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In Dublin you feel like it's progressive and then when you come here you're like actually no I can be myself. And it is progressive but like you feel like see the thing is the biggest thing in Ireland I think is and it's one of the biggest insults that we had growing up was doesn't she love herself you know what I mean? That's still going on doesn't she love herself or whatever so sometimes you're half afraid to like just on a regular day if you're just doing an ordinary activity to dress up and look
Gorgeous. Or the backhanded compliments. When I used to work in retail, there was this guy, now he was a bit bitchy in fairness, but he would be like, this retail doll. Yeah. Like I, I wish I had the time in the morning like you. Oh, stop it. I wish I had the effort. You know, in the mornings, if I'm back home in Cork and I make an effort with my breakfast, if I like, you know, do a bit of like an avocado moment, poach the eggs. My mom goes, she's done you have a great life.
And I'm like, what, poaching eggs? And I'm like, anyone can do this if they get up a half an hour earlier. It's not that I live a life of luxury that I'm just strolling about my morning making poached eggs. Like, anyone can do it.
What does she have for breakfast? She would only ever have like a bit of toast and cornflakes. Oh, what's your my mam? No, sometimes. Oh, actually, no. My mam's a sparrow, like full on sparrow. Oh, no, but all moms are like, I had a bit of yogurt and a teaspoon of granola. You know, they're like toddlers. But what's it about? I don't know. Or we'll be having dinner together and my mam will be
be slaving over the oven, right? And it will come to eating the lasagna and then she'll go, she won't put out any for herself. And I'd be like, you're not having any. And she's like, I ate earlier. I ate something big at lunch. And I'm like, what did you have? And it's just a standard lunch. No, or it's like a scone. Or it's a scone. Yeah. No, I had a huge scone at lunch. My mom's always hated cooking at home. So...
Now that my sisters are like adults and live with her, she always expects them to make dinner. So when they're not there, she literally, I come over and she goes, do you know what I had for dinner last night, Caitlin? It's gas. Listen, a packet of crisps and a pint. But I think that's what they do. My mum's the same. Yeah, that's what she does. And then my mum is actually like, she's having to get into such a habit because most of us are moved out of the gaff as well. So my other brother who's at home, if he's not staying around for dinner, she'd be like, just got a small pack of chips. Yeah.
Just have a bag of chips. I'm like, actually, is that kind of iconic? No, it is. Treat yourself. We're talking into this because we are talking, right? We're talking into it. Now, also, are we having a bit of a prelude, preamble about what we're actually getting into? Or is it fine? No, no, it's fine. There's no structure. Is it just having the chance of keeling? It's just having the chance of keeling. I love that. I kind of focus a little bit now because it's called growing up. Yeah. I like to do a little bit. On trauma. Yeah.
No, no. Childhood trauma and how you've overcome it. This is a picture of you as a kid. What would you like to say to him? What's your biggest trauma? Your biggest traumatic story challenge. So how has your childhood trauma affected your everyday relationships in your adult life?
No, I like to do like, what were you like as a kid sort of thing. I'd love to know what was in your lunchbox at school. Do you know? Yeah, yeah. And then hopefully people start talking about the trauma. Usually that just comes in. Yeah, okay, fantastic. I love that. Yeah. Is that a question you ask in every ep? No, I've just thought of that for you. I think that's brilliant. Yeah. I think it's actually really insightful. And then you have kids growing up who...
like pack their own lunch going to school you know and have to grow up really fast or you know some of the kids who their parents was true my five are coming into school or like in the height of the Celtic Tiger you knew it lands and they were like literally spending 20 quid in the shop before school every day and you're like who's giving you 20 quid you're a child do you know what I mean yeah it's like peak Celtic Tiger yeah peak I remember uh Starbucks came in
Boycott now. Boycott. Boycott. Also, stop going to Starbucks anyway. The coffee's shite. It is shite. And also stop making it your personality. The novelty though, when I was just on Tumblr, I was about 13, 14. You are such a Tumblr kid, aren't you? Yeah, I am. You're the Tumblr girl. Luckily, it didn't affect me too much. Good, we're glad. Other than the Starbucks thing. I was just like, actually, I love capitalism. This is going to sound so embarrassing, but it was like the cool thing because, you know, it was...
from America right or originally in America and it was like oh that's what the Americans are doing I used to have before there was even a Starbucks in Ireland I used to have a Starbucks screensaver on my phone because I was like isn't this so fucking cool and I was like look at me with my Starbucks screensaver and it's so embarrassing actually to even admit like how embarrassing is that but they did such a good job at advertising that they made Starbucks a cool thing they made it a cool thing the branding was so cool whereas now I think it's actually is it not the most basic thing
You can be kind of doing or be seen doing is going around with your Starbucks cup. I hopefully now it's a bit embarrassing. I would hope that. A bit embarrassing. Well, you'd be surprised. The thing is, I think bring back shame. Some people aren't ashamed enough of themselves. Sometimes, but I think we're shaming for the wrong things at the moment. Shaming for the wrong things at the moment. Yeah. We need alternative forms of shame. Yeah. We should be shaming for shaming. Shaming for shaming. Absolutely. Let people get on with their lives. Follow for follow. Shame for shame.
Shame for shame. No, but I was influenced more in the Tumblr era to smoke the Marlboro Red advertising branding. Oh,
I loved that. I was smoking out my window as a teenager. My mom caught me. Really? What age? I was 16. She caught me, took my box of smokes, but I had another box in my bedside table because my parents were divorced at this stage. And you know, my dad would get the guilt and he would just give me cash the odd time. He would just, you know, he's like, I can't spend time with you, but here's some money. Right. So I was like, it's time for me to spend this on... Siggies. On Siggies and weed so I can impress boys. And could,
Was this at the time where you could still get a packet of cigarettes in the pub, you know, in the machines? Yes. And they were about five. They were only five quid, weren't they? I was nearly influenced to start smoking. Oh, you weren't a smoker? I actually found it, like, I completely despised smoking. I used to rip up my mamma. Both of my parents smoked all...
the time when I was growing up. Yeah. And I used to rip up their cigarettes. I used to be able to stand the smell. Yeah. Oh, you didn't like the smell? Hated the smell, hated everything about it. And I used to be, this is so weird. I was so like overly aware of my own health as a child. Oh. It's really, really weird. And like, I used to get like fixated on like, you know, the latest health craze, even though like I was a child and I was like mostly just eating all the food that my mom prepared for me. Yeah, yeah. And also I didn't really touch a vegetable for...
my teenage years really. Okay. But I remember being like, I've actually, this is going to sound crazy, I've never actually smoked a cigarette in the entirety of my life. I've never been on a night out and been locked and gone, give us a drag off your fag.
