My Biological Father 50:23

It's Sophia Franklin. You are listening to Sophia with an F and the F is for phenomenal. This podcast is rated F. This complete infatuation obsession with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey's relationship makes me sick. I would not trust you if my life depended on it.

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Hi party people, welcome to the show. It's Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y, and it's just gonna be me because it's the goddamn holidays and that's what works. I work. Get it? Like I work, like I'm working right now, but like I also work. Okay, that will never be said again, but hi everybody.

I am sitting on my couch in my apartment. I have studio lighting blinding my eyes and it's taken over my apartment. It looks like a recording studio, but I'm not complaining because usually I would be putting this off. I can kind of get in my head a little bit and

But the thing is, is I would rather do anything else in the entire world than pack. Therefore, that's why I'm here today right now at this moment, 9 p.m. on a Friday night recording because that means I don't have to pack. My flight was scheduled for 6.43 p.m.,

That would have been a few hours ago, but I can't remember the last time I booked a flight and got on said flight. Like I kind of just book them and it's like a bookmark. And it's just, it's like, it tells me like what page I'm on in the book.

But I will absolutely change my flight anywhere from one to three to four times. This time I changed it three times. I changed it to the later flight, which would have been right now. Then I changed it to the six or no, the 7 a.m. flight.

That was cute. That's called denial right there, people, is that I thought I would make that one. And finally, I moved it to a time that I think is feasible considering I haven't packed and considering I'm doing Houston, Atlanta, Vegas, not in that order and not even those cities at all. But I am flying from New York to

to Las Vegas. I was going for, I mean, I am going for my friend's wedding. I also was going to just do like a double whammy and kill two birds with one stone and go to Formula One. And the way that the transfer of the ticket was, the conversation around me going to F1 just started to feel a little like

Not what it was. Basically, I think it was kind of like a atmosphere modeling type thing. You know, like it was like they sold it to me as if we just want, you know, people with influence and there will be a bunch of influencers and they tried to name drop Travis Kelsey would be with this group. And if he is with this group, I will take everything I'm saying right now back and beg for forgiveness. And I think that's

actually more on Travis Kelsey in a little bit, but then it started to be like, okay, well, your plus one actually couldn't come with you. Your ticket is $50,000. You know, this billionaire is like funding the whole thing and, you know, we'll just walk you in separately. And I just, it started to sound like I was going to be paraded around for a certain guy with wealth and

And yeah, I don't that's just that's not my jam. And I think it's a great jam. Like I've heard this guy fucking gambles like it's 1999 and girls leave with anywhere from 50 to 100 K. So, yeah, I'm but I'm passing up on that opportunity because my voice coach.

I just say I love throwing around the term I have a voice coach because then it like puts me in this level of like Adele and Mariah Carey and all those Broadway stars. It's just a voice therapist because my voice started to get completely fucked up as you guys know. She would want me to be taking sips of water throughout this recording even though that definitely was a sip of a cocktail but there's ice cubes in it so I think we're good. So I'm going to Vegas.

Then I will be driving with my bestie and former manager, which is a little bit sad to say Delaney. She's moving on and I'm super happy for her and I want to use that opportunity.

However, Stephanie explained her like leaving Kim K. It was like a conscious uncoupling. We're having a conscious uncoupling and that means I'm a free agent, baby. Come for me. Come at me. Let's fucking go.

I'm going to Vegas and then from Vegas Delaney and I are driving to Utah where I am from, where my family's at to celebrate Thanksgiving. And then right after that I'm leaving to Los Angeles because I have some really dope recordings set up.

Then I will be going from New York to Utah to celebrate Christmas, then to Mexico, then back to Utah, then to Los Angeles to shoot this campaign and do various other things. Also shooting for a show that is going to be really exciting. And then back home.

So I'm gonna be on the airplane quite a bit. You know, that's just the name of the game and it'll be fun and I could talk about traveling for a really long time. The thing I need to do in order to not pack a bag. I hate packing so much and I don't know why.

Anyways, guys, that is... I have so much that I want to talk about. I don't know why I just went on a tangent about that. I am very excited. I know everyone goes like St. Barts for New Year's and Miami for New Year's and da-da-da. And I'm going to be going to Mexico, which is equally as fun and cool. Do we have a hotel booked? No. Do we have flights booked? Yes. Here's the thing about...

my mom and the way I grew up, it's definitely like a fly by the seat of your pants type of deal. And I know that that is not how the saying goes, but whatever it is, I didn't grow up with any structure or

at all and that's obviously you know came on over to my adult life and I'm trying to work on that but like I will always remember this moment I was in middle school and my mom walked into my room and she said we are leaving for Thailand in two days and we're gonna be gone for two weeks

So if you just want to like let your teachers know and good luck, girl, shut my bedroom door. And I was like, OK, I definitely have like a bunch of tests because it's the end of the year. And what the fuck? I can't just go to Thailand in two days for two weeks, mom.

