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It's Sophia Franklin. You are listening to Sophia with an F. And the F is for phenomenal. This podcast is rated F. If we're talking marriage, chemistry.
or compatibility? - For me, I will pick chemistry any day. Remember, lead with your heart so chemistry goes with heart. Magic, it's called magic. - Magic. ♪ You can do magic ♪ ♪ You can have everything that you desire ♪ ♪ Magic ♪ Right? ♪ You know you're the one who can put out the fire ♪ Or light the fire. - Okay, love that.
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Welcome to Sophia with an F. I don't even need to explain who this is next to me. You are a legend, an icon. This is Luann De La Sebs from Real Housewives of New York City. How are you, Luann? I am so good. It's great to be here. Thank you so much. We just met, so. We just met. And she gave me powder. We're already vibing. And we're dressed like twins. So we're ready to go. It's New York. You know, black is black. I know.
I love how you try to make it like this thing. Like we're twinsies are both in black. You're like, honey, we're in New York. That would be every single person. So I want to ask you because Valentine's Day and we'll get into Real Housewives and all of that stuff. I'm sure we will. Yeah.
You're like, this is the 900,000th time I've had to talk about Real Housewives. Right. That's basically become your identity. Yeah.
Well, yeah, of course. God, when we started 15 years ago, we're almost 16 now, I never imagined the show would become such a huge franchise. Right. You know, we didn't know. We were just doing our thing. And we came around when Sex and the City was still on and Desperate Housewives. And those shows have been gone, you know, aside from Sex and the City coming back now, which I love. But, you know, it was kind of the reality version of those things kind of combined. Yeah.
And, you know, it's been such a ride and I would have never dreamed it had taken me this far. You know, I spun off into Crappy Lake, which is streaming on Peacock now. How is that? Crappy Lake was a total departure from Housewives for me. You know, when they came, you know, originally the producers did The Simple Life.
They did all the Kardashians. And when they came to Bravo and said, who do you have for this show? They picked Sonya and myself, which is Sonya and Lou, like Laverne and Shirley. They picked the two best, in my opinion. Thank you, darling. And, you know, it was such a great trip and it was a great experience.
for me in terms of being able to go into the small town and helping people. You know, so it was a big departure. It was comedy as opposed to Housewives drama stuff. It was really about helping this town. And it was a dream job for me because to be able to be somewhere, a small town, help people come back after COVID was really a dream job. And, you know, I did a whole, we did a whole variety show with the townspeople. You know, we helped the dog shelter and get the dogs outside. They had nowhere to be outside. Wow.
built a playground for, you know, a neighborhood that needed one. Wow. So it was really, and we worked directly with the mayor. So it was, it was really, it was fun and it felt really good. And it felt really good. You always, I feel like from season one of Real Housewives have been very into charity work always. Yes, yes. So that must have been great for you. Yeah. You know, I've always tried to highlight, cause you know, we do have a platform, right? So, you know, it started with the homeless, then it was the cancer society, then it was
You know, people who had been, you know, who had been going to jail and needed help when they come out of jail after a long time called the Fortune Society. So I've always tried to highlight things that I care about because we do have a platform and we do help raise awareness and money.
I agree. And you're making me look a little bit bad right now, Luann. What do you mean? You look amazing. You're like, we have a platform, which I do want to get more involved. Well, your platform is huge. And so you have a great opportunity there also to do a lot. So maybe you can like show me a thing or two after this. Sure. Tell me where to sign up because I'm ready to go. Sure. Good for you, Sophia. Thank you. Okay. So we have Valentine's Day coming up. Yes.
Do you think the girl needs to get the man a present? Do you think the man needs to get the woman a present? For Valentine's Day? I think it goes both ways, you know. And the present could be, you know, something simple like a love note on the mirror and red lipstick in the morning when he wakes up. Happy Valentine's Day.
with a big heart and your lips on the mirror. I mean, you know, it is about the heart, right? Valentine's is all about love and the heart. And I feel like when you lead with your heart, it's very hard to lose.
So when you're trying to predict and you're trying to make things happen, you know, with your head, that's when you should really try to get into your heart and say, you know, this is how I feel. You know, I think people have a hard time showing their emotions because they're afraid. Yeah. You know, what's there to be afraid of? I'm a hopeless romantic. So I've been married twice, I think three times a charm. And I think that...
you know people need to take more chances and what can happen you know like what can happen like you get a no or I didn't like that or whatever but at least you've done it with your heart and that's why I say like a love message as simple as that on a mirror in the morning you know when he wakes up he goes to the bathroom to go pee pee it's sexy and he sees a sexy love note on the mirror
Right. With your lips, you know, use red lipstick, of course. Of course. Very effective. That, I would have never thought to do that as a gift. Right. Something simple. Or a love note, you know. Or a love note, because people think, oh, I need to shell out a ton of money. No, you just need to, you know, be thoughtful. And go with the heart. And come from your heart. That's it. I really liked hearing what you just said. I've been married twice, but I'm a hopeless romantic. Three times the charm. Right.
