I Found His New GF 01:07:17

It's Sophia Franklin. You are listening to Sophia with an F. And the F is for phenomenal. This podcast is rated F. The real story here. I can't believe I'm talking about this. I don't know why I do this for a living. I really could be a hundred times more private than I am. I came across my ex.

ex's new girlfriend yesterday. If you guys haven't noticed, I haven't had a new merch drop in a minute, but that is all about to change very, very soon. What you guys don't see is the madness behind the scenes and what shipping merch out really looks like.

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How is everybody doing? Great, amazing, fabulous. So am I, kind of. I just had therapy and although I'm a huge advocate for therapy, it's like I'm over the

Analyzation of my brain, you know, like let's just let's leave the noggin alone. I do the things I do because I do them. You know what I'm saying? Like sometimes I just I don't want to know. I don't want to analyze and I don't want to get better.

I just want to stay stagnant with no growth, which is actually the complete fucking opposite of what I have in store for you today. And if you couldn't tell by that gorgeously profound put together intro, I'm

I will be recording a solo this week, which means it's just you, it's just me, and this microphone, and things will get a little bit rowdy, but, you know, I've had a lot of guests on recently. Not to name drop, Amber Rose.

Billy McFarlane. I don't know if I would call him a celebrity. Lil Yachty. I mean, I could go on and on and on. But this is the thing. This is my bread and butter. Is just me talking without anyone else in the fucking room and just talking to you guys. Like, that's kind of how it started. And to be honest...

It is a difficult job, right? Like you have to be talented and smart and good at what you do to be a great interviewer. 1000%. Some people are just not good at it. However,

To be able to talk by yourself without any interaction from anyone else and just be staring into a wall. Well, in my case, a mirror. So it's like I'm kind of talking to myself to be able to just go on and on like monologue style for a fucking hour or

That's talent. And I'm going to give myself a pat on the fucking back because like that is some shit. I would love, I would love, love, love, love, love to see slash hear Oprah just go off for an hour. Okay. You already know whatever came out of that bitch's mouth would be a hundred times more interesting.

and educational and inspiring than what I'm about to talk about, but to each their own. Okay, let's jump into this episode. But before we do, subscribe, period. I'm not going to do a sales pitch. If you want to see me in Tulum, just vlogging it up.

in a bikini, if that's something you're into and me just being my hilarious self, I mean, I think I'm better on camera than, yeah, I think it would be smart to subscribe. So yeah, about five minutes before this recording, I just hopped off my Zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about some things that have happened recently in my life, one of which we will be talking about

And in typical Sophia fashion, I've just been completely running away from and not dealing with the feelings. And I told her during our session that I almost cried because I do run away from my feelings and emotions quite a bit. And then she asked me why I wouldn't just allow myself to cry. And I blinked at her and said, no.

because I have to fucking record and be on camera right after this. God, Karen, you're so stupid.

And with that, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Sophia with an F. It is the wild, wild west out here. So Tulum, I was there, I believe, a couple of weeks ago, and I went for a moment of silence and

a health and wellness retreat. And I know, I know it sounds fucking crazy coming from me. And you know, the past couple of times I've gone to Tulum, I was being offered to see left and right. Pretty sure I tried to finger myself in public and they put a towel over me and carried me out. So that was my last Tulum experience. I'm not going to

This Tulum experience, very, very different. And that's the way I wanted it. So basically what happened was my really, really good friend who lives in San Diego was going with a group of her girlfriends to this retreat. And at first I was like, what?

girlfriend. Like, I just, I don't think I have it in me anymore. You know what I'm saying? And she told me, no, it's not like that. This is

mind-body connection. It really is about health and wellness, spirituality. And I looked at her and I was like, you know what? If this is that kind of awakening that you get at 7 a.m. after you've taken Molly and mushrooms and Rufus Dussault just finished their set, if it's that kind of spiritual awakening, you can count me out.

It was made very, very clear that this was a legitimate retreat. And therefore, I was like, sign me the fuck up. Like, let's get this little noggin of mine, this little noodle. Let's get her to a better place. We're all about growth here. And so away I went. And it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

This retreat was composed of about 13 or 14 women from all over the world. And there was this huge emphasis on sisterhood, which at first I was like, okay, like sisterhood of the traveling pants, like Girl Scouts, what the fuck?

