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It's Sophia Franklin. You are listening to Sophia with an F and the F is for phenomenal. This podcast is rated F. I always say like, no matter how many no's you get along the way, like you never give up. So it's like, that's the mentality you have to have in order to break through whatever career it may be to get to that next level.
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Hi, everyone. Welcome to Sophia with an F. Before I jump into this episode, I do want to tell you guys to subscribe. Ella, thank you so much for joining me, guys. I have Ella Halikas. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually Gabriella Athena Halikas. Full name. That's it, baby. Gorgeous name. You're Greek. Yes. Okay. Yes. Yes. How Greek are we talking? Like, were you born there?
Your parents? So, 100% Greek, but wasn't born there. It was more of, like, another generation. So, like, my grandparents, Yaya and Papu or whatever, were born there. Okay. And then my parents were born in the States. But for some reason, they're both 100, which makes me 100. Some people might argue and be like, you're a fraud because you weren't born there. But, shit. Wait, both of your parents are 100? Yeah. Like, how old are they really? Like, like...
No, I know. I need to like talk to them about this because I'm like, what do you mean we're 100%? But also. Oh my God. I thought you were saying they were 100 years old. No, I'm dead. No, 100% Greek.
I'm like, what do you mean your parents are 100? - You're like, you are lying. - Am I crazy or did it sound like that for one second? - Wait, that is so, I was like, wait, how old are they? Well, they, let me actually think. - I like, your parents are 100. - Wait, that is so funny. No, 100% Greek, baby. - You know what? - I'm dead. - These are two women right here that we are smart on top of our looks, right? - We are, right. Like we have the beauty in the brains. We just have slip ups, like let it happen.
Fuck you dead. That was a slip up that would happen to anyone. 100%. That was fair. Right? 100. 100. 100. Okay, I'm done with you. We're like two minutes in. We're like, so 100 years old. God. Okay. That is so fucking funny. But they're not 100. They're kicking around. They're kicking around. They're walking. Yes. Still walking. Fully functioning. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. I'm so glad. Glad we cleared that up.
This has been like the most entertaining first four minutes ever of anything. Iconic. Cheers. Cheers. Ella and I are drinking some hard seltzers, but this is my first one, and I'm already acting a little bit loosey. Right. We're a little crazy already. God knows what we're going to be doing in 20 minutes from now. I'm nervous for us.
Let's keep drinking. Yeah. Let's absolutely do it and see where it fucking goes. Okay. So Ella, I was looking into your story. By the way, you have a Wikipedia page, which I'm sure you knew. I just recently saw that. I didn't even know that. That's like when you know that you have fucking made it and you're on a different level. I don't have one. Well, who do we need to call? I don't know. I'm making the call for you. Let's go. Oh, I thought you were going to give me some insight or like I submitted myself to Wikipedia. No, I don't.
Could you imagine? I was like, I have an email ready for you. No, but I actually am curious how that works out. I mean, regardless. We're manifesting this. We're manifesting. We're manifesting that. Sophia Franklin, Wikipedia, and your Wikipedia picture from what I saw, gorgeous. Thank you. Whoever submitted your thing is obsessed with you. They were on my side. They were on my side. They absolutely were. Thank you so much. So I looked you up and model.
and body rights activist yes and tiktoker yeah you're blowing up everywhere everywhere how do you feel when and it said plus size model in front of the model thing yeah tell me how you feel about that
So it's interesting because when I first got started, I was, I think I was a little bit like, I don't want to be classified into any kind of box, honestly. And I still feel like I don't want to be in a box. People are always like, what's the right terminology? Is it plus size? Is it curve? Like,
And that's the thing is like, there's no really right answer. Like it's kind of like however you want to put it. Also the industry, it's interesting. It's like if you're over a size 10, you're plus size. Some say if you're over a size eight, you're plus size. And then some say you're over a size 16, then you're plus. So it's like, there's not even a right terminology. I honestly just say I'm a curve model because I don't necessarily feel as if I am a plus size model because I can still shop up to an XL. So I think it's like once you go over the standard...
clothing sizes in stores is when it's more of like a plus category. Although there's some like shops or stores that I will have to wear like a double XL because it runs smaller, whatever it is. So there's not really like a right answer to that. It's more so just like whatever people are feeling like calling me. But yeah, I would say curve model for myself, but I'm not offended by whoever wants to call me whatever. Right. Yeah. Curve model. I love that. Yeah. Curve model. Yeah.
Also though, do you ever feel like I'm just a model? Like just call me a model? Yeah, 100%. That's something that I've had to like struggle or like battle with in a little bit. Because it's like I say that why do we always have to overcompensate? Like I should be a model and exist in that category. But you always have to like overcompensate it. Or like when I meet someone at a bar and they're like, what do you do? I'm like a model. The first thing they do is look at me up and down. I'm like, for what? And I'm like, here we go. Then if I say curve model or plus size model, they're like, oh, it all makes sense. Like, oh, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Like, you have a pretty face. And I'm like, wait, you're missing the point. Like, can I just exist in the term model? Right. So that is annoying for sure. It is annoying. Yeah. Well, first of all, congrats on Sports Illustrated. You're blowing up everywhere. Sports Illustrated, was that last year or two years ago? Two years ago. 2021. Okay. Yeah. That is so fucking sick. It was really sick.
