24 - Spider Booty Sting ft. NIGEL JONES, PRO SKATEBOARDER 01:09:41

I'm not gonna drink that though. Clap like a man. There we go. Oh! That's all it takes. Do you not see my arms? Welcome to unsubscribe. Oh, sorry, you pointed at donut. Oh, am I doing it? Do it. Welcome to unsubscribe podcast. We are here with Mr. Nigel Jones. Okay, redo. Redo!

Hey, Nigel, where's your Instagram? Niggle Jones. You might as well just full send it right now. I mean, right out the gate. Yeah, welcome to Texas and the unsubscribe podcast. Absolutely. Batty, are you drinking at 1 o'clock? No, I'm not drinking. I'm drinking a Coke.

He's getting better through 60 grams of sugar one can at a time. Oh, spilled it. There's not alcohol in Coke and you can't make certain medications. Hi, I was dying, was died on vacation. He did, which leads us right into our first discussion point. Exes.

I mean, PAX. PAX. PAX. PAX. PAX. So, Nigel, we'll get to you in a second. That's not important. Oh, yeah. We have a guest today. It's Nigel Jones. Hello, hello, hello, everybody. How are you guys doing? Nigel Jones. I mean, like...

I'm black. What the fuck do you expect right now? We have Nigel Jones. Nigel. Professional skateboarder. Two-time Medal of Honor recipient. Three-time Purple Heart recipient. Veteran. This man is an American War hero. I don't know where that happened at, but like, sure. Stolen Valor. There it is. Stolen Valor. Cancel it right now. The look on your face when medals start coming out.

You come on our podcast and do this? It's the same look everybody gets when Eli starts throwing out fake medals. You're like, what? Wait, what? I never said any of this. This is all a lie. I'm going to go with it. If you ask me in person, no way it didn't happen. This isn't recorded.

I mean, last night you streamed, a bunch of things were said that I'm waiting to come back and bite your ass. Oh, I deleted that VOD. That's gone. Did you? Absolutely. Oh, okay. The moment you showed up, I'm like, party, delete the VOD. Immediately. Probably.

Probably should. We're getting rid of this right now. Oh, man. Introduce yourself, buddy. What do you do? I am Nigel Jones. If you do know me, you probably see me on Braille Skateboarding, which is the largest skateboard YouTube channel in the world. Wait, is it really the largest? Yes. Over Thrasher, over Tony Hawk's Ride Channel, over everything. Everything. Like, shit's on them. They're not even close. Pretty big.

That's pretty cool. Okay. Okay. I started skating with them in, what, 2015 when I got out of the military. I worked at Tesla for a couple years, and then there's a skate park by there called Fremont Skate Park. I go there all the time. But I never went there on a Saturday. But one Saturday I worked, and I was like, I'm going to go skate after. And they were there, and one of my buddies skated with them. So I was like, hey, what's up? And then I did a video with them, and they were like,

You're cool. Like, do videos with us. And then history just... Boom. And then you guys met Hal.

Did I slide in your DMs? I don't know. We slid into each other's DMs. I'm pretty sure I had a bunch of people that would message on the YouTube comments and on my Instagram when they found out I was a vet and shot. They were like, you need a liquid donut. Hey, shot. You have a purple heart? Like, shoot. Wait, you got shot? You got shot? I mean, I mean. You're like crispy? You're like crispy? You got two purple hearts? Not even close. You got two purple hearts? Not even close.

I mean, if you count my blackness, I have one purple heart. Depending on how black it is. We love you. Take that joke and fold it in a paper and put it away. And never use it again. I'll drink to that one. Pour that. Pour one out. For that joke. I tried. Didn't work. Didn't happen. Backfired.

We slid into each other's DMs somehow and then we got to talking about Demolition Ranch and they just filmed an awesome video with...

where you guys shot skateboards. Yeah, surprising results. Good. Yeah, that was illegal. Very surprising results. Skateboarding is illegal. It's a crime. It is a crime. Yeah. It is 100% a crime. I don't know why people do it. I guess the exact number of skateboards that would take. You really did though. That's awesome. Yes. Yeah. After we did the video because I told him it was surprising, he was like, oh, and they all stopped in a three and I was like,

Were you there? The cutting boards from the body armor. Dude, they embedded it too. Yeah, I've seen it. Did we grab that, Daddy? It's crazy because all the pistol rounds embedded right there in... It was the third board. Yep. I was going to say, don't say the number. We'll have this out like demo. We'll have seven videos out before this podcast. Oh, okay. Yeah, you can say the number. Yeah.

Honestly, Demo's video is probably already live. Yeah, something like that. He released 17 videos today. He's got chocolate now working like a workhorse. That's what you're calling over here. God damn. We just going there today. I like it. Today's going to be a fun podcast. You have a colored podcast. We have to go there.

Thank God I'm a minority. I'm safe over here. This is the safe side of the table. This is the canceled side. I think this is the safe side of the table, technically. Yeah, me and Batty Denied are like, well, I don't have a YouTube or a Twitch anymore. Real estate over on that side is way more expensive. School system is better.

Interest rates. Property values. Yeah, market value on that space. Woo! Oh my god. Jesus. I'm gonna be crying by the end of this podcast. I already know.

They're not going to be fun tears. They're going to be very sad, disappointed tears. They're going to be very fun, sad, disappointed, awesome, not good tears. All of it. Welcome to unsubscribe. Nerdy video game stuff. Literally everyone's unsubscribing. They haven't yet. Surprising. It keeps growing. Good to go. It's the opposite of what we've been trying here.

So you're hanging out with all your more conservative gun friends in Texas this week. Are you going to go back and catch shit from your California people? No, because I live in awesome country California, and it's the same thing. It's literally the same thing. But without any of the Nerf guns. Cut this whole part out. Put unicorns in rainbows.

Nerf guns. We're talking about nerf guns. Nerf guns. Okay, so skateboarding, which is you, you, I don't know if Batty's skateboarded ever. I used to BMX stuff, actually, when I was young. No shit. I had like a ton of it, yeah. Nice. I remember the only time I tried to do like a trick off of a ramp at a bike park, skate park, and I ate shit immediately. I was like ramping the air. I was like, what do I do next?

My body's like tense up and just eat shit. I'm done. I'm never doing any of this again. Makes sense. You would have hated yesterday then. Oh yeah. Dude, you were the most amazing to me. I forget you can skate. So I was like, Dylan's going to eat shit on that half ramp. And you're like, turn, slide back down your arms out looking like a Ninja turtle. It's like, did you actually do cool guy shit? Like slightly.

