87: Post-Hookup Etiquette 53:09

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Hi party people. Welcome to Sophia with an F. I am back in New York. I'm just settling in still for my European getaway and I'm recording from WTF Media Studios. You heard it once, you've heard it twice, you're going to keep hearing me say it. Black-owned studio, the chicest, best place to record, Soho, New York. It can't get better than this. And I am joined by a very, very special guest.

and she is sitting next to me right now. Her name is Miss B, aka Celeste. Hi, Celeste, how are you? For those of you listening audio, you're gonna be really upset with me, and I'm telling you right now, you need to subscribe to my YouTube channel because my guest today, Celeste, aka Miss B, is the Birkin bag that I was gifted for my birthday.

Guys, I know I sound obnoxious as fuck right now, but it is what it is. She's stunning. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever been gifted. The color, the shape. I want to fuck her when I get home. Just gorgeous. Just just incredible. You might not hear too much from her, but Miss B, just having you there is like giving me courage to get through this episode.

So, oh my God, I don't even know where to fucking start. I just had a monumental birthday, you guys. If you don't follow me on social media, okay, you are doing yourself a great disservice because I bought the most ridiculous...

huge, fluffy, massive pink dress for my 30th birthday. It looked like a quinceanera dress straight up. Like I had no business wearing that at this dinner I was at. I don't give a fuck. When you're turning 30, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It was completely ridiculous, but it was super, super cute and I will post it. But as far as turning 30 goes,

People keep asking me how I'm feeling. And I wouldn't be feeling...

anything, honestly, if it weren't for every single person checking in on me, asking me how I'm fucking feeling. There is something very interesting when you turn 30. You don't just get a bunch of simple happy birthday. I love you. Have the best day. Like you don't just get a bunch of texts like that. All the texts that come in are like,

dirty 30 30 flirty and thriving 30 is the new 20 it's like you can just tell me happy birthday like what like you don't I understand how old I'm turning I get it it's just it's very bizarre I don't think that there is any age that gets as much recognition as the age 30.

maybe when you turn 21. But aside from that, at least for women, 30 is like some crazy ass thing. And I'm just, I'm over it. I don't get it. And I don't feel different. TBH, I feel the exact same. Probably because the entire time I was 29, everyone would be like, you're about to be 30. Sophia, seriously, you're about to be 30. I'm going to make a rule right now.

We are not allowed to reference someone's age as the age they're about to turn. If I'm 29, let me chill and let me just be 29 for that year. It doesn't have to be from the second I turn 29, like you're almost 30. I'm over it by it's a new rule. Let people just be the age that they are. Okay.

That was really fun, you guys. Okay, so before we jump into the episode, I do want to tell you guys about my birthday because I think it was the best birthday I've ever had. Again, if you guys follow me, you saw all of my adventures. I did the best I could trying to film everything. I was also heavily intoxicated, but I spent my birthday in Italy and we went to a couple places in Tuscany.

One being Forte de Marmi. Never heard of that shit in my life. Never heard of it. When I was told that's where I was going, I was like, okay, yes, sir. You're paying for the trip. Take me to fucking Timbuktu. I don't care where we're going. It was, this is how people talk about it. All the Italians I was with. It's referred to as the Hamptons of Milan. Okay, so that just gives you a little bit of a picture. Let me just say this.

The toddlers at Fort Tatum Army made me feel poor as fuck. There was one day where we were walking to dinner and we walked by this kid's playground and there were a bunch of kids racing cars. When I grew up in Utah, I would race car. I would do bumper cars. Okay. I had one place to go to. It was called Lagoon.

And you had to get a tetanus shot to fucking go. And it was disgusting, repulsive. And that's where I would play bumper cars with my friends. And eight out of the 10 bumper cars wouldn't be working. That's what I grew up with. That is why I'm humble and I'm down to earth. These kids were racing little mini Lambos and little mini Ferraris. That's what they were fucking driving around racing with each other. And I was just like...