Thank you. And was it like Sports Illustrated Rookie or what was it exactly? So basically I did this swim search and I had tried out for three years prior to that. So it was definitely a grind. Three years? Yeah, like consistently, like getting publicly rejected, trying out again, publicly rejected, trying out again.
I fucking love you. You know, but you just have to. Like if you want something, like you literally have to go for it. And so I finally did. And then I made top 13 finalists is kind of like my term. I was like the proper term for the search. But I was in the magazine, which was really cool. And I had like a full page, full spread. So like that was really sick.
That's incredible. Yeah. And that was just like very pivotal, I think, in my career. And I love to like take a win like that and run with it and like see what else I can do with it and try and make it, you know, bigger. And it really did help my career for sure. So I'd love to like work with them again and whatever. But that was a dream. Baby, baby, you have ran with it. Baby, we ran. You took that. We sprinted. We have been sprinting. We've been sprinting with that. I'm like thinking.
Thank you. That's my title now. It'll be like 20 years ago. And I'm like, yeah, I'm a specialist. As you should on your tombstone. On the, yeah. I mean, it's on your Wikipedia. Literally. Wikipedia knows. Come on. Jesus.
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So it's not tried out. What's the term to like get into sports? I think auditioned. Yeah. In 2016. Yeah. Well, let me think actually back. No, it was more 2018 was my first year. Oh, 2018. 2018. I was living in Hawaii, went to school there, wasn't even a model, had no experience. And I was like, fuck it. I want to be a model.
That's when I tried out. Didn't get it. Tried out again 2019. Didn't get it. Went to Miami. Tried out in person. Didn't get it. I love this. And then tried out again 2020. I was like, let's go. Pandemic year.
You're like, let's just like resilient as fuck. Let's just keep going. Just keep going. Keep swimming. That's really incredible. So you, you're welcome. You are not modeling. And then 2018. Yeah. What shifted where you were like, you know what? I'm a fucking model. Yeah. Let's fucking go. Okay. So this is funny. Well, I could take it a few different ways, but I'm
I just love taking photos like my whole life always took photos and then I got curvier and I was like you can't be a model you don't look like a model then I saw plus size models blowing up Ashley Graham all these role models that I look up to it's a whole market now for it and I was like wait maybe I could do that and I would take photos on the beach like for Instagram just like I had no followers at the time but it was just like fun taking photos in Hawaii and everyone's like wait how'd you do that like how'd you just do that with your face like you almost just like turn a switch when you see a camera and
And I'm like, okay. It's almost like this, like, I felt like I had it, like, within me. And so when I kept doing it, my friends were like, you have to do it. And they honestly pushed me to get into it. And then I got fired from a restaurant job because I was late too many times, which, like, still applies. I'm, like, a little lady, like, a little tardy sometimes. But, like...
- It's okay, we're working on it. - Years later. - Same, same. - No, relatable, come on. - I was literally crying about it earlier today when I almost missed my flight and I was like-- - So you get me. - I'm like, I don't wanna continue living this life-- - No, it's so hard. - Where I'm always late and stressed about being late-- - It's a problem. - When it's fully in my control. - So what do we do about it? - I don't know. - I don't know either.
- Be on time, LOL. - LOL. - That's what people listening think, just be on time. It doesn't work like that. - It doesn't work that way. Time doesn't work in my brain. - No, time is an illusion. - Time is an illusion, it doesn't make sense. - It doesn't make sense, it doesn't exist. - What day is it? What time is it? I don't know. - I don't either. - We have places to be, I don't know.
We need someone to manage this. Like, how do we do this? It's a problem. Like, I thought. Significantly worse. Right? I thought you get older. You learn how to manage your time a little bit better. And it's just getting way, way worse. Right. And it's causing a lot of friction. A lot of stress. Yes. In my relationships. In my life. Friendships. Work. Work. Problem. Problem.
- Right? - We gotta figure it out. - I look unprofessional. - But you're like not trying to be. - No. - But when you show up, you are professional. - No, I'm frantic every time I- - But people are already mad at you. Oh my God, it's such a problem. Like, ugh. You gotta figure something out. - I just want everyone to know who's listening. - Listen up. - Anyone who's about to meet me, I might be late. - It's gonna happen. - I will be late, fact. - And you're still gonna have to either A, love me, or B, like this won't work. That's a possibility.
Okay, I wanna ask you this. - Yes. - So you have something to go to. - Yes. - And you look at your phone and realize you're gonna be on time for it. - Interesting. - Do you at that point call the Uber, get in the car, make it on time? - Absolutely not. - No. - Absolutely not. If I have time, this is weird. Like if I'm early, this is odd.
And then, yeah, no, I somehow find a reason to still be late. That is what I'm saying. It's a problem. Are we addicted to the drama? Are we addicted? That's another take. Right? Addicted to the chaos. I think there's like an element. Uh-huh. Oh, we can get deep on this. We might talk off cameras about this because we can get deep about this. It's true. Okay, you get me. I like hit something in me.