He went up a... I'm not Nigel. No, there was a ramp over there that he kept running at, and I'm like, why is he not kick turn? I know he can kick turn on it. I don't know what a kick turn is. What is a kick turn? You go up a ramp and turn around. Taekwondo. Taekwondo. That too. Yeah. Pretty much. You literally kick turn it. Yeah. I haven't skated in like a year. That was the first time I touched a skateboard in a year. I kept watching, and I was like, why is he not doing it? And then eventually, I just saw the fuck it go over his face, and he was like, I'm going to do it. And just...

Perfect. First time. Was it the first time, though? No, it wasn't. He skates, definitely. Matt didn't know he skated. He did all right. He did very good. He went down some... Yeah, he got demo skating. Yeah, he went down ramps for the first time. Like without a helmet and pads? Yes, and he looked solid, dude. He didn't wear...

He's my age. He's old. He's down for at least two months if he raps. At least two months. He ran out of a bunch of stuff. He did not fall once. Oh, he skidded on his ass that one time, remember? Yeah, he was sitting on his ass, though, so it doesn't count. Oh, God, that sounds painful. Dude, he's been trying to get me to jump on a skateboard. I'm like, nah, I will literally die.

die. Batty's the one that like steps on his ankle, just shatters sideways. I do the same. I jumped through the table. No issues. But like a skateboard, like I know my limit and it's like wheels. Nope. Not doing it at PAX. We were standing there and Batty was like, Whoa, like his equilibrium went off and he almost like Batty had a stroke years ago. Yeah. So his equilibrium is not the best. PAX is the only time I've ever seen that where he was literally, he was like, Whoa,

It's like body checked out. It's like starting to fall. He's like, buddy, what the fuck was that? He's like, my equilibrium gave up. It's like, like it's like muscle fatigue. What is this? It's like, so my body just thinks I'm falling all of a sudden. And then I, then I start falling because of it. It's like, my brain's like, no, you're going this way. I'm like, okay.

Brains are fucking mean, dude. Skateboard and that, not a good idea. Thank you. I feel like it might help it maybe a little bit or make it 12 times worse. Either or. I don't think it's going to help ever. There's not one scenario where... You're going to think of reverse psychology though? Like, maybe? No! No, you're right. There is

No way, being on a skateboard is good for anything except for YouTube views. Reverse psychology. His equilibrium out, he might be able to swim better. What if Batty goes into space and everything just aligns? Oh, he could be in the space force. Well, maybe not that. Let's do NASA. Anything that pays way better than the government.

Yeah, but I don't really think I deserve anything better than the government. Like, my performance is definitely capped. It's right there. We did PAX this weekend. Penny Arcade Exposition. I wasn't there. You missed nothing. Yeah, I heard. PAX was a disappointment at best. I think that's the only way we can phrase that. It was a disappointment. 90,000 people average show up. This one was 11,000 people that showed up to PAX, which is...

We felt it. We walked the game floor in, what, 15, 30 minutes? Yeah, we did the whole thing in like 30 minutes. And that's a convention where it's probably like two, three, four hours that you're walking and there's fucking people and traffic and shit. Oh, my God, hours. You can spend hours on these floors. And even then, it's usually a multi-day thing. Yes. Because there's new stuff or they're changing out vendors, different games. Lines. There's usually lines, period.

There was a line to buy some clothes sometimes. Because there was only one clothed merch booth. That was it. It was insanity, the level of disappointment. We did meet some cool people. We got EK Flu Gaming. Wait, who was that one content creator that didn't want to talk to us? He was cooler than us.

Oh, that guy was such a cuck. What was his? Cuck Jones? I don't remember. It was like cuck or cock. I figured that out real quick. No, we didn't run into anyone who had the yellow badges, the content creator badges. I saw a few, but I didn't recognize anybody. There was 11 of us, I think. Yeah.

We're standing there and this guy comes up and I'm like, hey bro, you got a content creator badge. What do you make? And he's like, I stream. And then turned around. Straight up. Yeah. And I'm like, hey, you got a medal. Like, did you win something here at the gaming thing? He's like, yeah, bro. What was it, bro? Bro. Bro. Bro. And then he turned around again and I'm like, that's cool, man. So like Twitch, you got like followers or something? And he's like,

50,000 and turns around and like he did not want anything to do with us at all. We were trying to be friendly to this guy. Yeah, and it was trying like literally just trying to have a conversation where it's like hey man, how you doing? People are weird, dude. Bro, and his arrogance the way he looked, he was just a fucking tool. Please describe this look. Think about it. No, you don't. He was a bro. He was a bro. He was a visor away from being a bro. Did he have a tank top with tattoos? He had a tank top.

No tattoos. He had a green tank top, right? Was he wearing a green? Yeah. If anyone who is at PAX West knows who this bro is, let us know. I just want to know. I want to message him on Instagram and be like, are you okay? This is how you fuck up relationships. Oh, my God. We wanted to be your friend. Yeah, there were other content creators there. We just wanted to talk to this guy, and he was grumpy. Dude, especially when you're a 50,000-bro. You are fucking...

calm the fuck down. Like ego check. Just talk to everyone. If you treat content creators that way, you treat your fans like shit.

Definitely. You don't treat your fans with respect or your viewers with respect. You are just like a piece of shit. Well, I don't either, but they like that. Yeah. They're weird. They signed up for that relationship. You're the only one that I feel like gets away with it. You haven't met Kings or anything. They really, really just like the abuse. Yeah. Yeah, daddy. Call me a piece of shit again. Stop it. It's under the table. Every one of your viewers, Holmes. That's it.

Okay, guys, I have a question for today's video. How many times have you jerked off to our content? Thank you. Just put below. I don't want to know this. Just a number. I really want to. Put like an Eli 4, Batty 2, Donut 12. Just let us know how many times. You guys are going to have some very fucked up but real numbers. I hope you know that. Like there was going to be a few people that are going to put some real numbers in there. You just pretend don't exist. But those ones and twos are going to be like, oh.

Name that video you go back for that second time. Donuts one tap video just really gets me at two minutes and 13 seconds. You're like, oh, I hate this so much. Mine is the Eli as a girl ones. All of those. Yo, honestly, you're not allowed to post you as a girl ever. No, don't do it. How do you like spiders? Okay, there's a spider right on your mic.

Oh, yeah, there is a little guy. It's a little jumping spider. I was like, oh, look at him. You said that. Welcome to say here's a spider and he freaks out and throws the mic. He's like, I fucking terrified of him. I was like, there's one right here. It's actually a baby brown recluse and it's about to kill him. Dude, he's just spitting out. This is fucking, but this is some spider verse miles. We're out of shit.

How much web does he have in that butt? How much web you got in that butt? How many ounces of web do you keep in that dump truck? Look at him. Dump it, baby. He's right here.

I thought you had a leash on him. It is. You can walk him. Dump it, baby. I think he reached the end. Oh, yeah. You were using all of his web up. This is rude. No, he's got infinite amount. I don't think that's how that works. Look at him struggling. He's like, ah. He's like, ah. He's just screaming his little spider scream. He's just escaping these four monsters that are holding him up. The person is so smooth. Yeah, dude.