What, where am I? Like what fucking postcard different dimension did I enter? I was literally standing there like a creep,

Just staring at all of these kids looking for a new boyfriend really a new potential boyfriend. I don't give a fuck Hey little kid like I don't care if you're not old enough to have a phone Here's my number call me when you're 18. I will be ready for you. Let your parents know I say hi Here's a piece of candy. Don't forget this face like see you in 10 years That's literally what I was about to do. That sounded really scary and I

And I take that back. But I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. It exceeded all of my expectations.

I party till like five in the morning with all of my new Italian friends. I'm gonna start like speaking in Italian using an accent and just like wearing like less makeup and just being really fucking chic, you guys. Between the Birkin and what I just said, please just like light me on fire. But the whole club saying me happy birthday when it was midnight. They brought out bottles and bottles of Dom Perignon.

And yes, for everyone asking, I was with a man. And yes, he planned the entire trip. And yes, it was very special. We did have a teeny tiny argument. And I just want to quickly just dissect it. It's a really quick story. It's really stupid because it wasn't a real argument, but...

Basically, we landed in Rome and we rented a convertible or like a BMW convertible. And we were we had the cheapest, ugliest piece of shit car there. So that puts you into perspective. There you go. I didn't see a Honda, a Toyota, a Prius like that didn't exist. It was like Lambo, Ferrari, Maserati, maybe a Mercedes. Anyways, so we get this shitty BMW and.

And we are listening to music and he thinks it will be cute to put on Sophia with an F, which is the show that you're listening to. I don't find that fucking cute.

at all zero q there's one rule if you date me i mean i'm sure there's like plenty of rules but like top five of my rules and my boundaries do not listen to the fucking show you are not allowed to listen to my podcast under any circumstances no matter what it's a rule i have it's private even though it's

Literally for hundreds of thousands of people. But you know what? When it comes to getting into a romantic relationship, he doesn't need to know all the tricks I have up my sleeve. He doesn't need to know the dick I sucked last year or whatever and how I did it. There's certain things that come with this job that I talk about publicly that I probably shouldn't even talk about publicly, but that he doesn't need to hear. So anyways...

He starts playing the podcast. I'm like, turn that shit off or something bad is going to happen. I'm going to call the police. And finally he turned it off and I was laughing, obviously, because I'm not that crazy. But we I just I explained to him like, no, we don't listen. He was like, totally. I got you. And then he started playing it again to just fuck with me and be funny. And then I just turned the stereo off and I said, fuck.

Guys, this is how I know I'm delusional and I don't realize how crazy I can be.

He actually is the one that asked me to bring this up on this episode because what I said after I turned the radio off is so crazy that he grabbed my phone and said, this needs to be something you talk about on your next episode because what just came out of your mouth is fucking insane. And I'm literally going to pull up my phone right now.

He wrote, key topic, when Sophia gets mad at me for playing her podcast out loud. Sophia says, I'm going to go to the gym for five hours. You are not going to see me when we get back to the hotel. And I'm going to take a crazy thirst trap and post on my story a thirst trap like you've never seen.

The fact that that came out of my mouth, yes, I think there was like a tinge of just comedy and me just being outlandish funny. But it came out of my, it flew out of my mouth. I didn't even realize. Who says that to someone? I'm going to go to the gym for five hours. You're not going to be able to find me or see me. And then I'm going to post a slutty ass picture with my tits out on Instagram. Is driving me in a convertible for my birthday trip.

I need to know people listening. Do you just ever say wild ass shit like this? Did I mean it? Was I actually going to go to the gym for five hours? I can barely go to the gym for 45 minutes. So obviously not. I don't know. I also don't think there's anything wrong with putting people in their place and letting them know what the fuck is up.

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Your cash back really adds up. Okay, let's get into the fucking episode. That was my birthday update, my Europe update. I probably won't be traveling for a while. And now I'm here and I'm ready to jump into this. And I'm coming in hot, you guys. Hot. Because I'm gonna get a lot of shit for what I'm about to say and what I'm about to talk about. And I don't care. I don't care.