I am 31. I don't think I've ever been in love. I don't think I've ever allowed it. I think I always have my walls up.
There you go. How have you been able, like, did you never have a wallop? Like with your first husband? Well, no, with my first husband, it was love at first sight, really. You know, I knew he was going to be my guy. Like how soon? They call it a coup de feu en français, which means love at first sight. You know, I knew he came up to me after five days and he said, you know, you're going to be the mother of my children. I said, I know.
and he asked me to marry him soon after we got married two weeks later. And, you know, I feel like a lot of times when that kind of opportunity comes to us, we're afraid of it, and when the train doors open up,
you either get on the train or the door is closed and it takes off without you. So I feel like people miss opportunities all the time. And I think it is because they have walls up. They're afraid to show their true emotions. They're afraid to show their heart because they're afraid of getting hurt. Now, you know, the only thing to fear is fear itself.
And that is so true. So, you know, don't be afraid. What, you think you have the rest of your life? We only have today. We don't know if we have tomorrow. So go full in, jump in, you know, and take a chance. And I feel like people aren't doing that today. And listen, because of social media, because of how...
unavailable we make ourselves. You know, you go to a bar now and people are on their phones instead of striking a conversation with somebody next to them. You know what I'm saying? So communications are down because of so many things in our lives. We have busy lives. We're on our phones, you know, social media. And I think there's too many, you know,
Distractions. Distractions. And I was going to say like flags everywhere. And it's like hard to concentrate. But I feel I'm a big manifester. So I feel like whatever it is you want in your life, you have to put it out there in the universe. You know, what you say to yourself means a lot. Like I am like when I first came to New York, I was a model and I had two roommates. One was in real estate. The other one was in finance.
And I was his model, the one many thousands. And they're like, well, what makes you think you're going to get the job? I'm like, well, I'm just as good as everybody else. If you don't think you're great, nobody else will think you're great. When you put out there that you want to manifest love or, you know, you want to, you're interested in someone, then you have to show it. You know, playing hard to get, you know, is so old school. Right. It's not cool. No.
I feel like you really have to approach somebody. You know, I do that all the time. You know, look at me on the Ultimate Girls Trip. Ramona's like, oh, look at her. It's like a shark attack. And I was waiting. And then the music was like, dun-dun-dun. As I was swimming around this hot guy in the ocean, right, I was attracted to him. And I was like, he is hot. So I was waiting. And sure enough, a girl comes along with two popsicles, right?
Right? For both of you guys to eat. No, for her and her man. So what does he do? She gives him his popsicle, introduces us. He introduces us. Oh, we just met. This is Luanne. And he goes, here, Luanne, here, have my popsicle. Oh, my God.
What a gentleman. He gave me the popsicle that his girlfriend just gave him. Oh, that's so... And so I go over to the girls and say, you'll never guess what happened, you know. But I went for it. I waited. I saw that he had a girlfriend, and that was just fine. I got rejected in a way. Uh-huh. But I don't let that rejection take me down. So the guy had a girlfriend. Yes. And you were kind of swimming around this dude shark-like. Yes. Or however they said. I should...
I think it was shark-like, but okay. I think it was dolphin. It was graceful. It was beautiful. It was graceful. It was a stingray. It's true. And the girlfriend swims up to you and this man, and he took the popsicle that she brought for him and gave it to you. Yes. Do you think that that was a...
a, like, great gesture. I think it was a great gesture. Now, the girlfriend could have taken many ways. Right. Now, if you're insecure, okay, if you're insecure and you don't think...
you're great, then you're going to feel maybe bad about that. But that's on you. That's not on me. Yeah. Do you understand? Yes, totally. She didn't have any problem with it. She thought, what a gentleman I have. He offered the lady a popsicle. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's all the way that you look at things. And when I say talk to yourself in a positive way, that's what I mean. You know, what you say to yourself and what you put in the universe makes a big difference. It does. So negative self-talk,
has to go. Yes. It's only positive self-talk. Like, I'm manifesting this year. 2024 is my year for love again. And I know that's going to happen because I'm... You're saying it right here, right now. I'm saying it right now. And I believe very much in manifestation. I believe in energy. What you put out there...
means something. So, and I'm going to just piggyback off of you and I'm going to say 2024 is my year for love. There you go, Sophia. There you go. My energy and my aura. I'm not going to say in a podcast I've never been in love.