So these two women put on dozens of workshops that you go to throughout the week. One of the workshops was a sound bath meditation and the guy that put it on, he came in and it was really cool except the craziest fucking thing happened to me.

So he says, we're having a sound bath meditation. We're going to do some breath work and I'm going to play some music and go around the room and help people, you know, as I see fit. And he makes this random comment where he's like, there might be a chance that your hands cramp up like a little dinosaur, like a little, he like did like a little pterodactyl, you know, signage and

And he said, if that happens, then stop breathing so deeply. Right? Because the whole point is to take deep breaths and really connect to your breath. Well, I didn't hear the stop breathing. I just heard the hold your breath, but breathe deeply part. So fast forward into this fucking sound bath thing.

And my hands, I was fucking Edward Scissorhands. I have never experienced something like this in my entire life. It's like getting a Charlie horse in both of your fucking hands and they are deformed.

And there's not shit you can do about it. I put them under my ass. I was trying to like roll them out. I was trying to like claw them apart. I was trying to warm them up. I put them in my mouth. Like it was fucking crazy. So basically...

do want to talk about the retreat. And I think the best way to sum it up is in this certain ceremony that was called the cacao ceremony. It was really life-changing, you guys. And I think for a multitude of reasons, but to sum it up, a cacao ceremony is a

where you are in this very sacred place and you're with all of these women and you were given this ceremonial grade, by the way, cacao, which is a drink. They refer to it as mother cacao and it tastes really good, like a little cinnamony, chocolatey texture of mud. And these coaches just kind of

walk you through a form of healing and self-discovery that I cannot put into words. And if I try to, I'm going to fucking butcher it. I think what made this particular workshop and this ceremony and this retreat even so special is the

You have women from all different backgrounds who are there for all different reasons, except not really because at the end of the day, we're really all there to heal and find some clarity. And to be in a community like that where you guys all have that same common goal was really, really special. I ended up crying for two and a half hours.

And I've heard of this shit happening to people, usually on hardcore drugs. But it happened to me and it happened to, I'm pretty sure, every single person in that room. And it was magical. It was insane. I had like four revelations. Seriously, this is not me over-exaggerating. I came to conclusions on things that...

I had been wanting to know the answers for for so long. Things came to me that I didn't even know existed. It was just, oh my God. So amazing. Also very emotional.

There's this... I took like one video on my iPhone and it's after the ceremony. And Allie and I decided to go to the beach to like walk this shit off because that's how crazy it was. And...

We're just bawling. We're just we're laying looking at the water on our fucking lounge chairs, bawling. All the people in Tulum, they're trying to have a good time. We're like, what the fuck? And we kind of just cried the rest of the trip. So did a lot of the women. But my point here is I think the reason it was so special and so effective is

is because, well, A, I really do believe in that whole holistic naturopathic approach when it comes to certain things. I think it needs to be implemented way more into our Western culture. But when you think about

regular therapy here in the U.S. Like the therapy I just had. Love her to death. She has fucking changed my life. She is incredible. But think about when you meet with your doctor, your therapist, your psychiatrist, you're sitting in a room, you're sitting across from this person, you are being asked questions and you're

You are answering them verbally. You are verbally giving that person an answer or you are explaining something that is bothering you at which point the other person is responding, right? And either telling you how to fix the problem or giving you some kind of response. And this isn't even just fucking therapy. This is like talking to your family and friends, right?

I think what made this so powerful was you were being asked existential questions, right? And you were just left alone to sit there with your thoughts. You were not thinking about how to answer. You were not trying to fix the issue. You just sat there or laid there. Or if you were me, you were in the fetal position and

And you just took it in like that. And you had all the time in the world to really let it sink in. I think that was part of it. I think another huge part of it was the vulnerability aspect. It's hard to feel as vulnerable when you're sitting across from someone who has a stone cold face, who is jotting down notes as you're talking to them.