Well, I started thinking addicted to the chaos, like addicted to chaos in relationships. Totally. Childhood. That shit stems from childhood for sure. I'm calling my mom after this and I'm going to be like, why am I late all the time, mom? I had an eye-opening conversation. We had a groundbreaking moment. This stems from childhood. And I'm learning some shit, mom. Yep.
It's your fault. Why don't you explain? Like, why don't you let me know? Let's unravel it. Okay. So you moved to Hawaii. Yes. And...
Also, by the way, when I say and all of a sudden you were like, I want to be a model. Yeah. I hope that does not come off condescending at all. No. It's just when I think model, I think either complete nepotism or I think someone that is six feet. Right. Like the epitome. And, you know. Yeah. And they really they were like, well, you know, this fits. That's what I have. Yeah. Like those are the two things that I have in my brain. A hundred percent. Yeah.
That's why it's like I'm trying to change the industry. As you should. Trying to change it up. And the industry isn't even like that really anymore. Yeah, it's changing. It's for sure changing. But it's still to reach a certain level, to break through a certain door. A lot of the doors that I have opened have been from myself. It hasn't been from an agent. It hasn't been from a relationship, a famous parent.
money in my life like it wasn't that it was like consistency it was resilience it was knocking on the door until they finally opened well also you're gorgeous you're beautiful gorgeous thank you but it's like I'm not ever gonna be the prettiest in the room I won't ever be the skinniest in the room I won't ever be whatever but it's like having that persistence and like consistent energy but also showing up with like positive energy like not taking shit from no one I always say like no matter how many no's you get along the way like you never give up so it's like
That's the mentality you have to have in order to break through whatever career it may be to get to that next level.
And it was in alignment with finding myself and finding my confidence. Thank you. Like that's not something that you can just like, I mean, this industry will really get you insecure. Like this will make you having yourself compared to everyone. Like it's not an easy industry and it's very superficial and it's literally quite literally like how you look down to your measurements. So if you aren't confident, it can break you. And I think I wouldn't have gone into this, you know, let's say five years ago when I was insecure. Yeah.
So it's like I had a whole shift in my confidence, which I now call myself CEO of confidence. Like that was not an overnight shift. Right. That takes time. And I think once you find that shift, it's almost like a light switch that hits and the confidence you just run with it. So how do you find that shift? Yeah, I find that shift, honestly, from just like looking within. And that sounds so cliche, but it's like.
Once you find like different triggers that are hitting you or different things that like you're comparing yourself to it's almost like it's an internal thing. So it's like I feel like I wasn't confident with who I was as a person like in its entire being that once I found that confidence from within it shined from without. So no matter how much like bigger I got or like weight I gained since high school it doesn't correlate into my confidence because that confidence was not external. Right.
Yes. You know, and that's hard. Like it's not easy. Like so once you know that that's one thing, but it's another to act on it and soul search with it and figure out those deep stuff, you know, and it's not an overnight thing. It really was down to just feeling tired of being tired. And I talk about this a lot with just being so fed up with being insecure, having food and the way you look at your body, run your everyday life and mental thoughts. Like as a woman, we can all relate to that.
And it's so draining. And I think people, once you realize like I'm actually not giving into this any longer.
you have nowhere else to go but up, you know? Yeah. So once you're like, all right, let's shift this. Like, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of this mentality. Like, I can't wear the bikini or I can't wear those shorts until I lose weight. I can't wear the tank tops because my arms are big. Like, once you stop having those negative thoughts and you're like, I just want to love myself and be happy with where I'm at right now, your body can fluctuate and like, you still will be happy. You still will be confident because it's not an external thing. Right. You know what I mean? Yes. I totally understand that. I think
For me, I understand it on a different level. I am turning 31 in less than two months. - You look 24. This is crazy. You literally look like, but in a good way. Like you look so young and youthful. It's like insane. - Thank you. - Not like 31 is not old. It's like you look really young. - Thank you so much. But that's the thing is you literally told me that and I got wet again. - I love that, she's horny. Ding, ding, ding.
are like, what is this show? What are you talking about? No, but I got excited, right? Like that made me happy. And then I thought about what you had said beforehand, which is if I'm getting excited because you're telling me I don't look my age and I look younger, that's not where I should be getting my validation though, right? Right. I should take it as like, oh, that's really sweet. That's amazing. Totally. But
Me feeling confident and, you know, should come from within. Totally. Because when you're seeking it externally and you're seeking it within a guy or seeking it with the jean size that you wear, like you'll never be happy because there will always be better. There will always be someone prettier, always someone funnier, always. So it's like so if you're chasing that, like you will never be happy or content. So it actually has to come from within.
or like that has like a time limit. Like that will end if it comes from a validation of a guy or whatever it may be. - A hundred percent. - Yeah. - Which is so crazy to think about the 14 year olds now. - Oh my God. - Look 24. - Yeah. It's insane. - I've been hanging out with my brother. He's been staying with me in New York. - Yeah. - Well, we're in Los Angeles, but he was staying with me. I just got to LA today.