There are a few words in the human dictionary that truly make me want to throw up. And one of them is the name of my old podcast. But the other one is the B word. And it's not the word bitch. It's the word broke.

And I'm gonna get a bunch of shit for this. I already know, I don't care, especially after I just fucking introduced my Birkin. So I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. That's really not gonna sound great, but I just have to be authentic and I don't care if I'm gonna get shit for it. This is what I wanna say. If you are broke, you should not be dating.

I'm going to let that marinate for a moment. And before I get into this, let me clarify before everyone's panties like get in a bunch. I'm not saying if you're broke, you're not worthy of love and happiness. I would never say something like that. You're just not worthy of me. I'm just kidding.

No, I'm fucking kidding you guys. I am very, very aware of how trying life can be and how hard times are, especially right now. That doesn't change my stance though. It doesn't change my stance. If anything, it reinforces what I just said. If you are broke, you should not be

scouring the bars every fucking night looking for a girl that you can fuck and trying to get laid nor should you be sitting on your phone swiping across bumble tinder whatever the fuck it is these days trying to take a girl out on a date you need to focus on yourself and i'm being dead serious if you have to run to the bathroom to check your account before you start ordering

or you're sitting there and you're suggesting that you guys split an entree or you get the fucking bill after the check and you ask to go dutch you should not be dating you shouldn't be go you shouldn't be taking people on dates you just shouldn't do it i mean just be real with the girl and be like yo you're gonna have to come over and netflix and chill because i can't afford to do anything you don't even need to let her know you can't afford it just don't be dating like that we

We have to be real with ourselves. Dating is fucking expensive. It just is straight up for everyone. So if you decide you want to date, you need to understand that and be prepared for that. No one wants to meet a new guy and just go to his house and sit and watch movies. One, that is something that could get you killed.

Secondly, that's something you can just do with your girlfriends. Girls want to be courted. Guys want to be courted too in a way. And the thing is, at the end of the day, he should be showing me why I'm choosing him over all the other candidates and fish in the sea. Okay? Okay.

And please put the fucking pitchforks down because I know there's some broke bitches listening to this saying, oh my God, Sophia, that gold digging whore and like her fucking Birkin, like she's so annoying, calling me every name underneath the sun. I've already been called it. Thank you. I don't give a fuck.

fuck I genuinely genuinely do not care I've made an amazing living for myself and there's not a damn thing wrong with wanting a partner who can sustain that with me and has accomplished the same if not more than me that's how I feel I'm not saying date a rich dude and I'm not saying date a rich dating a rich dude will solve all your problems and you will live happily ever after I'm

Hell no. Do you know how many rich guys I've met that are fucking insufferable? Like they're the worst, but they're better than the broke guy that's insufferable. Like that's the truth. The point is,

Life and dating, it's hard and you need to choose your hard. You know what I'm saying? And I'd rather my hard be with someone who can take me on a nice date without worrying about it. Let's just be real. I'd rather be getting in an argument with a guy who

inside of a Rolls Royce and not a fucking Hyundai. I think that's fucking fair to say. Like it is true. Broke guys usually have the best dick. It's true. I witnessed it firsthand. You pick the rich guy over the bomb dick. 100%. You can cheat. Just kidding. You can like, this is the thing.

The rich guy and the guy with the bomb dick, they're both going to cheat on you, right? Facts. That's it. That's just how life is. So I would rather get cheated on while I'm laying by the pool at my vacation home rather than me bagging groceries because I have to pay rent for the both of us. Like, did that push it into perspective? They're both cheating. The bomb dick is cheating. The rich guy is cheating. But...

