33 - The Greatest Showman ft. Danny Worsnop 01:28:23

check check check our audio is still working what if it's what if it's not working it just stopped well that's we're just gonna watch it it'll be fine now it's it's past that one and a half second mark okay oh do you want to tell everyone what happened last time no we just we'll just pretend like oh let's cut yeah we gotta do this you gotta get a new one danny okay it's very important i want

Don't don't wait hold ready Thank you Eli for actually drinking not just putting it down I did first and then I know I saw it Hey Yeah, it was fuck. Oh, oh don't it's gonna appear right here. Yeah on our last real good. Can can can Danny sing our song? We open it up Can you just sing it though, yeah

He doesn't remember he's a musician. I wasn't three days ago, Eli. Wait, wait, I have it. I have it, I have it, I have it. Hold. Hold. Wait, before we do that. Hold. What? Do we intro? We should probably do an intro. Intro first. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined by Batty Streams, Mr. Eli Double Tap, and Danny Worsnop. Hello. Say hi to Eli. Hi.

It's racially ambiguous, daddy. That guy's fucking ridiculous, don't it? It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. That's our new intro. That's the new intro. We have a new intro. And you know how hard it is for me to get rid of that berserk, like... Song. Yeah, the song that we definitely are allowed to use. Definitely. Also, don't get covered. We haven't yet! I'm gonna cover it.

I'm gonna copyright strike you guys so hard. I did so much research trying to figure out who owns the rights to the Berserk theme. It's lost in limbo right now, which I think how Jakey originally was able to do. It's that little 10 second sample.

It's like old anime shit. It's 10 seconds. It might be because you might be okay. It's below a certain threshold. Yeah, it's fair use. Different years in different territories are different. Sometimes it's some of them are 10 seconds, some of them are 15. That's right. Fuck that song. Yeah. If you guys don't know what we're talking about, the intro is a song that Nakey Jakey did, right? And it's got the Berserk music in it. From the 1990s anime. The old anime. Yeah, old Berserk.

And no one knew that. I was like, that's Berserk! And everyone was like, what are you talking about? I was like, play. They were like, what the fuck? Is this a sound sample from a Japanese anime? I was like, uh-huh. I know that sound. It's so good. A real grapey anime. Yeah. This is the one you told me about before. Yeah. Grape. Have you watched Berserk? No. Danny doesn't watch. You don't watch anime? He thinks Mickey Mouse is anime.

That's animated. See? I watch anime. No, I do watch anime. Don't meet your heroes, guys. South Park's pretty good. No! No! Have you heard of this American anime? Family Guy! Oh, God, I hate it so much. Oh, jeez.

No, I don't think I saw like, I saw like two, two of your Japanese cartoons. I saw a couple of them. I didn't get it. It's just not my thing. Lots of tentacles going in places. I saw, it was very disturbing. It was mostly porn. It was just porn. My nephews hated it, but they did like it. They started crying. Can't babysit anymore. Oh man. Have,

Have you met Matt Best's cousin? Yeah. That draws hentai? Yeah, she literally draws. Wait, what? Yeah, I met her last night. His cousin draws hentai. Yeah. Like for fun? Yeah, it's a job and fun. It's like tentacle, straight up tentacle stuff. Well, if you love what you do, you never want to take it in your life. I'm going to need an introduction. Yeah. It was funny, I brought you up. I was like, you got to meet Batty. I'm wearing a tentacle shirt today. Yeah. That's what it's about?

Jesus saves. Jesus saves. I don't remember. It's one of my buddy, Broba. He's one of our artists. He does a lot of our art, Broba's shirts. It says like unclean and smut or some shit. I don't remember what it says on it. I don't speak the language. I'm just wearing a shirt with a tentacle on it. One of the funniest things on the internet in the world ever for me has always been translations of Asian shirts or Asian shirts where they've done them in English. It's so wrong. It's just like, fuck.

My grandma's a slut. But it's like a smiling son. They just mean nothing. It's just words. Yeah, when they actually just put them together. It's like, fuck cow pie over bus. It's like Proverbs. I don't think they know that Proverbs. Ostrich mustard? What?

what everyone always complains about our titles for the podcast you're like i don't know what it means and i just wait the entire podcast to figure it out and it never shows up i'm like that's how we do it you watched our whole podcast we're reverse movies where it's like you know sick gone in 60 seconds and they say it or any movie where they say oh they say the name of the movie and the wine you're like i love

That was the line. That was it. I love it. We have that. People just wait for us to say the line and we never do. It's like every couple podcasts. We'll name one. Some random ass bullshit. Vinegar, butterfly, vinegar, vinegar stroke. No, it was vinegar, butterfly strokes or something like that. That was a butterfly vinegar strokes. It was that one did catch my attention. I listened to him a few years ago. I was like, this is a workout. How is this going to be? Yeah,

So wait, you've listened to this disaster before? And you're here? Yeah. You were like, this is where I need to go. Yes, but in my defense, I've also met you all before. So the podcast didn't come as too much of a surprise. Realistically, for anyone who doesn't know you guys in person, this is very, very tamed down. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, depending on what day it is. How much we've drank. Yeah. Is it a Monday? Is it 5 p.m.?

This is like the start of an evening's drinking and the microphones stop and then things are set. And you're like, oh, here we go. To be fair, the microphones stop all the time. Yeah. Mostly when we don't want them to. Dang it. Okay, we have Danny. If you guys don't know Danny, he's a lead singer in Nickelback. Yep. Chef.

You're from Australia? Yes, Australia, Scotland. That's beautiful. That's that accent you can just hear. I thought you were the angry fallout boy guy. Beautiful beaches. We're photoshopping this angry fallout guy with Danny's face up close. It says Nickelback above his album cover. Like a Kevin Spacey scowl face. This has nothing to do with it.

It's just that small band, you know, like Asking Alexandria. That one! Twice. I was in that band twice. What happened? That's my favorite joke. There was a point in time where, ooh, shit got weird. And then I said, I'm leaving for like three years. And then I was like, I don't want to do anything else. I'm going to come back and make them my country music now. I picture you like picking up a shovel one day and you're like...

This ain't it. Oh, this is terrible. Where's my microphone? I left. I moved to Nashville. I released a country album. Well, I recorded a country album. Then I was talking to labels there and they were like, it doesn't matter where you came from. It doesn't really matter. You got to kind of start from the ground up. I was like, no, I don't think I do. And they said, that's not going to work in this industry. We're a very tight-knit community. So that album went number one when I released it without them. And then...

And then, yeah. Now he's an Oscar Alexander again. Now I'm an Oscar Alexander again. And we actually just had our first number one ever. Ever? Ever. Hell yeah. We had a curse of number three. We never got past number three. A load in the room? That was number three. Into the Fire was number three. Into the Fire, yeah. Everything off, like a House on Fire was number three. And then Alone again off the new album just went number one. Alone again went number one? That's pretty cool. That's awesome. Should have been a favorite. Congrats.

That one hasn't come out yet as a single. It hasn't? Oh. Was it an EP, that? I think that's going to be next. It's on the album, but it hasn't been like a single. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. Do that one. That's my joint favorite song on the album.

Guys, if you don't know, this is like Batty's fangirls. I have favorite moments watching you interact with him. Like the first time we went sushi when I was down the floor getting tattooed. I'm like, oh, we're going to eat with Danny from Asking Alexandria. And I screamed at you. Play it cool, Batty. Play it cool. You got this. What is so cool?

I played it pretty good, right? I was like, man, what's good? How you doing? Cool. Ozzy and the Siren, heard of them. And Matty was like, what do you do for a living? Dude, I was freaking out. Ozzy and the Siren has been one of my favorite bands for a very long time.

Mostly the album without Danny, but there's just that one song that was good. That was before they sold out. Yeah, before you came back and ruined everything, obviously. Before I made it sound like Imagine Dragons. Angry Imagine Dragons. It's all your favorite pop punk bands, Angry. Yeah, yeah. It's like Imagine Dragons, but with Trent Reznor makeup. Yes! Oh, very good. Nine Inch Nails' best show I ever saw, though. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Lights Over North America. You know we did a Nine Inch Nails cover back in the day?

I did not. Was it closer? Yes, it was. Was it really? No shit? It starts out normal, then it goes crazy heavy. I'm going to have to look that up. Roger, is it on Spotify? Everyone, you guys should check it out.