And that's just kind of how my whole life has been. Same shit in high school. I remember she told me, "We are leaving for Europe and we're gonna be leaving in about four to five days." And I remember saying, "I have finals." Like it was right before finals week. She really knows how to plan a trip. And that's just kind of how it's been. And I guess I'm a little bit like that too. So,

You know, if anyone has like a little casita, a little place to stay in Mexico, I know Kim Kardashian stays at whatever that guy's name is who owns... What was the show when the girls like lift the t-shirt up and flash everybody? Oh, Girls Gone Wild. The guy that did that whole show. I know they go see... They go stay at his gorgeous resort. I know Will Smith has a resort out there. So...

If either of you guys are listening or their assistants are listening or anyone who knows how to get to them, please let me know. But yeah, I could totally see my mom doing the type of thing where it's like, why don't we just like land in Mexico and just kind of go from there? Like let's rent a car and just kind of whip around Mexico because it is known to be an extremely safe country and just kind of, I don't know, like get into some trouble.

Like, okay, mom, I don't think Mexico is the place to do that. Like, you want to do that in Arkansas, sure, but whatever. I'm very excited to be recording right now, though. I, as much as I've been working on scheduling and time management, there is just something about working from home. Let me take another sippity-doo-dah. I'm having...

Jesus Christ, you would think I'm drinking moonshine. I made a little cocktail, two shots of Tito's, highly concentrated pear juice, sparkling water, a few ice cubes, mix it around, call it a day. But working from home, I don't understand how people work from home, which is I'm assuming a huge majority of y'all work.

and get things done in a timely manner. Like, I guess, you know, when I worked at Morgan Stanley and I'd have to like clock in and, you know, move my mouse around so that every time my supervisor checked, it looked like I was active. I would take naps. Guys, I would sleep with my laptop on my lap laying in bed and

And just like, like I would just remember to kind of just like move my hand around the mouse pad just so it looked like I was online. And I kind of killed it at that job, which is the craziest part about it. I will have something that needs to get done. Okay, let's take this for an example. I will have to do a recording and I will sit down. I will press record on the cameras, on the mic. Okay.

And then I will find myself loading up the dishwasher and I'll be like, how the fuck did I get here? How is it that I just did all of the dishes and I'm like about to turn the dishwasher on for a cycle, but there's cameras running, the mic is on, but I'm all the way in the kitchen. It's the other day, I'm

had this what what did I have do it was like I needed to come up with like kind of this pitch deck which I obviously have people help me with shit like that but they really wanted my input and I kind of had to like do this presentation and I gave myself like an allotted certain amount of time and I I

Found myself Googling Mila Kunis' under eye bags. Yeah, you heard that. I had a presentation due that I had to actually do in front of a college class. And it was like two hours before the presentation. And I found myself Googling.

in a fucking hole of Mila Kunis images looking for her under eye bags. Why was I there? To make myself feel better about mine. But it's just fucking crazy. Like I need to get like a WeWork or some shit because it's like it's just out of control or just use the amenities in my apartment building. But that would just be fucking crazy.

I also think there's something with Adderall where, and I don't even know if it's the Adderall, honestly, because I think I do this shit off Adderall, but you get really tied up on the specifics of things. Like if I'm doing a load of laundry, and this is not a hypothetical thing, this has happened time after time after time, even though I know the answer, I will look up

What's the difference between the delicate and gentle wash and hand wash cycle on the washing machine?

And I will cross-reference and look at what all these different websites say. And why? Throw your fucking silk blouse in the delicate cycle on cold, on low spin, and you will survive. I just, I get really OCD. And when I say OCD, once again, because I don't want to come like I'm crazy.

rising mental illness that was totally stolen from the Phantom of the Opera by the way but I get OCD about things and I just like I want to know every fucking aspect every angle and just be ready for whatever the goddamn washing machine could throw my way

But we are working on it and we're changing and I am ready to talk about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. How about that for a little switcheroo?