I've never smoked a cigarette. That's brilliant. But isn't it kind of crazy? And now because I've just reached a point in my life where I haven't smoked a single cigarette and I'm 31, I'm like, well, I'm going to have to not smoke for the rest of my life. Yeah. But then I'm like, oh my God. What about the little vapes? I'm known to have a little puff of a vape of a night out if I'm in the smoking area with the girls or whatever, or at a festival. Yeah. I usually come home the end of it and I'm like, what's with these four vapes in my bag? You know what I mean?
So I can get down for a vape because there's a fruity smell. Okay. The smell doesn't put me off. Yeah, yeah. Fruity smell. Yummy. Yummy, yummy, yummy. And that's the thing. That's where they get us in it. They make them yummy. Yeah. And they make them so cute. Like, I just think they're so cute to be like a little accessory. Sometimes, you know, when you're leaving the gaff and you're like, okay, I have a bag. Is there any way I could like dress up this outfit another bit? You're like, pop a vape in your hand, girls. A splash of color.
Yes. But don't vape. No, but it'd be gorgeous now as a key chain or something. As a little key chain. Yeah. A little charm for the phone. Yeah. Charm for the phone. With the Starbucks background wallpaper. Fuck the road phone cases. You could get one stuck with the vape. With the vape holder. A vape. Or if you're an entrepreneur out there, phone holder, that is a vape.
Phone case, that's a vape. Yes. Yeah, you can actually just pop your phone into it. Nah, that's too much radiation in it. Now, I'm frantic because I'm going, have we started? We have, haven't we really? That's the part. I think let's wrap things up. Minisoad. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's it. Do you do an intro or anything? Are you manic? I'm manic. You don't even go hello? No.
Keelan literally hasn't even said hi to me since I saw her five minutes ago and I came into the room. She just sat down and just expected me to start talking. Because it's supposed to be just like a normal conversation. It's not supposed to be an interview. Yeah. Also, did you let people know that we just paid £1.35 for the cafes? I know. No, don't tell people the secret. We have to boycott. I mean, not boycott. We have to gatekeep. We have to gatekeep. I'm getting my buzzwords wrong. I'm back for gatekeeping. Gatekeeping is in in 2024. So would you tell me what was in your lunchbox at school?
In my lunchbox in school, my dad, in fairness to him, used to make all of our lunches. Oh. Right. So typically it would be a ham sandwich, nothing fancy. Yeah. There wasn't even cheese in it. White bread for the most part. I'd say maybe come fifth or sixth class, we made a turn to the multigrain. Oh, or the half and half. Or the half and half. It was probably there. I didn't go full whack brown. Yeah. So I used to have ham sandwich, a banana sandwich.
which was typically burger bites yum or
We also used to have wheelies. Yum. It was one of those alternated between the two. Sometimes chickadees. Remember chickadees? They're so good. Oh my God. This is actually such a great question to like spin me back to the past. And then I would always have a chocolate bar, right? So it'd be like a purple snack or a penguin. But then I got into the habit. Now, if John Fitzgerald or part of his family listens to this podcast, I don't think John does, but perhaps his sister might.
They're probably thinking, I can't believe he's going on about this again because he has mentioned this so much. And the poor boy, John, who was in my class, probably can't even remember doing this. But I used to swap him. I used to give him like a purple snack and he'd give me a slice of Madeira cake.
I was living it up. Oh my God. I was living the dream. I was living like a king. It was good trade. I was like, I didn't make sense to me that he was willing to give me, maybe he just craved chocolate a bit. Well, you just, I suppose you get the sick of the same thing every day. Yeah, absolutely. Also, I was the type of kid, like, I don't know how they expected children, right? To exercise self-restraint when it came to managing our lunches between a small and a big lunch. Like,
Like I was a greedy fucking kid. So I ate all my lunch at first break, right? Used to always do it. I might leave the banana for a second lunch or whatever. So then it came to whatever time in the day it was one o'clock and I'd be fucking starving. Also because I was such a greedy kid as well. There was definitely a few times when I was in primary school, I went up to the teacher at second break and I was like,
teacher, I don't have any lunch. Like, I forgot my lunch. And she'd be like, why didn't you come to me at like a first break? And I'd be like, I was too embarrassed. And then there'd be a collection in the class. Remember they used to do that? They'd have a small bit of a collection in the class and they'd offer you up their treats. And I'd literally be like, thanks so much. How embarrassing is that? Oh my God, you greedy ghost. But also clever, wasn't it? It's very clever. I was a bit greedy when I was younger. That's stealthy though. It's resourceful. Yeah, absolutely. And look, I'm all the better for it. Like, the thing is...
evolution like I fared better than the rest of the kids in the class they were all wasting away to nothing and I was I wasn't I was probably still one of the one of the weaklings really survival of the fittest exactly
I was a bit of a psychopath with my lunch. Always a bit of a control freak. Now, my mom says that I was cooking dinners by the time I was four. But you know the way moms are just like, you were so advanced. She was so advanced. What, dinners? She was like, she was cooking dinners when she was four and writing screenplays when she was five. Do you know? Well, whatever with the screenplays. But should you be left near a cooker at the age of four?
That was kind of expected of us now. At the age of four? Oh, you have to be cooking now. Oh my God. We would be cooking. But for my lunches, my dad would most of the time make the lunch and it'd be like a granary seedy bread with clumps of butter and ham. Yeah. Then I started making my own lunches because I was like, I can't take this anymore. So I would put slices of smoked salmon in a plastic bag. Fuck off.
Smoke salmon. Smoke salmon in a plastic bag. The poor girl sitting next to you in fucking school. And I'd eat them with my hands. No, I'm getting sick.
Yeah, grapes chopped up into halves, obviously because they're a choking hazard. Were they the candy floss grapes from M&S that everyone was obsessed with in the early millennium? Do you remember that? No. Everyone was like, oh my God, these grapes taste like candy floss. No. And all the girlies had them. I didn't know. My parents didn't shop in M&S. Oh really? No, we didn't either. But I remember when the lads brought them into school one day and he was like, try these, they taste like candy floss. And they did. Do they still have them? I don't know if they do.
It's probably some genetically modified, there's probably stricter legislation in place in there, realistically. Hopefully. But they tasted nice. We didn't have the little chocolate bars or anything. No packets of crisps. None of that. In your home or in your lunch? Both. Did you have like a treat drawer? We...
Sometimes we'd always get eaten because I had an older brother and it would just be like all the food was always gone. Do you know, if we got it on a Saturday, it'd be gone by the Monday. We wouldn't have treats. Like if there was coconut noodles, they'd be gone by the Monday. Really? No, that sort of thing. See, we were allowed to kind of go...
to the treat drawer as we pleased or to the biscuit tin. And then a few times I went to like some friends' houses after school and they'd be like, "Mummy, can we have a treat?" Well, they weren't British, obviously. And I remember being just like,
Just go and get a fucking bear from the fridge. Like, well, you're begging your mom for a treat like a fucking dog. Yeah. And I think it would actually work better for us because it meant those kids when it came to, you know, like the parties and there was like a big spread, they were the ones who went fucking manic because they were like, oh my God, we can have as much chocolate and crisps as we want. Yeah. Whereas because we were just...
like left to our own devices at home. When it came to the parties, yeah, I'd have a bit, but I wasn't going mad. You weren't like making yourself get sick. You know what I mean? I was having a chat with the mams anyway. I wasn't doing much eating, to be honest. I was having a cup of tea with the girls and fighting out the goss. That's what I was doing at those parties. Was there any good goss when you were younger? For some reason, I do think, because some of the mams did confide in me. From what age? From young. I remember one time being at...
