88: Slootline Bling 59:58

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Hi, everybody. I am in a fucking mood today. I am recording from WTF Media Studios. As you know, a black-owned studio located in upscale Soho, New York. I don't fucking fit in here. I can tell you that right now. You know who does fit in? My Birkin. Okay? Okay.

She fucking fits in here. She is joining us today. She won't be talking. Some know her as Celeste. I like to call her Miss B, but I have a very different type of episode for you guys this week.

And I will explain why. But before that, I'm going to talk about myself because it's my fucking show and I'm in the mood and I know everyone is dying for an update. I don't have too many updates, actually, which is rare for me, which means my life is going very, very well. It's when I come in here with 50 updates that you guys should be worried about my mental health. I don't have too many. The only thing is...

I was, this has actually happened twice now. My God. I was brushing my hair and I just put dry shampoo in it. And I was looking in the mirror and I was like, holy fuck, I have a gray hair. Abuela Sofia. You can all fucking just start calling me that. At 30, that's what you are. You're a fucking grandma.

it ended up just being the dry shampoo thank god and no but i was freaking the fuck out not that i should because aging is natural and healthy and it happens to everyone and we should embrace it and love it i just didn't think it was going to come that soon and be that scary okay it took me aback then

If you guys are watching me on YouTube, I am wearing silver hoops right now. And again, was looking in the mirror, playing with my hair. I saw something silver and then I knew for a fucking fact I'm starting to get gray hair. Nope, it was this silver hoop earring underneath my hair. So I'm losing my fucking mind. I feel like I'm under attack. Gray hair is fucking everywhere. They're going to pop out at any moment.

But I guess that's turning 30, you guys. That's the real fear is the gray hair. And I understand people start getting gray hair at any age. Some people get it in high school, I've heard. And you can always dye it so it doesn't fucking matter. And you know what? Just to make a statement, I'm going to rock it. When I start getting gray hair, I'm going to rock every single strand of that hair.

When I'm 80 years old, because I'm not doing that right now. Oh, the only other update I have is I went to a dinner the other day and I

It was the most awkward dinner of my entire life. I said something that I shouldn't have. And hear me out. It is very hard to make me feel uncomfortable, right? Like to sit at a dinner table and feel awkward. That rarely happens to me. Like if there's awkward silence, I either don't care or I just start running my mouth. I, hence why I have a fucking podcast. But...

We were ordering food and somehow we started talking about octopus. Okay. Because a bunch of people ordered the octopus appetizer. It's like octopus with aioli, whatever. Who gives a fuck? I...

I'm not vegan by any means, but I try. I could try harder, but I really do try. I dated a vegan for four years. I, you know, will buy Beyond Me. I will buy everything non, excuse me, non-dairy. Yeah, non-dairy, almond milk, like any cheese. It's all going to be vegan. I will have a steak here and there. I will eat chicken. What?

What I will not eat is octopus. I just like, I love to contradict myself about 79 times in a row. I'll have it, I don't know, two to three times a year if it's the freshest shit ever right off the beach and I saw it being caught and I made out with it and I saw them chop it up in front of me, okay? Ooh, I'm sure vegans love to hear that little image. But...

If you've seen My Octopus Teacher, okay? The documentary on Netflix. If you can eat an octopus after that, should I be saying octopus or octopi? Octopussy?

I have a really hard time eating it. Anyways, I'm sure you guys would love me to talk about the Octopus Teacher Netflix movie, but I'm not going to put you through that. They're just, they're the smartest things in the world. And I try not to. And I brought it up and it started just kind of this debate where some men at the table primarily were saying,

you know that's such bullshit we were put on this earth to eat animals and oh my god one guy tried to say uh it was already dead so me not eating it isn't gonna help the situation

I mean, guys, brain cells, let's use our brain cells. I don't have that many, but I have more than that. If you don't eat it, then they don't have as much of a need to provide it. And so they stop catching as much like, hi. Okay. This podcast is not about fucking animal rights and veganism and octopus. Okay. What it's about is this heated conversation about

And it wasn't heated yet. It was fun, but we were just, we were kind of debating, but there were no hard feelings. And then I asked a question that I will never, ever, ever, as long as I live, ask again at a dinner table, ever. I asked the guy who was fighting me the hardest if he believed in global warming, okay? Okay.

