99: Venmo Friends or Foes 58:29

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Hey goblins and ghouls and ghosts. Hi everybody. Welcome to Sophia with an F. My name is Sophia with an F. How is everybody doing? Great. Amazing. Love that for you. I'm doing fantastic. Thank you so much for asking. I am doing this episode solo. I know I have been very guest heavy recently and I love that, but I think

And ultimately, I'm kind of like the most entertaining person on Sophia the Neff, right? I mean, way better than any guest I've ever had.

Okay, if you guys can't tell I'm fucking spiraling from that intro, now you know. But I'm really excited about this episode because I love when it's just me. It's kind of like a form of therapy. I just feel closer to you guys. And if you're listening and you enjoy it and you love it, please subscribe. It really, really helps me and it means the world to me. And how much more could I talk about me, me, me, me, me?

Um, what else before we jump into this? Oh, I need to make this announcement. Next week, there will be no episode. And before you come for me, I just need you guys to know that there's a reason behind it. And I'm very, very excited. It's there's there are some changes coming. Okay. I have no idea where the past two years went.

If you ask me to write down, Sophia, what happened in the last two years? What kind of growth have you gone through? What's changed?

I would draw a blank. It went by so fast and I do know I'm very, very proud of where the show is and I love you guys. And thank you so much for all the people that have been here since day one. I'm obsessed with you and I don't care if I sound cheesy because I fucking mean it.

Okay, so I'm recording in my apartment. I have not done that in the last year. I always record in the studio, but I couldn't make it this week. And so I'm sitting on the floor actually, and I'm just talking out loud to an empty room.

which is a very interesting thing. I think everyone should try it one time and then listen back to your voice and then want to jump out the window like I do. But...

I think it's the most conducive environment for me to be vulnerable and overshare, and that is really what makes an amazing episode, right? Right. I am sitting on the floor, legs straight out in front of me, pillow underneath the knees, left hand covering the left eyeball. So I am purposefully making sure I can only see out of my right eye. Why? Because I'm going blind.

I don't know what happened two weeks ago, but basically during the day, my vision, it's solid. And then the second it hits 5 p.m.,

everything goes blurry and I cannot look at my computer screen and I have to cover one eye it's kind of like when you get super drunk and you have the spins and you're trying to watch tv but you're seeing double of everything so you have to cover one eye and then you can watch it perfectly maybe that's just me I don't know but I have an appointment with an eye doctor tomorrow

I just want to get fucking glasses even though I'm wearing some right now. I'm wearing blue light glasses because... And I've been wearing them for two weeks straight and just rocking them like they're actual glasses.

Is that helping my eyesight in any way, shape or form? No, but you know what? It's working for me and I'm going to own it. And it's a placebo effect that makes sense. But having to hold a microphone in one hand and then the other hand is preoccupied by covering and shielding my eyeball. I really can't believe I did this. I ordered an eye patch off Amazon.

Is that going to be fucking nuts? Yes, but it's literally the only thing I can do. I can't be walking around my apartment holding my eye forever, you know? But this Stevie Wonder phenomenon really just had like a domino effect and it's kind of impacted like every area of my life. And basically what I mean by that is...

I'm 30, right? And everyone bear with me because I know I'm a little bit all over the place, but I am 30 and I have preached time after time after time that turning 30 means nothing. You were 29 and the only thing that changed is you can't say you're in your 20s anymore, right?

I take all of that back. 30 is the new 20. Bullshit. Don't believe it. 30 is the new 50 or the new 60. And I know that women are not going to like hearing that and are going to disagree with me, but I personally think they're living in denial. I have aged more in the last six months than I have in my entire life.

Do I know that that is a fact? Is that factual? That's the part I can't really wrap my brain around. This is what happens when you turn 30. You start playing mind games and anything that happens to you physically, you wonder if it's because of your age or if it's unrelated to that and it was going to happen regardless. For example, me going blind. I'm

I thought it was because I will spend 16 to 20 hours looking at my laptop at a time. And I thought to myself, okay, well, that's a no brainer. You should not be looking at screens for that long. And that's why you're having this problem. And then I spoke to my mom and she gave me a reality check. And she said, it's your vision and you need to get it checked and you need to get glasses checked.