I'm so conscious of naming names because I have a great memory. So like I will just throw out names. Yeah, yeah. And I like I've done a few times like in the past with the podcast and like the early days. And I regret it now because I'm like sometimes I go back to Cork like at Christmas or whatever. And the other way everyone goes down to the local at Christmas and I see them. I'm just like and like sweat starts to pool in my back. I'm like, oh, my God. And like not that I've ever said nasty things, but I just said things just to mention. They're probably like.
How the fuck did he remember that like from 20 years ago? I've also spoken about one or two crushes that I had. I haven't named names on the crushes, but I say some of the lads are probably maybe slightly aware of it. But there was a time when I was at a fella's house after school. I wasn't particularly close to him, but I remember a lot of the lads, they were like scrapping in the back garden. And I was like, would you come on and stop scrapping? Yeah.
I kind of broke it up and I was like, you know, I was like, I don't know. Say sorry. We'll say that's what I said. I don't know exactly what my words were, but I kind of sorted and we got back playing football or whatever. We're up to jumping on the trampoline. And then I remember the man like pulled me and she's like, she's like, are you a peacemaker? And I was like, well, she's like, you just handled that situation so well. And I was like, well, they were like, and I stopped the fight.
And then she was like, this is so crazy. She was like, do you want a drink? Now, it was also a hot day. Also, she wanted to pour me a vodka cold. But she was like, do you want a drink? And I had a drink. And I remember just, I don't exactly remember the details of what she was telling me. But I remember she was chatting to me like one of the girls. Now, also, that being said, when I arrived at the gaff, I remember complimenting her hair.
She knew. She knew. I think it was the thing that she knew. So I complimented her on her hair. I was like, oh, I said, did you get your hair done? And I'm not even joking, but I'd say she probably had a moment of, I remember actually this so distinctly where she kind of went, and I feel like she felt seen. Oh, because her husband probably didn't even notice. Because I said, like, do the husbands notice? No.
They don't. A lot of them don't. Or like, was it a thing where they were too embarrassed to say it? Sometimes I'm sure some husbands do or whatever. And they say, oh, geez, your hair looks lovely. But I'm wondering on this occasion, had anyone said it to her since she got the hair done? And I think she just took a bit of a shining to me. She knew I was gay realistically, right? She was probably just, that was the thing. That was my special, my special power, my superpower. I used to just,
Tell the mams they were gorgeous. Also, mams used to love me as well because if I was ever at a buddy's house and we were playing and we were in the playroom, instead of like causing havoc and tearing the place apart, I used to get such satisfaction from like tidying and organising. So I would leave the playroom like tidier than when I arrived. So mams used to fucking love it. Oh,
I used to literally be like, I stopped hanging around with one of my buddies growing up because I remember going to his gaff where he built this big Lego construction, right? And we spent ages like slaving over it. And then he was like, now let's bash it down. And he was like, got one of his fucking action men and was like, sorry for the sound effect. He started bashing it down and I was like, what are you doing?
I was like, we literally just finished it. Like leave it for a while at least. Also, like when he was bashing it, like things were flying everywhere and I just got no enjoyment from that. And I was like, I'm off. I was like, I'm gone. Right. Next thing I get a phone call to the family home, to their house phone, which, you know, it's so funny that I was thinking back in the day. And then my mom was like, oh, it's so-and-so's dad. Oh. And he was like, you have to come back up here and help.
so-and-so put away the lego and i was like no absolutely not what we had built a city we had built a masterpiece and your man's after destroying it and everything was flying everywhere it would have been an easy job to tidy it up if we just left it the way we had it probably blamed on you probably blamed it on me and i was like not hanging around with her anymore she's bad news she's trouble so yeah that's the type but i think that gives that all stem from you saying what was in your lunchbox
See, I told you. It's a great gateway question. I know. That should be the name of the pod. What was in your lunchbox? James Cavanaugh, though, will be coming for you because he did a series and it was What Did You Eat This Week? Fuck. But I think actually, because yours is more rooted in nostalgia and like childhood. Yeah. And it's every conversation coming from the lunchbox. It's the Pandora's box lunchbox, isn't it really? I know.
Oh my God. Yeah. What was in your lunchbox? Keelamoncree. And think of the, I'm just thinking of the branding. I'm one of the really cool old school lunchboxes. You know, the proper like plastic one. When I was a child, I used to collect those vintage lunchboxes, but specifically the tin ones. Tin were gorgeous. So anytime I went on holidays or to a different country, I'd always try to find like a quirky alternative tin lunchbox. And my dad went away. I have one in the shape of a guitar.
I have like an oldie sweet shop sort of one. Nice. I had one in the shape of an elephant, one that like turned into a makeup table. I was just obsessed. Oh my God, makeup table. I know. Did you bring it into school or was that purely for the purpose of collection? No, I didn't use them.
Didn't you say? No, it was more just to collect. Just to collect. Yeah. So you were always kind of quirky cool. Yeah. No, I wouldn't call that necessarily cool now. But it is because you were going against the grain. So I respect that. I think that's like, obviously at the time, probably didn't recognize it as such. But now if there was a kid collecting cool lunchboxes, you'd say, aren't they fucking brilliant matching to the beat of their own drum? Instead of just collecting nothing wrong with it, Polly Pockets. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or like road lipsticks. You know what I mean? Well, also those girls.
Their icon is now in there. Stanley cups. Yeah. Oh, stop it. What's going on? That's disturbing. How is that? That's, that's up there with the Starbucks. It's in the same vein, isn't it? It is exactly the same. What are you doing with just Stanley cups, girls? Why do you need more than three? Like in three packs? Why do you need one? Do you have one? Reusable. No, I don't have a Stanley now, but I have like reusable bottles. Yeah, of course. We all do. I like one for the handbag. It's 2024. We all have reusable bottles. Of course.
But why are people getting Stanleys? No, you know what? It's the accoutrement. Accoutrement. For the Stanleys. Yeah, the snack things. What's it called? All the added bits. The accessories. The accessories. It's more, I think, a status of wealth or like exclusivity to have a Stanley. Yeah, because they're what? They're 60 quid, is it or something? Yeah. There we can kiss the Stanley collab goodbye, but that's fine, isn't it? I'm content with that. Yeah. Yeah, who cares? Who gives a shit? Yeah, keep your Stanley cups, bitch.
