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You ever notice the first sip we take every time is like we haven't had water in four weeks. And you're like, I'm dying of dehydration, but it's just alcohol. I had mint gum in my mouth the first time. It ruined everything. This is the worst. Oh, no.
Hi everyone! Don't do the intro. Hi everyone! Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Eli DoubleFap, BattyStreams, and DonutOperBopperDate. I gotta show you from that one. You've never said unsubscribe podcast. Yeah, you said unsubscribe podcast. Oh my god, we're...
Oh my god, this is professional. And this might be the first episode that everything works right. Let's be honest. This camera's gonna die or something. Our audience already cut out. This has been a learning process for all of us. You know, only like 24 episodes in. This is gonna be 27? As they say, 27 times a charm.
Okay, GED, barely graduated, Navy. Like, what do you... Yeah, we're good. Failures. I tried college. I gave it a college try. I went to college for one course in high school. Oh.
And that got a D minus. And it was an arc, of course. And I think they only gave him the D minus because they're like, oh, he's just, he's a poor ginger in high school. He felt bad for him. You don't get a D minus in an art class. Like, I failed. And they were just like, bleh. Picture Matty drawing stick figures. I was like, is it good enough? Is it good enough?
I was a great artist for a long time. I used to only, I did a lot of like pencil 2d painting and then I just stopped. You stopped forever. So my portfolio that I had spent a long time building and making got thrown away. Wait, did you want to be an artist? Yeah. Who threw it away?
Oh, let's hear this X story. No. No. Is it an X? It may have been left out on my porch in the rain. Oh, see. Yeah. So yeah, no, I used to love doing art and I stopped. I was like, I was a really good like pencil artist. I can draw like human figure, like hands, things like that. That's all I used to do. I could never do digital about this. I could never do digital art. I was, I don't give a fuck about it. You've never explained this to any of us that you can do this period. And now like both of us are like,
Yeah, I thought you were just like, your only talent was screaming. Yeah. No, I mean, now I haven't drawn since 2009, 10, and then I broke both my hands. So...
I want to see you draw something. I just kind of, I was going to do like college. I tried to actually go to full sailing university out in Florida. I just picked your back. And then I was like, yeah, army shows us his old work. And it's like that bad Jesus rendition. You know, the old lady that tried to fix the, I used to be super good at painting. It's like, that is awful.
I spent eight hours shading the upper lip alone. Oh, God. Good job, baby. It's like when John brings me home art and he's like, look how good I did it. We'll put that on the fridge. That's going on the fridge. Little guy loves you. Oh, it's macaroni. It's you. Oh. Oh, where? Where on this painting is daddy? It's right there next to the dog.
I gotta start over. My sense. I can make a new one. Better. Stronger. Faster. More artistic. Oh no. You already have one of those, right? I've wanted to do that joke so long. It's just that joke of being like, I show a drawing and it's really bad. I'm like, the doctors say he's artistic. I don't see it. Oh no.
And that's it. It's like a simple punchline. It's to the point. If you know it, you know it. If you don't, hmm. Oh, man. Boy, oh boy. Yeah. So there's that story. Well, there we go. Now we're here. We've got multiple video games to be mad about. Guys, whoa. Video games on the Unsubscribe podcast. Are you sure you want to do this? Where do we start first? Come. New world. Dick jokes.
Oh, I just noticed. You drew the dick on my fridge, right? That was you, probably. There was a dick, like, one day after the podcast. I'm like, there's a veiny cock drawn in marker on my fridge. Oh, it's veiny. Yeah, it's super veiny. Wait, did it have a three-way veining?
It's got a solid curve and then it's got like a bunch of... Oh, see, a bunch of probably don't have... It's not one vein. No, I draw very vascular penises. Oh, see, I draw a dick with a one wishbone vein. You know the... Called the wishbone. The wishbone vein. I mean, it looks like a wishbone. Think about it. Like one...
Yeah, I know what a wishbone looks like. I'm just like, why did you call it a wishbone? I don't know, because visually for the people that are listening to this podcast that are watching it on YouTube, they now have that. I mean, even if they're watching it on YouTube, it's not like there's a cock on the screen with a baby. I'm sorry.
Look, can you just real quick just get, just knock on the door. Show me a river with it splitting in two. Just like a, and then, like some Sesame Street shit, like, today's letter is Y. With a sideways. Okay.
Count Corky on the road. Don't put us over here on five, man. There we go. See, now I feel better about talking about being a man. We got the dicks up.
But you did mention the comm too. I mean, well. I mean, you just said the words. What does it count? Video games, comm! Okay, Jake Burns! Comm in video games. Have you ever seen comm in a video game? I mean, ones that are 18 and up. Oh, gotcha. We're not talking about Newgrounds in the early 2000s, not those kind of video games. I know all those. We all know all those. I think Mario 3.
Right? No. Mario? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Luigi's Mansion. Yeah, Luigi's Mansion. Spraying all that little gun in his. Ectoplasm. It's to kill the ghost, not to repregnate it. Oh my God. It's like a hentai. No. This one's going to make fan fiction. Oh, Batty with Tentacle Porn Go. That's all I want to see now.
But like a good artist. No. I mean, that's already out there. Bro was drawn it like 14 times. Oh, perfect. Oh yeah, Bro has that weird. Yeah, he's got a fetish with me. He's like, and then Bro's like,
- Turned off his stream. - Yeah, Batty, look at this genital weird going. Did you meet Canyon's voice? - Oh God. - No! - Oh, speaking of meet Canyon! What did he do this week, Eli? - Demon Slayer! - I didn't see, wait, he did Demon Slayer? - Yes, you didn't watch it yet? - No, I didn't watch it yet. - And now Batty's watched it. I love meet Canyon so much. - I feel dirty.
Water attack! Water attack! It's so simple and the sound design is so good. Meat Canyon is just... We haven't explained... So who is Meat Canyon? He's a friend of ours now. He came up here and he shot some guns with us a while back. He takes your childhood cartoons and turns them into the darkest, most uncomfortable things ever.