He lost his fucking shit. He lost his mind. His response to that was, I am a Republican. I voted for Trump. We're not going there. I'm not going there. Am I crazy? I mean, this is like politics aside. Am I crazy? I didn't know asking about global warming was me asking who you voted for.

I don't understand. Like, that's just it's a scientific thing. And I asked a question about it. I didn't know that I was basically being like, hi, who did you vote for? No, I asked if you believed in global warming. The whole table went dead silent. It was so fucking awkward. Moral of the story is don't ever ask someone if they believe in global warming unless you want to spice it up.

You know, in case you're bored at dinner, then you can. But enough about me, you guys. I'm going to make this episode about you. It's time to take care of the sleuths. It's time to take care of you. And the reason this episode is going to be very different is I actually did an episode like this once before, probably close to two years ago. That's how long it's been. And I only did it once, never to do it again again.

It was a dark time. And basically what it was, people are like...

What kind of terrifying, depressing episode are we about to do? No, this is going to be the best shit ever because I'm in a completely different headspace. And I was like, how can I engage with the sleuths and my listeners? And I decided to have you guys call in questions so we could engage with one another. So...

That's what we're going to do. I think part of the reason it was so hard is because I was going through a hard time, but also I decided to be the one to go through all of the voicemails and listen to all of the calls. And because I was in such a fucked up headspace, I

It was like for every 100 super sweet, supportive, great calls, that one vicious, horrible, rude call just like fucking destroyed me. Okay. Now the new Sophia is.

With her sidekick, Miss B, you can't destroy this bitch. You can't come for me. I have been through hell. I've been dragged through the mud. Sticks and stones may break my bones and words will never fucking hurt me, okay? However, did I listen to this batch of calls? Absolutely not.

I did have my team do it. So I have not heard these before, which makes it 100 times more scary, but also way more exciting. And if you guys know anything about my team, they fucking hate me and I don't trust them. So we're in for a real fucking treat.

only one that I know that we're gonna play I'm gonna play it right now this is one that I played on that episode that always stuck with me it's the slew anthem please brace your ears your hearts and your minds okay Yogi play the call hey Sophia I wrote a theme song for the show

Sophia with an F. Yeah, baby. Sophia with an F. We are the flu. Yeah. My name is Brianna. Love you.

Sophia with an F. Guys, Brianna, you are a fucking goddess and I need you to come on the show. And if you have like any other songs you want to throw my way, I mean, am I allowed to turn that shit into a remix? I need to, absolutely. So I had to bring that song back from the one episode. It's fucking incredible. I'm making it my ringback tone. With that...

Let's get in to all of your calls, okay? Hit me with the first one. Let's go. Hi, Sophia. I hope you had a good 30th birthday. I just wanted to let you know that your brother DMed me on Instagram. I'm a potential... Is it sister-in-law? Sister-in-law? Yeah.

So maybe give me a follow or something. Okay. You know what? This would be the first call that I got. This would be the first fucking call that I got. Yeah, this one just kind of threw me for a loop. I wasn't expecting this one to be the first one. I was kind of expecting more like advice, you know. Yeah.

Lucas, if you're listening, which I know he doesn't because he's very rude, but I love him to death. You know what? Actually, fuck Lucas. Love you. But to this girl, I need to know how my brother slid in. That's what I need to fucking know. Because as his older sister, okay, and his only sibling,

He better have slid in with some fucking game. Because if he slid in with just like a, hey, what's up? Oh my God, or something sexual. I could see him doing that. Don't tell me what he said because I will throw up. But I could see him doing that. Whatever he did, I need to fucking know. I mean, he's 18. Also, I would just like to point out, and let's keep this on the DL. I'm pretty sure he has...

a girlfriend right now so that just put his shit on blast do we think that this girl that wrote in this listener was a fan of the show before she met my brother or after um i'm thinking before

Okay. So honestly, my brother owes me a lot because I'm out here getting him bitches left and right. Period. He's using me. But also is this girl using him for clout? Uh, ooh.

Which is completely fine. I'm sure he doesn't care as long as you guys are going to hook up or whatever. I'm sure clout is completely fine. But either way, girl, I am down to follow you. Once you're closer to my sister-in-law, I don't know the situation. I will ask my brother. Okay, let's listen to our next caller.

