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It's Sophia Franklin. You are listening to Sophia with an F and the F is for phenomenal. This podcast is rated F.
If you already have your life set, your trajectory set to where you want to go and like you're doing it for yourself, you support yourself emotionally, financially, whatever it is, right? Yeah. A man is just an addition. And so he should just add. He should just add enjoyment to your already enjoyable situation. And sometimes I feel like in order for a man to genuinely come correct, he has to know like this woman is not to be fucked with.
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everybody welcome welcome welcome to my show Sophia with an F I am super excited this week I've already been shooting the shit with this beautiful chaotic and toxic girl next to me Ellie Waters hello hello how are you feeling I'm feeling so good but thirsty we could go for a shot
But we're not going to. We're being better. We're being better. And we're saying that right now. And I know by the end of this episode, people are going to be like, you guys are delusional. But we really contemplated like taking some shots. And then it just, the logistics were too crazy. And like, we both have to work after this. But like. The logistics. So we just have responsibilities, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah.
We still might. We aren't sure yet. Yeah. The verdict is still out. We'll get back to you guys. I wonder if I should start doing that is just having alcohol available. Right. Like you knock at the door to come in and you say, you open the door and say, here's your shot. Well, you know what? I did that one time for a very big guest. It was Amber Rose. Oh my God.
And I got her a super, I don't know if it was like Don Julio tequila or if it was a really nice bottle of champagne. And I gave it to her and she said, I don't drink. That's when I just like, stop. She said me either. So I was like, stop.
I'm like, honestly, I've been sober for 20 years. Like, yeah. So I think maybe that's what scared me. Right. Amber, me too. I just, it was just like a cordial thing. It's just a standard thing. But I think that's like what scared me. But I'm so excited to have you here, Ellie, because...
If you guys don't know who she is, which you probably do, if you have ever been on TikTok ever on your For You page, you have seen this bitch. Being brutally honest, outspoken, and saying some things that...
are a little bit controversial, could we say? - You could say that. - Okay. - Some people, you just gotta give it a shakedown once in a while. - Yeah. - Shay Talk needs a little one-two once in a while, you know? - Thank you. Thank you for saying that because there's been this whole trend and movement towards health and wellness.
- And we do not support. - Which we do, which we do, but it's so over the top. It's, I swear to God, it's every influencer, every friend I even have is all about how do we become healthier? And it's like, at a certain point, let's cut the shit. - Yeah, no, I think it's good, but I think you also have to be realistic.
Right. Balance is key. And I think there's no balance anymore. No. It's just, it's simply journaling, yoga, sleepy time routine. Yeah. However, there is another part to life, which is a little messy and it's a little drama and it's a little chaotic. And that side should not be something that we just completely ignore and act like it's all bad.
because I think there's something really good in fucking with people's heads and being that line was crazy there's definitely something beautiful no I sound like one of no I sound like how I did like six seven years ago bringing her back and she's still there you know even though I'm older
But you're not old. And we were just having this conversation. 30 is not old because you're 30, right? Well, Ellie came in here saying she was 24 and that's old and that 30 is not old. Explain to them what you mean. I think there's certain numbers that feel younger than others. 30, we're down there.
but as soon as you pop a four after that too. - Okay. - It's wraps for me. - Okay. The 26, I understand. The 24, no, actually- - A little shaky.
Actually from 24 to 26, I remember being scared of 30 because I felt old at 24, 26. I think when you turn 30, you can look at it one of two ways. One is, oh, holy shit, you're 30. Or the other one is, oh, now you're in a whole new playing field where you're the youngest. Exactly. That's the way to look at it. Right.
Yeah. What is it called? Your generation. Oh, yes. But it's not your generation either. Maybe that's what it is. That's what it is. That's definitely what it is. I'm mind blown right now. See? Sophia the philosopher. Oh my gosh. I mean...
I brush up on Socrates and Aristotle here and there. But if you're 20, you feel so young because you're the youngest from 20 to 30. 30, I'm looking at 40-year-olds like, damn, I have a minute to go, you know? Yeah. And then when you're 40, you probably feel young again. When you look at a 50-year-old. At the start of every decade, you feel young again. Decade. That's the word we were looking for.
I'm so happy. Decade. Yes. That was like some really. That was some breakthrough shit. Yeah, it really was. So let's talk about the toxic behavior. And I'm not even going to sit here and like interview you like a normal person. Because I feel like we already know each other from a different life. And we're just going to shoot the shit right now. We're co-hosting right now. Whether we want to or not, I think it's coming. Yes.
We're both on it, like driving the airplane. Co-pilot, pilot. Yes. I think we should just ask for forgiveness in advance. Well, let's just let's point out the elephant in the room because I've talked about being reformed. Right. You called me out on it. Well, I called you out on it because I also have been telling people that I just feel like I'm living a little bit of a lie.
God. I feel that. Basically, we're fuck girls. At heart. Yeah. We either used to be or we still are. You know what? That's up for you guys to decide. We don't know. But let's talk about the fuck girl thing. Because that's kind of.