Keep it. I don't even want to look at it. Smoked salmon. What a... No, that was weird. Oh, sorry. Smoked salmon. And then what else? Now, one of the girls in my class was allergic to nuts, but I would have been the type to bring in like a mix, a trail mix or like some nuts. I loved nuts when I was younger. No, miss me with the trail mix. No, thanks. Seeded crackers and like something to dip it in. So... What age are you? Now? Yeah. 26. Oh my God. Yeah.
Yeah, because I was like, we definitely, like, in my primary school, no one was going around with crackers and a dip. Or was it maybe a girls' school thingy? No, it was a mixed school. No, it was definitely against the grain. I will say that. It was against the grain. Okay, right. Yeah, just bringing in random shit, I will say. Just random shit that I found around the house. But was it for the purpose...
of shock or for people to go, look at what Keelan has in her lunchbox. Or was it just because you were like doing your own thing and a bit mad? No, I just loved stuff that was like vinegary and smelly. And I went through a phase of bringing in, do you know those Frankfurter sausages that you literally put in the microwave?
We can't talk about them. We can't talk about them. You didn't. No, it was not even just the frankfurters on their own. It was the hot dog bun cut down the middle with the heated up frankfurter with ketchup and mustard. And then I'd wrap it in tinfoil. So then by the time I came around to big lunch, it was obviously all like sweaty, shriveled up from like the heat and the moisture inside the tinfoil.
You're lucky you're not fucking radioactive after consuming that. And it was like every day for a while. Hot dogs. Hot dog. Hot dog. Hot dog. Hot dogs. Yeah. That is manic. I know. I was just saying the other day, I can't believe the people over here, right? Go to the cinema, right?
You go up and buy their tickets and then they're like, what do you want to eat? Or do you want popcorn? And they say, no, I'd love a hot dog. And they take a bit of pork that's been rotating for God knows how fucking long. I'd say minimum eight hours just in the background. And they just consume a hot dog on the premises. I'm actually like, you know what? People are playing with their lives. There's people being like, oh my God, you know what you're putting into your body, like getting vaccines and doing all this shit.
You're eating hot dogs from a cinema counter. Obviously, girls, look, I'm not judging anyone. If that's, you know, if you can't afford to go for your nice meal beforehand and it's a bit of sustenance for you, crack on. But if you're eating hot dogs from a cinema counter, look...
If you grow an extra limb or if you give birth to a child with a third ear, that's on you. Just know that you ate the hot dog. Do you know what I mean? No one forced you. Radioactive. Radioactive. Radioactive is the name of the app. Literally. What was your extracurricular activities as a kid? So when I was in first class, I...
Did I play in school? I went to an all boys primary school and secondary school. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. So it's so funny because people are like, what? That was such the norm back home. I remember when I was in secondary school, there was lads that I met who went to Clos de Colum, which was the mixed school. And I remember being like, what? And it was this like foreign territory. They weren't hippies, but they were all like...
They were just so much more mature, like mix the schools now, mix the schools. I know. Like there's no argument for having like separations. Like what was the argument? Was it like, oh, that the boys would be feral around the girls? I think it was something, yeah, something perverted. Something stupid like we're kids. Nobody cared and it just made people grow up more and it also meant that the gays like had more backing with the girlies. You know what I mean?
But we did a play when we were in first class and it was like a take on Aladdin. So did someone have to be the girl then? So I put my hand up. There's only one girl. I put my hand up to be Aladdin's mam. Right. But it was Aladdin's adopted mam. Okay. So no, Aladdin was an orphan or something like that. Basically, you know, when some of the teachers who I'd say,
were at the primary school teaching a while and then they were like, I'm not able to tap into my creative juices. Yeah. You know what I mean? And they're like, oh, they're stuck in the humdrum of like doing the same thing every day, teaching the same syllabus. And they're like, I'm going to write a play and I'm going to transform the school. Yes. You know what I mean? One of those teachers and transformed the school. She did. She definitely transformed me. Yeah. Shout out to Miss Spark. I think that was her name.
Maiden name. I think she then became Miss O'Callaghan. Anyway, Miss O'Callaghan, if you're out there, I hope you're doing well. Loved her. Yeah. Basically, I put my hand up for Aladdin's man. Aladdin's man only had a few lines. I was only in at the start. I remember one of the lines. Do you want to hear it? Okay.
So one of the lines I said was to my husband, I said, come along, darling. I think I need a new Rolls Royce. The one I have is at least a week old. Right. And I used to love it. I didn't even know what a Rolls Royce was. I still don't really. I'm not too into watches. And I was doing the play and we were rehearsing for it. The fellow who was picked as Aladdin, like it's a week before the show. The child still hasn't a glimmer of the lines.
Doesn't know what's going on. Meanwhile, I'm in the back when we're going around and when we're acting it out, mouthing everyone else's lines. This is something I still do. So mouthing everyone else's lines when it's coming in. I had a photographic memory growing up. So I was like, I knew the whole script. Anyway, like the teacher was like, he doesn't have a clue. So she was like, Jack,
will you be Aladdin's mam and Kevin will you be Aladdin I was like absolutely but I really wanted to play the mam at the same time I was like oh I just got so much enjoyment from it but I was also obviously weak to be playing the main part and then I did Aladdin and the parents came or whatever and afterwards I remember because I was with my mam when the teacher was saying it she was like get him into a drama class now yeah get him into a drama class like I can't believe he doesn't do drama and then
the rest sister i started doing drama after school um doing fish matches did you have them up in dublin no it's basically just like a competition where you get up on stage and you do your poems or you do your acting piece right and then i did oliver there was like this big casting call for kids to do oliver was coming to the opera house and it was also going to dublin
and they need the kids to be, you know, the workhouse kids. I went to the audition, ended up getting it, and there was like dancing in the show. It was kind of more choreographed movement as opposed to full-on dancing, but I'd never danced before. And I remember loving it, and all the other lads weren't as quick at picking it up as I was. So I was like, oh my God, I kind of knack for this. And then I was just like, get me into a dance class. I was also playing football at the time, which was a bit, I was giving it the best of both worlds.
It was a bit rogue, kind of Hannah Montana vibes. But I love playing soccer as well. I enjoy playing football. All my brothers did it. I grew up in the States and if you weren't playing football with the lads out in the park, what else were you doing? You know what I mean? It was either that or you'd be...
in by yourself, you know what I mean? We also played the game of curbs and swing ball course, right? Any kiss chasing or? Not really. Tip the can. We did a bit of tip the can. Okay. Manhunt. I didn't like roughhousing. I didn't like any form of like aggressive behavior. It was also around the time when like, you know, jackass was huge. And like, it was all young lads. Shitting everywhere. Jackass. And it was like, people just kind of, all the lads were watching jackass. I couldn't watch jackass. Hated watching it. And, um,
The lads used to like go on their bikes and like ram them into a curb or like just do things to like with the intent of like hurting themselves. You know what I mean? It sounds a bit crazy now, but you know, like wrestling or they'd be like, let's do jackass where we, where we like jump on the trampoline and then jump into the bush. And I would be like, no, cause you're going to get hurt.
