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Hi everyone, welcome to Sophia with an F. I guess I should say we. I'm here with Stella Berry right now. You guys already fucking know her. You're like a honorary co-host at this point. This is only my third time, but I would say...
That's a shit ton. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm a returning guest here. That's a lot. Like the most returning guests I've had. I'm really flattered, honestly. Really? I'll be a co-host, okay? Just like anytime you need me, just call me up. I'll do it over FaceTime. I'll do it anytime. I need that. I need that. Because last week I just talked to myself for an hour and it was like, I left here. It was so good. But it's like fucking wild to talk to yourself for an hour.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know how you do it. I don't know either. But guys, I'm here with Stella. If you, this is like your first episode, Stella Berry. She is known as anal princess on TikTok, wherever else. And you're an OnlyFans superstar. Thank you. I'm pretty sure it's
0.01% that you're in. At the top, baby. I'm snapping. I don't know if you guys can hear that, but you heard that correctly. We're recording from WTF Media Studios, the only studio you should record from. I am so excited to have you on. I have so much shit I want to talk about with you because I feel like the last few times you were on was...
We just could not stop talking. We needed like a third time. Yeah. First thing is chain smokers. Yeah. Tell me about that. How did that even happen? You were like in their music video where you're fucking with one of them or what? No, I fucked them and I was their muse until they went to make a video. I wish that's what it was, but no, um, they hit me up.
via DM or what? The manager emailed Sawyer, my manager, and said, hey, they've been trying to hit her up on Instagram, but I don't accept DMs from anybody. Like, I don't, my DMs are, that are not open. See, I accept them. I just don't look at them. And then I get fucked because people think I just like,
I'm ignoring that. It's too much. It's too hectic. I can't respond to a message. So I was just like, I'm just not going to have anyone be able to DM me except if we both follow each other. Wait, why do you have that feature? Originally, it's because Sawyer, my manager, told me that Instagram also tracks your messages or like sees your messages, which obviously they do. And so everybody always is messaging me. Where's your porn? What's your OnlyFans? Where's your porn? I want to see your asshole. And
I get every, every Instagram DMs, right? Yeah. Where's your asshole? Literally. Where is the asshole? And so she thinks that that's one more reason why I was getting banned all the time. Cause I wouldn't even share like crazy stuff and I wouldn't link my only fans. And I've had so many Instagrams deleted. So I was like, let me just make a Finsta share nothing sexual in here. Just share the photos of my life that I have nowhere else to put, you know, like pictures of a squirrel eating a sandwich. And yeah,
And I just won't accept DMs because it's a waste of time to spend time on Instagram anyway for me. Like I don't get new fans there. Right. How many Instagrams have you had deleted? At least 10. TikToks, how many? At least 15. I'm telling you, I'm a cockroach of the internet. Like this is all that it is. I just keep spawning. We need to like give you a complete alias. Like you need to like go into the witness protection program and create a TikTok. Honestly, I might just like...
create a new performer name like Stella Berry died and now I will be Sandra Martinelli
Okay, that is... Imagine. I'm going to cry that you just said that. Sandra Morinelli for the OG people, you know who the fuck that is. That is when I was stalking my, at the time, I was about to call my boyfriend. He was my boyfriend. I was literally his whole and not his girlfriend and just a girl he fucked. But I was so obsessed with him. I was stalking his ex-girlfriend's profile and I accidentally double tapped...
one of her pictures from 2013, like literally when Instagram first came out, wanted to die. So I hurried and changed my screen name to Sandra Martinelli.
It's such a good name. Imagine Sandra Martinelli becomes literally the next big porn star, like number one on Pornhub. I was like, I don't know what else to do. Is it an Italian last name? I don't know where the... I think the Martinelli came from like club soda that like was sitting on my counter. And I think the Sandra came from like...
One of the cleaning ladies that my aunt had like during that time. And I just put two and two together. I have no idea where Sandra Martinelli came, but now it's here. So now she's doing porn. I honestly might do that. I might just reinvent myself.
If you want to use the name Sandra Martinelli, like you're more than welcome to. So chain smokers. Oh, yeah. That's where I forgot we were talking. I know. OK, so what actually happened? They hit up my manager and said they wanted me to be in the new music video. And like we had to film it in a week. And so I was like, OK, Sawyer, I want to do this, but not if I'm just going to be one of 30 girls in like a club.