Hi, Sophia. I love you and I love the show. And I respond to all of your stories like they're meant for me, even though you actually like never respond or open them. It's totally fine. I will continue to do that. I just wanted to give everyone a little life hack. This was when I was a former crazy bitch. Yeah. So one time my ex-boyfriend

He was my boyfriend at the time. We shared locations with each other. And he told me that he was at this guy's house, like, watching a game or something. And I, like, always had such a bad feeling about this one girl. And I found that out because he was, like, liking her Instapix. Like, he didn't mention her, nothing like that. I didn't see, like, them texting. So anyway, so he's at this guy's house. And I just had a weird feeling. So I...

the address and I think I went to like Zillow or realtor.com or something. I went to like a realtor website that had the house listed and I was able to figure out the last name of whoever owns the house and match it to her last name. It was her parents' house. So he was hooking up with her at her parents' house and lying about it.

So yeah, if you ever want to catch someone and you see their address or wherever they are, their location is at a random house, figure out who owns the house. Love you. Goodbye.

What the fuck did I just hear? She pulled her badge the fuck out. This girl is, I will never, ever, ever not respond to your DM for as long as I live. You are, this is fucking brilliant. Brill, a capital B. Holy shit. So let me understand this correctly. She shared locations with her boyfriend.

And she had a bad feeling about this girl because he was liking her pictures on Instagram. But you know what she said? Had a bad feeling about the girl, but not about him. You know what? Thank you for fucking pointing that out. Had a bad feeling about the girl, but not about him.

You should have a bad feeling about the guy for liking her picture. The fuck? Right? She doesn't even know anything about this girl. She's single. Right. As far as you know, your boyfriend is telling this girl that like you died yesterday and your funeral is tomorrow just so we can get her pussy. You can't be mad at the girl like that. You got to be mad at your boyfriend. Absolutely.

However, you're fucking smart. That's a smart move. So if you're sharing locations and he tells you he's at fucking, I don't know, friend's house, hospital, grandma's house, at the park, you look it up.

Type that shit into Zillow. You see who owns the house and then you can potentially link up the names and figure out who the fuck lives there. And it was this girl's parents house. All she needed to know was the girl's last name. Oh my God. In conclusion, don't put your last name on your Instagram.

Yes, everyone. I love how we're like, don't be shady, but be shady. Take your last name off your Instagram so you never get caught. Right? Right. That's actually really fucking smart, you guys. If you're out here being shady and just sliding into DMs like my brother, take the last name off. Does he have his last name in his Instagram? Yeah. Oh. Not anymore. Not anymore. Not after I heard these past two calls. But

But I mean, this is fucking crazy. Who knew Zillow could be used for more than just looking up how much a house costs and deciding if you want to go there or not. I love this. It's like instead of doing what I used to do back in the day and do a drive-by,

and just see if there's a weird car there or try and like peek in a window you can do this from the comfort of your own home period glass of wine laptop in your lap like you don't give a fuck this is this we're making strides and we are progressing you know as a culture and as a society this is fucking great

And you know what's even cooler is my mom does do real estate. And so she has access to the MLS. And if you don't know what the MLS is, you don't need to know. But basically, I can see all the details for everybody. The owner, the fucking exact address when they bought the house, how much it is. There's probably other shit in there.

And I would be lying if I said I did not have my mom look up my ex on the MLS to confirm that he wasn't a serial killer and actually owned his home. True story. I can talk about that a different time. ♪

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your cash back really adds up. Alright, next caller. Hey, I got a question. As someone who literally paid to travel around the world and talk about relationships, sex, advice, and whatever, from your personal experience or just from your point of view, do you feel like the hookup culture is universal all around or is there really a difference

Okay. I love me a male caller. We fucking love that shit. I can't answer your question until I do a little...

back up did he say I get paid to travel that's what I heard what is that what does that mean to you how would you interpret that he's a sloop like a like a like tag my sponsor shit in Dubai shit right like I'm getting people are shitting on my chest for a thousand dollars my sponsors like on the yacht okay well that's not what I do but I do a version of it

I do not get paid to travel, okay? What I get paid to do is...