So I hated all of that. But would you stick through it? No, I wouldn't. I would literally be like, I'm not doing that. So you'd just stand it out? I would just stand it out. I would just be like, I'm not doing this, girls. Would they slag you? They knew I was a bit particular. They knew that I was probably a bit sensitive. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or a bit delicate. Delicate. But I mean, I could get away with delicate. Delicate flower. Which isn't like a bit of...
Sorry, were you in something I saw in your story? Were you in the background of something on your bike? Oh my God, how embarrassing. What was that? Oh my God. So my mom messaged me the other night and she was like, pure mom text. She was like, channel four dispatches now. Right. And I goes, what is this? And she goes,
going on about all the phone robbings in Stratford, which is where I live. Right. She was like, be careful out there. If they try to take your phone, just give it to them. They have knives. Dot, dot, dot. Apparently.
I was like, all right, okay. And I threw it on, but I only watched it for a few minutes. So I only caught the tail end of it. But I had it up on my story, just a screenshot of my mom, like telling me that because she will always, there'll be like, now it so happens that it was in Stratford, but like if anything ever happens in London, I'll get a text from my mom and she'd be like stabbing West London.
You know what I mean? And I'm like, I, or I remember in the time, like there was like a bomb scare and she was like, stay away from London bridge. I was like, I'm not just going to go walk on London bridge. You know what I mean? She doesn't really get it. She just thinks as London, like it's huge. I don't think she understands the scale of it. Um, so anyway, I put up a screenshot in my story and then a fella messaged me and was like, he lives in London. He was like, I wanted to watch the documentary. And he goes,
I'm not even joking, because I am 100% sure that I saw you on your bike in it with their face blurred out. He took a screenshot. It was me in the documentary that my mom was watching, telling me to watch. But it's so weird. I think they positioned me like they blurred out my face and it's just a clip of me on my bike. And all these lads were stealing the phones around their bikes. I think I don't know. I think they might have been implying that I was robbing the phones, which I think is hilarious. I can be less of a thug.
But my mam then, I sent it to my mam then and she just went, oh my God, isn't that the funniest thing ever? It doesn't look like you though from the waist up. The only thing that was on the waist up was me wearing a jumper and a blurred out face. And I was like,
What were you expecting? Like, they're blurring out the fit. I don't know. I just thought it was very... I got a fierce kick out of it. Have you been in anything else after your extras career in being an Oliver? As in showboys or TV? What are we talking? Everything. Do you want me to bring up the spotlight page? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my previous work history. So I did. So basically, after Oliver, I got involved in doing shows in Cork. I joined a big stage school and was doing... No.
We'd put on a musical like every year. Yeah, that's so fun. My best memories were like from my youth are...
doing shows and the crack we used to have me and my friend Paul Drake like we both went to the same stage school he's gonna be my guest for my quirk show oh really yeah he was telling me this yeah and me and Paul Drake used to just have like unparalleled fun yeah it was so much fun and then because like we were the only two lads well there was another fella Pat as well but like there wasn't many lads like
we were lording it up. You know what I mean? We were just having the biggest ball. The girlies loved us. We loved the girlies. We like had the same sensibilities and like, it was where we kind of came into our own. I became so confident from going to like stage school. It really kind of brought out the best in me. You know what I mean? And like, just made me a confident person. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I, I honestly, it was like the best thing I ever did. I think the best thing for any children is,
Like get them into like drama classes or dance classes. Get boys into dance classes. You know what I mean? Sometimes like I even think about like,
like the anxieties that lads had when we first started going out or like you know you'll see some lads in the dance floor and not to say that i was ripping it up like fucking step up or whatever but it just meant that i'd even you know what aside from dancing yeah just for the posture element yeah you know what i mean get some lads just have such poor posture and like you know they don't like walking around the place like with their shoulders back because you know it looks a bit
I don't know. Feminine. Feminine, probably. You know what I mean? To have nice posture. No, nice posture is stunning. And also it will sort you out for the rest of your life. That's the thing I'm most grateful for is the posture. Yeah. So I was doing all that. And then like, like I went to UCC, but then I dropped out and I was like, I want to do performing over here. So I trained. That's why I moved to London. So I trained over here for three years. Amazing. As a dancer performer kind of thing. And then lockdown happened. I like, I graduated. I worked six months as a dancer on a cruise ship.
Yeah. Traveling around Asia and stuff. And then... Did you like that? I did. I liked elements of it. Yeah.
It's all a bit of a wild west. It's like you're in international waters and it's like it has its own legal system. Oh. As in like there's like ship law. It's not like actual real certified law. It's like there's like these rules and codes of conduct you have to abide by on the ship, which is a bit crazy. Is there anything? There's a hierarchy. Yeah. I nearly got kicked off at one point because our dance captain,
She was fucking mental. So basically I went in as a cover. Yeah. The cast who were on the ship, they had done a nine month contract. Right. They had been on this ship for nine months, but traveling around to different ports, you know, traveling all around Asia, we did, uh,
uh like the home port of shenzhen in china we went to japan like went to places like fukuoka miyakojima went down to south korea we did jju island went to vietnam it was gorgeous like the itinerary was stunning and it was part of the world i never really had any ambition to see at that age but i was like when i did i was like jesus christ i mean i saw wildly yeah you know what i mean yeah but anyway so i went on i replaced the dance captain was a guy who
like I was taking his spot, but obviously because I was just learning the shows, I wasn't being made dance captain. So dance captain is kind of the person who would oversee the shows. Like, um, once the choreographer has choreographed and set the shows, so they would be, so say if we had a gig and something went wrong or someone was injured, so they couldn't do, um,
a certain part of the routine they'd be the ones responsible for replacing them replacing them or like changing things around or changing formations or equally if someone wasn't like pulling their weight in a number or if they look like sloppy sometimes the dance captain might do a show watch or like they might just take notes and be like you know just tell somebody they need to kind of step it up essentially really um so they were working on the ship for nine months this girl had been made dance captain
the cast who were on board, like I was obviously buzzing because it was like my first contract after graduating, I was traveling to the other side of the world. They were almost, they were like just in the routine of doing the shows every night and they were just trying to make the most of their time when they weren't working. You know what I mean? That's half the joy of it really. Well, most of it is like,
like you're going to doing a ship contract, not for the shows. Cause the shows themselves are like, Aaron spectactles only so much you can do on a fucking ship. Um, they're doing it cause you get to travel the world and do all the other things. And like, you know, chill by the fucking pool and sunbathe. You know what I mean? So they were just looking to do their gig and get out. But when this person took over, they were essentially used as an opportunity to like,
Like do a load of things or like change parts of the show that she like wasn't happy with. And she's obviously like been biting her tongue or she, she basically was on a bit of a power trip. Okay. Everyone was allergic to her. Everyone was like raging. She was calling all these extra rehearsals that should have just been for me really. And like, obviously the rest of the cast would have been involved in some capacity because I was doing a lot of partner work on the,
on the ship. So a lot of lifts and things. Um, but she was calling all these extra rehearsals. She had us rehearsing for the Christmas show in October. And we hadn't even done the fucking Halloween gig. And I was like, Oh, I'm having to learn about, I'm not even kidding you. Like 40 new dance numbers. Oh my God. You have to do two, you have to learn two separate shows. Um,
You then had to, we were also like dancing at what's called Sail Away, which was like when the ship was coming out of port. So all the passengers have just gone on board, all the new passengers. They all come up to the top deck by the pool. We put on a show there. We did another show for the casino. We did another show on one of the party nights that just happened in the main foyer that wasn't even in the auditorium. All these had like five and six dance numbers as part of the set. So I remember at one point I was like,
because I was so overwhelmed as well because I was the only one who was like learning the choreography from scratch yeah and I just felt completely out of my depth as well because I had no one to compare myself to like I had no one to like say oh I'm struggling as well or Jesus Christ I can't remember that either so I was just like I'm not cut out for this and I remember being like I'm gonna have to throw myself off this fucking ship not all and not into the border oh
No, what I was going to do was, because in my contract, if I got injured, I still got paid. And that was my thing. Like I was piss poor. I just graduated. I was taking this contract. It's a great way of saving money as well, right? Because you're not paying for accommodation. You're not paying for food, your fate, whatever, for your breakfast, lunch and dinner. So I was doing it to save money so that I could move into like a nice apartment in London.