Lucas was staying with me for three weeks almost. He's 19. And he was showing me the girls that like he went to school with and is dating and blah, blah, blah. And they're all, you know, 18, 19 year old girls and have full plastic surgery and all these things. Which,
I don't hate on plastic surgery. No, for sure. But I'm just thinking about me when I was 18. Yeah. Did you have anything done at 18 or no? No. No. But did I want to? Probably. Like, and it's interesting because I don't now. I don't want anything done now. I'm not against anything. But it's like, like,
That's where it comes with those insecurities feeling like you need to change. You're always looking for something to fix. You're always looking for something to change because no one's perfect. There's always gonna be flaws like that you find within yourself. But it's like, yeah, it's like they're chasing that idea of perfection. And especially with social media. It's like if I had TikTok back in the day, I'd be screwed. I'd be screwed. I would be so fucked. I'd hate myself. Oh my God. I already hated myself when I was 18. Yeah. I can't even imagine. Can you imagine? Nope.
gives me nightmares it's terrifying terrifying and it's so like they all look so much older everyone is like filters makeups like surgery extensions this i'm like what like when like i used to look like a kid kid like i was wearing like exactly outfits like i was not cute i was not cute thank you it's crazy it's like a such a different generation i know but i worry for them i do too and something i mean when you were saying the
the someone's always going to be prettier. And yeah, there's no such thing as perfectionism. Yeah. I think young adults now they're like, no, I can look prettier. Yeah. I can like, you know, join the competition. Let me just do this and this and this and this. Yeah. Which is crazy. Well, and it's like when you're looking on Instagram, you're literally fighting to look like someone that doesn't even look like them. Like that shit's photoshopped. That's
That's not even who they look like. I know. So you're trying to change yourself to be them, but they don't even look like them. It's, like, the most toxic shit ever. Didn't they just ban something in Europe somewhere? Yeah. It was somewhere, like, in another country where you had to, like, say if you're using a filter or, like, editing or something, which, like, I could kind of see being, like, worth it for the young generation mainly. Like, you know, I just – I don't know. I completely agree with that.
Because even like younger kids or like my little cousins are like, oh my God, she's so perfect. I'm like, wait, that is so photoshopped. You can literally see that the door is like, but they like don't even see those things. And like the younger they are, like they're more a little bit like naive to it. So they're like, no, like she's so stunning and perfect. I'm like, okay, first of all, that's hair extensions. That's plastic surgery. That's a new nose. That's, you know, a lot of money. That's it's like,
People don't see that. And I'm like, damn. You know who else doesn't see it? Me. Because I'm about to turn 31. Well, at least you're not 100 like my parents, so. Done. But I swear to God, I'm just as susceptible to that shit as a fucking 18-year-old. No, easily. I mean, I am too. Like, I say, like, I'm like, I want to get fazed by it. But, like, there's times where I'm like, damn. Like, it is hard to, yeah, it is hard overall. And I think it can be toxic in itself, so. Yeah.
Let's get rid of all social media. Get burn it. Burn it to the fucking ground. Burn phones. Right. You can only have a phone when you're 50 maybe. Literally. That's fair. I think that's fair. I don't know. Ask your parents. Ask your parents. They've been around. They've been around a long time. They have a ton of experience. I'll ask them. We'll ask them. Because they definitely were alive when there was no phone.
Right. Well, it's just crazy because, like, I had a phone before my dad. Like, that's actually embarrassing. Like, my parents got divorced and they're like, you need a phone to contact us. I was like, dad, you don't have a phone. Like, really? Swear. Didn't even have a phone. I had a razor before his ass had a phone. Like, what? Like, yeah, they are 100, actually. So, what did, like, did you have to get a pager for your dad? Well, no. I was like, dad, like, I need to contact you. Like, I can't just call mom. Like, you need to. And he's like, no, I know. Like, he just didn't care. I'm like, this is crazy. He's like, I have my emails. I'm like, what?
At that point, I'm like, get a phone. I love how you getting a phone was the reason your dad got a phone. Yeah. That is, that's like so your personality. And I fucking love that. Like, let me lead this family. Let me be the leader. I'll get the phone first. You're leading the family and I'm leading mine. Exactly. Period. You guys just heard it. Heard it here first.
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So Ella, we are going to move on a little bit for modeling. Although I do want to ask one question about it that I found extremely interesting is you mentioned that you kind of feel like modeling is going back to this heroin chic look and you hate that.
Has that just always been there? Or do you think, you know, there was a certain type of model that was progressing and now we're taking, you know, 100 steps back? Yeah.
I think it's just trends. Like a lot of the media linked with the fashion industry, linked with this whole modeling industry. It's like it's all based around trends, which really sucks. But at one point it's like it's in to have a bigger butt and have the hips. And so then brands are wanting that because that's what's trending. And then the media wants to cover it because that's what's trending. Yeah.
