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Okay, we're gonna do a magic trick. See, no donut. When I clap my hands, he's gonna appear. And now here's the donut.
Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe Podcast here. We're with Batty, Donut, and Eli Double Tap. Remember to like, subscribe, and comment below because we always forget to do this. So we're adding like a five-second segment. Yeah, wherever you're listening, whether it's on Amazon, Google, Apple, Podbean, Castro, or...
That other place, make sure you rate it. Do a rating of not four stars or three stars. The highest one. The highest number. All of them. All of the stars. Like Mario. I didn't know we were on Amazon. We are. That's cool. Are we? Yeah. Video? No. The podcast. I love we're in 31 and we're doing a commercial right now. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Do this thing. I cut my hand open and me clapping hurt a whole bunch.
- Okay, we got that. Okay, let me look at my phone. It says settings mode. - Here, keep your phone out so we know how long we've been doing this 'cause I don't have my phone where I usually track everything anymore 'cause you keep stealing it. - Dude.
Well, we're only on episode 30 with random changing cameras from episode to episode. 31. 31? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you missed 30. I did miss 30. Nothing happened. Honestly, it wasn't even that good of an episode. You only got Demo Ranch to curse. Yeah. Three times. Three times. Just damn it. Just damn it. He said, gosh, damn it, though. He said, on his own. That was of his own free will. Yeah.
If this is at the first minute, just make sure you bleep all the words because we can't have it. First minute cussing. Oh, man. Did you get him to say cum? I don't think he ever said cum. Dang it. But we talked about cum for you. Thank you. And we literally said that. Oh, yeah. We got to. Oh, wait. Oh, I got to do everything. We all mess it up. Cheers. We cheers it.
Batty not knowing how cups work. Was that not how everybody... Wouldn't that be the ultimate insult if you kill somebody and drink White Claw out of their skull? Oh my god! This is a big fuck you to do. I'm gonna order a human skull and I'm gonna turn into a cup and drink White Claw out of it. Wait, I have an actual skull around here somewhere. Like a real one? I don't think it's real. I don't think it's real.
I tried to buy one offline. You tried to buy a human skull? Yeah. Have you ever heard of a web site called... Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast! Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast! Oh, no. But going back to Silk Road. Where you can buy human skulls. Dark web still exists. Oh, man. Wait. Unsubscribe because you have a nasally voice right now. Oh, yeah. Do it. Hi, everyone. I can't even do a voice. Okay, anyway.
Hi everyone, Donut here. There's like an inch of pollen everywhere. I'm dying right now. It's not the koof. I wouldn't get koof tested this morning, so I wouldn't put anyone in danger. You can put me in danger, baby. I already do. Yeah, hi everyone. We have Eli Double Tap here. We have Batty Streams and I am Donut. And this is the Unsubscribe Podcast where we talk about cum. Video games.
We missed you last week, buddy. You were here with...
We had a small guest, but you probably didn't even know of him. Yeah, I haven't heard of him. He doesn't do a lot of podcasts, so it's like he's not even that big. I think it's like... That was like his third podcast ever. Destruction Farm. What's his name? I don't know. It was like Explosive House or something. Prairie Ranch. Yeah. Demolition Ranch. Demolition Ranch. I think he cooks. He does a lot of stuff with like ranch dressing. Demolition Prairie. Welcome to the podcast. Oh, man. I think that I missed that one.
I know. I was willing to hear him curse. I haven't even watched your own podcast yet. I'm going to go back and watch it. He drank. Yeah. Oh my. Yeah. He did like four. Matt's an alcoholic. Four white call. He did four in like an hour. One of us. One of us. Oh no. Fuck. Put the help. Substance abuse hotline now flashing across. But just put 420-69-69. One 420-69-69.
who has that phone number? That's a real phone number. A lucky person. Oh shit, that would be a real phone number. That would be a real phone number. He probably hates his life though. Whoever has that number, call us. Don't. We'll call them and see who has it. Don't. Everyone, we need you to, in your area code right now, put your area code and then do 426969 and see if someone picks up.
And in the comments below, leave us who answered. Yeah, let us know if you talked to Mr. 426969. Mr. 426969? I didn't know. The worst rapper name ever. I know, right? Yo, I'm Mr. 426969.
I hate. Oh, man. Well, we're glad you're back. What were you doing? No. Well, first off. Okay. Today's journey was great. We went and ate food. Oh. And donut. And I quote, at three o'clock said 20 minutes out. So we sat at the bar.
and waited at 340 I was like where you at bro at 345 he called he's like I'm a baddie that's the new donut sick he fucked up going to the bar oh man
So you know something's wrong with you. Something ain't right yet. I was so confused. We started laughing because we just ordered mimosas. We're like, oh, he's about to be here. We'll get some mimosas, which that place did do good. I didn't like him as much.
That's because it was nostalgia. Okay. No, the manmosas were not as good as eggs. They weren't. They weren't even close. And I had to suffer through. Yeah, those were not cups of vodka. It was like a shot glass, but it wasn't even a full shot. It was gross. It was like normal shots. It was like something a regular person would drink. Like a peasant. So in, I mean, you lived in Salt Lake for a while. That's where I was last week. Oh my God. Bro, okay, Patty doesn't know that I've never been to Salt Lake.
The shot thing? Yep. You can only get a shot if it's one ounce or one and a half ounce. You can't do doubles and you can't get a shot in a beer together. You have to do one of the and you have to have food. Yeah. And you have to finish your drink before they'll bring you another one.
Salt Lake City, Utah for everybody. No wonder why Utah viewers suck. Y'all are angry. Yeah, super angry. I forgot about that completely. Because BRCC moved up there originally together. And that was confusion when we went to our first. I remember Matt and I were like, why do these rules exist?
That's... But... Dude, I think the alcohol is watered down there, too. And it's machine. Did you see? It's all machine. Yeah, their pourers have... It's a liquor bottle. The liquor bottles have little electronic devices on them that measures exactly one or one and a half ounces. What? There's no drop. Yeah. There's no overpouring. A bar where they're responsible? This is disgusting. How did...
Next you're gonna say they call your Uber if you're drunk. Bullshit. I bet they cut you off at a reasonable amount too. This is horse shit. Guys, go get more manmoses. Put that help number back up on screen for us, please. This episode is just dedicated to being an alcoholic. Video game. That was every episode. Video game.
I don't know what you're talking about. Let's celebrate our habits. Oh, we should have done that. Oh, yeah. Happy Thanksgiving. Oh, shit. Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving. Go fight with your family tomorrow. Dude, yes. Talk. And remember, if you want a peaceful Thanksgiving with the family, these simple rules. Talk about religion. Talk about politics. And don't worry about boundaries. Yeah. Not at all.