I don't know, the small band. - Baddie's gonna finish to that. - Absolutely. - If you wanna leave, we can come back. - Baddie's just like this. - He's gonna start and finish. - I just had fucking lunch with Danny alone. My girlfriend was there, but I don't give a fuck. - Alone. - I was alone in the room. - And then fit at another table.

I picture it like, go sit over there, Lauren. Me and Danny were sitting across the booth at the table. It was like a cock thing. I want you to watch. Sorry, babe, I'm busy. Film it. Put it on Reddit. Daddy, Danny Warsaw.

So Florida, yeah, I was freaking out like a motherfucker. Because this has been one of my favorite places for a long time. Warped tour days. Yeah, we did that. But my favorite interaction was at the ranch. No, it was at your house. No, it was at the ranch. I promise you. At the ranch, we were all in the living room with all the taxidermy and you were singing. No, that was at your house, Eli. We were on stream with Heather and everybody. No, that was a different time. Oh, I thought that's what you were going to say. Oh, no. I thought you told me a different time.

Same time, but a different thing. Yeah. But you were like, when everyone else was singing. Yeah, you were singing. So it was you singing. And I'm like, oh man, everyone's chilling. I listen to you sing. I look over at Batty and Batty's face.

Tears cresting his cheek. I had my hands under my chin. He did. They were just sitting there. I was like, yeah. And I look over. He's like, what? I did the exact same thing at your house when we had everybody. We had a big co-stream because Danny started singing Thunderstruck by ACDC, which is my all time favorite band. And I was like, I don't know what to do right now. I don't know what to do right now.

It wasn't good. I was always so pissed when they got Axl to fill in for them. It was Mickey Mouse Axl. I mean, listen. First off, ACDC don't know.

Who the fuck I am? So it makes sense that they didn't ask me, but I was still pissed about it. Why'd they call me? This is bullshit. Pick some cab driver, okay, Brian Johnson. No, no, no. He was sick. So they had... His ears went. Axl was filling in and there's been so much shit between me and Axl over the years. You have a beef with Axl Rose? We used to have something of a beef.

What? Everything since then has been like... Can we start it up again? What started it? Pretty high. He fucked your mom. An ex-girlfriend of mine, or the time girlfriend, who was his ex-girlfriend. That's where it all started. You and Axl Rose are Eskimo brothers? Yeah. That's congrats. That's cool. She got super weird. She got super weird. We also opened up for them back in the day. Like...

a couple times and it was never cool but then there was like a weird kind of kind of back and forth where i feel like there was a little bit of him trying to assert alpha dominance and me not caring and it was a cool thing i've ever heard in my entire life aggression on my side but you aggressive yeah how old were you at this point 20 25 oh so way more aggressive super aggressive

This is Danny with a chip on his shoulder. Like, a big chip. He's like, what did your knuckles say at the time, Danny? They said, fuck this. You couldn't see, though, because they were covered in cocaine. Now they're just plants. Now they're just plants. They're potted plants. See, they're growing to the sky, because that's... I have last year's Christmas tree. Yeah.

I find it way easier because do you ever find when people ask for directions and you have a point and they're like, I don't know where you're pointing. Now they've got an arrow to follow. I've always struggled with that. Oh, he really means it. There's four arrows. Yeah, so you're just shouting that way at him. For everyone who's listening, Danny has arrows tattooed on his knuckles. It's super cool though. Don't worry, guys. What's your favorite movie? Bam! Charlie Brown Christmas Special! This is...

It looks like that weak-ass bitch tree. I know. Oh, no. They're there for, I feel like, a kindred spirit thing for both of us, where it's a nod to my Nordic ancestry, I say, as a man with an assistant and maid and housekeeper who's capable of growing no crops and would be a disappointment to my forefathers. We would have definitely... We'd be like, it's cool, I'm a Viking. Yeah.

Somewhere in the heritage there was a little, like, a Viking definitely fucked my great-great-great-great-grandmother. Mine is, like, pretty much the whole way through. All fucking my great-great-grandmother. Oh, nice. All of them. Bro, hell yeah. But, yeah, yeah, I'm a massive disappointment to my lineage. I mean, this pot, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You mean you... Okay. They're looking down from Valhalla, like...

Really, you complained because you weren't allowed in the lounge today? The green M&M set you off. Huh, they didn't have the yogurt-colored raisins in the lounge? That was your fight. That's the hill you want to die on. And you died on that hill. Literally. By poison. You were in first class and the flight wasn't long enough to serve liquor. That's it for you, huh? Tried to open the door, huh? You're just going to set fire to their whole... Yeah, yeah, the trick's out.

Come on in. Sure. I guess we'll let anyone in. All right. Here we are. Look at this. This is out. So I didn't know you were a big gaming. Like, you're fucking good at gaming. Well, here's the crazy thing. Danny's good. Danny can game. Here's the crazy. I actually looked at my stats today and I hadn't in a while. And it's. Danny's good. So I started playing video games last year.

May like period yeah, you weren't a gamer as a child. No, what did you do? Did you go outside yeah, it was hay bales and horseshit Instruments and learn how to sing What did you do

hyper successful musician I can't wrap my head around whatever you did growing up what did you do with your hands yeah you must be really good at jerking off okay gaming's helping with that too though so

But yeah, I didn't have consoles. And the weird thing is through doing that again, I reconnected with a kid who grew up a couple streets down from me who did have video game consoles. I'd go over like once a week, we'd play like Pokemon Stadium and shit. So that was my video gaming experience when I was a kid. So I didn't do it. And then the whole like, Danny, you're not allowed to go on tour anymore because people have a cough.

So I was like, fuck, I gotta fill my time with summon. And we just done an album. So there was like, I can't go do that. Yeah. That wasn't great timing on that. I'm not going to lie. That's pretty bad. Pretty bad timing.

Yeah. So I bought a, I went to Best Buy and I bought a PlayStation 4 and Call of Duty Modern Warfare. And I started playing that and I was like, I'm getting pretty good. And I was playing with my brother who's also not very good. But I was better than them. I was like, I'm kind of slaying out right now. Dude, you slay. Well, then I started like playing with other people. I was like, I suck. Yeah.

In your friend group, you were good, but then you expanded your friend group and your friends were just really, really bad. Like, if we went in like a private lobby and put bots in there on like recruit mode, I could drop a hot like 10, 15 kills in a 20 minute game. Oh, fuck.

You're like, I can kill Tori every time. Yeah. That was the pinnacle of gaming. I found a video of the first game of Warzone I did, and it's hilarious. Like, a couple walks forward, and then I look around. It's really, really bad. It's when you actually look at, like, you're, like, marking the knife. You're like, guys, there's a knife here.

No, I did not ping anything. Oh, you were just looking at each bit. I also didn't know what anything was. So I was also asking everyone everything and just kind of running in a direction. Like just, I don't know, an attack spin or anything. So I'm just running. And I was looking at my stats. And as of now, my career KD is 1.07. But then I looked up and my WIth is like a 2.8. Yeah. So I'm like, cool. Like, I'm,

I kind of know where I'm at now, but literally that's all I've done for the last... Like a year and a half. Yeah, yeah. We got him to 300 or 200 wins? 200. We got a boy, Danny, to 200 motherfucking dubs. How many wins are you at?

300 something. Okay. I'm sure I don't know Call of Duty things. Yeah, I don't play. You're just mainly playing Warzone right now? Yeah. That's literally the only thing we installed on my computer yet. Oh, okay. We were slaying bodies then. Yeah. And it was a competition because Matt was like, guys are doing good. Matt hates being in last. Yes. So like. I love that.

And we're getting dub after dub because we got you three or four dubs. Five. Yeah. And Matt's just he's at the wrong place wrong time, which happens in cotton. And when you're if you're a little behind your team, you're like damage is low or off or you'll drop them. They'll res and then like we would come up and kill everyone. But Matt was like, you're fucking cool. Like laying bodies and Matt looks. He's like, I have three kills. I have three kills. We were like 14 or 14.

And Matt's like, oh my God. And then we're pushing the one house. He drops three of them and we're running towards it. One reses and reses the rest of them. I was like, oh man, I'm going to steal all your kills. Ha ha. I run with my shotgun. Take all his kills. He's like, fuck you. Like just raging. Danny's doing the same. We're just murdering everyone. It was like game after game too. That's.