And now he's just screaming pain. His perspective is all he sees these four dudes. Just like...

He was struggling there at the end. Oh, fuck. I left him on your floor. I'm going to let him run off. No, I can't. He's gone. I told you about my spider things earlier. Oh, he's just chilling. I told him. He's tired. I escaped him. Oh, God. He's shaking. He's got the BTS now, man. Oh, no.

You see why we don't plan for the podcast anymore? We don't need to. Content follows us! He's gonna be sitting at the VFW later, drinking whiskey. And then they... And then they laughed some more. They pulled it all out. They pulled it all out. Oh, shit. He's getting a purple heart now. Yeah. That boy deserves... That boy has not moved. He has not moved. He's literally not moved. Is he alive?

Yeah. He probably pulled his guts out with that little move. That wasn't web at the end, boys. It was dust. His little butthole's just shooting air. Does it come out of the butthole? I'm not a spider doctor. I'm not a spider doctor. Oh, God. Podcast name, Spider Buttholes. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Where we talk about video games. Yo, we just always say, where we talk about video games.

No, we were talking about douchebag with a green shirt. Oh, yeah. So, again, if you're at PAX West and you recognize green shirt content creator boy, let us know. I want to just talk to him. I just want to see who he is. I want to see how thick his clout is. I want him. See if we can finally cut through it. To realize the opportunities he fucked up from being a douchebag.

He's one of those guys that would have switched immediately. 100%. Oh, man. Fold up your Instagram, saw him, and be like, hey, how you doing? Look at the collective check marks around me right now. You're like this fucking tool bag. Just be kind. We were just standing around a D&D booth talking about D&D minis. Oh, yeah, because they had that. It was the brass. Yeah, the metal ones.

We were looking for D&D minis of ourselves. It was dope. So cool. Side note, who's getting tattoos of the frogs yet? Anyone? The Adventurer Frogs 3. Because Matt's looking into it. Brandon, you've seen Brandon. Brandon's not. There's no way Brandon's going to do it. He literally went, just because I made this doesn't mean it's consent. I was like, okay, buddy. We're going to make it happen, Brandon. We're going to hold him down and tattoo him. Mr. Herrera? Yeah. He has zero? He has zero tattoos. No tattoos. And he's a little AK frog now. Who did that?

I didn't know that. I haven't seen the AK frog. Yeah, he has a frog with a little AK being held up. I was like, this is genius. I mean, this is... You want to get a little frog? With a skateboard. I don't care. Have you seen our frogs? Where's the frogs? So we all got tattoos on the last podcast. Yeah, we got tattooed live. Oh, fuck yeah. Eli, me, Batty. Like he's a ranger. Is it bad that I've been staring at yours?

He's my sexual white chocolate. I don't know what happened. I'm so down. You have a way with the boys. I don't know. The last podcast, I didn't know that I was getting a tattoo. And then I get here and none of us knew where we were getting them except Eli. And then Eli was like, oh, let's get them on our ribs. That's going to be the best thing ever. How did that feel? It was great. It was spicy. The first tattoo I got was on my ribs. Oh, okay. Why? I don't know. And the...

Those lower ribs. Now, if and when I move out here, I'm going to be like, why the fuck did I get this tattoo? Because it's California on my side. You got California tattoos? But it's cool. It's got like shit in it. It shows like the redwoods in the top because that's Northern California. But it's that side. So you're good on the frog side.

You're fine. That would not have felt good, though. No. I mean, the only part that hurt was my little meaty part. There's no meat on that body, sir. Fucking 2%, maybe? I don't know. I haven't checked it in a while. Oh, that would have felt terrible. But as he said, no one knew. He was like, I need more. I can't get a tattoo and not know what it is. Me and Will, me and Batty talked about frog design.

And then me and Will, I was like, this is what we do. And then Will sent that. He was like, well, this do. And then I was like, add a little pet frog for Cody. And he kicked it back. It was like, perfect. And we showed him. And they're like, what? These are fucking jokes. Yeah. Like, these are fucking jokes. It's the kind of friends we are. We show up and make you get a tattoo. I was going to say, who got cum tattooed on them? The cum culprit. Yeah.

We don't know. Thankfully, it's permanent for the rest of our lives. The cum bandit. The great cum bandit of unsubscribe. Whatever that might be. Wait, did I just break you? We know a couple of those. I got me. I got me. Oh, fuck. He's gone. He's fucking climbing up your shorts right now to bite your dick. You're going to walk over and he's going to be hanging himself off his own thread. What?

Some spider didn't do 22 pushups that day. So PAX. We were at PAX. Oh, first off, Dim Tai Fung. Oh, that was so good. Dim Tai Fung is a, what kind of Japanese? Chinese. Chinese. Dim Zong. Shirt. That at PAX in Seattle. And it was fucking delicious. Oh, yeah.

Oh my God. The pork's out on bow. You were just like, yeah. Well, it's a, you told me beforehand, it's a Michelin star restaurant and I can see why I now know their secret to behind the juice explosion. Oh yeah. They told us one of the secrets. What is the secret? Should we say it on air? Yeah. Here we can say it. I think because we don't say who told us we're fine. Yeah. So when they do it to you, that bitch, you met to you.

Not her, it was someone else. It was definitely not Tia. No, Tia didn't tell us. It was one of the dudes that works there. But it's the dumplings, and then they put the pork mixture in, and then normally you steam them after that. But these, when you bite them, they explode with juicy flavor in your mouth. That's not just the mixture. I've made these motherfuckers several times. You can't do this when you cook it. Yeah, exactly. We got to talk to a couple of the people there. No, they take...

A cube of frozen broth and put it on top of the mixture so when they steam it, yeah. So that's where that juice comes from when you buy it into their dumplings. All I can think about as you talk about this is that fucking anime Food Wars that is my guilty pleasure anime at this point. I get to watch it. It is the stupidest yet most amazing. It's porn with food and it's fucking hilarious and you need to watch it now. Is that the one where it shows them the potato skinning itself? No. What?

Wait, you guys have never seen this? Does it scream in pain? No, it's like... No, so it's fucking... It's an anime about cooking, like a prestigious cooking school. And the food they cook is always so good. It sends people into orgasms and shit. It's the funniest fucking thing ever. Remember I told you how anime is?

So hentai. Hentai, but without the nipples. Food hentai. I've got a couple spots to start at for getting into anime. Food war, top of the list, right there. That is your gateway drug. You said berserker, right? Berserk. Berserk? Yeah. Very different. That's where I'm from. Very different. Very different? Very. Okay. One skinning potatoes, one skinning people.

