Love & Immigration Offices ft. Shannon Ford 55:16

It's Sophia Franklin. You are listening to Sophia with an F and the F is for phenomenal. This podcast is rated F.

Thank God I had a couple people message me be like, hey, hey, hey, like I know you don't have kids, but like your nipples will change when you have kids. Great. Oh my God. Mine will probably get bigger. Which I'm really excited for mine getting darker. They're like, it was like a darker. I'm like, yeah. Oh my God. Okay. So we just need to get pregnant. Let's just get knocked up. Then we're ready to fucking run.

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Do you get posting anxiety or no? I know posting at 5 a.m. on a Tuesday is not going to be spectacular, but I really just don't follow those rules. And I think when you actually just like post as if it's like you're like, not diary, but like, you know, people are following you. But if you just really just post for like yourself, it can just be like fun. That's what I'm saying.

And not looking at my DMs as much. I used to like obsessively look at my DMs because I love to like interact with people. But then like the people got mean. And so then I was like, wait, I like have to dial this back a little bit. Wait, give me the ratio in your DMs because I'm just curious between like nice, happy ones and like rude. Like dead ass. I'm not kidding.

98% nice. Okay, great. We're just flawed human beings who see the negative and it overpowers. And then that's what jumps out. Yeah, like 15 people could be like, love the top, love the skirt. One person's like, you're such a fucking bridge troll. And I'm like, wait, wait.

Why am I a rich troll? But also. Like that's just who we are as humans. Yeah. I think because of like stuff I've done in the past, like I've like collabed with Nelk. I obviously used to work at Barstool. Like, so I have a bunch of rude ass dudes. Yeah. You're, you know, I'm friends with Alex Bennett and she like, they have that, um, that, that, uh, what? The stool.

that is your demographic. The demographic is the world's looking for. You have just like a tough demographic. Do you know what I mean? Like anytime the white males are involved, like got to kill them. Like, we're just like, I'm just not, I don't, I'm not interested in anything. A white male has to say to me. And that's the worst. Like speaking of white males, like,

No, no. I sound like I said whales. I'm like, speaking of whales. Who could be too sure? White males. You are not married. You're engaged. Right. To a non-American. American.

Male. But just, I'm pretty sure. Oh, we're going to get in so much trouble. I need to be politically correct right now. I'm pretty sure. He's from Spain, right? No, we met in Spain. He's English, which I'm pretty sure makes him like extra white. Okay, so like. He's the whitest. Like, he's the whitest bitch on the planet. I'm pretty sure I somehow digressed and I like, I ended up

finding a whiter white man. But you know, it's not my fault because when I met him in Spain, he's so fucking tan. He's like everything like, you know what? And this is because I have a healthy relationship with my father. He looks so much like my dad. My dad is like a quarter Native American. He's like the tannest, like in the dead of winter, like the tannest

He's got that olive. It's like reddish undertones. Like he's just stays looking like bronzed and sunburned and he's got like dark hair and dark eyes. So your dad's hot as shit. My daddy's a very good looking tan man. I just think any man that's tan is good looking. I just like love that. And I have a good relationship with my dad. And they say when you do have a good relationship with your father, sometimes you like look for your father. Which is great. Yeah, it's great. But like when I met James, to my credit, we were in Barcelona. He was tan as fuck.

and dark hair and light eyes. And I was like, I'm literally about to rail the Spanish guy. Like I literally came there to like have a one night stand with this. I didn't go there to have a bucket list check. But I was like, you know what? I had this guy had like ghosted me and like hockey players, like fucking always. But I was like, I'm going to go out of the country with my girls on a girl's trap. And then I met this guy and I was like, perfect. I'm going to like hang out with and make out with this like Spanish guy. And then he was like, hello. And I was like,

You don't have crooked yellow teeth. Where are you from? Like, why are you... Why are you speaking in an accent and the wrong accent? We're in Spain. He's British. Like, hola. He's like, no, bitch. I'm fucking British. So, yeah. I do believe that I am engaged to be married to, like, the whitest of white people, which is an English man. Take me to the beginning. So, you met him in Barcelona. He's not from Spain. He's not from Spain. He was also just on a guy's trip. So, it was, like, really cute and serendipitous. And, like, I feel like...

obviously meet everyone I was on like the apps like I was doing the Raya thing it was like absolutely astronomically failing in every aspect and I kept meeting guys named Matt on Raya like and it was like something about a Matt it was like the third one and my my friend was like hey like I'm not trying to be woo-woo here but like there's no way like you're meant to meet like a third guy named Matt on

Raya. Like there, like, there's no way this is your story. There's just no way. And I was like, but what if it's just a common name? And she's like, I just feel like it's kind of like the universe being like, get off Raya. Like the mats aren't working. And I was like, yeah, perhaps. Stop. This is no shade to anyone that like meets on the apps. I know they work and everything, but there is something really special about it is meeting someone in person and just having that connection, like that,

I hate to say the old fashioned way, but like, yeah, like the old fashioned way. It's like serendipitous and it makes it, uh, it's more romantic and it feels more like fate, which I don't really believe in fate, but like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Which was also in the same respect, like it was kind of like confusing at first because we, we had this like really just immediate, like head over heels. Like we were in love. And then I was like, we were always traveling together and doing all this stuff. I'm skipping a bunch of stuff. So I'll go back to how we met. But like,

I really was like, wait, I'm doing that thing where we're like on the bachelor and like everyone falls in love when they're like in Cape town with like this hot guy. Like, of course you're like, I love my life. Like let's get to the real shit when you're like sitting at your house board on the couch in Tennessee. Like then do you guys get along? Like then is it fun? Um,

So, yeah, it is – meeting in person is great, but you kind of do, like, everything just seems so romantic and, like, fantasy. Yeah, when you're abroad – like, when you're abroad and you meet one dude that you're slightly attracted to and he's – Yeah. It's like you are – we're in love. It's like seeing a guy that's the same age-ish as you at the airport. Like, all of a sudden, he's the hottest guy that ever existed. Like, if you're sitting at my gate and you're, like, kind of the same age as me, I'm like, wait, are we in love or what? Like, just be honest. Like, you're obsessed with me. Wait, that is –

You know what I mean? And Bennett, when you guys get on the flight and if he happens... And if it's a long flight... 100%. Like, you're just sitting on the flight, like, just thinking about, like, your future together with this guy. Yeah. I'm all of a sudden, like, I don't know what's going on with him, but he is thinking about his future with me, so I should start doing the same. Like, this was meant to be type shit. Yeah. It's really weird. Like, airports do really weird things to you, but I like them a lot. Okay, so, yeah, we were in Barcelona. It's really cute. We, like, passed each other on the street and...

