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- Hi everybody, welcome to Sophia with an F. No, I have not fucked an athlete before. Let's just get the hot fucking shit right out of the way. I am joined by Mike Majalik. Majalik, Magellan. - The fact that you just did that with my name after lying about fucking athletes is, is...
I want to walk out the only reason I'm not gonna walk out is one I love sleuths shout out to all the sleuths out there thanks for having me on thank you two I'm at WTF media studios which has burned the careers of people like Andrew Schultz flagrant to Charlotte like Charlotte this is a golden place like I feel honored to be here I was I was gonna get there but you talk so fucking much Mike that like do you want us to do the whole intro for me you you lead the podcast you fuck
You can lead it. Ask me questions. Interview me. Yes, we're WTF Media Studios. Subscribe. Just fucking do it. That's what you need to do. Mike, how do you pronounce your last name? And then I will get into who you are. Unless you want to do it yourself. It's pronounced Malak. The J is silent. It's Hungarian. I've never been there. I don't know a single Hungarian person. Okay. But the J is silent. Okay. Malak. Malak. Malak.
I was gonna say something. Say it. Just say it. Just fucking say it. Alex would have pronounced it properly. I'm just, listen, I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry, dude. Okay, do some fucking research on your guest. Honestly, she probably would. Fucking Spotify with the cube card. They have that shit down to a T. They do not let her fuck up shit.
I'm just like a one man show I mean of course I have a beautiful amazing team but Do you think they told me how to pronounce your last name? No No everybody messes it up Ever since all the way back in my t-ball days People would destroy it T-ball Yeah What is that?
What? I don't know what t-ball is. I can't work like this. What is t-ball? It's what youngsters play before they can actually hit a ball from a pitcher. They hit it off a little stand. Like a little tee, it's called. Like a little plastic bat? That's wiffle ball. Oh, no.
You know what? I wasn't planning on talking to you about T-Ball. It's fine. Guys, Mike is here, aka HeyBigMike. You are a huge YouTuber, author, podcast extraordinaire. You are co-host of Impulsive.
with Logan Paul and I'm really fucking excited to have you here that was until you gave me some shit about the fact that I have never fucked an athlete ever what about a rapper no and if you were gonna fuck a rapper would it be a Chicago drill rapper would it be cheeky yes absolutely do you know about all that
- Yo, we're gonna have fun, dude. I'm pumped for this. - No, I wanna pull up my text and show you, 'cause you would be, it's alarming. He's fabulous though. I love him. - Dude, he's a legend. - He's the best. - I mean, that's Sosa. You know what I'm saying? - Right, but you know the craziest thing? The reason we started talking is no one is more obsessed with him than my little brother, okay? Who's like 19. - Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah. - And he dressed up as him for Halloween.
And I like posted it on my story. And then he reached out to me and was like, hey, what's up? Did he like it? I was like, no fucking way. Did he just DM me off the shit? Yeah. So love him. But I have never fucked a famous person ever. You're just used to LA girls.
And like, no, not really. Yeah. But you're like in the space. So like my assumption was that like you, you probably cross paths with, but your thing is more like, I feel like your thing's more like tycoons, like CEO types, like dare I say men in suits, right?
You know what I'm saying? How many fucking references are you going to make? Well, I got to say this right off the bat. You don't know this yet. We talked. I should say we hung out last night. Okay. Till late at night. Yes. With your mom. Yes. And her boyfriend. It's not her boyfriend. It's a guy that she just recently started talking to, which we need to discuss. We need to do a whole recap. Whatever you want to talk about. So I posted this story of you and I or you on my Instagram.
Right. And, you know, I got a lot of people. Obviously, this is the first time I've sat down with you or Alex for a podcast after the split. So I got a lot of messages that were like, yo, Team Sophia, fuck you, Team Alex. And then I got a phone call this morning. Well, sorry, I got a text this morning. From? Dave Portnoy. Shut the fuck up. 10.30 a.m. No.
Fucking way. Randomly. So as of right now, it was simply to say, hey, Mike, just curious if you have time to come on BFFs tomorrow at 1.30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Didn't give me any reason. Didn't give me any understanding or any kind of anything as to why he wanted me on the show. But, you know, we'll see what happens. So you think it was related to me? He wants to bring you on to like talk shit or what?
- I should go on his podcast. - No, no, you 100% should do this show. - Do you think he would have me on? - I'll ask him tomorrow. - I don't want to, but like I would. - Well, listen, dude, this has been a really tricky thing for me because as you know, I am a little busy bee and I'm friends with a lot of people and I try to keep my peace with everybody because that's something that I'm after in my adult life is peace of mind. And so, you know. - You have no loyalty whatsoever.