And you don't want to say the wrong thing. So they take your fucking favorite meds away from you. Right? Is that a fucking lie? I don't think so. But the vulnerability aspect was huge. You could just cry. You could scream. You could be yourself. You were surrounded by women who were literally the farthest thing from trying to judge you.

They were trying to connect with you and seeing someone else cry and feeling empathy is such an incredible thing, which I haven't like felt that in a really long fucking time. Like I am a cold hearted bitch out here in New York. And this shit just really it brought me back down to earth and like

I loved it. I just I really, really loved it. And this is going to sound crazy, but it restored my faith in humanity a little bit, specifically women, primarily in women.

We don't realize how much we have to offer each other and how strong we are as a unit and how we should be leaning on one another. We really, really don't. And there's so much power there. And it was just so beautiful. And I could start crying. So that was Tulum. I mean, I'm not going to say there was like no debauchery that happened whatsoever. It is me after all.

But I will absolutely be doing something like this again. I mean, when I heard health and wellness retreat, I thought journaling, yoga, you know, green juice, which are all wonderful. I didn't know it was going to get this deep and be this transformative for me.

Now I'm back in New York. It's been a little bit of an adjustment, just maintaining that mental health of mine with my happy light and my vitamin D supplements because there is no fucking sun here and self-tanner.

Which, quick side note, I used to get regular airbrush booth spray tan thingies, whatever. Whatever it is where the lady holds a gun to your vagina. Yeah.

And your spread eagle. And have to like spread your lips open for her to like get them bronzed, you know? And those were phenomenal. Because I personally never, ever, ever, ever, ever in my life used self-tanner. No thank you. Way too fucking scary. When it comes to me and beauty care and...

Just anything that has to do with appearances, like,

I know the basics, like I can get away with shit, but like I am not good at styling my hair. I am fucking, I am still learning how to do a cat eye with eyeliner and I would never touch self-tanner with a 10 foot pole. So anyways, there was one night and I couldn't get an appointment with my spray tan girl. So I frantically, manically started going through

all of the tanning product that I have. Well, you're like, okay, so if you don't fucking self tan, why do you have so much tanning product? It's called PR packages and they are sent to me. Okay. Because I am that bitch. All right. Not to brag. So I start looking through this product and I

I come across Tianologist and for whatever reason I picked that one, maybe because their PR package was the cutest.

Whatever fucking reason, I used it and I spread it all over my body like butter on turkey for Thanksgiving and prayed to fucking God that I would wake up not looking like leprosy Barbie, pageant queen, blotchy bitch. And I woke up looking like

Fucking amazing. Like this shit is no joke. Best tan I've ever had right up there with the big dogs. It looked as if it was professionally done. So basically, ever since then, I definitely have been stalking slash begging them to work with me.

They're probably going to block me or get a restraining order. I do not care, but I just thought I would be a girl's girl and let you guys know if you are in the market or looking for a self-tanner, Tanologist is a great one and we don't gatekeep over here. If you want to battle depression, you got to look the part. That's all I was saying. So put on whatever self-tanner it is that you use.

Slather that on, be bronze, be glowing, be looking hot, because that really genuinely helps with your psyche. You will genuinely feel better and more importantly, look hotter.

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Your cash back really adds up. Let's talk about some more fucking therapy. A little different type of therapy. Some Western medicine shit. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. Holy shit. I really sound like I belong in the loony bin. Like I'm a fucking nutcase. So I'm in his office. I'm telling him about Tulum.

I'm like, I need a fucking refund because whatever the fuck you've been doing up in here is costing me a lot of fucking money and has not helped me anywhere near as much as two and a half hours in Tulum did. Okay. Just kidding. He's great. He's a new psychiatrist, by the way. So we're just kind of starting to peel back the layers of the onion and the onion is me.

And he hit me with some psychoanalysis discovery channel shit that I have never heard before in my life about myself. So basically, I'm talking to him about my relationships and he brings up the fact that I like bad boys.

Which has never, I've never thought that of myself ever, ever, ever. If you were to look at my dating history, my ex, complete opposite of a bad boy. Are you fucking kidding me?