He was really hot and I was with a girlfriend and he was with a guy friend and we, he and I just like made eye contact, but that like eye contact where you're like, Oh, like really, but we were across the street from each other. And like, as much as I want to be like romantic and whatever, it's 2022 at the time. Like, you're not like, you're not stopping someone in the street being like you over there. It was broad daylight. Do you know what I mean? It was like, it was during the day. Like I wasn't going to be like, Hey, were you like at lunch or were you just walking? We were just walking the street. We were going to, um, like,

It wasn't afternoon. It was dinner time-ish. It was pre-dinner. We were walking to drinks before dinner. I don't know where he was going, but we were just walking and we didn't stop each other. He and I made this intense eye contact and I said to my girlfriend, I was like, oh my God, that Spanish guy was so hot. She was literally 23. I was like,

really you think they're young she's like yeah I think they're young like you're like so I was like but he's so hot like oh god he's Shannon the rules are different here no and she was like Shannon everyone here because she was there a couple days before me she was like everyone here is hot the janitors are hot the fucking wait staff is hot like true everyone in Spain is hot like just like keep looking because I had just landed like I mean he was maybe even the first male I saw I was like a newborn chick that's like the first person I saw was like it's

It was that airport. It was that airport. I was still in it. And then, yeah, so we just like didn't say anything to each other and we just kept on his way. He was across the street. I left. He left. And Barcelona is kind of set up like New York in the way that it's a grid. Like there's a lot of tiny streets. There's a lot of areas. There's a lot of boroughs and neighborhoods. And if you're from Barcelona and you're like, that's literally not true. You could be right. I haven't done a lot of research on it. You know, my dad is from Spain. He lives there. We don't really have a relationship, but I can still flex.

You know what I mean? You should absolutely flex that. I could get my citizenship. Yeah, you could be dual citizen. Thank you. You should. The immigration system is a doozy. You should get in where you fit in, dude. Like it's proving to be very difficult. Um,

Yeah. So we basically didn't say a word to each other. And then we, the reason I brought up like the way that Barcelona is set up is that there's just, there's so many streets, like tiny streets, side streets, whatever. We weren't in this like main center court area when we saw each other the first time or the second time. But like five hours later, my girlfriend and I had gone to dinner. We had gone to drinks. We tried to go clubbing, but it was a Tuesday. We're like, okay, time of death. Like, let's call it, like, let's go back to the hotel. So at that point we had taken cabs.

and we had like gone all over the city in different directions and ways. And when we decided to go back to the hotel, we were walking down this like random side street, a small side street. And I saw like in the glow of like a Bottega, like light, like a gas station light kind of vibes. I was like, oh.

there he is. But at that point, because we've made such intense eye contact the first time and because both of us, I think we're like, how the fuck did we just see them again on this tiny little side street? He like looked at me and I looked at him and I was like, what do I do? And my friend's like, wave. And I was like, smile. And she's like, wave and smile. And I was like, wait, shut up. Wait, your friend said wave and smile? No, no, we were both just like, uh,

My friend is so much cooler than me. Like Marissa, if you're listening to this, like she just is cool. Like she exudes cool. She is cool. She walks cool. She acts cool. She told you to be chill. And you took that as smile and wave. Smile and wave, boys. She like tells me, like I walk really fast. And she's like, Shannon, like you always walk like you're extremely late to like work or doctor's appointment. Like she's like, it's okay to walk like this.

Yeah. Just walk normal. And I was like, she just exudes like sexy, cool girl. And I'm just like, always like, like doing something on a minute. I don't know. And so either way we did end up speaking to each other. He was like, Oh, we've seen you guys earlier. And I was like, Oh my God, where are y'all from?

He's like, y'all, you guys actually say y'all. And I was like, yeah, I'm from Nashville. Okay. So he was there just visiting. He lived in London. Born and raised in London. So like, think of London is like this. It's like going to Spain or going to Italy. It's like them going to Florida. Do you know what I mean? It's like a two hour flight. Totally. Totally. He was just there for a week to like get a, get a, like a trip away, like a boy's trip. So it's,

It was, yeah, he was there, but it was his first day in Barcelona too. So anyways, we ended up spending like the next, well, we had a one night stand. We slept together and it was incredible. I love that. So you guys hooked up that night? That night, yeah. Well, we had like, obviously we hung out for like hours and hours and then it was just like very apparent. Well, maybe it wasn't very apparent, but I was like, I'm going home with you. So we ended up sleeping together and I just thought like, oh my God, what a fun, like

like Barcelona moment. And then the next day I told Marissa, cause it really was like, I feel like one night stands are just like, they're what they're for. They're there to have that for me personally. Like I want attention. I want to feel pretty. I want to feel wanted. And it's fun. And I want to like live out the scene in the movie that I'm in. Cause I'm in Barcelona. I don't, I didn't need anything from the one night stand, but the one night stand. Right. But

this one night stand, obviously like we got to know each other briefly for like a few hours before, but like, I don't know, like we really connected and I'm not that much of a romantic where I'm like, we really connected. Like I'm not that girl. Are you talking about like during sex? No, like during, before, like before sex when we were just talking like one-on-one for like a couple hours. Was the sex good?