Call of Duty. No. Because we didn't have Callie that night. Callie's usually the monster of it. He's something else. Yeah. But he's been over it so long. But yeah, that's all I've done for the last year and a half. So it's... He's like, that's it. I get super proud of getting way fucking better and my progress timeline being so steep. But then it's also a painful realization that this is all I've done for the last year and a half. Yeah.

Like the hours I have clocked in on that game. Like I think that outside of when I'm literally not home, I think the lowest has been like eight hours a day. Go. You literally just. Yeah. I'm literally just running like a nine to five. That's what you're like punching in in the morning. Babe, I got to go to work. I wake up, make some coffee, make some food, sit down at my desk.

Start just on some multiplayer just for no fucking reason get a warm up, you know warm up and then and then Just keep playing that until you're tired No, I was gonna say do you stream at all I streamed for a year Okay up until I started touring again, and it was it was for two reasons one it well both sides of it

Streaming was both something to kind of subsidize, obviously not going on tour and making money. But also, I'm an entertainer and that's all I've done for the last 13 years. So I have to get that out of me. That's, bro. I have to be a showman. So I'm like the showman from the movie The Showman. The greatest showman, maybe? Yeah, the greatest showman. I don't know.

I mean, I wouldn't say the greatest. That's for you guys to say. Say that. Okay. I was talking about the literal movie with Hugh Jackman, The Greatest Showman, the musical. Sure. We got the title of this episode, The Greatest Showman on Earth. What I got is that you said I'm the greatest showman. So yeah, listen, I'll go with it. I'll go with it. Take it. Take it. I'm a humble guy, but I'll take it.

Were you talking about the movie? Maybe. But I'm going to assume you were talking about me because I'm humble. I'm the most humblest person I've ever met. I'm so humble. I'm the best at it. Seriously, the best at it. So I had to get that out of my system. But then I stopped when I started turning in, both because it was like, cool, I'm way too busy to actually dedicate time to this now. And it was also...

Just feel sounds like a stupid reason to say, like, we didn't do it on this tour because of the same old coffin shit. But when we start doing meet and greets and stuff again, it's way harder to sell people meet and greets. Not that it's like we're trying to rip people off, but it's harder to kind of sell the concept of meet and greets if you're so fucking accessible on the Internet. Yeah, no, absolutely. If people are constantly able to just be like, hey, Danny, what's up in your Twitch chat?

Then you're like, hi. What's the incentive for them to come and have this kind of personal experience? And sure, there's some, because there are some incredible fans that are just so fucking involved. But for a lot of them, it's like... I said, hey, cool, bro. Yeah, got that piece. Here's a sub, bye. And the meet and greet experience, we put so many... In the past, sometimes not so much, because we were so burned out for a long time. But we put so much work into it, especially now, even though we haven't got to do it yet. We put so much work into it that it's something special. I don't want that to be...

I don't want people to not get to experience it because they're like, they think it's good enough. You want it? You want it? Yeah, absolutely. It's a closed off experience. That one-on-one monoweb. That going to a Mongolian restaurant for lunch with Danny alone. That's the whole thing. And that's $3,000 to sign up for the Danny Mongolian grill. Wait, I can pay you? Give Danny, give Danny the invoice for lunch. Yeah.

My people send it to your people. Look at this house. Do you think he has people? It's way better now. It's my house now. Never mind. It's your house now.

I like this one's almost full. Well, not almost. It's the opposite. That one's got dragons in it. Okay. That one's got the big ones. Those are the fancy ones. Hey, listen. This is a perfect... That's a perfect segue. Oh, no. You're talking about dragons because I want to... It's a perfect segue. You're talking about poor things. No. No, no, no. Because I wanted to talk about race theory real quick because I had a theory. Because you have a...

Where are we going with this? We gotta go. I can't be here. Eli, so you have a beautiful Porsche now. It's a Cayman, right? Yes, love the Cayman. Race cars. Yeah, what do you think I meant? Because I didn't think... Because you have a very fast car too. Who do you think would win in a race? You and your Porsche or Donut in a dress and stilettos? What?

- Is this a drag race? - It's like a standard quarter mile drag race, yeah. - Yeah, drag race. - Eli's in-- - I'm in a donut. - Drag, yes. - That was terrible. - But I'm gonna humor this-- - I bow and just picturing me up to the line, boom, boom. Okay, the lights are like, and I look over and Donathan is like, "The Leto's?"

This is the real thing. We all know Eli would be in the dress and shoes. So you can't put that on. Yeah, in the car too. I mean, he'd just be wearing it because it's a regular day for him. It's a weekend. He's not working. Danny and you are the ones like dropping the flags. Short shorts, let's go. I'm in. The shirts are top under. I'm in. Let's go. Donut ran a 9.6. That's weird.

in heels? Yeah, but that's the only way he can do it in heels. So he's like an Olympian. He lives his life a quarter mile at a time, Eli. This is a great callback to Gender Bender. That was a terrible episode. Did we do Danny? I don't know. Female version of you. Yeah, we used a filter and looked at female versions of ourselves.

I don't think we... Can we just real quick... Yeah, we're gonna need that. I'm gonna do a real quick photo. I don't know if I'd be a super hot girl. I mean, I wasn't. I looked... I would fuck Eli. I think when you have like a beard, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It just doesn't. You lose your chin. Give me a little... Like, go like this. There you go, like that. He's making sexy boy face right now. Oh, God, but your eyes. He's got fuck me eyes. He does. He does.

I guess. This is an explosion. Little pants explosions. Daddy's about to explode. Daddy's already exploded. He had lunch with him. It's not fair. I'm not used to famous people still. How? But you're famous. I'm not. I'm internet famous. That's very, very different.

You're big enough on Internet Famous where you're in a point where you're real famous. There's this chart. There's Internet Famous, Internet Famous, and then there's like, oh, suddenly I'm real famous. Eli's done lots of shit, so he knows all these cool people. Danny's literally Danny. And I play video games on Twitch. I used to be Internet Famous on MySpace.

Do you? Danny ate a chromosome. He looks like Caleb. He looks like Caleb. Okay, hold a Dell.

Oh man. Oh, you do look like Adele! Is that why I like Adele so much? Oh wow, yeah! Okay, we're gonna put up, for everyone who's listening, the female version of Danny looks just like Adele or Caleb. We'll put it up on screen if you wanna watch it. We did, like, older Adele or Caleb now? Yes. Or female Caleb. Female Caleb. Female Caleb was low. Female Caleb was thick. It was a, yeah. Here's a very strong jaw. Very. Caleb already has an underbite.

So, yeah. And then you just add that. And it makes Caleb's chin strong. He's got such a strong... But then you add that to a female. And you add a lot of pounds to that female. And you're like, this bitch would... Great baddie. She would be lots of graping with that girl. I don't like this. It's a rough one. I'm like, ooh...

do you have stats somewhere of how many people used to have an ask alexander song on myspace as their profile song i mean i don't know i don't even know how to get into our own myspace you're gonna need to figure that out i'll try i'll try and figure it out i just i want it because is myspace still active i don't know justin timberlake bought it and then i heard the wait he what yeah justin timberlake bought it

What? Yo, I'm about to make a MySpace again. He tried to make it into this big music platform. It just didn't. It just fizzled out. It just didn't. It's kind of that nature of social media where it's like it's cool for 10 years and then disappears and goes away. Like Instagram's about there. TikTok's like popular now and then it's going to start fading out as well. When are you guys going to make a song that's 30 seconds long so it can only be on TikTok? He did. The unsubscribe. Oh, shit. See? I have so many jingles I've written.

that I just saved on my computer. You have sent me a large number of small jingles. Yeah. I do that for fun only. I'm Danny's late night thought. It's four in the morning. He should be in bed, but he's in bed singing quietly into his phone.

