Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
I'm still not drinking. My throat hurts. Big shout out to Batty. Ranch water. It's not like a bong. I know. I don't know what that sounds like. That was through police investigation. Through police investigation. Dun dun. Directed by Dick. Bum bum. Yeah.
Batty, it's your turn to do a ranch water. No, it's always my turn. Every time it's my turn. I'm the only one who's not drinking. Ranch water, I love you. Thank you for everything you've done for me in my life. And I'm still sick and dying. I actually have a bit of a voice right now, which hopefully will last into the next five minutes. One portion of ranch water Batty just drank. Water. The other portion, the great wilderness of Texas. And cowboys, ranch water.
Ranch Water. I love Cowboys. Far West Texas. You guys play Red Dead? Red Dead. Red Dead Redemption 2. Transition right into video games. It's a cowboy game. It's the most popular cowboy game of all time. I don't know why since, I think because of Ranch Water, I've been watching a lot of Red Dead on Twitch recently. Like the Red Dead RP. I need to, I don't, I want to play, I haven't played either of them and I need to. What? Have you beat it? Yes. Yes.
Wait, for real? When it first came out. Red Dead 2? Yeah. Last week, Batty just complained about not having time to play video games or anything. Can I finish my story? Nope. You're a liar. The only time I've touched my Xbox One in two years was when Red Dead came out. I had to figure out how to get a capture card working. This is when I was still in Vermont. So that I could...
Get my Xbox capture because it only released on Xbox initially it was on PC So I was like how do I I'm gonna play it Cowboys and I just played the good the bad the ugly like song over and over on loop for like four hours Just and I played the fuck out of that game. It was a lot of fun But the online shit wasn't out yet now that that's all here like oh
I want to be a cowboy, baby. I want to be Kid Rock. I don't know. That's literally, I think the lyrics are all in that. Yeah, we just got demon. Straight up DMCA hit right now. My lyrics were terrible. Do you remember the kid that got kicked off of YouTube? He got a strike and his video got taken down when Red Dev first came out?
because he went and he beat the feminist up on the street and then tied her behind his horse and fed her to an alligator. Oh my God, yes. What? It was huge on Twitter. It was huge.
Oh, no, no, no, yeah, the alligator thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was like beating up a female. That was the title. And so he finds the woman in the street that she's protesting for women's suffrage. And he just beats the piss out of her and ties her behind his horse and drags her to the swamp and feeds her to the alligator. And he ended up getting a strike because of that. And the video got taken down. But they eventually put it back up because he's like, it's a video game. And they were like, okay, just change the title.
I mean the title was asking for it, to be totally honest. And that's the perfect transition again into Ranch Water and why it's amazing. Horses. No? Okay. Cowboys? Out of regs, hair gel. Where are you going with this? What are we doing? Women's suffrage? What is this bit? What are we doing right now? I thought you were doing a bit. Women's suffrage, are you for or against it? For it. Okay, good. Wow.
because i know what it means okay because i know what you did the skits on the street where the dude goes around with the pad and he's like would you like to end women's suffrage and all the women are like yes i wouldn't they sign it oh honey no i was glad i was like wait wait wait i know this you're like eli's fucking with me ranch water it's always but like red i don't know i really just kind of want to get into the online of red dead again like
I think it's because I moved to Texas and I just want to be a cowboy. Now you're a cowboy. I went to a rodeo the other week. I want to be a cowboy. Yeah, we got to go cowboy shopping still. Oh my God. Oh my God. Guys, do you want a photo shoot? That could be another. Yeah, that'll be a great unsubscribed photo shoot too. Three of us. The three amigos. I don't speak Spanish. Brokeback Mountain. Yeah.
Now you speak in my language, though. Ranch water. Can I be Jake Gyllenhaal? Or, oh, let me be Heath Ledger. I want to be Heath Ledger. And we can both be Jake Gyllenhaal? You can both be Jake Gyllenhaal. Eli told the waitress last night you were the bottom, so whatever role that is in the movie. I'm a power bottom. He's going to be our... He's the structure to the Eiffel Tower. Let's just say that.
He's a pylon. We're the hi-yah, and he's the hi-yah. Y'all are fucked up. All right. It's like a pig on a spit. What video game are we going to transition that into? Pig in a spit. Pig in a spit. I don't know. What video game does that? Did you say Pac-Man almost? Pac-Man. Pac-Man. Because he's chomping the berries. Dude, have you seen the documentary on YouTube where the guy's obsessed with Ms. Pac-Man?
No. Yeah. And he has every single... He wanted to marry Ms. Pac-Man. Yeah. Sexually into Ms. Pac-Man. It was really weird. He had every single thing Pac-Man, and then he was just really creepy with people. There are a few of those. I mean, oh, what was that? You get to see people like that where they're fully invested to whatever they're into. My Strange Addiction? Yes. Yeah. Like, this is my car. I fuck it. You're like... Dude's kissing his exhaust pipe like, stop it. Stop it.
Stop it. Exactly. Stop it. And then it hard cuts to like the parents interview and they're just like, their eyes are dead. He's our son and I'll love him forever. And you just see that dad in their eyes. It's like, oh man, they're not invited to the family. No. He's gonna be in the parking lot fucking his car. Kevin went out to the parking lot again. Dad just...
Speaking of cars, Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. You guys play Grand Theft Auto recently? I hear they're making six and the map looks like a dick.