I'm going to say I am so ready for love this year. Exactly. It did scare me a little bit when you said you don't have all day type of thing. Right. Because you don't. No, you only have today. I mean, or this moment, actually, you know, you can walk across the street and God forbid anything happens to you. But you know what I'm saying? Yes. So people think, you know, oh, there's time. But you know what? There's only this time.
I live in the present. I don't live in yesterday and I don't live in tomorrow. You know, I mean, like I have a big cabaret show coming up in Los Angeles. It's all new. Got a lot of celebrities coming. I'm only thinking today and no matter how much I worry about how well that show is going to go, the show is going to go how the show is going to go.
performing live. So do you take, do you not freak out before? I was about to say, do you take propranolol, which is something that my psychiatrist prescribed me? Oh yeah, that's for stage fright. But you know, that dries out your voice. Does it? It does. It does really. I have noticed
Yeah, it dries out your voice really bad. Do you see me here with a water bottle? Okay. You got to drink lots of fluids on that stuff. But no, you know, there's always, you get the jitters, but I'm the kind of person, I get out there and then I'm like...
Oh, this is going to be good. You know what I mean? But you always get pre-jitters. And then, you know, once I start going, you have to take me off with a hook. I'm like a showgirl. I'm built for cabaret. It's my passion. It's something that I love to do. You know, I've been doing it for six years, since 2018. And, you know, I love performing. And I think people, well, people can see that. I mean, you know, somebody loves what they're doing or they're not. You know what I mean? Either they're having a good time and you're along on the ride or
or you're not. You're like uncomfortable for them already. Do you know what I mean? Totally. You know, and I enjoy it. You know, I build the show. I pick all the music, all the stories I tell you are the stories you're never going to hear on Housewives. Do you know what I mean? Because people think they know me from Housewives.
But they really don't. I mean, they know just two minutes of my life each episode. Yep. So I get to share with you things that you never know. They really know. You know, I show, you know, I tell stories from my past about, you know, great mentors I've had in my life. Yeah.
You know, I sing everything from Stevie Nicks to David Bowie. - So you dance and sing live? - I do, I do. - That's incredible. I would do anything to go to one of your shows. - You would love it. - I'm going. - It is a party. So, you know, I love my fans. First of all, they come dressed in their sequins, their statement necklaces, they show up for me. And I love that. And, you know, they're so supportive. I always say I can trip and fall and they'd be like, "Oh my God, that was so elegant, Countess."
You know what I mean? I feel so much love in that room. And, you know, I put on a great show. I always say people come in in a Toyota and they drive out in Rolls Royce because they don't know what to expect. And I put on a great show. You know, again, it's like cabaret meets comedy meets pop culture. Yeah. So, you know, I show clips.
I sing, I tell stories, I, you know, I tell jokes. I mean, just your presence here. I can only imagine you up on a stage. Oh, no, it is really a fun ride. And, you know, the proof is in, you know, ticket sales and people are loving the show and...
I've gotten great reviews. I just did three shows in New York. Broadway World said it was dazzling. And so, you know, that gives me a lot of pleasure and I'm kind of spreading a lot of joy is kind of what I do with my show. And it's old school. It's like, you know, God rest in peace Chita Rivera, who is such an icon. And I had such a pleasure of working with her at one point to do a charity event for Broadway Cares.
You know, I've gotten to work with Liza Minnelli. I've gotten to work with all the, you know, icons in the business. And so I bring something to the stage that's very kind of old school, but pop culture. Okay. Yeah. And have you ever thought about doing Broadway? No.
Well, yeah, people ask me that all the time. You know, maybe my new tour, Mary F. Kill, will go to Broadway. I love that that's the name of the tour, by the way. Mary F. Kill. Well, you know, again, I was inspired by my audience because I do a Q&A in my shows and I always get asked the question, who would I marry, who would I F and who I would kill? Now, we're not killing anybody, but it's who would you get rid of? So I wrote a song. So I have a new song coming out, Mary F. Kill, which you are going to love. Um.