So that was it. Like the sex was really incredible. I was like, like, I'm here to say this is no shade to anyone that I've had a one night stand with in the past, but like, that's not what one night stands are for. For me, they're not for incredible sex. They're for the moment. Like they're for like, yes, the moment for the moment. I just like want to feel wanted and I want to feel like fantastic.

fun and sexy. And maybe you're somewhere like, I'm not having a one night stand to have like mind blowing sex. Like that just usually doesn't happen. Right. And he and I just had this like incredible, like sexual chemistry. And like, I remember like I came and I was like, well, I was off. Did you have like an actual orgasm? And I remember that's rare missionary had an orgasm. And I remember telling Marissa, I was like, Marissa, like,

um, I literally came and she's like, no. And I'm like, there's no way. No. And I remember thinking like, like every one night stand, like I'm not a faker. Like when I'm in a relationship, like never, you've never, like, I just don't really like once I'm in a real, a committed relationship, like I'm not really in the game of faking it. Like I'm happy to just have like communicative sexual conversations with my partner. But usually if it's a one night stand, which like, I'm not saying I have them every weekend, but like

in those situations, like you want, I want to feel sexy. You want to feel sexy. Sure. I'll fake it. Like, of course I will. Like everyone wants to leave here feeling okay. Like this scene of the fucking movie. We both have crazy orgasms. Yeah. Everyone wants to leave here feeling good about themselves. And I'm here to make sure you do. I'd like you to make sure that I do. So I'm not super focused. I'm not hyper-focused on actually coming during a one night stand. That's so true. In fact, I think you're focused on quite the opposite. You're like, you're,

you're a little bit performing. I'm performing real. I'm like, I was like, see, I'm in a movie. I'm this, like I'm literally on set. Like I'm on set. I'm in Barcelona. Like I'm going to like fucking, you know, back it up on his day. 100%. And so I remember we just had this like incredible sex that I like came and we were like in missionary position. I was like, you're like, am I in love with you?

Like literally I'm on The Bachelor and all of a sudden I'm in love. So anyways, I just remember having that moment, but also being so like, I'm such a realist and I was just like, I'll literally never see him again. So it's fine. But the next day I was like, look, I have nothing to lose. And I actually don't care if he never talks to me again. I'm going to like, I was telling her, my friend Marissa, I was like, I want to text him again and just be like, I'd love to see you again. Cause like, I would love to have that happen again. Can you walk me through like the next day? Did he sleep over? I'm assuming. So,

we, or you kicked him out right after. No, we had a suite. So that's a lot of people. Whenever I told this story, my podcast, they were like, wait, I'm confused. Like you were staying with Marissa. Right. Like honestly, the people at the hotel were probably like, what threesome is about to happen? Like what's going on here. But we were in a suite that had two floors. Like, don't ask me. I like blew all my credit card points on this suite for me and Marissa. Um,

credit card points so it was free so it was free money so it worked out great because that was the only time on the whole trip that we had like a suite like that but it did it had an upstairs and a downstairs and the bedroom was upstairs but the downstairs was like a pull out couch a living room like fully separated and when it was very obvious that me and this guy were like into each other Marissa was like I want to go upstairs yeah yeah yeah you got the downstairs and I was like you good she's like

I'm good. So like she went upstairs. Yeah. She's like, girl, you good. So he kept saying like right after we hooked up, like you can go to sleep upstairs if you want. And I was like, no, that's okay. I'll stay here. And then he said it twice. And for me, I was like, okay, I'm not

begging this motherfucker to sleep on the couch with him so like if he want now that we're like obviously like so together I've asked him about every detail about it he's like I just didn't think you'd want I was trying to be nice I didn't think you'd want to sleep on the couch and I knew you had a bed upstairs so I figured you'd want to do that and so I was like true so after he said it the second time like you really don't have to stay down here with me I was like okay so I'm gonna come beg

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So I was like, all right. So I did go upstairs and like fall asleep. The whole funny is that you're like, I'm not going to beg. But like in reality, he like wanted you desperately to like stay down there with him. But like you kind of took it as like. Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know if he desperately wanted me to. But he was just like, I.

I really was like, you should like enjoy your sleep and I should just sleep here. It's like four, like by the time I went to sleep, cause we had sex a couple of times, like by the time I went to sleep, it was like three in the morning. So he really probably was like, let me sleep as much as I can. And you go to sleep. So I went upstairs and I remember being woken up at like five in the morning to like this, like bar. So like we were on the streets outside. It was like, but like,

But like for like not New York sounds like it went on for so fucking long. And later on I found out that he was – because I woke up and he was gone and he was like the sirens literally like I was like I'm up. Like I'll just go. Did you have a moment when you woke up and he wasn't there? Like did you think like, oh, okay. No, no. I was like think fuck. And you were like – Okay. Yeah, which is like that's just very – I like that.

I'm the same way, by the way. I would have been like, thank God. He and I have been seeing each other for a while. And I look up and he was gone. I'd be like, okay, rude. But like, I didn't even have his phone number. Like I didn't have, I think we had told each other each other's last names and he found me on Instagram and was like, he sent me a message on Instagram that was like, Hey, I think I have a screenshot somewhere. It was like, Hey, sorry. I left early. There was like, when he said it, I was like, yeah, the sirens were fucking crazy. He's like, there's a sound. You're

Like, yeah. Yeah. They woke me up too. But yeah, he was like, I just got back to my hotel. But he was like, here's my number, something, something, something. He said, like, thanks for hospitality. He said something long and cute, which was sweet. And then, yeah, I got his number. He was like, text me. Like, I'd love to grab your number from you. So I texted him. And then he didn't say a word. Like, he didn't text me. And I was like, oh.

I was like, oh, okay. I can play this game. I was like, I don't care. But like, I kind of care. And then I also like wasn't trying to make the girls trip all about like this. So I was just like, oh, so we were like laying at the pool the next day. And also my friend Marissa was, she originally planned to go on that trip as a solo trip. So if you're listening to this podcast and you're like, you're the worst friend ever. Like I decided to come on this trip because I got ghosted by a hockey player like two weeks before. It was always going to be a solo trip. So she had a lot of things planned. And so I didn't...

She was like, live your truth, queen. Go, go. She's like the best wing woman ever. And that's the best way to travel too. You guys can do your own thing if you want. She's meeting cute boys. I'm meeting cute... No one was left alone, okay? So we... Yeah, I didn't hear from him for hours and hours and hours. And I was like, whatever, fuck him. I didn't feel that strongly about it, but I was just like, rude. Then I get this fucking message like five hours later. And he's like, oh my God, like...

Americans use iMessage. He's like, we don't use iMessage. He's like, I... Oh, he hit you on WhatsApp. No, no. He had given me his number. So I iMessaged him and he didn't see it. So like Europeans that are our age, now that we're like together, his sister, he has a sister that's 10 years younger than him and she says that her age group uses iMessage and like, oh, I hate that she calls me older generation. No, but like...