Wait, for real? Yeah, it's like the anatomy. If you look at the anatomy in a textbook, I don't know if it's real. It could have been leaked. Like a sack? But it's like a sack, and then the roads are like the veins and stuff. Is Grand Theft Auto 6 actually a thing right now? I think. I haven't looked at it. I don't know. That got leaked, and everyone spread it around. It was like, look at this map. And you're like, look at it for a second. You squint a little bit like that's a dick. Oh, look at that guy.
That was running through Twitter. I mean, the end of the Grand Theft Auto 5 era, that's been like 12 years. It's still going. Dude, Shark...
Shark cards, the money you can buy with real money in Grand Theft Auto, Rockstar never needs to make a game again. Ever. I mean, that's why they keep it going. They're still making so much money off of it. Why develop another game? Oh, God, this game only made us $500 million this year. It's like, oh, yeah, we're good. Let's just keep this rolling. Because they spent the marketing budget on...
Grand Theft Auto V when it was announced. It's one of the most expensive games of all time. It was like $600 million or something ridiculous. That's crazy. $500 or something like that. Yeah, but it was absurd. For a video game? But also had the biggest launch. Oh, it's Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. After three, you just...
Three was like the catalyst. It's like, we go from overhead views that are like, oh, God, Vice City. Yes. To that. And you're like, yeah, we're good. Did you guys play like the fuck out of Vice City? Oh, yeah. It came out when I was in the eighth or ninth grade. Yeah, that was PlayStation 2. That was the OG one, right? No.
No, it was one in Miami. The second one, yeah. It had a bunch of Scarface vibes to it. Yeah, it was just... Scarface. It was Scarface the game. It was Scarface. It was so great, dude. You had the cheat codes in that? You had the cheat codes? I don't even remember them. You give me like an old, say, like Mortal Kombat, A, B, A, C, A, B, B. There's the blood code at the top of my head. I remember.
I remember some Age of Empires cheat codes off the top of my head. Some Starcraft Brood War ones. Like, Age of Empires equals MC squared if you type that in the console. It would make a little car appear and a dude with, like, a laser missile in the back of it and he would just drive around on the map and just nuke shit. It was Age of Empires, you know? Like, there's people with tomahawks and shit and this dude's just in a convertible like, me, me. It's like, what? Oh, cheat codes. Grand Theft...
Starcraft, I remember. Oh, God. What was it? Black Sheep Wall Removed the Fog of War. That was a big one. Do video games come with cheat codes built in, really, anymore? Everything's online. Cheat codes are dead in games, man. We talked about that a few podcasts ago, didn't we? The Game Shark and Game Genie and all the stuff we had when we were little. Yes. Everything's online now. Everything's connected, which means you can't have those cheat codes at advantage because that means somebody's cheating and then...
And everyone uses exploitation now. Oh, my God. Exploits? Cheating and exploits have just become rampant. Rampant. I mean, Cod is... You were telling me about a story. Who got in trouble? Nisei? He's a professional Valorant player. It's been all over Twitter recently that this guy got caught in an actual ranked tournament. Caught cheating. Like, there? Yeah.
I don't know if he was... It wasn't at an event, obviously. COVID, things like that aren't happening. But it was in... He's on a professional esports team. Caught cheating. During the tournament. While he was losing...
Hey, everyone out there that cheats, I'll punch you in your fucking face. Dick. Just dick. Dick. Or vagina. Yeah. I hate cheaters. It's ruined. Oh my god, I just remembered this. Last night, fucking murder sesh on Quads on Warzone. Yeah, on Warzone. Murder sesh. It was me, disaster.
Lightning and someone else. Lightning, Cosmic Warrior. Morphing, yeah. And then Morphing. Cosmic Lightning Warrior. Four. We're all four alive. And we're like, oh, there's literally two people left. Three teams, two people. So it's a one-one versus four. Because we're all alive. I fucking mow down one. One more. We're like looking around in the circle. I'm like, for the love of God, their stem glitching right now.
Dude, just out wherever he wants. You can just infinite stem glitch so the gas kills us. Yeah. And no matter what, he can just heal through it without having to... Yeah. Which Warzone... This has been going on for a year now. Literally a year. Warzone's...
Activision, again, huge shout out to that small indie dev team. I know they're struggling. Nothing like a big AAA studio. Their first game ever. Yeah. I mean, they have like, what, 10 devs max working on that game. Probably. So it's really difficult for them to implement those things. Yeah. And the money's just not there. Yeah. Only a few million in microtransactions every single day. Yeah. They're struggling. So I know it takes time, like two months, three months to fix a glitch. Mm-hmm.
And the same glitch has been here since a year now. Stem glitching has been a problem. And then you had like, yeah, they have so many cheats or whatever. Those are glitches. And it's just people like taking advantage of a broken system. Yeah. It's like, oh, it's
You're just laying there just like in the gas, just shooting yourself with health every few seconds. So you can't die. And you're on that whole fucking map. So we have no idea. We're just like the circle's closing. It's shrinking and shrinking. Yeah. And I'm like, well, we're going to die in three, two, one. All of us die. And we're like, we lost a baller ass game because dudes are glitching out wherever the hell. Dude, hacking and like, God, what's the word? Battle Royale games has been like since PUBG. Yeah.
holy shit, the hacking in PUBG or COD or whatever your fucking Battle Royale style game, Fortnite even, it's just like you see people just flying on the map or your aimbot hacks. It's like, why hack in a... What is the point of hacking in a multiplayer game? Like, honestly, do you...
