Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
We need one spot. Ready? Halloween clap. We did it. Guys. Hold on, Eli. Hold on. Don't. He's got to finish putting his costume on. Happy Halloween, everyone. Happy Halloween. This is an episode you're getting. You're probably going to want to watch versus just, I mean, if you're listening, fuck you. Well, we have the thumbnail.
We have Squid Games Donut Operator. Oh, wait. Okay. Cue us in. I can't feel my brain. Most people who listen to our podcast can't feel their brains either. No blood flow going to my head. Ready, donut? Do it. Start it. He just passes out. Boom. Like, oh, God. It's a really tough costume. Call the Ambalamps.
Hi everyone, Unsubscribe Podcast here. Hi everyone, welcome to Unsubscribe Podcast featuring Eli DoubleFap.
Daddy streams in the donut squid games. Yeah, donut your squid games. So we have our costumes on, yeah. Grand Wizard. I am the wizard from the original dozens. Don't call me Grand Wizard. No! Isn't that what you're going for? No, it's the original Dungeons and Dragons DM, Dungeon Master Wizard from the cartoon from like the fucking 80s.
Nobody? I was gonna be- it would've been awkward showing up as a drow and then him a grand wizard over there. Oh my god, you- You in- we're gonna call it "Drow Face"? Yeah, "Drow Face." And then Donut is wearing a child's squid costume. Yeah, Squid Games, dude. Squid Games. It's relevant. Haven't seen it. It looks so uncomfortable. It's a squid. Are you- how are you- are you okay? No, this hurts really bad. You have tube arms at the top now. They're actually- Oh my god, it's so-
This is smaller than here. It's like, I can see the blood getting cut. There we go. It's better now. Yeah, that was the problem. That was the issue. Fix his other side, Eli. Fix him. Give him a little rippy rip right there. I think you should just wear the hat. Just give him a little rippy rip. It's fine. Oh, yeah. See? We're gonna die. Where's your knife at? We'll just do a sleeve cut in there. Yeah, just cut it off him.
You just put the hat on, we'll be good. Squid games. Squid games. Yeah, just tear the fucking squid off. Oh, it's... We'll do the squid. I'll have a cape. I'm crying, dude. I'll be like... Yeah, he'll just be a bat, like Robin. He's so... He's so unhappy. He's so... Kill me. Kill me. There. So, what are you, Eli? What are you wearing? I am...
Also, just found this out, this is why it was $30. Oh, your lights up! His costume lights up! It has a light on it. Didn't know that. Is it like some Mortal Kombat ninja shit? I am a ninja? That's undead. I feel like having lights on your ninja costume is the opposite of what you want. Why do I have my femur showing? Oh, these are knee pads. No, these are femurs. Koki, what are you doing? It's still too tight on the head. No! No!
Welcome to Shishimi. Donut is making sushi.
Sushi Ghost. As you can tell this is Hollywood episodes really kicking off Hollywood. Holly... Halloween? Halloween? Hollywood. Hollywood. Welcome to the Hollywood episode of Unsubscribed! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers, White Claw. Dude, we got... This might be, and I'm gonna jinx it now, the first episode where nothing goes wrong.
I think it's still recording so we're good. It should all be good. Or it's gonna end and we're just gonna be like, "Oh, that didn't record at all." It didn't work at all. It's okay. It's fine. Two options here. So the last episode, what ended up happening for everybody who I know hated themselves after they listened to the first five seconds of the last episode, Windows updated and defaulted all of our audio and sound to the default Windows camera microphone.
And when I was monitoring it and listening, I'm monitoring through a mixer, which is not Windows. So the mixer sounded great. Guys, let me tell you how good that last episode sounded to me compared to everybody else.
So it was a completely different thing. It was. Yeah, not great. Zay, come here real quick. We're going to have Zay just do a quick one over live. Can you just say that little recorder right there? It's on there. Is it saying recording? Don't fucking touch it, though. Okay, perfect.
See, we're good. Good work. We're good. This is gonna be that episode where it all goes right. I can feel it. We got minus our costumes. We're only 28 episodes in. Yeah, this will be 28 because we're scrapping the last 28. We're not putting it out. I'm so amazed we've made it this far. I'm surprised the channel's growing. Honestly, the 10,000 people that watched the last episode...
more than 30 seconds oh man if you listen closely at four hours and 13 seconds they tell a hilarious joke you can hear a word kind of wasn't great it was not ideal halloween no this is cute halloween's good and then that means today we're talking about scary video games
And Destiny. And Destiny. I really wanted to hear about Destiny. Do we start with Destiny or Scary Games? Let's start with Scary Games. Okay. I'm kidding, Destiny. Scary Games, for sure. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. We're all wearing costumes-ish. Grandmaster. We're wearing Grand Wizard. Grand Wizard Batty. Grand Wizard Batty. From South Carolina. We know. Cow pens. We know. Red beard. It's a little bit too red. Need more white.
I'm wearing a bald cap. I hate that bald cap on you so much. It looks like you have a tit on top of your head for a second. This man's got a hairy titty. He's got this on the top of your head, just a nipple up top. Where's the marker? I know, it's just slightly pink. I got a hairy tit on my head. I got a fucking tit head over here. Tit head baddie. This man eating baked beans. You have a cul-de-sac.
You get in, you can't get out. A Hulk Hogan. You look like a shitty Hulk Hogan that works at McDonald's. What do you mean, brother? SummerSlam! Let me rip my fucking robes off. Grand Wizard Batty. Magic missile, brother! Oh yeah! I cast magic missile at the darkness!
Yeah, that's what a grand wizard would do. Oh my god! No! No, that's a thing! It's from an old D&D skit! Oh no! Okay. Hey guys. D&D! In the comments below, tell us what you're going to be for Halloween. Let's switch this real quick.
Oh my god. No fucking, I, scary games were one of my, my first PlayStation game was actually Resident Evil. Number one. We're, okay. Not all the Resident Evil games were scary games. Did you play Resident Evil when you were eight, nine? No, I did. I was like nine when I played the first Resident Evil. It was terrifying.
Okay, but there was a gap from spooky to not spooky to back to spooky. Three went to not spooky. They became more like action games. Nemesis was pretty scary. Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. He pops up at random times and he can go through walls and stuff. He just pops up and starts chasing you. I'm going to die on this hill. Jump scares do not make a game scary. Jump scares are not scary. I hate that shit. When you're little... It's like when horror movies are like...
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
And nowadays the games are like fucking PT and shit. But like Resident Evil was the first one. Cody probably, the dog at the door and the dog in the windows. Yeah. Just jumping through the windows and stuff. You know what, you know what I just thought about though? That was spooky. That wasn't intentionally spooky. You're a Metal Gear Solid fan. Um,
When the psychic guy comes in... Psycho Manus. Doesn't he start messing with stuff on the first Metal Gear Solid? That scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. Yeah, I guess not knowing that. That was actually a really big one too because Psycho Manus in the original one would tell you what's on your memory card and he knew your...
every move and you had to switch the control port to the second one in order to beat him. Okay, so I didn't ever play through this, but I've heard about having the control port thing. And they'd read your memory card. He was like, I see you like Castlevania Symphony of the Night Snake.
And it would go through like a list of Konami video games that read off the memory card. And he would do that, set the controller down and I'll make it shake. You remember? Yeah. But it was like a nine-year-old, eight-year-old. Yeah, you're like, holy shit. How the fuck does he know this? He's shaking your PlayStation. Yeah.