Hit your grandma. She probably has it kind of. Dornit operator. Hit your grandma. That's my new favorite quote. Woman, grandma's assaulted on Thanksgiving. Unsubscribe. Main culprit. It's joke YouTube. We aren't inciting violence. That's how we lose the podcast finally. That'll be the one. Hey, where'd our monetization go? We just got it. It's gotta be something stupid. Cough on her. No. No.
Saw me another day was like my uncle used to ruin Thanksgiving with alcohol until he found Jesus now he ruins it with that Our favorite superhero No I Didn't even read the comments on that one. Yeah, they're good. They're good. I did feel like the first and everyone reaching out. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I
So Cody, what were you doing in Salt Lake? What happened? What was going on? You had a big thing. Yeah, a bunch of cool things. My PC sponsor, Zydex, the owner flew us out there, do a little stream, build us some computers. We shot machine guns in the desert and road razors around the mountains. And then we hung out with... It was fun, man. It was a great time. I was there with Brandon Herrera, Luke Rockhold, the UFC dude.
administrative results Houston Jones the bodybuilder that abuses his body the psychopath he's a psychopath so for his video while we were there he took a liver kick from Luke Rockhold twice yeah it was Rockwell or Rockhold
Rock cold. Luke Rock cold. What am I saying? Rock cold. It's rock cold. Okay. Luke Rock cold. Okay. Yeah. There's something wrong with that, man. Did he drop instantly? Oh, yeah. He crumpled. And then he got back up. No. I've never taken a liver kick. And I don't know. I've been punched in the liver. It doesn't feel good. Have you got where you dropped, though? Oh, bro. So you haven't. I've had like the doubled over. But I haven't fallen. Oh, yeah. I was going to try not to get kicked in the liver. With Luke doing it, that man can kick. Oh, yeah. Terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It was bad. But we had a good little week there. We hung out with Mr. Best, Mr. Matt Best out there around the same time. So we got to tour the BRCC facility. Oh, yeah. You haven't been to the Utah one. No, this is the first time. It was super cool, man. Hung out with Evan and Matt and all those guys. Yeah, dude. That's the OG. And you've seen it come a far way. I wish I had original pics. So that used to... The front was literally an office. So think of like an...
Like a shitty office space where you just like walk in and you just... It was... Let me think. Okay. You would walk in. It was a tiny square. You had one helping desk. And then it was just cubicles to the left, to the right. So how you see it is like a actual coffee shop. Oh, yeah. None of that existed. The floor was... It was an office. It looked like a shitty school building. Why did they start in Salt Lake? Who lived in Salt Lake to move it there? Yeah, man.
- So it's your fault. - That was bad. But yeah, that's man, is cam because it was a warehouse too with multiple companies. Oh no, okay. - Was there like a lot of different grass? - I forgot this was a different building altogether. Then we bought that building. Then we completely changed that buildings. Originally we started on a tiny, like this, it was literally about your size of place for BRCC back in the day. - Did you just make fun of my house? - No.
Yes. I think you did like a little bit, right? If I wanted to make fun of your house. Touch my ceiling, Eli. Did you see that? I can almost touch. You can't reach my ceiling. Oh no. This far from my TV. It was a little bit more than that, but it's fine. I don't think it was. Shut the fuck up, Eli. Tell your story. We were just. Eli, tell your goddamn story. Eli, tell the story. Okay, I'll tell the story after I just point out one of the key highlights of last week's stream. He hasn't seen it. Don't spoil it.
I was like, man, Batty used to be fat. And Demo, Matt was like, you're fatter. Dude, Demo was on fire. Stop laughing at that. Tell your goddamn story or get out of my house. I hate you. This is why you don't have any friends. He was on fire last week, bro. That's awesome. He was just fucking zinger after zinger. But yeah, it was a tiny place. Then we moved to the new place, uh,
And we built that one out. I remember even getting those floors, how the floors look now. It was completely different. It was a fucking process. That was like years in the making. It's super nice in there, man. Yeah. Now it's super fucking nice. And now they have that gym and everything attached to it. Oh, the gym's gnarly. Is that the gym I always see Logan working out in? No. Yes, maybe. Yeah, the old one in heaven. Yeah, he used to always be in there. Yes.
Yeah, it's pretty rad. And they have a live-in archery guy to fix all their bows. And they have an indoor archery range and an outdoor archery range. And Grizzly Forge is there, too. He's in there. Lucas. Lucas, yeah. Lucas is tall. Dude, Lucas is like 6'7". He's taller than Robert Oberst. That picture threw me off. Yeah, Lucas is a big dude. It's hard for me to feel small. When me and Lucas were hanging out after the music video thing, I was just like,
I'm just like, stop it. Just bend over a little. Do something. I didn't like it. He's way too tall. Every time I see Lucas, I'm like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. You can stack two of you on top of yourself. Oh, man. Yeah, check out Lucas's knife company, though. Grizzly Forge Knives. Oh, man. They make really, really cool stuff. Did you hear the story of how he broke his back? No. Yeah, so he broke his back like two years ago.
Like, well, he was, like, forging, so he had to... He was wearing a back brace and all this. He's came a long way, so they were moving a fucking gun safe. And then it fell back and fell on him. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. He had a safe fall on him? Yeah. And he didn't, like, crush his ribs and everything? No, his back just fucking shattered. I mean, I'll take just a broken back versus a broken back, shattered ribs, crushed, like, lungs. You know, your arrow, your face, everything. I mean, he just got...
Fuck, though. It's like a... However much... Yeah, it was fucking crazy. This is why you pay people to move your safes. Yeah, exactly. Disposable help. The last two times someone's moved your safe, you say it was sketchy as heck because of the size of the people moving it and how many there were. Last time it was like a 30-pound Mexican lady. Dude, it was... I think it was two children and a dad. When we moved the safe into this house, man, I was like, oh...
Oh, because they had like one of the truck ramp. They took the ramp off the truck because the truck had a lift. So they went from the truck to the ground easy. No problem. But they had the ramp that usually you put on the back of the truck to the ground. They put that ramp from my driveway up to my porch so they can skip the steps. But they still had to lift it like six inches onto the ramp.
and it was it was like one dude then a smaller dude pulling it and then this tiny tiny little lady was like good job guys good luck and she was just on the side of it like she wasn't doing anything she just had her hands on it like go team and i'm just like in there i'm watching them just failing not being able to get i'm like do you want do you guys want me to do you want me to push it real quick because i'm a foot and a half taller than all of you
Dude, they are brave. Because they pushed my safe up an actual ramp on their truck. And I was just like...