And I was like, if I get injured, I was like, I still get paid. I remember just being like, well, I just fucked myself down the stairs, which is awful. I wouldn't recommend anyone doing that. But I got on with it. But anyway, this dance captain was making my life a living hell. Everyone was fed up with her. But because everyone was getting fed up with her around the time that I had joined, I
she like thought it was me that was like causing this mutiny. You know what I mean? Oh, she like saw me as like the source of the issue. And I was like, no girl, you're the issue, darling. Like ask anyone, they'll tell you. But like,
One of the lads then had enough of her. So there was me, another male dancer, and then a specialized ballroom dancer who was male as well. He wasn't as good at just like regular choreography. He was very much just, he was an amazing ballroom dancer, but he found it harder to pick up like commercial or jazz or kind of musical theater style. So the other male dancer was like, couldn't hack her. And he was like, I'm done. I've done 10 months of whatever. He was like, I'm getting off.
Now, he was doing flips in the show as well. So he was like, my back, I'm done. But we all knew, like the cast, we all knew that he was... Had enough of her. So I'm just after finishing learning all these shows, learning all these dance numbers, and then he's gone. And she's like, we have to change the routines again, right? And I'm going, oh, my brain was ready to fucking explode. Like, the other routines weren't even sitting in my body just yet. I was like having to think about them so much. And I wasn't at a point of enjoying the shows yet. And then...
She wanted to do all these changes. And a lot of the things were myself and the other dancer like doing lifts, right? And I remember at one point she was like, right, we're still going to do this lift. And I was like, no, this is a two person lift. Like I was lifting you with, she was like, well, what else are we going to do here? She was like, I think you'll be able for it. And I was like, I'm letting you know right now.
Like, I'm not, I don't feel comfortable doing it. She was like, we'll give it a try. We tried in rehearsal. I was able to do it right. But I was like, when it comes to this point in the show, there's about four or five dance numbers that I've already done. I was like, I'm wrecked. Also the costume changes. And my cruise girlies, any of my girlies who've worked on a cruise, shout out to you girls because I've nothing but utmost respect for you. It's a tough craft and it's a tough gig. I was exhausted and I was like,
Just saying, you know, I don't feel comfortable. Comes to the show. Also, by the way, I want to remind people, we're performing on the sea. Oh my God. There's obviously listing happening. I didn't think of that. The ship's going like that when you're in the middle of a show and I'm having to lift someone above my fucking head. So cut to the show when we're training for the first time, I dropped the girl on her fucking back, right? Now, in my head, I was nearly like, it serves you fucking right, but I was also mortified, right? I dropped this girl mid-show and everyone's going, what the fuck? She went to fucking HR and...
and said that I dropped her on purpose to make a point. And I was like, oh, I got called to like HR on this fucking ship, my first contract out of college. And did anyone ever go to HR about her? We did. We all went after that day and in fairness to the rest of the cast, we all came together. This sounds bad, but... So if you get fired from a ship contract, you'll never work on a ship again. Like no one will hire you again because it will just be like, even if it's for another company, you know, because they'll be like, obviously...
You don't want that trouble when you're out in the water, like someone who has a history, right? So you'll never, so that's your career over. So, um, so you're very wary of that, I suppose. Wary of that as well. So we all went, but we still said, we were like, look, it can't go on like that. Like we don't want to ruin the girl's career or ruin her life, but she's ruining our lives. We're like, we're not in, we still aren't like,
Two months left of this contract, two or three months left. Yeah. And then I think they advised her to take leave or something like that. Like they got rid basically. Oh, okay. Something like that. So she got demoted. She got demoted. But this is crazy. But I, before I like met with HR, I found an email. We basically had this like clocking system. Yeah. That we had to go up to like a computer and just like sign in for all our shifts or like for the show. So they knew we were there. And I saw an email that she had just sent to my general manager saying,
Sorry, and I saw an email that the person who booked me for the gig back home that this dance captain was obviously reporting back to. So an email that she had sent to my general manager on the ship, basically like a list of like lies that like you wanted to like accuse me of. And I was just like, I remember I took a screenshot of it and I was like,
It was madness. It was so crazy. A head screenshot or a real screenshot? No, I took an actual screenshot on my phone. Sorry, I took a picture, not a screenshot. I literally took a photo of it and I was like... And it was tough as well because I'm away from family and the Wi-Fi on board is like... Shit, there's obviously time difference. Like...
I remember just being away from my family and being like, what the fuck? That's horrible. It was a crazy time. I'm still like really grateful I did the contract. I made like really good friends on it. It was a really good learning experience for me straight out of college. Yeah. And I also, I saved a shit ton of money. I didn't like when you're working on a ship.