Get out of here! Spooky. But that's like, that and Silent Hill. The first Silent Hill. Okay, Silent Hill, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, Little Ten, I was like, I don't remember how old. PlayStation came out in 90, so those games in 98. So you were like 30 by that time. 13. 30. Oh yeah, I was 32 and I was terrified. I was like, oh god! Do you want the bald old man cap? Give it three more years, I'll look like that. Could you imagine a bald Eli? Yeah.
No. No, it's stupid looking. It's like basic training, Eli. Fucking terrible. I would love to see your basic training. And that's when I had big ears. Big ears and bald. When you went to basic, they just bicked your fuck like to the bone. Yeah, the buzz, yeah. Oh, I'd love to see that. I remember I shaved it in order. I buzzed it before going to basic just so I knew what it was going to look like. You hated it. I was like, God, this is terrible. God, I haven't seen you bald either. Wait, yes.
I am the dorkiest fucking looking person ever. I'll show it to you. Yeah, I'll show it to you, Jesus Christ. I want to see Batty bald and with no beard. I've shown you before. Bald with no beard? Yeah. But like now. Oh, now, now. You have a strong jawline. I don't know about right now. I mean, it's in there. Yeah.
It's maybe like a bit of a second. There might be a little cushion on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the jaws, I don't have like jowl fat, you know? Like, we're good. The jaw's in there. I just, I like having a beard. I'm good. I don't know. Okay, but for like scary games, Silent Hill was probably, Resident Evil first scary one. Silent Hill definitely was, that one fucked with me. I remember we were playing it and power went out near my house and the tornado alarm went off. And I was home alone. I was like...
I die. This is where I die. This is for real. This is for real going down right now. And then I didn't really play, like the scary games, it's harder the older you get. You just don't give a shit as much. Yeah. Do you remember Pokemon? Lavender Town? Ghost Pokemon in the tower? Dude, that story was dark as fuck. It was super dark. I think everyone's dead, right? It's like...
dead Pokemon yeah yeah well the main story when you're running like we're talking OG red blue is uh there was a cube on a baby oh my god am I here showing a little oh no and you had to like fight it use a special tool to find its ghost mother Marowak to
defeat it so you're fighting like dead pokemon's mom and like your rival was there because he had a ratatat or something to eradicate the entire time up to the game then suddenly he doesn't have the pokemon anymore and he's in the dead pokemon tower so everyone's like
When you beat your rival the last time, you killed his Pokemon. There's a whole bunch of weird, dark, spooky. But then the other trainers that you fight in the scary tower, their stories are just dark. Oh, they're all like possessed and shit? Yeah, they're possessed. And some of them are like, yeah, my Pikachu died last year and that's why I'm here. And then they fight you and you're like, oh, that was Jesus Christ. Pikachu go, a corpse falls off. You blinded by Pikachu.
Do they die in the Pokeballs? Oh, God. Oh, I forgot to feed you, Pikachu. Do they just keep the dead corpse in the Pokeballs? That's what I'm saying. It's like, what if they're about to die and you bring them back in the Pokeball next time you release it? It's just like blood and decay. Pokeballs.
Okay, but trainer's throwing one. A dead corpse falls off. Oh, wrong one. You forget to go heal them at the nurse center. It's like, oh shit, I forgot. A little Pikachu and it's a corpse and fucking this nasty decomposed matter everywhere. I just can't listen to anything you're saying because that fucking squid hat, dude. Every time you adjust the...
It's like it's now slit up the fucking middle. It was hurting my brain. Its eyes are in such pain. Kill me. He's the dead Pokemon in the Pokemon. Nice. What they had for Pokemon for that, the original was the Japanese version. They changed the song because apparently it's Suicide. Yeah.
What? You didn't know this? Oh, it's a whole lore. No, Lavender Town is dark as fuck. Yeah, like the original music, which if you hear their OG music, it's fucking weird. It's creepy. It's unsettling, and they had to change it because people were committing suicide. That's like the rumor and stuff, but it's like fucking... You don't want one of the Paul brothers to show your corpse in a forest, so I can see why they changed it. Yes, I was. Yeah.
And use the thumbnail for it. Lavender. Did he use the corpse in the thumbnail too? Yeah, I thought he did. I swore it was like a hanging dude in the back. I remember seeing the actual video of it, but I don't remember the thumbnail. It might have been, honestly, because he's a piece of shit. Oh, God. Welcome to Corona again, by the way. Not using that mic. This is my mic.
They had that. All those dark things. The Zelda...
Fuck, now you have my mind going on those dark shit. Do you remember the Zelda one? The creepypasta one? Yes, the Nintendo 64 game. You can watch it on YouTube still. Look up Zelda creepypasta Nintendo 64, guys. Watch that on YouTube. It's creepy as fuck. It's like someone found a cartridge. They found a cartridge, and then the game didn't play right. And they're like, what the hell? And there was a save file with someone's name, and they deleted it, and then they tried to play it.
And it was like T-Pose Link with a weird... Like, no face. His face was different. And he would drown. And then... It's a fucking creepy-ass story. You ever seen that? Dude. The game wouldn't progress. Yeah. Look it up on YouTube, guys. Zelda Creepypasta Nintendo 64. It's...
It's nutty, dude. That one creeped me out as an adult. I saw that like five years ago. Yeah. Because it's an old story. And it's like a Nintendo cartridge. They were like, yeah, this is how it runs. It would show scenes of the game playing. And they're like, right now Link is just in this...
He drowned and did something else, came back, and now he doesn't do anything and they can't get rid of the save file now. And then something weird is following them around in the game. Yes. I haven't seen it in years. I'm going to go home and watch that today. Everybody's like, what is this? What the fuck, man? I forgot about all these old video game lore. There's a whole bunch of weird fucking video game lore out there where you're like,
Video game creepypasta? Yeah. It's gold. They have one for Red Dead Redemption. I haven't seen that one. That one is they couldn't find out this cabin out. There's a sacrifice one where they can't figure out how to set off the sacrifice mechanics, but they realize there's this thing and if you killed bodies there...
Certain stuff would start to happen, but they don't know what. And if you kill bodies, usually I guess they disappear. That is the only place they don't despawn. They stay there and they'll rearrange themselves when you come back each time. And they're like, what the fuck is this? You know, that's a real thing. Yeah. That's in like now and grant a red Deborah Egyptian too.
That's really cool. I love when developers put stuff like that. Yeah, and they're trying to figure it out, and you're like, what the fuck is this shit? Oh, see, now you got me. Now I want to go home and watch all these scary... Do you guys remember Skyrim? Cicero? Yeah. Cicero was one of the main guy's quest givers in the Dark Brotherhood, the Assassin's
And when you first meet him out on one of the roads towards a city, he, so this is where I was first of all, he's a jester, like a creepy clown that murders people. And he has like the creepy voice and he's awful. It's the worst thing ever. And he's wheeling around the first time you meet him, this giant cart with like stuff all over. And you realize later on in the game inside the cart is his mother.
And he calls his mother. It's an old rotting corpse that's got like demons and shit in it. And it's like commanding him to do stuff. And he's just wheeling this cart with a dead old lady in it. And you find out later when you have to kill him and shit. Super. There's a bunch of weird dark shit in the Elder Scrolls games too. Where you like walk into a house and everything's fine. They're like, oh, there's a basement. You go down in the basement, blood shackles, skeletons everywhere. You're like, oh, I'm going to leave this house real quick. Isn't that one of the Dark Brotherhood missions in Skyrim where you kill the serial killer? Yeah.
Maybe? There's one of them where there's a serial killer. Oh, yeah. And you got to go down and you got to kill him. And you find out he's one. In Oblivion, I know there's one like that, too. It might be Oblivion. You can choose to tell the authorities or you can kill him. It's one of the northern cities in Oblivion. And I think it was northern or eastern. But it's a city with rocks and shit. And the buildings are in the walls. And this dude's basement, he's murdering people.