Would you say that's kind of your thing on your TikTok? I think so. Is being a fuck girl. Yeah. And you know what? Fuck boys got so much...
attention. Yes. Just that name. Fuck boy, fuck boy, fuck boy. You see it everywhere. Right. And like, I've heard fuck girl like here and there, but no, it was never fully embraced. I think you invented it. I'm hair. Truly. I think you invented it. I mean, girl, you just fucking, I feel 24 again. I mean, I don't think you need to be humble in this department. I think you did invent it. I think I did have something to do with that. There was nobody. Yeah.
running around doing the shit that they're doing now right before you thank you so much for acknowledging that because it's true and in other interviews I would be like I know I didn't I had nothing to do with that that's not me but in this one where we're being real and honest honest yeah I think I kind of shaped a generation yeah is what we'll say and
I fucking shaped a fucking generation. What is a fuck girl? Because I know what it is. But I want to hear from you as a 24-year-old what it means to be a fuck girl. I think you just have to have a certain level of confidence and finesse. Like, you have to have that kind of, like, charm about you in a way. Yes.
Yes. Some people inherit it. Some people learn it. Okay. That's such an interesting point. Do you think, because I inherited it. Same. It's in my blood. I was born with it. And I can't help it. It's here. But some, for some women, they can learn. They want to learn it. They want to learn. And we're here. And we're here to help. Yeah. It's your lucky day. Talk.
Talk about being healthy and like looking out for society. Like we're doing it right now. I think honestly we are though. Some people just need to hear what it is because we all walk around now acting like we don't want to act out once in a while. And that's a lie. We're living a lie. You can still be the Pilates, zent out, whatever you want to call it, girl, clean girl aesthetic as they say, right? Yeah. You can still be that.
and go shoot the shit, finesse, get your way. Like you, that's all still empowering. That can all still be part of it. Yoga bitches are the craziest bitches on planet earth. You heard it. Period. Period. I am like, I want to say it right now. Every chick that I've met that is a yoga girl and teaches yoga and like went to the whole, it's not yoga camp, but like, God, God.
Got their yoga certification, but they're fucking crazy. Crazy. And I hope that I'm not offending anyone, but I think a lot of maybe that's why they're doing yoga is to keep them out of jail. To find their study to get them out of jail in June. Right. Yeah, that's definitely why I started. To keep us out of jail. Right. Okay, so I'm just kind of having...
this like that's a Raven moment and I'm thinking about myself in the past and this fuck girl mentality that I really kind of brought to the forefront for a lot of girls trailblazer, but I think and this goes back to what you were saying is it inherited or Did I learn it mine was totally inherited and my question for you is this is it once a fuck girl always a fuck girl or
Or do you think you can change? Yes, I think it is. But I don't think that you can't be in a healthy relationship with that in you. I think it just, you will always have a certain level of charm to you. Charm. I love that we're calling it charm now. It is. It's not finesse. It's like charm. Yeah. You're able to charm people into like getting what you want essentially, right? Yeah. So I think you always kind of have that...
aura about you if you will totally but it doesn't mean you can't be in a healthy relationship it doesn't mean i'm going to cheat in every relationship it doesn't mean i'm always going to be all over the board i think you learn to contain it yes and use it use it wisely yeah yeah absolutely yes use it wisely and use it with caution right use it with intention yes for sure intention yeah
And honestly, it's men love the crazy. They do. And I said that, I don't know, six years ago. And it's still true. I'm not turning back on it. I wouldn't if I were you. They love the crazy.
They're crazy. They say they don't, especially as they get older. They're like, I don't want to deal with that. It's too much. I'm in like, I'm in a great place in my life. But if you don't have a little crazy to you, they are bored and they're kicking you out. They will cheat. They will cheat. Do you want to get cheated on? Do you want to get cheated on? Ask yourself. I really like feel like high school bullies right now. Stop.
No, we love you. This is empowering shit. This is empowering shit. It is meant to be empowering. It is. Because a lot of women, their insecurity stems from not having control in relationships. And whether women want to admit it or not, for a lot of them, a man is something that they desire because they want to start a family or they want to do different things. Right? Like, so that control is an important part of things. Huge. Yeah.
Huge part of things. Because for the most part, relationships, the man is in control. Right. At least traditionally, probably how we've seen our parents or our grandparents at least, that's kind of the setup. You know? And I mean, it's still, like, the imbalance, it's still there, huge. But...
We're going to talk about how to flip the table. Is that what you say? Switch the roles a little. Switch the roles. I actually don't know if that's good. Switch the roles, flip the table. We're going to throw the table. Grab the table and we're just going to throw it. So the first thing you do is fucking throw shit because that scares the fuck out of men. Okay. I would love to know though, Ellie, what is the most fuck girl-esque thing you've ever done?
Oh, the list is long as I'm sure yours is. Okay. If I think of something that comes to mind, and actually I don't think I maybe have ever told this to the men involved. Oh my God. So I'm a little nervous. Okay, go. The people need to know. This was about a year ago. Still a little fresh. Okay.
I was coming out of my college relationship, which was a very public one. Okay. And we were still kind of like figuring things out. He was in Japan or wherever for the Olympics at the time. Oh. So he's like supposed to be in like this, he's supposed to be locked in, right? He's on the phone with me. Don't tell us you made the USA lose the Olympics. Okay.