And it inspired me to write a whole show about who is it that we want to marry? Who is it that we want to F? Who is it that we want to kill? Right? Who do we want to get rid of? So, you know, it's like I say to my niece who's in her 30s as well. I said, it's time to start aiming at the bullseye. You can't just shoot your arrows wherever. Now let's aim. Let's aim and get it right in the center of what you really want. And that goes back to manifestation. ♪
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I was in the middle of personal training and I was talking about freezing my eggs and my trainer said, at age 35, it's considered a geriatric pregnancy. Right? And guys can just see now, look at Alec Baldwin. He's still having kids at this age. It's crazy. Geriatric pregnancy means four years? Well, listen, if you're thinking about it, then do it.
Again, goes back to manifestation. Don't think about it. Do it. But should I freeze the eggs or else is that kind of putting into the world that I don't really need love right now? No, that's putting into the world love.
I'm going to do this just in case, you know, it's called a backup plan. Okay. Because you can find, so you freeze your eggs and then you find the love of your life at, I don't know, 37, 38, whatever it is. 31 or 32. No, but I'm just saying, but at least you have that, you have that safety net. Of course. And that makes, so the safety net, guess what? Makes you more relaxed.
So you're not so desperate and clingy to find the guy. You see, that's the point of the eggs. I like that. All of France says. All of France says. Exactly. Get a load of them. Keep your options open. Guess what? This is going to give you a sense of, you know, of tranquility and like, it's okay. You know, it's okay. So you're not worried about it. You know what I mean? Yes. How, have you ever stayed in a relationship knowing it was wrong? Yes. Yes.
Okay. But not for long. Not for long. Right. So you're pretty good about just getting out of there. Well, you know, when there is doubt, you know, I think that often life takes care of itself. You're like trying to figure out what to do and then something happens and
And it's done. Right. You know what I mean? So for me, you know, the first marriage was like, you know, I don't know if I can live in Switzerland any longer. I got to move back to the States. You know, I wanted to work again. But that wasn't going to really work for the marriage.
But I took a chance. It wouldn't work for the marriage in the sense of... Well, the separation, you know. Okay, got it. Because he was in Europe and I was in America and I was thinking we could make... Anyway, so that separation, you have to keep close to your guy. Right.
Okay, so you really think that. I do. You don't think long distance is really something that can work? Well, does long distance ever work out? Have you heard of a successful long distance relationship? Maybe not, but I think a short distance one doesn't work either. Well, you know, it's about giving each other space, but at the same time being connected.
Yeah. You know, you have to be connected. You have to have sex. You have to, you know, be on the same page. You have to have each other's backs. You know, you can't do that if you're in another country. Yes. It's kind of hard. Yes. To have sex in another country, you know. I agree. I mean, you would know more than I would because I'm over here. And when I talk about life takes care of itself, like, and my second marriage, you know, to Tom. Mm-hmm.
That just took care of itself in so many ways. And I couldn't figure out how am I going to get out of this and not look bad because it was only seven months later. But it's also like, who cares if you look bad? Who cares? But you know what? I had to get over that little hump. Yeah. And, you know, and we all have the same problems. We all have the same problems, you know. And basically, we just all need to be loved. Yeah. You know, and give love. Yeah. You know, that's the thing. You know, life is not worth living without love.
It's true. It really isn't. So get out there and take a chance and lead with your heart. And it's really hard to go wrong when you do it that way. Wow. I know. I should do my own dating. I should do a dating podcast or tips on flirting or whatever. I'll come on and be your guest a lot. We'll talk. I love that. We'll talk. You have every tip. I mean, that's really smart, though, is to lead with your heart. And it sounds cliche, right, and corny, but it's so true. It's called the heart...
Right? So look that up. Well, can you tell me about it? Well, because when you... Because I obviously don't have it. When you're leading with your heart and you think with your heart and you're not trying to calculate... Hmm.
Like, oh, he checks all the boxes. He's rich. He's good looking. He's this, he's that and whatever. And then, you know, you miss the box, which is like, I don't know, he's a drug addict or he's, you know, or he's a gaslighter or he's, you know what I mean? So, and then you go, well, you know, I can fix him.
No, I've never been a fixer, but yes, I know a lot of people do that. Okay, we do that all the time, but then we get into our head. Yes. And we're not thinking, what does my heart say? What does our gut tell us? And when I say heart, it really has to do with your gut because our gut is our first brain. The gut always knows...
Oh, I do love them. But uh-oh, there's, you know, it always tells you here. And then what we do is we take our gut instinct and we go into our mind. And then we talk ourselves out of it. And then we talk ourselves out of it, into it, out of it. Right. This is where we go wrong. All around. I've seen so many studies have been done showing that going with your gut reaction is nine times out of ten more accurate. That's your gut.