There's so many weird little quest lines about just crazy murderers and witches and people sacrificing. It's like The Witcher. Witcher has some fucked up...
Witcher 3. You played Witcher 3, right? The Bloody Baron. The intro to The Witcher, like the main first thing you really do is the Bloody Baron. I can't remember the name of the fucking town that he's like the Baron over. But his entire art... Can we spoil a little bit of this for you? Is that okay? Yeah, that's fine for me. Guys, we're going to spoil some Witcher. It means Witcher 3, whatever. It's been out for six years. You're helping this Baron, air quote, helping, I guess, to...
To find some demon baby. No, find his wife. Because he can't find where the wife went. Didn't the demon baby... That's why the wife left, remember? Yes, that's right. Didn't his wife kill herself too? Not yet. The wife, she was like, no, he's like all this. He's an abuser, blah, blah, blah. I was a drunk and I was blah, but I didn't want her. And she's like, we lost the baby because of it. And he didn't want it.
So then, because the baby wasn't wanted and it died and they left and they just threw it in the dirt. Yeah, in the gutter. Just like threw the baby into the sewer or some shit. Yeah, it came back as a botchling, which is a demon baby. It's like a giant floating fetus baby. Jesus Christ.
Yeah, and it's all grotesque and you see it and he has to like hold it and bury it and actually pay amends to it. And then dictating on what path you choose on how you help the wife or not, either the wife dies or the Baron hangs himself. There's no happy ending. I remember I'm like, yeah, we did it. And I came back like the dude's just hanging from a tree. I'm like, oh my God, this game is dark.
And that's one of many fucked up... Like, that's a main story, but the side quests in that, there's serial killers. There's... Oh, yeah, there's an entire serial killer, the one that kills the prostitutes. Oh, shit, yeah, that's right. Yeah, you got... There is so much fucked up shit in this game. Yeah, it's like, oh, the sister that got her sister killed because she loved her sister's husband and turned the husband into a werewolf in order... No, like...
These side quests are fucking insane. The Witcher is still so good. One of my favorites. That was storytelling. That was the first time a city felt like a city when you get to the big one. Yeah, absolutely. The game felt alive. Yes, and that was the first time I've ever felt that. I was like, oh, I'm in a city city. God, you need to play Witcher 3. I know. If you like Skyrim, it's Far Cry. Have you beat it yet? No, I'm 20 hours into it. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm 60% done with it.
I'm so bad. I have so much ADHD when it comes to the side quest. Dude, the Witcher is going to break you then. I know. I'm driving down. Because you were saying you have the same problem too. I'm like driving down the road and these people were like, hey, there's an outpost over here. And I'm like, okay, it'll take me five minutes. I go over there. M14 headshot a couple times. It's mine. And then I'm starting to leave. I'm like, I'm going to do my main quest now. Someone's like, hey, there's a base over here. And I'm like, fuck. Okay, I'll go kill that base. Just real quick. Yeah. Four outposts.
HOURS LATER. I haven't done the fucking quest I set out to do. Well, it's like that meme when you show up at the end, boss. You're like, okay, I'm ready for the quest. You're like level 5,000. Boss is like level 20. He's like, hey guys. You're like, brr! He like explodes. You're like, shit, I made this way too easy for myself. Dude, that's how Skyrim was the first time I played it. Eli, does your costume have a hood? It did. I can't. I can kind of reach it. It kind of ripped.
Or once I did. You're a nun now. Good job. It kind of did. This is what happens when you put in a lot of time and effort. Are you pushing Eli's butt right now? I'm pushing my butt, Donut! You won't like me when I'm angry. Eli's costume has a button on it and Donut's touching it right now. It's kind of sexual, I'm not going to lie.
Oh man. Yeah, The Witcher was a beautiful, beautiful game. Yeah, The Witcher was awesome. Yeah, back to what we were... Distraction. Halloween. Trick or treat. Halloween, guys. That's what... The game I wanted to talk about was... Phasmophobia. No. Resident Evil 7. No. What was... That's right. That's all I got. 2010, 2011. It was that first person with the... If you were in the dark, you'd go crazy.
Why can I not remember this? You had a lantern? It's fucking terrifying. I don't like spooky games, to be totally honest. Really? I didn't play them up until, like, recently. I don't play spooky games. I was too busy jerking off in Elder Scrolls Land, so... Fuck yeah. Eight times through. Still riveting. No, I love... Yeah, though. Did you guys play P.T.?
No, that was the one that old dude created before he left. Amnesia. That's the game name. I remembered it. Nice. PT. Yes. Hideo Kojima. I did play Amnesia, I think. Was that actually called PT? No, I played the one with the video camera.
Oh, that's, um, oh, I know what you're talking about. Fuck. I played it on stream. Light, something light. Dark light? I don't know. We're terrible. We did not plan this podcast. At all. We don't plan any podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We usually just have. We sit down with some white claws and we yell at each other. And people are like, greatest podcast ever. I'm like, okay. Y'all are dumb. Just kidding. We love you. No, we don't.
Her little bastard children. But yeah, fucking Amnesia was the one. It was a fucking terrifying game. But PT, Hideo Kojima with Konami made it, and then they never made it. It was supposed to be the next Silent Hill. Oh, okay, okay. So Aldor Del Toro. Guermo? Guermo Del Toro. So he was helping also with it.
It was on a PS4 demo, and he didn't announce it. They just released a demo, and it said PT. Didn't release it with Silent Hill or anything. Just that creepy-ass fucking... It's just the letter P-T? P.T. So the game starts, and most people... It took us a few days, and even walkthroughs took a week to come out to how to beat it, because it wasn't your standard...
hey go here to here this is a demo you start in a fucking house you it's a the demo disc days well yeah and you go your house is a l so you walk in you're like you start there's a phone you look there's the um there's pictures you walk forward the light's swinging you look to your left there's weird uh pictures ashtrays and there's like burn marks and some of the scratched out when was the last time you played this
That was four years ago. I can't remember what I had for breakfast today. These motherfuckers were calling shit on the wall. It's pretty gnarly. I never played it. Bro, it is. Play it by yourself. It's fucking terrible. No, I'm not gonna. No. Rocket Jump Freddy. I remember Freddy and all of us, it was late night. We stayed late and we turned it on and we were like...
Like we were looking over our shoulders. I was like, man, I don't get scared from guys. This game is fucking terrifying me. So you walk and then you look to the right and then it's the front foyer. Second story, you can never get into a swing door and you walk through the garage door and then you loop. So then you're back at the other L and you're like, what the fuck? So, and there's small changes though that happen the second time. You'll hear voices or something and then the bathroom door closes and you're like, what the fuck? And you can't open it. So you go back.
you loop the project again, then you open, then that door is just like, and it opens it and you hear a child crying. You go to the sink and there's a fetus in the sink crying, baby fetus covered in blood, just crying. And then the bathroom door closes on you. Now you're stuck in there and you see an eye looking through you at the, on a hole in the wall is fucking terrifying.
If you've never played it, play it. Because that's not even the scary part. And you can't even download it. You've got to bootleg it now. Because it was only a limited release and they never did anything with it. So it's just spooky for no goddamn reason. It's just a spooky spook. Well, you can beat it and then you exit and I don't want to ruin it for you because I think you both should play it.