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Really, it like pains me to admit that. But I was like, I think I heard one song or I saw one music video, her music video for whatever. It doesn't matter. She came out with one music video that was pretty goddamn corny.

And I think I just like, I just something about Taylor Swift. It didn't sit well with me. And you know what I think it is, is that every single bitch loves her. And so I just assume her music won't be great. I don't know why I think it's fucking dumb, but.

I heard Karma for the first time and was horrified. I was like, there's no way this is like an actual song that people actually listen to. And I'll never forget it. I was like on this party bus coming home from this like event and my friend John played it and every single bitch in the party bus was like,

is my boyfriend like screaming and I didn't get it and then it just it creeps up on you and it gets deep I fucking love the entire Taylor Swift album and I am obsessed with her and I'm pissed that I didn't realize the obsession until after the heiress tour you know ran through the United States

Maybe she'll be performing in Mexico and I'm there. That's a small chance, but I fucking love her and I root for her. And I, I like that she is always in a new relationship. I think it's hot. I think it's dope. Taylor Swift sexually, I would, I would like to fuck Taylor Swift. I think there's something there.

She doesn't scream sex appeal right away. It's unassuming, but I see it. And I just know she's a freak in bed and I like that. Travis Kelsey. I don't even need to think he's good in bed. I know he is because we have a little bit of history.

Just kidding. I've never hooked up with an athlete. You guys know that. But I have, I actually have one friend that did hook up with him and said he fucking laid down the law. Like said it was the best sex of her life. So everything that we think Travis Kelsey would be, he is. However, this complete...

infatuation obsession with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey's relationship makes me sick. It makes me upset. It doesn't make me sick. I don't want to sound that drama, but I just, I'm, I don't like it. And I'm going to tell you why.

I know I'm one of fucking 10 people who think that. I mean, everyone is so obsessed with them. Power couple, yes. Good looking couple, yes. Both successful in their own right, yes. Travis not as much as Taylor Swift, just have to say that, but like still, yes, on paper, it looks good. It looks like a fairy tale. I'm happy for them. Taylor looks happy. However,

I do not stan, S-T-A-N, the relationship. I don't support it. I'm only here for it if Taylor Swift is using it for what it is, good sex and a good time. At the end of the day, Travis Kelsey is, let me just break it down for you, drop dead gorgeous, wealthy, an athlete, and a football athlete.

Like there are certain sports that I can make excuses for. Like if you are a professional polo player, actually fucking that one polo player from Argentina and he like was the model for every single perfume and Gucci and all the above. Maybe not even polo. Like I can't think of one sport. Okay, cricket. Cricket.

And then what's the one where you like go down in the bobsled bobsled bobsledding? Those those guys like if you play cricket or if you are a bobsledder and you're really good at it, I might trust you. Travis Kelsey, I would not trust you if my life depended on it.

I would not trust you in a million fucking years if you made a blood oath, if you signed a contract, if we got married, if you put a ring on it. I do not trust him and therefore I don't like him for Taylor and I'm kind of over everyone glamorizing their relationship. I think it's cute. I think it's fun. I hope that's all it is because...

Taylor Swift deserves a king and a king who is not going to be shady to her. I know some of you are like, not all guys are bad. Like, Sophia, you can't think like that. Of course, of course, not all men are bad, but all football players are. I love her.

these generalized statements. I just fucking love making them. And I kind of I stand by that. I don't think he's good for her in the long run. And I'll be the first to say it. And I don't care if y'all come jumping down my throat, Swifties. But really, you should be thanking me for looking out for your girl. So Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey, congrats on the sex.

not on the relationship and now we can move on to one other thing that's like a little bit pop culture ish but it's old news but knowing me i just heard about it from my assistant who was over here the other day shout out maddie and she was telling me about how justin bieber the day before he

He was to get married to Haley Baldwin. Okay? So, supposedly Justin Bieber sent Selena Gomez a text the day before he was marrying Haley. And the text says something like, I'll always love you or like you'll always be in my heart or like some shit like that. And again, I know this is old news, but I was...

I was horrified. Is that like real? I mean, none of us are going to know it's real, but I'm going to go ahead and say it's real. I could totally see him doing that. I just think that Justin is a little bit of a, hmm, how do I say this without sounding like a complete and total cunt? He scares me a little bit. I think he's very talented, very good looking, and

Probably a lot of fun. Probably get some laughs.

don't really know if he treats women how I like to be treated my standards are pretty fucking high though lol that was a lie I've literally dated men who have treated me like complete dog shit and told me to stop being so fucking crazy when they're literally sleeping with the girl they told me to not be crazy over but

I just don't really think he's maybe the best guy in term. I just don't think he's like adult enough. I, again, I don't think guys are ready until they're 35 or older, but I guess Selena Gomez never responded to the text. And you know what that is? That is a straight up girl's girl.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I love the fucking holidays. I do want to be for real and I'm going to get in my feels a little bit. I think this Thanksgiving will be the first Thanksgiving in my life that's a little bit difficult.