- Heart. - Heart and soul. - That's your microbiome. That's why everyone take your probiotics in the gut. - There's more neurons in your gut than there are in your head. So guess what? That's why it's called gut instinct.
because it knows what to do. Okay. And then the head fucks with us. Oh, whoops. No, sweetheart, we can say the F word. Oh, okay, I don't know. I'm used to TV where you can't say the F word. No, no, no, no, no. We say the F word quite a bit here. Do you know my song F bombs on the G with the OGs? You have to listen to that. F bombs on, I know the, I know the like core songs. Money.
Yeah, Money Sheik, Giovanni, F-bombs. We were listening to it. So F-bombs I rode after we did the first Ultimate Girls trip. Remember when Kenya Moore was there and Ramona and myself and Beverly Hills, Kyle came. Then we had Jersey, New York.
And so that song was all about how, you know, F-bombs were flying on the G4 with the OGs when we first took off to go to the Turks and Caicos. Anyway, you have to check out that song. There's a Bravo made a video for it, which is pretty amazing with all of the housewives in it. It sounds amazing. It's more of a rap song, which I love. So you're rapping. It's kind of rapping. Okay. It's a rap.
What can't she do? What can she not do? So I'm going to rewind and do a little segue. You put out a book and maybe two on etiquette. Yeah, no, I just did a class with the countess, how to live with elegance and flair. That was back in 2009 when I wrote money can't buy you class. And that's
really where that song came from. Because, you know, I was living in Europe for a long time and then I moved back to the States and I just couldn't get over a lot of the, you know, behavior that was going on. Yeah. So I felt it was important and I intertwined this book with stories of my life, um,
et cetera, and share my tips on how to be elegant because we have to learn how to be elegant. Yeah. We're not born elegant. And, you know, certain people are, have more class than others just naturally, right? But then we have to learn, you know, how to pick up our utensils at a seated dinner party in, you know, the South of France. Right. Or, you know, who walks in the door first, you know, in the revolving door. Is it the guy? Is it the girl? Who gets in the taxi first?
You know, right? The taxi. Taxi. No, let the guy scooch over, you know? Wait, let the guy scooch over? Yeah, he opens the door, he climbs in because you don't, do you want to slide across in your sequined dress? Okay. You're going to lose a lot of sequins that way. Okay.
So that's like a big debate. A lot of people think the man should open the car door for you and let you in. He should, but then jump in and let you get in last. So he should slide in. Yeah, because then you've got to shimmy with your beautiful dress on, right? Right. Then you've got to step over the hump of, you know, the other seat and etc.,
So, you know, and like revolving doors, the boy gets in and he pushes that door first, making it easier for you to glide right in. He walks into the room first, not you. He does? Yes. He doesn't, he comes over to the table to say hello to you. You don't get up and go over to the table to say hello to him. It's because women give permission.
And we forget that. Women, like the queen, for example, you know, you don't go to the queen and give your hand to her. It's up to her to extend her hand to you. Yes. Women give permission for those to enter. Yes. And that's important. And whether it's with your eyes, called flirting.
You know, hi, I'm, you know, okay. This is what is flirting. Like looking at a guy from across the way. Yes, and believe me, he's going to know that you're interested in him by the way you look at him. And this is his cue to come over and say hello to you. Okay. Would you ever...
stand up and walk over to him and introduce yourself? Well, listen, you know, we are living in 2024. I, you know, personally would not. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I think, and I say, you know, listen, take a chance and put yourself out there, et cetera, et cetera. But there's a way of doing things. Yeah. You just bat your eyelashes. I just got a lash lift. I'm going to bat them as much as I can. And
That's what I'm going to do. You know, it's the old handkerchief thing, you know, like I was saying in my Cabaret show the other night, and we'll get back to Cabaret, but, you know, it's the old handkerchief thing, you know. You see a guy at Chase Bank, right?
Whatever. You know, it used to be you drop a handkerchief and he's going to, he'll come and pick it up. Now you have to be near the guy that you're interested in, of course, because, you know, if he's halfway across the bank, he's not going to see. You've got to shark around. You've got to be, you've got to go put yourself around him. And, you know, today, who's carrying a handkerchief? So, you know, I'm like, drop a $100 bill. Believe me, he's going to notice, he's going to pick it up.
And that's when you can engage with him and make that eye contact and show him that you are interested in him. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Women really do give permission is the point. Yes. How do you feel about if I was at dinner and there was a table of guys and I was really attracted to one of them and I gave him my panties on the way out? No, I think that's a little much. I would send a note to the table.