Like millennials and like boomers, like they use WhatsApp in Europe, but like the younger generation use iMessage. But James doesn't use iMessage. Okay. He didn't even check it. Like all they get is like your bank messaging you, your dentist telling you you have an appointment. Like they don't look at it.

At iMessage. They live on WhatsApp. Yeah. So he was like, I thought it was weird that you hadn't messaged me. And then I just happened to open my iMessage and saw that you messaged me there. And so I was like, oh, like a party. He was like, oh my God. Right. I thought you were ignoring me. So anyways, he was like, I'd love to see you again tonight. So then did you guys continue talking? Because I've been in this situation where I actually had a dude who like I, we were like texting and then he was like, I'm actually going to like WhatsApp you. And then I didn't hear from him for like a really long time.

And then he went back to iMessage. And I'm like, can we just pick a fucking lane? No, we got, yeah, we got to pick a platform. Like it's, but I get the WhatsApp, but still. The WhatsApp, like now James and I just iMessage because he lives in America, obviously. But like, yeah, WhatsApp was like, and he was like, I forget, you know, and I was offended. I was like, I have WhatsApp. I didn't have WhatsApp. I like downloaded it. I was like, I have WhatsApp. Like totally. I'm cultured. I'm cultured. I go like abroad and shit. I've like needed drugs in another country. I have WhatsApp.

Like, are you kidding me? I've totally downloaded this app before and just talked to bathroom attendants that are giving me drugs. Um, but yeah, so we ended up seeing each other the next day. And that was when we, he asked to take me on a date that night. He's like, I'd like to go on a date. Like he took me to the Soho house in Barcelona. We like were locked in. Like they were like stacking chairs. Like you guys have to leave.

And then we had amazing sex again. And then like we were just like inseparable for the next three days that we were in Barcelona. Okay. And he's an influencer as well? Or is that not? He's a coach. So he has like an online. Personal training. Right? It's all online. So he has like a platform that he does online training like online. He doesn't train anyone in person. My personal trainer who transformed my body, by the way.

Like my butt used to be... I mean, he's got an incredible body. Thank you. My butt used to be to the ground. Oh my God. It was like a diaper with like... Wait. That had poop in it. I have... And now it's up here. I have to speak to him. Like James...

I can't ask him for advice because I'm just like, no one wants to ask her significant other to like help my diaper poop ass. But like, I'm always like, I've got to figure this out. I feel like that's what I would make my boyfriend. I would make my boyfriend. He writes all my programs, but I just like hate leg day. And that's my problem. But like the way that people have been telling me since I was in like middle school to high school to now, and they're like, it's been a long ass day. And I'm like, I listen, I know. Yeah.

But like, if you're saying that to me, I know. I fucking know. But also my trainer, it's all online. Like we just, we just, uh, zoom. Oh, that's nice. And then that's how I train. He just creates programs for people on like his app. So he has like an app and like a whole community. It's incredible. Yeah. So he, anyways, yeah.

So how long after when you met him and then you guys are now engaged? Yeah, we just, we never stopped talking. Like when we left, I was like, Oh my God, like I'm going to be thinking about this guy for the rest of my life. Like I'm gonna be married with three kids in South Carolina, but I'm just always going to think about this fucking British guy. And

And then I was like, whatever. I was fine with it. Like I made peace with it, you know? And then the last day of like the vacation, he was like, so I just like want you to know that I don't think this is like a like holiday fling. And I was like, what? And he's like, this is like, you feel that, right? Like this is obviously more than just like a fling. I'm like getting butterflies on your behalf. Really? Like I was like, I would have never said that because I'm a girl and I'm like scared of being burned.

But I was like, really? I thought I would have been fucking creepy and crazy. But you said it and it's beautiful. You're like, really? That's crazy. You said it really felt. And I'm like, adorable. I said it. So, yeah, no, we just we never stopped talking. We did long distance for like a year. I went to London like two weeks later. I met his family. She's like, this is weird. But like, I want you to be my mom and dad. I was like, this is crazy. But like, I flew to London for you. So sure. Like, I'd never been to London before. Flew there, stayed with them. Was like having kind of a panic attack in the airport. I was like, wait.

this is like really crazy. Like I met him on holiday, like on holiday, on vacation. And like, Oh, you can say on holiday, baby, you're European. I met him on holiday and I'm going to like go to his like house in London that I've really kind of only seen in the background on FaceTime. Like, what does he have? Like fucking Navy sheets, one pillowcase. Why do I imagine a house in London to be this?

same no I'm like what is going on here but his flat was like so pristine so nice so like he has like his whole life together I did get the ick when I found out he was the same age as me I was like like I was gonna okay I only date guys older than me and like he I was like you're the you're the youngest guy I've ever dated but also European young is already older than American yeah oh yeah and he like went to boarding school when he was like 12 so you know he's been all on his own he's 40 yeah he's 47 so he's fine he's like dog years you know what I mean right but I

Yeah, I was like, you're the youngest guy I've ever dated. And he was like, you're the oldest girl I've ever dated. And I was like, we're breaking up. You're like, we're over. That's great. We actually just broke up right now, so... Never mind. You're not the love of my life. But he was obviously so fucking obsessed with you. He was, which was really beautiful. He blew you in to meet his parents. So then after the London trip...

Then you guys have a conversation. And now he lives with you. Yeah, we just did long distance for like about a year. It was very like we never talked to anyone else after that. Like, oh, the poor hockey player like FaceTimed me so much. And I was like, I couldn't care less about you now. Go play hockey. Go with the puck. Whatever you do. Go do the puck thing. Honestly, from that point forward, we were together ever since. And then a year and a half in, we were like, well, let's pick a place. I was like, my vote's on America. Yeah.

He was like, my old son, America. I was like, perfect. So yeah, he moved to Tennessee. We bought a house together and here we are. And the rest is history. Almost. But now you are planning the wedding. We're getting married really soon, which is exciting and stressful, but like really exciting. How stressful is it? I need to know. I'm planning it. So like I'm deranged. Is he involved or are you kind of like, can you just like, can you just sit there and look pretty with your accent? I got this. That's what I want.

like, I want it to be known that like, I'm not mad that he's not involved. I just like kind of need, he actually will be like, I'd like to help with that. And I'm like, well, no. So like, I'm going to do it. And then like, it's so funny because I'm such a female. I'll be like, and you haven't been helping with anything. And he's like, I tried. I,

I am literally begging you to include me in this. And I'm like, get the fuck out of the room. You're not on the call. Like, he'll be on a call. And I'm like, obviously don't like listen to anything he's saying. So you're like, I love like all your thoughts and ideas. Can you write them down? And I swear I'll look at them later. Like, you know, I just don't. I don't think they really need to be involved unless they just so happen to have this crazy creative eye. I'm telling you, he like.