I mean, that's how they did it when I moved from Vermont to Texas. It was there was no lifts. It was all ramps. And the people who moved it from Vermont onto the truck was a veteran owned company called Grunts Move Junk. And they are the fucking greatest dude. There was one dude who actually I knew from high school who was a great guy, but he just fucking manhandled my 700 pound safe. So yours is 700 pounds.
that's a lot mine's 3 000 you're safe as 3 000 pound 90 minute rated i mean mine's 70 60 minutes but mine's a liberty though so like you add that but then how big yeah yours is also a wide ass safe yeah mine's that fatty so that's things the door they were like same thing they were like i was like you guys are gonna need like more probably people to move that thing and they're like bro i got it and i remember the older black gentleman he's like
I move safes all the time. I know how to do this. He was going to lift it back into like a rocker thing. He was like, go! Hernia. Didn't hurt much. He's like, I'm going to need multiple. Actually, let's take the door. That's why I told you. Take the door off. That door is like 400. I think it was like 400 or 500 pounds just for the safe door. On that rhino? Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. That's a hefty bitch. It's
So they like pulled that off, set it down, then move the safe in and carried the fucking door in. And they're like, OK, that's why you when he came over last week, he was like, you're safe staying in your garage. I was like, I fucking like four steps right here. I struggled one step for two hours moving in my old house. I was like, that's what I was moving. I was like, I refuse to look for another two story house for a to my old house with two stories.
and I refused to move my safe up a second floor and I wanted my stream room, the safe in the stream room. So I was like, I gotta find a one story house so I can just move that safe back and I put it in a closet. - Yeah, range style. - Speaking of streams, we did a stream. - Wait, did we do a stream recently? - Cody, you're carrying this podcast right now. You got the list. You're like bam, bam. We didn't even make a list this time. - Definitely had one last time.
charity chair ready stream what did we do Donut with your busted ass voice we streamed for the boot campaign an organization that helps veterans and veteran families and we ended up raising a lot of money the final tally was what 243,000 yeah
Yep. $243,000. And the first night that we did the stream, we were all together in Matt Best's garage. And we raised $160,000 that first night? $167,000. It was just shy of $170,000, I think. Okay. It was just shy. It was like $168,000, $167,000, something like that. Land party style. Yeah. There was seven of us in there. It was pure chaos the entire time. That was insane.
Absolute K. I remember because we had... Okay, we'll go. Bootcamping, as he said, phenomenal nonprofit. Even the board members... Alex, I'll link it when I do the YouTube. I'll link Bootcamping's site down in the description below. They're unbelievable. I love them. Yeah, they don't... Even the board members don't take a paycheck. So... And we set this...
Up every year without taking a paycheck. It's a lot of work goes into it. Um, and phenomenal giveaways from each and every company. And, uh, you can't fluid gaming's put in the computers. We had like, you have a seven computers, seven computers. And then we had, um,
The VFW gave us the monitors. Yeah, they gave us the VFW had had gaming monitors. Yeah, actually, you know, I went there today, dropped them off. OK, so you can tell the generations. They're not giving out fucking scotch and cigars anymore, which they were offering me when I dropped them off today.
- Nice. - Dude, it like, I walked in, I was like, oh, monitors go in this place. - Y'all want some scratchers to go? I was like, no, we'll take the monitors. - You walk in, it smells like a VFW. You're like, ah, there's that musky. - That old VFW smell. - This is- - That Korea smell.
this vfw has seen normandy like it was on the beaches and then they dropped that building off in san antonio so but i forgot it's like an open bar and every dude a pint is two dollars and 25 cents no no it wasn't it was uh the pitcher yeah the pitcher not a pint a pitcher i was like what the fuck oh yeah and they're just people drinking and smoking i was like
Cheers. Okay, I'm going to drop these monitors off because I got a shit ton of it. They're the ones that dropped it off. And then we had... But then it was just fucking chaos. And it was an awesome time. Who was in the garage with us? Who was in Matt's garage? Okay, I'm going to start. Okay, we had Donut in the back right...
They're at the top of the sea throwing chairs in the background because I remember. Literally yeeting chairs anytime anybody stood up. Scared me the first time. Terrified. People kept paying me to throw people's chairs. Charity stream. I'm getting a charity stream tattoo. I'm getting the rolly chairs that Donut was smashing on my thigh. And I'm going to spell charity wrong intentionally on my body. So it's spelled chair. Yeah. My favorite is like Donut's like, I'm going to throw your chair one more time. I was like, ah.
what is that? He's like, no, I'll pay for it. I was like, it's a thousand dollars. He's like, oh, I'm so sorry. He was like, yeah, exactly. He's like, someone else's chair. You eat this bitch. I was like, you're just throwing my computer at that point. He was just like, boom. I was like,
Oops. You were so excited to throw chairs though. I was like, yeah, Stone is crushing it. It was a good time. Then we had fucking Batty. Hi, it's me. Me, Matt, Clean, Brandon,
And then Nico Ortiz from TikTok. Is he one of those guys that from now on, like Matt, where it's always, yeah, Matt Best and Nico Ortiz. We have to say their last name when we say their fucking name. Well, I say Nico Ortiz because I have a Nico or I have Nico from Corridor. Corridor.
Yeah, Jeff. I fucking hate people. I have to say their full name. Nico's very high energy. I love you. He screamed for like 14 hours, didn't he? And the entire time he's screaming. No, he did longer. He did longer than that. And he took a nap for an hour because they paid him to take a nap inside his dick magazine. He made a giant dick out of all the mags. So Matt dumped a giant thing of Magpul mags all over the floor. It was like hundreds of mags on the floor. Matt has a 500 Magpul mags.
and nico made a giant dick sculpture out of the mags and then took a nap in the middle of said dick sculptures during the stream yeah you're allowed to sleep on stream it's okay as long as you say and they paid him handsomely to take that nap and that was when we were all gone or you might have been there i uh he took the nap after i left but he was he was he was getting a little tired when i because i bounced at 4 a.m i was it was me and nico at 4 a.m then i left
Matt Best came down at 11 a.m. and Nico was still going. Jeez, dude. Dude, that dude. Oh, guys, if you've never checked out Nico Ortiz, because I didn't. Batty knew him. I fucking had no clue other than I seen his Twitch following. It was a suggested Twitch following. And I was like, oh, shit, military dude. He was streaming. I was like, hey, blah, blah, blah. DM me. DM'd him on Instagram. He was like, oh, shit.
I was like, here's my phone number. He's like, oh, I don't give out my phone number. I was like, okay, that's fucking weird. You have a smaller follower than me. That's confusing. But...