Ivy League, fucking buttoned up. Like, no, no, no, no. I'm not into bad boys. I mean, yeah, like they're fun. I'm not not into them, but I'm not one of those girls that's just attracted to the bad boys. You know what I'm saying? So I explained that to him and he tells me that

He thinks that I suffer from the Madonna whore complex. And I actually start laughing in the office and I'm like, um, are you calling me a slut, a slew? Yes. Yep. I'm wearing a hoodie that says that. I totally agree with you. I definitely could be part of that. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You suffer from the Madonna whore complex, but in reverse, right?

That's some fucking inception backwards shit. So you're telling me, doctor, that after hearing me rant about my relationships, you think that I see men as

As kind of the Madonna whore complex situation, which let me explain what that is for people who don't know. And honestly, I thought I knew what it was up until this fucking appointment. Like I kind of knew and then he broke it down. I was like, oh, OK, I was a little bit off. Like I thought Madonna was the whore for some reason, which might be kind of fucked up. But like Madonna is an icon and.

has kind of paved the way. But the Madonna in this situation is a saint, okay?

So the Madonna is a saintly type woman and the whore is... And basically what the Madonna whore complex is, is a complex that men have where they put women in two boxes. You have your Madonna box, right?

who is saintly and virginy and all dressed in white and da-da-da-da-da-da. And then you have your other box, which is the whore. The prostitute, the sugar baby, the slew, the whatever. And in this theory, the man is sexually attracted beyond belief

To the whore. But cannot find himself sexually attracted to the Madonna saintly type woman. And these are not my words, by the way. This is like some Sigmund Freud shit. And it's not like some Sigmund Freud shit. That dude literally pioneered this entire theory. So I'm like...

Okay, doctor. So you're basically telling me that I am the man in this situation. And from what you've heard from my relationship history, I have men in two boxes and the ones I like to fuck are bad boys, but I don't take them seriously. Yeah.

And then the ones I take seriously and are not bad boys and are good guys, my vagina just dries up like a dryer sheet is basically what you're telling me. And you said, I mean, I don't know if that's for sure, but I think it's something to look into. And I personally am still trying to wrap my brain around that.

Because I tried to argue him on it. I told him, I said, hey, again, my ex was not a bad boy. Okay. He was a good boy. A very, very good dog. A golden retriever of dogs. On paper, not a bad boy whatsoever. And I was sexually attracted to him. And then my doctor asked me, well, was that always the case? Or towards the end, did it change?

And I'm going to leave that open-ended, but I think you guys already know how that fucking relationship ended. So maybe he's fucking right. I suffer from the Madonna whore complex as a woman. And I would love to hear from other sleuths listening, like, do you feel this way? I only want to fuck a dude who's just kind of a fuckboy and a piece of shit.

And the guy that's like respected and holy or whatever, I'm like, get the fuck out of here with your dumb ass Madonna dick. I don't know. I mean, I think there's, you know, some truth to it, but I feel like I'm smarter now.

than one of those girls who just falls for the fuck boy and likes guys that are assholes because i can tell you something right now i do not put up with a dude being an asshole to me under no circumstances

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came across my ex's new girlfriend yesterday. So my ex and I, we have been broken up for eight, nine months now, I would say. I have not seen him. I have not spoken to him. I mean, I tried reaching out a couple of times. I'm not going to lie. He did not respond.

Because I think I kind of, you know, blew up that relationship nuclear style. But that is a story for a different time. But we have not seen each other in those eight, nine months. We have not spoken. Like, as far as I knew, he was dead. Dead or alive. I mean, he doesn't have social media, right?

So that's the thing. It was like, I'm either running into this dude in the middle of fucking Tribeca when I'm grabbing a coffee randomly or that's it. You know, game over. Like there is no social setting. There is no party. There is no event that I would ever fucking run into this dude. And let me just tell you, fantastic. Fantastic.

I mean, I am so fucking happy that social media was not something that I even had to think about or deal with for the past however many months. But like if I would have come across her, this girl immediately after our breakup, I

Holy shit. I mean, I would have gone fucking nuts. So yeah, he doesn't have social media. I have just been living in my little safe bubble cloud. And then yesterday I'm sitting on the couch and like some fucking nightmare fuel, I see a picture of me

My ex, the reason I saw it is because we have a mutual friend who I love very, very much. And this said mutual friend was out with him and the girl and he posted the three of them on his story because he is allowed to and should and was friends with him first, by the way.