So uncomfortable. Google Meat Canyon Blues Clues. You'll thank me later. No, you won't. Nobody will thank you. That was like the darkest one I've ever seen. Bro, that ending. That's all I'm going to say. You're like, oh, God. I don't say, oh, God, like much on videos. This is one of the few times I got an oh, God out of me. I was like, oh, God. Oh. Oh. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
All right, buddy. Dirty. But he's done, uh, Ed, Ed, Natty, Teletubby. Ed, Ed, Natty was fucking. It's wild. There's two more. Ed, Ed, Natty is two. SpongeBob. SpongeBob is probably, that's his most, I think that's one of his most popular ones. Tom Brady. Tom Brady.
Oh, my God. The Tom Brady is so good. Wasn't there a Thomas and Hayden? Yeah, that was one of his earlier ones. Pinocchio? Yep. Classic Pinocchio. Classic Pinocchio. Oh, God. Save me. Save me from this demon boy. Where's the match? I need a match.
I need your flesh and blood only, bud. I must consume you. It's so good. It's awful. It's fucking awful. I love it. Best content ever. But,
past the YouTubes we've had the tubes all the video games have come out recently it's not really all it's just like three three and I even fuck up but we've played these video games we have wild and I'm not a fan bro I was any of them did you see what happened in New World right now new life new what is it New World New World's a big MMO that just came out it's um people already falling off call it I mean no shit
Because there's no fucking in-game. Paddy, did you read that, like, the level of the quest from, like, 40 up? No. No, I don't read about video. I just play them. And I don't even play them anymore. I know, because it's their job now. So we're like, the only time we play video games is when we are streaming. Usually. That's what I was complaining about yesterday. I was like, I just want a video game to, like, suck me in again. Like, I want to enjoy fucking playing the game. Ghosts of Shibboleth did it.
Shooshy Ghost actually did it. Yeah, Ghost of Shimo was the last time I really enjoyed a game off stream and then I stopped playing it because I forgot. I'm on the last act and I spent six months. Literally, it's what happened. Oh, no. When's the last game you played that was like off stream? Dude, I...
I don't know. I was in a... No, I never even played Sushi Ghost. I played... Tarkov probably was one of the only ones I played off-stream for a while. But, like, I want to feel those, like, 2007 World of Warcraft vibes. Like, I want... I don't know. I want Wrath of the Lich King to come out again and just be like, oh, this is so fucking awesome. I remember BC coming out. When Burning Crusade first came out. Is that in WoW Classic? Yeah. Yeah, they just released Burning Crusade in WoW Classic.
Yeah, but you can't go back and play. You can't. I was so psyched about WoW Classic coming out, and I got on there, and I was like, it's been two hours, and I'm level 10. It is fucking soul-crushing. It's so grindy, man. Back then, that was a new thing, and it was like, this is cool as shit. I need to do this. Plus, back then, games were a new thing, and it was always something new. It was a new experience at that point. At this point, everything's kind of...
been done a little bit and you know what you like you've been fucking game in 20 plus years that's true so like now we're like i mean i want that new thing to capture but like when the fuck it's 2021 when the fuck is there what is something new gonna happen in gaming i think i think vr will be that next thing if they get a vr mmo that's dialed in i'll be like
Like, fucking .hack. Yeah, I'll be... I'll be the other big one in the anime. I'll look like Batty in, like, a month. Like, red hair. Hell. Don't you? What did you mean? I'm like, damn, this is great. And that's what sucks with, like, New World or whatever the fuck it's called is... I...
I remember texting you. I was like, I'm a little before I hate this fucking guy. Because it was Fetch Quest. That's the MMOs though. So the big difference, and this is what the FOH guys were complaining about. Who were the FOH guys? Fires of Heaven. Who were Fires of Heaven? They were the most powerful EQ guild of the time. Fuck you, Fires of Heaven. He said it, not me. There's a lot of guys, they fucked over people in their...
Dude, one quick side story. A guy came into their forum and was like, you guys saw this Afterlife or I think it was Afterlife. Afterlife was the other one. They're like, they're a way better guild. Fire was like, okay, this is this guy's IP address. Okay, here's his work. He was doing this at work. Called his employer. Said, hey, this is your employee. He's harassing us on the forums during work hours. So instead of working, he's doing this. Got fucking fired. Yeah.
Dude, this is like some, this is some shit that you don't see as much anymore, man. This is 2001. This is when people are like, oh, oh. Dude, I remember being on the fucking Star Wars, like the older Star Wars Galaxies. Oh, Galaxies. The original Guild Wars on those forums and shit. You got, guilds were a big deal back then. Bro.
Is that a still thing? Is there still guilds? Is that a thing in gaming still? Is that a thing? You guys have guilds? What's your favorite guild? Put it in the comment thing. Do they have forums? Yes, forums still exist. I think Discord's bigger than actual forums. Ooh, you know what? That's probably true. Well, I know they have forums because I've seen them. I'm still active on FOH still. God, you are such an old fucking man. Bro, I still like... I go and read on FOH because it's...
It's the people I've grew up like I've known those guys since 2001 so I'm like oh I recognize these names I recognize and the posts are always good Eli what's your forum name? Don't tell me this shit that's fucking old school now it's Eli underscore double tap that's the identity that died a long time ago and I'm never bringing it back because I go back and look at that stuff and I'm like woo
I'm so thankful that I went under this name and alias back in the day. Was there a 69, 420 or a lowercase or uppercase X's in it? No. Do you remember the days of the lowercase X's in between letters or the uppercase X's?
I had a Modern Warfare 2 tag that was like that, like little x big x name. Yep, absolutely. Mine for the longest time was always crazy8 or crazy802 with a spell with a case, Kyle. But it was always little x big x crazy8 big x little x. Like old school gamer tags. Weird we got late, period. Wait, fuck that last comment thing. What was your OG gamer tag?