But then when you see people losing weight and wanting to be skinny and like going back into the old era and making articles of heroin chic is back like those articles are damaging those headlines are damaging and everyone follows. So it really is like one person does it and it's a domino effect and I think that's
That started to spiral into the fashion industry where then Skinny was in, Ozempic was in, Fashion Week was now thinner models. I don't even know the percentage, but I'm pretty sure only like 20% were plus size models in Fashion Week, which was like unheard of. It was like the lowest we've seen in years compared to like straight size, which is like a thinner model is the correct term. But it's just like, are we really going backwards? Like what was the point of all that work that-
body activists and plus size models put that work in to do to pave the way for someone like myself who's curvy size 14 and it's like oh so now we're going backwards and like that's not in and so that's why i speak about like don't let your body be a trend don't let this be trendy you know thank you so i do see it affecting the modeling industry and the fashion industry which affects like people's careers and livelihoods and like and mental health and mental health and eating disorders right and
the next generation to come up. So yeah, it's a little scary. It's a little worrisome for sure. - Do you think Ozempic has anything to do with like this huge step back? - For sure.
I know. Like, I swear to God, I have at least five friends on it right now. Yeah. No, for sure. I know at least like five people on it too. Yeah, I'm sure. By the way, I was just speaking with one of my friends and she had to stop taking it because...
Her kidneys got... Were failing? Like something like that. Like something crazy. Wow. I believe it. And I don't think... I think people talk about it like it's, you know, oh my God, just like a miracle. It's like a hot thing that's in. Yeah. It's so dangerous. And the thing is, is like it can be beneficial to those that really need it. It can help people that have obesity. It can help you if you have diabetes. My problem with it is when...
someone is chasing this ideal to be skinny and thinking that they are more beautiful and desire to be skinnier. And it's like this whole thing that we're trying to fight against. And it's like skinny doesn't equal happiness. Skinny doesn't equal beautiful. Why are we still striving to be smaller? Why are we trying to take up less space? Like we are constantly as women trying to shrink ourselves in more ways than one. And now it's this whole trend of Ozempic to make yourself smaller. And I'm like, bitch, own the space you walk in. Be the curvy body that you are. Like,
It's so crazy. And it's like, I don't judge people that do it because I honestly think five to seven years ago, or if I was in high school and this was out and trending, like I would be calling my mom and begging her to take me to the doctor, like 100%. And I could say that with no judgment and shade. But like now that I've had this awakening and like come to this point of confidence, like,
I don't feel the need to take that and I want to help people be like no you don't need that and it's scary when someone that's like so small already wants to be smaller when you don't know the long-term effects it's failing people's kidneys I mean there's so many articles and scientific research on it
And that's not to say it doesn't help a lot of people, but it also hurts a lot of people. And it hurts society in a lot of ways too. So it's scary. - 100%. - Yeah. - This chase that you're talking about, like always wanting to be skinnier or prettier. - Yeah. - I am the skinniest I've ever been. - Yeah. - I am not happy right now, by the way. You're like, is this a call for help? - No, this is deep. I like this, keep going. - This is real, right? I remember being in middle school, high school, college.
and I always was like, you know, I want to lose like 5, 10, 15, whatever. Yeah, for sure. And I am the smallest I've ever been and I don't feel like I'm on fucking cloud nine. I don't feel like I hit nirvana. I'm the happiest ever at all. Do you feel like you were intentionally trying, and I don't know if you've lost weight. I don't know at all. Do you feel like you were intentionally trying to lose weight? Do you feel like it happened naturally? Do you feel like this is something that's on your mind a lot? Like,
- So I think it was completely unintentional. And I think that it was not on my mind whatsoever. It used to be when I was younger, right? Like I think something about middle school and high school, like I remember being obsessed. - Obsessive thoughts for sure. - Yes. And then it kind of dwindled and then it really like almost completely dissipated for me. I know that's not the case for everyone.
And I lost like a significant amount of weight without trying to and not even obsessing over it. But I'm aware, right, that I'm the smallest I've ever been. Right. And I'm not like I am so happy. I am so skinny. Like I don't feel like that at all. Do you wake up and you like look in the mirror and you feel like you're a bad bitch? You feel so confident? No. Or is it almost like opposite? Yeah.
I wouldn't say opposite, but I wouldn't say like, oh my God, you're a bad bitch because I'm that fucking level of skinny that I always wanted to be when I was younger. And then you get there and you're like, oh, this is it. I'm like, I'm not. I would like to work out with my personal trainer. Yeah. Triple the amount. So I have an ass. Yeah. You know, you will always find something. Always. Always. And that's the thing is like people are chasing a number on a scale, a size of your jeans.
once you get there, you will not be fulfilled. Like you will not be happy. If you feel like you're doing this challenge for yourself and you want to be healthier and like you're working out a ton and eating clean, like nothing wrong with that. I'm not like anti don't work out. I work out all the time. Like I'm not against that. I'm against the idea that like when you feel like you hit a point, you'll finally be happy. Like that's where you're not looking. Like you are not looking in the right spot.
Like if you feel like your confidence lies on a number, like you will not be confident. You won't achieve that. No. And how do people talk to you differently about your body? Do you feel like you get more compliments now that you're smaller?