And that's how I came across the picture. And I chucked my phone across the living room and I was like, no fucking way. I forgot that person existed. And it just I think any time you hear about your ex moving on and having a life without you, you're

It just is a little bit jarring. And I don't think that means that I'm still in love with him and I still like him and I'm not over him and I'm jealous and didn't, like, it's not like that. It is someone that you spent a really good chunk of your life with and it's a little bit crazy to see them, you know, living their completely new life without you. I had him stuck in a time warp.

You know, and I just remember him as the last time I saw him and thought that was how I was going to find him. Nope, that is not how I found him. And with the whole mutual friend thing, you don't unfriend or unfollow the mutual friend to save yourself from seeing this person. I mean, at least I don't think so. As an adult, you do not unfriend or unfollow the mutual friend.

You just don't. You can mute them, you know, you can avoid their profile, but it's like you don't, it's just you don't need to do that shit. Especially if you're dating someone as I was who was successful, their friends are probably successful and you're probably trying to keep them around, okay? It's like when your ex-boyfriend bought you a Cartier watch, right?

Oh, you're supposed to throw that shit in the trash when you break up? Absolutely not, okay? Watches, bags, and friends, mutual friends, stay. So yeah, I saw that. It was very jarring. And intellectually, I knew it was happening, obviously, because what fucking dude keeps their dick in their pants for longer than three days? They just don't. But...

It was just still a little bit kind of crazy to me. And I think I'm kind of like stuttering and beating around the bush. And I just want to flat out say it. Me and this dude had a pretty significant age gap where he was older than me. And to my knowledge, I think I was one of the oldest girlfriends he had had.

And then I did like a healthy amount of stalking. All right. When I found out about the new girl, I chose honestly to take the healthy route and not completely stalk her or hate on her because I'm a fucking adult. But one tidbit of info that I learned that stuck out to me was that

This girl is 26. I'm 30, okay? He is significantly older than this gal, okay? Over 15 years older. He was older than me by a significant amount. And, you know, I thought as you age, you kind of date people who are aging along with you. But apparently, like, he's still, he's chillin'.

Right where he started. Because when I started dating him, I was also 25, 26. So that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. And I didn't love it. And it's not a shocker at all because so many fucking dudes date younger women. In fact, hi, I'm not going to sit here like the biggest hypocrite on planet Mars, but

I have openly talked about how I think age differences in relationships are perfectly fucking fine. And I dated a dude who was 17 years older than me. I dated a dude who was 11 years older than me. Like, I have dated dudes that were older than me and have been a huge advocate for it. But you know what?

I was justified in looking for my father in these relationships. No, I'm totally kidding. I have a fucked up sense of humor, but I take it all back. Now, I think it's fucking weird. I think it's creepy. It's definitely a pattern, which I didn't really know when I was in it. I think I was like kind of like,

yeah looking for my dad but like yeah also living the sugar baby lifestyle but not really because I was in love with him and there was no arrangement and I made my own money but like the trips and the gifts and shit were there you know what I'm saying I want to talk about dating and age range and

and what is appropriate and what is not. And the way I'm going to talk about it is in general terms has nothing to do with my ex, okay? Or any of my exes or any older dude that I have fucked, sucked, or dated. Thank you. So I was thinking about the age gap and thinking about how I never had an issue with it until now.

And I was like, have I just become that super bitter old bitch? Because now that I'm 30, now I think it's annoying because the dudes, you know, in my age group are going for the young 20 year olds and I'm no longer like that 20 year old. And to be honest, I don't think that's it. I really, truly don't. What's happening is I'm starting to notice creepy things

of an element there is to an older dude dating a much younger woman and listen I'm not gonna get into the semantics of age of consent because you guys know just because someone is of age that does not make shit less weird like I'm not going there but what's the motive here for men

And I'm asking that rhetorical question because I already know the answer. I swear to God, I know men like the back of my fucking hand. And I always have.