That's what I want to know. I want to know everybody's OG gamer tags. Put your awful, cringy OG gamer tag. And if any of you say like dog wiener 420, fuck you. Yeah, like the old, old school. I remember my, like I had Venedon. It was an old EQ character. Okay, okay.
I had an old D&D. Gutsu. Of course, Gutsu. Of course. Yeah. I had a... I was in Maribidum for a while. It's like some demon in hell or something. I don't know. I read it in a Spawn comic. Oh, that's fucking gangster. Hell yeah. See, this is cool. Yujiro, back in the day on my...
That's wow. That was classic wow. Like back in the day was Yojiro. My guild was always Corazon. It was just an old D&D thing I used to do forever ago. And I used to make it all my RPG character names. Yeah, I forget my old... I had like Venetian and something else. There was another one that was like, this is the name I use all the time. This is what I did. I forget it. And this was like going back in a new world.
reading on past level 40 everyone was like yo got my money's worth that's what everyone says yo 40 bucks okay okay level 40 they're like i'm not gonna play this game to level 60 or ding it because these are the worst quests i've ever seen and there's fetch quests don't get me wrong but don't imagine best fetch quests that you have to run out
You know, in cities now, in like hubs, you get all the quests, you do them, and then you come back, and then you pretty much turn everything in instead of hub. These are one guy gives you one, and you go far, come back five times to six times,
Oh, so you can't, like, stack quests. You're doing one at a time. One dude's giving you a shit one. So it's almost like a linear quest path. And it's boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, done. And then you talk to the next guy, go to the exact same area. Or they won't say the word. One guy was like, man, I didn't read...
the quest, all the detail, right? So I went to the wrong zone and was like, what the fuck? I did the wrong instance. Didn't get it. I was like, what the fuck? Oh, wrong instance. I was supposed to get this one. They have the exact same names though, other than the last word. So it's multiple names with one word at the end that changed.
And then they just said, that's every single quest for that game. At the end, and then level 60, there's just jack shit. And I said, after a few weeks, there's going to be a huge fall off. And then all these servers are just going to merge. Yeah. They're dead. Or they're going to have to merge. And that's what's happening.
Do you think it was like a money grab on the developer's part? Like, let's get this game out. I wouldn't say it's a money grab. It was just, it got overhyped. Yeah, yeah. The same thing that happens with most games on Twitch. It's the only, we're in a huge, awful game drought. Like, there's just not been a lot of, oh my God, games coming out. And this was like the next big MMO. Yeah.
And, of course, every Twitch streamer jumped on it. They were playing it nonstop. And a lot of these Twitch streamers never really did true MMOs, like back in the day, or they didn't understand...
See, I don't think that's it. I think you're looking at it... I think they did, but again, we're looking at people who have been playing the same two games, the same three games. It's something new, and they're grinding it out because that's what you do on Twitch for fun sometimes. And for streamers, there's... I don't know what they're called. They're called companies or guilds, and you're doing these big war events. Yes, that looks fun. And that's where everyone's saying the game is great. And so we're having like...
streamer versus streamer, server versus server type shit. And I think that's where a lot of... They're doing, like, daily wars, and that's keeping the Twitch audience, the Twitch streamer audience, sucked into the game. Which, yeah, will it die? Probably. Because I made it to level 8, and I was like, I don't care. That's the hardest part. And MMOs, unfortunately, if you played one MMO, you played fucking every single one. There might be, like, changes throughout it,
but that's about it. And this game did apparently PVP pretty good, but they,
They were saying he's awful. Yeah. The PD is apparently that's what sucks. You're talking about these big world events for these streamers are going against streamers, but there's probably more people that want PV more than PV. So they're just fucking that one. Right. And that's where everyone's dropping out of it. I love raids. I fucking love giant rates. Oh yeah. About you. Yeah. I was reading molten core and black wings. I solo played most for the longest time or maybe one other buddy.
I would PBE MMOs for the stories. That's why I never got into WoW because I was big into Star Wars, Little Republic, Galaxies, Rift World, Guild Wars, games that had like a really... You could solo do things and it would just team you up for the big instances. But...
I've never been like, I'm going to be in a clan, we're going to raid. The only time I've ever done any of that kind of shit was when Destiny came out. Oh, yeah. And even then, that's so light on the MMO scale, it's barely there. 14, Final Fantasy 14 had one of the few MMOs where I cared about the story because it was so well done. Like, Final Fantasy 14's story was...
good it was fun like and whatever class you go for that is its own story so it's not like one story okay i was 14 because you talk about it a lot i've never played it original the original what compare okay compare it to seven or like 10 because those are my final fantasy games 7 and 10
10 10 story wise it's like it's 10 yeah above 10 in story and each job has its own story so like as a thief you're you're in this huge story with cut scenes with a story arc everything going on and each you need to group up play with other players no you can solo it you can do both that's why I had fun I have I
I forget how many hours. I put in hours on that game, and I was like, oh, I want to play this more. I just haven't. One of the few MMOs that I enjoyed. I might play this. Bro, I would play with you. How old is it? The graphics are the next... If you haven't seen the graphics, that beats almost any MMO out on graphics. It is beautifully done. It's Final Fantasy-scale gameplay in an MMO. And the combat mechanics are great. It came out in 2013, 14? No, no, no.
It was newer than that. 10, and then they did the remaster. Okay, I'm thinking of the remaster. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. And then they keep updating graphics of the game. A new expansion drops next month. Oh, maybe. And the combat systems are fucking fun. They're so crap. Is it turn-based, or is it open-world combat? What was the newest Final Fantasy with the car and the prince? What was that, 15? 15. That one was fun. I had fun with it. Did you beat it? No.
I didn't beat Sushi Ghost either, though. True. I have trouble finishing story games at this point. Final Fantasy XV was a rushed... I've never seen a game rushed so bad at the end where it was like...