I need to be better about it because he'll be like, I quite think blue flowers would be nice. And I'm like, well, I quite think that's fucking stupid. Don't look at him. I'm like, we're doing obviously not that. What about budgeting? Like, is it like this stereotypical, like you're like, babe, but we need the flowers. And he's like, what the fuck? Something really exciting about Europeans is they don't have that same tradition that we have. They don't have the

like, you know how in America, like females pay, like, sorry, the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinners. I just found that out by the way. So like when we were like first talking, you weren't even engaged yet, but we were like talking about weddings and stuff like that. And I was like, yeah, I was like, well, I'm like from very humble beginning. So I'm like, we'll probably just pay for the whole wedding ourselves. Like I don't want to put any sort of pressure on my parents.

And he was like, well, obviously, like, you know, my parents will... Wait, also, I'm listening to you right now, and I'm like, that's kind of a crazy-ass thing. It is a crazy tradition. Brides' parents are supposed to pay? What? I don't remember how the conversation got brought up, but I was like, obviously, like, I know it's tradition that the bride's, like, family pays for the wedding. And he was like, what? And I was like...

what? And he was like, you're like, actually, yeah. What? And he was like the bride's family. And I was like, who said that? Did they do that? And I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about. So no idea. So like, like his family has been extremely helpful, um, with our wedding budget, which is so, so kind. Like I honestly, we're having a small wedding. Like we only have 50 people coming, which that actually still sounds kind of big, but like teeny tiny. But that's how I think I,

My wedding to my imaginary guy that I'm going to me and he's going to propose to me. Hi, and welcome to IKEA. How can I help? My schedule is crazy. I just want some me time. Maybe it's time to embrace the joy of staying in. With comfortable beds, pillow and decor, mood lighting, and so much more, you can turn your bedroom into the place to be. Oh, sounds like a dream. We've got you.

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So you guys are going to get married in Italy. Yeah, we're getting married in Italy. What part? Positano. Positano. Yeah, it'll be fun. It'll be really good. And, okay, what is this? So my editor is fucking obsessed with you. Really? Oh, beyond. Not Soph. Soph's like, I'm not your editor. No, Soph is as well. But my editor, when she found out, like, she rarely will, like, reach out to me and be like about the guest. And she was like, I need to know everything, like,

I'm ecstatic. She was telling me about, like, there's, like, people online saying you got engaged for show. Or what the fuck are people talking about? I just feel like there are some things that we can just, like, keep to ourselves and, like, keep private. And, like, everyone wants to, like...

I understand because I offer insight to every aspect of our lives. And then people are... It's like random stuff with your house. You know what I mean? Like your house, your life, your health. People are like, wait, so what happened? And I'm like, wait, I don't have to share my doctor diagnosis. Unless I want to and that's really cool and people do. But people just want the fucking detail. Like the whole...

fucking background entirety of the details. Yeah, like my favorite thing about myself is that like when people meet me, they're like, I feel like I know you. And that is like, that's what I'm shooting for. You know what I mean? Like whenever I'm on the internet, I want people to feel like they just like hopped on a FaceTime with me. When I podcast, I want people to feel like they're just like watching a FaceTime with me and my girlfriend. Like that's- I feel that way. That's the goal. No, I literally met you four minutes ago and that is the vibe we're giving. And that's what I, that's the treat for me, right? But then like you run into these situations where people are like, but wait, like,

we're on FaceTime. I know you like, why didn't you tell me like what neighborhood you live in? And I'm like, wait, I just like there. Wait, I don't have to do that. Like everyone. Maybe I'm going to draw the line in my address. Yeah, no, there's just like certain like aspects to my life that I've realized like everyone doesn't have to have access to every single thing. And also like me, I

I can't shut the fuck up. Like I'm the least mysterious person ever. So sometimes I just like things that will just be like explained in time. And I used to live in this like world and under this like preconceived notion that like, I have to tell people now because people need the information now and they want everything now. And I share live, like I'm not a record and then post later kind of girl. Like I do everything in real time, but there are some things in life that you're allowed to like hold close to you and then share when you feel ready. And like, there's just like,

There's so many aspects to like my life and my love story and my house and my world and my health that I'm like, wait, wait, wait. I'm allowed to keep some things like close to my chest. And that's been like a thing I've had to learn. Like, I mean, baby girl, baby girl, you're preaching to the girl who cut my fucking relationship a secret for two years. But that's actually crazy. I always said I would do that again. Like once I like ended up with someone, but then I ended up with someone in the public light and then I was just like happy to share it. But there are

truly, like you just said, like how many, like what's the percentage of, of good versus bad, right? Like the percentage of good outweighs the bad by 20,000 times. But it's really crazy because there's a lot of pros to keeping things private. Like because James and I really do have such a,

wonderful, wonderful relationship. Like my family adores him. My friends adore him. I adore his family. His family adores me. Like we actually could just keep it to ourselves and be so fucking Gucci. Like it's really nice to have all the outsiders love our love story. And it makes me giddy and happy. And we were like, I love your, your story. It's so fun. But really sometimes I think, and I'm like,