- No, it's fine. - Okay, good. - No, but he's like trying so hard to be locked in and he calls me and he's like, "When I get home, like we need to talk." And I'm like in Miami with this man, like we're on our flight home. And I'm like, actually I'm like moving in with somebody.
i have to live with this man stop and that was the last time i ever talked to him like while he's locked in to go win a gold did you lose america gold so we're down a gold medal i'm you heard it here first i'm so sorry all right we'll get it next time that see that's why
That is why when you're in the Olympics, you should not have access to your phone. No. And this is going to sound... Put it in the bucket. Put it in the bucket, like have someone hold on to it. I think so. I mean, it's... It was his fault. It was... For checking his phone. It was definitely his fault for picking up the phone. So explain, give us a little background though, because was he your boyfriend? Yeah, like three years. Three years.
And were you always planning on breaking up with him? Yes. He was lovely, but he lacked brain cells. Oof. You know? I've been there. Right. So it's like, what are you going to do? The sex was great. The penis amazing. We're all good. Yeah. Zinger. Can't have a conversation. Can't. It's like, you're the one talking the whole time. All we're doing is fucking. We're not talking. Yeah.
You're the one talking the entire time. The entire time. Right. And it's like pulling fucking teeth. Yeah. And so I did always know. That it needed to end. That it needed to end. But you know how you get in Miami. Like I was coming home from, you always fall in love in Miami. Like fall in love in Miami? I always come home with a boyfriend when I leave Miami. Why is, I don't know.
I, well, that's a really interesting take because the last time I cheated, I was in Miami, actually. I've never talked about this one either, actually. Okay, can we please hear it? I was in a relationship and I knew it needed to end, but I was on vacation with him in Miami. Okay.
That's not even like cool fuck girl shit. That's like full disrespectful that like I would not suggest. So I'm just going to own that right now. But I went out and I met this very interesting guy and he was Italian. I'm saying that in air quotes because I'll get to it.
He was Italian and he was, we were at 11, is that the strip club? - Yeah. - I definitely got COVID. I was being out of control. I was like licking strippers butts, which like you're not allowed to do. But I asked them first, I asked them first. And he just gave me a wad and whatever. He was super hot. I ended up not just going home with him, but to, there's an island that you have to take like a ferry to. - You got in a ferry?
rid of a man. No, to go with him. Oh my God. To hook up with him. And you said yes. Put me on the ferry, babe. It's this island off Miami that is super, um,
wealthy. Okay. And it was like a $25 million house. I would go as well. Right? Like, yeah. Like I just, I kind of had a feeling. Fisher Island. Okay. Fisher Island. So we go and we kind of hook up. It wasn't full set. Okay. So like it didn't really count. And then I had to take a ferry home, which like that walk of shame is like really crazy. Ferry home is crazy. Like,
That was, to be wearing heels and like the whole shebang and you're not even in the safety of an Uber, but you're like on a public ferry that other people are taking. You're like, I'll just swim. Like crossing the water and having to wait, you know, for the next ferry. That's crazy.
It was not worth it, by the way. And you know, everyone else there is like so well dressed. Like they all have their pull up looking a little. And yeah, the really fucked up part about it is I posted on my story and I said, oh my God, fairy walk of shame and just posted it.
I was there with my boyfriend and all his friends. And you posted? And they brought it up and I was like, oh my God. Like, it was like a joke. That wasn't me. I ended up at my friend's house. I actually lost my phone. Right. Someone else must have posted that. Okay. But then some scary shit happened after where the guy had left his wallet accidentally in my purse. And because he asked for my number and I was like, I'm not giving you my number. That was a one and done. But he left his wallet and...
he was not Italian. It was a like Mexican resident card. Like he's a resident of Mexico card. And then I remember there were like a ton of fucking drugs in this house, like more than I've ever seen. And he lied about his name because it was not the same name that was in the wallet. Was it like his middle name at least? No. So we're not even in this realm. So
So then I was like, is this some narcos? Like, we are in Miami situation. And so...
I had his cousin's number. I did ship the wallet back, so I was scared at that point. I was like, I don't want them thinking I have his credit cards. - You're gonna have like the feds at your door. He was probably there to like sell drugs. - And wait, I actually did try to use one of his credit cards in his wallet to buy dinner with a friend. - To buy dinner with a friend. - I'm not okay. I'm really not okay. - I mean, that's pretty, I would too. - Right? I mean, I think it's like the charitable thing to do, but I've never talked about that before.
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My idea of being a fuck girl is similar to what you said. It's genuinely being in your power and knowing your worth.
And knowing that because men and women are not on an equal playing field, that we kind of by default have to be fuck girls. Yeah. Fuck girl puts us on the same playing field as a regular dude. Yeah. It's not even a fuck girl. It's like a not to be fucked with girl.
Not to be fucked with girl. Thank you. And they know. Like, even if you don't still, like, go out all the time or, like, post or whatever. Like, I used to be out all the time. I don't really anymore. Even so, like...
Men still know. It oozes. If you fuck with me, because they know I'm at peace. I'm always chilling, whatever. I'm really not out there trying to ruin lives like I used to. Right. But they still know. Mm-hmm. I'm not going to fuck with her. I'm not going to do her dirty. Because the other part of being a not-to-be-fucked-with girl is...