Now, then I understood why, because we got on the phone. He's like, you know, fuck it. I don't care. And he called me and then we talked and I was like, oh, well, like you're doing good on Twitch, seeing your numbers. It was like a hundred viewers. And then his Instagram is like 70,000. I was like, fuck yeah, you're crushing bro. You're doing super positive. I was like, what else do you do? He's like, oh, my main is like TikTok and YouTube. I was like, oh, what are your TikTok numbers? He's like 2.6 million. I was like,
Now the not giving out your number wakes way more fucking sense. Nico has a lot of people on TikTok. It's, you know, where he exploded. He does the funniest fucking TikToks. He does mostly like...
The different branches. Like he'll do like how the Coast Guard reacts to going on a date, how the Navy reacts to going on a date, Army, Marines, Air Force. Then he added Space Force. And it's just the funniest fucking shit, mainly because all the Navy ones involve sucking dick. My dad's a Navy guy. So fuck you, dad. Suck dick. Yeah, he has a little hair clip.
- He always has a little, like a little bow. - Okay guys, guys, so first off, first off, I'm gonna stop you there. I'm gonna stop you there. It's like every time. But like, Nico's a phenomenal dude. It was great meeting him. 'Cause I've told these guys, we were, BRCC, Matt, and the guys we've been talking about that generational gap. 'Cause we're like a decade older than these guys. - No, you are. - I am. - You are. - 100%. - I am not. Donut is not. - He's been there. - I'm 34.
Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to help you out here, bro. I'm trying to make Eli feel old. I already feel old. I woke up in pain after that stream. And then, but he's a big gamer. He's that new generation of TikTok military guys because military
None of the BRCC, none of us know fucking TikTok. - No. - You don't know fucking TikTok. - We've been trying. - I mean, we do. We all do all right on TikTok. - I need to upload on there. - How many videos do you have? - On TikTok? I think like 12. - Yeah, I've had it for years now. Yeah, I got like 12 videos. - 40, 30, 30, somewhere around there. - Matty's really good though. I don't know what I'm doing. - Same. - Matty doesn't either. Did you see the video that went viral for him?
yeah he was like i'm opening an ammo can it's like 40 million views i'm like i hate yeah that was insane baddie just took an old russian ammo can that we were at a range day yeah and i had to open up one of the spam cans yeah and how many views was it it's at uh 5.7 it got picked up by the it got caught around 4.5 million views for a while and then the algorithm picked it up again like
last week and now it's at like 5.7 million views. Jeez, dude. Dude, and how much money did you make off of that? I'm now putting a credit program so I'm now making money off of it. Are you? You can make money on TikTok? Yeah. Oh, shit. I got invited to the credit program now because my video keeps getting picked up by the algorithm. It's the same video looping, so...
I'm a suck that dick. I quit after I tried to make a Tarkov meme three times in a row because I was showing the buttstock of a rifle they kept. Dude, I don't understand. I have videos of me shooting guns like my I have a slow motion Barrett video did fine. I have one of me mag dumping a Draco. That one got pulled. Then they put it back.
But I have another video of me shooting, I think a scorpion or my vector. I don't remember which one. And they're like, Oh no. Oh my God. It's the Panda video. Don't you remember when we shot the Panda? We turned a Panda into a suppressor. Yeah. Oh yeah. I put, so I have a video of me just walking around with my double barrel pistol going do, do, do, do, do, do it. I slap it forward. I murder a Panda.
I forgot TikTok's owned by China. Yeah. Oh. Pandas, China. Don't do that. Science. Science? But yeah, they don't... Guns are hit or miss. Yeah. I don't know how it works. Yeah, that's a roll the dice. But that's where, like, Nico blew up on that shit. He doesn't do any gun stuff, though, so... And he's smart for that, and now he's doing YouTube, and he's doing... Dude, Gray's shorts are amazing on YouTube. Yeah, and now we're bringing them on...
or were in talks with BRCC because it's that new generation. And he had the fuck, as you said, he had like baddie energy. That's how I felt. He's got baddie energy. Absolutely. He's got the same crackhead shit I do. I loved it. Me and him were just yelling at each other the entire night. Yeah, I know. Trust. Sorry, guys. We had him throwing chairs. We had you and Nico yelling. I was just making fun of other people's communities. I'm like,
I'm raising more money than you. - Were you though? Eli, were you raising more money than me? - Batty beat everyone. How much did you raise, Batty? - $55,000.
I hit 10 and I was done. It's too fucking late. You literally, you were like 10. Peace out. And then everyone, like every, we had 25 streamers. Everyone crushed it. Other than chocolate. Yeah. Chocolate operators. What the fuck, bro? He bought like the bar around.
And like a medium sized bar. We were doing so good. And then chocolate showed up. He was like, you know, you know what? The test, you have the bell curve and everyone's like, oh, we're going to do great. The curve's helping us. And then chocolate showed up and you're like, oh, I only got a D. Thanks chocolate. Yeah. Chocolate. This is everyone go on chocolate's last Instagram post and just be like, way to go on the charity show.
We love you. I live with the man. I live with him. Oh, man. Does he pay you more in rent than he raised for charity? I'm going to go to him and be like, where's that $150,000?
I love you, chocolate. I'm sorry. It was good, though, man. It was great having you guys out. Everyone crushed it. I was so happy. And thank you to the entire Twitch community, the gaming community, the veteran community, and the streamers and the sponsors that put that on. Because we had a good fucking time. And we were supposed to talk about it on last week's podcast. Yeah, we forgot. Completely spaced.
We wrote this down. Discuss charity stream first. Oh, no. We were literally, we were just screeching about Demo saying the word shit. We're like, what? Forgot to say, oh, yeah, we're doing a huge, important charity event that we do every year for vets and their families. But, you know, whatever. Literally in three days, it's fine. Here's Demo cursing. Yeah, this is way better than vets. Fuck vets. Fuck all that money we raised for them. Damn.
batty how's your relentless search of that shiny pokemon going i am just playing pokemon brilliant diamond right now it came out on friday gamestop fucked me in the ass and didn't send it to me till monday because they hate me and uh i actually haven't played more than four minutes of the actual game so guys but how many hours have you put in probably close to 20.
20 hours guys and he is four minutes into the story so in pokemon games you can uh do this thing called soft resetting at the beginning of the game to try to get a special version of your starter pokemon in this case a shiny starter so it's got a different color scheme it's literally the same fucking thing it's usually worse because you're not rolling for stats at that point and uh it's just shiny
And unfortunately in this game for you to do this little soft reset thing, it takes about a minute and a half, about 90 seconds, 85 seconds, 70 seconds, somewhere in there. And that's how long it takes you to do a single soft reset. So I'm doing like 30 of these an hour, just resetting, starting over. I'll pick my Pokemon. I choose you Turtwig and your normal trash. And I throw it away and I restart my game.