And I thought to myself, holy shit, you are literally the dad at the Cheesecake Factory who pulls his phone out and turns the flashlight on to read the fucking menu. That is you. And it freaked me the fuck out and I just went spiraling. My knees, K-N-E-E-S. I have always had knee problems. My knees always fucking hurt.

I'm pretty sure it's from cheerleading my whole life and being a gymnast my whole life. And that's competitive cheerleading, by the way. Who is the best? The best in the West. Max All-Star Cheer. We are the best, okay? But I've always had issues. But now all of a sudden, it just means I'm old as fuck. My under eye bags...

Go down to my cheekbones. Why? Hmm. I don't know, Sophia. Maybe it could be because you have been dealing with insomnia for the past few months and you're dehydrated as fuck and you don't take care of yourself.

I don't know. Maybe that could be where it's coming from. But no, everything is happening because of the big 3-0. I had a piece of lint in my hair the other day, like a little fuzzy, a little white one. And I went to the mirror and I was like, oh my God, your hair, that's your first gray hair. And your hair is turning white and you're graying or whatever. It was a little tiny fucking piece of fluff from my bed.

That's the type of shit I'm talking about. So all you girls in your 20s, girls and gals, you are in for a wild ride once you turn 30. It's really, really fun. Okay, enough about me, you guys. Let's jump into the episode. And I want to start by talking about

Something that I had to deal with last week, and I've actually dealt with this on numerous occasions. I know a lot of people had, and I don't know what the name for it is, but what me and my friends call it are...

Venmo friends and it's not just Venmo. It's cash app. It's PayPal. It's any platform where you ask someone to pay you. There is a very special place in hell reserved for you guys and I literally cannot stand you and I'm about to call you out. Okay, there is a certain etiquette that

when you decide to cover someone and pay for someone with the intention of that someone paying you back. It is a very delicate dance that you have to do and I'm not being fucking dramatic. I am being dead serious here and I have stopped being friends with people who didn't know how to go about Venmo requesting me.

And I know I sound fucking insane, but I bet you once I explain this, everyone is going to fucking understand what I'm saying. There are so many do's and don'ts when it comes to this type of shit. If you are the type of person and you spend our entire vacation or a good portion of it in your little notebook, scribbling away, tallying up,

the margarita you bought me at the bar two days ago, and then just down to the decimal. I mean, if after the trip you want to Venmo request me, that is completely fine. If you hit me with a Venmo request that has a decimal and you calculated that shit to exact change,

I am disgusted by you and there is something wrong with you. And there is never a reason that the Venmo should have a decimal and there should be change involved. You always round up or round down. Okay? That's number one. Number two is...

Having to stop the fun and stop the festivities because you are so desperate to make sure the people give you your fucking money on the spot. For example, you decide you and your four friends are going to Uber and go to the club. Amazing. Love that.

and one of the friends decides they're going to get the Uber. Great. She forgot to split the Uber on the way there. That's a great sign. If you forget to do that, I love you already. You guys get to the club, and you're about to open the door and hop out and run in there and take your shirt off, but no, because your friend stops you, and she goes...

Um, guys, um, I know we're all having so much fun, but before we get out of the Uber, cause like I'm, I'm for sure going to forget. Um, could you guys just Venmo me? I just did the math. It's actually going to just be $12 and 72 cents each. If I'm actually,

I'm out and I am drunk and I am partying and I'm listening to music and I'm shaking my ass and you stop me and you get me out of that party zone because you want me to scan your little QR code on your Venmo app.

Die, die. Just I would have rather you did not offer up to get the Uber. What you can do is request the money the next day. That is proper etiquette when it comes to Venmo. There is no reason that in the middle of a fun night, you should be asking for your money back ever, ever, ever, ever. It is perfectly okay to request the money back the following day.