My grandma who was my second mom, okay? Like being raised by a single mom who had to work and shit. I lived at my grandma's house and by lived I mean literally my mother and I lived in my grandma's basement for like the first two years of my life. My grandma would watch me all the time. I'm one of the oldest out of all of her grandkids and

And we just have an extremely, extremely close relationship and we always have. And she's not doing great at all. And I have never experienced someone very close to me going through an illness or aging. I mean, I've had a great grandma pass away, right?

And that was sad, but I was very little. I really have not experienced it. And it's difficult to watch. Like, I don't know if you guys have ever seen the movie Anastasia, the Disney movie. It's phenomenal. I would say it's right up there with Mulan. And what's my other favorite Disney? I mean, Lion King is like crazy, incredible. But Mulan, I think will always be...

My favorite, Anastasia, I'm going to say is like a tie. And that movie was like me and my grandma's favorite movie in the whole world. And we watch it all the time. And there is this like dynamic between the grandma and Anastasia that's really special. And...

If you guys have seen the movie, you'll know what I'm talking about. The Together in Paris and the music box that her grandma gets her. And that was like a thing my grandma and I would say to each other all the time. And for the first time ever, I was on the phone with her and I brought it up. And my mom had told me like she's getting pretty bad.

I don't know if it's dementia. I don't know if it's Alzheimer's. I know Alzheimer's does run in our family. Me just drinking alcohol, continuing to vape, which I know I said I would quit and I am going to touch on that. And I did try, but just hold up.

I should probably take a little bit better care of myself. I'm pretty sure the things I'm doing are not great for the old Alzheimer's. But my mom told me she was getting bad. I have not been in Utah to see it. And I'm so busy all the fucking time Googling Mila Kunis' under eye bags and getting down to the details of how a washing machine works.

that I haven't stayed in touch with her as much. And I was on the phone with her the other day and I brought up the together in Paris thing and she had no clue what I was talking about. And she asked me like seven times in a row, like where I was or when I was going to see her. And I had to repeatedly tell her. And it was, it's sad. Like it broke my heart.

And I've been removed from it because I'm not home. But I know when I go home for Thanksgiving, it's going to be like really difficult to see. And yeah. And also my entire family hates each other right now. That's like a fun little side note. Happy holidays to you. I'm like the fucking the Grinch over here. I still love the holidays, but...

Yeah, my- there's six brothers and sisters and they all are just not getting along and you would think they would fucking get their shit together because my grandma is not doing great, but whatever. So Thanksgiving isn't gonna be like what it used to be and that's okay. I guess this- this is the part where I'm supposed to have grandkids and kind of like add to the family. Maybe next year, okay?

So, yeah, Thanksgiving, but I'm going to make the most of it. And it's it's the circle of life. Speaking of the Lion King, it is what it is. And I just want to do whatever I can to make her feel better. And my mom has basically taken care of her by herself. But I just think that's like important to point out with the holidays, you know, like my dad, not my biological dad.

which there's like a little bit of an update and I was not even planning on talking about this but now I'm in the mood my biological father his name is Joaquin shout out I bet he's watching this JK my history with him there is no history um

He was not a part of my life when I was in middle school. My mom gave me the option to meet him. He flew from Spain to Utah. I don't even know I ever told this story. He moved from he didn't move. Excuse me. He did not fucking move. I can tell you that he came to visit me. Excuse me. My dad.

I love how I'm saying visit, move. Like, is this like my subconscious speaking? No, he flew from Spain where he lives to Utah to meet me for the first time. And it was whatever. It was like emotional. It was like kind of weird meeting someone that is half your DNA for the first time.

And then I think a few years later, oh yeah, remember that really fun last minute Euro trip my mom planned for me in high school, literally during finals? I met up with him then. And then when I got home from that trip, he never reached out again and never spoke to me again. So...