I know you're like, Batty's awake right now. You're like, this motherfucker's definitely awake. This guy can't sleep. His past's haunting him. He's awake. His past has never deployed. He's sad I'm thinking about things he's said and done. Shower thoughts in bed till 4 a.m. He's soft resetting Pokemon. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm still. Where do you at, Batty? This game is, this game, the Pokemon game is 20 hours. Batty, how many hours have you played it? What do you mean?

mean what do you mean okay so pokemon game if you beat it like a video game yes it's a handheld like consoles on the switch nintendo switch pokemon one of the longest running not longest running parent has been running since 1998 i like breaking it down like i got do you know do you have that handheld you don't know i did i did i did have a um

You see why I'm breaking it down? He doesn't know. Game boy. Game boy. Game boy. Game boy color. You see? It was green. So I'm playing the newest Pokemon. That bitch was green. Was the screen green or the console green? Well, after I dropped it, the screen was green too. God damn it. I'm playing the newest Pokemon game on Switch right now. And I'm trying to get a very special version of the starter Pokemon you get. Yeah.

which the odds are one out of every 4,096 or 0.02%. So if you don't get it, you just start over. You just reset the game real quick.

And there's a save point right before this, so you have to wait 90 seconds, you find out if you got it, you didn't, because you never do! And then you reset it, and I've been doing that for over 65 hours. I've been playing the same 90 seconds of this game. Have you played any more? No, that's it, because I refuse to start the game. At this point, I'm just too stubborn. I've reset the game. So what's the perk of having this different one? It just looks different. It just looks different. There's nothing special. Instead of green, it's light blue. Honestly...

Honestly, the odds of it being actually worse than a normal one are like a little higher too. Cause there's like different stats things can get. You can try to might suck. Yeah. Honestly, it's probably going to suck more. How many resets are we at? 1,937 or some shit. Are you telling? Yeah. I have my mods when I, cause I do it on Twitch. I do it live.

And yesterday I did like another 200 live. And then before the other day I did like 400. I did like 12 or 13 hours nonstop live. It's going to be hilarious when you actually get it. You freak the fuck out. Then this thing is just dog. I know it's going to be shit. Like I've accepted that. This is going to be like, like, like, like a,

A little mutt dog from the streets of Singapore. Three legs and one eye. I got it! No teeth and it kind of actually speaks human English, but you can't tell what it's saying. It sounds like that dude from the Goonies. Yeah.

So, I hope you like your Pokemon. It's moves are pain, pain, pain. Yeah.

So yeah, I've been playing Pokemon a lot lately. You haven't? You haven't played it at all? The game takes 20 hours to beat the entire thing. You have inputted what your name is and your mom's name like a thousand times. I haven't even done that. This is literally Batty has to tap up and then he hits A probably 60 times and then reset. That's pretty close. Oh, with another up in there. One more up. Up.

It's up a like 60 times up a one more time than I reset. I can do it with my eyes closed, head down on my desk. I know this because I did it three times in a row. What have you got? What have you got at one of those? I hear the second up. And they didn't tell you. Nope. And they didn't tell you. I don't trust chat. I would never trust them. Fuckers. What I'm hoping is for is that he gets a special Pokemon. He's like, yeah. And the game actually like hard freezes. Okay.

muscle memory. So the thing is, I'm never going to accidentally do it. It's too long. So older Pokemon games, you could do this too. But the reset period was only like 30 seconds. It was a very quick process. This one takes long and there's extra fucking steps in it. So for me to muscle memory, fuck this up.

It'd be it's just not going to happen. Well, that one guy did reset. Oh, yeah. The stream. Yeah, we talked about this last time, but or two episodes ago. But yeah, I'm still doing this. I've been doing this for three episodes of our fucking podcast, which is like a month. Yeah. 14 days now.

15 days. You guys record a lot of these. No, we actually do. We actually just had a little bit of a backlog for once. Two episodes. That's a little bit of a backlog for us. Two episodes. It's unheard of on this. Honestly, we had like two weeks without it. We've been really good. No, we've been really good. I know. We've got to fluck. Yes, we've been every Wednesday. The holidays fucked us up. That was it. Thanksgiving happened, so we didn't record one. They're really easy to lose track of, huh?

Honestly, yes. I had one called Idiots. I did like 14 episodes and then it disappeared.

And then I've done like one recently. I was doing them every day. They're 10 minutes long. Jeez. And they were stupid. Was it just you? Yeah. Was it a podcast about? Were you talking to yourself or did you actually have something recording it? No, no, no. It was just me talking and just ranting. I was hoping it was like a pump up podcast. Like you gave like motivation. No, very much not. So one of them was about. Very much not.

I just kind of tell a story about something that happened. And one of them had gone to Target, and I went to the bathroom, which I'm not proud of. But sometimes you have to go to the bathroom, and you're at a supermarket. And you destroy it. It's not the best bathroom in the world. This is a very different. You'd love to hold it until you get home, but sometimes you can't wait until you get home, because now's the time. Man, I poop in a lot of everywhere.

That's true. There's a difference, Eli. Military. When you're in the military, you don't give a fuck where you poop anymore. Yeah. So I'd gone in and there was pubic hair all over the seat. Yeah, I'd just sit on the chair. I don't give a fuck anymore. I don't know if they have alopecia of the testicles. And if that's the case, I was apologizing. So they're just real bald? But then I was like, I don't know, maybe some guy comes to Target and he was like,

my razor's dead and this is getting out of control i gotta go and he couldn't wait till he got home he just went in the bathroom and just shaved it right there because he had some important thing to get to he had a meeting that's going to involve him showing his quick shout out to my boy jimmy jimenez hey man i love you even though you have alopecia but then nothing there's nothing but then oh shit but then i basically contemplated on like

I should scoop it up and go because there was also a guy whistling in the bathroom. There's nothing more conspicuous that you can do. Well, I'm like, it was you. It was you. He was just hanging out whistling in the bathroom. Shaving his penis. In public, walking around by themselves, whistles. People have done something wrong. This is going to throw him off the fucking, this is going to throw him off the scent. Why did you sound like an eagle? I can't whistle. You can't whistle?

I can whistle really loud. You sound like an eagle in a western movie. Donut, can you whistle? Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. I can do the very high pitched whistle. A little flex? But that's... Oh, Jesus. I'm sure everyone loves that. What? Anybody else in the world does that? Make the face to the cameras. Oh, you also kind of make your mouth attack as you're shaking balls. What is that?

Why am I still holding these imaginary boots? Damien's still... Watch out, don't spill them. He's still holding the imaginary boots. Well, that was the ending. I was like, I should take them along and I should go out in the stall finding I was in. You know what you did? That was one of the episodes.

Do you just look for the guy who's scratching a little bit? No, I'm looking at whistling. Just walking around Target with your pubes. Don't worry, I'm doing some public service. Today took a turn. Can I ask you an important question? Yes. What is your tattoo sleeve? What is it? Yeah. I have no idea. We've had this discussion. I know. I love it.

It was a fantastic tattoo artist called Shonzi. He was in New Jersey, then New York. I think he's back in Jersey now. But we basically gave him the reins. I was 17. And he designed all this crazy stuff. And it's like a head. Is that an octopus eye? No, no, no. That one? No, over on this one. That one right there. This one? I can't remember what that one is. It's like a double goat eye. Yeah, octopus eye. It's just a whole bunch of shit. I didn't finish it.

For the same reason we talked about in the car earlier where like, I don't know if any of the- Scroll down. Scroll down? Your tattoo like looks like it's in pain. Yeah. Help me. It's the same thing that we talked about in the car where like there's been so many times where he's like, hey, you want me to finish it? I'm like, no. No.

I just wanted to bring this up, talking about fucking tattoos and how much I fucking hate them. You almost threw up the other day. I did. I was getting my kneecap tattoo, and it's not the kneecap exactly. It's the circle around the kneecap, like where your patella moves a little bit. Like that circle makes me want to vomit. I had a completely. It's it's. And I have my knees are all fucked up, too. So I'm sure that didn't help. But like I hated it because of all that war.

The walking I did around the U.S. Dude, ask him where he deployed to. No, I did not know. No, he knows. You've done this before as well. This is not the first time. Yeah, you've embarrassed me every chance you get. I've never told that wall of stories. I've never embarrassed you. Ever. Not ever in my life. Zero time. You touched my ceiling. Batty, can we talk about the special guest we might have soon? Who? I don't even know about this one. I'm going to put up a mirror.

Oh. We won't. No, we're not. I don't want to. Oh!

Yeah. Okay. I know what you're talking about now. That's amazing. I'm sad. I love you and Donut both had the same idea. Like, you text the exact same thing Donut did. Yeah. Guys, we're not revealing this secret yet. I'm sad again. Sad. The biggest secret is there's no guest. That's the M. Night Shyamalan twist to this story. Oh, no. Have you talked to this person? He's down. Yeah. He's in Austin. Oh! Yeah.

