25 - Purple Kittles 01:05:23

three two one what the fuck is this i don't wait how is this welcome to wait who bet donna sorry welcome to the unsubscribed podcast i'm joined here today by eli double fap and stage batty streams

God, I love your Instagram name can never change. Like, I want to start a new YouTube channel. But like, I want to make a YouTube channel. But like, do I name it bad? I have to stick with baddie streams now. Like, you have to. I have to. You have pigeonholed me. Thank you, Eli. Baddie streams, baddie streams, and then baddie on fucking Twitch. Don't blame me. You're the one that chose baddie streams on IG. Because I can't get baddie.

Whose fault is that? Oh yeah, because some chick has baddie, doesn't she? Some Instagram girl? Actually, the guy who has baddie on Twitter... Yeah, mine wasn't good either. The guy who has baddie on Twitter is like this chubby little round Asian looking dude. Dude, this is... Did you ask to buy it? Mine is... It says kiddles. Guess what it tastes like. Don't say kids. Diddles? No, what? Stop. Both of you. What the fuck? Oh my god.

It says kiddles. Why would you go kids? Diddles? Like, no! What? It's like a food. Who the fuck would name a kid or diddles? Okay, so today what we're drinking is Bang Mix. This is our new sponsor show. This is so bad. It's super sweet. Honestly, it's awful. There's sugar. This tastes like an... If you're looking for an energy drink...

That has booze in it that has no energy. This is like trying Kittles. They're caffeine free, by the way. It's just worse for loco. Why would you name it Kittles? Now that I think about this, this is not a good name. Who wants some purple Kittles? Kids. Not me. A lot of you are slurping on Kittles.

Guess what it tastes like, though. What rhymes with kittles? Skittles? Yep. Yeah, they probably couldn't say that. So why go with kittles? I have no idea. Could have gone with anything other than kittles. They're so sweet. So bad. I love pina colada. So I'm drinking frose rose because I'm fancy. Let's make an energy drink. What do girls hate? Let's rhyme it with grapists. What?

If there's not a grapist flavor, I'm going to be so mad. It's a grape podcast. I don't want to do another grape podcast. I mean, that one's way better than that. That tastes like Kittles. It's like a Kittles. It tastes exactly like Kittles. What's the last one? What is this? All right, guys, we have to drink this entire 12-pack of this podcast. Strawberry blast. Try the Kittles.

I hate that name so much. That one's awful. The Frosé Rosé is not good. Nope. I fucking hate it. That's fucking awful. That's not a Skittle. It tastes like boozy Fruity Pebbles. It tastes like a sour... Bang has never been, like, number one with... There's only one flavor I liked for, like, a three-month period of time. I was like, man, that's really... Is it the blue one? No, it's always Cherry Limeade for me. You like Cherry Flavors? Fucking Cherry Limeade is, like, my weakness. Bang is the only flavor I was like...

Three months, I'm like, I'm over it. Maybe if I drink it fast, it'll be better. How's the other one? That one's probably garbage. What's the last flavor? The last flavor is Strawberry Blast. That sounds terrible, too. We got Frosé Rosé.

Pina Colada, that's pretty normal. And then we got fucking the grapest kiddles over here. I got diddles. Diddles. Diddles, kiddles over here. They're so sweet, man. They're so sweet. People not fucking. I love sweet things. That's why I like White Claw and shit like that. But this is fucking awful.

This is like drinking Kool-Aid you make. Hey, Bang, you want to sponsor us for our beautiful review? Next episode, we're going to have some great things to say, I promise. Guys, do you like alcohol and children? Introducing Kittle. Why won't they sponsor us? We're so confused. Will this be the episode we get canceled on? It has been.

Seven and a half minutes. We're going to get started. It's not going well. Okay, so we'll start this one off strong. This is my subject matter. Fucking anime. We got two of the boys watching two new animes that I'm so stoked for. We'll start with Batty because you have watched The Berserk. Mm-hmm.

You watch the three Netflix movies? Oh, yeah. Okay. And he's read the manga. Batty's coming in here saying, quote, go send me one of your text messages. Berserk is just bad hentai. It's honest. For those who don't know what that is, that's anime porn for all my uncultured individuals. I want to know the porn Batty's watching if he considers that hentai.

Bad. The most vanilla. There's like a tit maybe once in a while. And Batty was like, oh, God. There was a lot of tit. There was a lot of tit. Yeah, there's a lot of tit. There's a lot of tit. What's the last time you watched these three movies, Eli? A lot of great. Wait until you read the manga. I've heard you tell me about it a bunch. And if you think the movies are hentai, that is like PG-13 of the manga. Oh, 100%. The manga is just like...

There's a lot of grape. There was a good deal of grape in the movies. Oh no. The movies, you're like, this is very tiny amount of grape compared to the manga series. Manga's gnarly. Which if you guys haven't seen it, Berserk, there's three movies on Netflix. Check them out. They're good. That third one,

Poor Derek Carver. Derek's like, I've never watched anime before. And then he watched those. You guys made him watch, that was like his intro to anime? Yeah, it was his three Berserk movies on Netflix. He's never going to watch anime again? No. He's like, this is just bad porn. This is bad anime. I don't like this at all. I'm sitting here watching it with Lori casually. She's like, what the fuck are we watching? I'm like, Eli. She's like,

This is an Eli movie. I'm like, man. Is a demon graping that girl? Oh, and that's so fast compared to how the Mango or the Episodic series happens. Yeah. Because it's three movies. I heard there's like an old 90s anime, right? And apparently... It's a lot more backstory. Yeah. Because you still don't know a majority of Guts' upbringing because they don't explain it. There's just a blurry flashback of him getting graped. Yeah. Yeah.

And it doesn't translate well. It doesn't translate. It's like that is Donovan who paid his dad like four silver in order to grape him. I love we're using grapes. Guys, we don't know what we're talking about. Just pretend it's not fruit. Yeah. Take off the G. Yeah. But that's like guts as a child. And then he kills Donovan. You didn't see that? No, I think it shows him kill him.