- I was getting there in a roundabout way. - Correct. - That's exactly right. No, no, no, I do have loyalty actually to people that I am very close with and people that I get money with.
to be honest with you. Like, yo, like you have a squad. You guys, you guys work together. You win together. Those are the motherfuckers that I, I don't, I won't be like, oh, well now like if Logan has an enemy, that's my enemy. You know what I'm saying? Like that, that, that's how, that's how I work. But like for the entire industry, it's really hard to be like, oh, now, you know, X and Y are beefing. So now I can't be friends with the, you know what I'm saying? It's just really difficult. Right. But, but also listen, like,
I've been on BFF a number of times. I love that show. I love going on it because it's a lot of variety. They throw a million things at you. You try to do the best you can with this very young age group of hosts. Yeah, how old is that kid? Josh is what, like 20 or 21 maybe? He's young. And then Dave is however old. And so I love going on that show and I love Dave obviously and he's been a trail maker, a trail blazer in the space. And so...
And a real role model.
- Yeah, for young entrepreneurs, yes, Sophia. - For me as well. - Absolutely, absolutely. - 100%, yes, 100%. - For sure, for sure. - So he reached out to you and what was your response? - Absolutely, Dave. - You were like, "1,000%." - "1,000%, I'll be there on time for your show." - Okay, so basically you're saying I don't make you money and we're not that close. - No, I just like, it's not that at all, especially after last night, I feel like we turned a major,
I mean, you met my mom. I feel like going into last night, like it was, this was like a colleague content creator relationship. I mean, midway through last night through to like three quarters when we were like singing together and like, I,
I thought and kind of still think we're moving into the romantic phase of this relationship, to be completely honest with you. Right. But to your point, yes, I think if you were to get caught up in, oh my God, these people had beef, these people had drama, you would end up not collabing or talking to anyone. Right.
There's just petty drama across the board in the space. And honestly, like your guy's thing was very real, very real with like actual like factors and detrimental happenings across the board. But the majority of shit that happens in the space, whether it's YouTube podcast, uh, celebrity is manufactured for viewership. Right. There's an old saying, uh,
Nothing pays the bills like dirty laundry. What is it? Dirty laundry pays the bills. Dirty laundry pays the bills. People watch when they know there's going to be beef, drama, breakups. Yes. You know, resentment. Yes.
People being pissed off and funny. Reality TV has built an entire industry off that shit. I have personally gone the exact opposite route in my approach to everything. I have tried my absolute best and in my personal life as well to remain somewhat non-conflicted in my relationships with other people. I still talk to my ex-girlfriend who has a child with an NBA star now. I talk to her all the time.
hey, just checking in on you, making sure you're okay. Like, you know, our breakup was pretty amicable and relaxed. And so that's why we're able to do that. But for the most part, people across the board, I try to remain amicable with. Because honestly, like all that fake bullshit, dude, and then one day they're gone and you're like, oh, wow, that was not worth it. You know what I'm saying? Yes, yes. I mean, when people manufacture that shit, like I get it.
But after a while, it's old. It's like we know what you're up to. But also what I went through was very, very genuine. Like you were saying, like that shit was not manufactured, I can assure you. I don't judge or like not like people who are a fan of hers or are her friend or like whatever.
you know, or people like you who admire Dave Portnoy and want to suck his dick. Like I don't, I knew this was, I knew this was coming. You're still a homie. You're still a homie. I just look at Dave as another, you know, um, older person in the space. I don't know how else to really say it. He's a food guy. I'm a food guy. You know, he likes sports. I, I just think, I just think honestly, like where I'm at in the space right now is that,
I've been saying this just like nonstop lately. The culture that we are...
lucky enough, but also forced to exist in in 2022 is the wackest culture I could ever even imagine. Like if you had talked to me during the days of like 50 and like Dipset and all this shit that was going on in the early 2000s and like the rise of Wayne and all of these awesome movies and culture and fucking all the stuff that happened before that as far back as like Tarantino and all these like culture makers and creators and shifters to now be
bathing in what is this like watered down like super social media forward culture it's really hard for me so like Dave is an older guy he gets he comes from like the same kind of like style and understanding of things that I do so yeah I relate to him and I you know like there's a lot of things that he does that I like and also he's a fucking as you know a winning and successful business person which is what I aspire to be and so like yeah I look at Dave as a fucking mentor you know what I'm saying yeah
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Your cash back really adds up. Should we talk about Dave Moore? Let's make this, should we talk about Dave Portnoy? You said I wanted to suck his dick. I don't give a fuck what you want to talk about. No, he is a very smart guy and very successful. And he, you know, caught on to something very early on. And yeah, he paved the way, you know, for a lot of people and for the industry he's in. But,
But that's so interesting. You mentioned No Country for Old Men, Quentin Tarantino. I always talk about this. Someone needs to defund Netflix. Someone needs to take money away from Hulu. Like every single fucking film that's released on there is garbage. People talk about, and with exception of a few, right? And some of the shows are great. But everyone nowadays is constantly talking about
Oh my God, they completely came around to democratize this and they democratize music and they democratize movies. And now anybody can do it. And they say that as a positive, which in a lot of ways, in some ways it can be, but let me tell you,
No, not everybody should be making music. Not everybody should be making movies. Not everybody shouldn't be making TV shows. It's just the fact of the matter. And so in a world where, you know, social media followership has started to equate to anticipated success for these projects. People are like, okay, that girl is really big on TikTok. She's the actress in this movie. Right. Like, yo, I've seven or eight million, whatever it is, cross channels.