I really could have just kept it to myself and like had that from just me but people are welcome I'm like yeah no you can still actually you can't no not too late but I think about that kind of stuff with kids I'm like maybe I'll be the person that doesn't like share everything about my kids because you don't like people are like you don't understand like stuff that bothers like people can say whatever they want about me and James but

people are like, it's a different can of worms. Whenever people start talking about like the fruit of your loins that you want to fucking knock if you both all of a sudden. So maybe I don't know. Crazy. I just, I'm like, it's hard for me cause I'm not mysterious. I want to share it all. But yeah, I've just had to learn to like keep some things like just some things are, you don't owe everyone access to every facet of your life right now. I'm like, I'll

share everything eventually like I haven't said the date of my wedding yet right that's for literally no no reason other than I just have like so many mean people on the internet I'm just like a I'm afraid in the same sense that like those girls like accidentally screenshot their like flight confirmation number and then someone calls American Airlines and it's like I'd like to cancel my flight all you have to know is like your name and your birthday and you can like cancel someone's flight and like that happened to someone random people will dm me and if I can tell they're really nice people like I've scrolled up and they've like messaged me nothing but nice things if they're like ask a question about my wedding I tell them I'm like oh I'm

getting married at this date, this place then because I know that most people are good. You know what I mean? But you're just kind of like, I don't want to announce the exact date or whatever because there are people that are crazy. There are. There are just people that are really like, like mean and vindictive and I just don't want to risk. But what's the mean, like what, like what's the mean part? Like I don't know, people just like really don't like

individually, James and I, like together, James and I, like there are just some people, I don't know what in us triggers them. Like people, like there's been moments where I've been like caught in lies where I'm like, fuck, like, and people are like, she's a liar. And I'm like, no, like I for sure was like, like covering something up and like lying and twisting things. But you're only covering up because you're trying to tell everyone everything. Yeah. But if I had to like pinpoint why people don't like me, I don't know. I'm like, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Like I get that. I've made peace with that a long time ago, but like, you know, people just,

People, people will like find literally anything. Yeah, absolutely. It's where I kept my fucking boyfriend a secret for two years. That's a really like, that's a really beautiful thing to be able to do that. Like, I don't know if my ego could. I'm like, look at how happy we are. People are like, that means you're miserable. And I'm like, okay. But,

But also, I've said that before too about other people. The longer the caption, I'm like, you know what I mean? And then here I am, it's his birthday. I'm like, love of my life. And I'm like, I really feel that way. I just want to write it out. But it's also unhealthy what I was doing. It's because I did not see a future. Like I did not see marriage. So I'm like, I'm not going to make a whole like pony trail. Were you always like trying to like maybe see what else, not see what else was out there, but like always keep options open kind of vibes?

I think I've been like that my entire life. I was like that. I have options. Until I met James, I was like that. Like, like dead ass. Okay. So that's actually one of the main things I wanted to ask you selfishly for me, but I feel like a bunch of the people listening like want to know this.

You talked about your relationship with him and how it's just so different than relationships before and you feel valued and you're not stressed. Yeah, I think before, like I just genuinely, I wasn't like emotionally cheating or anything. I think I just, in all my relationships before, I just always, I never saw like marriage. And if I did, it was just me picturing myself married with kids. Like he was like...

He was like this like silhouette of a man. Like he wasn't like, like now I literally picture like James holding our babies, like James and I getting married. Like all these things are like, I physically see him versus before I was just like trying to like match the steps of the age that I was at, that I think you should be doing these things. And all this guy and I've been dating for two years. So the next step would be to get married. So da, da, da, da, da. And I think like, realistically, I was always like, but what if, like, what if there's someone cooler, more famous, more rich, more this, like, even if it's,

Yeah. And I would be happy in those relationships. But I just like the world we live in is like really fucked up in the sense that like we have – and it's fucked up for guys too. Like they – you have everything at your fingertips. Like there's a gorgeous girl at your fingertips at every second. Like for me, there's like a guy that's like – like you just have to decide to like stick with someone. I think that's what marriage is. Like you really – he and I have like this beautiful connection that's wonderful and amazing. But I really do believe like –

I believe that cosmically we were obviously serendipitously meant to meet like the way we met is fucking crazy, right? It is. But I truly believe that in life, like James is probably not like the exact best person for me. Like somewhere in this huge, big, wild world, like there's someone probably that's like, like,

a tiny better like more compatible more compatible right who cares that's not the point of marriage and that's not the point of partnership the point of partnership is like deciding to be with that person and then like fighting past the percentages that don't work like I love that you said that like you have to like there's definitely someone out there better for him oh and

Always, though. There's someone that makes more sense for him than me, but that's not how the fucking cookie crumbles. And I'm really lucky. I come from parents who are still married, and James is very lucky. His parents are still in a really wonderful relationship, which is so rare these days. I was about to say...

that's crazy. It's really rare. And I think like, it's just a really beautiful thing to see people like fight for it. And both our parents have had separate situations in their lives that have been really trying and taxing. And like, they stuck it out. They stuck it out. It's not, yeah, it's not about there being something better. There's someone better out there for my mom and dad. I can't believe it, but there is, you know what I mean? Like,

There is. And they chose to stick with each other anyway. So that's like the beautiful part about marriage, like making it work. I love that. So that's why it's different. I just chose, I just chose like, this is the guy that like, I don't care. Like sure. There's something better out there, but I'm no longer looking for it because I choose this one to like figure this one out and stick through it. And like,

all the hard shit, all the dirty shit, all the nasty shit, all the rough shit. Like, I mean, US immigration as a whole, I'm like, God, it'd make a lot more sense if I married an American and you married a fucking British girl. Like we should, there's so many things. By the way, my mom is from Argentina and then she immigrated to the US when she was like 16. Right. But,

But my mom really likes people not from the U.S. Yeah. She's been married like three, four times. I don't even know. My dad, and I call him my dad, but the guy that raised me since I was six years old, he's from New Zealand. Oh, okay. He's a Halzit. Halzit. Yeah.

I love New Zealand. Oh, wait, have you been there? We went to Cape Town and like they like are very like similar. Totally, totally. Like accents. Like halls. Well, and also the London, you don't call it government. The fucking what? Like the queen, whatever. Like they govern New Zealand. Yeah, yeah. It's a province. A province. I don't know. I think I just made that up. But like it's something like that. I watched The Crown, guys. I know. It sounded really good. They're under this jurisdiction. I don't fucking know.

I don't know. They're vibing. Yeah, they got engaged. And the whole process of him actually becoming a citizen. Yeah, it's brutal. They were together for seven years and that's when he was able. It's brutal. It's like, you really, I mean, I'm like, oh God, I really should have paid attention to fucking econ class. Like, you really have learned so much about the government. I'm like, oh, the congressman works for us. We need to call the congressional office. They work for us. Like, it's, yeah, there's so much.

about it and there's yeah it's really difficult well 90 Day Fiance will really just like explain it all I know but you know what 90 Day Fiance isn't probably even fucking real because they are what is it Netflix?