And me trying to like not get into the hierarchy of hoeing, which if you guys listen to Horrible Decisions, you have heard that term before. Best podcast ever. The hierarchy of hoeing. I don't judge girls who get paid to go on trips. I would say my situation's a little bit different. I've only had boyfriends pay for my trips. Okay.

Is that the same shit? Miss B has, I think, absolutely paid to go on a trip. I mean, look at her. A thousand fucking percent. But anyways, yes, I just I wanted to clarify. I don't get paid to travel in that way. Not there's anything wrong with it. Then there was another thing that stuck out to me is your definition of hookup culture, right?

Men wanting to fuck girls and girls wanting to fuck guys for money. Why did we add the for money for the girls? That didn't really make sense to me. I mean, when I think hookup culture, it means casual sex is embraced. One night stands are embraced.

without an emotional attachment. Like you guys don't need to be attached to each other. It's fucking casual. That's what hookup culture is. So I don't know where girls fucking guys for money came into, but to your question, is hookup culture the same thing?

Everywhere in the world? Short answer is yes. There obviously are exceptions.

any place that is extremely conservative, but for the most part, hookup culture is everywhere. Okay. You mentioned the Bay area, New York and Italy. I have lived in both New York and the Bay area. I've, I'm not, I mean, I've traveled to Italy. I, but actually I have really close friends in Italy that talked to me about like the dating scene there. And, uh,

Yeah, everyone is all about the hookup culture in those places. And they're down to do it casually, okay? I think I answered that question. I'm pretty sure I did. But, oh, quickly. Oh my God. Tangent after tangent, just bear with me. There are just certain countries where the men are sexier, okay? Italy is absolutely one of them. And I think because of that, they...

are very much into the casual sex hookup culture. And they're also just a lot more romantic about it. Like they're shady as fuck.

They're shady as fuck. And I know that firsthand. Okay. My mom's from Argentina. One of my best friends dated this guy from Argentina. And she said, I will never date a guy from Argentina ever again. They are so shady and evil. But the generalizations I do, not all of them, just some of them. But they like to woo their women. And they'll do whatever it takes to get you. But then they'll fucking cheat on you.

Is it that much different from the States? I don't fucking know. Anyways, let's get the next call in. Hi, Sophia, you little slurp queen. I love you so much. I just wanted to call in and basically tell you that. And yeah, just, you know, say hi. My name is Ellie. My kid is in the car and he just heard me say slurp queen, but it's okay because he doesn't talk yet. So anyways, I love you. Talk to you soon. Bye.

So she just called in to say hi and call me a slurp queen. First of all, I'm extremely flattered. I don't know if I've never been called a slurp queen before. I hope what she means is I give a mean blow job. What I hope she doesn't mean is the few instances where I've sucked a dick and thrown up on it and then slurped it back up. Because I have talked about that recently.

Girl, it better be the former and not the latter. But I love Slurp Queen. Also, the fact that your kid is in the car. You know how parents will play...

I mean, not Puff the Magic Dragon. Is that a movie? Is that a fucking show or a book? Or like the wheels on the bus go round and round. You know, parents will play like child shit in the car or some parents will play classical music because it's supposed to help the development of the kid's brain and make them smarter. No, this mom could...

kudos to you because having your kid listen to my show and saying things like slurp queen around him, he is going to be, and I just made up the gender of the kid. They are going to be so much more well-equipped for the world listening to me and listening to their mama. But,

Bottom line, okay? They're going to know how to scam men, scam women. They're going to know how to get away with cheating. They're going to know how to finesse, manipulate. I mean, if you want to adopt me, Ellie, absolutely. I would love that. I can't wait to see your kid grow up. Okay, next call.

Hey, Sophia. So a few podcasts ago or episodes ago on the podcast, you mentioned that you were taking Adderall. And I know this might be super personal, but that was a really enlightening thing for you to say. I really felt seen and that you really destigmatized ADHD and ADHD.

the use of medication and I don't know if you would feel open to sharing more about yeah like your own diagnosis with having ADHD or why you take Adderall. I was diagnosed a couple years ago and I'm currently not medicated for it but it definitely was something that was kind of shameful for me and I would just love to hear yeah you use your platform to kind of demystify like what's the reality of like being neurodivergent.

I love you so much, and I so hope to God that this makes it on the show, or at least you talk about it in the coming podcast. Love you, bitch. Okay. This is a really good one and very different from all the ones we just fucking had. Right. A little swerve. Well, first thing I want to say is...