I know I like I feel like I've been talking about daddy issues a lot lately and I really don't mean to. And once again, I'm going to laugh about it. Ha ha ha ha ha. My dad fucking ghosting me. I think that shit is funny. But there I think there's a little something to not having your father be a part of your life.

on his own accord, but then meeting you once and then meeting you twice and still being like, nah, I'm good. You know? I'm sure that's like had its effect or whatever. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home Yes, cool! or attending one live...

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She got here and we were having a few cocktails and hanging out in my apartment. And just like super cash, Lola says, oh, I spoke to Joaquin, your father, been meaning to tell you about it. I have not spoken to this man, heard from this man since high school. Okay. Okay.

I didn't even know, like there's been no communication for 15 years with this man, aka biological dad, aka sperm donor. And my mom just all willy nilly brings it up to me. She later said like, I was waiting to tell you in person and I didn't want to tell you over the phone and you're always stressed and Googling, you're like coonist. But I was like a little bit taken aback.

And then it really escalated because my mom dropped a few bombs on me. Like, so yeah, your family history in terms of health, in terms of physical health and mental illness is actually very different from what I've told you your whole life. And let me just tell you a little something about how that works.

You know, like when you go see a therapist or a doctor and you have to fill out these forms and they ask you for your family history because a lot of illness, both physical and mental, can be hereditary or genetic. Yeah, those are kind of important things to know. And I guess I've just been filling out the form wrong this whole time.

I am 31. I can't wait to go back to my doctor and be like, yeah, so none of that happened, but we actually have these issues. And I can get into what those are. Thank God it was not. I've like always had this thing where I don't actually know I'm going to get into it because I'm so fucking scared of talking about mental illness in a way that will rub someone the wrong way. But as I just say, fuck it, I'm just going to talk about it.

Basically, I just my mom just threw some like crazy things my way. Like my grandpa did not die of cirrhosis. He did not die from alcoholism. He died from a cerebral tumor or cerebral stroke or some shit.

Joaquin in fact does suffer from mental illness primarily severe severe anxiety okay he was also addicted to heroin did not know that is like is if your dad is hooked on something when you're consummated does that is that like the same as like a crack baby like am I like a little heroin baby yeah

If anything, I think that's like a testament to how strong I am. Like if his sperm was all doped up on heroin to meet up with my mom's egg and create me and I came out like I did, I fuck, I must be one strong ass bitch, you know?

Like doctors should study me in a lab. Like I am a heroin baby that turned out just fucking fine. I don't think it works that way. But I think the cherry on top of that whole thing was that he texted my mom and said, I feel so embarrassed for everything and by everything he meant me.

And my mom was like, okay. My mom, he has three kids, by the way. One of them, which is close to my age. They live in Spain. My mom asked him if his kids know about me. He said yes. I was like, well, do they know about the podcast? So...

sorry I'm sorry if your dad fucking rejects you like as a fetus and then again in middle school and then again in high school like you like you low-key want to flex on a guy you know I'm like did you send him a fucking clip maybe we'll send him this one hi dad but the kids do know about me and I

He said he was embarrassed and he said that he wanted to call my mom and talk about it and said that he would love for my mom and I to visit Spain so he could treat us like queens.

Like baby boy, I don't I treat myself like a queen and I am a queen and I don't really need your help in that department. But then he said that he was going to call my mom and never followed up. And there you have it. Bada boom, bada bang. That's all I needed to know. But it was it was a fun little, you know, thing to tell me.

Was not planning on sharing that one for the holidays, but since we're just being all holly jolly Christmas over here. But you know what's one thing I actually do love about Thanksgiving? I do love the shopping.

the Cyber Monday or what is it? Black Friday, Cyber Monday and getting like all those crazy ass deals that I absolutely adore. Because what I do is you have all the Thanksgiving leftovers. This is like my new thing and it just, it gets my dick hard. That was not cute or ladylike at all. It gets my pussy wet. Just kidding. But I...

to make myself like a little Thanksgiving leftover sandwich and like one of those little Hawaiian rolls and I'll throw the cranberry and I'll even throw mashed potatoes in there and the turkey and the fucking stuffing.