Play the fuck out of that game. I like beat it. And I was like, man, this is like one of the best. And it hits what would be disc three where it's like, I think chapter 14. So you have this everything story arc that's coming together and you're like, fuck yeah. Right. I get to find out what the fuck's happened with the princess, with the soon to be king. Yeah. And then it's like something happens and then you go, you, you, you fight a battle, you get pulled down.
And then you wake up 10 years later. I'm not joshing you. You're not joshing me? I don't know why I said that. I ain't joshing y'all. I ain't joshing y'all. What the fuck was that? I am so sorry for that. Are you 40 yet? Eli's going to be the first one in our group to 40. I'm going to be the first one dead. So you literally 10 years go by in this game. Your guy goes, oh, he disappears. Wakes up on a beach 10 years later.
I'm like, what the fuck? Why is there's a chapter where you were fighting a boss beforehand? Yeah. And then it's just like, yeah, gone. You win. And then you're like, any circle cases you. And then you wake up 10 years later. I'm not joking. I wish I was fucking with you when I was Josh. I wish I was joshing you. I wish we could drink our Ovaltine right now and talk about it. But you wake up 10 years later on the beach drinking.
And you're like, what the hell? And he's like, I got to stop this. And I was like, what the fuck just happened? There's a decade passed. And you walk forward and you meet your old group of friends. Yeah, same like four dudes, three dudes. Yeah, who should be like, if you disappeared after we fought something and now you just came back, I'd be like, fuck, what the fuck? Tony's gone! And you're back.
Where have you been at Johnson College? I had to raise Johnny, you piece of shit. Johnson Marine. Side note, you owe a lot of money in Robux. Not gonna lie.
Also, we have some sweet merch for your death and missing. Your funeral was beautiful. You outsold Scott when he blew himself up in the 50. It was crazy. Bro, you just won at life. Well, final, but where were you? But they don't. You walk up to your group of friends. You find them on the road and they're like, oh, hey, we got to stop this bad guy. It's like, yeah, I know. We got to stop it now. And then you drive to the last boss battle. A year later, the realista expansion would explain everything else. I was like...
See, I didn't get it. I made it probably halfway through the game. Like, I had a lot of fun. The car was dumb. But the story was good. But overall, it was good. Yeah, I had a lot of fun. Bro, it was the hardest fall off, like, I had ever seen. And I text Anthony Birch, who writes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the one that wrote. Not Left 4 Dead. Borderlands. Borderlands 2. He wrote Borderlands 2. He's the one that created the boss for that. So he knows his story.
I warned him. He was beating me. He was like, oh, in chapter 10. I was like, bro, just stop now. He was like, why? I was like, you're going to see what happens after 14 or 13. And then he texts me. He's like, what the fuck, Eli? I was like, I am not trying to keep... He was like, you're just 10 years later, and then everyone's like, what's up, buddy? Long time no see. Lazy writing? Or budget cuts? That's what happened. No budget. They probably ran out of time, so they said that...
But yeah, I mean, Final Fantasy 15. Maybe I'll try 14. And then New World. We should all play 14 together.
I would play that. I'd be down with it. I'll play it tonight. I'll fuck with it. Yeah, I'd be down with that. I would fucking throw down on some 14. I'll download it as soon as we're done here. Because I'm the thief class. I'm only like... Is there a wizard? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got red mage, blue mage, blue mage. You can't be a thief. You gotta be like a barbarian. No, it's gotta be a hunter. I'm gonna be a... They're like range classes. I don't know. Bro, we got it. Ranger and bow. We got the tattoos. Bow and gun. There's some... The Adventure of Frogs 3. Rad, bro. I'm down. Let's fucking drive, man. I'm down to drive, dude. Absolutely.
I just need something new that's not going to make me want to fucking smash my face in my desk. This story is so good, and the cutscenes are so good. Like, it's... Wait, wait. Can we watch the cutscenes in the MMO? Yeah. They all... The amount of MMOs where people just...
they don't read the quests, they just spacebar through everything. That's why I troll most because I don't... That's me playing WoW. Yeah, exactly. Because it's fucking... I don't give a shit about fucking Mary and his dying husband. I do. I want to know. I changed his area.
Ashes will say this so many. When I play Skyrim, I read every book. I read every line of text. I know what's going on everywhere in the world. This is why I started with MMOs, because I love the story or the RPG elements of the game, not the MMO mechanics, which is why I've always played the game solo. Rewind. You read the books in Skyrim? I have read just about every book in Skyrim.
That's the Argonian made. Chomp. Oh my god. Ostrich mustard in there, right? Oh shit!
That was a throwback, dude. That was like the first time we talked about MMOs. Yeah, that was like episode three or some shit. Oh, man. How far we've come. Come, Charlie. Back to coming. Speaking of coming, how was Far Cry? Oh, yeah. So... So, according to something Far Cry 6, right? I put 12 hours into the game now. Okay. Yeah. Is that the entire story? No, no. I've been doing a lot of side quests because they're pretty interesting. There's some good writing in there.
Far Cry 5 is way better. I'm going to throw that out there. See, I hated Far Cry 5. Oh, man. It felt like it was a step back from Far Cry 4. You think so? Which was a step back from Far Cry 3. That's what people keep saying in the stream.
I think what happened is they spent a lot of money on getting Gus to be the bad guy. The chicken man. And then they just like kind of to sell the game and they just kind of fucked off with a lot of the other elements. It's the same engine as 5, isn't it? Yeah, and
One of my big gripes about it is when you kill an enemy, you can't take your gun. They don't drop anything. What? Yeah. You have to find your guns and chests around the map or you have to buy them. You can't loot people anymore. You can't loot people. You walk over them and you get some pesos.