There's multiple reasons, okay? One of them, this is the super obvious one, is they're looking for easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl. They don't want to deal with the fuss of a 30-year-old woman, okay?

What is the fuss of a 30-year-old woman? Well, let me explain it to you. Basically, it is this preconceived notion that is not necessarily real that when women turn 30 and from that point on, they are very intense in their relationships and

because their biological clock is ticking or the societal clock is ticking and they need to either get pregnant or get married. So these dudes are like, sorry, but I am not trying to have a baby or get married. I'm trying to just have a good time. I'm trying to just have fun. So we're just going to keep it, you know, in the 20s, preferably mid to low range.

And I don't want to sound like I'm bashing on women that are younger or women who are in relationships with dudes that are older. I just think it's something to look at because you know what? And this is another huge aspect to this whole fucking thing is there is an absolute power dynamic imbalance when you are dating someone that much older than you.

OK, it's just it is what it is. Like, I don't care if you are 21, 25, 26, 27, 28. And, you know, you won the Nobel Peace Prize and you're a fucking genius. There is a power dynamic imbalance with this dude. He has more life experience than you do, period, period.

And because of that, he can show you amazing things about the world, open you up to things that you had no idea existed. I mean, trust me, like I have been this bitch. I am not judging you. And I could easily be this bitch again. Trust me. Like it's fun. I've been there. But there's something a little bit perverse about it.

And it's kind of this like creepy factor where it's almost as if women their own age are too challenging and too on the ball and just on too much of an even playing field. And they either don't want to deal with that, right? The easy breezy life is what they're looking for.

Or they're actually inept and they can't. It kind of reminds me of that type of dude. And he's like, oh, hell no. I cannot handle someone, you know, who is the same age as me. I got to go after the young girl who maybe doesn't know as much and won't be able to call out my bullshit as much.

And this is creepy factor number 78. I think there's a little bit of like molding of the mind that they like to do, whether it's intentional or unintentional grooming. And I know it's a very loaded word, but...

That is point blank a huge factor in manipulation and whatever else. And it's not always like this crazy, horrible, disgusting manipulation that I'm fucking talking about. It's like they are able to provide guidance to you.

and provide knowledge and just experience and all of these things that you would not have without that older figure but in a way because they are making sure I mean it would be one thing if these dudes were dating all over the map right and

One day he's with a fucking cougar. The next day he's with a 25 year old. The next day he's with someone his age. You know, he eats all types of pussy. We love him. Okay, great. That's fine. When I think it's a little bit scary or gross or just kind of weird or something to look at is when it is strictly women sex.

within like a three-year age range, like 20 to 23, let's say. And as they progressively get older, the women, their ages stay the same. That's when I think it's like completely weird and kind of gross. And it kind of...

Also takes me back to this other idea and this other reasoning as to why I think men do this is I think they are losers and or feel extremely insecure and they cannot get with a woman on their level. So they prey on younger women. Okay. And you know what? It doesn't take as much.

It doesn't. Anyways, it's I went off on a tangent, you guys. I just it's something to think about. I've changed my mind on it. I'm allowed to do that. It's called growth. That fucking Tulum cacao, man. That shit will get to you. And also, what the fuck do they talk about that? What are you guys talking about?

I can't imagine, you know, when you're in your 50s and you're dating the 22-year-old, like, you're going to run into some issues where you're like, what? There is no commonality. There is no common ground. And I have no idea what you're talking about. And, you know, please take me off your TikTok. I don't want to be on there. And you're having to teach him how to fucking share a Wi-Fi password. Right.

It's just, there's something I don't know. And I don't know what age gap is appropriate is the other thing. I mean, what do you think is an appropriate age gap?

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So, I don't know, just a really interesting last couple of weeks for me, I guess you could say.

Huh, who knew I was a fucking sugar baby? Hey, if you are trying to get a girl to really be into you and stay with you or impress her, but you are fucking golem, gross, a loser, annoying, or there's something wrong with you that you know she's not gonna like, if you keep this bitch in vacay mode 24-7, 350 days a year...