If I went to do to go to do a role against some unknown actor who had chops and they were like, oh, we're going to take Mike and this kid sitting there that has worked his whole life to be in that position. That sucks. It sucks. And you can tell and you can see through it. Well, actually, I can and you can. But it seems like a lot of people cannot. It's just the world that we live in. And I mean, it's cool. It's cool. Like, I get it. Like.
- Dude, I can't talk any real shit about social media. It's allowed me to be where I am. You know what I'm saying? It's allowed me to buy a four and a half million dollar house in the hills of Hollywood. It's allowed me to do a lot of really cool shit in my life.
I like to believe that I have an innate talent to talk and to cover. That's putting it lightly. And to do this, like obviously this is what I was meant to do, but social media has allowed me to expand and to get there, right? And so I can't talk, you know, endless shit about it, but it really has put a lot of fucking...
dumb ass people on the map that like just that just continue to fold and fuck up the culture that America's you know American entertainment has been built on and it sucks right where do you think it's going because it's already so saturated do you think it's just going to continue getting more and more saturated yeah it's just going to keep getting worse and then we're going to be left with what oh you're so dope you have no followers and no one knows who you are that's going to be like the the
I mean, I feel like in certain circles that's like, there's a lot of circles out there that social media followers work against you. You know what I'm saying? Those places still exist. There's a lot of scenes that people are like, Logan shows up to a place and they're like, yo, we don't want these motherfuckers in here. This isn't the vibe we're after. That old school shit. It's rarer now because he's crushing it in so many verticals. But back when it was just YouTube followership, that used to happen often. Yeah.
Now he's obviously a combat sports, you know, he's a fighter. He does WWE. He's a business person. Yeah. Prime, obviously shout out prime, the number one hydration drink in the world. Um, and you know, he is, but, but like,
there are places that still gatekeep against that type of, you know, just letting anyone would follow us in, right? Of course. I mean, today, full disclosure, I went to get a Kelly Hermes bag and I was like bartering with them and I said,
I'm an influencer. I'm sure you have a bunch of influencers that come in here. I'm sure you've like met some that have way more followers. But if I post with the bag, could I get a little bit more of a discount? And they told me to fuck off. I would assume that Hermes would be one of those closed circles that I'm describing that doesn't give a fuck about.
- No, that's like the, that is the one place you do not drop that line. - No, 100%. - But I mean, no shame. I'm gonna do whatever I can. - Yeah, and you already fucked the bag up. - Okay, you guys know Miss B, aka Celeste. I can't believe you, fuck you guys. Fuck everyone in this room. Love you, but hate you.
I just felt that it was a little bit, it was a gift. I felt it was a little bit big. Why are you doing this to me? We don't have to talk about it. On my show. I traded it in for something that was a little bit more practical. Shoot me, kill me, stab my eyes out. I'm the worst ever. It's fine. How do you think I feel? I didn't even know until you talked about that bag that you were talking to someone.
- That like threw my whole vibe off. - Mike, do not, you were literally hitting on my mom. - That's not true. That's not true. Your mom is gorgeous. Your mom is gorgeous. - Right.
I was doing everything in my power last night to curate an evening for you that I thought that you would find special. I made sure that they played Nirvana Radio at the bar that we were at. So you're lying. So you recommended a song and I built off of it and said, start this playlist. And me and you sat and we sang all evening long. And I thought we really were on to something. And then at 2.30 a.m., there was a massive brawl outside the bar that we were at, which you tried to get involved in. Ooh.