And like maybe some bullets, but that's it. So if you kill a guy with an RPG, you can't take his RPG. You have to get the RPG later in game from a vendor by upgrading. Oh, this is another thing. Fallout 4, you know, they had the, you build your base up. Yeah, absolutely. That's what Far Cry 6 has. You have to build your base up. You go into third person when you go into your base and you have to build your base up and it gives you more stats and it gives you the ability to buy more weapons and stuff. But some of the cut scenes, dude, looks like Far Cry 1.
Like they were really lazy on some of the cut scenes. And like I said, I think they spent all their money on hiring Gus as the bad guy. And they just kind of fucked off with a lot of other elements of the game. What I've been doing is I got the, you get the M14 at like the very start of the game. Yeah. Throw a suppressor on it, throw a red dot on it. You know, you take over bases to win the game. Yeah. You go to a base, you don't even have to sneak. You just walk into the front gate and go headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, flag raises. It's your base.
every single base and I have 12 hours in the game. All I have to do is walk in and headshot with the M14 because you get armor piercing ammo. So even the juggernauts, you headshot them once and it's just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. When that base goes. What has happened to games? I don't know. You remember the stories in Far Cry 3 and 4? Like Far Cry 3 on the island was Viz, right? Was that 3 or 4? 3. And then 4 was the Himalayans.
Oh, you're right. I didn't play much of that one. Boss. He was a fucking badass. Dude, that was such... The stories in 3 and 4 were amazing. And then 5, I just felt like it was 4 in a different place and they took away things. Why are games easier or harder? I don't know at this point. They're just removing... We'll say. Well, now I was going to bitch about Battlefield.
We're going to get to Battlefield. We're going to end this podcast with Battlefield. Because I got some words. No, Matty has some words. They're just removing shit. Oh, go on. No, no, no. I just got to point this out on Far Cry 6. You can sprint and slide. Dude, that fucking makes me want to do that. Dude, that pisses Matty out. I don't mind sprint and slide because I do it in the military sometimes.
I run, when I'm up, he sees me down. I use that one. Yeah, but... I'm like, bam, lay down. But... And then I would jump, and then vault, and then... Run up the side of a wall. Yeah, I do that. I'd take out my grappling hook. Oh, my God. John, if you were in the army, you would know about the grappling hook. Everybody had grappling hooks. I was never deployed to Iraq. They were Iraq only. That's our next...
find our unsubscribed shirt I took out my grappling hook and purchased it that's all it says I took out my grappling hook so Eli got his purple heart yeah he tried to grapple into the third story of buildings grappling hook and that function speaking of unsubscribed we're soon coach we're soon bunker oh yeah we should probably go to a certain bunker
Yeah, for branding. No! Dad jokes. I don't know. Games feel like they're just taking shit away like one by one. I don't know.
for me i'm either not good at games anymore or the game is so stupid simple dude you don't need to try and the thing is i don't like just turning games to like the nightmare difficulty where things where everything's a bullet sponge because that's all that that difficulty in games do now it just turns everything into well that instead of one headshot it's 14 headshots it's not fun and you can't get hit anymore and it's just not fun that's why i don't i don't know
I don't know. It's like what we were talking about the building system on that. It's just...
They'll implement something. It's like a team is just like, oh, this is a cool design and just throw it in without building that design out at all. It's a cool implementation. We'll just add it and not worry about it though. Because you said that it sucks. Yeah, it's not cool. I don't want to say it's overly complicated, but it's like they could have put more time into other aspects of the game other than like, let's build a base. I don't give a fuck about building a base. It's Far Cry. Yeah.
I just came to shoot shit in the face. I want to get on a four-wheeler with a machine gun, fly off a cliff, shoot a dude 14 times, jump off the four-wheeler as it runs into somebody else, pick up that dude's RPG, blast the lion that's attacking me. Like...
Right there. You just said a good game. That's a game right there. That's a trailer. There's a cougar coming at me. If I just read a page from a video game, like the old ads used to be, where it was just... Old school Game Informer. Dude, just like that. And I opened the page and it was just like a dude like bloody and it just said, I want to jump off an ATV, murder a man, grab his RPG and kill the lion that's attacking me. I'd be like, my God.
I gotta buy this thing. I gotta try and sell what this is. Princess Island? Fuck yeah. This is gonna be dope. I will be the princess. It still has some of those chaotic elements in it. There was a prisoner transport truck yesterday and I shot the driver once in the head. He stopped. I let the prisoners out the back.
a coyote ran over and killed one of the prisoners and then a fucking like deer comes out of left field and starts attacking the coyote and then I have a pet alligator that started you have a pet alligator you do get a pet alligator and you get that little dog the dog with the wheels that's making every animal lover furious wait really dude holy shit is there a shitstorm going on on chorizo's the cutest you know his main ability in that game murder
No, no, no. He's a little, he's, you've seen him, right? He's got wheelchairs back like somewhere. Yeah. He'll go up to enemies and he's so cute. The enemies will like reach down and pet him. So you can murder the enemies. It's a cool, that's, I mean, it's got his cool parts too, but it's, it just sucks when it's like, it's not on there. Yeah. Like why are you, why do you have to be mad about this?
But yeah, Trezo is the fucking best. That little puppy is so fucking good. See, side note before we bitch about Battlefield. I'm a bitch so much. Metroid. New Metroid came out and it's apparently fucking good.
2d metroid i played 2d metroid no it's like scrolling side scrolling metroid and everyone's like yo metromania this is how it's supposed to be like all the reviews are nine and up and i was like damn i love metroid my old school platformer bro those i love those especially the rpg element they're like it's tough there's puzzles or stealth elements i was like okay you've got me excited you can customize like samus's suit and shit i'm like
Like Switch? Yeah, Switch. Is it on PC? It's just Switch. There's a new Pokemon game coming out this month. Is there? Pokemon Shining Diamond and Brilliant Pearl. It's a remake of Diamond and Pearl. Oh, there's a... Okay. See, every once in a while there's these good games. I'm like, I can't wait. Don't fuck this up. Because right now there's a gaming drought and right now there's no fucking anime on.