I don't think I get more compliments. I think because I lost weight when I was already in the public eye, there used to be a lot of talk about how much weight I lost. Right. And I actually did get to a point which was a little bit scary. Like I will admit that 100%.
and then I think I gained some weight back, but not all of it. Yeah. And now people like won't comment as much. No one's like you're hotter or you're not as hot. Yeah. But they'll always be like she's so skinny or like, you know. They'll comment on it still. Yeah. That's what's like super difficult too when someone, you have no idea what someone's going through. Like for all I know, I could be on Ozempic. Like you wouldn't even know. You know what I'm saying? Like people don't know anything. So it's like,
When you start getting comments from the public of like, oh, you look so like so good or oh my God, you look amazing. What have you been doing? You don't know if that person's serving themselves. Yeah. You don't know if they haven't eaten in weeks like they don't know if they're miserable and have something going on at home. But then you constantly are getting validation of you look so good. You look so pretty. Keep doing what you're doing. That messes with someone's mental health like that literally messes with you right there.
Right. You know, it's like so now you have to like gauge how you feel, but then how the public feels about you, how your friends feel about you when you don't feel happy. You don't feel complete the smallest you've ever been. But maybe people are like, you look so fucking good, girl. Like, you look so good. You're like, fuck, I'm not even happy. You'll never be enough. Like, you always have something to say. Yes. Always. But I really I remember middle school. I had like a little bit of a complex high school a little bit.
And now I'm like, okay, so you're teeny tiny and the smallest you've ever been. Right. And am I like, oh my God, I fucking made it, everybody. Yes, bitch. No. No. No. Because now I'm like, oh, well, now let's take care of this. Let's work on this and get a little thicker here. Yes. It's like you can't fucking win. No. So you just got to be happy with who you are today, right now, the way you are. Which is, you talk about it like it's like,
Snap. Let's go. But you did. Years and years of work. Years and years of work. Years and years. But the baby steps you can do every day. The affirmations every day you can do. The journal about, you know, journaling about your health, mental health, and how you feel about yourself.
Who you hang out with you can do. You can control who's your surrounding. Who talks badly about themselves, get them out of your life. Like actually look at who is circling around you. Who makes you feel good about yourself? Notice when you walk away from hanging out with someone, do they make you feel good or not? Like those things we can control every day. And it gets easier and easier every day. Really? How do you do that? Oh my God. That just like struck a chord. I'm totally the friend who will tell my friends yes.
you look stunning. Yeah. You're just amazing. Yeah. I'm also the friend who will sit there and be like, um, I'm sorry, my fucking hair. Yeah. By the way, I,
It sounds like I hate myself. No, no, no. But this is so relatable. Right? No, this is so relatable. 100%. I will sit there and be like, my hair like this. Right. Misery loves company. I'm a bitch. You're real as fuck for saying that. Because some people are like, I would never talk about me about myself. No, like that's real as fuck for you to acknowledge that. Self-awareness queen, if I've ever heard it.
But at least we know. Yeah, I know we're self-aware. We know that misery loves company and we also love to be late. So like we're very self-aware. Girl, we are going to be best friends. No, I feel it. Like we're going to be horrible for each other. Like also therapists for each other in a way. So we have covered a lot of deep stuff.
Shit. I like that. Deep shit, guys. Yes. We're getting deep up in here. Yes. I want to lighten up a little bit. It's not lightening up. I'm nervous. We're just being fucking real. Yeah, let's get real. This is what I want to talk to you about. Okay. So you said something about when you are in front of a camera. Yes. You fucking kill it.
Thank you. I try. Yes. Well, I mean, I've seen the pictures and you do. Thank you. Sports Illustrated has seen the pictures and you do. Wikipedia has seen the pictures. Wikipedia is on my side. And you do. Miami Swim Week. That's where you're headed right after this, right? Yeah. They've fucking seen the pictures too. Yes, yes, yes. So...
I've learned a little bit because I've had to. Of course. When a camera's on me to just kind of know what to do. Yeah. My mom, for example, she wants pictures taken left and right. Right. Right. Does she know how to pose in front of a camera? No. Right. Relatable. Right. She kind of, and I love her to death.
And I used to be like this. Like once a camera showed up, I would kind of lose all like muscle control in my face and just not know how to work a camera. And it just for a lot of people, it feels really awkward. Yes, for sure. I want you to tell me how people, specifically me,
How to pose in front of a camera. I mean, it doesn't have to be me. But you know what I'm saying? No, for sure. Like, what are the go-tos? Well, do you ever practice like in front of your marital to see like what angles, what sides? Like, do you ever do that? No. So do that. Do it.
Do a little practice lesson. Do that in front of the mirror. Fucking step one. Step one. Just practice it out. Also practice with your friends. Take some pics. See what sides look good. What doesn't look good. I think what's always great is like elongating. Like I think like when you have like a leg out, like I can't do it sitting, but when you have like a foot out and it's like almost pointed, it makes everything like look super long and
I like making shapes with my body. So like this looks like a triangle, right? Like on your hips, like doing like different shapes. Like also like using your hands on your head. Yeah, to like pose. I did this at a shoot today actually. I'm like it's not like the bend and snap. It's actually the graze and point. So what you do is like you graze the side of your body. So it's not like a harsh like this. This is giving like seventh grade.