For sure. What happens when you exit it? Play it, buddy. I want because I want you to play it and be just terrified. And they make it VR. Oh, we got to do a VR version because I'm corridor. We beat it with Freddy. We beat it with corridor. And then they got the VR version with the headset. I think you can use the vibe and you are in it. And even though all the guys would beat it, like they were like, fuck, I don't want to look around this fucking corner because I know what's there. I was around the corner, bro.
That's the game day. Spoopy stuff. Yeah, spoopy stuff. I'm not going to play it, but you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go set up my computer. I'm going to watch somebody else play it. Why can't we just watch you play it on VR? Pee. Because you see, like, can I wear my robe of power? Yeah. It's my robe of protection. You can wear your grand wizard robe. No, it's just a wizard robe. Yeah, grand wizard robe. Right.
Racism kills all. Just imagine there's a lot of darkness in the game while you're wearing your bedding. Y'all are the worst. This is called PT. I hate scary games. Oh, it's so good. Like Niko, I remember he's like, Niko's the one he's like, fuck, fuck. Okay. He's like, I beat this game. I hate that I'm terrified right now. He's like, this feels so, and it is photorealistic.
It is. Oh yeah, because he built a new engine specifically for that. Oh, so good. And when the lights go out, oh, the game changes. Yeah, it's good. Oh man. Don't like that. Not one bit. What's the scariest game you've ever played? Oh man, I did that. We were just talking about it. I can't remember the name of it where you have the video camera.
Yeah, they're in like you're trapped in the amnesia and weird how it might have no it's no amnesia the other one You're we're in a mental hospital. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I cannot remember the name one of the spookiest I don't play spoopy games man spoopy spoopy I just don't play spoopy games. I should I have a weak heart. I'm trying not to die That's like jump scare where the hospital is oh
that's how PewDiePie got like big huge because he did well he did the he was doing scary games for a while like jump scare stuff and then he even had his own series on television right scare PewDiePie or something oh yes he did on YouTube for real yeah YouTube read when it first came out yeah but then he said the n-word and they cancelled that yeah he got cancelled oh yeah you're not supposed to do that that's a big no no don't don't
That was on live stream too. It was on PUBG. Yeah, PUBG live stream. Yeah. Oh, and the adpocalypse, of course, where you got the little kids to hold up signs that say things that I can't repeat on this podcast. Yeah, he did that too.
Yeah. Yeah. But that's how PewDiePie got so big in the initial beginning, like back in the mid-2000s, is because he was just doing a bunch of spoopy games. I think it was. Amnesia was the scary one that he played, maybe. I think that might have been the first one. Because I remember that exact one that made PewDiePie PewDiePie. Yeah. Yeah.
Got us. And then the goat one. I remember Ray and playing the goat one. Oh, oh, goat simulator. Yeah. I think that was it. There was one where he did that. There's an Easter egg in goat simulator too. You're talking to it. I thought about this earlier when you were talking about red dead redemption too, in goat simulator. If you kill like,
six or seven people and you take them up to this certain hill and there's a pentagram there and you lay them in a certain way as the goat then your goat turns into like a black demon goat and you're in hell and like everything's on fire jesus christ yeah i did it on stream one night
I was like, wait, what? It's like someone in chat was coaching me through it. They're like, no, no, no. Now kill that guy because you can drag people like with your tongue. You can like latch onto him. So just like six people up to this hill and put them in a pentagram shape. And it was like, boom. And I was a demon goat. God, they put a lot of thought. Just so everybody knows, Goat Simulator is literally a game where you simulate being a goat. You're just a goat. You're just a...
Just a goat. Just a goat. That turns into a demon. You know, video games, guys. Video games. I don't really... I didn't really do scary games at all, though, growing up. I was just too busy in my Elder Scrolls bubble. But recently, I did Phasmophobia a bunch for a while. Oh, yeah. I played a little of that.
it was more fun with terrifying moments, especially in VR. Cause I played it in VR. Jesus. It was like my first like VR big experience. What's phasmophobia? It's where you're like a ghost hunting team. Oh, I saw Julian playing. Yeah. Um, and you have to like,
like, use clues of like, oh, there is spooky cold weather in this room. Oh, there's a chair thrown across that room and you gotta try to figure out if it's a, what type of ghost is, like a poltergeist or a demon and you gotta, like, ghost hunt. But at the same time, if you're too loud because as you're talking into your microphone, it's broadcast through the fucking game and the ghosts can hear you. So my ass is like, I don't like this. I don't like this. What the fuck's going on? Hey!
and I'm hiding as if the ghosts are just murdering me. Also, the game has certain words, like trigger words, like saying you're stupid or angry things towards the ghosts makes them mad, or saying the name of the ghost, 'cause they all have names. So it would be like, oh, the ghost's name is Jesse Davis.
and you're just saying its fucking name to see if you can trigger it while your friends are in the house and shit. And then you just shut the door and you try to hold the door shut with your friends and they're stuck inside. It was terrifying. But that's VR when you have those turnarounds. Oh, yeah. Dude, I've never played a VR scary game. Oh, my God. No.
I'd shut my... So you have video cameras and shit too, so you can set up a video camera in a closet. And then I'm just sitting in the corner of the closet because the thing's stomping around in the hallway and I'm trapped and all my friends are laughing in the van watching the security camera. My little dude, my VR avatar, is in my real room under a desk. Like...
Freaking the fuck out. It's a game changer. The first scary VR, it was a mobile... I had that mobile VR set. Yeah, where you use your phone in the goggles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it worked really good, especially... It wasn't like Vive level at that time. This is 2015 era. But man, there's a mobile... It was one of the few first scary games. And I remember it was...
You're walking through and there was this like statue was a stone statue. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, like, walk, turn around. It's closer. I was like, what? Holy shit. What the fuck? I'm like, oh, it's like backing up in the game, like facing the statue. And then like a demon. I can't. It's an it's a fucking terrifying. If you need to do VR makes things way more scary than they really are. Yeah. Because you feel you're there. Like, yeah, I'm here now.
I had the Vive Pro for a while before my cat knocked over one of the... one of the things. The sensors. One of the sensors and broke it. I got to play it like five times. Was it fucking Squirt or Jones? It was Jones. Before Jones knocked it over. Fucking Jones! Yeah, I was playing um... What is it? Blade and sword and... Oh, so Mount, yes. No, no, no, Blade and Sorcery. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just a gladiator? Dude, I did this whole stream. We called it the Chris Brown stream where I just beat up women the entire time.
I don't know how you haven't been canceled. Well, no, the game was only spawning women, and it was a stream where I was only using my fists, and my chat was like, oh, it's the Chris Brown stream. Like, oh, Jesus. Oh.
How are you canceled this week? But yeah, I would like to do more VR stuff. That's the point behind it. It's so terrifying. We got to do... Alien Isolation is on VR now too. Oh, I forgot about Alien Isolation. Yeah. I haven't played it. Kaylee played it a lot. It's like the alien learns. It's AI. And it learns how you hide. So you can't hide the same way.
It's crazy. That one, if you've never played, it's a fucking scary-ass game. And it's on VR. And it's scary. I couldn't do VR because that thing comes to sound design. If you have a good scary game, sound design really matters. And being where you don't have weapons and you have to hide. It's like PT. You can't kill the alien. Yeah, you're just like, I got to run. I got to run. And those androids, the fucking red-eyed androids. Ah, man. I love scary games. I love scary games.
I haven't played one in a long time. I played PT not too long ago because you can just download it on PC. Now there's an Unreal version of it.
And past that, I've looked for scary games because I want to play them. I fucking love them. Did you play the new Resident Evil? Yeah. I'm halfway through it. The new new one is... Sorry, I shouldn't say that. Seven. Seven is where it went like full horror. Yeah. That was good. That's the family... Yes. Yeah. That one was crazy. I played through that one on stream. I didn't finish it, but... That was a scary game. Yeah, that was pretty fucking scary, man.