Yeah, literally. Danny flew here from Florida. This guy was easy. He loves bass. He has hand tattoos that are circled. Have you heard him talk? Oh, it's completely different. That is the only one I was like, whoa! I was like, this is not... He doesn't sound like Lola from Big Mouth at all.

What's the line? Hold on. What's the Lola from Big Mouth line? I got it. I got it. Wrong! Lola's right here, you fucking Brussels sprout. I've never seen the show. Really? I don't like it. I've seen clips so many times I'm like, I don't care about this type of shit. You would love this show. It's so good. It's literally just dick jokes. The entire show is dick jokes. I've never heard of it. You've never heard of Big Mouth?

No, never mind. Big mouth. Who wrote that? It's Nick Kroll. It's Nick Kroll and I forget his fucking name. The guy who looks like he is going to knock on your door and tell you about Jesus. What the fuck does that mean? I mean, you know what that means. Like he looks like a Jehovah's Witness. Yeah. That doesn't help. That doesn't... My phone's over there. John Mulaney. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah.

I gotta do this. I gotta find a little big mouth. It's terrifying how my voice and Nick Kroll, when I get like, what the fuck? When I do that? Who was that motherfucker we raided? I think it was your buddy that sounded identical to me. This was you. Oh, shit. Batty was like, you suggested the raid or whatever. And I went over to his chat and I was like,

I don't remember who it was. I was like, Batty, this sounds like in my head when my voice sounds, when I hear it, I was like identical to this human. He's even crazy when you hear it. Yes. And I was like, uh, no, no. So we went over to raid him and I was like, hey, what's your discord? He

because he was live he's like oh this and i hopped and i was like just pull me in real quick and then i started talking and then he started talking i started talking you couldn't tell chat was like i don't know who's fucking talking if i didn't have a face it sounds like you're talking to yourself and you're just replying it was fucking creepy and i do not have been having phone sex ever since yes everything fuck yeah eli fuck yeah eli

It was the, the, the little, why won't you pants me line? This is what always fucking gets me. It's this shit. I'm here. Thank you for including me. Andrew, why won't you? I'm wearing one of my mom's thongs and I put tanning cream all over my butt. Jesus.

Andrew, why don't you pants me? I'm wearing one of my mom's songs. And I put tanning cream all over my butt cheeks. Oh my God. I've never watched that before. I've never seen the show before. But that one, everyone was like, yo, you sound like Lola. I'm like, I don't know what you talk about. It's literally how I talk when I'm mad and I hate it. I hate it so much.

What the fuck? Yeah, Nick Kroll, bro. What's up, dude? How many did you do at, Danny? This is number three, but I also did tequila shots a lot. Oops. Did you? Nice. We didn't have any shots for... I didn't have any tequila. I drank all the tequila. Do you only drink tequila? Yeah. Not whiskey? Not usually. I'll drink Jameson from time to time. Do we do a shot with special guests? We need to do something. Is he a special guest? What makes him more special than all our other guests? All our other guests?

He's special. Yeah, he's special. I just picture him spitting in his hand for nothing. He's just like, what do I do with this?

The only Eli can say the word, we can't. I have a pass. He's artistic. That's fine. He sings. He's artistic. Yeah, it's an art pass. That's not how that works. Nope. Internet's going to cancel us. Again. I don't have any passes.

So I used to be in Asgard Alexandria. This time it was not my decision. They asked you to go away. Twitter said, nah. Have you played any other video games? We'll actually try to loop it back to video games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried Rainbow. Didn't hate it. Rainbow Six, right? Yeah. But I played that on the gamepad thing. There's literally not enough buttons.

So I couldn't wait game pass have so many buttons no no, but they could you have a shitty gamepad It's that razor one. Yeah, the Tartarus. Yeah, there's literally like you need to go further because there's obviously the lean and oh, yeah There aren't enough you know that there aren't enough you need you need like more of a key judging you a little bit I mean I could probably you could make it work just fine. Yeah, they're not willing to reach you program the entire thing Oh, yep. That's what you have to do. Like you use one CUNY wouldn't Q&A Q&A QQ

Right? Yeah. No. A-W-E. Q and E. You're right. Yeah. Those are the leans. Yeah. But as I was doing it, it was like there was shit that I physically couldn't do because I was like, I don't want to reprogram. Yeah. That's what you have to do with the razor ones. So I tried that. I didn't hate it.

But I still kind of preferred the movement and the pace of Call of Duty. It's much quicker. It all goes down to that's what I learned on and spent so much time on. Everything is compared to that. I tried the last battlefield one time. It's trash. Garbage. We've had like four episodes where we just shit on that. Literally every episode we just shit on it. Like five, not even five minutes of one match and I just uninstalled it.

I think we should continue this streak. I pre-ordered the new one. Didn't love that either. Didn't like it? The new one? Battlefield 24-2. That's what we're talking about. The last one I tried first. Was that Battlefield 1? It had its moments. It wasn't great though. I don't like old timey shit. World War 1. So the new one. Yeah, don't like it.

Don't like it. I tried... What else did I try? I tried Rogue Company. Didn't like that. Too futuristic. Tried Halo. Don't like it. Too futuristic. I don't like futuristic shit either. I've heard good things about... So Halo is one we're trying to play because the combat mechanics are apparently really good when you... The new Halo. The one that just came out. So here's something I did see. And I've got a couple of friends who've been playing it a lot. They're all mouse and keyboard players and they're like, do it on a controller.

If you're gonna play Halo do controller. Really? Huh? Apparently I didn't from like I heard that too. We told us role. Yep players have aim assist You do the top tier like the top thing is like five or ten percent players on mouse and keyboard have lower accuracy than the middle tier controller. Oh, so it's hard aim assist. Yeah, I

Did you play the new Vanguard? Oh my god. I leveled up the STG and the MP40. Dude, the aim assist on that one. Did you see how the aim assist, how good it was? No. That shit would snap.

I was watching, we were like getting kills and it'd be like, I died, I died, I died. And I'm like, what the fuck? And it goes to the replay. And I'm like, how is this? And he's like, what? Like straight to the head. It's wild. Fucking just cheats. Controllers. If you can play a controller with really high sensitivity and just aim assist, cause that's, and it tracks, it tracks you too. And I was like, cause war zone has some aim assist. Yeah.

And you're like, was there a bug? Especially when you know how to use it. You just caught that bug. Eat it. Eat it. Crush it. Eat it. Look at it. Protein. Eat it. Protein. Eat it. Eat it. Eat the bug. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. My 12. Do I need to listen to my friend? You're the higher 12. You don't fucking eat it. And Eli died that day. Okay. Yeah. I leveled up those two. But then it was like.

That was in the first three days before I even realized how broken all the shotguns were. And then I just stopped. Do you have shotguns? I was having a blast. I was just like, oh yeah. I always use shotguns and,

What's nice about Warzone is no one uses a shotgun in Warzone other than your boy. And your boy doesn't lose close engagements now because they don't have to fucking aim down sight. It's like Tarkov when you just... It's the leg meta shotgun. Yeah. I have that exact thing where I'm just like... I just jump around. I'm like... Your legs are ground. You gotta hit something. That's the other game I tried. Actually, I tried Destiny as well. I thought I was super good at it. I was basically in the menu fighting. Yeah.

Cuz there's bots. Yeah, I'm killing all the bots! My drummer James plays it and I was like fine I'll download it and I was like I'm actually gonna like shitting on everyone and he was like he's like he's like how much have you done? I was like I don't know I'm just running around the map and just killing people. He's like what map? The open world with all the bots? Yeah. That's literally all I was doing. But I texted you about it because I pre-ordered Toggle. I didn't know it was still a beta. Yeah.

But I've also since learned why I hated it so much. And it's because I didn't know they do resets and shit. So I went in, in like, I can't remember what month it was. It was whenever I texted you. A while ago. And it was like when people are running like million dollar loadouts because they've been playing for three months. You joined at the very end of a wipe cycle. So everybody has everything unlocked.

and you're showing up with like a shitty fucking vest and an AK that's probably going to jam after its fourth round. It wasn't good. I got my Christmas gun. I went to the website and they did away from that. They did? Yeah, yeah. This one went away this year.