- Whoa, you just triggered my memory. - I know, you just remembered it, I'm sure. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, I remember that now. And what was I trying to do? I tried to run into the middle of it. - There was like a literal New York City style gang battle going on. I was waiting for somebody to pull out and you just walked in and you're like, "Guys, dude, like doing right now." And I'm like, "Bro, they were really going at it." They were going nuts, dude.
want to fucking cry right now i completely forgot i did that i was worried i heard i heard i heard a girl screaming as women we need to stick together and i didn't know what the situation was and if i was screaming and something was happening to me i would want someone to run up you were about to get shanked
Like you were two seconds away from getting shot. Okay, you know what? Let's follow what Mike would do and you just ignore... What do they say at the airport? If you see something, say something. I did not. Mike is the opposite. Okay, let's start. Let's talk about that night, okay? Because... You mean last night. Last night. Because...
We started Where did we start the night? Where was that gorgeous place you had me meet you at? I hadn't been to How many of your listeners are from New York City? A lot I hadn't been to 13th Step in a long time You know it's a NYU college bar Shout out NYU Shout out 13th Step Great New York City establishment I needed a place to meet you We hung out there for a little bit Yankees unfortunately got swept So the vibes last night were completely whack Um
So we left your mom and her mans or the guy she's hanging out with. - Right. - Came and met us. - Yes. - And we hung out and then we decided we wanted to relocate and we popped around. I couldn't get into one place because I had Adidas pants on. - And what did I tell you? - Turn them inside out or-- - I said take your pants off, just put them on inside out. You can like pass it off as slacks and you wouldn't do it. Party pooper.
So your assumption was exactly what the door guy said, which was that you thought the door guy was a moron, which you thought I was going to go back with inside out version of the pants. I had just gotten turned away with and he was going to be like, this looks about right. Come on in, buddy. These look like fucking slacks now. And then your mom flagged down a man who was walking home from fucking work all night and who was, by the way, four foot seven and asked if I can buy his jeans off him.
She thought that was a solution. And imagine me standing there like, what the fuck is going on right now? Like, what am I doing with my life? All for love. All to try to have a romantic evening with this girl who I've been literally into since the day I did the Impulsive Podcast. Have been trying to get at you for so long. I go out with your parents and you fuck my night up, bro. Mike. That's what happened. Mike. And then you tried to kill yourself in a gang fight. First of all, I.
I'm fucking shocked at what just came out of your mouth. No way my mom did that. Oh, so you were babysitting essentially. Actually, you know what? That doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that you are pretending that you've been in love with me since fucking three years ago when I met you. I will say this. When we did that show, the audience knew it and we thought it as well. If this was ever going to happen, there's the impulsive cast and there's the Call Her Daddy cast.
Logan and Alex, Mike and Sophia. It was the two blondes, the two brunettes. - I hear that. - Little bit old, little bit older, little bit for you, right? - Yes. - Kind of cracked out on our side, like a little fucked up, reckless psychopaths, like Mike going to the broom closet, doing it all. - A little darker. - Exactly, exactly. Versus them, like all American, kind of like we love Harry Styles, like that type of shit. - Right, we have a little edge.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I was trying to play on to last night. I was like hoping like, you'll play Nirvana. We were singing that song. Once again. What's it called? Teenage Dirtbag. I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby. It doesn't matter. But the fact is. So what? You were in love with me because people on the Internet were like, I stan Mike and Sophia. Yeah. Say that at our wedding. That would be incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I just thought it would be good for the community.
You know what I'm saying? And like, you shouldn't, you shouldn't walk away from that type of action. Like that, that like it could lead to beautiful things. You know what I'm saying? Right. Like more views.
Actually, that is a really good point. I mean, we just shook hands for everybody listening. Do you want to do the rest of the episode on my lap? Like, be honest. I don't because I need something in writing. I need something in writing. You want the contract first. No, I swear to God. If you promise me right now, you'll blow up my YouTube. I don't think I have the power to do that. I have the talent, the personality, the face.
- No, 100%, yeah. - I have it all. So it wouldn't even be that fucking hard for you. - No, I just don't, I don't think I have the power for like sublings right now. You know what I'm saying? Here's the thing, if we were in a relationship, like an actual relationship, like my last relationship, right, for example. - Lana. - Right. - Rhodes. - Correct. We actually did care about each other very much. Fuck it, I'll just say we were in love, right?
But, but damn dude, like everybody knows like relationships on the internet go crazy. And this is so like, this is not like what a 37 year old person should be saying or like anyone with any kind of like semblance of a brain that like should even be thinking about how,
relationship affects Hollywood or Hollywood affects relationship. But like as someone who is so fucking business focused and like number one, my main priority in life is, is, is my career. Okay. No questions asked. No, like hands down, you know what I'm saying? And then number two and like,
basically same level, maybe a little bit higher actually is my family. Cause I love my family. When I leave here, I'm going to go see my niece and my mom and my grandma and all that stuff. So I'm a big family guy, but, but I'd be lying if I said that, like, I don't try to like blend everything that I do into some sort of play. So basically like, how do we make this profitable?