Hey guys, the Uber was this much. Can you guys just send me this?

Fair. I love that. Of course. Guys, I ended up spending a hundred bucks last night. I looked at my bank statement. Can you guys just Venmo me 10 bucks? Okay. That's, you know what? I'm going to let that one slide. It brings me to my next point. I don't think you should ask to be paid back if the dollar amount is a single digit.

Anything under $10 is fair game. If you get someone's Starbucks order for them, if you buy them a hot dog when you're walking through Costco and then ask them later to pay you back, fucking disgusting. Okay.

I don't, I already know I'm like losing people. I don't want to come off like some rich brat who doesn't know how the real world works because that is not me. I have been wealthy and thriving. I have been broke as fuck and didn't have money to buy groceries. Okay. I have been both. I have lived both lives.

And I know what it's like to not have money and to not know when you're going to eat next. Okay. And if you would have asked me during that time how I would have handled this whole Venmo situation, you know what I would have told you?

I wouldn't have offered to pay for someone because I was holding on to every fucking dollar that I owned. There was no way I was going to be like, oh, let me pick this up for you. Absolutely not. If you don't have money, then you shouldn't be offering in the first place. Once you decide to offer, that's when these rules come into play. And be classy about it, okay? Money can't buy you class, by the way.

See, this is why I should just take Sophia and F and plop it right under the finance podcast genre because this is some real shit. Do not pay for people when you can't afford it. I

I would rather you never offer up to pay for anything and I just think you're like a cheapskate. I would rather that than you offer to take care of everything and then you are the annoying ass Venmo bitch. This is real shit and you guys know it.

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Your cash back really adds up. Okay, we're going to do a serious swerve now. I am getting off my trivial shit and I want to talk about mental health. I want to talk about being in a relationship with someone who is dealing with a mental health issue. I have never really heard someone talk about this.

At least not in detail and at least not in depth. And it's so fucking prevalent and I don't know why people don't talk about it. There is a very good chance you are going to find yourself in a relationship where you either are struggling or your partner is struggling. And this is a very tricky...

thing to deal with and to figure out how to navigate. Honestly, I am not saying get over your mental illness. I am not saying I know how to get over it.

I'm not even saying this is what you should and should not do in the relationship. I am just talking from personal experience and giving you guys my opinion on how I've dealt with it. And I have been both parties, right? I have been the person who was dealing with mental issues. And I've also been the person who was dating someone who was dealing with their own shit.

We rarely talk about how hard it can be for both parties because it is hard for both people involved. Let's say you're the person who is dating someone who is dealing with a mental health issue.

And you at that moment in time are feeling stable and feeling great about your life, but your partner, not so much. They're struggling. Where do you draw the line between caring for your partner and caring for yourself? Because there is a line.

How much is your partner and the situation draining you? And I think people feel that it's not okay to even ask themselves that question because they love this person and this person is struggling. But it is more than okay to ask yourself that. That doesn't mean you don't love your partner. That doesn't mean you're ready to give up on them. It means none of those things, right?

You have to take care of yourself in a relationship. And it's just, it's a really tricky, hard thing to deal with because, like,

You know your partner is struggling mentally, so you kind of just turn into a recluse. I mean, that's what I've done in the past. You don't want to throw them off. You don't want to trigger them. Sometimes you feel like you're walking on eggshells.

And the relationship is no longer a relationship. It has turned into a them situation. It's not about the two of you. It's constantly and consistently about that person because they're the one in pain.