Especially, like, you're looking for your girlfriend, you're going down the stairs in that first part, and she jumps on you. Oh, yeah, fuck. And then you wake up, and you're with the family, and they're just, like, eating, like, body, like, maggots, and corpses, and, like, all this other shit. That's what it's like. Imagine, for me, it's like our scary games at nine years old, 12 years old, was Resident Evil 1. If we play it these days, it's like...
This is stupid. Now imagine being 12 and playing Resident Evil 7 or PT. That would fuck with me as a child. When I was a kid, Ocarina of Time, when you're older and everything turned into zombies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That used to scare the piss out of me. Absolutely. I hated it. I was like, I don't want to do this part. I don't want to do it. I'd just run. I wouldn't even fight them. I'd just run. You know what I used to be terrified of a lot of games when I was younger? Like Splatterhouse or fucking...
It was Splatterhouse the Jason for Friday the 13th for Nintendo, even though it's terrible when you look back at it. You're like, oh, my God, this is terrifying. Jason's around the corner. What's the dude on YouTube? Angry video game nerd. Oh, yeah. AVGN. Yeah. He did one about that. The Jason on Nintendo. It's so funny. It doesn't make any sense. Like, it's just terrible. Yeah. The map is backward. Like where your map is. So you'd be like, oh, I'm here. So if I go right, I should go.
Right.
Not in this game. He'd be like, I go right, and then it shows him this way in the map. He's like, God damn it! Go the wrong way! Yeah, he left down. He's like, I don't even know where the fuck I am. Jason just shows up in the houses. You remember? He just side-strikes. It's like a Mike Tyson punch-out. You have to throw baseballs at him. Yeah, it sounds stupid. A water gun. I forget. Oh, no. Jason gets unconscious. You run away. God, those old games are not scary. All fucking trashed.
Have they ever made a Halloween video game, like Michael Myers video game? They had to have. Like, there's been... I don't know. They did a lot of Jason. They did a lot of Freddy. I don't remember any Michael Myers video games. I can't actually remember a Halloween video game. Which, by the way, go watch the new Michael Myers movie. What's it called this time? Is it just Halloween again? Halloween, yeah.
We won't spoil it. We'll just say it's fucking frustrating. It's frustrating. We're doing a whole skit about it tomorrow. Yeah. Which will go up a day before this podcast. So go check it out. It'll be gold. We're actually excited. Or it won't be. We'll find out, though. Hopefully it will be. It's good. It's a good concept. This one, this is...
Yeah. A chef's kiss. Okay, Batty, are you ready to discuss? Is it time? Destiny. Can we talk about it? All right. Destiny 2. Okay. Batty's put 100 hours in this game the past two days. Yeah, two days. No joke, I'm at like 90-something hours in seven days.
This has been baddy shit. He's been all about it. So I was at a point in playing Escape from Tarkov when I realized it's been four years. And if I played another minute, somebody was going to have to do 22 pushups real quick. I was right there. I hate that fucking game right now. I'm just tired of Tarkov. So I was like, fuck it. What haven't I played in a very long time? My previous favorite game, Destiny 1. I played Destiny 2 at launch and it was awful. Fucking awful. Worst launch in a game I've seen. Like a AAA title that I've seen in a long time.
So I didn't play it. Then I went back at the first DLC called Forsaken, which is when they killed Cade, one of the main characters in the game. And it was like a big deal. So I went back and played it. But at the time, I was like just on the verge of partner numbers on Twitch. So if I kept playing it, I wasn't going to be able to make it a job. So I stopped playing Destiny again. It's been like two years. I was back in September of 2018. Three years. Yeah.
Yeah, that long. Because you moved here, then you went through... Yeah, that was a long time ago. That was a minute ago. That was the last time I played Destiny. That was in my first apartment. Yeah. And I was like, fuck it, I'll turn it on. Oh my god, did I get sucked into Destiny 2? It's good. Dude, so the game, first of all, I forgot what it was like to play a game that doesn't stutter and break...
I think Battlefield really made me remember what playing a real game was like. Because as much as I shit all over Battlefield 2042, which I don't know if anybody will ever hear. Oh, no, that was in the Broken podcast. Mechanically, Battlefield ran fucking amazing. The terraforming, it was beautiful, whatever. So when I played Destiny 2, it was just like a working, fun game. And I know the Destiny community has their own little gripes with how it runs. But compared to like Darkov...
It's like being blind your entire life and somebody smacking you in the face and like I can see Gunplay one of the best the game can run dude in it. There's so much to do like that's my biggest thing I have so much to do so my first day I played it like 12 hours straight the next day. I played it for 17 hours or some shit straight just streaming and Sorry hair
You got it, girl. There you go. Yeah, and I've just been trying to get caught up. Like, I started as a brand new character because you were able to initially, I think, bring your Destiny 1 character to Destiny 2. I don't think that's anything. It's not anymore because, dude, there's been 15... We're on Season 15, and each season in the game has been, like, a new story event. Like, they're adding to the actual story of the game each season, which...
is frustrating and awesome one it's awesome because all the content frustrating because you can't replay the old season events really you can play a couple back but you can't play like what happened in season three four like one of the most prominent characters in like destiny lore was saint 14 like this crazy titan you could wear his helmet as an exotic and suddenly the motherfucker is alive now and he's just chilling in the tower i'm like where the fuck did he he was he was the legend where did he come from
Well, if you get the Gorham cards, you can go onto the website and read about the lore. This is actually how original Destiny 1 was. Dude, you would unlock, you would do little events around the game.
There was a word. They were like, we're going to spend all our money on Peter Dinklage. Okay. This is a good Avenue. He will just voice the robot for three seasons. And then we'll just, yeah. Dinkle bot. And then we'll get rid of that. Cause it was a waste of fucking money. And he put zero. He, he's a great actor and he, it looked like he showed up to the set on that one. Cause he's like, Oh no, no,
That wizard's from the moon. That wizard's from the moon. Hold on, I'll open this door for you. Yeah, good job, Titan. Just hold on. Let's go, Guardian. Guardians, you got this. Is my paycheck? Okay, cool. Guardians, this is for the... You gotta kill Darkness.
That's not a joke. That's what you're actually fighting. You're actually fighting darkness. You are. You're in the original and you're fighting darkness. You still are. Oh, okay. But like the darkness is there now. Like that's the new season. The circle thing he's on. That's the traveler. That's light. Oh, yeah. The darkness are pyramids. Circle pyramids are bad. I don't know. Either way, through all the seasons, different story things have happened. Squid Game.
The game is so much fun. I know the gunplay is fucking phenomenal.
I raged. You were playing and I was trying to play with you. Did you know we started playing together to try and catch up with you so we could play with you? I did. Yeah. And made me really happy. Even more so when I looked over to Eli in my chat saying, how do I make this work? And I opened up his stream to see him on the verge of having a mental breakdown. I'm pissed. Dude, you're so angry. Eli couldn't get the game to run right. Eli's broke. Dude, that's the fastest way to watch me get frustrated is like,
And when it's a game spot, when I was like, Google this fucking in there, like destiny, it says, it's like, yeah, this is a problem across the destiny. They've addressed it, but they said that they won't know when they're going to fix it. And I was like, Oh,
And then it's my LG monitor. So then it was forced HDR on my monitor permanent. And there was no button on LG monitors. Fucking great idea, LG. Make it where you can't turn off HDR mode on your monitor. Does my monitor have an HDR mode? Is that a thing? I didn't know that before you said that just now. Yep. I was like, are you fucking? And then I Google LG turning off HDR. And they're like, no, you can't.