Yeah Like when you go See your niece tonight You're gonna have Like a camera out You're gonna be like Thinking work Normally yes This time no Because I'm backed up On content right now But um I shot so much Over the past five days But like
You know, I'm hitting a little bit of a burnout, to be honest with you. With work? With work, yeah. I mean, three years ago, me and Lana coming into the city, shooting on a G7X. Oh, yes. With me and Alex. Yeah. You know, going out throughout the course of the day, like hanging out. That was probably three years ago. And when I tell you, like, I have not missed a week since then of my content, which takes a week to shoot, plus a podcast episode where we shoot...
you know, week after week after week plus writing a book. That's insane. That's a USA Today bestseller plus this, plus that. Again with the promo. Buy the fifth vital on Amazon. It's one of the highest rated addiction memoirs in the history of writing what we're saying. Go ahead. That's fucking huge. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home Yes, cool! or attending one live...
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I usually go take the super high road. I'll try to be a little bit more open about it, but we had a reached a toxic phase of the relationship. As everybody now knows, Lana or Amara was in a rush to start a family to have a
Family life to have a home together. Okay, as you can tell that is not my intention. I am a wild man I don't know that I will ever do that to be completely honest with you. It's just not in my fucking line Okay right now. I'm I am a psychopath. I go out I hang out with you till 4:00 in the morning I'd been in Miami all day yesterday the night before in Toledo Ohio the night before that in Orlando the night before that in LA and
I am a lunatic. And so it's very hard for me. And it's even harder for a girl to be involved in this type of lifestyle. We had a bunch of differences that reached boiling points and we had to step away from each other.
And, you know, like, do I have to say who broke up with who? No. I'm pretty sure people know how that all went down. I don't have to repeat it. Okay. And now she has a child. How did that make you feel? Because it was like pretty soon after the breakup, right? She called me after we broke up and said. I'm having a baby? No, she said, fuck that.
I'm just gonna be honest. She had done the, do you wanna cuddle? Do you wanna get back together? I'm in love with you. Let's get back together a million fucking times. And I said, yo, this is never gonna fucking work. This is a toxic relationship. We're not good for each other. Maybe in the future, whatever. Whatever I had to say. - But you can come over and we can hook up. - We stopped. We had reached the end of the real toxic fucking phase to a point where we had to stop doing it. We had to, 'cause it was just leading to horrible things because I'd have sex, we'd have sex. She'd come over, look in the garbage can, use condoms.
you know what I'm saying? Like I told you you could get head, but not to fuck anybody. What the fuck are these? Now we're fighting again. Right? Right. Disastrous. That's not how you have a relationship with someone. Yo, you can get head whenever you want, but don't fuck anybody. That's not a relationship. Yeah. Like stop. Right? Like I knew it was over. So she had called me before she,
went on this trip one time and was like, yo, I've been talking to this guy X, Y, Z. I'm not going to say his name. I still haven't. I never will. I won't be the person who expose it. But she was like, I'm going to have sex with them. And I'm giving you basically like I'm giving you one last chance to say like, yo, baby, I want you. I want to be with you forever. And my response was,
Please fuck him. Like I said, because it will help you. And this is after me. Like I had already, you know, been back doing my shit. And I was like, I really want you to go find happiness. And she doesn't, the thing that's like, like people don't understand about her because they, people don't know her. They just know the persona of her is that girl doesn't fuck.
No, I could tell when I met her. She is the most reserved person when it comes to real life. Right. Porn is obviously all fake. I'll be completely honest right now. I don't think I'm anticipating her hitting me up
soon thereafter been like, yo, I'm having a kid now. So that was a bit of a shock to the system. But at the same time, like I was just like, yo, like, so be it. You know what I'm saying? And like, I think I was in Dubai or something when she told me. Okay. And she, that girl wanted a kid so bad. Really? Like she wanted a kid. She was pregnant in the past and had a miscarriage and she was, you know, had a nursery and was so excited. And I knew I wasn't going to be the guy to give it to her. Yeah. And so like, yo, God bless, like go have that child soon.
I've hung out with the kid. He's adorable. Like they, she, you know, she's super happy with them and I'm super happy for her and there's no resentment. There's no, any kind of issue whatsoever. She's living her life. I'm living my life. We still talk. I love that. I've met her and she was really, really sweet, drop dead gorgeous. That's cool that you guys are like that.
It's hard. For most people, that scenario won't work. Especially when there's like pent up love from one party still. Because they're going to constantly like try to drive the two back together. Right. And like I showed you text messages last night. You know what I'm saying? Like you know the vibe of the scenario. You know what I'm saying? So like we have to...