Okay. And what does the note say? The note says, why don't you join us for a drink? See, I don't even think of it. I'm straight to the underwear. Just say it. No. That's a little overkill, darling. I mean, I've never done it, but like it sounds kind of fun. But I don't even, the mirror, the lipstick on the mirror. Well, I would be turned off. If I was a guy and you were to send me underwear, I'd be like, uh. That sends a sign.
How many, how many underwears does she have in her bag? Right. Right. But, you know, if you write a little note and have somebody bring it over, like the waiter, and say, you see that guy over there? Can you just send him this note? I like that a lot.
You know, so there's certain instances and, you know, and that's a great way of doing things because you're not going to get up and go over there. How embarrassing. What if he's married? What if his woman is in the bathroom and she comes back to the table and there you stand? You know what I mean? Yes. So you got to guard yourself also. You have this down to a science. You have to be your own bouncer.
Yes. You have to take care of yourself. Totally. You put yourself out there, but not when you might get hurt. Yes. And you try not to get hurt. Mm-hmm. I want to ask you one last dating slash marriage question. What do you think is more important in a relationship, if we're talking marriage, chemistry or compatibility? Yeah.
And can you have both? Chemistry. Yeah. Well, of course. I mean, you're asking me to choose. Yes. Well, choose. For me, I will pick chemistry any day. So great sex, but they're like, you can't really have. So compatibility is calculated, isn't it?
Oh, he likes that. I like that. Yes, true. It's a little bit more calculated. Remember, lead with your heart, so chemistry goes with heart. So, okay. Magic. It's called magic. Magic. Magic. Okay. Chemistry, magic. Remember magic? I don't. I don't remember. That's a song I should sing in my show. You should, absolutely. You can, what is it, be magic or you can have magic? You can have magic.
You can do magic. You got the magic in me. No, no, mine's the old one. You can do magic. You can have everything that you desire. Magic, right? You know you're the one who can put out the fire or light the fire. Okay, I love that. I was singing a different magic song, but we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We'll hum into Google. ♪
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You deserve to feel great. Book your virtual visit today at joinmidi.com. That's joinmidi.com. I guess, okay, let me ask you this. If it boils down to a guy that's going to give you the best sex of your life... Mm-hmm.
Conversation is lacking. Like, intellectually, he's not really stimulating. Mm-hmm. Or even emotionally. That or... It's called a one-night stand. Oh.
End of discussion. That's what's called a one-night stand. Okay, so if the conversation and all of those things are not there, then that is not someone you marry. Like, you don't marry just— How could you marry somebody that doesn't have a good intellectual game going? What interest is there, you know, after the sex? I mean, you know. Right. That's why I call it a one-night stand. Yeah.
I should make those more into one night stands. I'm going to have to write a list of all the shit I just told you. No, actually. You know, listen, I have been so lucky in my life. I've had great mentors. And one of them being a woman called Honey Child. And Honey Child used to work in the old days with Bob Hope and radio. And they used to say, wherever there's hope, there's honey. And honey gave me some real syllabi. And the first one was honey.
Lou, always be the first to leave the party. Nevertheless, keep them guessing where you've gone. It's called a little mystery, right? I mean, I failed at that one, but the times that I didn't, it worked every single time. I mean, did you fail? You got to grab a guy's attention. Sure. You know, we've often stayed too long at parties and, you know. Right, right, right. And then, you know, then there's no interest anymore. You know, it's kind of like, you
You know, it's the mystery. Like, somebody catches your eye, et cetera, you stay for a while, you flirt, flirt, flirt with the eyes, whatever, and then it's time to go. That's my forte. An Irish goodbye. Good for you. Irish goodbye. It's good. Now, the other one was, if they're not talking about you, you might as well be dead. And that one I scored an A-plus on, that's for sure. Yeah.
But, you know, great mentors are everything. I've learned from great mentors in my life. And that, you know, that just comes with age, you know. And I'm living, for me, I'm living my best life in my 50s. I really am. So I hope I inspire you, darling. I can see it. When you, at the very beginning, when you said, you know, the show started 15 years ago, I was like looking at your face like, wait, it's not adding up.
Oh, thank you. You look incredible. Thank you, darling. Thank you. You really, really do. Thank you for that. You know, my mother is 95. She just turned 95. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You know, it helps to have some good genes, too. It does. Do you do sunscreen, skin care, all that? You know, sure. But I think it's... It's genes. It's genes and Botox.