Who do you brag to when you're like, fuck yeah, bro. Hey, did you check out my sweet dub play? You're glitching out in the middle. Yeah, but it's a fucking, a win's a win, bro. Yeah. Ha, and you're like, oh my. Even more now, you step that up into the competitive level, whether it's Valorant, CSGO, Warzone, whatever. Call of Duty, it doesn't matter. You're fucking, pick your poison. Like, why would you cheat? You're going to get caught.
Look, literally, you're going to get fucking caught no matter what. I mean, even if you don't get caught...
Like, how small has your dick got to be to jerk off to that? Like, that's my win as you're fucking aimbotting fucking through smoke at people. Like, what's... Where does... Why? If you want to see some, like, good compilations on YouTube, look up Twitch streamers caught cheating. Oh, dude, it's so good. Where they'll accidentally show their cheating overlay where it shows where people are on the map and they're just like... Where's that chick? I can't remember her name. Yeah, yeah. They panic and they try to, like, hide it real quick and they're like... Wait, who was on my...
What the F was that? I can't remember this girl. She said a name and it became a meme for the longest time. Sarah was on my PC earlier. She must have installed a virus.
Dead eyes. Just dead eyes. After a headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot. You just see her hand, like, slowly reach to the power button and shot off the stream. It's like, what happened? No, it was at first she started like, wait, does anyone ever get that glitch where you can just see all the players on the map through the walls? Weird. So crazy. And then she, and you can see her panicking slightly. And then she opens the console with the cheat. She's like, what is this? Close. Who?
Who was... Was Sarah on my computer? I told her not to put these things on. What did you do? Yeah, doesn't she pull out her phone? I'm texting her now. What did you... Oh, man, like...
Why cheat in a competitive sense? Like, what do you really gain out of that? I don't know how you could stream and do it. Like, streaming, because that would be my biggest fear, would be, like, getting caught. And a lot of those cheaters on every platform you're looking at. And, again, Activision. Hey, what's up? It's your boy. Yeah.
Eli Double Fab. If you could not make fucking Warzone free, charge $5 to $10 for the game. So then when... They don't ban IDs. They just ban the account. So you just make a new account. And that's all people... You're like, oh, this dude, he's level 12. And, oh, he's going 38 and 0 right now. He's really just carrying his team. Definitely not cheating. And you're just seeing him like...
You can tell cheaters on Warzone because they just run out by the game mechanics and how they play. They're just like running out. Zero fear. Middle of the field, open. All of a sudden, guns out. It's like, hey, what's up? Okay, he's dead. He's 400 meters away. Dead. And they're like, what the fuck? Shroud Jr., he killed me three nights ago. Literally, I don't know. That was the username. I spawned in.
Pop my parachute because I went gulag. I'm like, cool. I'm fucking ready. I'm coming. Where am I going? Drop Shroud Jr. And then it goes to their cam. And you see Shroud Jr.'s character. He's like looking straight with his rim 700. He's like, snap, fires. I'm not even visible yet. It just snaps headshot in a parachute. Dad, I was like, well, cool, man.
You can always see that Tarkov has this issue with hackers as well, obviously, because for the longest time they're like, we're going to use our in-house anti-cheat system, and that didn't work. But they do these, like, you know, they give out trial codes, or they do these discount weekends, and you're like, every time there's a discount on the game, every time there's a trial code, or a free weekend, or what the fuck ever, the influx of, we call them white names, because in the game there are, your basic account, or your trial account, anything like that has a white name in the game. Most of the time,
Most, honestly at this point, it feels like most players have what's a gold name or an EOD, a special edition of the game, because you've paid a little bit more for a special colored name. Whatever. Most people that play the game have that at this point, it feels like. But you see an influx of these white names, random letters and numbers in the name. You're like, I'm about to get fucking murdered in this lobby. Yep. Or you'll be just fucking running through the woods as long as you get snapped and you're dead. And you're on your kill screen. It's like, there's a white name with just, it looks like somebody smacked their face off the keyboard four times and that's the name. It's like,
There's that fucking random idiots account for the day. Like fucking. It sucks. I don't think we'll ever be able to get past cheaters. They're always going to find a way into our online games. What's your worst experience with them? With cheaters? Yeah. Probably some Tarkov stuff, man. People speed hacking shit on there. Oh God. I haven't seen that in Tarkov. That'd be. Oh yeah. It used to be. I haven't seen a lot of speed hacking lately, but it used to be. It used to be really bad. Not this way, but a few wipes back when you played a lot. It was really, really bad. Yeah.
People just across the map. Just zipping across the map. You'd just be like, what the? They'd appear in front of you, just pop your head with a shotgun or something. Yeah, yeah. Like, hey. There was one in Targa for a while where they would throw grenades, and they would just appear at your feet. Like, the grenade would just drop at your feet. It didn't matter where they were fucking throwing it. We call this God. God.
You're getting aborted. Grenade. It's like, what the? Borderlands. You ever play Borderlands? They have the grenades on there where they teleport. It's like that. Yeah. But in Tarkov. That was awful for a while. There was a loot hacks where people could take all of your equipment out of your bag. You'd open your inventory. You just see stuff getting dragged out of your inventory. Yep. It would just disappear. You would watch it slowly disappear. While you're playing? Yeah. Not dead. Alive.
Basically a hacker would just wait on one part of the map, wait for people to loot the map, they'd put in their bullshit, and then all of a sudden you'd open your inventory and you're like, where'd my helmet go? Wait, the gun in my bag just disappeared. You're watching it happen. - I just, oh, the poor guys that had that mid-fire fight, they're like, okay guys, we're gonna go left with the team of three. - My gun's gone! - Ready, one, two, gone. - Dude, straight up, there's videos of people.