Keep you know, I have to maintain a little bit of distance. Yeah, but like I do check in on her and she's doing great Yeah, good on you for like being you know real with her and like upfront cuz you know so many people lie in a relationship because they just like want to keep fucking or they just like don't want to break up but She so Lana used to do porn forever ago. Yeah, my question is
Did that ever bother you? You know, honestly, like I've been such a, and I've talked about this a million times. So just like touch on it quickly. Cause I'm sure people probably heard this before, but I,
I've been such a proponent for equal treatment of these girls. Girls do these kind of things for so many reasons. Some of them love it. Some of them are sucked into it by, no pun intended, by people that they thought were people they trusted and people they liked. Some of these girls start as strippers and are driven to do further. And then it turns into this thing. There's dependencies, there's addictions, there's substance abuse, there's mental illness.
There are so many factors that go into why women work in the adult space. And so for anybody to judge a person based simply on their work as in that profession or in that industry is so fucking flawed and foolish. We exist in this industry.
or in a society now where people love to pass judgment. Obviously, as a person in the spotlight, like I have people pass judgment about me all the time. And there's a lot of misunderstandings and a lot of miscommunications. That's just part of the game, right? But like, there's just so much that goes on inside a person's psyche of any industry, of any walk of life, that when you see them on camera, you're just simply not going to understand. Right.
You're not going to be able to understand the nuances of why people do what they do. And so people need to spend a lot less time judging other people that they don't fucking know. Just because you watch someone on a screen for fucking five minutes or for a lot of guys watching this, you've probably watched Lana for five seconds at a time, I'm sure, before you click it off. But like, you don't know these people. You
You know what I'm saying? I personally, me, have tried to put my authentic self out there for so long that people kind of do know me. I feel like people, I mean, if you read my book, you know every intimate detail of my life. You know about me smoking crack while my grandfather was dying of, you know, like dementia and Parkinson's disease. You know that I tried heroin once.
one time I tried shooting heroin one time and I'd sniff the rest of the time. Like, you know, all these intimate details. And I talk very openly about my struggles. Right. Yeah. But for the majority of people, like they don't share all that shit. So it's just unfair to like, to just judge people based on that. Lana was, Amara was one of the sweetest girls, one of the sweetest fucking girls. We just, we just didn't, we just didn't mesh. We didn't vibe. She liked, she liked,
making things out of clay and puzzles. I was like, where the fuck are you going? And like, and like dressing up and coloring. Yeah. Yeah. And like, she likes reading and I'm a, I like being out. I'm an extrovert. Here's the thing. So we would never work, but continue. We were working last night, homie. You were, we were fucking crushing it. We were singing the songs. You look like an extrovert last night. That's true. But continue what you're saying.
I was just saying, we just like, oh, some people charge up off being out there and some people charge up off being at home next to a lava lamp. You know what I'm saying? Yes. When those two people, especially people that really drastically do not like the other side and the other approach, it's sometimes hard to make that work. Yeah. Yeah.
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I want to pull up my notes that I took last night. I woke up this morning and looked at my notes, right? In my iPhone. And I am going to fucking read them right now. I like copied and pasted them. Insane. And I need you to tell me what the fuck. Okay. This is how the note starts.
- pull up took condom off and came on her. - That was supposed to be pull out. - Pull out. - You just couldn't type because you're black. - Okay, got it. Don't want to make girls feel bad after blocking on their face.
I'm assuming that meant coming. You probably misspelled again. Yes. Once again, then it says butthole. Then it says Mike would make a good boyfriend. That's what you wrote. You wrote that. Okay. Wait, you just randomly wrote that? I don't know. Maybe there is something. Wait, is this happening? I don't know. I mean, I guess.
Holy shit. Because I didn't say that, obviously. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, though. Actually, the very last thing in the note says doesn't eat pussy. Oh, so there's hell. No, there's no way we're going to date. No way. Let me let me explain this really quick. Your notes are a blind person's notes and a deaf person as well. The notes you took out of the words that came out of my mouth are so fucking wrong. Let me rephrase everything.
The first one we were talking about was a sexual escapade that I had in Miami this past weekend. Okay. From which...
I still have cum on my shirt. That you can zoom in on. I thought you were going to say you have like chlamydia or something. No, because I'm running low on clothes. No, I wore a fucking condom, which was the condom we talked about pulling off. And you were like, oh, do you usually cum inside a girl when you wear a condom? And I said, no, I pull the condom off and then just... Which is wild. It's just smart. It's not smart, but it's like... It's smart. It's a smart thing to do. Guys suck at pulling out, first of all. Like most guys are just...
become morons. Like as soon as they approach that phase, which probably, oh my God, I was going to say, which is probably how the last child we were talking about became, uh,
But anyways, that's fine. That's how a lot of kids are born, right? Like, oh, he was a mistake. The mistake was the dude has a weak pullout game. My pullout game is crazy. I'm out 10 pumps early and I'm sitting there just like a psychopath, you know what I'm saying? Or just getting head to finish, right? So if I wear a condom and I know I'm about to come in like the next 30 seconds, I'm going to stand up
yank the girl around, take the condom off and then because it's, you know, unlike those animalistic settings, that's the kind of shit that's going on. - Yes, that's fair. Valid. - So that's what we talked about in that circumstance.