Hi, I'll fuck the pool boy in my vacation home. You know, I've dated the broke guy before. I think we all have. Unfortunately, Yomi, have you dated a broke person? How did you feel about it? And that's all you had to say. Not great. And they are so fucking miserable to be around is the other thing I've noticed from the broke guys I've dated because I've dated a lot is I've

They have like a chip on their shoulder because at the end of the day, they don't feel good about it and they feel insecure about it. You know what I mean? Broke guys are usually the most insecure guys on the planet. I swear to God. I've seen it firsthand and it's not necessarily their fault at all because as a society, we have prided men and we have made their self-worth known

contingent on how much money they make or their profession women it's like how you look that's basically it how you look men it's how much you make and i'm not saying i agree with it at all or that that's the way that it should be but it just it is what it is and there are certain men

There are some men that I actually know personally that are secure enough with themselves that are completely fine not being the breadwinner, staying home with the kids, being stay-at-home dads. I respect them. I think it's fucking incredible. But most men aren't that confident.

I have dated guys who were so fucking insecure that everything was a problem to them. These broke dudes that I've dated. Like if I offered to pay in front of his friends or family, like,

It was the biggest blowout fight ever after dinner. And it's like, babe, your mom knows you don't have a fucking job right now. I'm trying to be sweet, pulling out my credit card. Like, what is the fucking issue? Like, if you don't like your circumstances, try to do something about it. And again, people are coming at me and they want to light me on fire.

it's this guy that I was dating, he wasn't looking for a job. He didn't give a fuck. It wasn't like the circumstances were overwhelming. Another example, if I was going out with my friends who made more money than him, girls or guys, he'd be in his feelings. If, oh my God, this one, if my friend started dating a new guy, he would always ask the exact same question. How much money does he make?

and then make a snarky remark like oh she's just dating him for his money shut the fuck up you are so insecure leave me alone do something if you want like if you're mad at yourself or being broke just fucking say that don't be mad at everyone else especially not me what the fuck what

What did I do? I'm spreading my legs at the end of the night. So they do have the best dick though. What Yomi said, it is true. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I would take Rich over dick game every day of the week, every night.

But I don't know. I could also just be a lesbian. I have said I'm bisexual. So maybe I just don't like dick that much. I'm still figuring it out. Anyways, the only time I will make an exception for being with a broke guy is if we were already together for a while and he was doing well for himself and he was obviously ambitious and then some crazy life circumstances came our way and then it all went to shit. That's obviously a different situation, but...

At the same time, you should be with someone who's financially smart enough to be ready for a situation like that. I'm not saying like they need hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings, but I'm saying do not date the guy that starts making money and his first 30k drops it on a Rolex. Okay, that's broke to me. It's just a different version of broke. Agreed? Yeah.

Thank you. Okay. People are coming around. Celeste, what do you think? She completely agrees with me. I mean, look at her. She didn't get to where she is by, you know, dating broke guys. I'll tell you that right fucking now. And because this is like a safe place, kind of, I want to be fair to the men too. I don't think you should date a broke bitch. Honestly. I think it goes both ways. Like,

looking good and sucking dick to get ahead is something I completely advocate for. Fuck your way up to the top. I swear to God, I mean that. But it can only get you so far. Because do you know how many girls are out here trying to do that? A lot of girls. A lot of them. And...

I just, I think that guys can want the same thing in their relationship. They want to be with someone who's on their level, at least in terms of ambition or whatever it is. But I'm going to wrap this up right now. The real takeaway is if there's a certain lifestyle that you want, and this is a lifestyle that you are already living or you're working towards living independently without a man,

Why would you take steps back and date a broke guy? I will never make that mistake again, ever. But if you are voluntarily dating a broke dude, then you're a fucking bozo and like you need to reevaluate things.

Okay, love isn't enough. Love is just not simply enough. Sure, it should be the main component. I agree with that. Great. Kumbaya. Let's all hold hands. But it's not enough to be the only thing keeping you with someone. I'm not saying you have to be with Warren Buffett, but broke is broke. Okay. And like my queen Nicki Minaj said, broke people should never laugh. I'm pretty sure that's what she said.

I think I just won the award for most obnoxious fucking segment ever. But if you guys see like I'm good hearted about this, I'm being serious and there's like some truth to it. Oh, last thing. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever under any circumstances, let anyone or any guy make you feel bad about it. Because the reality is the only people who will be mad at this are broke guys, right?