The other part of it is yes, our tactics and tips, but it's an aura. It is. There's no game. You either like, it's just a presence. So let's, okay. So we were born with it. It's innate in our nature. There's no DNA. And do you think, let's be honest with ourselves and like really like look in the mirror and be for real.
Do we think, because I'm talking about how it's like this whole empowering thing, which it is. But do you think we're that way because of internal like hurt and insecurity? I don't know. Okay. Like I honestly. That's an honest answer. Maybe it used to be. Because I was like a reformed ugly kind of like I used to not be cute and like, you know. Okay. But.
That's why you have so much personality. Because you have to learn to be likable while you're ugly. Right? The charisma really comes through. I mean, I don't believe that you used to be ugly. I mean, I'm talking like braces, middle school, like just not, you know what I mean? Uh-huh. I think the way I am the way I am is kind of two parts, twofold. Partly, I grew up kind of seeing, I grew up with a single mom. Kind of like just dis...
My mom just turned around. My mom is in the studio and just turned around and gave me the biggest stink eye. This is why you can't come to recordings with me. Anyways, so I grew up with a single mom, which was incredible, amazing. So that's part of the empowering, like I'm a fag girl. But also seeing maybe not...
being the best, right? Sure. Cause my father was absent and just kind of seeing not really functional relationships and just like seeing men kind of be pieces of shit.
Totally. So I think that makes total sense. Right. And I try to figure out like why I am like this. Why are your parents? I look at my family and I'm like, I came from a cookie cutter household. My dad loved me. I still love my dad. I'm like, I'm just ill. Okay. Okay. Maybe. I must just be ill. Yeah. I will say this. I do think maybe it stems from the fact that like everybody in my family, like homewrecked a relationship to get to their marriage. Ooh.
Do you know what I mean? Like, everybody was, like, kind of out there. My dad would be very, like, open about the fact that, like, he preferred to date a lot when he was in his younger years. And my mom dated a lot. Like, some people, like, broke up engagements. Like, that was, like, a very, like, they were just open about it. I like that. Isn't homewrecking, like, when you, like, fuck up your best friend's, like, relationship? Oh, I think it's just, like, ruining a relationship. Oh, just someone's in a relationship and you go in and dismantle it? Yeah, and just pick them up.
Maybe that means you guys weren't right for each other and the person that came in and dismantled it. You're welcome. A third person cannot dismantle a relationship. That's so true. Period. That's a fact. So, okay. So maybe that's where it came from. But yeah, I think it was growing up seeing that. Yeah. So I'm like, ooh, I'm going to overcompensate. That makes sense. Yeah. I'm going to overcompensate and like be unfuckable with. Yeah. And then...
I mean, it has, I mean, I think a huge part of it has to just boil down to the fact that men are shitty, right? For sure. We had to get some armor. Yeah. And I think that's just a huge part of it. Yeah. And I think actually too, like growing up, it wasn't even very normal for girls to act like,
Like that you kind of just put up with it. Yeah. But then you came around and you were like, no, we can. And I think like for my generation of girls, I mean, we're kind of in the same generation, but like I was in college. It let us know, like, no, you can. You can. Yeah. That's so crazy to me. And like, and girls didn't know that before. I guess not. It wasn't praised. Yeah.
Wow. Tell me if I'm wrong. The way that we should go about it is almost like if you're in college, if you're younger, go all out. Yeah. Do whatever the fuck you want. Yes. Cheat on him. If you want to cheat on him, cheat on him. Right. But I think what we were talking about before, it just has to evolve with you. Because we still both have it in us, but we don't use it the way that we used to. Right. We are out in clubs every weekend cheating our asses off. No. I'm cool being in a healthy relationship. Yeah. I'm still going to be like...
- That is one thing and I have said it on the show is the cheating thing has been a pattern for me. - Same. - And now for real, for real, I'm like, it's not cool. - For real. For real, I'm done. - Yeah. - Done. I think it depends on the person though. I think it was the men's fault in the past 'cause I didn't like them enough.
You should have been better. There she is. You should have been better. There were, in my case, there were some that like really did not deserve it. And I'm going to own up to that. But there was one, he deserved it for sure. Yeah. But that Florida situation I just talked about, he did not deserve that. So there's some of mine who probably didn't deserve it either. And I don't want to harp on this, but I just think it's such an important part of this is like the...
internal hurt and insecurity part the fuck girlness needs to come from like a powerful place and not not your hurt work through your shit yes yeah because if i'm being totally honest i remember i had this conversation with a therapist and he told me you treat boys like toys because i was telling him about that's crazy that's fucked up true yeah
Because I was telling him my track record and how I behaved. That was a long session. That was our eighth session for him to finally just, he had to cut me off and be like, you treat boys like toys. Right. And I told my friend about it. And my friend was like, I think you just say that because you want to sound cool and it makes you think you're cool. And I corrected her and I said, genuinely,
I think the reason that I do that stems from me being scared of getting hurt. - Yeah. - So I'm like, I will never let myself
totally go and totally fall in love with someone. For sure. I don't think it's cool either. I don't sit there like, oh, I'm so, I'm her. Like, I'm so cool. Like, it's not like that. But it is more of like a protective measure. Because when you're a successful, like empowered woman and you have shit going on, like you don't have time to sit there and
While somebody in like deal with petty shit. Like if you already have your life set, your trajectory set to where you want to go and like you're doing it for yourself, you support yourself emotionally, financially, whatever it is. Right. Yeah. A man is just an addition. Yeah.