It's more of like a graze, like almost like your hand is like on your lower hip, almost like butt area. And that's like a graze and you graze up your leg and your shoulders like a little bit back like this and you graze and then you kind of just like hold your hand here, shoulders back, and then you just smize.
you know okay but like instead of being like harsh because this looks posed this looks effortless you know what i'm saying so this is po that's like two pose like you don't look like you're trying too hard elwood it's giving harsh it's getting like kind of have it but if you have it like a little bit back and you're almost like grazing the side of your hip and your arms are like back like that
I feel that. And it's like an effortless, like so sexy. But even just doing that, putting your arms back. Yeah, you look great. Like, are you ready for a new Instagram photo? Like, I got you. I mean, I think I'm ready for like a bunch of new photos. I mean, like I'm ready for you. I'm about to hand you my phone. I do want to quickly ask you about the Smize. Yes, let's talk about the Smize. People are like, they're crazy. We're like, we'll be back. We're just, we're going to take photos really fast. Just like a tutorial really quick. Don't worry. The Smize. Smize.
- Miss Tyra. - Right? - Yeah, she invented. - That's where that started. - Yeah, 100%. - America's next top model. - Oh my God, yes. - I remember her holding the cards. I remember her doing it. - She was brutal with it. - She's savage. - She's so fucking gorgeous. - She is, she's insane. - She's also cuckoo, but like-- - She was like savage for sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like telling everyone they were ugly, but like we get it Tyra, like times have changed. That probably wouldn't be applied now.
No, she was a savage with it. If you ever look back on it. I'm thinking about America's Next Top Model. That shit would not fly. No, they would never allow that. They'd be like, you're ugly. I'm like, oh my God. You can't see that now. No, she was real. She was real. She was like, I'm finding the next model. Yeah. She was great at smizing. And it's about making love to the camera. Making love to the camera. Making love to the camera. Like it's all in the eyes. And you almost have to have like that doe eye look and like.
You just have to like look at it and like have everything just like sink in. Yeah. And your lips have to be like a little open, like perked open a little bit. Like it's just like a little like sultry like, you know. It's acting. It is. Full blown. You're in a character. Yeah.
Alter ego. Yeah. You know, what's harder, making love to a guy or making love to the camera? Way harder making love to a guy. They need they need to work on a few things first. But no, the camera is just like easy. It flows. Men are like a little bit harder to deal with, a little harder to like work with. But both are great.
Both are great. Both are great. But a camera will give you great pictures. Yes. And a guy will give you an STI or get you pregnant. So disgusting. Exactly. And like you need therapists. Yeah. Yeah. It's just too much. Yeah. Yeah. So make love to the camera. For sure. You'll never go wrong. Well, you could go wrong, but we'll work on it. We'll do more tutorials. Bye. Bye. Bye.
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Okay, this has been fucking amazing. I want to quickly jump into my listener questions. Yes. And I'm going to read these and we are going to answer them together. Let's do it. And give the sleuth some advice, okay? So question number one. Hi, Sophia. Is it a huge red flag for someone to track their partner's whereabouts without their consent?
I recently found out my boyfriend put a tracker on my car when I went on a girls trip and he thought it was hilarious. But I was about 40% disturbed, 40% aroused. No, this is hilarious. 12% ready to break up and 8% ready to fuck and suck.
Okay, this girl's conflicted. She's conflicted. Help a hoe out. There have been no other signs of craziness. His ex cheated and that was his excuse for why he did it. Okay, that's a lot to unpack. So basically, this guy that she's dating put a tracker on her phone.
car without her knowing. That's kind of crazy. Yeah. You know, the old me in my really fucked up toxic relationships would be like
Oh my God, if that's not love. Like he cares. No, that's like the toxic shit of us. Yes. But like no one else would care like he would. Exactly. Like, are we okay? Like, if that's not love, I don't know what the fuck love is. Right. Like that's love. And he wants to know about like my whereabouts, make sure I'm safe and whatever. Now that we're a little bit, you know, understanding of that part. And enlightened. Right. Yeah.
I think that's batshit crazy. I think that's batshit crazy. If you don't know about it and a tracker, like it's one thing to like, oh, I have like your location on your phone, like find my friends. But you put a whole ass tracker on this girl's car that you are in a relationship with and supposed to trust and love.
Like that's not love, right? No, it's not love. This is a problem. I get the arousement and I get the like, oh, but he loves me. But I do think that percentage point was off on her point. And it should have been like 80% red flag a problem, 20% like he loves me. I completely agree with that. Again, when I was younger, I would think like- Oh my God. Yeah, of course. Totally. Him putting a tracker in your car without you knowing. Yeah.
- Scary. - Scary. Scary, scary, scary, and like how did you find out about it? Like I kinda have more questions. - Me too. - Was it like ding, ding, ding, like something went off or like air tag?
me too like alert like what the fuck was that conversation and how did he play that off like oh just my ex cheated like no thank you i mean i'm gonna go into my next relationship and be like hi like i just fucking lit your house on fire because my ex like hurt my feelings and my last relation like you don't bring up the ex no you know to justify something in your new relationship no we need therapy we do therapy and
Then we enter the new relationship. Exactly. So, girl, I get it. You find it hot because, like, he's showing he cares. Right. Oh, my God. Right. That might mean he cares, but there's healthy ways to show you care. Totally. And that's not one of them. Totally. And also, Ella, I think we've both been in this situation. Once a dude crosses that line… Mm-hmm.
of does he love me or is he fucking obsessed with me? Once the line is crossed, it's a little bit not fun anymore. - No, and you almost can't reverse that. - Yeah, next question. Hi Sophia, help a girl out please. I can't stop going after drama.