And I know I could see you. I could visualize you right now telling a guy to choke you. Are you hard right now? I'm not. You can test if you want, but I'm not. Listen to me. I'm kind of now that you asked. But listen to me. Listen to me. I can totally see you telling a guy like, pull my fucking hair. Choke me. You guys are crazy. It's never the fucking dude occasionally. Okay. But like, I'm not, I'm, I'm a sensual lover.
You asked me last night what my favorite position was. I'm sorry. Mike, do you say you are a sensual lover? If you're going to go back to your not eating pussy part, I'm going to get angry. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the fact that you make sure to take the condom off of your penis just so you can splooge on the girl. What is sensual about that?
Why can't you save her makeup and come in the fucking condom? I don't think there's anything more central than the contact of bodily fluids to face. I think that's essential. I don't know. I don't know. I just feel like that's like the coup d'etat. Just tell me why you take the condom off at the end. Because this is like a protein thing. This is like a fetish. You're fetishizing. You're fetish shaming me.
I'm not. You're kink shaming me. But don't try to call this shit sensual. No, no, not that part. Okay. That's just, okay, that part's for me. Okay, fine. Deal. Okay, but let me say that part's for me. But you asked me what my favorite position was last night. I love missionary sex. Me too. Really? Mm-hmm.
I didn't. That's amazing. So that's great for us. I mean, check, check, check. Okay. So backing up to two inches here, which is all I have to work with. Obviously, the vacuum two inches. Women are not like, dude, guys watch porn. Right. And they, I mean, I watch porn, but they start to get this assumption that women
When I finally have sex, you're like the next girl I hook up with, I'm going to throw her over the fucking counter. I'm going to pull her hair and fuck her doggy style until she comes and launch her lifeless corpse into a vat of acid. Because that's what girls want. Girls don't. Girls. There are some girls that want that.
don't get me wrong but like girls like to feel psychologically attached and appreciated and comforted and secure in a sexual atmosphere especially in especially in somewhat random encounters like where like like you have to learn how to make a girl feel appreciated and loved in even in those casual encounters where you don't have that psycho psychological or emotional um
connection, right? Because you just met them three hours ago at fucking live or whatever, right? Or at Swan and whatever. So the missionary position gives me the ability to be very
and it's very versatile position because I believe that like cradling a girl's head during sex. - Ooh, I like that. - Right? Like, and it also gives me access to their neck, which obviously is just for guys that know is game over. Like that's where you should be spending a lot of fucking time. - What the fuck does that mean? - Well, do not like when a girl, when a guy licks your neck.
- Kisses your neck. - Yeah. But it's not like game over. - I think it's a pretty sure shot. - Okay, well you just, the way you explained it, you're like cradle her head, then the neck, and fucking it's game over. - You get a shovel. - I'm like, what kind of game over
- You're just going the opposite direction with what I'm saying. - No, but I get you now. - Okay. And then also like you have access to like the lower extremities as well. So you could prop a leg up. You can obviously use both hands if you want to hit the clit, like whatever. So there's just, you have a lot of options, right? - You know how to have sex, I can tell.
I like to imagine so, right? I mean, I am also 37. It's a huge part of my life. And I think, you know, like that, the idea of being good in bed scares a lot of guys. And I think it's just something that, of course, guys, a lot of guys go into sexual encounters feeling less than. And it's partially on you guys to do what is possible to make better.
both people need to be doing what they both can do to make the opposite party feel comfortable in the bedroom. Right. And so like, if you're a guy listening to this, you need to figure out what the fuck that means. And there's a lot of things that go into that. There's a lot of things that go into lighting. There's a lot of things that go into music. There's a lot of things that go into just the way you talk to a girl before. And more importantly, after a sexual encounter,
This is what we talked about last night with me not wanting to make girls feel bad, which you wrote in your notes. There's just certain things you don't do. Like, like there's guys out there who think it's cool to like,
come and then smack a girl's ass. Good job, champ. And like send them out the fucking door. Like throw the rag, throw the rag at her. Do you want to know what I do? What? I bring a hot towel back. And you wipe it for her. Yes. I said personally, like a fucking chauffeur. I imagine you walking out, you know, like when you're at a restaurant and the waiter has the rag over their arm, like that's how you walk out. I do. And I have this thing where like, I'll just be like, fuck, this is so weird. What? What?