In like one of the flashbacks. No, that kills his dad. Oh, it's his father he kills. Yeah, because he finds out. Because he asks his dad. He's like, yo, what the fuck? He's like, yeah, I did that. And he's like, hey, dad, what you doing? Yeah, so he's like, huh? And he falls back. Dad fucking blocked. But Donovan is the dude that graped him. Grape's not funny, guys. God damn it. Solid start to this podcast. I don't know how to... Kittles and grape. Yeah.

This is why you shouldn't drink Bang Energy. This is really good for BangBuck. Our sponsor don't drink... Don't grape Kittles. Oh, man.

Oh, fuck. So Donovan did that, and then in the main gut, their next mission, Guts just straight shoots an arrow through his fucking neck. And then Donovan's like, oh. And he looks over, and Guts is just like, yeah, fuck you. And you're like, oh. And then going forward...

Because the movies are eight years put into three movies. Oh, see, I thought it was a couple years. I didn't realize how long. Well, mangas. Yeah, you missed a fuck. The manga, like, really. Because you don't even know Griffith's backstory with the older guy. The one dude that's like, Griffith, you're beautiful. The king guy. Yeah, there's, like, none of that explained. Is he, like, was Griffith one of the king guy's little boy boys? Yeah. I kind of picked up on it, but.

That's why he was so confident. I can beat them. The king was like, you can't beat them. The generals were like, I don't know how you're going to beat them. Griffith shows up and the king's like, mmm. That fucking boy. That boy booty. What did we call it? Boosie. There it is. There's the word I was looking for. Boosie. Boosie is that squirrel that everybody in Texas is obsessed with.

but that's what happens the beaver some may say so you miss a lot once you read the make now if you go back read the manga you're gonna be like holy shit i'm caught up on everything and it makes way more sense did you finish the first mostly there's a little left in there and this is not great so i'm hoping this strawberry is a little better let's see let's see it has the small it's like a fine wine rolled around a little bit um

Nope. I like that they put the three elements. It's like, yo, this has sodium, magnesium, and potassium in it. It also has fucking shit in it. Yeah. It's fucking terrible. Dude, it's not good. I'm sorry. These are not good. No. These are too sweet. It's unbelievably sweet. I just...

Like, White Claws, we can just... Or fucking... Whatever. The Seltzer... Who's our old sponsor? Lone River. Lone River Ranch Water. Ranch Water! You only remember Lone River? You were like, Lone River. I don't remember the rest of it. What was it? 20 podcasts ago. And then Donut, our boy, started watching...

Oh, shit. It's a long title. I know it's slime, but it was like I was reincarnated as a slime. That one time I was reincarnated as a slime. What do you think? That's so good. It's really cool. John and I have been watching it together and it's like super good. You got this Japanese dude and he's just like an everyday worker. He's a virgin. 27 years old. So good. Have you watched it? No, I haven't.

Bro, this is so fucking good. I wanted to, but I couldn't find like... This is episode one. This is like literally 10 minutes in. Yeah, a robber comes up to him on the street and fucking stabs him in the heart. Spoilers! And he's bleeding out. My character's dead. He's bleeding out on the street, but then he wakes up in like basically an MMO.

And he's a slime, just a simple little slime. He's like, where am I? What's going on? Like level one monster in a dungeon of slime. Yeah. And he started complaining about when he was dying. So this whatever is the AI that's like takes him to this thing. It's when you're complaining about stuff. It's build your character. She's like, I hate being I'm going cold. It's like resistance to cold.

Resist the heat. Yeah, heat, cold, pain. He's like, oh, I'm in so much pain. It's like, resist the pain. It's like, I don't want to die. Invulnerability. And he becomes this slime. And he's just like the ultimate being. But they give him the one where he's able to... Predator. Yes. They give him Predator.

He can absorb... He just literally go around a creature and absorbs it. We're talking like D&D fucking gelatinous cube style. He takes all their abilities and their strength and he figures this out super early on when he respawns. He's in the most powerful dungeon ever when he... He comes to life in the most powerful dungeon with the god pretty much of that area. Yeah. And they... Should I go further?

I'm just episode one. I haven't spoiled. Don't spoil all the good. Good. This is episode one. I want to watch it. Okay. So he just becomes the most powerful being in the world. Almost. I want to watch this. It's so good. Like he's about to get to the really good part where I know what's going to happen next. And I'm like, Oh,

I just got a season two. John and I benched like 10 hours of this. How many episodes are there? Is it like 10 or so? Like 46 total. Oh, there's a bunch. That's total. Total. First season is like, I think it's 12 episodes a season, I think. Dude, it's really good.

And he just keeps leveling up and leveling up and leveling up and like getting allies. And he's just the most powerful thing in the entire world. And everyone always doubts him. They're like, you're just a little slime. And he's just like, and just like kills everything. I want to say it's so bad on this, but I won't. But wait till he gets mad. You're going to be like, cause he hasn't gotten mad. He's like such a chill dude. He's like, well, I'm the most powerful thing in the world. Wait till he agrees to get mad.

And then you're going to be like, what the fuck? Like that was my first. I remember I was just on my couch like, what? This is the most dope thing ever. It's fucking baller. Oh, it's so good. And then the other anime that I would suggest is Tokyo Revenger because I keep hearing about Tokyo Revenger and I haven't seen it yet. Everybody I've heard that has watched it has said it's fucking awesome. So I have to going to have to do that for sure. Mm hmm.

Now, the only anime I really like, because I watch My Hero because they're coming out once a week. I watch, what's that? Demon School. Demon School. Demon School is hilarious. It's just a funny-ass anime. It's a human that's adopted by a demon.

Like the human is treated like shit. And he's like, oh, like literally just treated like garbage. And then the parents sell him to a demon for money. Yeah. Great parents. If you get sick of John, you can always sell him to a demon. I need to sell him to a demon. So the demons like takes him and he's like, he has this mustache curled, all that stuff. And he's like, hey, OK, your parents sold me to you. You're I'm a demon. He's like, ah, fuck. OK, yeah.