It's jeans and Botox. Sure. Which, by the way, actually, I'm going to keep it a secret. Yeah. Don't tell everybody everything, okay? I know, right? They don't need to know everything. But that's what having a podcast is, is it's like, and then I just reveal too much, which has also kind of been an issue in dating for me. Well, you know, it's not a bad thing, but you want to keep some mystery, you know? Yeah. You know, when I first started doing Housewives, you know,
I remember telling the crew, you know, the producers, see this bedroom right here? See this door? Don't go near it. You're not going in the door. That's my bedroom. That's my private space. And you're not allowed. You know, so we have to make boundaries also, you know, for ourselves. And that's where I talk about being your own best security guard. Yes, because no one will do it for you. Right. But, you know, it's the balancing act. Don't be too guarded. Don't be too guarded. No, don't be too guarded and don't be, you know,
Loose lips. Loose lips sink ships. Loose lips sink ships. That's true. Something about lip syncing and loose lips sink ships. I think that's where I started to mess it up. One day I was in the south of France and I said to a woman on her yacht, I said, so what do you do? And she says, I'm a lady of leisure. I was like, wow. How do you? How mysterious is that? How mysterious and how? That was like.
Fuck you, mystery, all in the same sentence. Yes. Like how I'm, you know, so the answer was really, you know, I take care of my husband. The answer was, yeah. I take care of my guests. I make sure your champagne glass is full.
You know, I got plenty to do, girl. See, you took more from it than I did. What were the words again? Because I'm going to, I need to add it. She simply said to me, I'm a lady of leisure. See, that means to me, I lay on this yacht. She takes time to take care of herself, her family, her things.
you know, this idea that we all have to work our asses off. I'm over it. Yeah. No, I mean, it's time to throw down that, that handkerchief, darling. Let the man pick it up. A hundred dollar bill. Yeah. But now it's a hundred dollar bill because it's 2024. But, um, the point is, is to not, um, be so hard. And because, you know, I, I,
I just know that every man loves a damsel in distress. True. They do. They love those girls. And, you know, because it gives them power as a man. You know, I'm afraid, you know, during this time, you know, we've taken over. Women have really are ruling the universe right now. You know, that's amazing. And God knows I, you know, love my career. I love my cabaret and all of that. But don't forget about that soft side that men want to feel like they can...
swoop in and save the day because they need, you know, they need that. Men are men and, and this comes in their genes. Talk about, you know, gut instinct and all those things.
So it's managing your damsel and managing your diva. Oh, that's good. Ooh, that's good. Write that down, Roger. Write that down. That was my... Not to manage your diva and your damsel. I like that a lot. And I agree with you. I love this new wave feminism. Yes. Certain aspects of it. I have seen my mom, who has been married several times...
She's beautiful. She's always been the breadwinner. Right. And that is why it hasn't worked out. Because a year or two in, you know, the guy feels not as much of a man. Right. Well, you know, Jill Zarin said to me something very interesting years ago. She said, you can't have two peacocks. That can only be one peacock. Right.
You know what I mean? Very true. Yeah. So I think. I'm the peacock. Look at my hair. Look, you are a peacock. You're gorgeous. Gorgeous and hair. Your mom must be gorgeous. But you know what I mean? And that goes back to managing the damsel and the diva. Because, you know, we have careers. You have your podcast, which is.
kicking it and you know and I'm my cabaret career um and and my tv career um so I'm you know and I'm a mom and I'm the concierge and I'm you know the driver and I'm you know we women you know wear a lot of hats yes but we can't um we can't forget to take off our hat sometimes and put our feet up and let somebody rub our backs I totally agree I act broke
Well, I don't know if broke is the way you want to go. Just kidding. Not broke. Unless it's like a... And I'm not talking either about financially being a damsel. I know. I'm messing around. But just, you know, that little bit of like, I need you. I need a little bit of guidance. I need you. I need a man. I need love. You know...
That is what I talk, when I talk about your energy, you're putting out like, yeah, I want that. Yeah. I want love from you. Yep. I want energy from you. Come on over here. Yes. Come on over here. Come here and have a little cocktail with me. Why not? You know? You are just, I mean, there's been like- You didn't know what you were getting today, Sophia, I can tell you that. There's been 20 things to put on a t-shirt already. I know, right? From you. Oh my God, I love it.