You know, it's very, very different. Lots of grape over here. Lots of grape. You know, potatoes over here. I mean, grapes and grapes. We're going to take a moment. We'll pull this up.

What the? That is not Food Wars. I'll forget what this one is. I'll get you the name. But you see that shit and you're like, what the fuck? It's animated as fuck. That's amazing. So yeah, anime. That's what I'm missing out on right there. Okay. That group laugh right there was solid laughs. That was a good group laugh. Yeah, can we put a link to that? Oh yeah, I will definitely. In the description so you guys can see that. The potato peeling himself. Oh!

And then the push just rotates in air. I fucking love anime so much. It's so over the top.

So Pax. Yeah. Dim Tide. Dim Tide Fung. I got sick. I went to the ER. You almost died. I almost died. I tried to eat breakfast and couldn't because I don't have a Vax card and I got turned down by three different breakfast places. And this is with our temporary passes because we all got COVID rapid tests and there was still like

No go unless you have that Vax card. And we're like, oh. I had my Vax card. We were like, what the hell? I didn't know there was a place that made me use it, so I didn't feel cool. And now Toto is like texting me. He's like, I can't get a drink anywhere. I was like, I just wanted a mimosa, man. I was up before everyone else.

Lame. Thankfully, Dim-Ti Fung hooked it up. Oh, yeah, Dim-Ti Fung went there. Did you go there another day? I took Daddy there the last day. So you went there three days in a row. I went there two days in a row. It's so good. Dude, that pork fried rice. Batty got the pork fried rice, and they cooked the pork. They deep fried the pork. I'm not a big fan of pork. I like pork fried rice, but I'm just not a big straight-up pork guy. This was just good. There's a lot of mosquitoes in here all the time.

And spiders. With broken buttholes. I just caught a lizard in my bathroom. Nice. Do you got scorpions yet? No. Still, I have not seen a single scorpion since I moved to Texas. Now that I think about it, when we were outside, I think we saw that lizard's mom when we pulled up earlier. There was a decent sized one. And I was like, that's not a blue belly. Not every lizard you see is related. You don't know that. It might be like people. That was my joke. Thank you for ruining it. They all look the same.

Exactly. Caleb Francis had scorpions coming out of his water faucet. His fucking sink, yeah. What? Yeah. So some places in Texas, when you turn your faucet on, only scorpions come out instead of water.

I'm moving here. Yeah. Yes. We had it. I've only seen one at my house and riding is the one that pointed. I was like, daddy, I was like, Oh yeah, don't touch that. But my son hates bugs. Like really flies. He'll be like, like walk away. He's like, go away. I don't know. That's a little hand. Yeah. That fly get in my truck. Oh yeah. And he's like,

Yeah, he's like, oh, it's a fly. That's a fly. I don't like it. I don't like whatever this is. Scorpion, he was like that. I was like, oh, daddy's going to kill that thing. I hate fucking scorpion. Get it. Scorpions are little bitches. Little ones? Big ones? They're all babies here. You only see little ones around here. You have tarantulas, though. That's what I've been waiting for. I've been wanting to find one so bad. It rains. She won't let me get another tarantula. I've never seen one. Oh, really? Yeah, when it rains is when the tarantulas come out.

Really? Yeah. The rain. Cause they'll go in places where it's not wet. So they'll get off the grass and come on your balconies and stuff. So like on my old house, that's when I like opened the back door. Cause, cause that was cookie live there. Cookie. I was like, go outside, go potty. And I was like, cookie, why aren't you going outside? And I'm like, Oh, I'm like, what the fuck? And I like look and there's a trash sitting, looking up. I was like, Oh, that's why you're not. You're as big as the Chihuahua. Got it. Okay. Hey, let's put a cup on you and slide you away from it. Go away. Mrs.

Yeah, I was like, oh, these are big-ass bitches. If I move here, just call me out, and I'll come pick it up. Yeah, they're good-sized little tarantulas. Oh, I had a Chilean rosehaired that was, like, that big. I told Fatty earlier I wanted to buy a Goliath bird-eating tarantula. Why? Will that fly in my house dating this one? It could eat Eli. Probably not, but I'll figure it out. It could literally eat Eli. Yes. Yeah. I would. I don't want that. It gets the size of a dinner plate. I feel like it's going to be a good idea.

I don't know why I would love spiders. I don't know why. I'm weird. Yeah. What happened? We were just talking about, don't let the camera die again. Swap out the battery. And what happened? Yeah, we were at the range with Lena Michalak, Jerry Michalak, like, you know, best shooter in the world's daughter. And she's,

Just as good as he is. It's amazing. She's a monster. I saw that video and I was very jealous that you guys got to shoot with her. I'll be honest. Her guns too are so cool. Are they? Yeah, because she's one of the best three-gun female shooters in the entire world. She's amazing. Her guns were awesome. Get to shoot all her guns and stuff. Great human. Yeah, awesome person. Doesn't wear shoes.

What? She goes to the range barefoot. Like socks? No, nothing. I was like, I wear flip-flops and you're just straight like Incan...

yeah like an incan aztec tribe like she's very naturey yeah very naturey like just likes to drive across the country with her dog at random and just stay in random okay no like hey i gotta have wi-fi and fiber and yeah like running water too it's super cool chick but we were shooting this uh a part of a skit and so we took my camera and we set it up near the plate about probably like six at least six feet away and

And we're like, ah, it'll be fine. And so Lena's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And a piece of shrapnel came back and hit my camera and pushed the wall in. And we couldn't get the battery out. Yeah. So that's why you always wear iPro, kids. Literally. And then you shot and I was walking up. You remember I caught a piece of your shrapnel in my hand.

Like a random piece of shrapnel. Donuts. I could walking up to this where you're shooting and then a piece of shrapnel like hits my hand and I like just catch. I was like, Oh, I'll just bring that to donut. Yeah. It was like a good little piece, man. But yeah, always wear. I pro. Yeah. Diesel. Yeah.

Science. So, well, Pax. So, Pax, back to video games and what we do. Oh, yeah, I got sick. That's why my voice is fucked up. We should probably, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do we look at a single video? I could not tell you a single video game that was talked about. There were hardly any, man.

So Bandai Namco was there. That was the only developer. Did they announce anything? They just had the big anime game booth that was in the middle. That was it. That was the only big booth. Then there was the two smaller big booths, which was Trovo, which is my favorite story to explain because Eli didn't know what Trovo was. Yep. We got to hear that one. And Level Up Dice. Oh, yeah. That was it. Trovo.

He's told me a little bit, but I'm down to hear some stories. It's just a small streaming site. You guys know Twitch? Boom. You ever heard of Microsoft? Everyone has Google, YouTube, Trovo. Apparently, they're a streaming service for video games. I don't know. It's right there with DLive. I feel like just from you saying that. He just said another name that I didn't know. There with DLive again. I did a video with DLive where we did like a month.