And he's like, here's your new room and everything. It's just, he, the demon lives in a mansion. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, will you be my grandchild? It's like, and he can't say no. Like one of the human, he's so polite. He's so nice. He's the kindest kid. He's like, okay. And he's like, I'll think the grandpa was like, oh, thank God. I would have had to kill you. Otherwise. And he's like,

But now he lives in a giant mansion and he's just now finding his grandpa's or his who adopted him as the most powerful demon in that realm.

And it's this human that when his first day of school, he's like, go to school. Grandson, I fucking love you. He's like, okay. He's like, blend in. I'll give you this ring. You can fend it better. So he's like, okay. So demons have wings and all this other stuff. So he like goes up to school. They sing the pledge at the beginning. The pledge is about murdering humans and how fun it is. And he's just standing there like...

Looking left and right, demons are around. He's like, I don't like this at all. And then the number one strongest demon challenges him at that school because he does something. He's like, uh. And he's really good at dodging and he can't fall.

So the demon's like throwing all this stuff. He's like dodging. And he beats him just by that. And then number one, demons like, I pledge my loyalty forever. You are my commander. And he's like, bows down and all that. And you have like, and that's how he gets all. It's so fucking weird. I love it. I love it so much. I'm like, yes, this is the best thing in the world. Jesus. What's the next subject? Oh,

We came into this podcast with... Guys, if you don't... I'm still just not over how awful this bang is. This is the worst fucking tasting shit. I had to drink Gatorade to wash it down. I'm sorry, Baterade. Can we say Gatorade? Gatorade.

Gatorade. Why can't we say Gatorade? I don't know. Are they going to sue us? That podcast has 10,000 subscribers. Gatorade is suing us. No more podcast. It's so bad. I'm not drinking it. It's awful. How are you drinking that? You just drink more than I did. You drink two. They're not empty. The Skittles are the best one. It's just sugar.

I hate this so much. I gotta finish one. Get it, get it. Yeah, yeah. Betty, Betty, Betty. I'm gonna throw up. No, it's awful. Betty, Betty. It's so sweet. Is there even sugar in this? No, that's the best part. What sweetener did they use? It's artificial everything. Alcohol from cane sugar. This has no ingredients. Carbonated water, alcohol from cane sugar, natural flavors, don't know what that means, citric acid, sodium, alcohol.

Acid, potassium, phosphate, dibasic. Diabetes? Yeah, it tastes like it. Sucralose. That's where it is. I definitely have diabetes. Sucralose. No, we both have diabetes. I have diabetes. There's no chance on how diabetes is. Betty has type 1. I mean type 2. Type 2. That's the one I forced upon myself. Yeah, not type 1. Which is apparently a big fight between those two.

I was looking online. I was like, my buddy was like, yeah, there's like a debate on type one versus a type two. It's like type one. You're born with type two. You've, you forced on yourself through bad habits. Like, do I need a third muffin? No, but like,

I want a second weapon. Oh, no. Okay. Matrix. Oh, yeah. The Matrix trailer came out. Yeah. Matrix Resurrection. Okay. Okay. So real quick. Matrix. Matrix Reloaded. Reloaded. Revolution. Yep. And then Resurrection or Resurrected? It's Resurrection. Resurrection. Yeah.

I don't count the last two. All I remember from those two movies is they changed the Oracle chick, the key guy was cool, and then they had a giant underground sex rave party. Oh my God. And then they had fucking...

Oh, there was the twins. They were pretty cool, too. That was the second one. Yeah. I forgot about Colonel Sanders. He was like the owner of everything. Yeah. The... What did they call him? Colonel Sanders. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they called him in there. Yeah. Colonel Sanders. Yeah. The creator. He was Colonel Sanders. The construct. There it is. Yeah. The guy that owns KFC. Yeah. Neo walked in. He's like, Colonel Sanders, why are you here? He's like, I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.

Batty, have you ever seen... What's his name? The Construct? Yeah, the Construct. Construct? Matrix? The Construct? Yeah. Batty. Oh, God. How many Matrix pornos are there with the Construct? All right. In the comments below, let us know the title of your favorite... The Architect. Yeah. Let us know your favorite Matrix porno name. Go. Dude, Colonel Sanders was the Architect.

Yeah, he definitely was. Yeah. Would you like my secret recipe? My secret recipe. 17 secret spices. So that's all you know how powerful that man was at business. That was all he was doing. He started KFC and then he started the Matrix.

And imprisoned every human being on the planet. They must like my 17 secret ingredients. Is that what the tubes into everybody was? Yes! It's just a unified KFC. Fried chicken. He's sitting in a bubble of the 17- Just gravy? Just gravy? Just gravy?

They wake up and they look out as fucking chicken drumsticks as far as I can see with humans attached. The crossover. I didn't know. KFC. The Matrix. He's up there like, yes, feast my children. They all have type 2 diabetes in their little pods.

Neo wakes up, he's just spooning fucking gravy into his mouth. Hermione, this is delicious. That's how I remember The Matrix 2. What happened? Why did The Matrix 2 and 3 fail so bad? Did they? I was not a fan of them. People didn't like those.

Didn't they rush them out one, then two? What happened back then? There was a big difference because you had the one that was a hit, and then it was a few years later, and then two and three have to come out. And you didn't have... I'm Googling it. Because one was 1999. I remember I watched it probably 93 times that summer. Oh, yeah.

And me and Jeffrey Langley's grandmother watched me, and we watched that so many times. That's the only movie we watched. We watched it every single day. Dude, that MP5 scene. I don't know if you guys did this. Did you guys get the mod for Mad Max? No, not Mad Max. What was Bullet Time Video Game? 13. No, it was Max Payne. Max Payne. Sorry, you're right. Did you guys get the mod for Max Payne to do The Matrix? No. The...

The lobby scene. So one of the first mods for Max Payne was the lobby scene in Matrix. You walk through the metal detector and you're Neo. And you just melt everyone. It was one of the best fucking mods of all time. It was one of the first mods I've ever downloaded back in then.

That was one of the first video games that really gave me nightmares. Because remember, his wife and his kid gets killed, and you're in his brain, and you're having to hop around these little spots in his brain. But his baby's crying. Yeah, blood trails. But his baby's crying the whole time. Yeah. And I don't remember if he was crazy or he was fucked up on something, but all you can hear is his baby crying, and you're trying to get to the room, and you finally get there, and the cradle's knocked over. And blood. Yeah, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, that was early...