And I've been doing that since Monday. It's Wednesday. Imagine buying a game and not put. Yeah. Who would ever do that? Every one of you motherfuckers has a steam library over a hundred games. Fuck you. I know you have 400 games. You ain't touched.
I'm coming for you in the comments! I do that so much. I know. Every time the holiday sale, I'm like, I'll play this one day. I'll play this one day. How many games do you think you have in your Steam library you haven't opened? Bro, at least 200. I have a 17-year badge on Steam. I've had Steam for 17 years. You have a fucking OG fucking badge. You have one that's three months older, but fucking a badge that has three years difference in it. Yeah, that's so weird. That's trash.
So trash. I love it. So yeah, that's all I'm doing is just soft resetting this Pokemon game. And I, I want to play this game so bad. I've been waiting for this game for like, I for like two years, a year and a half just wanting to play. And I can't, and I can't cause now I'm so committed to doing this stupid fucking shit. And I know the worst part is I know once I get this shiny turtwig, the leaf starter, I know once I get it, it's going to be awful. Yeah.
I'm not worried. I'm not going to accidentally suffer to soft reset on the battery dies. It doesn't matter. Dude, for when a switch goes, uh, goes to battery dies, it goes into low power first and says you have to plug it in. You can't play anymore. It's fucking amazing. Honestly, the switch is great about its power. Oh, I love the switch. Um, and to soft reset a game on the switch. It's not like an instant one button key. It's like a chain of events where it's like this, this, this. Okay. Now it's a soft reset. Start over.
For me to accidentally fuck that up, it would be... It's just not going to happen. It's just the odds for a shiny Pokemon on Brilliant Diamond are 1 in 4,096. 1 in 4,096. And that's just your odds. It could go longer. Yeah. You've come this far, man. You can't quit now. I mean, I'm probably... Don't encourage his name. I'm probably 400 to 500 soft resets in. Yeah. Yeah.
That's it. We need to buy it and hopefully like either of us. It's both of us. It's like one, one. It's our first time starting it. Just texting Batty. Yeah. I would throw up. I would vomit profusely. Batty's building a noose over here.
Me and Eli were watching guy on Twitch earlier today who is doing the same thing for an older game SoulSilver And this motherfucker was playing an emulator version and on emulators your save files are usually your F keys F 1 2 3 and all you gotta do is hit F1 and it boots right back to save you don't have to save you don't have to choose your low you have to restart the game you say F1 to boot so it's a really quick way to soft reset Yeah, cuz with emulators you can you can do that
You can make save points wherever you are. It was only like 10 seconds in our 50. It was like 15 seconds to get as new. Oh, dude, it was like five or six. It was very quick because with emulators, you don't need to save...
in game you don't need to go you can save on the emulator so you can save at any point yeah like this game would be a lot quicker if i could save on an emulator because i could save right before i talk to the bag where it shows the pokeballs and you open it but no i have to sit through 70 seconds of dialogue so you can skip all that with emulators and this guy was sitting there and he burns through like three resets he's talking about his subs like oh thank you for the sub new pokemon rolls and he goes through all three shiny cinder quill it's a gen 2 starter yeah and he just well
reset and then he just screams stands up and runs fuck oh so he was just used to yeah oh habit he just burned through it having been doing it for hours oh runs off of stream you hear him just I'm an idiot I'm stupid fuck fuck I'm like for you to do that on a switch like it's not gonna happen it'll be fine
Jesus. What a kick in the dick that is. Honestly, man. God, I love Pokemon. I have this fucking old Pokemon line, like missing number, Mewtwo, Mew. We've talked about the Mew truck so many times on the podcast. That is so...
I'm gonna be able to get a Mew. Are you? Yeah. So with a lot of newer games or special events and things like that, where you can get all the weird legendaries currently right now, if you have saved data on your switch from one of the older games, specifically, let's go Pikachu or Eevee, which is one of the early gen switch ones. You can get be you're given a free Mew.
like second town in the game like level five or some shit yeah so they're making it so you can get all those weird legendaries that those pseudo-legendaries that are in games like
Um, everyone's suggest or, uh, speculating right now when the, the new open world Pokemon game comes out and I think February or January legend of Arceus. Oh yeah. They're going to release an Arceus event cause you haven't been able to get Arceus event and Arceus in game for like generations now. So open world. Yeah. An open, we're talking breath of the wild Pokemon Elden rings. What about Elden rings?
Elden Rings open world? Have you seen it? No, I've heard a lot of big, big streamers have had access to it, to their closed alpha, but they got access to out. Have you seen Elden Rings? What's his name? Sacrile got access and fucking Anthony and Tony, you motherfucker. I know you're not listening to this.
Maybe he likes this and it's... I'm going to yell. I'll fucking yell at him on Twitter. But he got access and he posted a video of him loading into the game being like, can't stream it, but I'm going to make a video later. Piece of shit. Elden Rings is in Demon's Souls Dark Souls.
but with made with george rr martin the fucking dude that made game of thrones game of thrones and the original team and have you watched the new gameplay of it nope is it an rpg or is it like right no it's a rpg oh is it yeah my bad it's open world rpg holy fuck the world is like breath of the wild because i was surprised at the the scale of the open world and it was like yes the
When they're explaining it's like, "Yeah, it's the normal Demon's Souls, Dark Souls." You played any of those? Was there anyone called "Demon's Souls"? They were all Dark Souls or... Demon's Souls was the very first one. Oh, I thought it was just Dark Souls. No, Dark Souls is the one where it's like the boss fights are super hard and people like beat 'em with sticks sometimes. You roll everywhere. Yes. So that's Dark Souls. And Demon's Souls was the very first one. I didn't know that. Okay. Demon's Souls was a Korean released game or Japan.
You are so fucking weird with how you remember this shit. Dude, that was my... Because I got it because it was a tiny release in America in the original. And everyone, I remember, Fires of Heaven. Nerd forums was like... You shout to Fires of Heaven forums. Yo, my boy's fucking... This is the part where we talk about games Donut doesn't know about? Yeah. No, you... I don't know either. It's okay. I've played Dark Souls. It's fucking hard shit. First of all...
That's all I've ever done at home. Dark Souls 3, first boss. Only thing I've ever played with Dark Souls. That's it. Same here. It was Dark Souls 3. It was on sale. One of the holiday sales. And I was like, everyone plays it. I'll give it a try. I hated it. Fucking hated it. And then you see the people playing it with like the Dance Dance Revolution pads. Dude, actually, one of Laurie's friends...
One of his friends is a full-time Dark Souls streamer. He does no-hit runs. His name is Brightmares on Twitch. Amazing content creator. Dude's fucking cool as hell.