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And now it is time to get into a little thing I like to call Sloot University and classes and fucking session. And I have quite the story time for you guys. And I have quite the fucking class today. All right, so pull your fucking notebooks out. Today, we're going to talk about post hookup etiquette. You heard that correctly. I'm not talking about calling her the Uber girl.

After you fucked I'm not talking about handing her the cum rag after you come on her to be a gentleman. That's not the type of post hookup etiquette I'm talking about. I'm talking about the etiquette of when you see the person you just fucked in a public forum.

Some of you, and I mean people of all gender identities, you guys don't know how to act, how to behave, how to speak after you get pussy or dick. You guys just don't know how to act and this needs to be taken care of and we need to get this under control immediately. So...

Again, we're talking about the after. It's after you guys have already hooked up and you run into each other outside of the bedroom.

like at a bar or a restaurant or something like that because let me tell you there is a certain proper etiquette to this and something to follow and I am here to check some manners and if it sounds like I'm talking about something that just happened from personal experience you would be correct. This show is based on my real life experiences. Something did happen very recently

And I'm going to air that bitch out. I'm not going to use her name, but I'm going to use her as a fucking example right now. Okay, here we go. So a couple days ago or a couple weeks ago, I went out on a date and it was this really nice Italian restaurant. It was just me and the guy I'm talking to. It was really romantic. We were sitting outside and

And about halfway into our date, I see this girl walking down the sidewalk and she's holding hands with her boyfriend and is staring at me like fucking staring into my soul. Okay. Kind of weird. Whatever. I just brush it off. Next thing I know, this girl is at my table.

And she doesn't even look in my direction. She says hi to the guy I'm on a date with. Again, does not acknowledge me, says hi to the guy I'm on a date with, gives him a hug, then walks away, grabs her boyfriend and they just continue down the street. So naturally, what do I do?

pull out my fucking badge and I start a full-fledged investigation because what the fuck else would you do am I crazy no anyone in my situation would do the same thing I had a fucking flashlight I had handcuffs I was like who was that bitch hi baby um can you pour me some more water and oh who the fuck was that bitch that's exactly what I did so I

At first, he didn't want to tell me who it was. But the thing is, it wasn't in like a I'm trying to not be honest with you way. It was in a I'm trying to be a gentleman and like we're on a date kind of way. Well, actually, maybe it was a little bit of that, but I think it was more so he knows me and my personality and he was fucking terrified because he knew that.

that I was about to go balls to the wall. You know what I'm saying? Like I was, I was ready to sit there and fucking ask him who that was until he like made some shit up. Even if he didn't even know that bitch, I was going to interrogate him until he made up a story. And then I would go home happy. Like I'm not even kidding. Who is she? Yeah.

Who the fuck is she? Like, what are you guys, you know, cousins? Are you guys cousins? Are you like, what's happening? You know, he then proceeds to tell me that that girl had given him a blowjob at a bar mitzvah like five or six years earlier.

Okay. So he was honest with me. He also told me it was a one-time thing. He said they never spoke again after that. They didn't even exchange numbers. He was like, I don't even have that girl's phone number. That was the only time I've ever seen her. So interesting being a guy like I know all the dicks I've sucked. Do I? Could I pull them up?

Like on Instagram. Like could I pick them out of a lineup? I feel like I could pick out any dick that's been in my mouth. So he comes clean. He tells me about the blowjob. And he gives me this information. And I realized like we just spent 20 minutes of our date talking about this bitch. Maybe it's what she wanted. Maybe not. I don't know. But I started to really think about it. And I was like, this needs to be talked about. Because it's...

A, no one talks about this. B, I felt bad for this bitch's boyfriend. Did we remember that aspect to the story? She was walking down the street with her boyfriend. Like, what was their conversation after she left? And the point is, is why would you go out of your way to say hi to a dick that you have sucked in the past?

Because you want to suck it again. That's what I took from it. That's the only explanation, right? If I was walking down the street, would I say hi to a dick that I sucked six years ago? No.