Why the fuck can't you do that? That's fucking stupid. So then I had to wipe that, reinstall the drivers, new drivers, right? The old drivers. And then it worked. The monitor was back to normal. I was like, and then I was talking to my stream and they're like, Eli, don't turn on destiny. This could go either way. You're either going to punch your fucking monitor or it's going to work. And I was like,
Did you turn on Destiny? Turned it on and it worked. And I was like, oh, now it works good. Looks fucking beautiful. I just haven't played it yet. I want to get him playing again. But the game. I'm at a point where I can help now. Yes. I've got to do. I seven days. I went from brand new, played through every story that you can really play through with the expansions. And then.
And then I got to a point where I'm almost... I'm just shy of the soft cap. Like, the highest soft cap. I guess hard cap, I should say. What's a soft cap? What the fuck is that? In Destiny... So it's all... Yeah. Are you okay? Get his light. Get his light. Suck his dick. Suck my dick. So Destiny's all gear score, basically. You get different...
Gear and it raises your light level. It's your gear score. Think of was the end world of Warcraft your score. Yeah, you're yeah Certain raids unless you had a high enough gear exactly which is your combined gear total. Yep It's exactly what destiny is so you're just right. It's a looter shooter you kill enemies They drop little fucking things you do quests you get more loot you get power up your level so you can do higher things and
eventually you get to do special things called like nightfalls which are super tough strikes or you can do raids which raiding is was my thing like i've never been the best at destiny pvp i was good back on xbox i am not good at rps dude getting a lighthouse was fucking hard i used to sherpa on console i used to sherpa raids and lighthouse runs flawless lighthouse runs with my boys back on xbox destiny one
I can. So for what, what Sherping lighthouse runs means, it was like your gear score normally doesn't matter in PVP. Yeah. PVPs normalized. It was your weapon, but the weapons you'd want back in the day, there was stronger fucking weapons in PVP only during iron banner events, which that gear score would somewhat matter. Weapon weapons had different abilities and things like that. That would matter. But the power we,
Well, yeah. Certain weapons got broken, but the level of you didn't matter. Everything was, yeah. It was just the weapon itself if it was broke. Then there was a special PvP mode called Trials of Osiris, which was like hardcore PvP where your gear score mattered in PvP. So if you loaded in a little undergeared, some dude would one-tap you with any gun because you were a lower gear score. It's like...
Battlegrounds, right? Is that what it was called in WoW? PvP in WoW? Yeah. Battlegrounds? That was the mass skill. Oh, yeah. Battlegrounds. Going into that. You can do the arena and the battlegrounds. And the arena was when it's like 2v2, 3v3. Yeah, like going into that, but being super underleveled and just getting annihilated. Yeah. So I used to... Those were 3v3 Trials of Osiris runs. Me and a buddy would run somebody who was not good at PvP. And if you got to the end of your card, which was 7 or 9...
Nine. Nine wins. Yeah. You would get like super good loot. At the White House. And we would run people to this. And it was fucking awesome. But you only could lose. So what he means is a card is there's ten slots. You only can lose one PvP round.
Out of 10. You have to have perfect. And it was a lot harder than people like getting the lighthouse and people would want somebody to. We used to, they would pay people money to get to the lighthouse. Yeah. Cause we do brutal, but fuck raids on hard. We would crush like,
The raids on Destiny you're going to fucking love. I've raided three times now, four times. They brought back Vault of Glass. Oh, yeah, Vault of Glass. I've seen a dude solo it. I was watching some of the solos of it, and I was like, oh, God, this is fucking insane. I remember soloing Crota. Dude, like Crota's End on D1. So, yeah, the whole thing is I just wanted to get back into Destiny and start raiding. So I had something fun to turn my brain onto for a little bit while Tarkov was making me want to die.
And raiding in Destiny 2 is fucking awesome. Oh, yeah. It's just as good. Like, there's even more mechanics now. You need to learn how to do things, which is what makes it fun. It's not just, shoot the big guy. It's like, do this, this, this. There's certain roles. There's a called Deep Stone...
Crypt, I think it is. DSC, yeah. And it's a special raid where there's people that have to pick up certain roles. Like somebody's got to be an operator. Somebody's got to be a scanner. Somebody's got to... Dude, and you have to... The operator has to shoot his teammates to remove debuffs on them. While a scanner has to run around and look for the correct boss. Because there's multiple copies of the boss that only the scanner can see the right highlighted one. Oh, yes. Dude, it's so... And there's another role...
God, I can't remember. A suppressor where you have to shoot the boss after standing in certain places to suppress his shield so everybody else on your team can actually damage him. And you have to do this shit in sync all in the right time order so that you can actually do a little bit of damage to the boss. And then it's rinse and repeat with different enemies. And the whole time enemies are attacking you. And mobs are coming in. Dude, it's been so good. It was actually a really fun. It was a frustrating raid to learn because we were teaching a couple new people, including myself. But...
Dude, like, it's fun. Like, learning how to raid again. It was a lot of fun. We have to fucking level up. It's a game, like, I love Destiny. That's when I just played with Freddie, Matt, John, Carmen. And we just rolled through it. We'd just be like, this is our group. This is...
every Friday or whenever the loot table would rotate. Tuesdays. Tuesdays. It used to be Tuesdays at like 2 a.m. or whatever. Now it's like noon. I was waiting for the part of the podcast where Batty and Eli talk about a game I know nothing about. And here we are. Here we are. I'd also like to mention something we haven't done this podcast. Come, our sponsor, come.
I should have worn my Doom shirt. If you haven't heard of cum yet, that's-- it sponsors us. Brought to you by cum. When you kill a certain type of Vex in the Vault of Glass, they explode with white cream.
That's an actual thing. Cum. There we go. I know about that. Remember aliens when the androids would die and they were just white ooze out of them? It's like their blood was cum. Yeah, they were cum blood. That confused me as a child. I was like, why is milk shooting out his mouth? The androids? It's like, what was everyone on the ship doing with the androids? Androids, come here. Come here, androids. We've been in space for a long time. Oh, God.
He wasn't dying, he was just sleeping in space for a year, Android. Come here. Come here. Come here, Android. They don't have liquid in them. They store whatever is placed inside them. That's funny, when the queen alien stabs through it, she's like, blah!
It's just... It's a sperm ship. Scientists in the future are like, how can we power this robot? Well, everyone on the ship is going to be lonely. Yeah. And they know it's a robot. Come! Come! It's powered by come. I mean, so are we technically, so... Oh, no. Oh, no. I can't look at the queen killing that android this way.
18 dudes on the spaceship's come spilling out of it. Why do we continue to make it look like a guy?
Where's the girl android? Now I understand why they're not making it a girl. Yeah, that makes sense. Never mind. Can we pick our android? It's like, of course. It just shows up with huge tits and a fat ass and looking like an amniot. Yes! We're on the right ship. Weird all the space nerds just picked this model. Did you never try Destiny 1, though? No. Really? Nope. Damn. Never played it. Alright. Come. Come.
There's one thing Donut knows a lot about, and that's semen. Oh, no. Oh, man. Yeah, Destiny 2, I got to level 7 or 8 or something. I was playing the Hunter.
Oh, hunter's the only way to play. Yeah, I thought you would be playing the wizard guy. The warlock. So I started as a warlock, but I love hunters in Destiny. I'm Titan. Really? I mean, that makes sense. Warlocks are cool. I gotta make a warlock. So if you want, I can make a new character. You get three characters. You can make one of each. We can just all power level together.