Four months with DLive. Owie. I mean, I got paid for the whole time, so. Yeah, but nobody saw the content. No. I think at the max for our streams when we were doing it, we had probably like 20 people in there. Dude, crush. And that was for. That's top of the platform. That was the biggest skateboarding channel, but they have the gaming channel that we just spin off of. I'm surprised you're on this podcast with those numbers. Yeah. You made it. Yeah. You can cash out now, bro. Dude, skateboarding podcast.

Or, I mean, not podcast, but stream. Skateboarding stream. That's a good idea. That hasn't been done. I know this is a secret that I'm going to throw out there. But don't say it's a secret. It hasn't released yet, so I don't give a fuck anyway. You have a week. Thrasher was supposed to do a live stream skate event thing, and nothing has come out. So I have my own indoor warehouse, and I've been like, all right, I'm going to buy cameras and just do a stream here because I know that's going to be the next level. Dude, what if you had the backpack on?

That's what I'm saying. The backpack? You can switch between two or three cameras in the warehouse and then the backpack. Show me this backpack and I'll do it. I got one. Have you not seen the rain streams that we run in? No. Yeah, I do a rain stream with the camera right here. Oh, yeah. And now I have it mounted in my helmet. So I have it all mounted. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to show me that. I would do that all day. People would watch that shit all day. He could get bits and don'ts for certain tricks. Dude. Oh, my God. And we take 10%. Yeah. Exactly. As we set everything up.

So for you guys, no, I'm moving out here pretty much and just helping them with the skate community. And that's just another thing that we're going to do. It'll be like Trey flip 20 subs, kick flip 10 subs. Oh, darn. Oh, my God. And then he has a stream deck that switches between the warehouse cameras and the backpack. Yeah, you just do a remote. Yeah. Can you remote? Bluetooth switch, yeah. No, no, I know you can do that, but can the stream deck backpacks switch cameras?

Because it's its own built. It's a singular thing. Camera to modem. It could be figured out. But there is, I know because Freddie showed me how to wire it. If you use an HDMI adapter that has multiple camera ports, then you can run it off. You can run just Bluetooth. Yeah. Gotcha. And that's how I didn't know if I could take those in. So yeah, because Freddie was like, this is because Freddie wanted to figure out how to do a cooler range stream. I was like,

So it sounds like... Come on, Freddy. Come on, Freddy. Come on the podcast. I know, you son of a bitch. Sounds like I'm going to have to move out here. We're going to have to get another warehouse and build an indoor skate park so that way when we start doing this, we can get all Tony Hawk. Donut's nipples just tingled. I am so down to... I am 100% down for that. I want to do another 5.0 skate shopping.

I know the guys at California Skate Parks, which builds. I researched. They did like four skate parks out here. They do skate parks everywhere. Okay, so you're going to do that. I want to start a game store. This is perfect. We're always going to start dumb shit. We're going to take over Bernie. I'm starting my sandwich shop in Bernie. 5-0 sub shop? 5-0 sub shop, yeah. Fucking awesome. What are you going to do, Eli? Fucking Eli stuff. Be Eli. Take 10% of everything we do. Science. Damn it.

Multiple paychecks. God damn, man. So on the table, there is a jar. Are we pounding that right now? No, God no. This is a concoction. Donut made it. Donut, that's yours? I will do a shot of that. That doesn't look like my original concoction, though. This is the original concoction.

Oh, the purple one? This is the hate juice you brought. Oh, is that the one that he poured shit into? No, you gave me that. This is the one that you gave me when I first got here. Oh, okay. You guys didn't put anything in there? It sat in the car for... When did he give me it? Because it was bright purple.

Yeah, it sat in the car for a little bit. Dude, the sun made it a different color. Yeah. Dude, we should do a shoddy shot. We should. Because that was great. That will be good for you. Great Jolly Ranchers. Can you please do it? But if you mix that with meds, it's actually positive. What about tomorrow? Definitely not. You know, alcohol kills germs. Batty, what do you wipe your hands with? I tried it last night when it was hot and I was like...

Some of the flavor's going out of it. What kind of sip was that? There was never any flavor. I mean, it does. It tastes like Skittles. It's Skittles or Starburst. No, no, it was Jolly Ranchers. Oh, you did the Jollies? That's more vodka. Like, it took some of the flavor out of it, man. That's vodka. Yeah, it's just like vodka with a slight hint of grape. Y'all are fucked up. That's because it's grape. Oh, my God. When that was that slow, it was like my hamster was like,

Slowly moving, it's like, oh my god, this is great! That was better than it was when I got it out of the car when it was hot. Yeah, I bet. You don't like hot vodka, right? Just love a warm cup of vodka before bed. When I tried it, when I had brought it in, I was like, I don't know.

Your boy has heavy pores. And I was like, not expecting that. It's just vodka. That is vodka. I think it's because my darkness and drinking Hennessy now. Like, a lot of people don't. When I make drinks, I put stuff in them too. Like, I'm going to go with the grape. You went hard, man. It was just Jolly Ranchers with vodka. That was it. Oh, yeah.

Don't put some Sprite or like a... No, it's a mixer. No, it's good. You do it yourself. Dude, I will say... Oh, it's a mixer? Yeah, that's your start. I thought y'all were supposed to just be drinking it straight. You can. I mean, if you're weird like we are. Y'all just did it. I literally... It's dangerous. You just put ice in that and you're just like...

That's what I thought you were doing with them. That's what I was going to do with this. That's what I am going to do with this when I finish it is just throw ice in there and fucking drink it. I'm just saying it's a base, but you can drink it solo. I'm glad you guys – this is why we need to teach problem solving and critical thinking in school because you two just assumed drink it like this. I mean you can. I took it and I was like I can mix this with –

Cherry zions, and I'm gonna love it and it tastes like you're a piece of shit. Yeah, apparently I can critical think - I Mean if it's warm it sucks shit, but

No, I love it. I drank the blue one. We mixed the blue one, though. The blue one had G Fuel in it. Oh, my. The one you gave me, he gave me one. Oh, yeah. You took it home and did something with it. Yeah, I was mixing with my Zions, and I was like, oh, boy. But the first one, I was like, heavy, light, and I was like...

It's like strong, but I like it. And then it was like 20 minutes later, it was like strong. Your boy's feeling that. That's a lot more vodka than I thought it was going to be. Jesus. Oh, man. So are you playing any video games right now? The only thing I really play, I'll play Warzone when I stream.

Warzone, Skyrim, and Ghost of Tsushima. Sushi Ghost. Sushi Ghost. Yes. My boy. And they just had a DLC. I put my, like, it should be downloaded on my PlayStation when I get home. Have you beat it? Yes. None of us have beat it yet. I'm on third act. Dude, the storyline to this whole game.