And so he should just add, he should just add enjoyment to your already enjoyable situation. Right. So it's not, I don't have time to sit here and deal with you cheating or lying or whatever. Like, I just don't have the time for that. So it's like, you have to come correct. And sometimes I feel like in order for a man to genuinely come correct, he has to know like, I, this woman is not to be fucked with.
Yes. That's where you set the tone from the jump. That was beautifully said. Because my way that I was doing it was probably not healthy, right? Because I'm like, if I never fall in love and if I never really go there, then I'm good. Like, I'm never going to get hurt, you know? And I think that's where that fuck girl mentality came from. But you need to have like a little tiny bit of that, I think, to
just because men are such pieces of shit. And what you're saying is they need to know that they cannot fuck with you. Yeah, you will not come around these streets with that attitude and that energy. You will not. And if you do, you will immediately get run over. You will pay for it. And you have to scare them. You do. You do.
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So how do you feel about marriage? I...
Totally want to get married. I see it for sure. And do you see it happily ever after? Do you see it like a seven year contract with it? No, you know what's crazy? I really am an old soul and I'm an old school lover for sure. And
I definitely, if possible, would love to be with one person. I'm not somebody who will openly just be like, "Oh yeah, I'm ready for my first husband whenever he's ready." That's not really the mentality that I go into it with because if that's the case, I wouldn't get married in the first place. I would just date around for the rest of my life. What about you?
- Same. And I think I've talked about like, I do believe in kind of a seven year, like let's reevaluate the situation. There's a part of me that thinks that makes sense.
I mean, I think that's healthier than just cheating after you get married. It is. Also, props that we've only cheated, but we've never cheated while married to someone. Because we haven't been married. There's a zero percent chance that I'm going to get married. But props for that. It still counts.
We've never cheated in a marriage. Put that on the statistic board, please. Yes, that's huge right there. Box checked. When I get married, you can fucking count on me to not cheat. Same. I'll just call you and be like, so I'm thinking about it. What do I do? She's like, take a shot, relax. Yeah, every boyfriend, I really hope they never listen to this because this sounds... We cheated on all of you.
Yeah, and it's like how you get to the marriage or your boyfriend first. So I'm trying to think what are some other things that would show growth? We could just say fuck it and how about we just give people some toxic tips to be crazy as fuck I think that's what we should do. I think there's too much health and wellness. Yeah, I think you guys need a little bit of like girls got nuts Yeah, there's plenty of
you know, meditate, go, you know, and I'm all about it. There's lots of those pages. Go follow them. We're here to balance shit out in this one episode. So let's go hard. Let's go hard. Give me like one or two tips on how to be toxic. I really got to dig deep. You know, we got to go back a ways. I'm trying to think too. I think something that worked for me was always having multiple men in college.
Okay. So never just seeing one person. Right. Because in college you want different things. You want to be part of a good social circle. So you need a man who has like a good friend group or a plug to get into the bars or whatever. Right. So like have somebody who will advance your social life. Have somebody who will do your homework.
I love this. No. Yeah. Have somebody who can lay it on you. Uh-huh. Who can like get that job done. Have someone who can console you and take care of you. Right. Who has the emotional aspect. When one of the dudes like did something fucked up, you have the console you dude. Right.
So I think that's like a standard policy. - I mean, I think it's widely known that one guy isn't gonna have everything. - Is not enough. - They're never gonna have everything you need. They're not gonna be rich with a big dick and loyal and smart. - It doesn't exist. - So just have a guy for each thing. - Yeah. - I mean, I don't even think that's wrong to do right now. - She's like, so that's what I do currently.
You're describing my current life. But you just don't make up your boyfriend, I guess. Well, right. So I think that's a big one. That's a really, really good one. I think a really good tip is to consistently remind yourself...
how shitty men are. Have your friend retell the story of how she caught Jason cheating on her. - Right. - Just go to things that remind you of how shitty men are. - Re-instill the fear. - Yes. And then your armor will go- - Thickens. - Yeah, your wall will go straight back up and you will be
No one can penetrate that. No one. Your vagina, yes. But like your heart. That's the only way. Your heart and your soul. Yeah. No guy can get in there. So those are like big, big picture items. What is like some specific toxic shit? Oh my God. I'm like really thinking. Like I have to dig. I think there's something really powerful in...
laying something crazy on someone and then disappearing for an extended period of time. You know what I mean? - Yeah, drop a crazy bomb and then go camping, yeah. - Yes. - Sorry, I don't have my phone on me. I'm gonna be in the wilderness. No internet, can't answer. - I pulled that shit, honestly, just a couple weeks ago. And he was standing outside my apartment for like three and a half, four hours.
I wasn't there. He told me later. What did you do? I accused him of cheating, but I had heard something. I was 99% sure it wasn't real or accurate or true.