Play video. I'm definitely going to send my guns for my good character over to my warlock. Oh, yeah, you can do that. I forgot this. But you can transfer guns from a character to another. Yes. I forgot about that. Yeah, because you have a storage box. A vault. It's called a vault. Yeah, a vault. And it goes in any character if you can't open it. So, like, I can buy high-leveled warlock and titan gear from Xur on special days, like right now, and give that to my titan warlock immediately to help power level him a little bit. Oh, shit. Mm-hmm.
Huh. Are there level requirements on guns? Or you can just give it to them? It's just the way loot drops will only drop around your level. Shit. Up until the soft cap, which is 1270. When you get to 1270, things start getting a little harder and you have to start doing special quests to get what's called powerful gear or pinnacle gear, which is gear that will be above your level.
Up until that 1270, though, it just everything you're getting. So you're always swapping gear out. Yeah. You don't really get to find your fun gun at that point. Yeah. Because it's just you need to get to that soft cap. And once you get to the soft cap, you're doing those hard missions, what are called strikes, nightfalls, raids. Some crucible matches can help you get gear. There are new types of raids called dungeons. Dungeons.
Dungeons are three people raids. I've been carried. I got carried through one. Bro, it is hard. And hard, I mean, like, confusing. I got the dumb and it's terminal. And that shit was tough. Because they, like, oh, man. And the platforms. Like, Destiny raids, I think we've talked about before. But the platforming in Destiny. So you were in, like, where there's ground and everything. Yeah.
Where we were in the world on Earth or whatever the fuck. Where you start. Cosmodrome, Russia. Yeah. And then there is the raids have platforming. And that is the... Like jumping puzzles. Yeah. And that is when you start seeing which of your teammates are going to be an anchor in this fucking equation of beating this. It's like, bro, you just got to jump two times. What are you doing? And they're just like, I'm trying.
Yeah, because there's no, like, they teleport to you. You're like, this ship goes... Oh, it was like Crota or whatever. It was like this ship. Crota's like, you have to jump on moving ships. And then this ship... And you had to do it in a specific order and time it. And then you would make it to a certain wall. There was that hard wall jump. And then you'd go. And then we'd just be there. And that's when we knew our buddy JC. I'll just say JC. Was high as fuck. Because JC sucked dick at that game when he was high. And we'd just be like...
Jay, what are you doing? He's like, what? Like, jump on the fucking ship and you just see him stand there. It's like the ship's already started. And you see just... And it resets. It always resets at the beginning, too. Yeah, and you start all the way back at the beginning. There's no way to help your friends through this shit. No, they have to do it. And it is fucking frustrating. When I used to Sherpa raids, like, we would... What was that?
What? Oh, the dick wall? Yeah, dick wall. King's fall. There's a wall. It's just like a horizontal wall at an angle. With levels. Like a pyramid. Oh, God. And you'd be running on the side of, you know, be running across the side of this thing. Then out of nowhere, a giant dick would come out and just beat you off into the distance. You would see your friend go...
And they just die. So you'd have to wait for the dicks to fly out. You'd be like, who's the dick wall? And you'd run by real quick. Nothing happened. Nailed it. Go to sleep today. King's Fall was the dick wall raid was a solid one. I'm going to have so much fun on those. Imagine World of Warcraft like with WoW had some platforming raids.
Are you using your squid to clean up spilled white claw? Yeah man, what else do you use it for? You know? That's it. My man's got a point. Halloween costumes are good for two things: Disguising how ugly you are and cleaning up old booze. Bam. There's gonna be a lot of slutty officers this year.
Oh no, everyone's going to be wearing squid game. Oh God. Yeah. Everybody. Squid. It's going to be the zipper is going to be halfway down. Yeah. That's it. And then hop helmet on. Well, yeah, they're gonna be way too tight. Oh yeah. I'm a squid game. Yeah. I'm a, I saw the movie. I'm a squid game. Yeah. I love squid game. Are we going to do a squid game? Yeah.
Yes. Yeah. Why don't we do a super easy Halloween skip tomorrow? It's going to be so good. That's what I'm excited for. That is going to be gold. God, yeah, we need to get those because it's like platforming like they did in WoW, but where WoW, if I remember right, would push you forward through everything, right? No, WoW, you had some of those...
Obstacles you had to get through, right? What the fuck? What just happened? World of Warcraft raids. Yeah, I know. They had platforms in that. Yeah, some of the later raids do. Yeah, and you had to get through it as a character. No...
A lot of it was like where the boss was going to kill you at and you all had to go at the same time to certain points. You still can't help each other through it. But it's just on a much larger scale with Destiny 2 because it's a first person shooter. Whereas WoW, it gave you a little bit of leeway. But in Destiny 2, it's like no, you've got to have life. You're just looking down.
Who got fucked because they couldn't jump far? Like one of the character classes? Yeah. For a long time, Hunters had the most difficult because so Warlocks and Titans both have like Warlocks can kind of float out. Titans can power out or they call it skating, air skating. Hunters had the double jump but their double jump wasn't
Long. Yeah, it doesn't propel you. It's just like two jumps. Yeah, they had to be very accurate. Eventually, they put out a gear, like I said, a legs boots that increased your double-dutch distance to make it better. And they're like one of the main DPSs, too, so you can't not go in there with them guys, right? Yeah.
No. See, that's the thing. Right now. You can have just nothing but Titans. Titans and Warlocks are like your most wanted classes right now because each. The hammer drop. Boom. Not even that anymore. Titans obviously have their weapons of light where they can make a dome that can protect everybody. You can't shoot out of it. But if you step into it and then step out. You get the power. You get a huge power buff. Oh,
Warlocks have the opposite where there's no dome to protect you, but if you stand in a well, a light well, it heals you and gives you a power buff.
So yes, you can still die in the well, but it's harder to die in the well. And you stack that with each other if you got like both at the same time. You put like a bubble behind the well so you go in. You're just like. Yes, and you just murder. The thing about hunters, yes, they can probably do some of the most damage with their super because it's a golden gun and does huge damage, but they have a special item called the Celestial Nighthawk. It's a helmet that turns like your six shooter golden gun into a single shot.
It's like an Omega fucking dash beam. Yeah. So if you can get a couple hunters with that, a Titan, a Warlock. Titans and Warlocks just have some cool fucking abilities so they can get through shit a little better. You'll like it. So we're playing Destiny 2. We're gonna get it. I was excited to play that again and when I was playing I was like, oh, this is home. I remember this. It took a few years for them to figure the fuck out.
We joined at the right time. They just went through a huge issue where the lead developer for the game, Luke Smith, you probably remember him from the first one. I guess you decided like, hey man, the game's getting too powerful. We're just going to sunset all your weapons, like 600 something weapons or something like that. Just couldn't use them anymore because they couldn't be powered up with your light level anymore. So people spend years grinding out the perfect rolls and getting all these weapons. And then he's like, get fucked. Jesus. Really? Yeah.
They are no longer sunsetting anything, but there's a whole section, a subset of weapons from a couple seasons ago that are just useless now. You just can't use them. And so now I guess Luke is no longer... People don't like. Yeah, he's not a fan. He used to be super good because he helped do the Taken King raid. He helped do that. But now he's, I guess, a suit and not so much a...
In charge of games. Business. That's actually... And there's like five new raids, so...