Because all you do is watch anime. Yeah. You just film and then only watch anime. That is my... You play COD for an hour and a half in between those two things, and that is all you do. That is my rest at night is anime. When I... Eli, it's eight hours. I don't sleep, Maddie. That's my sleep. My brain turns off, and I memorize what's going on. I'm like, man, I feel refreshed. I start my day again.
What did we just talk about? Battlefield. Oh, Battlefield. It's time. Yeah. It's time to talk about Battlefield. I fucking... I'm not... Battlefield 2042, the new beta. So, Battlefield 2042 is coming out next month? Next month. Yeah, which is amazing to me. Next month. Next month. Yeah. And everyone's defense is beta, Eli. I'm like...
I will say this. Apparently it was an older beta, not like a recent. That's what they did say. So Battlefield 2042 is the new Battlefield game coming out. It comes out next month. They recently did a beta for a weekend? Wednesday through Friday. There you go, Wednesday through Friday. So you have a few days to play the beta. One map, a few guns, one of each class, sniper, SMG, assault, whatever, engineer, and a couple extra guns.
Batty loved it, first off. He was huge. I was so excited to play Battlefield because Battlefield, you have different types of games. You have your Call of Duties and you have your Battlefield. Those have always been the two shooters, like, forever. Right? Of course, you have your other weird one-offs here and there, but it's always been Call of Duty versus Battlefield. Call of Duty has always been the super fast-paced... Arcade. Arcade, yes, thank you. Okay, that's the word. I always called them Arena, Arena shooters. Like, you die, you spawn, you die, you spawn, whatever. Yeah.
Battlefield has always been the bigger game. Things have been slowed down. There's vehicles. It's such a 3D Battlefield. You have planes. You have people parachuting in. You have all sorts of crazy shit happening. And I love... One of my first loves for FPS is 1942. Oh, yeah.
Killer game. Oh my god. We used to have after school, in school we would play this on our compact Passarios. Like, we would do this in school. We had a computer course to play Battlefield. We fucking...
We would have LAN parties at school to play this. And Battlefield's always been just a slower game. The last Battlefield was a little rough. Battlefield 1 was still pretty fun. Battlefield 1, okay, okay, sorry. 2 is when I got into it. No, no, no, Battlefield 1, the recent one. Yeah, the World War 1. Yeah. Battlefield 1. And before that, there was, what, 5? What's that weird, that one was the one with... There was Hardline, which was...
Awful. Yeah. They removed that off the store. It's not even on there anymore. Battlefield 4 was the last, like, damn, I'm having fun playing Battlefield for me. So I was super excited for Battlefield 2042. Just in this game drought, holy fuck, new Battlefield game. Let's go. We load into the game.
And I'm going to say this. It was visually fucking beautiful. Stunning. Oh, yes. The game ran fucking great. At least for me. I have a good PC, but it ran great. I didn't have a single fucking stutter. Things were exploding. The terramorphing like buildings exploding. The landscape changing trees blowing up. Whatever. It was all fucking awesome. It was beautiful. Amazing. The game itself was like Call of Duty on crack.
I said, after I played it and I was talking to my buddy the other day, it's Unreal Tournament.
It fell versus 70, Stephanie, on a giant map. So I was like, I was explaining, I think it was to Casey. Casey has balls. Casey has balls? Remember in Unreal Tournament when you'd be like sniping or you'd be, it's like that close engagement with those weapons. Boom, boom, boom. But the fast Koga levels. Yes. Where you're like sniping, but it's quick. But the bullet reaction is instant. Now imagine that speed with the slowest bullets you've ever, where you're, imagine that with Koga.
Yeah, it was the fastest moving regular shooter I've seen. You said it was faster than COD. I went back and played COD and COD felt like I was playing Seraph. Warzone, the new Warzone. It just, that was slower. It felt like you were playing the fastest, like I say, modern shooter. So like normal guns-ish shooter.
The fastest modern shooter with the slowest shooting bullets I have ever seen in a video game. Like using the DMR or the sniper rifle. You can see your bullets. You literally have time if you're getting shot at to watch...
Because you move so fast in the game, you literally sidestep. And then the depth perception is so fucked. I was showing people on stream. I was like, guys, this is up. The field of view depth perception was very, very weird. 100 meters, which is 100 yards, looks like 300 to 400 meters. Like, I was showing my buddies. It was worse than Targov. And Targov's...
depth perception in that game is fucked it's so weird but this one imagine like optics and the 4x's and a lot of them don't when this says punches in it's like this to this you're like I have a 16x scope you're like that was oh my I was trying to use I was trying to use an ACOG and I felt like I was using a red dot yes I was like what is the red dot literally just covered anything at 50 meters up
It was, dude, the level of speed, unless you play it, and then you go play Warzone, because I thought Warzone was a fast game. When I went back and played Warzone, I felt like a god. I was like, I am Neo now. It's like going from Warzone to PUBG, if you still play PUBG. Warzone's like way the fuck up at the top of the scale. PUBG, being a slower shooter, way down at the bottom. Battlefield was so far above Warzone. It was...
I don't know. I just, I didn't understand it. They're trying really hard to be like, I don't know, like, uh, boy, the black ops too. Yeah. With the three. Yeah. I'm thinking of the grapple. Oh yeah. With that, which I don't even, they added a grappling hook to the game. They added a fucking grappling hook. Did you, I, we didn't even know the exploit. Did you see the exploit people do with it? When you jump off the big ass building, you jump and then you grappling hook.
on the way down to the side and it just fucking flings you at a million miles per hour to the ground and you don't open your chute because it thinks you're grappling. So you don't have to worry about the fall damage. So you hit the ground and your guy's like, you're like, ah!