Or with this last reset, I think. But see, this is where you stream Tarkov and you team up with Batty or any of the Tarkov people because they give us... You have to teach us. And then you quit streaming. They give us weapons. It's loadout weapons. They just give you like loadouts. So they're like... We call them viewer kits. Yeah, viewer kits. I'm like, hey, everybody who's watching me, I don't feel like doing anything today. Bring me a kit. And they'll build a gun and they'll put a whole kit and they're like, see if you can survive with this. And I'm like...

murder murder murder or i just die and so they'll get us like 10 mil they'll be like here's tim mill and everything i tried to escape and you're like

I remember when you had like 30 million in like weapon cases and then back gave me all the top gear. And I was like, I don't give a fuck. Fuck your money. Because normally if they give you a lot of stuff, they expect you to just try to get off the map without fighting people. I was like, nah, I'm going for it. Wasn't good. I died. Yeah. I want to, I want to try again when it's like kind of a beginning of a cycle and,

later this month or next month, probably. We're at the very end again of a website. I still got like four people, but... I mean, you can kill anybody with anything. That's the one thing that's nice about Tarkov. I killed him with kindness, Benny. Probably not. I killed Donald with a grenade the first time we played. Hey, Eli, remember that one time you shot me in Tarkov? That one time where you... I thought I cleared the game. I took the magazine out. Oh my God, I forgot it. This was like two years ago. I took the magazine out because you can take the magazine out. I was like...

I was like, Batty, what's up? He's like, what? I click. He's like, boom! So me and Eli were playing Tarkov, and I was being funny, clicking an empty gun at Eli. So like pulling the trigger, pulling the hammer back, pulling the trigger. There was nothing in the gun, though. I knew it was empty. It was a shotgun. So it's a tube. There's no mag. Eli has a rifle, an AR or an AK. I don't fucking remember what it was. Damn.

for but he's like I'm gonna do it to you watch this as he pulls the mag out puts it in his rig points the gun at my face I was like Eli and then he fires and of course being an AR or an AK whatever it fucking was there's a round in the chamber

And so gun safety Eli blew my fucking head off as his teammate and just stood there screeching and audibly for 30 seconds. I threw the gun down. I was like, he did. Ran off the drop gun. Donut did a shooting breakdown. It was great. It was a full loop. Thanks for that, bud.

bud the first time me and donut played we all played together and we had bitbot commands at that time so god bitbot is chaos bitbot is you know bits on yeah it's programmed to another it's

Programmed to Twitch and it works with... It reads your Twitch bit donations. And then it does... You have your automated system built out that it's like, hey, this many bits is donated. It does an immediate action in the game. It does hotkeys or shit like that. 60 was... A 60 bits is a random round fire. It's like instantly. Someone doing 60 bits, your gun just goes off. You're like, I didn't even click it. It doesn't matter. The game did. Yeah. Yeah.

I forget how many was one grenade. There was grenades. 7777 for four grenades a helicopter. It would make you spin in a circle throwing grenades in the air or there was mag dumps in a circle. You go prone but people would chain. Or you talk and it's so annoying. Oh yeah, you try to be quiet fighting a person and all of a sudden your dude would start talking. Like cheeky breaky! You're like, shut your fucking, fuck you chap! No cheeky breaky! Then you throw your mag on the ground and you're like, good!

damn it. You're like putting it back in your gun and you're like, huh? And then they'd make you go prone and throw a grenade at the same time. So you'd lay on your own grenade. That was fun. Love that. Cause it was a command that made you look straight down. First. It took your mouse. You look straight down, throw a grenade at your feet and then go prone. And,

And it takes so long to stand up. You're just like, this is the end. I'm dead now. And chat will waste money. I wish I knew about this when I was streaming. I have a clip where I'm watching a dude walk. I was like, there's a guy. We're on labs. What's it? Labs? Yeah. Labs, which is the expensive one. And I see his feet. I'm like, okay, he's about to crest here. I can get this caught. Chicky-pricky throws my knife. I was like, fuck you. And then my guy starts spinning. And I die instantly. I'm like, ugh.

Me and Donuts first raid together. I'm like, okay guys, we're gonna play with Donuts. It's gonna be a good time. Grenade hot. Grenade straight up came down and killed everyone. We had just started. It was in a factory. Yeah, literally. It came just started. He's like, yeah, grenade. I may have to start the stream again. It is fun. How many can you have on a team?

Four. Four players or five if you're doing the cheapy scav runs. Cool, we do an episode of this. I would live to get E-Line Donut back in Tarkov. I haven't played it in a couple months. When is the actual game coming? Never. I haven't played Tarkov. So just stay in beta. Honestly, it's been in beta since early 2017. I started playing mid-2017. Alpha was before that. It was in alpha for a couple years.

There's no end of the beta, though. It's kind of like in the Star Citizen realm where people just throw money at the devs without caring about the actual development cycle or if the game's ever going to be completed. People are still buying it. We're nowhere closer to a complete game now than we were. What does a complete game look like, though? The end goal is all the maps, the individual maps, are one big map.

Kind of Warzone style. Yes, honestly, but without the Battle Royale aspect to it. Did you see that Call of Duty is talking about doing a Tarkov-style game? Hopefully. Somebody should do it. I'd be happy with that. Like losing kits and stuff? So they're doing, with Vanguard Warzone coming out, they're having regular BR on the new map. Then they're having Vanguard Warzone.

They're having- *Maniacal laughter* Yes! Man, deep throat to the mic! It's a thing we do here, don't we? We don't watch those. Brandon's done that one, Matt's done that one. There's a lot of man on that mic right now. And we just ate like, I would say so much garlic sauce. Next guest is gonna- You will remember me. Um. Yeah. Just checking. Um. Then there's gonna be Vanguard Warzone, which is only Vanguard guns.

And the new... Map, this Pacific map. Yeah, but the regular one's also going to be that map, but you can use all the guns. But then the Vanguard one's only Vanguard guns. You can't buy loadout until the regular one drops. Interesting. And new vehicles, which I think is like planes and stuff as well. Planes, trains, and all the wheels. And then with the new Modern Warfare, it's supposed to be...

There's a new game mode coming out that's like Tarkov style. I think it's like hardcore plus basically. Yeah, like realism mode. I'm down for...

Which I actually don't hate the sound of. I hate the sound of the Vanguard. I only used to play hardcore. All I used to play when I played Call of Duty was hardcore. That's all I would do. I hated bullet sponge. Psychopathic. Time to kill is just shot. Battlefield is one shot. Way more bullet sponge than any game I've played. It was the worst game I've played. No. Battlefield was worse. I've played two games of the new Halo. Infinite? Yeah.

It's crazy. I mean, it's... Even with the battle rifle, it's like you're putting like...

so many bullets into someone to kill him which is crazy because when you play warzone especially if you came to warzone you're like man that guy has three plates and warzone i played i played it on matt's account yeah and you shoot him one of the two because i i asked betty to come play warzone he said no i will not do it i hate it i hate it so much i know it's a hard no and it's like

It doesn't matter if it's spending time together. It's still not. I'd rather get another tattoo. He turns down Danny Worsnop. I will get my kneecap tattooed again before Danny Worsnop. Danny's biggest fan is still like, fuck you, I'm not playing. I thought you were my biggest fan. I am. Fuck you, I'm not playing that goddamn game.

teach you dark off not gonna put warzone not gonna put 200 gigs that bullshit on my fucking computer i saw i saw a theory about that that actually kind of makes sense where they were like they do they if you look outside the maps there's so much shit that renders in that isn't involved in the game at all oh yeah you're like they literally do it so it takes up more space in your hard drive so you have to uninstall other shit to keep you on that game longer because you don't oh my god that is a terrifying you have to actually get rid of other games to make room for it

So you can only play other games. You just play that game. If you want a representation of what war zone it is like buying the single beer, but getting this entire case and all these cans, but they're all empty, but you have that one full beer. That's war zone. Oh, we didn't do the thing where we ask people what it's a chip bag. Oh, what should we do? So much air, like nine chips. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah. What is our question? Our question for chat today is what is your favorite asking Alexandria song? Oh,

You should definitely not use any from the album that Danny wants. That's okay. Hey, you know, you know, fun fact. I've never listened to that album. Hold on. You've never listened to that album. There's only one good song on it. That's what I've heard. Guys. Okay. I got a better question. Okay. Oh, no, we go competition and chat one for asking Alexandria to for smash mouth.