We went to, I forgot. I got to see Destiny before it came out. Yeah, you're a piece of shit. I forgot about that. I went to the, I went to the, what studio? Bungie. Yeah, Bungie. When they met that in Seattle, when Freddy and them came up and I hung out with them the first time. As friends, like when they were like, yo, come out. They were like, hey, we're going to go see Bungie. You want to come? They're working on this game. We had assigned NDAs and everything. I was like, oh, this game looks fucking dope. We didn't know what the fuck it was at that time. The first Destiny? Yeah.
Yeah, and they had like cinema trailers. They let us like show... Bungie was dope studio, how it was all set up. I'm like, holy fuck, this is great. But seeing as... And then I remember it released and I was like, oh, it's fucking great. I remember going and...
hanging out and seeing that for the first time. That was the first video game studio I ever went to. They had the old Master Chief stuff. Okay. Because OG Bungie. Yeah. It was OG Bungie. And then one of the last times PAX 2019 when I went, I remember I got lunch and then two guys were sitting next to me and I was like, oh, nice shirt. Cause he had a, he had a destiny shirt on and he was like, oh, thanks. I was
I was like, you guys play the game? And they're like, oh, we created the game. I was like, oh, shit, what's up? I was like, oh, fuck, look, I made two guns look like your guns in Destiny. And they're like, oh, can you actually text that to me? Because I've seen the Destiny guns. Yeah, and they're like, that's fucking dope. I still want to make a Kiopa Rhino into an Ace of Spades. Oh, 100%. Ace of Spades is a special gun. I'm sorry, Dona. Really cool story, guys. We can talk about Comm again. Yeah, okay.
Something I know about. You guys know what cum is? Very well. I don't know. I don't know how make a girl do it, but I know about my own. I have cum. Yeah, I have cum. Like a real man, I always finish first. I'm first in everything in life. Be a man. Cum. Yeah.
That's a shirt. It just says, be a man. Come. It's like, what is this? What does that mean? Your costume is such a mess, Eli. It's fucking awesome. I don't know what, like, what child is going to walk around holding this fucking bag? Every single kid that would wear that. Your kid would probably love that, though. Oh. Oh. Because he's autistic? It's got lights. Ryan's just looking at it.
It's not a UPS costume. He'd fucking hate it. My son is a UPS man. He'd be like, this is not the right brown donut.
He would know the fucking Xcode for that, bro. 100%. He knows the four-digit or, yeah, the Xcode. It's like seven years in a row, UPS man. The cheapest costume in the world. Because he wears it for like four years and then we upgrade it. And then he wears it again. The hat stays the same, though. Is it still like a little too small hat? No. Well, UPS are fucking, they're gangsters.
every time UPS for holidays and shout out to UPS. Yeah. They don't ruin my package. The employees, they'll send it, um, multiple different UPS employees have sent stuff to the PO box of just like UPS cars, toys, trucks, NASCAR, their outfits, uniforms, everything. And Ryan's like,
Fuck yeah, dad. I'm like, yeah, thank the UPS guys. They're making this possible. Does he wear pants or short shorts? Pants. He's all about those long pants. Okay, not a short, short guy yet. That's why today was very special. It was the first thing he was happy about to go to school. Because he was like, he puts on that outfit. He's like, it's Halloween. It's fucking Friday. I'm showing everyone where I'm working when I grow up. He's got his hat on. He's got his mask on. He's like, fuck yeah, kid.
What was John this? What's John? Oh, he's at that age where he's probably not going to trick or treat much. Yeah, I don't know, man. He hasn't told me much. He wore something. He made up his own Walking Dead character. I was going to say, he had a mask and everything, didn't he? Yeah, he made up his own Walking Dead character. He combined it with a prisoner, a gas mask, and Negan. And he sent me four paragraphs of what his character was, which is really cool. He's being really creative about it this year. Because he's obsessed with The Walking Dead right now. So he's...
Oh, God. He's been a prisoner that escaped. That is Negan also and has a bed. And...
So he makes it, I like it. And you're like, son, this is great. You didn't read it. Like a real dad, I said nice. Did you get my email? Did he write you a letter? No, he sent it in text. And it was like literally five paragraphs. I'm really proud of him. John, you're so great. He does what he does to all of us. He just hearts the text. He double taps it. He's like, cool, John. Yeah, cool story, bro. Cool.
TL;DR next time. Goddamn, man. Oof, we were- oh god, that last vlog I did. Every comment, it's like, Eli's as tall as John. I was squatting! Maybe he bent down slightly, I don't know. You're just short. He was dancing with John, so he was like, a little bit lower. And people were like, "I can't tell if John's getting bigger or Eli's getting smaller."
Both. It's both. Well, the stream, that's what the stream's like. Are you like five too? I'm like, Oh, this is great. And now when I meet people, they're like, you're way taller than I thought. I was like,
I mean, I live with this. This is the new thing compared to your waist shorter than I thought. People thought I was Matt Best height or Batty or anyone. I'm like, no, I'm not fucking 6'2", 6'3". How tall are you? You're 6'4"? Oh, no, I'm 5'11". Oh, you're right there. I'm the fucking king of the manlets. King of the manlets. Hear that, chat? If you're under 5'0", chat. I said chat again.
Yeah, Matty, tell the story of when you were helping me fix my button. Oh my God. I was trying to help Eli fix his foot pedal, I believe, and I called him on the phone, but I was at my computer kind of walking him through steps to fix the USB. Yeah, while he was at his house using his phone and everything, and we're trying to fix shit on our computers online.
And as I was telling him how to do things on the phone, I was talking into my microphone and using my push to talk button. Because I'm so trained when I'm in front of a microphone to talk to it and also use my push to talk button at the same time I'm talking. Hey, Eli, yo, can you hear me in my...
Hey, what's up, buddy? I'm like, bad. He's like, God, you literally could hear your voice drop of what you were doing. You're like, God damn it. I was talking to my microphone. Yeah, Eli. So what are you going to? I'm dumb. Like, I'm not talking to anybody on my computer and I'm still using my mic like I need. Like, I'm using my fucking PC mic to talk to my phone like an idiot.
This is what we do. Well, that should be well over an hour, actually. So go play Destiny 2. Wait, this podcast was over an hour? Hey, Fluck, just cut this one in half. Don't give him the second half. Perfect. Fuck you guys. We just don't end podcasts anymore. It just stops talking halfway. Wait, there's a sentence. Yeah, like Desti...
podcast and it stays for 30 minutes though just silence yeah nice well everyone shout out to our sponsor cum
Bye, everyone. Not ranch water. Not ranch water. Oh, God. We haven't done a drink sponsor in a minute. Oh, God. Peace. And then we won't know. When's the next time we're doing a podcast? Because you have to move all of this. I'm moving. At least a week. You guys are going to have like a week or two lull there between podcasts. Yeah. I mean, I'll try to get this. I can get... I mean, this shit's easy to set up. So that won't be a problem. We can borrow someone else if anything. Especially we got that new setup for the audio thing. The podcast will be easy to set up. I just... The table's going to be set up. The...
right away so there may not be all the bullshit set up yet but the table and the podcast can be set up
Next thing we'll work on is our cameras. Make that nicer. Because this is totally... Deal with iPhones. Yeah, iPhones today because two people forgot cameras. It's better to watch the video. Yeah, two people forgot. You forgot your cameras too. Yeah. God, Eli and I both forgot our cameras. This is the best podcast in the world. Sorry, Fluck. We get something new and then we regress. One step forward, two steps back. Guys, the audio is going to be rad today. Picture quality.
on this razor from 2003. My flip phone razor. It's 480p. My two megapixel camera. Well, Bonobopinator, Batty Streams, the Grand Dragon, White, Grand Wizard, and Eli. Oh, my ninja costume's on. Double tap. Batty, say bye. Bye. We love you guys. Happy Halloween.