Just screaming, flying through the earth and just showing people like they get behind full teams because it's like, boom, and the computer's just like whipping by back as they're whipping by and they like hit the back and they're like, okay, turn around and engage. Yeah, it's like an attack on time. You have an awesome attack. Literally what?
Omni-directional. Yeah, Omni-directional device. Yeah. Just doing that all over the map now. But it's supposed... I mean, it is futuristic, but I still don't see people in 2042 using grappling. Bro, if we're...
But they're still using basic training. Basic training right now, just 24 years, 20 years in the future, you got fucking Gomer Pyle geared up to the teeth with a grappling hook on his arm. This dude's going to launch himself, rip his wrist and arm off, and just fall to his death. It's a tackle type in basic training. I'm just imagining, like you said, the boot camp in 2042 when they're having to do that.
Is it on your arm? Because if you... Where is it? Is it on your waist? Or your belt? Yeah, you don't want to use your main hand because that's where your gun is. You've got to carry your gun. So you're strong. It's like you're just like... Drawn around through the air by your belt. Okay, we won't bend through basic training. We all have a rappel... In the Navy, did they have to do the rappel tower? No. Oh. I did that on a SWAT. Okay, so a rappel tower. Swiss C, Eli. You know, it's like...
That's part of basic training, right? Or is that aerosol? Yeah, either way. All I can think of is these motherfuckers, instead of having like the Swiss Sea in the tower you have to rappel down as like the scary part of basic, they're now like, I gotta
- You're gonna grappling hook offhand today, guys. - I'm just picturing fucking-- - Your old Johnny from Tennessee. - Johnny from Tennessee can't climb over the wood off of the ground. He has to launch at 50 miles per hour through the woods. - What? - I just feel like, it just, slam! - It falls on the wall, clap. - And he just, . - Okay, Johnny didn't make it. Next one up. - Oh no!
Don't worry, guys. I've been using grappling hooks my whole life. I've been trained for this, and he's dead. Like, what the fuck is... I don't know. You just fucked up. Grappling hooks are never going to be a thing. Stop trying to make them a thing. Also, side note, if you guys have a push-to-talk pedal, don't use it while playing. Oh, I fixed it.
Yeah. Oh, you fixed it. How was driving vehicles, man? You couldn't drive vehicles. I played it 10 minutes after it released at like two in the morning that one night. And I'm like, guys, what the fuck is this? I spawned in the game. It's like...
and i dumped all my ammo and i'm like what the fuck and i you know i spawned back in like maybe i'll restart the game because we all if you guys didn't know like when we use discord uh like a lot of streamers do we have pedals on the ground so we like put our foot on the pedal and that's our push to talk so we don't have to use another finger for it yeah
And so I was looking around and I saw other people doing it too. And I finally figured it out. I was just like, something's wrong here. A key is being pushed. Pedal. And I unplugged it and it worked. But I still was looking around and there was like two or three people just unloading. It was a huge deal because it wasn't just pedals. It was any USB that was a keypad. So whether you used a game pad, like, you know how you and Matt use game pads. Those were causing the issue.
Foot pedals, Razor Tataris, like the gamepad I use for my camera switching, that would have done it. Any kind of steering wheel that you have plugged in for a racing game you're not playing right now, that would have done it. Control stick joysticks for like flight simulators, you can't use any of those. Like any USB input...
that that was a spare key bind or it immediately thought any of those were controllers and it so it broke your key how is that the beta before launch though dude i don't get is like that's the one month you're telling me one motherfucker at that in their studio didn't have anything plugged into his computer well that's like my biggest fear is because final fantasy 14
Bad one. Very bad. One month before launch. Amazingly bad now, but very bad launch. When it launched on beta a month before it was out, I just remember playing it. I was like, nah, they can fix. Can they fix it in one month? Nope. Nah, it can't be this bad, right? This is not an input. There won't be input lag when you're actually playing it, right? Yeah.
I was wrong. I was super off. I was like, never mind. They didn't fix anything. That's my biggest fear with Battlefield. And I know the guys I play with are super stoked. It's beta. Eli's beta. I'm like, bro, you can say it's beta, but one month before launch is when it's cutting it close. The game's done. Bug fixes, sure. Elements of the game, I don't see them slowing it down. I don't see them...
And I hate it. I hate it. That's like you were saying there's a separation between Battlefield and the Modern Warfare stuff. Is Battlefield always kind of stuck to being realistic? Yes. And even in 2042 you're not going to have grappling hooks or any of that stuff. Meat shields. Also. Bullet sponges. Everybody. Just dumping an entire vector mag into somebody's point blank and they're like
Last bullet killed the guy. Yeah. Yeah, it's like that too, man. I will say, a lot of people didn't like the menu for kidding up your gun when you dropped in. So you were in-game kidding out. Yeah. Which is weird. It was very new. It was my ammo on the... On the fly. Yeah. I really enjoyed it because one of my biggest issues with a lot of these bigger games when there's classes or things like that, or Insurgency had the biggest problem with this, Insurgency Sandstorm.
you'd be playing in a big game battle mode whatever you'd be building your gun and kit the game would start before you finish that kit and it would drop you with your unfinished kit and that used to happen a lot you'd be trying to get out a gun you would be in game not quite realizing you're in game yet because you're still putting your shit together then you finish and you go oh this isn't
When I die, when I respawn, I'll have my finally finished kit. So this, I see why they did it, and I don't mind it. I don't have any issue with it. A lot of people hated this in-game...
menu for changing and fixing things out it's new i think it's a hit or miss because like warzone did it where it's like you build 10 loadouts and those are your things you run up you grab your loadout yeah and you're like okay i want this gun this gun this gun this gun that one i was like cool if there's a helicopter or something i can switch to ap rounds with my lmg and i can fuck shit up and switch to this reticle or this reticle done or go suppress
I think Battlefield's gonna do the same thing, because you have loadouts in Battlefield. Well, that's why... It just wasn't saving them in between games. Yeah, and you're like, eh, I don't have to do that. But you also didn't have the main menu to access your loadouts. That dog side note is the most OP. Those fucking running dogs, the armored dogs. Oh my god, the...