I wouldn't even say hi to him if he was alone. Would you acknowledge a man whose penis you previously had in your mouth while he was on a date? While he was on a date and you were walking with your boyfriend? Absolutely fucking not. So let's talk about the etiquette because it's a little bit complex because it changes depending on what type of hooking up was happening, right?

It changes depending on the setting. Are you on a date or are you just like with your bros blackout? And it changes on who you are in this situation. Are you the girl trying to be a mean girl? And like, I don't know, you think saying hi to the guy's dick that you sucked all of a sudden he's going to like slide into your DMs.

Probably not, but I will be looking at his phone and I will be getting back to you guys. What is important here? What's important here is how we're going to move forward because there is a right and a wrong way to approach someone you've hooked up with out in the real world. Okay. And again, it varies depending on the setting, who you are in the situation, what type of hooking up was happening. So let's start with the type of hookup that was happening. Okay. If it was a one night stand, a two night stand, um,

anything less than a four-time hookup situation, move along. You do not need to say hi to that individual. There is absolutely no reason. If it was a one-time blowjob, like this fucking example, or the entire hookup, it just reeked of, I am using you and like you're just a hole, or you are just fucking a guy and completely using him,

There is no reason to say hi to a person like that in the street. As a rule of thumb, actually, that's a really good one. If you have never exchanged numbers with the person, you do not need to acknowledge them in public. There is a reason you guys didn't exchange numbers. It's so you guys never have to see each other ever again or have a way to contact each other. You guys will both be just fine without exchanging hellos.

Especially if they are romantically and physically with someone. And so are you. Which brings me to the next thing. The setting. Okay? Because if that girl would have gone up to the guy I'm talking to while he was alone or while he was just with like his homies, by all means, throw your arms around him. Give him a hug. Hi!

Hi, oh my God. Remember at that bar mitzvah when I like choked on your dick? Ah, it was fucking crazy. Go for it. That's fine. I'm not there. It's not gonna hurt my feelings. What I don't know can't hurt me. Great. If I am there...

And the cherry on top, you are walking with your boyfriend. You are embarrassing. You are fucking embarrassing. And it's just it's not a good look for you. And especially after, you know, he made it very clear what the situation was. But I think this is the most important part. Who are you in the scenario? Case in point, in the story I just told you,

I, for example, if you are the victim in this case, a.k.a. me, and a girl you don't know goes up to your man while you're out with him, feel free to ask him what the fuck is up.

And only if you guys have been on a few dates and you know he's in love with you. Okay? The first few times you're out with a guy, you can't really ask him, hey, why did that girl just go up to you? Unless you just don't care about this man, then this could be a great way to like make your boring date fun. But you got to make sure you either have him wrapped around your finger or...

You're a few dates fucking in. Like if I'm on a first date and a girl goes up to a guy, I'm not about to be like, I'm sorry, who was that? He's like, who the fuck are you? You just sat down here 10 minutes ago. No. Then you have the attacker, which is the bar mitzvah girl. And that's the name we're fucking giving her from here on out. Okay, so

She is the attacker in this situation, and I think I've made it pretty clear already. Go up to him when he's alone or just like with a bunch of dudes, okay? Even if you're questioning like, oh, is that his girlfriend? Is that his sister? Have some respect. Don't even go there. And the last part to this equation is...

the guy in this scenario, the monkey in the middle, which is her boyfriend and my date. How is my date supposed to act in this situation? Should he just be forthcoming with me? Should he try to not say anything? Cause like we're on a nice date, dah, dah, dah.

The proper etiquette here is don't offer up the information. Like if that girl would have walked away and the guy I'm dating was like, oh my God, that girl sucked my dick. Like it was fucking wild. I would be like, you're disgusting. Day is over. If I straight up ask you, you should absolutely just come clean with what, with what you did with that girl.