Obviously, if your partner is struggling, you do everything you can to take care of them and try to help them get better. Obviously. I'm not saying you don't do that, but there are situations where you cannot continue going on with that dynamic. If you feel as if

You cannot bring up your own issues and you have completely stopped caring about your own needs so you can take care of the other person. That is not healthy for either of you. You cannot take care of someone if you're not taking care of yourself. Bottom line, that's it. I think the key here is

to be understanding and to be patient, to be available, to be supportive, but not at the extent of your happiness. Ever, ever, ever. You are not helping someone if you also find yourself in a not great headspace. And I think a lot of focus in relationships is on the person struggling with a mental issue

And we don't really take into account how the other person in the relationship feels because we feel like that person has no right. Oh, you're not the one dealing with, you know, crippling anxiety, clinical depression, etc.,

that that doesn't it. I mean, that matters, of course. Hi, I have spent countless days with clinical depression. I used to be on antidepressants. I'm not anymore. I have been the person with a mental health problem in a relationship, but I've also been the other person. And we don't talk about that enough. What you can do is find

Do your best and do your best while keeping your sanity and your happiness in check because that's how you're going to be the best partner for your partner. If you let those things fall to the wayside, you're not going to be happy, which really in turn is going to make your partner not happy and the whole thing is going to blow up and you cannot feel guilty about

If the relationship does get to a point where you feel like it's too much. Because sometimes it is. You're not a therapist. You are not well equipped enough to deal with this situation.

And you know what? You have every right to walk away. And I think it's so hard because you think to yourself, how am I going to abandon this person when they're at their worst? What is this person going to do if I walk away and they're already in such a dark place? And you have to remember that it's not on you and it's not your responsibility to

It is your responsibility to be there for them. You are in a relationship. You took, I mean, I was about to say you took a vow. I mean, once you decide to be someone's boyfriend or their girlfriend, it is a form of taking a vow. You decide that you're going to be with that person at their best, at their worst, etc. But sometimes it gets to be too much and it is okay for you to walk away.

On the flip side, if you're the person dealing with a mental health issue, it is very important that you keep your expectations in check. Your partner should be your support system.

They shouldn't be your savior. They should not be your lifeline. And I understand more than fucking anyone. Trust me, I have been in deep, dark, horrible places in my mind where I felt like someone had to be my lifeline. I get that. I totally understand it. But you can't live your life over extended periods of time feeling that way.

You just, you can't. And if you are living your life thinking that this person is your rock and the only way that you can be happy or thrive or get out of a situation, you are completely setting yourself up for failure. No one can be in charge of your happiness ever, ever, ever. It's going to end badly if you do that. And then there's like this thing that happens where...

it turns into a little bit of a vicious cycle. Mentally, you're already in a bad headspace. And then you start to feel even worse about it because you feel like you're a burden to your partner. And then you start keeping things to yourself or faking that you feel good or happy. And then it just kind of takes this mental thing you're dealing with and

isolates you. It makes you feel worse about it because there's like some shame involved, heightens any negative feelings because you're scared that you are a burden and you are basically like pushing this person away. It's not a nice place to be. And I think if you find yourself in this situation, don't be scared to express your feelings to your partner ever, ever, ever.

You just need to express it in a way where you understand what is happening. And what I mean by that is it's not fair to put everything on your partner, right? It's just not. It's not their job to make you happy. It's only your job and...

You need to just express to your partner that you want to feel better and you are going to do something about it outside of the relationship. Listen before people fucking burn my apartment door down with pitchforks.

I understand that if you are suffering from depression, anxiety, etc., it can be very hard to take action. It can be hard to get out of bed that day. I have been there.

But when you're dealing with a partner, their happiness and their mental health matters just as much as yours. And I think it's important to tell that person, I'm having a really hard time. I really need you right now. I need you to take care of me. I'm going to be needy. I'm going to be over the top. But I want you to know that I'm willing to...

take this outside of our relationship to get help because bottom line is that is what you need to do. Your partner is not the one who is here to save you. If you feel like you cannot express to your partner how you feel and you have to hide it from them, that is not a good sign.

It means either you are just feeling insecure and you're in your head and you need to deal with that. You should be able to rely on your partner to a certain extent. Or it could mean that your partner has reacted poorly to you telling them how you feel and

And so you don't want to tell them again because you saw how they reacted the first time or you just don't feel secure in the relationship. If your partner reacts poorly when you express issues you're having, they got to go. Bye. Maybe not in that moment because that's probably the last thing you want, right? Because you really, really need them. On the flip side, do not stay with someone because you are worried for their mental health.