I have no idea. Whatever they're with, those producers are probably like, like we can give you an A, like I even know the codes. I'm like, they probably have an O2 visa. Like you can't get an O2 visa unless you're like legitimately a like real celebrity or you have like a celebrity tie to be like, like Justin Bieber was probably under an O2 visa until he met Hailey. Like it just means like you're obviously a celebrity that like can obviously have connections. Yeah. Okay. So I'm like 90 day fiance. What a fucking treat. I'm sure you got like,

right away so easy yeah my mom my mom did it old school and she did it twice and that it takes a minute

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So anyways, we just choose to do it anyways. And I think that's what makes it different. And that's beautiful and honestly more romantic to me that you're like, we chose each other. Then like a love will just get us through everything because we're meant to be. It's like, okay. No, yeah. I don't believe that we're like, even though if we're like, how could you not believe that you guys met in the craziest, most, you had to be right there on that street at that time. And that is like a really beautiful, like fun, like, oh my God.

Stop like say like rom-com like way to look at it. And it was a really rom-com meeting, but it's not like, like again, I'm a realist and I really do believe like there's obviously someone out there better for him and better for me, but that's not the point. Like I think that's so adult and so big.

badass that you're willing to say that. Yeah. Because people who get engaged, like, well, I can't talk in general terms. I just say everybody, people, but like, no, I love a blanketed statement. I do too. It's so fun though. It's so fun. I love being like, last time I checked, literally everyone who's ever been engaged is blankety blank blank.

I love making blanket statements too, but like just really pushing this whole narrative of like love at first sight and there were no questions and you know what I mean? And we weren't love at first sight. That's what I wanted to ask you. We were obviously lust at first sight and then we got to know each other. So when in the process were you like, wait, maybe I'm going to marry this dude? Like pre-marriage.

Probably because we did, because we were long distance, we moved really quickly with each other. So we just started having more serious conversations than you would probably have if you lived like in my neighborhood in Nashville, you know? Um, but I want to say like two months in, I think I said to my girlfriend, like, wait, it also brought, it was probably an age thing. Like I was 28, 27 and I was like, wait, wait,

Maybe you can marry him. And she was like, well, you wouldn't be talking to this motherfucker from across the country if you didn't think that. And my best friend's like married with three kids. And she was like, yeah, well, like that checks out. But I don't know. It's like, I was just looking down at my ring and I just realized my, um, my parents got married in 1990. So I have this like cigar ring and, um,

We found out, James and I, like... Oh, my God. I thought you were about to tell me this was your mom's wedding ring. Oh, imagine. Like, honestly, like, slay. So trendy. That's kind of really cool. No, it's... That's really cute. The year they got married. And then I remember, I think I said something like, oh, it's my parents' anniversary. And James was like, oh, it's my parents' anniversary. And I was like... Shut up. They got married a week apart from each other. And I was like, wait, what year? And he was like, 1990. And I was like, no way.

way and even though I'm like we're not soulmates we chose each other like it's like low-key kind of feeling we're soulmates like his I mean Barcelona the both your parents are married and all within a week of each other the same year but I did have my dad like I was like what are what are what's one phrase because the jeweler who like shouts out R.W. Fine in Texas they're fantastic he's

She was like, I can put like in someone's handwriting, I can put like whatever you want on the inside in his handwriting. I was like, I'm going to ask my dad like what he would say about my mom and his marriage. Like, like, like sum up y'all's marriage. Like, I don't know why I thought he was going to say something really lovey or like something sweet. And he, and he like wrote, like he wrote, never quit. Yeah.

And I just thought that was like so beautiful. I was like, wait, yeah, that's like why I brought it all back to this. Like trying to find a long way to get back to my long story. It comes full circle. Full circle. It's like, like you really should just like never quit. Obviously there are reasons to quit. Like, yeah, don't stay in a toxic relationship. But I just think like a lot of people our age, like really just give up. Oh, definitely.

I just like don't want to get divorced. So I'm like, let's like figure it out. Which is very smart. And yeah, I think I have options. People have so many options. They're like, okay, there's someone better out there. And it's like, you just, it's a very delicate line. Yeah. When I was finding a wedding dress, I remember I was like trying to find a wedding dress, trying to find a wedding dress. And then I finally found what I really liked. But then after that, I was like caught in this like concept that I'm like,

there's something better out there. There's a prettier, there's a sexier dress. And then I realized like, bitch, you're like a cute girl. Like you could keep wedding dress shopping and you could keep finding gorgeous dresses. Like you, every time I go wedding dress shopping, I could find another gorgeous dress. Like you like pick one, stick with it. And that's your fucking dress. Like that's, I could keep finding cool dresses, but just like, you got to fucking pick one. When I was trying to find a dress for high school prom, I put my mom through absolute

torture in hell and we went to every fucking store we were in Miami I'm like nope and then when we got back home in Salt Lake I'm like every single store wedding dress shopping yeah it's crazy for telling you'll have to be that because I'm engaged and I need to start looking for dresses listen when the time comes just remember that sentence because I'm like wait I'm a cute girl and I like my figure I could keep

finding dresses I'm obsessed with. But you like, you have to get to a point where you're like, that's the one. That's that. Okay. That's the dress. Like fucking chill. Right. You know what my aunt told me one time? And this was when I was shopping for prom dresses, which is so embarrassing. Wait, you're like kind of obsessed with shopping for your prom dress. You're kind of like, you're kind of like, you have a problem. No, actually, I don't know why I got so crazy, but I remember my aunt said, it's not the dress. It's the person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? 100%. Like, you gotta just, like, whatever you... I feel like everyone says, like, you'll feel this way, you'll cry, you'll just... Oh, my God, the Olivia Culpo thing? Can we, like, talk about that really fast? That's crazy. Like, it's really... It really goes to show how the internet can take something and just, like, absolutely, like, just... Destroy it? Just croissant twist that shit. Like, it's really... It's really nuts. Like...

Like if you want to take away like something, like, I don't know, like if you want to find something raw, like let's just say you don't share the same religious views. Okay. Right. And so like you, maybe I know a lot of people took great dismay with her being like, whatever the quote was about, like Christian finds me the most beautiful when I'm like elegant and covered and like modest or whatever. Oh,

That's what people were very... I didn't know that element. People were very upset about that. But, like, I just think that that is truly, like, just their, like, Christianity views. And, like, that's just, like, their modest, like...

