cover of episode MINI: Is He The One?

MINI: Is He The One?

Publish Date: 2024/4/8
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It's Sophia Franklin and you are listening to Sophia with an F, but I think I'm in the mood for a quickie. What do you think? This is the thing is that the good news is that for every introvert, there's an extrovert out there waiting to pounce on you.

Happy Monday, my favorite people in the whole world. Ooh, did you just hear that little ribbit in my throat? I need to speak from the diaphragm. It's a little bit hard to do that when I'm sitting on the floor, curled up and leaning to my right. But happy Monday, everyone, and welcome to Sophia with an F. I am not wearing makeup.

It's a no makeup Monday. And why did I feel the need to let you guys know I'm not wearing makeup since probably the most of you are listening in the car and you can't see me? Because I will be uploading this video to TikTok and I'm insecure. But with that said, I want to go ahead and jump into

And not even jump, I want to dive. I want to cannonball into SOS. Save our sleuths and baby girls and boys and theys. I'm looking like a sleuth right now. Let's jump into question number one. Tips on making friends in a new city when you are an introverted 25-year-old.

Guess what? I was 25 years old when I left Utah and moved to New York City. And I knew absolutely no one except for my aunt who was barely here. So if there's anyone who's going to give you advice, it's this bitch. Here's the thing. You can be introverted.

It's not like, oh, I can't make friends unless I'm an extrovert. It doesn't work like that. You can be as introverted as you want to be. You just can't be inaccessible. And let me explain what I mean by that. You need to leave your fucking apartment. It's as simple as that because no one is going to be able to find you, let alone become your friend, right?

If you don't leave the couch. And also, you moved to a brand new city. Get out there and experience it. And I'm not saying experience it with all your fucking friends. I'm saying go out and explore this new amazing city you live in solo. It's the most exhilarating, incredible feeling in the whole world. You know that song, Welcome to New York by Taylor Swift?

It's like that. It's phenomenal. So that's where I think you should start. And you'll get more comfortable leaving your apartment. You'll get more comfortable with the city you live in. You'll be like, okay, so this is where, you know, I get my alcohol at two in the morning. Obviously, they're not allowed to sell it, but you know the bodega guy by now. So you just...

knock on the door. He's going to upcharge you. You can only use cash, but then you can get your alcohol. You'll figure out the fun bar and you'll just, you'll start to get accustomed to it. And this is the thing is that the good news is that for every introvert, there's an extrovert out there waiting to pounce on you.

And that probably didn't sound the most appealing, but it really is how I made friends, to be honest.

I don't know if I would consider myself an introvert, but I have never been the type of bitch to just start up a conversation for shits and gigs with a completely random stranger. However, people would do that with me. For example, one of the first friends I made in New York, I was using VIA, which no longer exists.

You guys probably don't even remember it. It was this shared car service, almost like Uber pool.

And I would use it to go to work, not every morning, but if I was running super late. And there was a girl who was in there and they fucking jam-packed these cars and we're all headed to the financial district. And it's usually 20-something-year-olds. And we were packed in there like sardines in this little van, headed down. And this girl, Stephanie, shout out, she...

she started talking to me. I think she was like severely hungover and she was just like, oh my God, I like want to throw up. I feel like shit. I'm so hungover. And I was like, you know what? This, this is my kind of girl. And we exchanged phone numbers, no effort on my part.

Stephanie took it over. She did the whole thing. She initiated the conversation. She was vulnerable and open talking about how fucked up she had gotten. And from there, I met so many people. That's the other thing is once you meet one person and they invite you to go out, which they will, right?

then you are then exposed to a bunch of people and it's not weird for you to befriend them and ask for their number, yada, yada, yada. So it really just takes one person and that person doesn't have to come off like best friend material right away.