Like I didn't have to pay tax on it because it was like... Oh yeah, you're not in a specific country. You're not in a specific country. And I was like, this is the dream. I saw a gorgeous part of the world. And I was like, when I was doing the shows, when we got into it, like I was loving life. You know what I mean? Was there any repercussions then with your manager back home? Were you able to redeem yourself and just be like, it wasn't true? No, because the fact that I wasn't consulted, the fact that there was an email sent to my manager without this person saying,
consulting me so this person was the person who booked me for the job like on the audition yeah I was like telling me how much they love me and stuff it was all for me and then they hadn't even consulted me before they went to my manager to say all this stuff it wasn't saying like the dance captain said this was saying I had a conversation with the dance captain Kevin is doing this Kevin is doing this and I was like oh my god lies lies lies lies and Maneli you lie like a rug oh my god so I was a bit hard done by and I was like I don't
I don't need it. And also like after that, I was like one ship contract was enough for me. You know what I mean? I was offered like other contracts afterwards and,
And like once you do one ship contract, if you finish it successfully or whatever, like you can, you kind of have your pick of ones, what you're going to, what ones you want to do again. You know what I mean? There's some people who will get a job on a ship and stay on them for the rest of their lives. The girlies were living the dream because all the girlies, you have these gorgeous dancers, right? These gorgeous, stunning, tall dancers who all end up, because you're on a ship, right? They all end up riding the ship.
captains of the ship. Not the captain necessarily, but like we'll say, you know, the lads in the shirts with their stripes. Yeah. So like instead of just having like a shared dancers cabin. Yeah. They're like shackled up with like
the fellas who are like top of the rank for these contracts they're not spending a penny they're having like room service to the rooms they travel the world a lot of them i know so many girls who've ended up marrying like a fella that they've met on a ship and they just travel the world and you can do uh what's called like couples contracts so you apply for all your contracts together and they just travel the world together so to change the subject now do you want to talk about your college experience
How was UCC? UCC? I loved UCC. Yeah. Loved it. People say that I love mentioning at any opportunity the fact that I went to UCC. Oh. See, I was a big brain box in school. Yeah, well, the photographic memory, I can imagine. Photographic memory and, like, completely suited me to the Irish education system. Like, I got 11 A's in the junior cert. They called me Kevin 11. Oh, my God. Got, like, 580 in the leaving. Now, I'm probably the only person who remembers their points in their leaving cert, right? Yeah.
But it was like a huge thing for me. Still, if someone was to like, at the end of my life, say, what was one of your biggest achievements? I would be like, the junior cert and the leaving cert. Because I was just so disciplined. I was like so set. I remember just being like, if I wanted to achieve something or learn something, I just had such discipline to be able to sit down and study for like three or four hours and be like, I know that. I don't know what it was about. It was so crazy. My brother hated it because he was doing his leaving cert at the same time I was doing my junior cert. And I was doing more studying than him.
And he was like, you're really fucking showing me up. You know what I mean? So went off to UCC to commerce for French. I would see... I liked...
loads of things every subject in school like I was really really into um I loved languages loved Irish love French loved business did accounting love sciences like I remember at one point I was panicking because my biology teacher who had kind of taken a shining to me the whole time he was a really really nice guy he actually had me back in the school like two years ago to give a talk
about like just kind of following a creative path. But I remember he pulled me aside and was like, what do you want to do when I was in fourth year or fifth year? I was like, I don't really know. I was like, I still like love so many things. Like there's about five things now that are all completely different from each other that I'd love to put down in my CAO. Yeah. And what were they? I don't really know.
It was like law, I was wanting to do business. At one point, I was playing with the idea of like doing medicine, like just loads of different things. Because I'm like, how are we meant to decide what we want to fucking do at the age of like 16 or 17? Because I think at that time, when you're filling out the sale, you are like thinking about things in context of it being your entire life. Yeah. Like, especially like, I remember with like Paul Drigg, right? So Paul Drigg decided in transition year that he was...
wanting to do primary school teaching. So he had his like, Hans said on that he was like getting grinds in like Irish, you know, because you had to get the like higher level, whatever. And I remember just being like,
In my head back then, even though it's obviously not the case now, it doesn't mean he has to be a teacher for the rest of his life. But I remember being like, how does he know that he wants to do that forever? And I found that scary, like thinking about doing something forever. I have a huge fear of permanency. Right. Yeah. Having had many long-term relationships in my life, haven't had any tattoos for the... Just because I'd be...
So traumatized about it being on my body forever. It's crazy. I don't know. Yeah, I know. And I never got to that part in therapy. I was unpacking so much other shit. And I was like, I remember when I finished up and I was like, I never spoke about my, my disdain for permanency. But anyway, so that teacher, that biology teacher sat me down and was like, what do you want to do? I was like, I don't know. I want to do this, this, this, this, this. He was like, you know,
There are people who might just decide that they want to be a bin man, but because they know what they want, they can like chase it and go for it. And they will be the best bin man ever. And they like just have their hands set on it.
And they'll do everything they can to succeed and to ensure that that's what they do. Yeah. And he was like, but you don't really have any direction. You don't know what you want to do. So he was like, that's worrying. And I remember being like, oh my God. I was like, that is worrying. That's so worrying. You're paralyzed by choice probably. Exactly. Especially if you had the brains. I feel like you have so many more options.
given to yourself that you don't know where to go as well as being interested. Absolutely. And like even one of the things I loved in school was like the variety. I was like, you know, if you got fed up of one thing, you're doing another thing. Yeah. You know what I mean?
And went to UCC. I ended up like putting commerce as French as my first choice because I think I was always like business inclined. I always had a business mind, right? Yeah. Loved doing jumble sales when I was younger. When it came to doing the mini company in transition, you best believe. Oh, I say you slayed. I was headed that mini company. We were doing like an advertising thing with local companies. Like loved just...
Knowing about business and accounting was probably my strongest subject. Like I just, I remember loving accounting because you could go into your accounting exam. This, oh my God, people are listening. They're probably like, why the fuck is this loser going on about leaving cert accounting? They're like, what am I even listening to? I love talking about school. Followers are dropping off. I'm telling you that much. But I remember being like, I went into my leaving cert accounting exam and
Knowing that everything, sorry, I came out of my leaving cert accounting exam knowing that I'd like basically gotten full marks because everything balanced. Oh yeah. So you can almost like check your, you almost know the right answer or like at least even if, you know, you had a wrong figure, but they balanced or whatever, at least you know that like you're
formula was kind of right you know what I mean and I remember just being like that for me was great because I was like this is fucking brilliant you know what I mean yeah yeah um you like that things add up and there's a formula for structure yeah structure oh my god honestly I'm on a semi I'm not even joking just thinking about it oh my god maybe I should go back and do accounting so I did that because I was like oh uh commerce is like a general business degree and there was like accounting modules like marketing modules and then I also did
with French. So I just loved, I love like going into like, you know, my French culture lessons and being like, oh my God, I'm a man of the world. And I remember like, you know, we did like French film studies and I remember doing like a movie we did, a study which was like La Comble Sienne. I remember just being like, I felt part of something huge. Yeah. And you know, like the,
the university experience that we probably saw on telly growing up yeah you know if you're watching sabrina you see her like um going to was she even going to college i don't know high school or whatever or like say by the bell one of these i remember being like this is this you know what i mean like i'm part of this big thing but then i was like i was because i was like so invested in my studies when i went to ucc like the dancing and the acting kind of took a bit of a back seat and i was like wasn't happy about and i was like oh so that's it so i was like
This is only first year. I was like, things are only going to get like, you know, busier, more hectic, like dancing, acting and all the rest of it probably just going to waste away to nothing. You know what I mean? And I was like, wasn't happy about that. I know people get involved in dramatic and I was involved in the dance society and things, but like I wasn't getting my fill. Yeah. So then I think I just having done the year then I became a bit more emboldened or just had a bit more courage to be like, this actually isn't what I want to do right now.