God, that was early 2000s. 99, I think. 2001 or 99. That game is like, when did that game fucking come out? It was crazy because it was one of the first video games that featured slowing down time and dodging bullets and being able to shoot people. Slowing down time stuff. 2001? Yeah. It was such a good concept, too. It was the first because you have Matrix and then you had that. And that bullet time was fucking phenomenal back then.

I loved it so much. But Matrix 2 and 3, I don't know what they did at the box office. They didn't release in the same year, though. They were like back-to-back. 1, 2, and 3? No, 2 and 3 were a year apart. No, they were the same year. No shit. 2 and 3 were the same year? What year? 2002 or 3, I bet. 3. 2003, I'm guessing. Yeah.

Doesn't say the years. Just type in Matrix 2. Watch, I got you. Matrix 2 years 2003. Holy shit. Yeah, Matrix Reloaded was May. Revolution was November. See, it was real quick. Jesus fucking Christ. Damn, and those were huge budget films. Hundreds of millions of dollars, I think. $150 million. Holy crap.

That was Matrix Reloaded, 150 mil. Basically, everyone's just saying it's because they went too big too... Quick. Yeah, they just... They dumped as much into it without explaining anything. And it was visually fucking beautiful, though. Yeah. I mean, that broke the... Going into VFX, that was one of the first... I was going to say, oh, yeah, speaking of VFX, that's like the Bible just...

Yeah, a lot of bullet shots, bullet time. There was one director that did bullet time before them for a commercial for water or a soda. Fuck, I forget who they are. It was the only time bullet time's been done right before. And it was literally right before The Matrix. Then Matrix came out, they did bullet time, but then you had the 100...

Agent Smith. Yeah. Oh, yeah. A bunch of dudes that kind of look like Agent Smith. Yes. And then they did the 3D of them too. Yeah, that was the third one. When he had all the Agent Smiths standing around. The pole scene when he's just spinning around. Yep. I feel like didn't Kordor do a breakdown on that entire scene? It's just fucking hilarious that

I remember watching quarter, I think it was their quarter crew channel. Yep. Did it. And they break down like you just see tons of just random dudes that kind of look like Hugo Weaving, but aren't him. Just close enough. We don't need to do anything to your face. Good enough. Then there's like random parts of just guys swinging their fists at nothing because they're in the background. And it's like you don't see because it all happens so quick. But when you frame by frame it.

It's fucking hilarious. Yeah, it breaks down very badly. Yeah, it literally looks like a mosh pit circle. There's dudes getting punched when they're not actually getting punched because the choreography was just slightly off for the background stuff. It's like a guy was like, getting his face thrown, but there's nobody around him. Dude, when you watch stuntmen react, because they have that stuntman react, but you get to see how stuntmen are waiting for...

for their turn to get punch. Because they're like, if it is one character and you have everyone around that character, the stuntman will be like... They have to look action-y. They're busy. Yeah, they're busy. They're like, yo, yo, yo, ready? They fly off. And sometimes the stuntman is just like, I'm just going to fling that way. Anyways, he flings 360 and you're like...

I guess you got hit, whatever. But you don't notice in the moment. Yeah, it's like those quick scenes. Another one that got tore up for it because it wasn't quick enough was one of the last Jedi. I think it was the last Jedi, the new Star Wars movie. Oh, God. Where there's the... Oh, the last beat before... When all the Red Guards are fighting. Yes, with... Who's the Emperor...

He's not the Emperor. It's fucking Snoke. Snoke. The worst. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck that was. But they're all fighting there. Dude, this... It's hilarious. You get to see them, like, getting... They, like, flip for no reason, don't they? There's these background... Like, they kind of look like the original Star Wars Imperial Guards with the red garb and shit on. And they're all fighting Rey and... Kylo? Kylo. Kylo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fighting Rey and Kylo. And...

These dudes are just like doing back flips, getting thrown when nothing's happening or they'll incorrectly react to getting hit. Like they'll take a right hook and they'll fly in the opposite direction. And, um,

God, everything about the fight is so terribly choreographed. It's like me punching you right now and your head flings out. So I'm like, exactly. Or like there's guards, like there'll be a cool one-on-one guard scene fighting Ray. And then in the background, you see another guard just twirling his staff and flipping backwards and flying. You're like, what the fuck? Or they're just spinning. They're like, I got to make up time. So it's like a jazz squad in the background. Yeah.

Unfortunately for the movie with that scene is they they put so much emphasis on the on the scene and it was I

Not quick camera movements with it. So you easily pick up all this silly shit in the background with the matrix. That entire scene is rotations and the cameras moving. There's nothing really static going on. So it's your eyes are focused on the center of the scene. You're focused on Neo and, and, uh, uh, agent Smith fighting each other versus star Wars, where it's just like camera, slow move guy flipping. You see everything. No reason. Like, what are you doing?

And it's just like, ah, so it's cool to see like, or not cool to see, I guess. It ruins it actually. It clearly didn't ruin or didn't learn it from anything. I'm gonna have to go back and rewatch that. So the new Matrix, the reason we're talking about this, the new Matrix trailer dropped.

And it's very confusing. Uh-huh. Yeah. Is it? Or do you... Did you watch the teaser before the trailer? No, I didn't. I just watched the trailer. You want confusion, watch the teaser. Because it is completely different. They don't show... The teaser doesn't show...

doesn't show Neo, doesn't show Trinity. So you don't even, it doesn't even show those characters. Yeah. So you go into the teaser, like I went to teaser. I was like, I don't know a fucking single person in this movie now at all. The teaser was, why is John wick in my matrix movie right now? Yeah. They don't even show like anyone. You, you just are introduced to new characters. I was like, what, what the fuck is going on right now?

Do you think it's going to be a good movie or a bad movie? I think it's going to be really good.

