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It's Sophia Franklin and you are listening to Sophia with an F, but I think I'm in the mood for a quickie. What do you think? Fuck an armpit. Fuck a bunch of armpits. Fuck her left armpit, then her right armpit, then her, maybe not her friend's armpit, but like go crazy on the armpits.
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Welcome, sleuths. We are cozy, we are comfy, and we are recording from one of my bestie's beds right now. And I kind of want to move in and have her and her boyfriend adopt me and just take care of me forever. Okay?
Okay, but welcome. And let's jump right into this mini SOS Save Our Sleuths. Question stories and advice where you guys tell me what the fuck is happening in your lives and...
Hopefully I have great advice for you. If not, I'm just going to have commentary like what the fuck sleuths. Let's get our shit together. Coming from the queen of not having her shit together. Okay. Question number one. Hey, Sophia, looking for advice on how to make a move on your guy friend. I'm trying to find a smooth way to do this, but also not make it too weird if it doesn't go as planned. Might have to be highly inebriated for this. SOS. Love you. Okay.
These are the moments where I really wish I could say, you don't need alcohol. Absolutely not. You can do this on your own. Those things are true and you absolutely can. I'm just saying sometimes that can help. And I've gone sober. See, this is like where...
My fucking team is like, so you didn't have to go off on a tangent about you not drinking alcohol for two months because it didn't really have anything to do with the question. I'm just pointing it out because situations like this.
do get easier and easier the longer you are without alcohol. But I'm just going to say, yeah, it would make this a little bit easier. Making a move on a guy friend is not something I've done. However, I do think I understand men pretty well. And I would go out on a limb here and say he has thought about jacking off to you more times than I can count.
He's a guy, you're a girl, it's just, it is what it is. And just do it. There's no way to make a move on your guy friend without just making the move. I think the key here is if he like denies you, right? You go in for a little smooch and he kind of like pushes back and is like, whoa, like I just think of you as a friend.
That's where you come in with this mentality that is extremely chill, nonchalant and clear about this isn't going to change anything. I know we are just friends. I just am feeling some type of way. I would like to come and can you help me please as my very good friend? Because that's what friends do. They help each other out.
That's how I would go about it, babe. Just go in for it and it's not like it's not going to be weird after because then that's why at the end of it you're like, hopefully things won't be weird, right? Like this was just like a one time thing. Let's have fun. Even if you secretly are in love with him, you don't. This is not the time to bring it up. Okay, next question.
Is it slutty for me to try to fuck my TA? Not for school related reasons. I'm doing fine in the course. I just think he's really fucking hot. If not, how do I go about letting him know that I'm trying to fuck? Okay, well, you asking me if it's slutty to try to fuck anyone? No.
I mean, unless it's someone that's like married or, you know, damn well, probably 100% off limits. Your TA, no, it's not your teacher. And even then, like, I feel like the lines can be blurred depending on what grade you are and da da da da. But the way to go about letting him know you want to fuck is writing I want to fuck on one of the papers he's grading for you.
And that's about that. Let's just go ahead and move on with that one. No, I'm not. I can't. That would have been really funny to just mic drop right there. But no, I'm not going to do that to you. The only way you're going to be able to fuck this dude is to somehow end up at a not school function or see him outside of the classroom. In my opinion, I would just start being friendly with him and
be like hey me and my friends are going to do this let's meet up or figure out what bar he goes to or ask him his plans for the weekend and be like oh my god like could me and my hot friends stop by so then it's not like you're wanting to fuck him and it's very obvious like it can seem more casual and then you go in for the fuck
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Is it wrong that I've been using my ex-boyfriend's credit card for Uber Eats since we broke up six months ago? He hasn't noticed or said anything to me about it, but I've literally ordered Uber Eats for almost every meal. And there's got to be at least $2,500 worth of charges from me. I don't know if I should feel guilty about it, but he was a total jerk while we were dating. Girl, I'm sorry.
Is the sky blue? Is the grass green? Use his Uber Eats. I mean, unless this guy is supporting his entire family and you know he's broke, that would be the only circumstance where I don't think it's cool in this circumstance. I mean, what's a little $2,500 to feed a girl in need, which is you, and the reason you are in need is because he treated you like such dog shit?
And fuck him and also get that login to all of your friends. No, you do not need to feel bad about that. And when he brings it up, because he will bring it up, just tell him, A, you have no idea what he's talking about. Or B, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea I was logged in. Let me Venmo you. And then just like never send him the money. Sorry. Sorry.
That's why, you know, you got to be careful with who you give your passwords to. If anything, I think will be a learning experience for him to be more careful next time. And that's really just you looking out for his best interest. I mean, you could have spent $25,000. You know how easy a Postmates or DoorDash or whatever it is, Uber Eats bill adds up? I think I answered that question. Okay, next.
I have some super important Mormon info you will love, lol. Someone I know is friends with a bishop from Utah. Delaney and I are literally driving to Utah for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He told my dad there's a new sex loophole people are doing called pitting. It's where the girl puts lotion in her armpit and the guy fucks her in the fucking armpit. I've heard about the poophole loophole.
I've heard about soaking where you basically park your penis in the vagina and then just like let it marinate like a salmon for 20 minutes before, you know, you cook it. This armpit one is next level marinated.
And it's kind like, are you naked while they fuck your armpit? Or like, do you have like a sports bra on? Cause it's just so inappropriate if you were to show your boobs and he's just using your armpit as a vehicle to ejaculate. I don't, I'd rather them do like the back of the knee and like bend my legs backward.
Right? Like, I feel like maybe the armpit would be easier. This is insane. And it's really fucking funny. It's sad because there's this much shame around sex. But hey, if you feel that shameful about sex, I get it. It can take years to kind of overcome that shame. And if fucking an armpit is not considered sexual in your brain, then fucking armpit. Yeah.
Fuck a bunch of armpits. Fuck her left armpit, then her right armpit, then her, maybe not her friend's armpit, but like go crazy on the armpits. Did they say O puts lotion? Huh? At that point, I would just want to stick my dick in a flashlight, but I also don't have a penis.
And you would have to be naked. And if I were a man with a penis. Okay. Pitting. Yeah. Ask a guy on the next date you go on if he's ever heard of pitting and if he'd be into it. And any men listening, please tell me if this would be hot for you. And with that, sleuths, I love you so much. And I fucking love these minis.
I really, really do. And I think we'll be talking next week unless it's Christmas. I don't know. But if you don't get a mini from me, just know they're coming.