Go. Two. Or just Photoshop Danny on Guy Fieri's body. And I'll be like, 100%! We made fun of Eli for being a small Spartan in the new Halo game and there's a glitch where it makes one smaller than everybody else. Yeah, there was a glitch with the small one. I was like, fine, I'll be the odd job of, well, you don't even know me. God, I hate this game. No, I've played two games.

You played two games of Halo. You've never played Goldeneye, so I can make an odd job joke. I saw the movie Goldeneye. You said you played a great movie. Yeah, Pierce Brosnan. Did you see the new? I haven't. I'm excited to see it. Oh, my God. Dude, bro. Is it good? Bro, we can't ruin anything. They're whispering to themselves. Is it good? Listen, here's how good it is.

They could leave that as the last James Bond ever and I would be perfectly fine. 100%. Yeah. If they never replaced James Bond, I'd be 100%. So it's much better than Casino Royale. I thought Casino Royale was one of the best Bond movies ever. Did you know Casino Royale is rated as one of the highest rated Bond movies of all time? That's when they finally accepted that Daniel Craig's actually a dope Bond. Yeah.

Wait, wasn't that the first one? That was the first one. That's the one everybody shits on. That's the best Bond of all time. They shit on it before it came out and then it came out and they were like, actually, this is really good. I'm not going to fight it right now, but fuck Casino Royale.

There's some dumb stuff like Aston Martin flipping on the road because he turned hard. Or the entire poker scene, the gambling scene where the guy's like, that's his tail. Like the chick doesn't realize there's a fucking tail. They make the guy's obvious tail. He's like... It's a movie. Yeah, it's a terrible movie. It's the highest rated movie. What's your favorite movie? My favorite Bond movies? No, movie. Probably something Lord of the Rings related.

Related? They just walk for three fucking days. I don't know if I could pick one of the three Lord of the Rings movies. Definitely nothing. The hardest one with the horse. A history of violence with stair raping. Oh no, you said the R word and it's not retard.

What Danny what big things are next for you that we can actually like and asking Alexandria Yeah, well, I don't care about you as an individual or your country album on this way. He was a band. What was your cat? I didn't know you like it

Are you fucking with us right now? No, he really did. Okay. I'm going to go listen to it. Yeah. Jesus Christ, man. There are a couple questionable numbers on that album. But there's some gold on the record. One of my favorite songs I ever wrote called High is on the record. There's also a song called I Feel Like Shit, which I wrote after a very heavy night drinking. And that's the theme song for drinking.

Also, another one called Don't Have a Drinker, which I believe is right before it. In that video, I went across the street from my old place in Nashville to a place called Jack Brown's Burger Joint in Nashville. If you're in the area, definitely go get it. It's fucking amazing. Don't go there every day like I did. You get fat real fast. But I went in there, and before they lost their liquor license, why they lost their liquor license? I don't know.

Was it you? Did you? We shot the music video unannounced. We just went in there and set up a camera. And I think I took like 38 shots. Just back to back while the song was playing. This man's dead. Can you loud it? Oops. Jesus. I do have a side story. I don't know if I can tell. Can we talk about the song? Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm not ready to hold on. This was a while ago. I was a girl. I was talking to.

Was talking about like, oh, blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, she's cute. This is great. We're talking. She's like, oh, well, I was like, have you she was talking about something with some girl. Gross shit. Stupid. I think I might. And you went on a date with them. Oh, no, I don't know this girl.

Oh, this is a girl that actually went on a date with you. Was it like a Tinder date? No, I don't. It was. So this girl I was talking to is like, yeah, well, I've known some. Well, I've I've went on some date with some music people and I was like, oh, music people. She's like, and I knew what type of music she liked. I was like, oh, she's like, yeah, but they're like kind of famous. You wouldn't know. I was like, oh, you went on a date with them, though. And I don't know if I should tell you. I was like, tell me. And they're like.

well so this is a weird conversation to have i know and it was like but it was well there's this lead singer from a band called asking alexandria you probably don't know someone i've never met before and no i forgot i forget their name i'll pull up a picture because they were like yeah i went on a good date i went on a date that day so i never went on the date oh

You said the conversation. Yeah, and I was like, wait. And she was like, yeah. I was like, oh, the lead singer of Asking Alexandria. And she was like, yeah. Um...

It was okay, blah, blah, blah. And like talking about it. And I was like, uh-huh. Did you send a picture of you and Danny like pictures of you and me online? It's kind of weird for her to bring up. No, I think she knew that. I feel like she knew. I know. That's why I was just like, what the fuck? It was a weird. This is again a while ago, like fucking ages ago. And I was like, it's so fucking random in the country.

State. You always been around. I've been in like one I-2-3 IED blast. My brain, I don't know who I'm talking to right now. You always making shit up right now.

San Antonio? My brain doesn't work as good. Definitely not if they're from San Antonio. No, it's not. I'll look it up after. But I was like, wait, this is great. I'm so curious. Now I'll show you. You want to fuck my girlfriend? Okay, wait. We're going to lean away for a second. I love you so much, Danny. She's like this. No ring a bell. Yes!

Good looking girl though. I can't wait. I think she said you were Oh No Especially if this was a long time ago I don't think I've ever been on a sober date Which one what do you mean which music video I

I've been in one music video in my entire life. Oh, which music? You? Oh, shit. Oh, shit! I forget you were in that. The what? No, I forget. Like, fucking never. Donut was in it? Look, Danny, what music video are we talking about? We're talking about the R. Kelly video. Oh, yeah, that one. The R. Kelly video that you guys did? When he pissed in your mouth. I mean, yeah, sure. And you sung...

How difficult was it being... That was the entire video. After the R. Kelly video, how difficult was it being a child star? Yes. That bolted me into the spotlight. I forgot about that. The Matt Best and fucking Danny Worsnop when we layer words to the rest of the song. Guys, this is his...

Swan song. Yeah, his voice is delicious. It was so good. We got together. Me, you, Donut, Matt, JT, Logan, fucking Grizzly Force. Like everyone got together for a Veterans Day video. And Danny hang his heart out for.

If we can take one second before we do anything, is if you want to know the natural difference between Batty seeing the wheels on the bus go round and round. Go. I'm going to make him do it. I'm going to make me do it. Then I'm going to make him do it. Go.

Wheels on the bus go round. Sing it, though. I don't know how to sing. Sing it. I can't. Try it. I can't. You do the fake stuff first. No, I don't. That's just me screeching into the abyss. Do that. Screech into the abyss. Wheels on the bus go round and round.

I'm all sick and shit. The wheels on the bus go round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round. What the fuck was that? I'm trying to put in more effort than you guys. I don't want to do anything.

No one's judged me. What the fuck was that? I'm terrible. I thought you were a musician. You could have tried. You could have not tried and it would have been better than that. That's what I don't. That's why I don't try that. Next time, don't try. Danny, you're up. My turn? The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. The wheels on the bus go

round and round all day you're a little flat there I am such a boner right now this is like hard as a rock now batty try again well

All the blood is left in my head is in my penis right now. I remember one time, because it was when you started learning piano. That's why I thought that. And you started playing, and I do not play the piano well. I can... No, no, no. He does everything well. I can play chords on the piano. I purposefully have never learned how to play piano. It's my favorite instrument in the world, and I don't want to ruin it. I love it.

The same with everything I've ever learned how to do. The second I know how to do it and I perfect it in a way that is, for me, right, I just critique the instrument when everyone else picks it up. I love the piano so much that I don't want to be able to do that. So I actively don't learn. I can play chords and like one hand is a metronome, the other hand is a moving chord. That's it. Danny not giving a fuck about the piano is better than most people trying. I know. I hate it. No, no, no. Danny, fuck you. Definitely not.

Um,

No, you guys have been super good at piano. He posted a video. I think Jared posted some afterwards. And then I posted some and I was like, fuck you both. But I was singing as well. You did. You did. Me and Eli went back and forth. I was singing stuff to him on voice notes and stuff. Which ended up in a super deep conversation about the music industry. Where I showed him how fucking horrible the world of piano is. That's when you threw the piano away. You started the story. His video was him throwing his keyboard away. That's right. Yeah.