I have a general idea of what I think happens. Oh, okay. Okay. I was not expecting that. I thought it was going to be awful to be totally honest. I'm scared. I'm terrified. It's gonna be an awful movie. No. So the third one, I just watched the third one with John. John wanted to watch the entire matrix series. And the third one ends with Neo. He doesn't die, right? No, he defeats Smith. And then the big God head of the matrix grabs them. They lower him down and take them away. And that's the last you see of him. Yeah. Because they agree, right? On like,

Free will. Yeah, you leave Zion alone and I'll defeat Smith for you. And that was their deal. Oh, versus, yeah. And so the new one, it looks like they reinserted him back into the Matrix. And he doesn't know what's going on. And they're feeding the other pill. Yeah, he's been taking the blue pills because it shows him throw them all out. It even shows him take blue pills.

And so he's at his psychiatrist, Neil Patrick Harris is his psychiatrist out of nowhere. And he's like, I'm having these flashbacks. I'm seeing all this stuff. And like, he's seeing the coding on the walls. And so I guess, I guess he stops taking his blue pills. And then that's when in the trailer, the new Morpheus shows up and he takes a red pill. And then it shows like all the crazy action shit. Yeah.

So he didn't even know who he was before then. They like wiped a bunch of his memory. Okay, okay. I had forgot how the third, I haven't seen the Matrix movies in, fuck, 10 years probably. Yeah. I just watched them like last week or I wouldn't have put all that shit together. Oh my God. That makes so much more sense. Okay, okay, okay. So it's him waking up a second time from the Matrix. Yeah, like what the fuck's going on? Same for. I forgot that it was called Zion too. Fuck.

Yeah. Do you think they left it alone, though? Do you think they really did? I don't know. They're probably still having big orgies in a cave down there. That's one of my favorite MTV skits that they did. Have you guys watched that? I don't think so. MTV SNL? MTV, the Zion skit with... Keanu Reeves. No, it is... Pete Davidson. Bro, this is... He wasn't even born then. Yeah, he was like two. When The Matrix came out, he wasn't even born. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What'd I say? SNL? You said MTV. MTV. MTV. MTV. Matrix. Parody. Oh, I was right. I was right. He's having a huge orgy at his place later tonight. At least that's what many of us have heard. Wow. There is actually a whole bunch.

Parody. Orgy. Because you said orgy. Yeah, because that's what it was. They were just fucking and dancing. That's the best part. That's literally an orgy. There was angry loud music, body sweat. Sweaty caves. Fluids everywhere. Yeah, dude. We could pause it and feel the music. The rivers flowed with cum that day. Yeah, they did. Who was the Andy... What's his name? Nolan August? Nolan August?

No, Andy, the blonde guy that was the weird one in a lot of skits. Andy... Oh, Dick. Andy Dick. Yep, that's it. God, you... Andy Dick? Isn't that the old dude? He had a TV show. He did at one point. Didn't he grape some people, though, and got canceled? Did he? Yeah.

I'm not surprised. Andy Green? Was it Green? Tom Green? We can't watch this. This is nine minutes. Okay, well, I'll send it to you guys. There's a lot of names being thrown around right now. I don't know what's going on anymore. This is the Tom Green show? Yeah, that is not my favorite show. That was a weird show. I'll send you guys this afterwards. We'll put it in the pocket. It's fucking ridiculous. I'll try to remember. It's Andy Dix. It's like, yeah, the orgies keep going. And they focus around.

It's all about that orgy scene where it's like, why was there a cave orgy? Because they were having a rave. Where else are you going to have an orgy? Patty, it's the end of times. You're fair. End of times. You're right. You're right. End of times. Okay. They eat oatmeal every meal. You see what they eat. Fucking a rave with an orgy is the highlight of their life.

So why would that not be going down? It's like they think they're all going to die. And then Neo wins. Everyone's standing around, covered in cum, and they're just like, Neo won. Oh, no. You have to go to work for that. They just start scooping off the cum. They're just sliding it off. You just...

That was an episode on Rick and Morty. Summer and Rick, they did the world ending party. Oh my God. And the world didn't end. So they kept going. So they kept going. Yes. But then the dude woke up and he's like, he fucked his dad, right? The little worm guy. He goes into work the next morning. He's like, well, the world didn't end, dad. And he's like, mom's not talking to us. Yeah.

It's the same thing that happened in the Matrix. Yeah, it's that awkward moment. You're like, oh, no. They're all like, oh, Neo, what? Fuck. It's like, hey, Steve, sorry about the cum. The cum. It's that next day at work when you're showing up to the office or college. Your cave office. Yeah, and you're like, oh, no. Steve, I need you in the office right now. HR needs to talk to you. So,

So apparently you came on a few people. You came on Steve and you gave Catherine pink eye. Uh, we all did. Yeah. We all gave Catherine pink guy. First off, Nia wasn't supposed to win. Yeah. We didn't know this shit was going down like it did. I thought it was the last day of our life.

So the matrix, the matrix, go check it out. Go check out the matrix. Oh no, man. I don't know. Hopefully it's good. I just worried. It looks good. I didn't like the, nevermind. It's back to anime. I hate the 3d stuff in anime. That is this way. I was thinking of a crazy 3d effects and shit like that. Cause of how awful they were and reloaded in revolution. And then I was like, I hope they don't do that again.

No, I think it's going to be good. I think it's going to be much better. It's a lot easier today with what we have available for VFX versus now versus back in the day. But it is very much budget dependent and then what VFX team they hire. And then you're just like, oh, brother.

Eli, can you do 3D stuff like that? Can you do cool guy 3D stuff? Have you not seen any of my 3D work? No. I've never seen your 3D work, actually. I've like... I've either. No. I have like renders of my 3D Tyrannosaurus like fucking biting people and stuff like that. Can you make a 3D Tyrannosaurus eat me? Yeah. Yeah. Can it be common? Yeah.

The render time. Yeah. You're coming in it. What did you say? You're fucking the Tyrannosaurus and it's like...

I know. I didn't remember this to happen. I render it out and send it to you guys. Step Tyrannosaurus. Why? Donut's like, I said I'm humming to it. I'm like, oh, that makes sense. I did a lot of render time for this. I already rendered this. I was just singing to it, Eli. I heard calming, not humming. Oh, my God. Betty gets either way, right? Yeah.