- Right, chaos. - I'm laughing 'cause we just talked about this. - We just talked. - Yeah. - "I can't stop going after drama and being a psycho in my relationships with men because it pumps me up, but I know it's unhealthy. When I'm bored, I seek out ways to make things more interesting. Sometimes I even stir the pot to get attention. So do I embrace and accept these qualities as who I am, or do I push myself to become a more balanced and healthier person, even though it would go against my soul?"
her soul that's a good one too i mean girl i don't want you to relatable right beyond like we seek the chaos we seek the drama yes and this is where i would say you have to be extremely self-aware yeah and there has to be some balance yeah because i mean for me
If the relationship is kind of just feeling a little bit boring, like maybe I'll, you know. Sprinkle. Yeah. Sprinkle. You need to have the sprinkle factor. Not pour. Not pour. Sprinkle. Sprinkle the drama in. But it can't all be drama with a sprinkle of healthy. No. It has to be healthy with a sprinkle of chaos. Yes. And that is the best relationship coming from someone that's very single. Thank you. Thank you everyone. I know everything about relationships. I've been single forever.
It's true. I'm fucking single myself. You get it. We are the same person. What the fuck? This is why, though, you listen to us. Coaches don't play, honey. They do not. I will coach from the sidelines, baby. But if I'm stepping in the court, it's a bad game. We can't play because we know we're the coaches. We're not the players.
Thank you. And we will stay that way. And yes, we will stay single forever. Till we die. Till we die. Till we're 100. Like literally. You're with me on this, right? I'm there with you on the sidelines. Jesus. So I totally agree. It's just a sprinkle of chaos. I think it's totally healthy. Great recipe. They get it. They get it. The girls are like, get it, get it, get it.
Okay, next and last question. Here we go. Bring it on. Hey, Slu, I have a question regarding a hookup.
I went over to a guy's house and after we slept together, he went on his phone and I saw that my Instagram was in his search history. Okay. I joked that he was looking me up and he explained that he jacked off before we slept together. Is this normal? Why do guys do this? Please help. No fucking way that man admitted that. No way he admitted that.
I didn't see the question going that way. I that took a left turn. Yeah. Wow. I got to give it to the guy. I've never heard of a man so honest. I give it to him. Yeah. So we know he's an honest guy. Honest king. Points for that. Right. I'm scared, though. You are a little.
I didn't know that guys could jack off to just pictures on Instagram. All the time. Well, a certain kind of guy. True. A certain kind of guy, right? Oh my God, but men are men. That's true. Ew, I get that question all the time. Do you know men are jerking off to your modeling photo? I'm like, okay, well now that's gross. Right. But I get, like it's true though. No, you know what? I'm acting stupid right now. I remember my ex told me like, oh yeah, I did try to like, I would go through all your pics and like,
See? And that was your ex. This ain't no weirdo. That's your ex. I mean, maybe he is a weirdo and that's why we're exes. Right. Yes. But I think it's probably common. It's common. But no way he admitted that. Like, that's kind of bold. Like, I would have just been like, oh, yeah, like my homie was asking who's coming over. Like, I would have played it off super cool. Like, yeah. Oh, yeah. I just think you're cute. Like, what? Yeah. I jacked off to your photos before you came over. Like, what?
I don't know if I'd be flattered or disgusted or have the ick immediately. Like, I don't know what I would have reacted to. Like... You know what? If he performed well in bed, then I'm going to give him a pass. Fair. He jacked off before, so he should have been able to last a good amount of time. Right. If he gave you four plays, if he did everything right... True. I'm going to respect him for being honest. Yeah. Yeah.
If he told you, oh my God, I jacked off before you came over. And he was horrible in bed. And then he was horrible. Like he's a weirdo. Like there's something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. So you can't be bad in bed and jack off to my photos. You got to know what you're doing. Be really turned on by me. You like what you see, but like you're still put in the
work, you know? - I don't know if that rationale that I just did makes any sense, but I don't really care 'cause it makes sense to me. - Makes sense to me. - We're gonna give him a pass if the sex was good.
Girlies. Please, please follow up. Let us know, sis. And write back in because I need to know. We need to know. But yeah, I mean, I wouldn't just give it an automatic no because he was honest. Right. Because guys are out here doing that shit. Yeah. No, he was honest with it. He was. It's plottable. Ella.
You and I are going to be horrible for each other, but I love you. I love you. And I'm going to make you miss your flight. No, I'm just kidding. No. This is perfect. Thank you so much for coming. Where can everybody find you? You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Ella Halikas. And stay tuned, baby. Swim week, we're coming. New confident vids, we're coming. Smize tutorials, we're coming.
Stay tuned. We're going to be taking some fire photos of Sophia's like, just wait. Just wait. Just fucking wait. Like, everybody. Iconic. Thank you so much for coming. You were incredible. And sleuths, I will talk to you next week. Bye.