Oh my goodness. Like it's, it's incredible. Like the scenery alone itself too. It's just beautiful. Like you're slaying. This is episode 12 of us talking about Sushi Ghost and how we still haven't beaten it. Caleb got us into Sushi Ghost. He hasn't even tried it yet. Dude, it's literally probably the best game I've ever played. It wasn't, I feel like it should have been way longer. But yeah,

fucking phenomenal game though if you take it to where it's like you look at the cinema and like you're slaying a whole town and then you sit there and you can drink sake on a rock and fucking look at the town burning

That got dark. That's cool. That got dark. I mean, but the way it looked, like the scenery of everything just looked beautiful. You got the white, like leaves blowing in the back and you're sitting there. Everything is amazing. I had so much fun playing that game. You're like, holy shit, this came out on PS4. Yes. I had so much fun playing that game. I hope they keep making DLCs or like another one and keep that storyline going. I'm at like 46 hours. I just looked at my timer. I was like, I'm not even beat the game of 46 hours in side quest. I think it's like 20.

Oh yeah, I did all the side quests. I did all the main story, everything. I think I did it probably 72 hours all collectively. Oh, so good. And you guys said it's on PC, right? No, just PlayStation. You can borrow it after. John was playing that. John liked it a lot. Yeah, John was like, oh, and then he got into it and then he kept dying. John, this game's not easy.

He's like, fuck. Yeah, but then he spent like four hours on it, and he liked it a lot. I got everything unlocked. No, I have to still find some of the banners, and then that's the last thing I'm doing. Finding all the little things, like the artifacts, all that whatnot. Are you 100%-er when you play games? I'm at like 97%. 97? Geez. Yeah, for that I'm 100%. Do you do it? A lot of the times are you doing like 100%? For most games, I try to get to 100%. Yes. I'll sit there and I'll...

28? Oh, 29. I just had a birthday. Oh, yeah. The day before your birthday. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Is that a few seconds? Yeah. Happy birthday. Happy belated birthday. Yeah, I just had a birthday while we were at PAX. That was cool. We went out and celebrated. Oh, yeah. That was good. And then we're sitting there celebrating, and Batty's like, I can't breathe or talk. I have to go to the ER. He's like, I'm going to the ER now. And he just stood up and walked off. We were like, I hope Batty's okay. Shot? Shot. Shot? Shot. Shot. Shot.

Like, Lori will take care of it. We were talking about the hotel room. I sat in the hotel room for like an hour and a half going, I should go to the ER. No, I'm not going to do it. I should go to the ER. I don't want to do it. Then it was like drooling everywhere. I can't fly. I'm going to the ER. I got back to the hotel room shit wrecked. And I get a text from Lori from your number. And she's like, Batty's not doing so good. He keeps blacking out and can't breathe. And I'm like, oh, no. Yeah. Yeah.

I hope he'll make it. Hey, I text you as I was picking up Thai food or something from downstairs. I ordered like Indian food. I was like, if you need anything, Batty, I'm going to be eating this up. I was like, you okay? And he goes, okay, bye. He left. What the fuck? I love my friends. You're the best friends to have right there. You're the three best friends I've ever had.

Fucking hate all of you. I don't know how you 100% games. I can't do that anymore. Games get harder and harder the older you get to really stay focused. We get dumber and dumber. Oh, 100%. This does not help. That's you guys.

My skills stay sharp most of the time. I just watched you struggle getting into a truck. I don't want to hear it. How old are you? 36. No, you're not. Every time I look at you guys, I'm like, we're all the same age. There's no fucking way. This is fucking Batty's fucking thing. He came up. He was like, you're way taller than I thought you were going to be.

I was like, "Baddy's piece of shit has made this internet community think I am four foot- I'm the height of this white cock." Did I say the same thing? Yeah, I said the same exact thing. He literally was like, "I thought you were way shorter." Legally a dwarf. Literally. Yeah, 5'4" and I actually did. With platforms on.

I know they're like, oh, your average height. That was a gal. My piece of shit. Friends six, two and above. I didn't know Matt was six, three. I thought he was like my height. That's six, three. Yeah. He's that much taller than me. Yeah. We got how tall are you? I'm five, 11, six foot on Tinder. Six foot on Tinder. Baddie's six, one or six. How tall are you?

5'11". 6'1". 6 on a good day. My dad's 6'9". My mom ruined my height. Fuck her. Dad's 6'9". That's what I said. So, fun fact. He played for the Charlotte Hornets for a season when they were the Charlotte Hornets and I was in his nutsack at the time. So, I played pro basketball. That makes sense. Yeah.

You won't find him on anything. I think he was – I don't know what he did, but – That was during the Cowboys era of – or not the Cowboys, the Chicago Bulls. Yes. The Hornets were the one that, like, I think beat them or something one time. One time. When they were, like, undefeated for so many games. Why do I know that? I have no idea. That is such a weird, random life act. You don't even do sports. I know. I don't – fuck this. How do you know everything? I don't fucking understand this.

Right now. I hate my brain. This man was talking shit about my camera earlier. And I was like, there's no 30 minute pause on it. It just fucking goes. Literally 30 minutes into this. He bet against me too. I don't know what he's doing. I want to do that. What did you bet? We didn't say anything. You have to suck his dick now. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. 40 minutes and we're talking about sucking dick. I guess this one's going on Pornhub.

Should we start uploading there too? The Uncensored Podcast will soon be available on YouTube, Amazon, Google, and Pornhub. And OnlyFans because they did it proper again. Yeah. Oh, we could. Honestly, you guys could. Well, yeah. It doesn't have to be anything crazy either. Yeah. But I mean, it's you guys, so it's going to be a little bit crazy. That's what we do is just kiss at the beginning of each one of them.

OnlyFans. Fucking kiss. Man, you guys killed your following. They're not in a dude on dude stuff. Question mark. What are your favorite games? I'm different. I'm different. Like the skin tones. What did you grow up with? Everything. Fucking no. Pick a game right now. Your favorite game. Goldeneye. Fuck yeah. N64. Perfect. Are you good at it?

Wait, not Tony Hawk Pro Skater? No, Tony, don't fucking look at me like that. Do we need to bust one out and start playing? Do you have all the cheats? Did you do all the cheats? Throw down. No.

I didn't become a nerd for putting cheat codes in games until I was like 13, 14. Can't even speedrun the game. Yeah, no. Didn't even use big head mode. No, actually, that's a lie. I did use big head mode because I definitely remember that. But I think that's probably the only thing I've ever used. Invincible mode was the hard one because that was on. Paintball was super cool, yeah.

But invincible mode. That was the one on facility that you had to do on double O double O mode. And you had to do under minute four minute nine. That was a hard, that one was a bitch. Cause old boy, remember that again?