There's not supposed to be a Step Rex in it. Step Rex? Step Rex, why are you eating baddie? This is why we shouldn't ever film a podcast again.

Every time. Why do we keep doing this every week? Grape Kittles and cum. Like, what the fuck? They're on track for video game. This company wants to sponsor your podcast. That's going to be the first real sponsorship we get for the podcast. In the context, you cannot talk about dick or cum 10 minutes before or 10 minutes after the spot. It's like the meme with the kid with the red face and the veins are popping out. You're like, what?

Unsubscribe to trying not to talk about cum. Kill sweating a whole bunch.

No! These are fucking wretched. Yeah, guys, don't drink Bang Nix. These are the worst drinks I've ever had. We've been through like four White Claws by now apiece. I don't wanna, I can't finish one. I opened a second to see if it was better. It's not. I finished one. I'm still like a quarter. I'm literally like halfway through this and I'm like, this is a lot of sugar. It's just so sweet. They need way more alcohol if you're gonna make it this sweet. Like, it's not worth it. Where's the drink come from?

I'd rather drink semen.

We just lost another sponsor. You guys couldn't go 10 minutes without saying cum, could you? No, we need a word for cum. We have grape. I think cum's fine. Don't take this from me. I want some scrum and some kittles. I don't want kittles. I don't want kittles. Double canceled. No! I don't want to drink this one now.

You know what reminds me of Scrum Kittles. Purple Kittles. So the Matrix. That's so bad. Have you guys seen the Matrix trailer? Oh, man. And then we had MTG written down. Okay, first up. Baddie's got a rock. So, okay. You have a rock just in the middle. This is more than just a rock. Okay, okay. I told Cody about this when you were setting things up.

So, one of my viewers, JK Hunter, actually made the cool little care package for all of us. Hell yeah, dude. He gave me a Nintendo 64 and a bunch of games. Oh. I got a rock. I'm kidding. Okay, so it's not just a rock. So, if you're listening, fuck you. If you're watching on the screen, you'll see a little rock in a glass case right now. It is actually a piece of Dracula's castle from Romania.

Where I guess he has family and when he brought home a giant brick of it, because they used to apparently part of it collapsed and they used to just sell that shit as like a souvenir. You'd buy a piece of the castle before it became super illegal to do that. When he brought it home, it broke and he gave me a little piece of it and put it in this little fucking case with like a cross and shit on it and it's going to be part of the D&D room. Because that's spooky. Dude, that's fucking gangster. That's super fucking cool. So this comes from a dude in Kansas that is just hitting rocks in his backyard. No, he made this.

A guy in Kansas is breaking rocks in his backyard and he's like, this came from Romania. He made all of it. I'm joking. Stop ruining this for me! There's just a dude in Kentucky. He's like,

Okay, that's from Dracula's castle. That one is from Berlin Wall. Some nerd's gonna buy this shit. No one can verify this shit. It's fucking rock. We'll put it on a little... Fucking rock. Them geologists ain't real. Yeah, ain't no one know this shit. I'll put it in a nice box, mark up the price.

But it looks super cool. And that's really also super cool because the next big Magic the Gathering set is called Innistrad Midnight Hunt. And then one after that coming out November is called the Crimson Knight. What is Dracula's name? Huh? What's Dracula's name? Wait, wait.

Come on, this is your rock. What is Dracula's name? No, I just watched the Netflix show. I know, me too. I'm trying to remember his name. I haven't watched a Netflix show and I know it. Oh, this feels good. He really does people dirty. It's like Vladimir something. You got the first one? I know, I know his first. I can't think. It starts with a T? It starts with a T? Uh-huh. Last name starts with a T. You got Vlad, right? I know his, I can't, I don't know. I'm not going to just make it up. I don't know. Come on, it's like a dragon name. No.

Hammer. Warhammer. Think of it. Thor? No. T? T? Tempest? Tempest? You got Tempest for D&D. Tempest is for D&D. Tempest is for Vlad Tepest. Yeah. Do you know what made him baller? Because he impaled people on fucking sticks in real life. Vlad the Impaler. Yeah, Vlad the Impaler was Vlad Tepest. Right up their buttholes. Yeah, literally. That's what he did. And he practiced on rats.

In prison, he was locked up for a long time. If you have a kid and it likes killing animals, get him checked out because he's probably going to turn into Dracula. If you have a kid that's killing animals, fucking turn him in, period. Yeah, that. You should abort them. At 30s. At 360 months.

My kid's super into torturing animals. We gotta take him down, drop him off at the fire station. Drop him off at the fire station? Sir, your child's 13. I was just about to say. Yeah. Squeal off in your Hellcat. Alright, John, here's your new home. My kid doesn't torture animals, by the way. I'm throwing that out there. If your kid does torture animals, leave him at the fire station. Sir, he's 13. Yeah.

And he's irresponsible. See you when you're all grown up. Can't wait for Bud's Facebook. I'm out.

Oh, god damn it. Magic the God. Yeah, the new set, Innistrad. There's a set that comes out today, actually. I'm drafting. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to be part of a draft for Commander. You are so nerdy right now. Dude, I love this shit. What do you mean now? I've always been a giant nerd. MTV. But you never played EDH until recently. No, yeah. So I had played standard, regular Magic a little bit, like a tiny bit. Back in like 2003 or some shit, forever ago. Expensive format. Yeah.

yes empty sorry mtg is way more expensive than edh edh yes you can spend a fuck ton commander commander because you need one of every card and standard you need four yeah four of every card and you don't need four of every card but if you want to be competitive yeah you have to spend it's like i remember when uh frex or something like that came out so your decks are like thousands of dollars

Per 60 cards? 60 card deck, yeah. And that's like one, and then you have multiple decks to be competitive, and people take it fucking serious as fuck. Where EDH is not as... It's a competitive scene, but not as competitive. It's not as widely played. And you'll spend a couple grand. I didn't realize...