Are you from Canada? Because I swear to God, I heard an about in there. I don't know. But that actually wasn't the first thing I wanted to say. Real first thing I wanted to say is it makes me so fucking happy that...

I was able to help you feel seen and that I helped destigmatize ADHD and taking Adderall, which is really crazy to me because I talk about things very openly and I don't realize that by talking about them so openly,

open and honestly that I do destigmatize certain things, you know? And I also sometimes don't realize what things need to be destigmatized. Because if you hang out with me and my fucking wild group, motley crew of friends, if Adderall is brought up, no one bats an eyelash, you know? If a mental disorder is brought up, no one bats an eyelash. But I understand that a lot of people don't

you know, surround themselves or just not in a group of people that are maybe as liberated or as understanding and what have you. So that is really the best compliment I could ever receive. And I'm so happy I was able to do that for you. I do try to destigmatize as much as I can, though, whether it's conversations surrounding sex, marriage,

mental health what have you I I do really really try because the reality is these things exist and we all have our shit and you know surrounding those things with shame or whatever else it's it's not helping anybody it's fucking bullshit and I don't give a fuck and I'm done with it

Also, again, I happen to hang out with a fabulous group of people who think Adderall is a fucking tic-tac. That is not to say Adderall should be taken as that. It can be very fucking dangerous. And I'm going to tell my journey with Adderall right now. So the first time I took Adderall,

I think I was like junior in high school, something like that. Maybe it was Vyvanse, whatever, same shit. And I remember sitting in computer class and I remember listening to Kid Cudi, my arch nemesis. That's a story for another time as well. But I remember listening to Kid Cudi, Man on the Moon.

And I remember the music and everything felt so fucking amazing. And I loved it. And I was like, holy shit, I want to take this shit forever. I was not prescribed it, by the way. I was just, my friend just gave it to me. I decided to try it. Then I like got over it. I moved on to...

Really cute things like selling coke out of a drive-thru window and smoking Oxycontin with some of the older girls. I was just really the best kid. Yes, I understand I said that very casual, but it is true, but I grew out of it. Maybe there were like one or two times in college I took Adderall for a college exam, and then that was it. And then...

I saw a doctor and she did this test and she prescribed me Adderall. By the way, both my mom and my brother are prescribed it. Well, they were diagnosed with ADHD. I don't know if they take their medication, but I'm going to preface this by saying ADHD is 100% absolutely without a doubt a real thing. What I'm saying is...

I don't feel that I have ADHD. I really don't. And yeah, my doctor thought I did. But sometimes you know better than your doctor. And that's the fucking truth. But I got the prescription. I started taking it just kind of like on and off for years. And then I really like started to ramp it up.

this, the past three to four years when I started having to work 60, 70 hours a week. Okay. And

And then I started to realize like, oh, this is kind of not that fun and it's not working as well. And then you want a higher dose and da, da, da, da, da. So then I stopped taking it for a while. And now I'm in a much better place taking it. But I can't say that the way I take Adderall is the healthiest thing in the whole world. And I think what I mean by that is,

There has been some kind of dependency that's developed on it. I don't take it every day. I don't take more than I'm supposed to, but...

I would be lying if there weren't multiple days where I wake up and I think to myself, I can't get through today without Adderall or I have work to do today. I need Adderall or I have a fucking hard workout I need to do. I need Adderall. Like there has been some kind of dependency that's been happening and I'm still working through it and it's fucking hard to do.

And I'm still in that journey. So if anyone has any tips, please let me know. I've gotten a lot better. I can say that. We're not looking for perfection. We're looking for progress. Okay, everyone? I've started taking pre-workout, before a workout, coffee all day long. Like I'm doing little things. I take it way less than I used to.

And that's kind of been my journey with Adderall. So there you guys go. I hope my honest story about my Adderall habits helps you and helped you and helped anyone listening. If you guys are like dealing with that shit, you are not alone. If I could throw a rock outside of my window in New York,

It's 80% chance it's going to hit someone who's taking Adderall, whether they're prescribed it or not. Okay? A lot of people take it. Some people need it. Some people don't. But there is no reason to feel ashamed or...

different, for being neurodivergent, like you said. Big word. I like that word. There's no reason to feel bad about that ever, ever, ever, ever. Okay? And as much as I joke about things...