He does like no hit runs or one hit runs or whatever. He speed runs through Dark Souls games. Like he did. I remember watching Dark Souls like one through three no hit straight through all of it. I was like, bro, you masochist. What is wrong with you? Tweak's really good at him. Yeah, Tweak loves him. Like what was the... Is it Call of Sekiro or just Sekiro? The Sekiro. Yeah.
Yeah, that was another one that just came out. And that one, Tweak was obsessed with. Fucking hard. These games, dude, make me... I don't even want to watch people play them because I hate it. The brutality in those games because I'm used to that old Nintendo life. It's fucking awesome. It's fucking hard as shit. Demon's Souls...
I didn't realize this. And like those games, especially this is PS2. I think Demon's Souls came out on PS2. No, PS3. It was original PS3. Maybe I have to think it's 2009 or 10.
God, you're sold. And that was... You have your, like, I'm alive, and you can resurrect yourself, or you can just continue the game with half health and play the game with half health, and you're dead in your soul mode. Oh, shit. So if you resurrect yourself, though, you have full health, but if you die again, then you're back to half. If you resurrect yourself and you die...
a hard difficulty meter like marker onto the game so it can go plus five hard difficulty or just stay at normal or plus five negative. I forget how to get the name and make it easier. I didn't know that because they don't fucking say that in the game. I was like, why am I dying by everything at this point in the game? It was like a dog bite me. I'm like, I was getting really good at the game. I was like,
I was such a spooky dog. It's just like stabbing stuff. You're like just stabbing dogs. Yeah. Demo Matt V2 over here. Bro. I think the game's fucking hard as shit. Um,
blast i beat that all the way through and i i played it through a new game plus which is the harder mode fucking insanity the new game elden rings elden rings bro when they were on the mountainside so it the main character on the game the new gameplay trailer that released two weeks ago it's like walks up to the cliff edge and then looks out and they were fucking like two glowing trees mountains and
and everything as far as I can see. And then he opens the map and it is a tiny portion of this fucking map that then he scrolls up and you just see how big the world is. Oh,
This is all open fucking world. So he gets off, starts riding the horse. And you see this big monster just fucking chains in its back, like dragging these other creatures. Rides past us. Then a giant dragon flies down and like he misses it. Fucking he starts fighting it. I'm like, what the ever living fuck? Okay, but is this going to be a Dark Souls style game where I'm not going to want to play it? Oh, it's so difficult. Brutally hard. God damn it.
100%. Dude, let me play the Witcher on easy mode again so I feel good at video games. I forgot yours is like difficulty. I love stories.
I love story whenever I get any game. Like granted, I've done like, you know, Knights of the Republic on the harder settings. But the first time I've played through like these super, super story driven, intense games like that, I almost always will play a normal or a step down because I just want to enjoy the story. I do not care about how difficult the game is. I want to see you play. I'm old now.
What was the game with Hideo Kojima and walking? Fucking goddamn pack mule simulator. Yeah. Pack mule simulator. Oh, UPS man. Delivery. Oh shit. Oh no. Oh man. What is that? It's with all the, all the,
Death Stranding Death Stranding I would love watching you play on the easy because Hideo literally put in a baddie mode which is you don't fight bosses you don't do anything it just plays the story you're like walk
And you get to a boss who's like, he dies instantly or something. And it's just a story. Okay. Okay. I don't go in the easiest mode, but I'm not going to lie. I love, I love story driven games, so I don't care. It's like a movie that you're helping play through. I'm okay with that. I'm always normal. I'm not the dude that's like, I'm playing. I'm playing sushi ghost on normal.
Yeah, sushi goes on horrible. Which is, there's some hard fucking fights in normal. Dude, I spent so, I remember, we talked about this 8,000 times already, but I remember how long I spent fighting that first boss because I didn't want to lose. And then no matter what you lose, and it was bullshit!
You still need to play Sushi Ghost. I haven't even touched Sushi Ghost yet. Speaking of 200 Steam games, Donut has... Oh, I have so many. There's way more than that, probably. Every time there's a sale, I'm like, oh, a dollar? Let me get that. I just picked up Forza 5. Forza Horizon 5. Dude, I don't know. I have it in a very... I used to love racing games.
twitch gave it to me for free i have no idea why or how i was just sitting on my twitch dashboard the other day and you have like notifications for we're like well your amazon prime gaming shit shows up randomly yeah i clicked that and it's like redeem forza horizon 5 for free on steam i'm like oh it's probably like a demo back when the beta dropped opened it no i have the full ultimate edition of forza i have no idea why twitch gave it to me i don't ever i never i haven't i've never played a racing game on twitch hmm
But they gave it to me and now I have it. And honestly, it is fucking beautiful. I played it for like an hour and a half the other day just because I was bored. It's open world, right? Yeah, it's like the I say the original Horizon, but it's where you drive around. Like, I think the original Horizon was on like an island like Hawaii or some shit. And you just drive around fucking race. People do events. Then you get to a spot where you can do like a legit setup race and
But like the intro to this game was beautiful like it shows like an old c130 and then it drops your car out the back of the fucking plane and shit like it was actually it was a lot of fun and it's visually fucking beautiful I don't know how you plan it. I know because I won't play a racing game with the controller I think it's sacrilegious. I cuz I don't want to buy an iRacing setup Eli that costs $4,000. Oh yeah that's true. Well I mean I originally was playing on my keyboard and mouse
oh man racing i wonder if jt has it yet because jt has that big racing oh yeah you can sit in that simulates uh power steering and shit uh summit just got a setup like that with like 4 20 or 37 he has a racing dude he's been into it holy shit yeah someone's got an insane race i would crush him at that that is the one thing i will 100 i can beat him at that
You should go stream at JT sometime and do that. Because that is the only thing I'm like, boy, the racing sims and everything is the one thing I can be like, I can crush anyone so loud other than the top...
I was the top 250 world at a racing set. Yeah, but this was when you were young Eli, not old and lazy Eli. Yeah, but this was like 20 years ago. 20 years ago. This was like a decade ago. Yeah, this was 20 years ago, Eli. But I was still fucking the top 200 in the world, bro. That's a hard time. And I got a couple world... How many world records you got, Batty? None, Ray. I got none. How about you? You got none? I don't have any world records. We're both taller than Eli. It doesn't matter.
My genetics didn't get world records. Guys, again in the comments, let us know if you hold any world records of anything. I'm interested to know. Oh, that's actually... Because I'm trying to think if I... I wonder if I do hold a world record in something. It's those hard questions when you look back, because I remember... I thought I was like the best fighting game player ever back when I was younger and played Street Fighter. I mean, in your group of friends, you might have been, though. Oh, I was a fucking big fish in a tiny pond. Yeah.