Like I told you, my Prosh deck, I was like, oh shit, I got like... Prosh the Skyrider? Yeah. How much is Mana Crypt and Mana Vault? Depends on what's printing. There's some that are like... Oh, I got this. Glory, expensive Mana Crypt. Expensive. Yes. 500-ish? There you go. 100 bucks. We need like four of them. Oh, no. So I have... Wait, Mana Vault is expensive. What, isn't it, Glory? Let me see. We're looking at... Oh, these are... Wait, no. Mana Vault. Mana Vault.

What is it? 500. Yeah. Mana Crypt, if you have one of the old ones. They're still only around 100 or so. But yeah. Yeah. But that's one card of fucking 100. I didn't realize how much mine were. I was like, get a beta edition of Mana Vaults around 9,000. 300 bucks. I have the $300 one. But still, for cards that are staples in the good shit. Dude, that Phyrexian Altar I sent you.

Yeah. So around 80 bucks on the, the newer printings like the, was it for XE and alter or what? MTG is for XE and alter. I think use TCG. That's, that's what I live off of TCG now. Oh my God. So while you're looking that up, I just placed an order for like 150 individual cards.

And because there are so, a bunch of them are really obscure weird cards, because there are so many cards, normally on TCG, this website where you can buy Magic cards, there's a button that optimizes your cart and it will put everything, all these cards from, they'll try to find similar sellers. So you get like 50 cards from one store, 30 from another, and it tries to, so you get less packages.

It couldn't optimize my order. So I have like 54 individual packages coming with like 150 cards. So my USPS, because they always come USPS, this dude is going to kill himself. There's zero chance. He's like, this dude's got 30 packages today. What does he do now? Yeah, and I'm building a mono blue deck now. Just one color blue wizards and artifacts. And I'm so excited. I fucking love this shit. Like all my cards were worth like,

That's $70. Yeah. Like, I forgot because I was like, oh, I'll just go into my decks because I finally found all my decks. I was like, oh, I'll just bring it. No, I didn't. Why wouldn't you bring it? You knew you were coming over. My brain. Have you met me? Yeah, you're an idiot. Yes. Me too. We're all dumb. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. Our brains don't work. We are smart people. No. No. No.

- 'Cause we drink fucking Bang mixes. - Yeah, this is where we are. - Drink Bang, it makes you fucking stupid. - But yeah, new Commander sets come out, or not new Commander sets, sorry, new MTG set dropped today. Then there's another Innistrad, like it's a two part set. There's Midnight Hunt, and then the next Innistrad, I believe is Crimson Day? Crimson Dawn?

Lori? Yeah? Crimson something. And it looks super cool, and it's all about, like, vampires and spooky shit. Werewolves. Ooh, we'll get the vampire fucking deck. Those are always terrifying. Goes with your vampire rock. Dragula's Castle. Boom. Have you ever had an impact deck? No, I... No, um...

But I have Bladestorm Colossus in my Animar deck because I can basically get him out for free. And then he just one punches a player. So, in fact, Infect decks and magic are terrifying. It's like a separate way to kill players. At 20? 11. 11. Oh, yeah. If you Infect it for 11.

Normally you have 40 health in magic, so you have to whittle somebody from 40 or in commander from 40 down to zero to knock them out. If you give them 11 or 10 points of infect damage, they just lose because it's harder to give somebody infect that kind of damage.

What does that mean, infect damage? It's like poison. Oh, so like every round they lose life? No, certain creatures will do poison damage, and people can build decks around that, and it's just a bitch. I forgot my Prosh is also infect. You're a piece of shit. You are just the worst. That Prosh is the worst. I want to see your... Eli, show me your deck. I will, I will.

We're just coming to play. I won't even show you until we'll play. And then you'll be like, this is garbage. I mean, my deck's kind of a piece of shit too. That's how it should be played is you want those garbage decks literally obliterate. I have my dwarf deck, which is a tribal deck, which is...

It's one of those decks. Tribal means it's one of... It's based around only dwarves, like a dwarf tribal or a dragon tribal, wizard tribal. They're not competitive. Yeah. Usually. What about goblin decks? That's what I used to play back in the day. Dude, there are so many good goblin cards right now. I love playing goblin decks in Classic. Oh, red? Dude, oh, red. Goblin bomb and just like... Literally in my... I have goblin sharpshooter, goblin bomb. I have those in my pros deck because you get to target players and...

With sacrificing... Creatures. Which are permanents now. You can do all sorts of crazy shit. And then my... When Prash comes in, he just fucking adds a shit ton of... All my cards add a fuck ton of creatures. It's like, oh...

When you put this card in, depending on how many creatures you sacrifice this round, this how many creatures come into this round. So I'm like, cool. I sacrifice 14 creatures and I put in 16 creatures that are three threes now with Stample. Jesus. And you're like, oh, no. Yeah, Trample. Oh, no. Eli's deck's getting out of control really quickly. Boardwild. Yeah, Boardwild.

Dude, we could build you. Oh, don't. I want a goblin deck. Just tell me what I need. I want to play. I'll send you a deck list. Can we start all this off? Because a couple podcasts. The second podcast, we were talking about you buying magic cards. Yeah, because I bought some and you guys were like, well, I want to get back into magic.

Then you met that one that one well damn fuck you magic minion over there. Yeah, she don't Don't do it. I'm gonna do the strawberry one. They're not good Do you want some non sugary stuff? I don't want to claw the pantry. I want to try the strawberry one. Okay, try it And then we're gonna throw all these in the garbage. I'm uh, why am I only pulling out kittles? You pull out of kittles Not me

I'm gonna try the strawberry blast now. No! They're all so sugary. It's so sugary. They're awful. I'm a white claw now. Imagine drinking something that's so bad you're like, man, I miss white claw. This is like when you're like, I want a Red Bull with sugar in it. No, this is so much worse than Red Bull. This is awful. Yeah. This is fucking awful. This is my least favorite drink I've ever tried.

This makes me miss old Four Loko. Like, old Four Loko would kill you. Oh, yeah. And this is worse. Yeah, that first summer that it released, it killed like 17 college kids. Yeah. Because they were just like funneling them and stuff and their hearts were exploding. Heart failure. It's like, so much alcohol, but energy! I'm drunk and positive at the same time. Overdose on taurine.