I do. It's like you do have to be aware of the dangers that come with taking prescription pills or any drug or alcohol or sex without a condom or anything else in the world. Okay, let me just stop myself before I fucking spiral out of control.

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and listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at iXLLearning.com slash audio. Visit iXLLearning.com slash audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Next caller. Let's get it. Hey, Sophia. I have a question for you. I was hooking up with a guy. Okay, this is like my on and off situationship.

And he starts to nibble on my ear, I guess you would say. And I'm like, I'm into that. I like that. I keep going. I don't like that. I'm too glitched. He turns my head and he starts going in on my ear. He is eating my ear out like a fucking pussy. He's cleaning my ear out like two monkeys. And it's his turn to give me a bath.

And I'm, like, kind of into it because he's never done it before. So I'm, like, okay, what is this? Like, no one's ever made out with my ear. Like, I'm, I don't know. It was okay for, like, three minutes, maybe, like, two minutes. I don't know. And then I start to, like, I'm, like, okay, this is really weird. Like, I'm pretty sure I have, like, earwax in my ear. And, like, you're, I mean, I don't know if that's, like, his thing, if he likes the taste of it. So I'm, like, all right, come back, babe. Like, okay.

I like ripped his head over to me and then we make out for a few minutes and then he goes to my other ear and he like starts doing the same shit. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? I've never, never encountered that before. And I'm just so, so confused. Why? Because again, I'm pretty sure I have like a buildup of earwax. I'm like, I'm not sure why.

If that's what you're into. But yeah, we wanted to know if you've ever experienced anything like that or if you would be into it. Thanks, Sophia. Love you, babe. Love you, babe. Listen.

I you asked if I've dealt with this personally. Does that make it a wet willy? Do you get fucking swimmers here? Can you get swimmers here from that? Is there that much saliva? I mean, like, be careful because she said two minutes. That's a long fucking time. That's a long. And what is she supposed to do? Right. What is she doing?

Holding his dick? I don't understand. Like, okay, listen. Have I had a guy go for the ear? Yes. This is how I feel about it. Yomi's going to yell at me. Because I do think, I do think in certain instances it can be hot. And the reason I'm saying that is because just recently...

This guy, okay, we do freaky, crazy shit. Stuff that I've never done before. And it's like one of those things where nothing is off limits, which can be really fucking fun. And he has gone for the ear and it's turned me on. Do I get ticklish at a certain point? Do I think, okay, let's move away from the ear canal, you know? But I would like, I would tell him to stop after,

30 seconds probably to one minute. He also likes it if I do it to him. So girlfriend, if you want to keep this guy around, you should absolutely do it back to him. A lot of times when a guy keeps doing something to you over and over and over and acts like really into it, sometimes that means they want you to do it back to them. Sometimes. Maybe he's fucking just crazy about ears and has a fetish for them. You know what I was thinking about?

Eating ass and eating ear. Yeah. Is there like what is the difference there? You're licking up earwax. Asshole, you're licking up some residue of what we know comes out of a butthole. Okay. Yeah.

And she was wondering, does he like that? Like, does he like that aspect of it? The earwax, like the grime, the dirty. That's your answer. If he eats your ass, he fucking loves himself some earwax. He wants to spread that shit on toast. He loves it. He wants the shit between your toes. You should never shower ever again for the rest of your life, girlfriend. But I sometimes wonder when guys eat ass, like,

Does some of the reason, do they want to do it to taste a little poopy? The way you looked at me. Yo, me? I wasn't ready for that one. I know you...

Hell yeah, they like it. So it's obviously, but it's obviously like aesthetically pleasing for like... Of course. Right. But you don't think they're secretly... It comes with a price. Okay, but this is the thing. It's aesthetically pleasing. They're dirty and doing something dirty makes them horny and turns them on. Yeah. But does it also turn them on if they can taste a little...

Duty. I'm literally talking about feces like I am in. I think it depends. I think you have if you eat as you have to be OK with that.

I know you have to be okay with it, but do they enjoy, prefer it? Like if they could have a girl right out of the shower, because I think a guy would prefer a girl who just took a shit and not one that just got out of the shower. I'm going to do a poll. We're going to get to the bottom of this. I'm going to ask every fucking dirty ass guy I know, and I'm going to get back to you guys. Go, girl.