Um, okay. And I'm going to use this as my cabaret show because my next show is February 16th for Valentine's Day. Yes. So my next show is February 16th for Valentine's Day and Galentine's Day at the Wiltern in Los Angeles. It's the opening of my tour. I cannot wait because everyone's going to hear Mary F. Kill for the first time. Um, and then I'm going to off to, um,
Boston March 1st and the second I'm in Connecticut at Foxwoods Casino then I'll be at the Paramount in Long Island which is one of my favorite places on March 16th so the Paramount actually is in Long Island at the Paramount okay um you know where I live I lived on Long Island for many years so I'm excited to do the Paramount because it's one of my favorite venues
Okay. I was dating a guy who lived there in his parents' like $8 million mansion there. In the Huntington? No, I think it was like Sands Point. Oh, okay. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, there's some beautiful homes in there. But it was his parents. Well, I know. But maybe, I don't know, maybe that's not a bad thing. Oh, here we go with the calculating mind.
I know. Here we go with the calculating mind. I need to knock it off. Luann, you need to have a podcast. Right. Yeah, I think, you know, it should be like a mentoring one, really. I mean, you know, I can't talk, you know, what you're going through as a 30-year-old. Obviously, you know, I've been there. You know, my nieces are in their 30s. So I get you. And, you know, life takes care of itself. But just...
Lead with your heart. And manifest it. And don't calculate so much and just take a chance. Yes. You never know what's going to happen. I made some big changes just in the past few months going with my gut. Yeah, good. And it makes all the difference because you end up at the same conclusion or if you end up at the other conclusion, it didn't make that much of a difference. No, but you know, you know...
What you have to remember is you have a good time. All those experiences are like rungs on a ladder. They get you to where you're supposed to be. Like heartbreak.
Okay, I got heartbroken when I grew up in Connecticut. I was a nurse. A lot of people don't know that about me. I am a nurse still because once a nurse, always a nurse. And, you know, and I was dating a guy and I, you know, my heart got broken. Let me just put it that way without giving away too much because I'm actually going to tell this story in Mary F. Kell. But he broke my heart. And you know what? That heartbreak catapulted me to New York. And that would forever change my life.
I ended up in New York from a heartbreak. There you go. So, you know, all these things are like lining us up to where we're supposed to be in that certain train station where those doors are going to open. And you're going to be like, oh, yeah, I'm going. You know what I mean? And guess what? What's the worst thing that could happen? You get back home on the train and you go. True. And that's it.
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Were you looking for love when you met your first husband? No. No, I was actually, I had an Italian boyfriend. You know, I used to work for Italian television. I used to be a TV star in Italy, by the way. I used to work for Italian television. Can you speak Italian? Okay, I love that. No, I speak Italian and French. A lot of people, well, you do know from Chic, c'est la vie, c'est bon, c'est bon. But, you know, I spent many years in Europe, and so I speak three languages.
And I was dating an Italian when I met the Count. I was at a dinner party. He wasn't there. He had to go on a business trip to Berlin, to Germany. And that one night changed the rest of my life. Wait, the Italian didn't show up? No, he was on a business trip and I was seated next to Alex. Oh my God. I had no idea who he was either, but...
I knew that he was going to be my man. I just knew it. Wow. That's really romantic. It is romantic. And let's not forget about romance. Why not be romantic? Leave a love note. Send a love note. Leave a lipstick on the mirror in the morning for Valentine's Day. For Valentine's Day. And then your cabaret show...
on February 16th will be the first one. - Well, yeah. And I'm just thinking about that. I need a mirror with the big red lipstick that I'm gonna use on stage. - Yes, yes. And you have to go up and give it a smooch. - Exactly, exactly. - What's the most Valentine's Day gift you've ever received? I have to know before I let you go.
Well, you know, I have to say the count was very generous and I always got a piece of jewelry for Valentine's Day. So, you know, and... Is it classless to say how much? Oh, yes. Okay. See, that's what I'm asking. But, you know, another one was simply a love note from a recent boyfriend. That's really cute. Yeah. So, you know, it doesn't really matter what the gift is. It's...
It's what it means to you and what it means coming from him. Yeah. It would depend because the gift might matter. I'll give you a great example. You're going to get that hurt box of chocolates. Now, if a guy you really are into gives you those chocolates, you're going to be like, how cute. And if a guy you don't give a shit about gives you those chocolates, you're going to throw them in the garbage. Yeah.
That is the, that's just the truth. That's the example. Okay. And we'll leave it there. Yeah. Lead with your heart. Box of chocolates. Lead with your heart. And then a little bit of diva, a little bit of damsel. Yes. That was Luann's by the way. Just making that very clear. Luann, thank you so, so much for coming on. Thank you, Sophia. And, um,
And I am manifesting for you love this year, along with myself. I'll be thinking about you. I will too. I'll be thinking about you as well. Thank you so much. Okay, sleuths. Talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.