That was her vision. It was a very like kind of like royal moment, like Kate Middleton, like like they were never going to wear anything provocative for their weddings. Like I think it was just giving like this is the vibe. This is the Grace Kelly vibe I want to exude on my wedding. Like I took it that way. But you could if you like playing devil's advocate, you could be like, that's toxic masculinity. He wants you to be covered. But like she didn't say that.

I had no idea it was about that, Shannon. I thought it was people just shitting on her dress. People were like, yes, it's boring, which like, it was a gorgeous dress. Like, she's Olivia Colbo. Look at her fucking face, hair, and whatever. Like, she can literally wear, actually, to bring it really back, when she won Miss Universe, she was actually in a really similar dress when she won Miss Universe. She was in like this like,

pinky purple version of her wedding dress kind of like completely covered. And like, if you look at any other like pageant girl or Miss Universe, like they all wore like gorgeous, sexy, like salacious, like gorgeous, gorgeous dresses. And hers was like really covered.

And she won Miss Universe. Like, it's not like otherworldly that she decided to be covered up on her wedding day in a church. Like, I don't know. People just, I think it's quintessential, like internet taking something and making it so far extremist. And any extremist is just never going to get my vote. Like, I'm just always going to think you're crazy. Like, if you're an extremist for like Republicans or liberals, like if you're an extremist on either side, I'm like, you're fucking crazy. You should always be able to see both sides.

sides and yeah like i don't care if someone said they didn't like her dress and i don't think i don't like i haven't i haven't talked to olivia about it but like i don't think she probably cared if someone said her dress was ugly i think she probably because i saw that her and christian like commented back to me yeah olivia was like you were an evil yeah i think she probably took she probably people were also dissecting her comment right and they shouldn't eat me on your honeymoon and she was like yeah i am i can take two fucking seconds to respond to a comment like i didn't i didn't

block my whole day off to text this one fucking comment. Okay. I am on my honeymoon. I am enjoying myself. Like everyone takes everything to the fucking extremes. It's crazy. And I, I think like she called that person evil because that person took like a couple sentences and made it really fucking crazy. Like all of a sudden Olivia and Christian are in a Christian cult and no one can get married unless they're covered. Like she didn't

say any of that. Like she didn't say any of that. She just said she liked the dress. Christian thinks she's like her most beautiful. And why is that bad to talk about? Okay, my husband likes me to dress up like a little French maid in a Halloween costume to clean the house. Okay. She just like, she just said that. She's like, I just wanted my dress to be like serious and like exude like how marriage is. And everyone's like, oh, is this someone who dresses sexy and doesn't take their marriage seriously? And like, how many times can you say like

I didn't say that. Well, and also, I didn't say that. I don't think she picked her dress around how other people dress at their weddings. Yeah, I think she just did what she wanted to do. She wanted to be conservative, which I actually think... It's a slay. Do what you want. I think it's such a slay. I just like, I genuinely... I wish I had that confidence because unless I'm showing a little bit of skin, I'm like, you look hideous. I physically have to show my skin, so I can't relate. I can't relate, but I am absolutely...

Absolutely unbothered by her wearing what she wants to wear on her wedding day. And I also like not to get too aggressive here, but if she was any other religion and chose to be covered, I don't think anyone would be judging her for that. Like, I don't think anyone would be judging another female for choosing to be covered and for saying like, my husband likes when I'm covered like this for my wedding based on religion, preference, whatever. I don't think anyone...

anyone else would be like being like, you shouldn't do that. Like she should have gotten married in my hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah. They would have loved to dress. So many questions about Utah. They would have loved to live in this dress. Wait, Loki, like the Utah Mormons are kind of slutty. Like I kind of love it. Like the tank top over the t-shirt is crazy. Okay. By the way, you guys,

I'm about to record. Sorry, just had to like pop off on the fucking like Olivia Culpo dressing that like really bothered me. People really will like- I said it and you went running. No, I'm like, I've been dying to talk about this. Like people really did just absolutely assassinate her, like her article and her character. Like she didn't, it all boils down to like, she didn't say that. Everyone's like, so you're saying, so you're saying, she's like, no, I-

Literally didn't say that. Okay, this is why I need to, like, actually read the article because what I thought happened was she had the dress and then there was a TikToker who, like, regularly reviews wedding dresses said, That is true. I don't really like the dress. Like, I don't think it's that cute. And then her and Christian went, like,

No. And that is how the media spun it. But what really happened is I, I don't know the reason I really, well, I also just like, I love, like I'm a fan of Olivia Culpo. So like I read, I read the Vogue article and when I read the Vogue article, I was like, okay. And then I saw all the comments and I understood that the girl, the gal and I'd girl was like directly discussing, um, her, uh, her article that she wrote with Vogue. And the comment like, Oh, Christian loves like modest and whatever, which is what is wrong with that? I just, I just think that,

Now I'm on your side and Olivia Cooper's side 100%. The argument could be made that like in any other perhaps situation or religion, like no one would be castrating her for saying that her husband or her religion or anything about wanting to be modest, no one else would have like had an issue with it. No. Like I'm not here to beat down the Christian door. Like I'm really not. Like I'm not, but I'm just saying it's just interesting to me that if –

if any other, you know, person or religion would have said that, I don't think they would be getting as much flack. No one would bat a fucking eyelash. I just think like, oh my God, it's also like not to be so cliche, but it's her wedding. Let her do whatever the fuck she wants. She wasn't talking about your wedding. That's really what it comes down to. She was talking about her wedding. Like you guys are putting words in her mouth. Like just fucking relax. Just fucking chill. Yeah. Also, sorry. Like have we been talking for 85 hours or what? And also,

Is it hot as shit? Soph is like, you guys have to shut the fuck up. There's also another podcast recording that's going to happen because I'm going on Shannon's podcast. Guys, we're doing a little sloppy swap. Probably a podcast, which is the funniest name for a podcast ever. I really stuck myself into that branding early on in college by accident. Now I'm here and I can't get out. Help, I fall and I can't get up. Like,

Shannon, thank you so much. I cannot wait to go on your pod and love you so much. We'll watch this again. Thank you and see you in a sec. Bye.