But I still was just like, I don't love it. I don't love it. And also like our relationship kind of needs like a little, like something like it needs a wrench thrown in there. You need to sizzle it up. Yeah. And so I, I texted him. I said, I can't fucking believe you just come clean. And then he said, what the fuck are you talking about? And then blocked. And that's a good one.
could not get a hold of me for the next like the foreseeable future yeah I love that for you and it really made him prove his love to me when I did unblock I think that means a lot like that just says a lot about a man yeah I would like to point out that the things we're talking about I don't know if you're familiar with Robert Greene he wrote the book 50 laws of power he has all of these incredible like number one New York Times best-selling books
They're not even allowed in prison. They're not allowed to be in prison because they basically teach you how to manipulate, you know? But he says it in such a educational, I went to fucking Harvard type way. Right. And he's a man that people praise him for that. Oh, I love that. But we're doing the same thing and people are going to hate on us. Yeah, they always will though.
Just because we're women saying it and because we're not, we're saying it maybe not as eloquently as he would. Maybe. But we're getting the fucking point across. Yeah. So I think throwing a wrench in when things are going too well, for sure. Yeah, I love that. I think you also always have to have your red receipts on. I think play that game a little bit. I think you also like, women are such emotional creatures. Like you literally cannot text him back.
Like you cannot pick the phone up on the first ring. Yes. You have to, you have to let him drown. Yes. Totally. Are you talking about after a fight or just in general? In general. After the first date. In general. Because now like in this generation, like men want to be chased. I will not chase you. I'm an old school girl. I will not chase you. Absolutely. I wouldn't even know how. I wouldn't even know where to start. I'm not even going to jog.
If he doesn't tell me the place that we're going to have dinner at. Yeah. Like if he hits me with a, what kind of food do you like? I'm not going. We're done here. I'm not going. Wrap it up. I'm just going to go alone. I'm going to go alone. I will literally go alone. Men don't do that these days. Like they don't. Like...
You need to hit me with, there's an Uber coming in 15 minutes. Yep. It's taking you here and see you soon. I will have already ordered a drink for you. I can't. Men are out here really wanting women to chase them. I swear.
I mean, they want what? They want equality? Like, shut the fuck up. We're not into that. I'm so not into it. It's not the vibe. I'm not into it unless it benefits us. Okay, what's another toxic tip? I think this is a great one. If you are just recently talking to a dude, he's not your boyfriend, and this is when you're like kind of in the stages of you're trying to land him, I think you should...
Definitely, actually. No, go for it. I would say leave...
like a guy's hoodie or something at your apartment and he sees it. But do you think a dude would take that as, oh, this girl has game or like, oh, this makes me jealous and like, I need to take it to the next level. Or do you think he'd be like, oh, she's a whore? - That's the thing, it's such a fine line because some men will be like, I'm good off you.
You have other men. I don't want anything to do with that. There are men like that. Because there was a time... And he's going to watch this, so he's going to know I'm talking about him. Hi! Hi! Love you. Okay, so this guy left his... He was a football player. And so he left his football in my car because we were doing something. I don't remember. Well, no wonder you're a fuck girl. You dated athletes. Dated athletes. Okay. Yeah. And...
Someone else was like over at my place one other time. And I had that like football in my room. And he was like, he was also a football player. Was it a signed one or just a football? No, it was like an NFL official football. You couldn't blame it on your brother. Where did you get that game ball? No, I'm kidding.
so like this other guy like came in and had like hat sitting in the corner he like came and he's like whose football is that and he like picks it up and he's like this is a then he said the team like this is a football from the blank and i was like oh yeah my friend left it here like what am i gonna say my friend like please my really good friend like he hated it like he and he was he was gross yes which is fine i didn't like him anyways i actually really disliked him but
That's besides the point. But do we want the dude that wants a girl who's never had sex and never been touched and is a virgin? So I think it could be a good thing if done tastefully.
I think it can be a good thing. I think placement is everything. Like, if he brings it up, like, which he will, you have to, like, brush it off like it's nothing. Yeah. You know? Yes. And, like, carry the, like, keep the conversation pushing. And then if he tries to re-bring it up, she's like, why are you still talking about that? It has to, yeah. And it has to be so tactful. Like, yours with the football, I know you weren't mean. No. Like, you didn't do that on purpose. That was not intentional. Or kick it to the side of, like, the ball.
You're like, hold on, I have to just like take something out to the garbage really quick. No. To the garbage. But I think, yeah, that one was a little in its face. I actually want to get into football. I was like, just training. That's the equivalent of having a thing of Magnum condoms open, like an open one. It's so bad. But maybe it's actually better, the placement, to...
To be for the break like during the breakup when you're gonna give him back all his shit Yeah, like throw in like another dudes like you like give him a hoodie. That's not his and he's like that's not mine Yes, that's a good one. That's a really that's like legendary shit. That's some really good shit He asks for his hoodies back. Yeah include one. That's not his cologne like just have something smell like another do But like men are so stupid they'd be like, oh that's a good smelling I know I
- That's actually my side hose, but it's fine. - You know, girls always talk about how they could smell another girl's perfume or something. Have you ever smelled them? - Never. - It would go right over my head. - I would be like, is that the new Dior? They just launched and it smells nice. - Right, that would go right over my head. - No, smells would not do it for me. I think ponytails do it for me.