Right. That's what I thought it would be. Right. I've been asked to go on music videos too. And I'm like, I'm going to be in the club dress with a bottle of champagne. There's like 50 girls. I was like, it's just not, it's like a waste of my time if I'm doing that. But then I got on the phone call with them and the, it was just the creative director and the video director. And the creative director said that his wife showed my interview with you on your podcast to them. She showed it to him on a road trip one time. And, um,
She was like, I'm obsessed with this person and I feel like it'd be really good for the new music video to have her in it. And so he watched all my content and wanted to do a video inspired by my relationship with my Drew. One of the main guys in the Chainsmokers is named Drew.
Oh, wait. That irony, I did not even realize. So your guy right now, your boyfriend is Drew. Drew, yeah. And then it was Drew from the Chainsmokers that you like filmed with. So they're both Drews. And so we were supposed to do two videos in a two-day shoot. And the main video and the main concept that was pitched was like all about showing the intimacy of my relationship off camera. Because obviously everyone sees Drew and I very intimate on camera. Mm-hmm.
And so they wanted to see like what it's like to have an intimate, loving relationship off camera. With, wait, hold on. With your boyfriend or with Drew from the Chainsmokers? With my boyfriend. Like they were taking, they were inspired by the intimacy of my relationship with my boyfriend. And they wanted to capture that in a video and have Drew from the Chainsmokers play my boyfriend.
Okay, got it. And so I like sent them this long email that they asked for of all these intimate moments that I have with my Drew all the time, like when he's washing dishes and I'm cooking and we're talking or when we're building furniture together or when I'm laying on his lap while he's like playing Angry Birds or like it shows us like almost about to have sex and it pans and he actually has a camera and stuff. Like just like the interesting moments
of private and public and how it's meshed. Right, and the natural state that you live in. And it was honestly a beautiful concept too because it just shows... It was to a love song and it shows...
that sex workers have really intimate, loving relationships and they're deserving of that and what it looks like. So many people are so curious about what that looks like. And so it was just a beautiful concept and it was so validating to me and I felt so honored that they even were inspired by my relationship. Right. So I was like happy to do it. On top of that, they paid me really well. So thank you, Columbia Records. Yeah.
But I literally would have done it for free because it was so cute. And then the other, so that was supposed to be like the day shoot. And then the next week they were going to release another video that we shot the next day that was like the night version and it was his life. So it was like going out, having sex in a club, like having fun, just a party video. So then what ended up happening is we shot the whole video. It was so fun. It was amazing, but it was really rushed.
And we didn't get enough content, I guess, for the first video. And so they ended up just putting clips from that first video of us like in the daytime into that party video. Got it. Got it. So it didn't end up being like everything that was it was meant to be. But it was still awesome. And I'm just flattered I even got to do it. And that they noticed me. I mean...
Of course they would. Are you fucking kidding? Well, what was the coolest part and what I'm very flattered about is like they're very self-aware and them and their creative director were like, yeah, we know like we're not cool anymore. Like it's embarrassing to be a Chainsmokers fan. And I was like, you are spot fucking on because in all their comments, someone's like, I'm your biggest fan. And someone comes back like, that is so embarrassing, dude. Like, I can't even breathe right now. No, literally they're like, we know that we're like not cool because they got too big too fast. Like, yeah. And so they're like, we are in a stage in our career. We want to like hone in
on with our huge fan base we want to find our fans that are into what we're into actually and like own a closer fan base that has similar interest to us right and so i guess i was there to make them cool you know and wow celebrity the cool factor you were the cool factor for them yeah no i mean i totally feel that it's like when i look back and i think about call her daddy and i'm like
die sorority. I know more like you have to evolve. Yeah. You have to evolve and you have to like, like super fans are the most powerful thing. Everybody wants a lot of followers, but it's honestly way more power, powerful to have a few followers that are very loyal. Right. And then, and then you're not for everybody and no one wants somebody that's for everybody. Unfortunately, obviously I want to have a million to 10 million, 20 million, a hundred million followers. Right.