And the grenade goes, like, disappears as he throws it. He's like, no! Dude, straight up, like, because this was before you, like, your hatchet and stuff couldn't be looted. So people would be there. They'd be, like, on the ground in labs or something, like, on this one, like, really hardcore map. And there's, like, a team being like, man, my gun just disappeared. Oh, hold on. We got a hacker. We got a hacker who's coming. My gun's gone, too. And the next thing you know, the guy's got his hatchet in his hands. We're just like, what do you do? You know, like.
See, I didn't mind exploiting labs back when labs first came out. But when you didn't have to pay to get into labs? You didn't, and then you run in with the TT with no gear on, and you run straight to the kitchen, and you would just shoot them through the little... The raiders, yeah. Yeah, did you do that? Absolutely. The Mosin or the TT? Yeah, dude, Freddy taught me that.
I mean, that's how you make money. Bro, we would just go there and just wait. He's like, okay, get everyone's attention. We'd be in the kitchen, doors closed, and you're just like, shoot them through the door holster. And you're like, oh...
loot everything leave good to go got a gnarly kit out of it some extra stuff oh man have you watched um uh summit play recently you were saying what's that yeah it's it's insane because him and him and uh it's him and landmark i think who've been doing it and they'll go into labs and they'll kill every player easily and then they'll just farm the raiders and i think that they spawn like infinitely right you can go back and forth and they keep spawning yeah they spawn for a long time until they're
And so they'll just go in. Yeah, they'll just go in and go around the map, kill everyone. Because there's only a set number of players. They don't respawn. And then they have just free reign to kill every raider that spawns. No scavs, no player scavs or anything like that. So once you... All the players are dead. Yeah.
Nothing but AI on the map. And then you can just farm. And they just make millions and millions per raid. That's the best way. I mean, that's literally the best way to make money in that game. Yeah. For those of you that aren't familiar with Tarkov, the labs map, what Batty was saying, it's like the hardest map there is because there's raiders, which are like hardcore AI in the game on there. You used to be able to get into labs for free, but
But now you got to pay between like, it's like $200,000, like $250,000 or something like that. You have to buy a special key card from like one of the vendors and not with real money, like in-game money, of course. And that's like your entrance fee. Yeah, to get into the map one time and then the card disappears. But used to, like Eli was saying, we go in for free with a little pistol and just kill all the big bad guys and get out with tons of gear. But it's not like that anymore. Yeah.
You'd have like the best gear in the game at that point. And you just do that. I remember they released it at like the beginning of a wipe too. So it was like, it just broke the entire patch. Cause at that point it was like normally like early wipe and Tarkov, they wiped the entire game. Everybody goes back to having no money, shit tier gear, level one. And early web is usually a lot of fun. Cause at that point people aren't running the best guns in the end. They don't have the best armor.
And so you're running around with like shitty pistols and AKs and Mosins and shit like that. And that's like where the fun is in that one patch. It was so bad because you just jump into labs, pop a Raider who's kitted head to toe M4 60 round mags doing all this crazy shit. And it's like, well, suddenly levels don't fucking matter anymore. No, and they used to, because you had the strafe glitch.
Oh, you just, you fucking, you would strafe. If you were around that corner, if you just strafed, yeah, the peak is advantage, but they couldn't see you back in that first thing. They were just like, look, and they just stare at you and you're like,
So, yeah, another unfortunate thing about Tarkov is desync. Their network is not good. It's been so bad lately. Oh, it's been awful. Like at times, you know, you figure from what you're seeing on your game or what I'm seeing on my game or what an enemy is seeing can be like a three to 12 second delay.
12 seconds in a competitive shooter think of how far you can move in like CS go We're talking you're going through the double doors you're down long a you're already around the fucking corner when that other dude has already shot You 18 times like he's not dying He's not dying but on his screen you're still back at the other end like and that's that's how bad it can be like on average It's a couple seconds at times. Yeah, which is wild and
That it's still a thing four years later. I don't know when they're going to fix that, man. The game's been four years in the making now, though. It's been longer than that, I think. Has it been? Yeah. I don't know. It's starting to get really, really good, though. I mean, this has been one of the best patches and wipes we've had in a long time. Definitely giving kudos to Battlesite Games for that, but like...
Hugh, that netcode, bro. Hi, Nikita. Batty and I want in-game items. Just throwing that out there. Beard and like a donut we can munch. And flip-flops for Eli. Shut the fuck up. You don't play anymore. You know there's sandals and socks in the game now? There's... They're Tevas. It's a scav with sandals and socks on. Oh, my God. Yeah, do that for me, Nikita. I'll play again. No, you won't. I will. If you have Eli flip-flops...
I play that game at least two days a week. Not like me every day for the last ever. That's why you choose me because I do have a life. I definitely don't. No, you play a lot. Both of you just live in that Tarkov life now. Yeah, I've been on a hard the past couple weeks since the wipe, man. My
I was, I don't know, like, I'm like, Cod, and then we played Tarkov finally. One time. And then you're like, we're going to play again. We're going to play. And then you didn't. I went to bed tonight. Are you? Well, maybe play. I'm probably going to take a couple days off of streaming because I tend to yell too much when I stream. And this whole throat infection and bronchitis thing kind of kicked my ass. Mono is taking you out.
You want to make out later? No, that's John's job. That is... Edit! We need to cut that out! That needs to go away! Oh, quick. Just quick. While I'm thinking about it. Got the text. Happy birthday to Mr. Willers. Billium. Billium is 22 years old today. God, what a fucking child.