But some some women love to eat ass. Yes, they do. I mean, I've done it. I mean, but do you love it? I it depends on the person. This is what I realized. OK, you will start to love shit with the right person. No pun.

Yeah, you will start to like shit with the right person. Yep, you will. And that's a fact. It's like if you meet a guy or a girl and the sex is fucking incredible and you guys are just pulling down each other's walls and you're trying everything, Miss B, don't get jealous, okay? You know I'm going to be doing shit with you later. You're my number one. But girl, fuck.

back to your fucking question I could sit here for hours you guys yes I've had a guy do that to me I think a lot of men do it I would not be okay with it if a guy tried to do that on a first date or like the first few times hooking up if it's later on and you guys are very comfortable and you want to try some new shit it's like let

Let him live a little. Try licking his ear and see how he responds. And if it really fucking bothers you, just scream, oh my God, that tickles. And he'll get it. And he'll probably stop. Okay. Wow. We went from fucking licking an ear to eating ass to me going to jail for giving a blow job. That was really fun. Okay. Next caller, please.

Hey, Sophia. Love and listen to the pod all the time. I'm calling because I need some advice for sure for your fellow flute players.

I was wondering, I guess, any advice that you would give for self-sabotaging? I'm in a recent and new relationship. I'm not much of a relationship girl, but I've been dating someone for six months, and I feel like I just keep thinking or finding excuses to leave this guy that's just been so caring, so giving, so nice. Yeah.

I guess just advice on that. Anything that you can give. Love your opinion. Love the pod. Thanks so much. Self-sabotaging. My favorite pastime. I am a veteran. I am an expert. This is the thing. What I took from that question is...

I can't tell if this is self-sabotage, girlfriend, or if this is just you not liking this guy. She's saying it's her first relationship. She is thinking about leaving him, but he's so nice, so kind, so incredible.

But do you like him? Exactly. Do you like him? Does he eat your ass? Does he eat your ass? Does he eat your ear? Does he eat your pussy? What is he eating? Do you like him? Are you sexually attracted to him? Do you guys have chemistry? Are there romantic feelings? Are you having nasty sex? Are you having the nastiest sex ever?

Whatever are you like? Do you even like this guy? Do you even have feelings for him? Because if you don't have all of those other things, all you have is, oh, he's super sweet and caring and kind, then you should leave. That's number one. Number two is self-sabotage, I think, is a little bit different. Self-sabotage to me is when I like a guy and...

for whatever reason, I try to blow shit up. Okay, that's what self-sabotage is. I mean, I'm trying to think of an example because I fucking used to do it for a living when I was very toxic. I'm a little bit healthier now, but starting a fight for no reason. I think sometimes I'll self-sabotage because I have trust issues, you know?

daddy issues probably. And I just all self-sabotage because I'm like, no, this is too good to be true. Or this person's going to abandon me at some point or what have you. At the end of the day, I really, really like this person. I just want to blow shit up and maybe I'll pretend to leave. So they chase after me like that self-sabotage wanting to leave.

is not necessarily self-sabotage, even if they're nice, basically. And I think she said this is her first relationship. Girlfriend, I think you need to maybe like have a few more relationships and you'll understand what you like and what types of guys you want to be with and what self-sabotage is. Okay? Okay, great. Next caller.

Sophia, I hope you know when I get blacked out, I start talking like you. Like other people have names for their alter ego, but I straight up just become you. And it's like the most bizarre thing.

But I just wanted to let you know your influence like travels on into my blacked out state. But I love doing your show and I carry your love with me. But anyways, bye. I want to hear it.

Tell her to send you a DM. I need you to DM me and send in what you sound like. I need to hear this and we need to be best friends forever. I think that is the nicest compliment I have ever received. I mean, if someone were to text me and say, hey, thinking about you in the middle of the day, take it or leave it. This girl in a blackout state.

Is taking me. Is like. Is thinking of me. And taking me with her in spirit. And my love. And my influence. In a blackout. That. I mean. That's fucking true love girl. True love. I would. Die. To hear how she sounds. Blackout.