This doesn't do anyone favors and it is the most stressful fucking situation to be in. You feel bad. You feel guilty. You are scared about what they might do. It is not your responsibility. Okay? And if you do that, if you stay with your partner just so, you know, you don't have to deal with all of that,

Your partner is going to stay stuck in the same pattern of relying on you and not getting help. And you will drive yourself crazy in the process and jeopardize your own mental well-being. I actually had a therapist tell me, and it's always stuck with me. I remember he told me that it is very important to learn to self-soothe. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And yeah,

It was because I had just expressed to him and explained to him this breakup has been really hard because this guy was my rock and my support system and he was the one person in the world who knew exactly what to say and exactly how to calm me down and just my security blanket, my go-to. And now that's ripped away from me like how am I going to be safe? How am I going to survive?

And my therapist said, listen, people get in relationships and a lot of times even subconsciously expect that their partner is going to take all of their problems away. That's not what a relationship is. The more you rely on someone else to give you the feeling of security or happiness, the more dependent you become on them.

And the self-sufficiency just, it starts to crumble. And it's not good for either of you guys. You know, the more you can practice taking care of yourself and self-soothing, the healthier your relationship is going to be. And I hate to say this, relationships end. They do.

And I'm not saying when you enter a relationship, you know, go into it thinking it could end. But you should just be prepared. Could I be happy? Could I survive? And could I thrive without this person? You should be able to answer that question with a yes, period. Will you be sad about the breakup? Will you miss them? Will it be hard? Absolutely. But you're not going to go up in flames.

You don't want to be left in pieces because you lost yourself in the relationship. They became your source for living. Absolutely not.

Boundaries. If you are in a relationship with someone dealing with a mental health thing, boundaries are so important. You might start to have feelings like, is this my fault? Am I a trigger? Do I make this person feel worse? And that in turn can make you feel like shit and that's not fair to you. Do you take their actions personally but in the same breath of

Hold them accountable and differentiate when someone is genuinely struggling or when they're just being a dick. Okay, that's like a real question. Mental health struggles are not an excuse to be a piece of shit. Let me repeat.

I love how I'm like I'm preaching when in reality I fucking act completely out of pocket and inappropriate and I'm not even dealing with the mental health thing so I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about but you cannot act you cannot cross boundaries and you know just do some really fucked up shit and

on behalf of this mental health thing that you're dealing with. Never, ever, ever. I understand sometimes you feel like there's just no way out and there's no hope and that gets to your fucking head. That doesn't give you an excuse to act out. On the other hand, you cannot under any circumstances use your partner's mental illness against them.

They're not crazy, okay? They're not fucking crazy. They are dealing with someone and you can never, ever, ever, ever, ever under any circumstances throw that in their face, okay? You can throw it in her face, the fact that she cheated on you. You can throw it in her face that, you know, she's fucking annoying as shit and leaves her clothes everywhere. Like whatever the fuck it is, throw it in her face, okay?

Her mental health shit or his mental health shit should not be brought up in an angry tone and to justify you hating them or you not liking them or you fed up with them. That is never okay. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go.

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Okay, if you are with your boyfriend right now, I suggest you go ahead and take your AirPods out and play this shit on surround sound. So one of my favorite things about having insomnia is the amount of time I get to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and think about shit.

It's really, really lovely. And if I'm super lucky, like last night, I have full blown revelations. Okay, magical New Testament style angels, cherubs, rosy cheeks coming from the heavens, the whole shebang. And for straight men listening, this concerns you as well. So listen the fuck up.

What is the one thing that men wish women would do more besides suck their dick? What's the one thing women could do more according to men? Initiate sex. Ladies, how often do you initiate sex with your man? And don't everyone speak at once.