Old Billiam. I feel old now. Oh, my God. Follow him on Twitch. Look at his face. Yeah, I just felt real old. You're like 20 years older than that or something, right? His first system was like the PS3. Yeah. I can't even picture that.
Like I always say, that's a good indicator of somebody's age. It's like, what was your first system? Oh, the PS4. And you're like, huh? I am your father. Go to your room. It was like Clinton Jones. I was like, what was your first system? He's like, Nintendo 64. I was like, sweet summer child. Sweet, sweet summer child.
What is the next topic that we wrote down because we're going to not make a natural transition right now and just force this transition? I mean, or we could have a pretty natural transition. So we were talking about cheaters, hackers, Tarkov, right? Yeah. Grand Theft Auto. We talked about that as well. Yeah. Cheaters, hackers, everything. Grand Theft Auto. Who made Grand Theft Auto?
Rockstar. You want to know what they made? Red Dead 2. You want to know the ending of Red Dead 2 even though you haven't played it? I'll spoil that shit right now. No. Boom! Oh, I already know this transition. Boom. I'm good. Spoilers in games. What's the cutoff? Spoilers in general, Batty. Fuck you if you do spoilers. How old is Aerith Dyes? You're welcome. I saw a comment on her YouTube video. It was like, spoilers. There is a time frame on spoilers. How old is Red Dead 2 now?
I don't know. It's two years. What? Two years old? Really? I mean, 2019, right? I was still in Vermont. So it's either it was 2019 because I wasn't last year because I wasn't a Twitch partner. I don't believe when I played it. That is. Yeah, it might be that old. That is a good. What is the time frame on spoilers? And in general, fuck you for spoilers. Like if it's a good ass show, you should still not like if it's your friend and you're recommending something. He dies in the end of Breaking Bad.
Yeah, you don't do that. Wow, you're just going. So it's he. He said he. He dies at the end. I mean, that's technically good. But if you're suggesting a show like I go up to Batty, I was like, Batty, you should watch Star Wars. It's fucking great. Dude, this twist when Vader, you find out Vader is Luke's dad's going to blow your mind. That is not how you get your friend hooked on a series, period, because you just gave away the big fucking hook.
You had a good point. What's the time frame on that, though? Because I think we're safe in saying Vader's the father. In general. In general. But if I'm like, Batty, have you ever seen Star Wars? Now, Batty's never watched Star Wars in his life. No. He's not a nerd. He's a fake one. Stop it. I have two Star Wars tattoos. Stop it. The internet will get mad at me. They'll be like, he's a fake nerd. He's a fake nerd. Stop it. What? Stop it. Okay. Live long and prosper.
May the force be with you. I'm going to re. Wait, is it may the force be or it's may the force be with you? I forget. It's something like that. It's one of those two. It's one of those two. You should stop. What is the time frame though? And we're going to cut. Yeah, so like, I don't know, like Red Dead 2. Two years.
But you can't tell. Like, now I don't want to know because you know I'm going to play it. So you better not fucking say the ending. Otherwise, I'll... I suddenly just... I have power now. I'll ruin... I have power over you. I will ruin Attack on Titan for you. That's how you take power away, ladies and gentlemen. Oof. Right there. Look at Batty. He's like... I'm going to say this.
The amount of anime and other shows like that I've ruined for myself because like what you did. Go on the wiki. You get caught up to wherever you went or you're like, you realize you have like a hundred episodes to go and you're like, I ain't got time for this. Wiki up. Who's his dad? What are the Titans? That shit. I stay away from the internet. I definitely did that for Attack on Titan. Because it was, yeah, that was years ago, man. I jumped in there and
Kind of looked up where the Titans came from and how they're made and who they are and who's Titan and all that stuff. And mistakes were made. And that's where you're like, oh, God, I screwed up. I screwed up. I cannot be. I have to stay back. When spoilers come out, I just wait. I'm like, nope, I'm taking a break. I'm stepping back. If an episode comes out, I'm like, I don't want to ruin this on chance. I won't get on Reddit.
I only follow like 300 people on Instagram, so most of those people do not watch anime in general. I know Matt Best is not going to ruin Attack on Titan for me. I'm going to text Matt to try to get him to ruin some anime for you. Just because it would be so fucking out of the blue. Matt, post this on your story. This is a main post for Matt? What? He just did a YouTube video about this?
He doesn't even do Attack on Titan breakdown videos. Dear Eli. God, man. For movies, though, what's the worst spoiler you've had?
Should I even say the spoiler? What if people haven't seen it? Logan, the movie Logan. No, that's fine. Logan's old at this point. You're allowed to say it. If you haven't seen the movie Logan, the Wolverine, the old man Wolverine movie, go watch it. Spoilers right now. Spoiler alert. Have you seen the new movie Logan, Wolverine Dies in the End?
Well, thank you for that. You just ruined everything at once. Completely destroyed the movie for... Oh, God. I'm trying to think what the worst spoiler for me was. I think it might have been one of the new Star Wars movies. Which one? What happened? The...
We might have had the same one. I know what you're talking about. Was it the newest one? Again, spoilers alert. I saw it on Twitter. I think I know what you're talking about. The very end. Well, we got spoiler alert. People were spamming it. This is your fault if you're listening. The Palpatine connection with Rey in the movie. Yeah. That was probably one of the... Because a lot of people shit on these new movies. I don't care. I love Star Wars. I don't care if it's bad or if it's good. I will take Star Wars on the big screen every day of the week. Which...