I don't know if I am just like the jealous type, but I have never been able to understand those women who don't inquire about

After someone they don't know runs up to their man and says hi to their boyfriend. I've seen it happen. I've been at dinner with other couples. A girl goes up to the guy, says hi, walks away. And the girlfriend just sits there and doesn't say anything. I don't care if we're at dinner with your grandparents or your friends. I'm meeting them for the first time. I am turning around and I'm causing a scene and I'm asking in front of them straight up.

like I just I can't keep that shit in for that long and I you know what I think that's like really admirable and a great thing I'm just I'm honest I'm blunt and I

I don't think it's healthy to hold on to negative emotions. Okay? And I'll let your parents know and your grandparents know. This, it goes both ways. Everything I ever say on this podcast, usually nine times out of ten, it goes both ways. This goes for guys too. If we're on a date and a guy comes up to me, I would expect you to ask me what that was about after. You know? Like that's just how it goes, right?

If you try to do the whole, she's just a friend or it's just a girl I know,

That sounds I would rather you say I I fucked that girl and her sister 78 times in a row last weekend because that sounds better to me than like this fucking opaque like cryptic. I don't know like did it a fuck off. You do know and I'd rather you tell me like she sucked your dick straight up.

I sound very deranged. Miss B, thank you for being here and keeping me fucking classy. Have some respect for people out in public that you have hooked up with. Okay? Like, you guys fucked. There should be like some teeny tiny level of respect. And that respect level is entering the witness protection program. You and him and never acknowledging each other ever again. Okay? Okay?

Thank you. Thank you.

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All right, you guys, let's get into questions. SOS, save our sleuths, questions, stories, advice. These are fucking insane and my favorite part of the episode. So let's fucking go.

Question number one. Sophia, love the podcast and most of all, love you. I have an embarrassing problem. I fart when I orgasm. I've never been able to cum with a guy, but when I'm with myself, I fart.

I can, but I always fart. I'm scared that this will happen when I'm fooling around with a guy and I eventually, God willing, come with him. How do I stop this or what do I say if it happens? Do you think I could pass it off as a queef?

Hard hitting questions. So obviously I've had an orgasm and farted. Obviously, like that's happened to me before or I just like accidentally farted during sex. That's like a normal thing. If you're farting every single time you have an orgasm, I think like

personally don't think farts are uncontrollable. Just hearing myself. I don't think that they are uncontrollable. Okay. Sometimes they can be. I understand. I've been there. But if you're farting every single time you come, I think you need to pay attention to that and get a little more control of your bodily functions. Maybe do like some asshole exercises. I'm, I don't know if an asshole works the same as a vagina and you can do like Kegels.

There's got to be something, you know, like you should be able to contain a fart if need be. Also, don't eat fucking cheese. I don't know what to tell you, girlfriend. If it does happen, your follow up question. Yes, you can pass it off as a queef. Best thing to do. Don't say anything. Don't say shit. If you draw attention to it, then that is when you're digging a grave.

If it smells so fucking horrible, you guys have to like escape the room, then say something. But this is only if it smells. If it's just a sound, let it be a sound. That could have come from your armpit. That could have come from your vagina. That could have been a burp. Like, just let it be.

You're in the middle of fucking like just let it go. Okay, next question. Hi, Sophia. I was wondering if you could address this, but when is the right time to open up in a relationship about a fetish or a kink you have? Mine, which is a wedgie fetish, is particularly weird. And I'm not sure if I'm upfront about this or what. I just don't know what to do. Thanks. And I'm a big fan of the show.

Swear to God, I had someone write this in like first 10, 20 episodes of my podcast. They had a wedgie fetish too. I mean, that's not for me. We don't kink shame, but like what the, I feel like that would just hurt. I don't even know how that would, but you know what? That doesn't matter. When do you bring it up?

You don't bring that shit up on a first date. There's nothing to be ashamed of. But like this person, you're still... You're putting your best foot forward. Not that that's a bad foot. Okay? I'm not saying that. I'm just saying you... It's like guys don't know I'm fucking crazy on the first date. They find that out 10 dates later when like they...

you know, are in love or obsessed or they have feelings. Okay, that's when I let the crazy flag fly. Kinks, same fucking thing. When you feel like this person actually likes you or you feel very comfortable with them, as a rule of thumb, I would say,

You would have to have at least three to four to five sex sessions before you bring this up. Regular sex, you know? There's levels to this shit, okay? We go up a little bit each time.