And I'll make myself a little plate and then I'll pour myself like a fat ass mimosa. And I will just open up my laptop and I will get to scrolling and browsing and getting loose and getting, I mean, shopping is like a high for me. And if I'm doing it,

on a discount or at a good rate or a good deal, then it's like, there's nothing that makes me happier, which is sad, but it's, but it's amazing. And then you can also like, I'm obviously shopping for myself and then, you know, you can get the shopping out of the way for your family and friends and what have you, which I was, I swear to God,

the girl up until this year. That hasn't even happened yet, but I'm saying it now so you guys can hold me accountable. I was the bitch that would Christmas Day, look up a present, print the receipt off, stuff it in a card,

wrap it in a bow hand it around and be like it's on its way merry Christmas like that's not that's no like that's just it's not as fun like people want to unwrap shit and so I'm gonna make sure I do that this year and let me just say this

A lot of people don't have money right now. Times are tough right now. So if you're listening to this being like you dumb bitch talking about shopping and getting all these good deals and scrolling when you're drunk off of a fucking watered down mimosa, that's why I think you should take advantage of this shit. I do...

want to talk about like what specific presence but before I do I'm going to tell you something that I wish I would have known a long time ago because I regret it now if you are dating a guy

Do not spend money on this man's present. If you are getting presents for the whole fam, you can spend a little on your mom, on your brother, on your sister, on your dad. But like, let's be real.

families that's usually quite a bit of people if your family's anything like mine which it's probably not because my grandparents are mormon and decided to have six children and then out of those six children a bunch of them decided to have like another six so i'm one of like 30 cousins but it can be a lot and looking back i remember

Thinking how much I spent on the gift was basically how good or how special or how much that person would like the gift that I got them. And it's such bullshit. It doesn't translate that way, especially with boyfriends. Even if you end up marrying this guy, guys, they just they operate a little bit differently, right?

They just do. They don't really want you. They don't even want you spending a shit ton of money on them because they're already so much in their own head freaking out about the dollar amount that they're spending on you and hoping that it's enough money because unfortunately, women do kind of give a shit about that.

Type of thing. Some women. Disgusting, greedy, gold digging women like me. So, but guys like really don't care. If you get him jeans, jeans,

and they're not designer and you know, but they fit fucking dope and they're cool. Even if they're like off eBay, like secondhand shit, like they do not care. So do not spend a ton of money because you just really like this guy or like it's like kind of those beginning stages and you're like, oh my God, I need to be the bitch that gets in those perfect present. That's fine. Expensive present does not equal great present or impressive present. And

And then as far as family goes, I used to like really put time and effort into it. And I'm not saying like I regret doing that, but like then I would get my present from my uncle or my aunt and it would be a box of chocolates. It's like,

This is what it is. This is actually really what it comes down to. I would spend a shit ton of money around the holidays that did not need to be spent. And I wish it would have gone into savings.

And don't get caught up in like holiday cheer. And the Christmas has turned into like a very commercial, greedy, money grubbing. Like, oh my God. I remember being a kid. Like, what did you get for Christmas? And like you guys like all compare like what the fuck you got. That shit is disgusting. Okay.

But that's like how we were raised. And so I think people feel all this pressure to spend so much money. Don't do it, especially if you don't have the funds. Don't do it. But if you're going to do it, it's not like you can't just show up with nothing, right? Like people are expecting something wrapped up in a bow. And I'm not saying to not do it. Just do it.

tactfully. And this is how I honestly think you guys should go about it. And I stand by this 100%. I'm gonna sit down at the Thanksgiving dinner table across from my aunt who I love to death, who also tried to fuck my ex-boyfriend a few Thanksgivings ago. Just me, no one else. Okay, that is a true story. I don't need to be spending like hundreds of dollars on this particular aunt of mine. You know what I'm saying?

But you got to get them something. And if you're going to get them something because you love them and they are your family, even though they are savages, but you are related to them, get a good deal. Make sure you're getting a good deal. Take advantage of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. And if you're into it, like if it gives you a thrill to be sitting, waiting in line at 5 a.m. to work,

you know, punch a fellow shopper in the face to get the 80 inch TV that's on sale and, you know, end up on the news like, OK, that's cool. I mean, have fun in the electronics section. You know where I'll be. I will be curled up on the couch, laptop, mimosa, leftover Thanksgiving dinner, sandwash,

and maybe some orange cinnamon rolls, which are way better than regular cinnamon rolls. I love the orange icing. But you should not be feeling bad spending more money than you need to. And not only that, but there's another little hack. Selling a little or a lot.

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So I hope you guys have an amazing Thanksgiving. And if you don't and there's family drama or you don't have money or the holidays are just sad for you, no, you are not alone. And that's why I kind of shared my shit and, um,

Just take advantage of being able to be lazy as shit and not feel bad about it because nothing is expected of you. I mean, I don't know if there's a greater feeling than that. And with that, Sleuths, I will talk to you guys next week.