And then I started playing like- The stupidest thing you've ever fucking said! And then I started playing tournaments and was like, "My friends were trash! They didn't train me for this!" Didn't blame myself, blamed my shitty friends. God damn it. iRacing was the other- like, I was playing against all the top players in the world. I was like, "Okay, I'm actually like good at this fucking shit."
Damn. No, I'm sitting here trying to think, like, I've been really, really good at... What is the game you've been, like, a pin... What is your pinnacle game? Always hardest game mode and you're still just kicking ass. CSGO. I was really fucking good at CSGO. Like, 1.6 or, like, 7... Source, uh...
No, that CSGO with the new. Oh, the new. Oh, oh, oh, like, oh, actually said it would practice that. What was your rank? I don't remember. I was not a silver and I was not the one after silver. I don't remember. But I was I was pretty fucking good at CSGO. We like plat diamond.
globally i haven't played it in like four years don't say i was bronze rank three when i was younger though day of defeat not day of defeat source oh shit there's a game i haven't heard about a long time i was fucking a monster at that
And Source. They came out with DoD Source when they released Half-Life 2, and I was amazing at that, too. I can remember those old maps on Dave DeVeet. Yeah, I can remember Dave DeVeet, to be totally honest. Holy shit, that's a... That's a classic. Have they released a Dave DeVeet game any time? Like an update? No.
No, they had Day of Defeat, which was the Half-Life 1 engine, and then they did Day of Defeat Source. Yeah, Source was the last one. That one was still really good, man. That was a good high-speed World War II type game. Dude, the new games, if we can just rant about video games for like 10 minutes before we close out. Playing Battlefield 42. Sorry, I almost threw up. The new COD is...
Vanguard? Call of Duty Vanguard's awful. Oh yeah, I played that at Zydex, the thing. And I was like, this fucking game is garbage. You get a shotgun and you run around and just blast people. That's what we found out. We were putting slugs in it, shortening the barrel. Yeah, you just do hip fire and just run and kill everyone. Dude, if there's one mod, there was one setup that a streamer found. It's like, if they were on the screen...
It would kill him. Like, he's like, I don't even have to look at them. And he's just running around getting, like, 10 kills, 12 kills, 15 kills. And he's like, like, Batty and you are here. And I'm like, boom! And you're, like, dead. So he's just running through teams just auto-firing us. I hate. Yeah, because there's the auto-shotgun. Yep. And you get it all at the beginning of the game. There's not, like, stuff you have to unlock. You can just start modding shit right away. And then you're a grant. And this is the new... I don't know, like...
all the game I don't know how first AAA studios can fucking suck a dick this year they don't care about making game all they care about is is like how much money can we milk out of a motherfucker as soon as possible yeah like yeah you had cyberpunk which shit the bed
You can't say the game on release was a fucking AAA. This was perfect. I mean, it wasn't perfect. No game is perfect on release anymore. That's not a thing anymore. That's the issue. But when you're like glitched out and... I had zero issues playing Starbuck. I played Starbuck like 30 something hours. I had zero issues. I played it live on Twitch. I had not a single fucking issue. Really? Not a single. I went back and played it again.
I think I actually had one graphical itch, glitch, like seven hours into my second play and then I just saved it, rebooted the game and it was gone. As much trouble as, I heard all the major issues were on console. - Which I didn't even try that.
I had no I loved Cyberpunk at launch I played the fuck I granted I stopped playing it wasn't because I didn't enjoy the game it was because I have to play Tarkov for a fucking living because Twitch but I went back and played it again and I had a ton of fun I might go give it back what were you saying no I was gonna say it's like turning into a pattern too with how they get you to buy the game they get celebrities in there
There's no telling how much godly amount of money they're paying them that they could be putting into the game because they're acting. They're actors. They're acting in the video game now. So they're paying millions and millions and millions of dollars they could have put into the game. Cyberpunk, it was Keanu. Yeah, I mean, for sure. I understand exactly where you're coming from, granted. Yeah. Yeah, Far Cry. It was Gus. Oh, yeah, that's right. Chicken Man. And you had, I mean, you weren't even, as you said, spoilers. Fuck your spoilers. The ending sucks.
Yeah, the ending sucked. Spoiler, this is a spoiler for Far Cry, the new Far Cry. You don't even fight the end boss. He kills himself. He kills his son and then he kills himself and he falls over dead.
Super great. Love it. Love it. Battlefield fucking trash donkey of a... I fucking was screeching how much I hated Battlefield when it launched. Did you watch the new donkey video? I just showed Batty. I have it. Oh, not a word, dude. He didn't even say a word. He just compared the trailer to the gameplay. It's three minutes and 30 seconds. It is...
I was laughing. Nailing back into the cross, dude. He doesn't say anything. Not a single word. The top comment is Batty Burr.
Burr, the top comment is not donkey burnt this game to the ground without saying a single word. Oh God. And you're like, it's so good. The ending dude, the last 30 seconds is fucking amazing. You're going to love it. Go everyone. Go watch the new donkey battlefield video. Like this man murders them. It's and he did. And it's such a trash and they didn't fit. And people always expect, I remember talking to Callie and Zach's.
Because they were like, wait three, six months. It'll be fine. No. Well, no. They said, well, this is beta, Eli. You have to remember. And I was like, I don't give a fuck anymore. I was like, I learned from Final Fantasy XIV, or XIV, beta, just because it's two weeks, three weeks out, it's not going to change the game to be a good game. It's still going to be trash. And literally what had happened was it was fucking garbage. The only game that recovered from beta to launch was Doom.
Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah. Doom had an awful, awful beta. That's when I think we talked about it when fucking homeboy, um, who's the guy that the British guy that died. Did we talk about this on podcast? No, we do. We do this guy that, uh, he's a YouTuber. He always talks about, um, he died of cancer a couple of years ago. Um,
the i don't know i know you're talking about yeah i forget his name fuck he's phenomenal youtube creator just can't remember his name no um any millions of followers just can't remember his name no super great guy just can't remember not because i'm eli fucking one or two id blubs and um literally he did a release or he did a video about doom beta 2016 or whatever year it came out and he was like just gave
like he was like this sucks blah blah blah trash doom releases actual game two weeks later he posts a video at midnight that day and he was like i'm gonna apologize to the team that made this game because when that doom dropped it was fucking amazing he was like i didn't want to sell yeah he was like i didn't think they would fix all this in two weeks but holy shit they've listened to everything everyone said and corrected it yeah it is
Cause it was fun. Like apparently on the, uh, the beta, it wasn't as fast paced. It was slow. It was super slow. And then the healing and all that wasn't incorporated. And then they incorporated it during, um, the actual launch. They're like, Oh, we got to fix this shit. Let's, let's figure out how. And it turned out. That's really cool.
don't you love it when like these companies listen to their customer base that's really cool you crazy i don't know how at this point in 2021 it's still a issue where you don't have like gaming companies or any company that's not listening to their customer base like you can ignore one-offs like
you have your extremists or whatever and then ignore them but and the general fact when you're looking at a video game and you're like is this fun if i pick up a control and i'm like this is fucking stupid like battlefield 2042 if i kill baddie in that game i'm like and i run and pick up your gun and it's your gun but everything stripped off of it you have a shitty game oh
yeah, that's true. Cause you got to add the attachments at the start of the match. And every time you have to, to, so it doesn't save your, Hey, what, what just generally does this person use? Every single game, pick up the gun that was the, the, the mods that the dude you killed had on it.