I can always come back to it. But I also, because I was like so good in school and because I was such a swat, I was like, if I tell my parents when I'm filling out the CAO form that I want to go to London and pursue a career in the arts, I was just like, I felt like I would have been throwing my life away. I felt like it didn't make sense. Yeah, wasting your points. Wasting my brains. Yeah. Even though like that doesn't make sense, but that's kind of what we were convinced of. You know what I mean? Because like a career in the arts isn't a worthwhile one. You know what I mean? Yeah.
And I'm, but then like after doing the UNCC, I was like, actually, fuck it. Yeah. Who cares? Like I can always go back to this. I can't decide at the age of 35 that I want to be a fucking dancer. You know what I mean? When my body's, you know, packing in, my knees are already fucking shagged and I'm 31. So I was like, let me go away. So just audition for schools then in London and.
Ended up going over the next year. Did you miss learning? Yeah. Or like, cause I'd say you get a buzz off exams. Yeah. And you know, academic validation. Yeah, absolutely. So I used to excel. There was certain, uh,
like modules or certain lessons when I went to like dance college, like musical theater things, we did one thing in second year, it's called a swing project. So basically a swing in a show, not sure if you know, but they're swingers. Yeah. Pineapple outside the gap, the pompous power, the pompous grass, but they, um, so they cover multiple roles. Okay. So basically instead of just being like an understudy, a swing would be typically paid more because
Because they're literally having to learn so many different tracks. Yes, okay, yeah. But if that comes to a show that's like a dance-based show where there's so many different formations, you might be learning different choreography for different sections. Like, it's a fucking mindfuck. So what you have is like a swing Bible, which is like basically a thing where you write down, a lot of the time it's color-coded, all your different tracks. So if you're like, if I'm covering this character or if I'm covering this part, it's this, this, this, this. Just so if you get a call the day of the show where like...
Stephen isn't in, you have to cover his part. You just open up your book and you can go through it and then you can get into the theater, I know two hours early and you can just go through all this stuff with like the rest of the cast. So we did that project in the second year and I remember everyone being allergic and up the walls and I was like, you know, traumatized as well, like at the workload of it. But I remember being like color coded fucking Bible. This is my fucking jam. You know what I mean?
And I was like, so any instance or any opportunity to really kind of flex those muscles, those like, you know, brain and thinking and logic and writing or whatever. I used to love. And I was pure like teacher's pet. And I'd be like, look at my Bible. You're my Bible teacher. Yeah.
And all this, the thing is, well, what I loved as well about like, um, going to like dance college, all the teachers, like the singing teachers and the dance teachers, they were all like camp men, camp funny men. Like, you know, like Louis Spence from Pineapple Dance Studios. Yeah. Like all of my teachers, like some of them are crazy, but all of my teachers were like
different variations of them or even like the female teachers I used to have such a laugh there was one of my teachers Annie and see basically because I was I had done my leaving cert I had done a year at uni there were some girls who were 16 going to dance college so I had girls in my year when I was 21 yeah who were 16 there was other people my age as well are like you know 19 20 and stuff and
I wasn't the oldest, but like I was one of the oldest. So that meant that I like a better rapport with my teachers. They kind of respected me more or like just knew that I kind of got it more. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'd like such like a good laugh with some of the teachers. Also, it's probably the Irish thing as well. Right. But like I remember one of my teachers, Annie, like she took such a shining to me and we used to just I squint to our lessons and just have the biggest laugh. And like any time she opened her mouth, I was just like this.
You know what I mean? I felt like I was part of a sitcom. I felt like I was part of a mockumentary type thing because some of the shit that happens within the walls of dance colleges itself is just fucking mayhem. I remember one of our first acting lessons with this particular teacher, right? We went into a room. Chairs all lined up like so, like two and two, like in rows. We all had to sit down and for like 20 minutes we had to pretend that we were on a plane and that it was being hijacked. And I remember...
Just being like, coming out of there and being like, what am I doing? Like, what is this? What is my life like? What am I like? Last year I was, you know, studying the fucking life cycle of a fucking sticky note in one of my management modules in UCC. And now I'm trying to escape from this room, pretend that there's a terrorist attack on this fucking flight, but we're just sitting on a fold, fold up chair. It was all what I did. I had three years of my life.
At dance college. The best three. The friends I've made. I'm still like best buddies with them now. We. I used to laugh every day. I was so scared when I moved over. Right. In my first week. I remember being like. I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm throwing my life away. I was such a home bird as well. I had such good buddies back in Cork. I was so close to my family. My mom. My mom came over with me on the first day. When I moved over. She flew in with me that morning. Flew back that night. And I remember. I remember.
I walked with her to the coach station for her to go back to the airport and she handed me a letter. And I remember just being like, I can't read this now because it's going to break me. I was like, and I'll be getting on that bus with you.
And she was like, you're right. And she took the letter and she was like, I'll give it to you when you're a bit more settled in. I remember going back to the gaff that I was staying at the time and I just had this sinking feeling in my stomach being like, what the fuck? And I literally just moved over the day before I was like due to start. Like we had our induction week, our freshers week. I remember being like, what am I doing? And by that Friday, I remember just being like, you've made the right decision. Like it was just so... That soon? That was just so much...
fucking fun and then I was kind of like even if I don't ever work in the arts afterwards if I never get a job as like a fucking dancer I never work on the West End I remember just being like it's fucking worth it because I'm just was having like a great standard of training I was doing like I was getting up every day to like dance which is something like that I loved and act and like be creative which is something that I like really didn't have when I was in UCC it was all like you know go to the library and learn fucking text and whatever and I remember just being like this is it like this is
like it's fucking fun you know what i mean it's obviously mayhem you get some fucking freaks there and some people that are like i was allergic to and i was like they need to leave you know because you have so much big personalities and some people who are just like tapped and like you know so many narcissists and stuff i could probably be categorized in that bracket as well but like people that you were just like you're not real life they're like the fact that they're not making a series they were actually meant at the time i think they'd
they were meant to do something with our college. Yeah. They're meant to do like a, because it was based in Essex. So you had like Towie at the time, which was like doing great numbers back in 2014. I don't know what way it's doing now, but, um, you, basically they wanted to come in and do like a, uh,
series like a reality series about this like dance college i would love that and it but i would i would be eating it up it was like a real life fucking glee almost you know what i mean it was that kind of buzz or like i don't know if you watch britannia high growing up or anything like that like or fame or whatever it was literally that it was literally that it was so funny high school fuck but like it was literally that i'm not even joking it was it was so much fucking fun