With my voice. We are about to call. I don't know if this is legal or allowed or if she even wants me to call. But here we go. Okay, I got to do a star six seven. I remember how to do this shit. I start saying her number out loud. Okay. Oh my God. I really hope she answers. She's gonna be like, what the... Is it star six seven or star six nine? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hi, this is Sophia Franklin. Did you by any chance call in a voicemail? Oh my god, wait, what? Are you freaking me out? No. Okay, I don't even know if this is allowed legally or what, but I listened to your voicemail. I was dying. I'm fucking obsessed with you. I was like crying laughing. Oh my god.

you too no you're you're the only person I've called and like I've never done something like this before yes I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to do like an impression like a Sophia blackout type of thing like whatever you do in your blackout how do you talk like me for starters I just dress funny as thing because people love me they're like you sound like Sophia French

Dude, just right there you sounded like it. You're like, do I? Oh, and I literally, if someone's like telling me something and I'm just like super fucked up, I'm like, listen, like, it's honestly, it's not something we need to worry about. We're shit together because this is just fucking bullshit. Let's just start rambling on. Like, honestly, the one thing, oh, okay, this is the thing I do. Okay.

My God, the amount of times I go, okay, that was insane. Like, you literally sound exactly like me. And you just did that shit on the spot. Kate, you're coming on a podcast episode. Like, that's it. You are fucking. Oh my God, I say that too. I'll say that.

That's it. Oh my God, you're pointing. I say that all the time too. You are fucking hilarious. I am so excited I have you on the phone. I want to send you like some merch for doing that because you're the cutest. Oh my God, thank you.

Yes, I'm going to text you and we are going to figure something out. But that was hilarious. Oh, my God. I honestly just think you're so amazing. And just like, you're just like a boss bitch businesswoman. And you're just like, I don't know, like, you're just such a good role model for like, supermodels.

Oh my God. Okay, I'm literally getting emotional and want to cry. I was not expecting that. Thank you so much. That really, really means like the world to me beyond. Yeah, absolutely. And thank you so much for reaching out. I saw no caller ID. I was like, is someone's phone?

No, I knew when you answered and you didn't say shit. I'm like, okay, she she knows what's up. I do the exact same thing. No, I heard your voicemail and I was fucking I thought it was so funny and I loved it so much. But I love you. And you know what? I feel comfortable saying that because I fucking do. Okay, bye bye.

Well, if I am your alter ego and your blackout, please be very, very careful because Sophia blackout hasn't happened for a while. Very scary. Okay. I'm talking getting in physical altercations, all sorts of trouble. 1000%. You don't think I've thrown hands? No.

Sophia. My valley girl voice saying throw hands. No, I 100% have gotten in fights before with girls. I always pull the hair though.

That's all I know how to do. Okay. And then my friend. That was my next question. Yeah. Thanks for answering it. That's all I know. I'm going to learn how to throw a punch. But yeah, I've fucking gone in fights with some girls before. A thousand percent. I love you, girl. That makes me so happy that I'm just, I'm with you in spirit every time you get blackout.

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Damn, I got the wrong number. Wait, was that for real? Wait, was he asking for chili or for a Chili's? Ma'am, is this a Chili's? Please play it again, please. Hello? Is this Chili's? Hello? Damn, I got the wrong number. I'm fucking dead. I am dead. Why are you sounding like he's in his 60s?

Yeah. And why does he sound serious like he's looking for a Chili's? He sounds like he's in his 70s and he sounds dead serious. That had to have been a prank call. That did not sound like a prank call though. Ma'am, this is a Chili's. Welcome to Chili's. Have you ever seen that Vine? Yeah. Holy shit.

No, this is not a Chili's and fuck my team for throwing that one at me at the very end. Very funny. But you guys, this was really fucking fun for me. Like the most fun I've had in a fucking while. And I wish I could do these every single day.

Let me know if you loved the episode. You guys know where to find me. It's Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y on all social media except TikTok. There is a number zero after Sophia Franklin. I have a fucking YouTube channel that you should check out so you can see all of my reactions, okay, to these voicemails because that's half the fun. And you get to see Miss B.

And maybe you get to see my camel toe when I cross my legs. It's so much fucking fun. And you guys, as always, if you could share this show with any of your friends and just spread the word in any way, shape or form, it helps me so, so, so fucking much. And with that, I love you and I will see you next week. Bye.