Okay, I'm fucking, I'm hearing crickets and maybe that's because I'm literally in my apartment alone and it's like 3 a.m. Or maybe it's because you guys never initiate sex. Well, neither do I and neither do my friends. Why? Like why is it that women rarely are the ones who initiate sex?

I think, I mean, at a basic level, women are set up to be pursued, right? We expect the guy to ask us out on the first date. We expect him to text us first. And we can blame the patriarchy trying to make women subordinate creatures in general, yada, yada, yada. That is not why we don't initiate sex.

This is how every relationship I've ever been in has gone down, okay? We are six months in. Things are going great. The newness of the relationship is just barely starting to wear off a little bit. And I have nothing to preoccupy my crazy. So what I do is I start feeling pressure to spice things up.

That either means I start a fight or I start analyzing the fuck out of our sex life. How do I keep him interested? I think every single woman at some point has questioned her libido. Is my sex drive low? Do I give it to him enough?

What's wrong with me? Why don't I want it as much as everyone else? And when you start asking yourself these questions, you start to feel inadequate. Oh my God, his exes must have wanted it all the fucking time. And we feel bad that we're not

freaks or some girl from the front page of Pornhub or his ex who was Mrs. Energizer Bunny wanting it all the fucking time. Obviously, you don't know what sex with his ex was like, so you should probably let that one go. But you know for a fact that he initiates sex a hundred times more than you do.

factually. And not only are you not initiating the sex, you are turning down sex multiple times a day because his sex drive is so high. And now you find yourself in this predicament, okay, I got to figure out a way to be the horniest, thirstiest, sluttiest sex demon he's ever fucking met. You know what?

Good luck figuring that out, honey buns. Honey bunches of oats. You know why? And this is the real reason why you are not initiating sex.

It's because you don't get the fucking chance. And this is where men really need to perk up their ears, okay? The amount of dudes who write into me on a daily basis, no exaggeration, write into me saying that they just want their girlfriend to initiate sex for once or act like she wants it for once. Sir, no.

me back after you have gone a full 24 hours without trying to get in her pants.

There is not a second that goes by that your hand is not cupping her vagina, pulling her shirt down, poking her with your boner. How the fuck do you expect her to initiate sex when you are initiating it 24-7? You beat her to the punch every fucking time, which isn't hard because...

I mean, she has literally maybe a five-minute window to hurry and sneak into the bathroom while you're peeing and attack you from behind. And that is literally the only way she can initiate the sex. Or you're asleep. On top of that, we have to turn guys down. If we didn't turn guys down every time they initiated sex, every time they wanted it,

we wouldn't have jobs. We wouldn't be functional human beings. There's just, there's no fucking way. I would love to initiate it. But my only chance of doing that is when you are dead asleep. I guess I need to like set an alarm. And this is a tip for dudes.

Maybe just chill a little bit on the initiation. Let her have room so she can do it. If you're initiating it five times a day and not reading the signs of her body language and mental, she's never going to want to initiate it with you. You know what's really fucked up about what I just fucking said? If I dated a dude and he all of a sudden was not initiating sex as much, I would freak the fuck out.

I would be like, what is wrong with you? What's going on? Fuck you. So you either are initiating it too much, but if you don't initiate it, I think there's something wrong and that really bothers me as well. But hey, you know what? We can't initiate it enough, but you don't give us a chance. It's just we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. You're hard and we are the rock and we can't budge. Yeah.

Guys, I'm fucking spiraling. That made no fucking sense. But this whole thing, this isn't on some pleasing your guy shit. There is something super empowering and fun about initiating sex and taking control. But I mean actually initiating sex.

Not scooting the butt towards the dick in bed. And trust me, the scoot move is about as far as my initiation ever goes. But why would I put more work in? Why would I put more work in than I have to? Backing it up on his dick with my pants on, even if his dick is an inch away from me, it works every time a thousand percent of the time.