You know? Okay, next question. Hey, Sophia, love your show. Today, my super Catholic mom who is not sex positive found my vibrator. I was going to try to play it off like it was a portable charger or something, but thought she would see through it. She got super confused and seemed kind of upset when I told her. She then just went to bed, but I'm scared she's going to bring it up. Please help ASAP. What should I do? Maybe you have a good perspective being from Utah, LOL.

I would either lie to your mom and try to cover it up and say, it actually isn't mine. It's my friend, blah, blah, blah. I would do that shit all the time when my mom would like find stolen clothes. Oh my God, that's my friend Kiara's. Like just say it's someone else's. If you don't want to do that though, then...

I think you should just tell your mom that there were kids in school talking about it and one of them had it and let you borrow it, but you don't want to say their name. So basically what I just said, just don't own up to it unless you're a ballsy ass bitch. But it sounds like your mom might be a little closed minded and there might not be any point. But you

You can always just be real with her and say, I've been having urges. I wanted to try this out. It's normal, you know, to have sexual urges. And I think this is a healthy way to discover my body and my sexuality and hopefully have a fucking orgasm mom and come all over this vibrator. Thank you. Let me know when you want to borrow it, bitch. Okay, that was a 180. All right, last question.

urgent. Hello, Fofia. Fofia, very funny. Okay, I have a question for you and it's something I don't think I've heard you discuss on your podcast. Is it normal after being cheated on to want to know all of the details of what happened?

It was a really good question. My boyfriend cheated on me and for some sick reason, my mind wants to know when they fucked, how long, if her pussy was good, if he came inside her, pretty much everything. Am I sick in the head for wondering this? Also, he cheated on me with a nasty bitch from work. So should I call her a disgusting evil cunt or should I just leave her out of it?

If the girl knew that he had a girlfriend, you can call her a cunt. If your guy was fucking lying to her and was like, I don't have a girlfriend, then like you can't really be mad at her. But to your first question, wanting to know all the details after someone's cheated. Very, very common. Very, very interesting.

I think getting cheated on is a very hard pill to swallow and whatever makes you feel good, do it. Like it's like grieving. Like I can't tell you the right way to feel better about a situation, but

I would probably do the same shit, to be honest. Like, I would probably ask some details. Because at that point, it's like, you know they cheated. Are you going to hurt more if he tells you he came in her? Or, like, your feelings aren't going to be hurt more at that point, at least for me. And if you ask if her pussy was bomb and he says yeah, then he is fucking –

Then we're fighting. Then we're fucking fighting. Your boyfriend is a fucking idiot and you shouldn't date him because that is wild. If he says that, he should be lying. And the girl is getting beat up. But I think it's normal to ask those questions.

Okay. Yomi's fucking fighting him. We are fighting. But like if you're just doing this in like a sadomasochist kind of way and you just like want to hurt yourself and like lay in that, then you know better. You know better. If it's going to hurt your feelings, then don't do it. You asking those questions is not going to make you feel better. I can tell you that. So if it's going to make you feel worse, don't ask. But if you're like me and you're a little bit

and you can ask that without getting pissed, then do it. I just think once they cheated, it's like, what's the difference if like her pussy was great and he splooged up in her? Cool, great. Then go cheat again. Like, bye. Okay, guys. Woo! It is getting hot in this room. I am starting to sound fucking deranged. Just kidding. I sounded like that from the beginning. Miss B...

Thank you so much for joining. You are stunning. Phenomenal. I wish I had your curves. I am obsessed with you. You are going to be coming with me every day. Guys, thanks so much for tuning in. Me and my Birkin. Thank you. It'll be us from here on out. We are a power couple and I will talk to you next week. Bye.