365 days a year you're fucking golden because she is going to be living in fantasy land white lotus eating that shit up and it's it's just it's really hard to like not be into someone when they're taking you around the world on spectacular shit so was i saying i was fucking groomed in my last relationship whatsoever no i knowingly dated older men

And knowingly did that, knowing I was trying to fill a void slash seek something. Hi, dad. You know what I'm saying? So something to think about. I don't know. You guys write in. Tell me what you think. Leave a submission. DM me. Comment. Tell me I'm a fucking hypocrite. Whatever you want.

Can someone ask Leonardo DiCaprio? Because if someone has the answer, it is that dude. I think for Leo, it is purely physical. I think like, I don't know, during the Titanic episode,

He accidentally fell off the fucking prop boat they were using and hit his head and like stayed 19 years old forever in his brain or however old he was when he was in the Titanic. And so he's just like stuck like that.

Okay, so I think it's time to dive into questions because I have just been going through a roller coaster of emotions and it's enough about me. Enough about me. I literally don't want to hear one thing about my brain or how I function or how I think for at least two weeks.

It is now about the sleuths. It's about you guys. SOS, save our sleuths question stories advice. Question number one, here we go.

Okay. Okay.

At what age should people who don't go to college move out of their parents' house? First of all, I'm going to leave college out of this. I think college is completely irrelevant in this situation. Like, who cares? The question to me really is, at what age is it not okay to be living with your parents? And we're going to talk about this from a heterosexual standpoint.

Female writing in question. The male is the person in question. If this guy has all of his other shit together, that is way more important to me. If he is pre-med...

and he is about to be a brain surgeon and he would like to, you know, live it out in his mom's basement for a few years while he is, you know, training to be a fucking surgeon, I think that you can kindly shut the fuck up and not care. However, if this dude is living in his parents, is 22,

saving up money. I mean, I really have nothing bad to say about it. Who is this new girl? Who is this new Sophia? I don't know what's gotten into me, you guys. I really don't. Because if you would have asked me that in the past, I would have been like, what in the actual fuck? Hell no. Because I was only dating fucking men who were 90 and older, I guess. Anna Nicole Smith style. I

But I don't know. I think 22 is I think that that's OK to live with your parents at 22 years old. I also think culture plays a huge part in this because I know a lot of friends I grew up with. It was like the second you turn 18. Bye bye. My family, my mom is trying to move into my apartment as we speak right now.

And that's not a joke. And she sees like nothing wrong with it. So I think you give this guy a break. I definitely get the ick thing. But think about it this way. He's financially and fiscally responsible. And that's the type of dude you want. He's saving up his money to buy the both of you a house. So just put your ick aside. Okay? Okay?

Also, this guy better have a fucking great job and a great dick and a great personality because if those three things aren't happening and he's living with his mom, he's fucking out. All right, next question. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a while and she has had an attractive scent to me. More recently, she farted while in bed and it smelled like sewer.

It's now the scent I associate with her and it's hard to even become sexually attracted to her anymore. Not sure if I will be able to get past it. Sometimes the scent is what we associate for attraction and we can't get past it. It's biology. Okay. I'm going to try to answer this one as maturely as I can because

I understand what you're saying that a woman's scent is a huge, huge, huge point of attraction for a dude. Huge. Arguably way more important than how she visually, physically looks. Her smell is more important. That's kind of a crazy thing to think about. However, her fart is not her scent.

Leave her the fuck alone, okay? Like what came out of her butthole is not what radiates off of her body and her skin on a regular fucking basis. And I think that you have a problem. And I think it's really fucked up. And you absolutely should not judge someone on their fart, period. How about that?

Even even I. OK, I'm not going to judge a dude if he does that. I'm really not, you know, like, yeah, sure. If this girl is farting up a storm and you're starting to confuse it with her scent because there's like an actual problem. Sure, we can talk. But it was a one time fart and a one time fart.

That deserves a one-time forgiveness. Actually, fuck that. She should be able to fart as much as she wants within reason. And that should not change how attracted you are to her. I don't know though. I gotta know like what kind of fart we're talking about. Like I hope it was one of those accidental, I was trying to keep it in...