But again, there is something empowering about the sex act being in your hands, but they make it fucking impossible. Again, I mean, if we are on some pleasing your man shit, if there is one thing you do more than initiating sex, then

initiate the sucking of the penis. This is one I definitely never do, but there's nothing better to a man than a blowjob. And there's nothing better than a blowjob to a man than you initiating the blowjob. And there's nothing hotter to a dude than initiating the blowjob when he is asleep.

Also, it is hot and fun to initiate sex. And it's not to please him, just for you. Just you as a woman and honing in on your sexual prowess and goddess, you know? Do it for yourself to boost your confidence, to turn up your sex life.

But you probably will never get the chance because he is already inside of you. And to be fair to the guys, because I think I did just kind of go off, I do think it's important...

for women to make sure your man knows that you want him. It's great to make them feel good. You should make them feel good. I think because we are constantly having to turn them down, it can get misinterpreted as you not being that into it. Let them know verbally you're into it and then he's going to jump on you and fuck your brains out. So I don't know. Proceed with caution.

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Okay, guys, let's jump into SOS, save our sleuths, questions, stories, advice. Here we go. Hey, Sophia, mentally, what gets you up in the morning? I was in a huge depression for like two weeks straight, sleeping all day and not wanting to go to university. And even though I had to cue Kim Kardashian saying, get your ass up and work.

It took a lot out of me and I was often late and just not in the mood. I wanted to know what gets you up in the mornings. I'm currently in a manic episode, so things aren't going somewhat well. Well, girlfriend, things are not going great for me either. But what gets me up in the morning? I mean, I am very self-deprecating and I don't want that to be confused. Like I genuinely love my life.

But I have definitely had bouts of clinical serious depression. And I want to be careful how I answer this because a lot of times if you have depression...

it's sometimes it's impossible to get out of bed. There's not like some really inspiring thing going on in my life that is enough to get me out of bed. Like I'm dealing with like a chemical imbalance. I'm dealing with something that is greater than me. You know what I mean? So I just, I want to be careful how I answer this, but what motivates me

Um, money, success, you guys, the sleuths, swear to God, proving my haters wrong. Oh my God, this answer is so fucking superficial. No, I think ultimately it's wanting to be independent. And I think I don't really practice gratitude, but I

I definitely it's part of me and I know how grateful I am. And I think that helps me get up in the morning, honestly. Hopefully that answered your question. Girl, if you are feeling depressed, take care of yourself. Maybe maybe it is too hard to get out of bed that day and give yourself a little bit of time. You can't be in bed for the rest of your life. So at a certain point, you know, let's

Let's get some help and let's – sometimes the best way to battle depression is not to assume you're going to wake up in the morning and feel different and feel motivated and feel like you want to leave the house. Sometimes you just need to go through the actions, right?

Throw your socks on, throw your fucking Uggs on, a hoodie on, go for a walk, and it feels counterintuitive. But when you start doing that stuff, your depression subsides and you know the rest. Okay.

Next question. Hey, Slu, I was hanging out with a group of guy friends tonight and you got brought up. I was so excited. I was like, you know, Sophia Franklin. Anyways, he goes on a tangent and rumor has it.

He hung out with you and anal princess. Okay, Stella Berry. In Vegas before y'all left him for two chains. LOL. He remembers you being bitchy, but also so fucking hot. He was like, I could get you to meet Sophia. Either he's a badass or a fucking liar. What losers? Ha ha. Uh, yeah.

This story is fake and is false. I have hung out with Anal Princess. I have met 2 Chainz. Not at the same time. Not in Las Vegas. This is completely made up. I was going to let it fly because he did say I was hot. But when he said the bitchy thing, you will never catch me being bitchy. That's just not in my nature. I don't know though if...

I should really be offended that this guy is just out here using my name to get pussy. I mean, I kind of support him if that's what he wants to do.

Honestly, this is okay to everyone listening. This is me saying you are fully allowed to use my name and say that we hung out and that I'm bitchy, but I'm hot, whatever. You can use my name to get pussy or penis. I'm saying it right here, right now. My name is Free Game, okay?