Can we try to find, does anyone who's listening have old Four Loko? Oh, we could probably find some on eBay if not. Guys, if you have old Four Loko, send them to us without like fentanyl in them or something. You know. Or maybe just like a little bit, just not like a, not a lot of fentanyl. Like a tiny bit of fentanyl. No, if you're going to fuck, no, don't, none. Just probably add fentanyl. Yeah, you might as well. Do we do the next episode on Delta 8? No.

I just got a package of Delta 8 gummies from John Burke's place. Oh, shit. What's it called? Delta 8. I was asking about it in the group text. Yeah, Delta 8 gummies. He sent me some Delta 8 gummies, and it says on the package, only take half if you're trying it for the first time. And I'm like, there's no THC in this. Do Delta 8 gummies really, like...

They really like get you a little higher? Did you do one? No, I haven't done one yet. Dude, don't do it. You said there were 200. No, because he said the gummies are 250. Is it 250 or the package is 250? No, I'm pretty sure it said every single one is like 250. Delta-8's that powerful? Do all of them at one time. Let's not do that. I can see John at home right now like, oh, dad got candy in the mail.

You get home and John's like floating in the middle of the room. He's just like a balloon. John, get down! John, you're in the second floor right now floating. He's an omnipotent being. Hello, father. Hello, father.

My homework is complete father. Where's my computer? Now you die. That's his vision, your vision. He's just on the ground, just laying there drooling. John,

John, you good? You good? I kick him a couple times. All right. We'll go film a podcast. Where's my computer at? John, I need chicken nuggets. It's completely different conversations going down. I'm getting chicken nuggets after this. I want chicken nuggets so bad. Delta A, I'm going to just say, I'm going to warn you. I'm going to be like, yo, dude.

Like Delta-8 is supposed to do half the dosage of your normal THC. Like a gummy, like 5 or 10 of THC. So you would do like 15 to 20 Delta-8. 250...

That's like doing, that's like me introducing you into drinking alcohol. I'm like, donut. Okay. So this is a one shot is 40% alcohol and you'll feel it. So do 10 of these. Here's the bottle. Good luck. Yeah. And you're just like, okay, I'll trust it. Like,

I think we should do that on the podcast, but only Donut. And he has to eat like four at once. And we just watch. I'm down. Not edibles with Delta A. Do we do? Okay. That's the comment. Do we do Delta A next month? It's going to be the quietest podcast of all time. None of us do this. I'm just going to be like nervous. I'm like.

I'm just eating chicken nuggets. We're going to need so many chicken nuggets. I haven't done any type of drug or anything in ever. What's Delta 8? A lot of people may not know what Delta 8 is. Delta 8. I just learned what it was like a month ago. So it is the legal form of THC. So you have CBD, which is completely legal. You have THC, which is apparently like Delta 9. So it's that...

However, the molecules go. Yes. It's got an atom or two in there. It's taking one away. It's the weeds. Yeah, the weeds. And then it's taking it away. So it's a legal form of that. So it's a Delta 8 variant. And then you can sell that everywhere in the United States. It's legal to consume. It's like your booze. Oh, if I have a stroke, we'll get it on camera. Bro.

We've been waiting to get canceled. That would be it. Batty has a stroke at 20 minute mark and we're like, we got fucking 40 more minutes to go. Yeah, we can't call the ambulance now. No amboo for you, Batty. I want to watch. Oh, God. Next podcast is going to be wild. It's going to be boring. Yeah, we'll see. We'll make up a competition. We have to play Delta. On Delta 8, we have to play...

With each other? Red card. Oh, my. Red flag. Red flags. We need to play red flags with donut. Mm-hmm. Yes. Dude, they're so bad. I like watching people's faces when they drink them. Guys, if you're looking to drink something, this should be at the bottom of your fucking burst. Bang mix. Maybe with vodka, because that... No. Like a lot of vodka. Yeah. If you did our normal pours of vodka, this would...

A cup of vodka. Yeah, like a splash of this. A little fruit color. You're like, man, that actually tastes good now. It killed everything. I like it. Okay, Batty, are we done? Yeah, we're done. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to even look at this bang. Guys, I'm sorry this podcast sucks. It's because it's Bang Mix's fault. It was really...

Go give it a try if you want. Don't. Just don't, actually. It tastes just like sugar. But there's no sugar in it, which is no. Like, why is it? Why would you name it Kittles? I thought Kittles was a good name. We got purple Kittles, pink babies. It sounds like it's directed at kids, but it's alcohol.

There's a guy sitting at home who loves our podcast, and the guy that named it Kittles. Somebody's just like, they're banging headquarters right now, and they're like, who thought it was a good idea? Did nobody think of this? No one think of this? Let's name it Skrittles. Koodles. I can think of any name that starts with other than Kittles. Kittles.

Piddles! Well, okay. Maybe not okay. I like piddles. Is it lemon? What?! This is my favorite drink, Pink Babies. I love drinking Pink Babies. I'm just, I don't know. Mismorsion. Yeah. Guys, have you tried the flavor Cum? It's fucking delicious. And with that, thank you for watching unsubscribe! Thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast. We're gonna start calling our podcast "Cancelled." Whoa, what's the name of this podcast?

Oh yeah, Batty, this is your doing. The name of today is Don't Drink Bang Mix or Purple Kittles with a child at the front giving a thumbs up. Just a kid we'll just Photoshop purple and be like, thumbsing up. The name of this episode is absolutely Purple Kittles. I was going with Cum Cave Orgies, but yeah, that sounds pretty good. I feel like we've already done the cum episode. Did we? I think we have one. Purple Kittles. Purple Kittles? Cum?

We're not doing purple kittles. What's the name of the last one? Butterfly vinegar strokes? The last one was butterfly vinegar strokes. People are like, have you checked this episode out? What's it called? Purple kittles. Our episodes have no science behind it. Then there's the episode like...

Casey has balls. The episodes have no relativity. Pokemon rape. No, it's Machamp Grape. Oh, yeah. Machamp Grape. Go away, everybody. Eli, double tap. Batty shrooms. Donut operator. Fuck off.