Sometimes I'm like clean up aisle seven and like, well, because I like to add comedy into it. No, I love that to make her feel comfortable because it is a very vulnerable, weird feeling when you're fucking laying there covered and come and you, you don't want to stand up cause then it's dripping. And it's like, I'm a little bit helpless right now. Do you understand? We could do the show. We have to do another show for like six hours because what you're describing right now is like,
The most vulnerable stage of a female's existence in the bedroom, especially in the casual encounters department and also a place where a lot of women make big mistakes. Unfortunately, like you have to become an oil painting that's drying in that moment. I have had girls who have, you know, like if you come on a girl's stomach or on her ass, whatever it is, basically, like,
In that scenario, girls, gravity is the only thing you should be concerned about. If the cum is on your ass, the ass stays facing up. If the cum is on your stomach- Okay, so don't move around. Don't move. I will be back in one minute.
I say this, yo, I'll be back in one minute. All you have to do is stay here. And I'll say that while I'm already on the way to get a hot towel and another towel to dry after. Like I have the shit down, right? Just fucking stay there. I've come back and had girls burritoing into the fucking down comforter. No fucking way. Burritoing into the down comforter. I'm like, I've literally stopped in my tracks like this and just said to them, why? Why?
Why are you doing that right now? I got cold. You are covered in knot right now. There's no way. And now my bed is loaded with cream filling. You have turned my bed into a yodel. There's no fucking way. Like a ho-ho cupcake. So there's girls who think it's okay to just chill in it, to not take care of it whatsoever. Well, those girls exist too. That's insane. Not the blanket girl.
divers but there are a bunch of girls out there who like are yanking on your hips for you to not pull out because they want to get nutted in and sit and just let it stew like that's a big thing you like tell me really quickly you've definitely been in a relationship recently I know that and have been in a couple right where like you probably like like there's really no more signal of romantic like togetherness than finishing inside a girl yes right about it
So like, so like there's something to be said about girls who enjoy that, right?
But if it's on you, like, I just don't understand why you have to turn the bed into a fucking freak show, a crime scene. I've never heard of a girl doing that in my entire life. If I wanted to take care of it, I would put my hand underneath it. Correct. You know, kind of scoop it up, go to the bathroom, take care of it. Yeah. I've never heard of this. I, Mike, I wish we could fucking talk for seven more hours. Actually, we are going to before you go back to LA. I haven't told you yet, but you are.
uh, we need to wrap this up. We'll talk about you hating, uh,
Oh, can I say one more thing? No, no, no, no, no. No, you are not. You're not leaving me on that. That sorry. That is one place. I love eating. I told you that I don't eat random pussy. That is what I told you. Okay. And, and, and honestly, like just, I'll make this really quick. It's actually fucked up because there is this like strange belief set that it's almost expected for this hook girl that you're hooking up with from a bar or a club or whatever to suck your dick. But it's so,
so strange for a guy to just be eating like pussy on like a one night stand. Okay. You're living on Saturn and I'm living on earth because I feel the exact opposite. I expect that someone's going to eat me out. Giving a guy a blow job that I just met. Absolutely not. I'm also just so you know,
- A good guy. - No, I'm getting, no. - He's a good guy. - That is true. But I'm getting out of that phase too. This is all just from like past experience. - Would you eat me out? - 100% right now. - Okay, amazing. - Like literally right now. - Amazing, okay. - But I know you though.
You know what I'm saying? Like, I absolutely know you like pretty intimately. Right. You met my mom. I met your mom. Like, we're working in reverse. We should have done that before I met your mom. Right. Right. All right. Well, guys, for everyone listening, I will let you know. I will update you on what Mike and I do right now. Mike, where can they find you? Your book...
Hey, Big Mike Instagram. I mean, I don't know. It's all on the internet. Buy the Fit Vital on Amazon. Yeah, that's the best thing I ever did. We didn't talk about addiction. We didn't talk about mental health. I know I wanted to, but... We'll talk about it next time. Buy the Fit Vital on Amazon. And more so, please watch me on Impulsive. Those are the two things. Fit Vital, Amazon. Watch me on Impulsive and subscribe to Impulsive. We have a great show. We talk to a lot of great guests. And it's a ton of fun. And I love you. And I really do hope that we can... Continue the conversation and date slash maybe...
Get married. Correct. We don't know. Yes. And you guys know where to find me. So we have an F, Franklin with a Y. On TikTok, I just fucking got verified and there's no longer a zero at the end of my name. Okay? So I'm making fucking big ass moves. Okay? You are. I'm proud of you. Thank you so much. I will talk to you guys next week. Bye. Bye.