Whether it's the original trilogy, the sequel, the OGs, I don't care. I love it all. Even if it's stupid, Palpatine, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to watch it. I'm going to love it. And somebody spoiled it for me, and I was so angie.
so i was a very angry boy. Oh, I just thought of my best one. I was in line waiting for the last Harry Potter book at Barnes and Nobles and someone drove by and screamed spoiler spoiler alert spoiler alert. Snape dies in the end and there's like that there's like two hundred people stand outside and I was I was there waiting for hours to get the new Harry Potter book and someone did that to me. Yeah,
That is a book spoiler. That's like some George R.R. Martin Game of Thrones level shit. Well, I read stories about people walking out of... He's still angry about this. The ending? That's the thumbnail right there. That face. Because I still go back to... I was reading stories about people walking out of What the Empire Strikes Back.
And people walking out of that, oh, gee, 1978. When did that come out? 80. 80s. The original was, what, like, 77, 78 or some shit. And the next one was, like, 81. Dude walking out would be like, man, Vader's dead. This is crazy. Just being in line, you're like, I'm going to hold the front door. When did this happen? Just being, like, so upset about that. I don't know. Like, that's. That's one thing about streaming that's hard, though. Like, when something big's happening, like Marvel movies, Endgame. Mm-hmm.
Iron Man fucking dies, right? Yeah. Because the chat will get in. People will troll and just get in the chat. They'll make brand new accounts on Twitch just to join in and be like, this happens. So you have to, like, unfortunately for your mods. Nightbot has to be in there. Not even Nightbot. Your mods, the unsung heroes of Twitch, because these motherfuckers are the ones banning these messages a lot of the time before the streamer themselves sees it.
Or you can put little delays so your chat won't even see it. But your fucking mods are getting spoiled. These bastards. God bless all of your souls for protecting us from the worst spoilers in movies and gaming and whatever. But they get shit ruined. You can put in keywords like... A lot of the time when a new movie is coming out, I'll block the phrase Marvel or something like that. That's a good idea. So if they come in immediately, they can't type half their sentences. A lot of the times, they'll just fucking leave. Because that alone...
It's like, oh, already too much effort for my low-effort trash meme. I will say, I waited two weeks to watch Avengers, the final one. Endgame. Endgame, it was like I had a week or two where I didn't, and I stayed off the internet. I was like, mm-mm. Mm-mm. I'm just not turning on my phone, not going on anything right now because I want this, a clean slate going in. How did you survive that, like,
I saw it the night it came out. Someone put it on Twitter. Oh, you saw it? The ending, yeah, man. People are brutal. I don't go on Twitter, though.
I have to. I don't know. I live on Twitter. Yeah, I work off of there. That's where most of my content from my main channel comes from. Oh, yeah. And I also have 38 followers. I'm following 38. My Twitter... All my feeds are really dead, actually, now that I think about it. It's like Twitter's really bad. Because it's like I hit scroll up and it's like you guys. I'm like, oh, that's okay. That's about it right there. And Twitter's done. Okay, I've browsed all of Twitter. Twitter's like a cesspool, but like...
It's like a drug, like, it's bad for me, I know it, but motherfuck if I ain't having fun! Let's see who's getting cancelled today! Like, fuck, man, it's...
God, I hate spoilers. Some people just found out on Twitter. This is coming back full circle. I love it. It does this every couple years that Robert Downey Jr. did Blackface and Tropic Thunder. And so there were... Just finding that out. No, it happens every couple years, though. Yeah, it just rolls back around. I guess kids that finally discovered old movies exist and they get on. They're like, Robert Downey Jr. did Blackface. So there were people complaining about that on Twitter yesterday. That was pretty funny. There's been a couple interviews with him where they're like, this movie could not have been made...
Like a year later. Yeah. Tropic Thunder is one of my favorite movies of all time. Loaded lock, boys. I'm a lead flower, motherfucker. Yeah, everything about it. I'm a dude playing a dude dressed as another dude. And you're like, this is...
It's amazing. It is. Every part of it. The entire movie start to finish is like, do you remember going into theaters to see Tropic Thunder and seeing the fake commercials in the beginning of it? Fucking what? Busting up bar and like booty sweat. Booty sweat. Just to make them say booty sweat. Booty sweat. Booty sweat. Booty sweat. And then that dude's gay. Fuck.
Oh, yeah. Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire. Oh, yeah. And then the next commercial. Yeah, they're the monks. They're like, it was called Satan's Alley. The music is all sexual. And it's like low tone. It's like, but I'm very bad. It's like, whoa. Booty sweat. The fatties.
Oh, yeah, with Jack Black. Was it Klump's or is that the real one? That's the real one. That's the real one is the Klump's and the movie one was Fatty's. There's Fatty's and they're just farting. Jack Black is a national treasure. What would they call the one...
The movie's four. It was like Fire-geddon or Armageddon. Oh, it was like number eight, though. Yeah. And then finally it went to the other one, Ice Age. What was it? God, I can't even... Was it Scorched something? Scorched! It was literally Scorched. It was just Scorched. He's gonna destroy the world to save it. Scorched 8. He's like, what the fuck? Looks like it's a little cold today. What was the last time we... Oh, man. What was...
There's no movies like that anymore. God, no. You can't. Yeah, Will Ferrell, Blades of Glory, any of that stuff, there hasn't been a good just... Raunchy comedy. Period. I'm trying to think of the last one. I can't name it. Do you remember the era of American Pie, Not Another Teen Movie? Those movies, again, are we too old? Let me just point out, that's when Will was born. When American Pie 1 came out around that time period.