Can't do that. I know. But that's why it's like. Yeah. What? The simple fact that I can't build a pre-built weapon. It's like a preset. And I'm like, why does it lose everything? I remember when I picked up Donuts AR one time, the sight fell off it. The muzzle brake fell off it. His buttstock fell off it. The extended maggy head and it just fell out. It was wild. I was like. And then a grappling hook came out of his belt.
yeah i forgot i had my and i zipped out his window to jerk off flying around in a circle at 180 fucking miles an hour baddie i forgot to tell you they didn't fix the oh i know the foot pedal button's not fixed yet yeah oh jesus like that was the first time my stream playing with zex and them i was like let's fucking play go into the game so he doesn't know what we're talking about um right now if you have any kind of
extra hotkey or controller plugged into your PC. So a game pad, like a lot of people don't use keyboards. They'll use game pads. They'll use a foot pedals for push to talk, things like that. Extra mouse, mice, or whatever, any kind of USB interface that creates a hotkey for a specific key on your keyboard. When you plug this in and you're playing battlefield, it just breaks. It breaks the game. It breaks your game, whether it's vehicles, your gun, whatever. It just shit is broken.
just ruined and that was a big issue in the beta like yeah we know we're aware game launches still fucking broken yeah i played the beta 10 minutes after it came out and i locked in it was like and i look over and the guy next to me is doing the same thing and then there's a guy down the hill doing the same thing and i'm like what the fuck is happening i reloaded i fucking restarted the match like 10 times and still doing it until i finally was like it's got it there's a hotkey somewhere there's gotta be something yeah something's caught i'm
Stop doing it. I did that because launch happened. I was like, sweet. I was like, hold on, Zach. We're going to fucking turn all this shit off. I was like, let's go. He's like, get in the vehicle. We're going. I was like, let's go kill guys. Jumped in the back for the minigun. He's like, let's go. I can't turn it off, Zach. I'm so sorry.
Just fucking mowing. At least that when I got into a vehicle, I tried to get into a vehicle to drive. Oh yeah. You can't drive. You can't move. Your vehicle is just like, you can turn the wheels left and right, but there is no acceleration or reverse. And you can, you can't, you can't even get out. You had to switch seats and then get out. It was,
I have so much now. I want to... I could just like fucking badge. Halo. Side note, it's supposed to be fucking phenomenal. I've heard nothing but good things. Yeah, we need to play Halo. Nothing but very, very good things. Just a new Halo? Are they remaking Halo? No, Halo Infinite. They released... It's a new one. Yeah. So they released the multiplayer for free. Yep. What? Dude, yeah. They were like, here you go. Everything's free. The campaign's gonna be 60 bucks, but the entire game is free. I love the campaigns. Dude, the multiplayer, completely free and every... Dude, like...
Everybody's screeching about how much they love it. The only negative reviews are it takes a long time to level up for XP. That's the only complaint. That's it. I'm like, you know what? I'm okay with that. Cool. And fucking Dr. Disrespect, you lucky motherfucker. He got his own. He got a fucking Spartan suit in his color.
It's got hair coming out the back. The fucking... Oh my god. That's the first time I've ever been jealous of a gamer person. I was like, I want a fucking Spartan suit. That's like... What are they just gonna chop it off at the knees and shrink it down? Put a sombrero on it. I'm the one over here and just talking to Donut.
You ever seen a Spartan under fucking seven feet tall? Nah, me neither, bud. What are they going to do? Look at this six foot tall Spartan pussy. Yeah. And everyone would play me because it's like the odd job. I'm hard to fucking shoot. So fuck you, Ryan. It's the odd job of fucking Spartans. I can't hit him. He's so short. He's under the fucking shot block.
God damn it. Just fucking ninja chops. I'm like, ah, yes. I hate it. I hate it so much. Everyone would play that one. Everyone would play that. Batty's hitbox would be giant. Oh, fat jokes? Fat jokes, Eli? Are you going with the short jokes? Fucking original Batty. Original Eli. Episode.
And 31! Here we are! We're still duking out and Cody's like, look at my cute face though. Yeah. You're so beautiful. Do we have anything else? Is that it? Is that today? Halo. We gotta play Halo and everything. We gotta jerk each other off. We gotta play Halo. Fuck Battlefield. That's it. Do you have any cum updates? Yeah, we said black cum for Death Stranding. Yeah, Death Stranding. The black drippy cum. Black cum. The black cum eats you. Black drippy cum. Yeah, I got it. Don't worry. I got our cum update in. I got the cum. I...
Next podcast I'm going to bring like... I just heard black come. I was like, when did we talk about this? When did chocolate come on the podcast? Earlier when he raised $150. I don't know why this podcast is going to be like chocolate. So is it white or... It's like chocolate milk. Don't put that in the comments below. Canceled.
Eli, sign us off because donuts suck. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Yeah! Oh, no. A little banter in your eyes. When you run out of topics and you just make shit up. I got to go make a video. Oh, yeah. Okay, so sign us off. You sign us off. What? You do it.
Oh, that was Batty's voice. Hey, guys, thank you so much for tuning in with another unsubscribe button episode with the fucking donut operators, the Batty streams, and Eli underscore double tap.
Thank you for this trash donkey. Patty, don't give me those fucking eyes. I didn't say anything. Those sex eyes. I didn't say anything. Because I want to fuck eyes. The only thing my eyes are saying right now is I want to go soft reset Pokemon game. You get better. We love you. I'm good. It's not the coot. I got checked. So Vix has these vapor pucks that you put in your shower.
and the steam a vapor puck yeah you just put it in the shower and it dissolves you put it in the floor and it like makes your shower oh my god it just opens up your shit that's so amazing i could have used that well i'm talking to the mic like the podcast is gonna care about this like guys fuck if you want to add that to the podcast you can't there's our vix vapor ad spot we're taking a pee before we log off