But it just whistled its way out. Like if it was the type of thing where she lifted up a leg and was like, hey, like I have something to tell you and then let out a fart. That's not cool. That's not OK.

That I could see being unattractive, but that doesn't that doesn't make her pheromones or whatever unattractive. OK, I am moving past this question because I need to. Next question. Hi, Sophia. First of all, love the pod so much. I have a question that I really am not able to find an answer for anywhere. OK.

When do I start splitting the bill when dating someone? Obviously, the guy covers the first couple dates. But after that, do we start going Dutch or do I pay like every third date? I just don't know the etiquette and would love some advice. Okay, so I like this girl. She's old fashioned like me and she agrees that he needs to pay for the first few dates.

Where we differ is I don't really see where that should stop, to be completely honest. You know, in my relationships, if I have decided on my own accord, hey, I want to go to the most expensive restaurant in the city I'm taking us, like, sure, I'll pick up the bill. But besides that, I'm kind of always expecting him to pick it up.

Unless it's like, you know, we're at the gas station and it's just easier for me to use my card and that type of thing. There's there's no let me tell you, this is why you're having such a hard time finding an answer to this is because there is no one size fits all here.

But I'm going to try my best. I'm going to try my best to give you an answer. It depends how much money this guy has. It depends how much money you have. And that's basically it. And if you guys are making the exact same amount of money, I still don't think you go Dutch. In fact, let me just say this for the record. Dutch is not a fucking thing. Okay? When you are with a dude...

and you guys are dating or whatever on a date, splitting the bill 50-50 is such fucking trash. It is gross. And if a guy ever, I would rather him say, can you please pick up the bill because you fucking ate every single thing on the table. Can you imagine?

I would rather him say that to me than ask me to split the bill 50-50. I swear to fucking God. That is so just gross and unattractive. And it's like, come on. Come on. I don't really believe in the going Dutch thing unless it's with your friends. I think when you're in a romantic relationship...

You guys pick up every other bill. I mean, you know, when you're super close to someone, if they're paying rent and paying for groceries and the car and fucking everything, then yeah, you should probably, you know, be picking up the movie tickets and the concert and the flight when you guys want to go somewhere. Unless he makes more than you, then he should be paying for everything.

Everything, if not most. Okay, amazing. Last question, folks. Hi, Sophia. I have a serious question. So my boyfriend thinks it's the hottest thing ever when he comes in my mouth and I swallow it.

Ooh, shocker, which I totally understand. But there is an issue. The two times I tried to swallow his cum, it probably burned a hole in my throat. His cum tasted so fucking bad. I can't even describe the taste. I literally refuse to ever taste that shit again.

How do I tell him his jizz tastes like fucking trash and that I just can't do it anymore? Love you, Sloot. We've got some battery acid sperm on our hands. I don't like that. I don't like that one bit.

Maybe you need to just fucking tell him to stop eating Slim Jims and drinking Mountain Dew and to eat a vegetable or something that is green every once in a while, you know?

So it doesn't taste like complete shit. I mean, wait, just Google it. Literally get online, look it up. There are vitamins, foods, and a whole bunch of shit that he can take to change the taste of his sperm. I like want to taste it. Like this shit sounds crazy. Like this sounds like some fucking like the hottest, hottest hot sauce ever.

That they make you sign the waiver for at like a wings place. But with no wing. Just fucking disgusting, white, milky horribleness.

Ooh, girlfriend, I am so sorry you have to go through that, but there are ways to fix it. And if you try that or if you're too scared to do that and you'd rather just not fucking swallow the cum, then next time you just say, baby, it's so hot when you tell me when you're about to cum, he'll tell you, which they usually do anyways.

Hurry, pull his dick out of your mouth and let it explode all over his stomach and face. You know?

I think, yeah, I think that's totally fair until he gets his jizz taste under control. All right, sleuths. Wow, wow, wow. I did not know it was possible for a human being to talk this long. I miss doing outros like these, though. I really, really do. I'm going to start implementing more of them.

And I will keep you updated on everything. And I will see you guys next week. And hopefully by then, it will be fucking spring or summer or something. Also, I love the winter. Love you, sleuths. Bye.