Like with Stephanie, I, yeah, sure. We had the, I love to party in common. But besides that, I think we were two very different people, but it didn't fucking matter. We're in our twenties. We're both here in this city, here to have fun, here to meet guys, here to do God knows what. And just that's, you're going to bond over that. Like that's all you need. Let me also point out that

Do you know how many girls there are right now, this very second, wondering the exact same thing you are? There's at least 13 girls sitting in their apartments feeling a little bit trepidatious, a little bit scared because moving to a new city is scary and wondering how the hell they're going to make a friend out here in the streets when

Because that, you know, offers a lot of safety. And like you're by your fucking self. Of course you want a friend. My whole point here is I remember I would sit in my studio apartment, mattress on the floor, really not that cute or fun of a place whatsoever. And all of my neighbors were 80 years old or above and absolutely hated me because I was the only person who would play music after 9 p.m.,

I remember thinking like, oh my God, like all of these people have friend groups here. And I would go on social media and see another New York girly. And she's like with her squad and they both work in the fashion industry or whatever. And it's just that's so not true. There are so many people dying to make a friend, right?

So just be accessible. Sit at the bar, get a beer, and I promise you if you do that every single night, someone will come up to you and you will have a bestie for the restie. And that I can say with absolute confidence. And it doesn't have to be the bar. It can be anywhere that you quite literally have to frequent. You have a job, right?

Okay, fine. You work remote. You need to go to the gym. Like you need to go to some kind of class. You need to go to something at some point. So you'll meet someone and just be open to it and don't be closed off. Shy? Fine. Closed off? No.

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Your cash back really adds up. Hi, Sophia. I just had a baby three months ago and my boyfriend has been talking to other girls on Snapchat, like trying to meet up and get nudes from them. He also does not seem like he's attracted to me anymore, but I'm scared to confront him. What should I do? Cheers. I'm having a sip of tea for that one. Mm-hmm.

break up and never look back. Simple as that. Is doing things that are not forgivable and you are in an especially vulnerable position right now because you just had his fucking baby and he's gonna be out here on Snapchat trying to meet up with girls. Like, shouldn't he be busting his ass at his

fucking factory job trying to get enough money so you guys can buy diapers. Fuck him. He can go die, but not really because you guys do share something in common and that is a living, breathing human being, child, baby. So yes, the ultimate thing

answer, response, and best thing for you is to break up and never think about this man again. How long it takes for you to get to a place where that feels safe enough or you feel ready enough, that I'm not going to rush. That I'm going to leave up to you and you go at your own pace. I can only imagine...

How you feel three months after having a baby, you probably don't feel 100% confident about your body. Your hormones are still going to be wackadoodle-do. And this reminds me of when my mom was pregnant. My dad cheated on her while she was pregnant. And I don't think my mom's like ever been that low.

You know, it's like, it's just, it's a really shitty situation. I mean, I guess at least this guy waited for the baby to chew out of your vagina. That's incredible. But go at your own pace and think about how you want to handle this shared experience. And think about how you want...

To either keep or not keep the baby daddy in the picture. Not for you because you do not want him in the picture for you. Did you hear me? Okay. But for your child. That's it. Moving on.

I am in a relationship and I don't know if he's the one for me. I am terrified to be single. I'm 27, have a good job, have supportive friends and family, but I'm worried I won't find someone who treats me as good as this guy does because dating sucks right now. Help.

Bitch, we don't need to rub the 27 number in anyone's faces, okay? Just kidding. I feel this more than you can even know. Like, this is really speaking to me. You're questioning if he's the one. He's not. Damn, I'm talking in a lot of absolutes today and I really like it. God damn.

How do I know that he's not the one without ever meeting you guys, without even really knowing why? Is because the only reason that you are staying with him is out of fear of not finding someone else. Don't let the media and podcasts and this and that and sex in the city and all these things...

cloud your mind and make you jaded and make you believe like dating sucks. Like it's so hard. There's no good men out there. Not true. If you're going to think that way, then that will be your situation. If you're going to think in a different way, I am open to abundance and love and a sexy ass man. You will manifest that shit.

People will go on two or three bad dates and lose all faith and all hope. And that is just not the case. Like don't buy into that bullshit. There are men out there. 27 is nothing. Like actually nothing. And this isn't your guy, babe. He's just not. And you know what?

It's going to be hard when you break up with him. It's going to be hard when you're single after the fact. It's also going to be the most fun, freeing, happy time of your life. It's just a little bit of a bumpy road. You'll be depressed one day and then ecstatic the next. But do it now.

Because next thing you know, you're going to be 28 and basically be a cradle robber and a cougar. So just do it. And I'm here to give you the reassurance that no, he ain't the one, honey. And with that, sleuths, I love you guys. And I will talk to you next week.