Poor Billiam. That was like 2000, 99, 2000, right? Yeah. Oh yeah, those people are 21. When old Bill was born.
Van Wilder. Oh, Van Wilder was good. Classic. God, see, they don't have any... Are we just old or they just not make those anymore? Does National Lampoon do movies anymore? Because that was what Van Wilder was. That was a National Lampoon movie. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It was. Was it? National Lampoon is Van Wilder. Was it? I don't think so. I'd have to look that up. You got the power on doing it right now. We're pulling that up. Van Wilder was...
back before Terry broke yeah she was decently attractive at that national lampoons no I had that movie on DVD and what would happen I watched it so many times that was like my nightly ritual movie because there was a great couple pairs of tits in it and when you're that it's like duh just like American Pie exactly so what happened is the movie was finished oh Shannon Elizabeth yeah
The movie would finish, and the song, motherfucking bouncing, oh, God, Sugar Colt, was the theme song for Van Wilder. And that song is burned into my memory. It's on my stream playlist now. And every time it comes on, I'm just like, Van Wilder. I want to go back and watch that now, man. There's so many good – what was the one with – I actually watched this recently because I haven't watched one of those teen –
Yeah, it was with Jennifer Love Hewitt is the guy that was the nerd. He was trying to confess his love to her through a note. It's a recent one. No, this is again when we were growing up. Oh, why can I not? Preston is the guys that why do I remember? And I can't remember. And then Jennifer Love Hewitt. And I don't know her name in it. I just know her. Oh, man. Love Hewitt. You've had to watch this. I'm sure I have. Like.
He's like wrote a note and it's like the high school party. It's the last time you can tell her you love her and come out. It's like every teen movie ever. Why can't I remember the name for this? In the comments, please save Eli for this. I can't think of it. Don't look it up. Don't look it up. Don't look it up. You don't get to know anymore. It's going to be. I just want you to just suffer for the next. It has Seth Green in it. Oh, man. Eurotrip?
No. No. He wasn't in Euro... I was about to say Euro Trip, though. That's weird. It's the same... It's that same style of movie. Like, American Pie, Euro Trip. Like, those don't... Broken Lizard movies. Oh, yeah. Super Trooper. Shout out to Super Troopers. Oh, yeah. Love Super Troopers. Vermont, what up? Beer... What is that? Beer Fest. Beer Fest. Yeah. Yeah, that was... Dude, that's got the best character transition in any movie.
my brother landfill died chugging beer. I'm his twin brother. I would really appreciate if you guys would just call me landfill as well in his honor. That's it. Character dies, reach, do's character. Same name. You're like, this is a plot development, right? This is brilliant writing. Brilliant. For real. It was awesome. It was fucking hilarious. You, you could never have that happen now. Like that style of comedy, like slapstick comedy. It's, I feel like it's gone. Oh,
I found your movie title. What's it start with? What's it start with? Can't. Huh? It starts with can't. Can't. Make this up. Can't. Break. Can't. Can't. Point break. How do you feel when you look at me? Can't fat ginger. Can't fat. Oh my God. How'd you guess that? What is it? What is it? Can't hardly wait. Can't hardly wait. Hard. Oh, that hard. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I feel. Can't hard.
Can't flaccid wait? What is it, Benny? I can't flaccid? I'm going to slash your tires. I can't ginger fuck right now. Can't ginger fuck. That's our word. Thank you. You guys aren't gingers. You don't get to say it.
Can't hardly wait. You remember that? Yes. I've never seen it. I don't remember the name of it, but I remember the movie. Oh, you have to watch it. I'm going to have to watch it. And American Pie. Can we have a binge night at Van Wilder and Tropic Thunder? We can do a... Also on our stream, we could do a watch party if they're on Amazon for Amazon Prime people. So we could watch it with all of our people. This is just a side throw off of another podcast. So they watch one of those style of movies.
whether it be Can't Hardly Wait or Blades of Glory and they watch it every time for each podcast and then they have to do a breakdown. So it's like episode 700 and they're like, so watch the movie.
And they're just like, so painful. And they're just so miserable about it. I never noticed his eyes are so blue. You know, they're like new details that they've never seen before. Robert Downey Jr. He's got these contacts out and he has beautiful blue eyes. You're like, God, watching a bad movie every time, you're just like, yep, that'll do the trick. Yeah, we need to do an Amazon stream party with...
There's got to be some of these movies have got to be on there. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I bet all of them are on there. Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I've ever searched for something on Amazon. It wasn't there. Movie wise. It can be any movie on Amazon. I don't know. Maybe it's only the Amazon prime ones. I don't, I don't know. We'll, we'll, we'll circle back to that. Yeah. Not another teen movie. Oh, that was a good one. What's her name? Lacey Chabert. Lacey Chabert. If you're out there, what's up? For real?
Yeah, that was my crush growing up. Okay. You know who that is, right? It's the girl from, I mean, not in your team. Lost in Space. What? She was the chick in Lost in Space, too? Yeah, and Party of Five. Oh, man. Dude, Lost in Space, whatever happened to that fucking movie? It was set up for the perfect sequel, and then it just, that was like another 2000s, 99 movie, right? Exactly, and it was like, boom, here we are. And that was, like, growing, I was like teen Eli. I was like, oh, this is my crush.