People would pay me in high school for the cartridges because I was the only kid. Me and Casey were the only ones. Casey has balls? Casey has balls. We're the only kids in high school that could unlock all the codes. So people would pay us. They would hand us our N64 cartridges. It was like $30. They'd give me your lunch money and I'll fix your game. $30 and I'll get you all the codes. And we'd go through it, knock it out, and hand it back to them. Sounds like me back then.

I said for Guitar Hill mainly Guitar Hill I would people would come to me cause I could get all like the songs you couldn't get on one of the main ones was Ground and Pound by Dragon Force that you can throw on there I would just make their whole shit and then give it back to them

I never knew Freddie was so good at Guitar Hero. I mean, he's made like 800 videos about being good at Guitar Hero. Yeah, I know now. You were friends with him. I know before. I was like, until I met him, because those videos, he did one prior and then he started doing videos for Video Game High School about it. Yeah.

But they used to pay him to travel to Germany and all these places to play shows with Guitar Hero. That you didn't know, did you? I feel like that's cool. Freddie would go behind his back and all that stuff. Expert all day? Yeah. So he was a world champion Guitar Hero. I want to go play it now. I could do every song behind my back.

It's not the sound anymore. I was on hard and missing shit. I used to be able to expert all that. Yeah, now I can. I also am like a fake finger now. Yeah, now you got that thing. Yeah, I got this. That they call a pinky. It doesn't really work. Inside is carbon. This is not real in here.

It's not bone. They cut it all out. You can see the... Did you punch a deer in the head? I need to. You punched the ground in there. Real hard. I still don't know the details, but you said that. It was fun. It was a lot of fun. Yes, I figure it was. It became a crayon for a little bit. That happens when you run into a car.

- That's what happens. - Watch your god damn feet. - Hey, no, hey, she can't talk shit because she ran into a semi, so. - No, she bumped the camera, I was making fun of her. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - Oh, nevermind. - She ran into a, she ran into a-- - So, Courtney, my dearest fiance here. - Your girlfriend? - Yes, girlfriend. - The girl you're dating? - Veronica over here. - Veronica, that's her name, that's right. - Matt thought her name was Veronica. - That is her name.

You're driving to work at one point, working a bar, and apparently there was a semi that was parked on the freeway in the road. And then so she had to go to the left, but there was another semi. And then after that was another semi, so she had to fucking figure some shit out. Yeah, so it's either slam in the back of one semi or go between two semis. Did you duke to hazard it? You parked that shit right between them. Did you die?

Did you die? Is she taking a long nap? Okay, so other than the permanent nap. He's really tired. He's drunk. Do you have pictures of your car? No, no. Wear hockey pants. Can you pull up a picture of your car so I can show them the picture of your car while we talk about some other shit? It's, yeah, it looked like a shark.

Godzilla, if he was tiny, went and just clawed the side of a fucking car. If Godzilla was tiny? You're just making up creatures now. Yes, if he was like this size. Stop it. What is wrong with you? You never know. That was the worst reference ever. What do you mean if he was this tall?

I mean, he'd be like fucking grizzly bear. That is not Godzilla. That is a baby Godzilla claw right there. What are you talking about? Going, huh, I'm going to just touch this real quick. That's the weirdest reference ever. You know what I would say? It's like a semi tire hitting the side of a vehicle. You're doing this elaborate story. What?

So you know Godzilla? You know Kaiju? Fuckin' Japan? Okay, now shrink him to about five foot tall, okay? Now, imagine if he's covered in rubber and slightly inconveniences your day by running into the side of your vehicle like a deer. Transforms into an 18-wheeler.

A normal sized one. Fucking Godzilla Optimus. And it slid against your car. Why is Godzilla Optimus not on the table right now? Can that be a thing? You're changing every dynamic of the creature. What the fuck was that? Y'all need to bring it back down to earth. Hey, we went on the nerd thing. Okay, packs.

I was there for a day. Yeah. I went to PAX for one day. You're like, yeah, I'm out. I was like, I can't get breakfast. Dim Tide's fun. I'm calling it Dim Tide fun. Dim Tide fun. That's why we kept going there because they were cool. And we walked the whole floor in like 30 minutes. And it's just like, no,

I want to go to Texas now. I'm going back. You're like, eh. We ran into so many rude people, too, man. Not just that streamer guy. There was a lot of rude people there. I didn't have a single fucking issue. Other than rude streamer guy. But I also didn't do a whole lot because I was dying. That's true. That is the lamest con because everyone was dying. I drank five drinks the entire time.

Six. I've never been to a con that I was so disappointed in. So sober and disappointed. Like I've been to a local little, there's a little con in Vermont called Bacaretsu gone. It's just like a little anime gaming thing. And it's a small Vermont in like a tiny hotel con. It was, I swear to God, it was busier than this. It was, I didn't go, we didn't even go to a single after party. I don't even know if there was, I got invited to one and I didn't go cause I was in the ER. Yeah.

Yeah, like I didn't go to a single one. The drugs were great. Oh, yeah. You got the good good. Yeah. It was not good good. I was vomiting on myself. That's always fun. What are you talking about? It was not. It's not fun. I was surprised at how, like, again, that is the worst PAX experience. I've went since 2010 to PAX Prime. Last year was the first one I didn't go to. And this year I was like showing up. I was like, God, this is going to be so bad. I was like. I'm so much. I was so excited.

Nope. Because when you and I, I think, drove up, whoever I was, I think it was you, like, we pulled up or we were walking to the con. I was like, yo, this is fucking dead. Yeah. But that's why we were walking up and I was like, this is fucking dead. I am so sorry. This is. I didn't realize it was going to be dead inside. I thought vendors still showed up. Dude, the empty room, like, they had, like, cordoned off half the con, like, more than half.

of the actual, like, exposition floor space, and it was just empty. There was photos on Twitter and shit of just, like, three chairs in the middle of the entire convention hall empty. It was like, why wouldn't you just cancel? You know it was going to be bad. Check your emails. PAX sent out an email saying 25% off on your next PAX ticket. They should have canceled it. And thank God those enforcers are really yelling at us about getting out of the way of those shenanigans.

We were standing when we were watching the Guilty Gear. Let's explain what the enforcers are real quick. Okay. PAX has like staff and support help and everything that guides people and tells them where to walk. And so they're always called enforcers, video games, nerd shit. They're called enforcers. It's funny. Well, somebody else. Some of them were a little overzealous. A little. You give a little power to some people. Dear God.

We were watching... Guilty Gear was the game? I gotta download that game still. Dude, it sounds fucking... Oh my god. Guilty Gear is... We were watching a tournament for Guilty Gear. The only tournament. And there was like 40 fucking people watching this tournament. Which should have been thousands of people watching these tournaments. And... Guilty Gear. Perfect. Got it right now. And...