Because Danny started singing the wheels on the bus and I just took my computer out. Yeah, it was. I was like, Danny can sing this. I took my keyboard out and I just threw it in the fucking trash. I was like, I'm not even going to try. Dude, it's not even fair. I know. It's not fair. Me trying to learn how to play the bass as best I can. Then Matt showed up and he was like, oh yeah, you're doing pretty good, man. He just picks up. He starts slaying shit. I'm like, he's just like, what song are you doing? I'll just learn it. See, Matt is also a better guitarist than I am. Matt's been playing for so long.

And dedicate so much focus to it because like that's his outlet. Like he makes so much- he does the same thing I do with so many things. With everything he has fun with he finds a way to turn into a job. Which I did for so many things which is another reason I stopped streaming because I was like- I basically just turned- Just for fun now. Just for fun now. Wow! We didn't charge anyone. Like man.

What did you say at the beginning? When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. Thank you. He's at the back of a McDonald's soft serve machine. It's a good thing I still hate sucking dick. You gotta learn one day, Twitter. 20 lugs is 20 lugs.

And if you have to spend 20 bucks to suck a guy's dick, I mean, listen, they're the worst lives to live. Donut tips well, so. It's Batty's backup plan. Oh, man. Oh, cum. Yeah, we haven't mentioned cum. Have you guys heard of cum? Actually, we did, but it was before the cameras and microphones were on. Yeah, it was true. We did. Yeah, cum. Oops, sorry. Donut, can you give us a spiel about cum real quick? All right, so cum has as much protein as a handful of almonds.

That's true. How much cum? That's actually true. I don't know. I don't know. Like a Peter North tin roper might be an energy or like a protein drink, but your average size fucking load of cum has as much protein as this. I wouldn't start a protein company that just says Peter North cum. But no.

I own energy cum.com. I see. I'm not fucking with you. I don't know how true it is. The amount of times I've typed this into my fitness pal. And yeah, I'm like trying to check my macros and stuff. First off, it's not in there. But I think it'd be in there if we knew everything else is in there. Yeah. It's like it's like half a gram. I think it's like half a gram of protein per cum.

Per load, per handful, per rope. There has to be like a tablespoon, a milliliter. There's a measurement for this. How many quarts? What's metric, America's imperial? Hey, Benny, why is our episode demonetized this time? Why is it yellow? If I'm six foot, 220 pounds, how many quarts do I need to consume to reach macros?

I like how the YouTube reviewer isn't even gonna make it this far. And like, I've been quiet this whole time. Is it cum? Are we talking about cum? I know I need my fats and my carbs, so I'll like dip buttered bread into it. Buttered bread? Jesus, cum on your bread. Oh my god, this is... I just picture you going through the routine and you're like, toast. Minute 30, pops up, you put guac, salt it.

and then it's a solid like five minutes 30 seconds how many times are you last five minutes oh on a good day i was giving like the stretch of five girl you know what my favorite cum thing is freshwater jellyfish huh you ever come in the shower yes i'm so confused freshwater jellyfish i'm not a big joer of standing up

A big J-O-R? Yeah, you're jerking off. J-O-R! They're freshwater junkfish! I've never jerked off in the shower. You've never jerked off in the shower? I've absolutely jerked off in the shower. Standing up and doing that is very uncomfortable. I'm not like... This is not relaxing. I've done like the last couple steps. You know, when it's like someone else has done the work and then someone with better aim is required. Look at you aiming still.

When you're aiming for something in particular.

There's a little bit of spite involved. You're like, hey, enjoy the conjunctivitis, bitch. Conjunctivitis? It's when you eye goop. Eye goop. It's eye goop. I got you. That's some pink eye. Clear eye. I can't tell a story because it's not my story. I don't know. I'll tell you off this, but it's incredible. Because it's not my story, I'm like...

I don't, yeah. Can you replicate it with me? What if Eli was the girl? I know, well, I don't know the girl is the main thing. Perfect. I'm the guy. Eli's the girl. I'm not even, I'm not even. Let's reverse the Rosen show. You wear dresses more than me. Shut the fuck up. I'm going to be so vague about this. I know, I know, I know a guy or more specifically knew a guy

Oh, he's dead. He's passed. No, no, he hasn't. He isn't dead. I haven't seen him. Maybe he's dead. Maybe he's alive. Yeah, we don't know. This is a story of mystery. Because this could be anybody. And they were at... A restaurant? No, they were at a hotel. It could be any hotel. Any hotel. In the world. Definitely a hotel. In the world. A motel. He said hotel. Never mind. I can't tell you what hotel it was. I can't tell you. There were two trees involved. Who's the comedian? Okay. I don't know, but that was a good joke. He's dead? Mitch Hedberg.

Oh, you knew Mitch? No, no, that isn't in the stories, but that's in the joke. Yeah, it was the joke. My favorite comedian ever, by the way. So, he was with a girl. She was being a dickhead. So he waited until she fell asleep, put porn on, jerked off, cupped into his palm, just slowly...

glazed off of the top of her eye so that it's just dry while she's sleeping. In the morning, at the event they were going to, told everyone what was happening, but she didn't know, so she thought she had conjunctivitis. There's a picture waking up to this. And he's like, don't touch it, don't touch it, don't make it worse. Don't make it worse, leave it. Let me put salt on it. It'll break down the enzymes. Shit.

That's the hardest way we were ever going to end this podcast, I think. We set a new stage. Horde. Horde.

Come. And that's why you don't be a bitch. Thanks, Donut. Thanks for the cum, Donut. It was my time to shine. I gotta reel this back in real quick. Video games, no, no, no. Come. Yeah, hold on. Hey, with the whole metaverse and Decentraland and everything coming, how long do you think it's gonna take for there to be a full cum video game anyway? I wonder if we can get the podcast on Pornhub.

And you can literally just upload that. We can. Pretty sure you can just upload that. We talk about coming up. It's literally like YouTube. I would love if we explode on like Pornhub. That's our like Pornhub's reason. I'm not joking. I'm going to look at it. Didn't fucking... What's his name? The country singer who does all the songs about titties and pussy. I don't know anything about country singers. Oh, shit. I know...

Matt listens to it. Matt loves that guy. I've talked to him a couple times. I'm forgetting his name. He drops his music videos on Pornhub. Rodney Carrington? No. We'll figure it out. It's not important. I'm going to try to get unsubscribed on Pornhub. That's my goal for the week. Next week. Literally, I'm pretty sure you can just upload it and it's there.

yeah their ctr is super good too i also i also think it's like you don't have to no no we have to change the titles no no i know you don't have to upload porn on there because there is one amazing account on pornhub that i someone i'd seen online or someone had sent me i don't remember but it's literally a guy who no no it's literally a fucking guy by himself who does like forehead kisses and stuff he makes fun of the entire thing it's hilarious he's like a like

His shirt all the way buttoned up, no tie-in. Like, just mega dark, like, zero sexual undertones, period. He's a comedian. He's an actual comedian who just has an entire Pornhub show that's him just, like, for a kid, just, like, doing... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, like, pretends... He's, like... He's, like... He's, like... He's, like, nice boyfriend wakes up and makes breakfast or something. And he comes in, and it's, like, it's all POV, but it's, like, he's doing nice.

Yeah. The super nice homie shit. That's the level of porn I ain't ready for. Three American men surround British man. But it's on Pornhub. That's where he uploads it. It's hilarious. See, that's great. We can do that. That's easy. There's no nudity. There's literally nothing dirty about it. Three Americans. Tag team. Yeah. Englishman. British. Is it English or British? Both.

Yeah, can you do your English accent? British. You did the Hendo one. Let's... Nope. You're not going to do that in front of Danny? I started in here with doing that. It's terrible. Thank you for watching unsubscribed. We're ending this shit show now. Today, of course, as always, Eli and Donut and our very, very, very special guest, Danny Orson of Ask Alexandria.

I don't... If you made it this far, I apologize. You're welcome. Danny Battle Puss. Battle Pussy! And Batty Streams! Take your microphone! Because now we have to waste three minutes while you touch yourself!

And the camera's running. I've always said when you gotta go, you gotta go. But why would he start the camera? With masturbation. Oh, I mean, yeah, okay, fair. He should have brought the camera. Yeah. Viewers. Viewers. I mean, this is gonna be, so this little bit right here, this is gonna go at the end of the episode. And he's not gonna know. What?