The fucking bossy dynamic shit. The bossy dynamic. The turrets. Yeah. They would just eat bullets. I'd be like, found one. Four mags later. And then you're like, the hell is that? What is this? A boss final? Final fantasy? You're just like...
Yeah, if you guys haven't played it yet, they have the Boston Dynamics robots, the scary ones. The dog things from guns on top of them, and they're just like, they destroy you. But yeah, like the dogs were the most, there's just so much balancing they have to do in between that game. I don't know, I was... It was all the same thing that seems to be the meta in most games recently. Fast fire rate, low recoil,
And then there's no fucking payoff. Sorry, like Warzone, Tarkov, all those games, it's like, I love Battle Royales now. Because when you win, you celebrate. When you get out of a rave, I didn't realize I won or not in Battlefield. You didn't care. You didn't give a fuck. No. I don't know what that means.
When you won, I thought it was cool. Reset? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you didn't even realize you were winning or not. I remember multiple games where we were like, oh, we fucking won! And then we were like, oh no, oh no, we were the losing color. Yeah, I was like 40 kills and like 3 deaths on one of those games. And we lost and I went, oh. Killed so many people. Shit.
But when you do that with like Tarkov, if you like murder a bunch of people and you have all that carry, you get something, you're like, fuck, I gotta escape. You win a good gunfight with a team. You're like, fuck yeah. You at Axeville and you're like, I feel accomplished. Warzone, we did four dubs last night in a row. We got four motherfucking dubs in a row. We were there. No, I was playing with Zexen. Get those boss servers when we know. That's what we call them, just boss. Last night we knew there was a bot
We were on one bot server because Callie was in the open getting shot at and three dudes started shooting him. Callie starts like zigging back and forth. He's like, you gotta make it and they're missing. He's like, what the fuck? I was like, that's a bot ass dude. He slides. He's using my LMG. He's never used before. He like stands up and he drops one. I was like, Callie, just find them. They're fucking bots. He like slides around and kills another. And then he jumps up and just stands there. And the guy's like, we gotta run away from this guy. He's really good. And he drops him. Callie's like, these dudes are bots.
It's like, it's just a bad, bad player. It's not actual bots. You guys just call them bots. Yeah, we call them all bots. It's gonna be an easy mode bot. You can like, just move and they're like, oh no, I'm scared. Poor kids. Oh, and we're wrecking them. They have families. We are wrecking those children and we love it. Not again, dad. God, man. Well, yeah, I don't know. I am... So you're buying it and you're gonna be playing it. That's your new stream game, right? I don't know. I just don't think it's gonna be...
I don't think by next month. Okay, so we didn't talk about one thing that's coming out with Battlefield 24-2. Portal. Portal...
So, it's coming out, the only way, the easiest way I think I can describe this is Halo Forge. When Halo 3 came out forever ago, it came out with a thing called the Halo Forge where you could change the maps. You could build your own maps. You could build your own game modes. You could adjust every little setting in the entire game. From the way the guns shot to, like, literally fucking everything. You could change everything.
Battlefield is adding a mode called Battlefield Portal where you can build your own custom game modes and just change everything. Including, hopefully, I think is what was talking to Cleo. Speed of the game. Like how fast people are moving.
You get that, you're going to have a fantastic game. I just don't... That with hardcore mode? Yeah, hardcore mode will help a lot, I think. But the only thing I'm worried about is, yes, Portal could be good for the game, but how much stream longevity can you get out of Portal? Playing custom games every day. You no longer have that... Because then it's not a server-based... It's not a server. So you hope your friends will... Your stream will play with you every day. Your
It defeats the purpose of, I think, those online shooters playing against other people when you're playing basically locally. I'm not saying it's not local, but whatever.
I don't know. So Portal seems cool and I'm excited for it, but I don't know if it's going to be enough to save the entire game. Yeah. I wish. This is hard. We're going to play Final Fantasy 14 later. I'm actually, I'm super excited. I will go home and download that again. Princess Dump Truck. Oh, guys and girls, if you haven't seen Princess Dump Truck, come here, Dump Truck.
Can I pick you up? Yeah. Hello. She might run away from you. Tumtruck, it's okay. I'm talking to that voice. She likes chasing pussy. It's okay. She cries a lot. Just put her on the table over here in front of the cameras. We have a new cat. This is my new kitten. She's almost six months older. What? Put her on the table, Maddie says. That was Princess Tumtruck. That was Princess Tumtruck.
She's got white claw everywhere. It's all over her too.
My cat is covered in white clothes. Either way, I got a new kitten. She's a little ginger kitten. She's like six months old, almost. And her name is Princess Dump Shark. I call her Lil' Dumpy for short. She's adorable and I love her. She hates Eli. It's okay. She's like Batty after man of night. How are you? I'm covering in white clothes. I'm scared. I'm scared. I can't sit on this anymore. It's fine. It's...
Yeah, we're at an hour, so this is good. That's us. Look at this. Look, we did a full episode. Oh, big shout out to our new editor. Hi, Fluk. So he'll be taking the reins. So you'll just see him like from now on. Well, you're not going to see him ever. He's on Twitch. Go give him some followers. Yeah, twitch.tv slash Fluk. Go give him some followers. See, I'm trying to help him out. That was smart. That was, look at you. Yeah, man. Fluk, we're not paying you this week. Yeah.
Yeah, that was a shout out. You actually owe us money now. So... You're paying exposure? You have to episode 10 episodes for free now. Give me free shit, you get exposure. 10 episodes for free, Fluck. Yeah, guys. Hi, we love you. Thank you so much.
You want to close it out? Do your sexy YouTuber voice though. I can't say hi, everyone. You can say bye. Bye everyone. Donut here. Oh, no. You try it again. Ready? Reset. Bye everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here.
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