And that's what started that crush. And then it just stayed for a long period of time. It's still, still here. It's still there. Right here. I don't remember that movie. Lost in space. It was a movie. It was like, it was with Danger Will Robinson and like, Oh, okay. Nevermind. I gotcha. I gotcha. Heather Graham. Yep. When she wasn't doing, showing her naked body. And what was that movie? With Marky Mark when he shows his dick.
Oh, Deuce Bigelow? I think that is... Oh, wait, no, no, no. You know what I'm thinking about? That's Rob Schneider. You know what? I'm thinking about Dirk Diggler. It was the one about Boogie Nights. Yes.
With Rob Schneider? I said Mark, you Mark. Rob Schneider's just... Shows his mammoth dick. Old hung Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider is a giant cock. Rob Schneider and Deuce Bigelow. It always comes back to dicks, doesn't it? No matter what we talk about, cock.
Oh, Boogie Nights. That's it. I don't know if I've seen Boogie Nights. What, you haven't? I don't think I have. Heather Graham skates. No, she just walks. She's like, okay, and just drops trowel and top. Yeah, you go from literally lost in space to PG teen kids movie, and you're like, hi, I'm Heather Graham. Hard cut right to that, and you're like,
Hello, Heather Graham. Puberty! Exactly. Except for Will because he was one when that movie came out. Yeah, he was. Shout out to Billiam again. Shout out to Billiam. Everyone go say hi to WillerZWillers on Twitch or any of his platforms and say happy birthday. Yes.
Tell him he's got a nice cock. I say belated birthday because we're doing this on a Thursday. You guys get this Monday. No, just say happy birthday. It doesn't fucking matter if you watch this in December, fucking September. Just go fuck with his shit. Go tell him happy birthday. Yeah, he deserves that. His birthday. That was a weird rant just going from spoilers to now.
Rob Schneider's dick into Heather Gramp is good transition. Yes, you're welcome. Deuce is with Marky Mark's dick. Deuce Bigelow. The Lion King? Star Wars. No, these are all very wrong. Star Wars. Do you remember Zack and Mary Make a Porno? I haven't watched that. There's a scene in that movie with Seth Rogen where I look
identical to him back when my hair was all long because I used to have like it wasn't like this long but it was like curly and long and my beard was short there's a gif where somebody did a face swap of me with it in the actual scene it's the same fucking face I used to show my friends as a joke at work and they'd be like oh that one's you I'd be like that's Seth Rogen bro when my beard's short it's terrifying I love that movie you gotta watch it man because the porno they make is called Star Horse
Oh my God. That's going to be Star Wars themed. It's really good. Are we allowed to spoil the movie now? Seth Rogen dies in the end. She is his father. Yeah. Now I don't know if this is true. Now I'm just, this is the best boys. Cause now I'm like, my friends could be fucking with me. So I'm going to just go in thinking he dies. I'm like,
Anything that's about to happen, like a knife enters the scene, I'm like, here it comes. Here's a gun. Here's a war. He's out of breath. He's going to have a heart attack. What are these magic fingers going on here? This is me just waiting. Here it is. Here it is. I'm just on my couch. It's like Attack on Titan. We were speaking in code in front of Donut. Oh, man. Because of the spoilers. I haven't caught up yet. I know. How far did you make it? So I watched the first season and a half years ago, and I'm about to finish the first season. I'm re-watching everything. Dude, y'all were geeking out so bad.
And I just want that feeling. I want that anime feeling. Bro. So when we were at lunch just before this, we were like... Just word vomit. Real hard. It's the fourth season of Attack on Titan is holy fuck. Y'all need to go watch it right now. Get caught up. It's so good. You sit up in your chair. Like, as I was saying, like episode four on. I haven't had a TV show make me do that. You are sitting... Like, I was laying down chilling. I was like, yo, this is...
set up on my couch. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Oh my God. And then episode. And it's, I'm like one more week. I got to wait a week. Cause bad is now experiencing that. Cause he didn't have to deal with. Cause I binged watched one through three, which is all on Hulu.
So that you can just keep going, keep going, keep going. I didn't realize the fourth season is on a weekly release right now. So they're on episode eight, I believe. I think nine comes out tomorrow. Yep. Or Monday. Oh, so they're just now slowly releasing. It's just coming out. Oh, I got to get called up now. And this is the final season too. No shit. Yeah, it's not like this is season five. This is it. It ends. Yeah, definitely getting called up.
It's so... Fuck. It goes hard. I don't do a lot of anime. I did a lot of the old school anime. Your Triguns, your Cowboy Bebop, shit like that. Your old school Toonami. But holy shit if this didn't suck me in hard, man. It's so good. It's like... This show's like ReZero where everything ends on a cliffhanger, unfortunately. Isn't there another season of ReZero that just came out? Yeah, it just started. Just started? Is that what it was? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they had...
they did half of the last season and now they're doing the last half. So, and those episodes right now are really, really good. I'm like, that's girl. Red show. All those shows. Oh, that's why I love anime minus how they end. And on that cliff note, Batty, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff,
That's going to be it. Oh, shit. No. Go to YouTube. Watch the videos. Subscribe. Unsubscribe podcast. Spotify. Amazon. Google Play. What's the other one? Stitcher. Castro. Podbean. I don't know. These are all the places you can listen to our podcast. Put them there. Follow those. Make sure you leave a review for us. It really helps. It'd be great. Yeah. The three people on Castor Bean. Thank you. What?
I don't even know what that platform is. Spotify. Just go leave a comment on our YouTube about Eli's wonderful pecs. Thank you.