Oh my god, I am just the charity happening on this fucking episode. Okay, that's kind of a crazy thing to think about. So what, I can just like name drop and use any celebrity's name to get sex or to like get where I want to go?

I feel like I'm just – I'm too – I wouldn't know how to really deliver that. I would show up at like an exclusive club and be like, wait, I went to dinner with Mel Gibson once. I'd be like, get the fuck out. Okay, next question.

Hi, Sophia. I always got full Brazilian waxes, but recently got my first landing strip. Are landing strips weird? And if they're cute, what are other styles I could shape my bush? Illy, any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

Okay, as always, I'm going to give the truthful answers and not the answers that would make the most amount of people feel comfortable and not come for me and bitch me out. Men, for the most part, do not like body hair.

I said it. It's the truth. It is what it is. It's our culture and it's this day and age and that's just what it is. I have met dudes that are down with the landing strip. I have never encountered a dude who has said, can you please rock a full bush? Nine out of ten want it completely bald.

There are a few outliers that I have met and have hooked up with that were down for the landing strip. And honestly, I think they were the better guy in terms of sex. They were bigger freaks and we love that. I think different shapes for the landing strip.

My brain is going to something like carving in the word slew above your vagina. I think that could be really cute. What else? An arrow, two cherries, a pair of lips, a flower.

I mean, how much fucking hair? I mean, what is a landing strip? The size of your pinky? Girl, I don't fucking know. But at the end of the day, you do what you want to do with your body hair. You know what I mean?

I'm actually in the process of getting like a full Brazilian lasered. I've had like my bikini line, but right now I'm doing the full Brazilian. That shit is terrifying. When they just fully grab your labia, pull it out and have a fucking laser and it feels like a rubber band snapping against, oh, I don't know, a quarter of a centimeter away from your clit. Very scary shit.

And I kind of, I put it off laser for a really long time because I'm really scared that the bush is going to make a comeback. But I don't know. I guess I'm just, I'm so fucking lazy. I cannot shave anymore. Okay. Next question is,

Hey, Slew, love you. I wanted to ask for your thoughts on getting married young, like 23, 24. I have been dating my boyfriend for four years and I'm super in love and I know he's the one I want to be with, but I get scared at the thought that getting married young usually doesn't work out. How do you feel about it and why? I don't know where you got the impression that getting married young means it's not going to work out.

I think maybe people just infer or like imply that because you haven't lived as much life or whatever. But, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, I am almost positive I read a study that was done that said people who get married later in life have a higher divorce rate.

So and I think that's because those people know what they want. So they're not going to settle. And, you know, they have more opinions that are more stuck in their ways. And it's harder to adapt to having another person you have to care for and etc. So I don't think that's how you should think about this. I don't think the age really matters too much, to be completely honest with you.

If this is the guy you want to marry and you know he's the one, then fuck it. Who cares about like societal norms? Who cares about what people are saying? But if it's something else, then definitely take that into account. Okay? Don't blame it on being young. If you feel like there's something else going on, then you should pay attention to it. But hey, maybe he is the one. I personally think that...

Who I am today is a completely different girl than I was at 23, 24. And honestly, a completely different person than I was three years ago.

So I, for me, I just want to wait a little bit. But people say when you're in a relationship, you change, but you're supposed to evolve with the person, you know, in the relationship with you. There's no right or wrong answer. And let's face it, all marriages are going to end up in divorce and most relationships fail. And so age is the least of your worries, girlfriends.

Okay, I think that's my cue to just call it a night. I won't be going to sleep, but I'll definitely be resting. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. I actually have something really exciting to announce. I got verified on TikTok. And what's even crazier and more amazing is they dropped the zero. Because it used to be Sophia Franklin and the number zero. No.

Not anymore. Your girl has her true name and I am so happy about it. And you guys can follow me on all my social media channels. SophiaTheNF, FranklinWithAY. Again, no episode next week, but I will be back the following week sexier and stronger and better than I've ever been. Love you guys. Talk to you guys soon.