Like rings. Okay. That shit. I experienced that shit once and I had to burn his house down. Were you guys officially dating or no? Yeah. Oh, well then no, actually we had broken up, but still, but still it was like very recent. So basically together, basically married. You basically ruined our marriage.
If you guys break up and you fuck someone within six months of the breakup. You're a cheater. You cheated. You cheated. Totally fucking agree. You are a cheater. Totally agree. If you want a dude to have the conversation with you in the beginning of like, what are we? Yes. But you can never straight up ask him, what are we? Never. Never. You might as well throw yourself out the window. Yeah. Down the stairs. Yeah. Yeah.
- Delete your phone number out of his phone. - Throw your phone away. - Yeah. - We're done. - You can never ask him that. - If you're not sure, that is your answer. - And then you leave. - And then you leave. - You bounce. - Immediately. - 'Cause I know a lot of women are out here saying like, oh, come on.
You know, you should be able to say what you want and voice what you want and tell him and if you need to make sure you guys are on the same page, blah, blah, blah,
You don't ask him. You break, you end things, then have him come to you, ask you why you're out the door, why he can't get a hold of you. And then you'll be like, I just don't think we're on the same page. And then it's like, you're leaving him and then he's going to want you, but like it's too late. Exactly. Or...
It's not too late. But then he's like, no, I actually do want this. The important part is that it's your choice now. Yeah, it's your choice. And you did not embarrass yourself by saying, what are we? No. You never, ever, ever do that. You never do that. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a big mistake a lot of women make. They say too much. They do too much. Like, why...
I was with this guy the other day and he was showing me messages from this girl and she just kept going and going and she's like dumping family trauma. And he's like, I'm literally so sorry that your cousin died, but like we fucked one time.
Are you okay? Like immediately stop. Like, I'm sorry. Like no one died. I'm lying. But no, but it's like, basically I've seen the same thing. Girls that have conversations with themselves. I've seen that before. And it, it scared me. I was like, there's no way there's girls out here literally saying like, I don't deserve this. You guys were in the same room one time and
if you have sex with a guy it means it is meaningless when do you think it has meaning i think even after the fifth that it has meaning no i i think it's still meaningless yeah you know it takes a while i think it takes actually going out and doing things together like and i always say this women are so quick to share
about themselves and their life and their problems because they think it'll form an attachment with him oh this is like reverse psychology you should always ask him about himself ask him questions about himself get him to open up get him to share with you he's gonna leave and be like this bitch knows my entire life story and she didn't say a single thing about her that's i'm terrified
That is such a good one. You don't have to worry about talking eloquently or well or anything. He's doing all the talking. Now you have all this ammo. You haven't shared a single thing about yourself. You're maintaining the mystery. Yep. He's going to feel crazy. Yep.
That is a fucking great one. And you would be surprised. People love talking about themselves. My mom always told me that. He will love it. They love talking about themselves. People could talk about themselves all night. Yes. And people feel like they need to fill up the silence, right? No, you don't. Just ask them questions.
Yeah. That's a great one. Do we have any more? I feel like I have 700, but like... We'd be here all night. We'd be here all night and we might lose people. We definitely could lose some people.
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- So I wanna jump into listener questions. - Yeah. - These are questions the sleuths wrote in and I'm really excited. So here we go with the first one. Hey queen, I first discovered you in this podcast during the pandemic. I've listened to every episode and all your advice. I am a 27 year old male. I am not ugly, but I've never really had confidence in life. I don't know why we just laughed, but ugly. Just like, how do you start with that?
Anyways, I'm not ugly, but I never really had confidence in life. Women never have issues talking with me and vibing at bars. My problem is that I can never tell when a woman is actually interested in me, nor do I know how to close and go home with them or even just get a phone number. Any sort of advice guidance will be tremendous. And then he put all of his social handles.
Can you please call him up? If you want to see the type of personality I give off. Okay, now we need to look him up. So I know why it's not working for him. Tell him. I'm going to do it. That would be so funny. Just for fun, I'm going to do it. I'm going to follow. But everyone has to do it with me, but it's not fun. Okay, so. Go ahead. I think. Oh, you already said follow back. You followed back.
- Yeah, he followed me too. So what, well obviously he's a fan of the show, he's writing in. What, we're both thinking the same thing. So this guy provided his Instagram handle
I don't think that that Instagram handle is doing you any favors. I don't think so. I think it's really hurting you. So I think we get rid of the Instagram handle and we really hone in on the personality. Yes. The personality. Key. He said he's not ugly. He's not ugly. And confidence will fucking get you wherever the fuck you want. That or money. Yes.
So are you rich? And if you're not, then... Go back to personality. Yes. So he's confident, so that's great. So be funny. Yep. Charismatic. Make her laugh. Right. Don't be boring. Yeah. And he's wondering how he can tell if she's actually interested in me. You'll know. Time will tell. Time will reveal that. She'll text back. Yeah.
Okay. And then he's asking, Oh, we have a followup. Yeah. How do I close the deal and go home with them?