And we had kind of stood off to the side and we were kind of watching it from like the big empty space where people usually walk, but there was nobody there to walk. So we were just kind of sitting there chilling. And this guy comes up, he's like, hey, you can't block the path. And I just kind of looked around for what people, like, who are we blocking right now? Like, maybe just take it down a notch. Like, I get it. It's normally busy.

If not right now, it's like Sunday at a PAX event. Fuck off. It's like imagine a highway. Now take that highway and place it out in the middle of... But there's only bikes on it right now. Yeah. Three bicyclists. Three bicyclists. And it is in the middle of nowhere.

Like one person comes by and you're like, okay, the next person will be here in about three hours. And we're just standing there like, oh, this is a good tournament going down. I guess we'll just leave. Yeah, same thing happened to me when I was waiting outside for the badges. I was standing over the line for the highway, basically. We're at the top of the escalators. And standing right, like almost on the line, and there's nobody walking. There's like 12 feet of highway.

And this one of the enforcers comes up this little female and she's like, you need to get behind the line if you're not moving. And I'm like, I'm on the line. No one's moving. There's no one here. It was the same exact scenario. The enforcers, some of them were a little, I get it. There's a hundred thousand fucking people, 80,000, whatever. But fuck,

Read the crap, the lack of crowd. Tone it down. Not everyone's having a great time. Let's not make it a worse time. Discretion. The security guards recognized us leaving that one time. And then we're like, oh, we can probably use that exact same door to go back in because they were super cool. Shout out to whoever those security guards were.

Yeah, there was one taking photographs for the con too. Yeah, everyone was super fucking nice. We tried to go back that second time and that new guy was there. There was a new security guard there. And that bruh, the power trip on that dude immediately. No, you gotta go that way. They like yelled at us right off the bat. Okay, where's the other guy? Where's the nop cunt? Yeah.

Just like you said, man. What was the guy doing on the street? When we were walking. Oh, no. Some dude was trying to sell us a CD on the street and we were all walking. I was like, nope. Oh, yeah. Batty is the...

Okay, we turned down like a guy, they came up or they'll try to talk. Seattle is CDs. They'll put CDs in your hand and then they expect you to buy it. Or they'll be like, oh, talk to us about this one thing that no one gives a fuck about. Oh, it was like some Save the Puppies charity thing. From New York.

And usually, you know, it's like, oh, no, thank you. I'm good. No, thank you. Donut's like, no, thank you. I'm like, oh, I don't have to. I'm sorry. And then you have Batty just like doing his fucking dwarven march. Hey, would you like to save the puppies? No! He's walking across the street. I'm like, holy shit. I was like, no one's going to approach that man ever again now at this con. And it worked perfectly. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure it was like a save the puppies charity event. You just killed so many fucking puppies, man. Not as many as Matt. Not as many as Matt. And kittens. Yeah, he's killed so many kittens. Carriker. I was sick of it because I had already offered like 14 CDs and I was like, I don't need any player. You're either buying PAX badges or CDs. They're like, yo, yo, yo, pop! Like CD and you're like,

I don't have a CD player. Were they predominantly darker skinned folk? Surprisingly, there was a lot of white people. No, of course. No. You were like, really?

It's just that. That's very shocking to me. Yo, we went to New York and everywhere they had those CDs, dude, out there. And I already knew their whole jigs. They just started handing out USBs, like fucking... I had a Jamaican dude like, bruh, bruh, bruh, here, take my CD. And I'm like...

Who has CD players anymore? Who the fuck has a CD player? I have not thought about that. Your car probably still doesn't have a CD player. It's probably gone now. Yeah. Does the Raptor have one? Nope. I think so. None of my cars have had CD players since I was in high school. Yeah, it's been a minute. When you took the faceplate off and you put it in your car so nobody would steal your CD player faceplate?

God, I never thought about that. That is not a good business model. Can somebody explain why that's a thing, though? Why did you take the faceplate off your CD player? So they could steal yours. You just said that. But that was the... Would people actually steal just the... I actually don't know. No, but they can't use the radio unless they have the faceplate. So that's why you take the faceplate with you so they'll be more inclined to not take the entire CD player. But if they steal your...

You gotta think. It makes sense in my brain. We're not criminals. If they steal it already, you gotta think they might already have a faceplate for it. That's true. The faceplate might be way cheaper to replace than the unit. Oh, maybe. That was kind of a dumb idea.

I don't know. I've lived in a ghetto for like five years, if that, and then my mom got us out. It was my one to five. So my zero to five. You don't have the code to tell us? Yeah, no. She was like, yeah, no, Oakland's bad. Get the fuck out of here. Let's go. We went to the whitest neighborhood that we can go in, and you have me. Yeah.

Skateboards. That platinum black card. Almost. Almost. It was ripped away. Dude, the funny thing is in high school, I gave out Negro cards. Oh, you were telling me about this. Wait, I used to make... I need to hear this story. We'll tell Party what to do later with these verbiage. Is it a verb or an out? Whatever you want to take it. I need space for that.

In high school, I used to go around and- You gave out passes? Yes. I would knight my friends, and I had laminated Nero cards that literally said Nero Pass on it. And I would date it and sign it and be like, you can say Nero for the rest of the year. And literally- Wait, you got a year's subscription to this shit? Yes! And I had a couple people that would subscribe each year.

Yeah, yes. Uh-huh. That was a thing that I did. How well does this work up in the court of Twitter, though? I don't know. Bro, if this would have gone, like, worldwide, I feel like it's a good system. Like, if you're like, oh, if somebody walks up and is like, oh, yeah, that over there, and you're like, oh, my God, though. It's going to be hard to get shot for it. I'm just like, put my – I just picture you walking home after school like –

Taking your boots off, put them down. Your mom's like, how was school? And you're like, not right now. It's been a long day of work. Here's rent, mom. You're paying your bills? How do you earn this money? Don't ask. I'm trying to make the world a better place. Say the same word that we say.

Yes. A subscription-based program. If you need help, I will make you one and send it here. No, no, I'm good. I'm all right. I am all right. I'm good. Batty's not using cards. So if you guys needed to know what the type of guy I was, there you go. Glad we saved that for the end of the podcast. Welcome to Unsubscribe, where the topics are made up and the guests don't matter. So why doesn't he matter then? So I'm recording right now.

I'll sell you a car real quick. I feel like if I opened a business for that, there would be a long line, though. I don't know.

I'm going to disagree with you. You don't think so? Nope. Richard, let's go get our pro cards today. Thank you for watching. Subscribe today. We got to go. We got batty streams. We got donut operator. Where can we find you at? At Nickel Jones or at Nigel Jones TV on YouTube. Spell it out. N-I-G-G-L-E Jones. There you go. Eli, double tap. Love you guys.