You just ask her. Less strategy, more just like throwing yourself into the situation. Come back and let's have a couple more drinks. Right. Shots fix everything. Yeah. And if she's like, you know, if you just met her, maybe throw in like bring your friends so she's not like creeped out. Yeah, I think so. I think even just for in general, like if you guys are going on a date,
especially men, like if you know that she drinks, open yourself up. - Yes. - Buy your rounds. - Buy your rounds and make it very clear there's alcohol back at your place. 'Cause I know for me personally, that's all I need to hear when like the bar is closing that someone has a house
and alcohol. You have a roof and alcohol. If there's a roof and alcohol, I will go to that destination. We are going. No matter who lives there, it doesn't matter. It does not matter. Especially if you're already going, what are you going to do? Go to bed? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. So that's really how you close the deal. So there you go. There you fucking go. Okay, this is the last question and it looks really, really insane. Okay.
The guy I've been dating for a few months, we've started having sex and it's really good. However, he says some really interesting things during the act. The first time he said something death related, it was fucking hell, I'm going to fucking die, which doesn't seem that outlandish. However, it has become routine and the theme never changes and it's amped up to stuff like I'm going to fucking kill you.
Kill me, kill me. You better fucking kill me. I'm about to be a fucking goner. What? I'm confused. Is this guy saying he's going to kill her or he's going to die during sex? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who's dying? Okay. Nobody's dying. No, no. We don't like dying. And then it says, and last time as I was giving him head, he said, you trying to end my life, aren't you? Well, that's kind of a compliment. That's not a bad thing. No.
I would take that as I'm really, I wouldn't hate that. No, I'm really like deep throating. Okay. And then it says, and oh my God, I'm going to die and never fucking return. It's like the climax.
It's like the climax is giving him an existential crisis. Should I bring it up? And if so, do I bring it up before or after sex or at a time when we're just like casually sitting together? I don't want him to think he's weird. So I need a little help on how to go about this. Thank you. Love you. Oh.
So at first this question was really scaring me and I was like, I don't think you should hook up with this person anymore. But I think it's equivalent to when a guy's like going down on me and I say something like, oh my God, like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, cause it's so good. Yeah. This guy just really ramps it up.
good i think he just has a fetish yeah with death maybe see that's what you're getting i think he just gets really in the moment and he's like it's like crazy no i think he yeah he does like this death thing i'm about to be a fucking goner you better fucking kill me a goner is crazy behavior i'm gonna die and never fucking return yeah if i was giving a blow job and a guy said i'm gonna die and never return
I would immediately probably stop the blow job and be like, are you like a paramedic? Right? Wouldn't you?
Because there's shit happening here. But if he was just like, you're trying to like end my life, aren't you? Like I would probably keep going. Yeah. I do think you bring it up. Yes. Since it's bothering you. Because I mean, if you're in, if you can be kinky like that, then it's cool. But if it's like scaring you and then...
then obviously have the conversation. She's wondering when to bring it up. Girls are always asking this question. When do I bring this up? Whether it's like a sex related question or like, um, I'm feeling insecure about something. I can't keep shit in my mouth. There is no waiting period. Zero. Well, case in point, the guy that was about to go win a gold for the U S at the Olympics.
You're like... There was no waiting for a proper time. No, the second it enters my brain, he's getting a text. I don't care if he has the biggest meeting of his life. I don't. You shouldn't have checked your phone. But as far as this girl goes, I think like...
Bring it up in a funny way. Like, should I be concerned? Yeah. You need to like, let me know. Like, is this your thing? Or like, should I be calling 911? What's your deal? That's a great way. So he doesn't feel weird about it because you're making it cash and you're laughing. Yeah. And then you'll get the answer. He'll say like, no, it turns me on. Yeah. Yeah.
But stop sitting on it. Immediately ask. Yeah. You always immediately ask. There is no reason any guy should, you should be holding on to any type of pain or poison. No, no, no. No. The grace period does not exist over here. No. No. I can't think of one instance where he's at a funeral. I don't care. No. No. He'll check it after the funeral if he's that serious about the funeral he's at.
Am I wrong? You shouldn't put your phone on D&D. Yeah. That's not my problem. Why are you checking your text during... I'm thinking about it now. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. I'm glad we could agree. Damn. Okay, Ellie, this has been a fucking whirlwind. We laughed, we cried. Yeah, I'm actually like crying a little bit. I am too. My eyelash is about to like fall off. I mean...
That last question, I think kind of like. I'm sweating. Did me in. Yeah. Where can they find you? Because I know you have all the toxic tips and tricks and you guys need to follow her. We do TikTok. And I'm trying to get better about Instagram. Okay. We'll post on Instagram together. Perfect. Yeah, TikTok for sure. It's ElleWaters2.0. 2.0? Because they took my first single.
- Okay, that happened to me too. And then finally I got mine back, but okay. That's where they find you. So obviously you're on TikTok, you're doing Instagram. She is about to get into the YouTube lane too. And then you guys know where to find me. Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y on basically all social media platforms, except OnlyFans at this point, which will probably end up happening. And besides that, Ellie, thank you so much for coming on. And suits, I will see you next week.
Bye. Bye.