But not everyone is for everybody. No, exactly. But I love that. I mean, when I saw that you were filming with the Chainsmokers for the music video, I was like, oh, like they love Stella. They think she's hot. Boom, done. Right. There was like a whole thing behind it. Yeah. And that's why I'm a little sad. Like the first video didn't get released because that was a real point, you know? Oh.
That was the real point. Like it was showing, there was such a message to it and such a cultural significance at a time like right now where OnlyFans is part of mainstream media and the younger generation is so...
much more understanding that sex workers are real people that are deserving of love and their job is a legal industry and it's also extremely influential in mainstream culture. So to show their support for that by showing someone in a loving sex worker relationship and showing them filming their girlfriends nudes and stuff is like such an amazing message. So I want everyone to know, like even though that didn't get shown,
necessarily they still meant it they still gave me that experience and I got to literally make out for two days straight with the one of the chains workers drew okay on camera like they would be like all right for the next five minutes just like make out and it was amazing wait hold on see I need to uh
You said you were so horny. I was so horny the whole time. Hold on. I need to ask you about this. Yeah. For real. Do you have a boyfriend? Oh, God. Yeah, I called Drew my boyfriend, but I'm open to having other boyfriends as well. So you're polyamorous? I guess so. Open relationship? I guess so. I don't know. It just happened to me. And now I'm just trying to figure out what it is. Right. And I'm struggling with it every day. Are you? Yeah. I mean, I feel like we should dive deep into this. Yeah. Because I...
I am not dealing with the same thing, but I feel like I potentially could. I understand though that you kind of are because how you said it, like you could see yourself having babies and being with this man you just broke up with, but it's just right now it's just not the right one. Right. It's so hard to like, I think a lot of people feel that you have this person that that's a safety, but they, but you also might have somebody who's even better out there. Right. And you're just, it's not settling. It's not settling. It's not settling. But I, I'm curious, like,
Does Drew your boyfriend? How does he feel about it? Like, how did he feel about the music video? How does he feel about you hooking up with other people? So just hooking up with other people, filming with other people. He totally understands because like we're both whores.
Like we're dirty fucking whores. And that's why we're soulmates. Because we can talk about that. Like I can talk about all the relationships I cheated in. And he can talk about all the relationships he cheated in. Okay. And we can talk about like who we find hot and who we want to fuck. And we're just, we're best friends. So can you go fuck someone?
and then come home and be like, baby, I just fucked this dude. It was like this. And Drew was like, I'm down. Cool. Thanks for sharing. This is what's hard for me. And there's a whole story to this, which I think will help us
people understand that I've fallen into polyamory and I never really chose it. And I'll tell that. But first I'll say like, there's times I go hook up with people on or off camera. Like I go film with Alex Adams. He knows I go and film with him when I'm with Alex. I fucking like eight times off camera and one time on camera. And there's a lot of emotions involved. And like, I want to have his baby someday. And I go on dates with him and like, Drew knows this. And obviously it's not like his ideal situation, but it's also like, he knows that it is how it is.
- Right. - And also like I can tell Drew about it and he doesn't care 'cause he knows he's so valuable to me. Like he knows he is my soulmate in so many ways. But then there's other times I fuck people and I go back to sleep in bed with Drew that night and I do not tell him even though I could and he wouldn't like get mad. - Right. - But I don't wanna hurt his feelings. - Right, no, I totally get that 100%. - Yeah. - I totally feel that. I mean, there's like layers to that, right? - Yeah. - 'Cause it's like Alex Adams, that's work, quote unquote.
there's like a different element to it. But I mean, I understand it because I, you know, am dating and the guys that I'm dating will get really upset when I'm like, oh,
Oh, I'm going to go meet up with this guy, this celebrity, whatever. And they get very, very jealous. The moment they get jealous like that, I am out. You're out? Oh my God, I'm out. That's why Drew is perfect for me. Because the moment a guy is like, I don't want you doing this. I don't want you doing that. I know, it's an issue. I literally get the ick and I run away.
If a man tells me to do anything. I know. Except in the bedroom. Literally in the bedroom. That's why Drew's perfect for me, though, because he's so submissive in real life. Like, he's just happy to let me live whatever life I want. Like, if I want to be like, I'm going to go on a sugar daddy's yacht next week and, like, just let him blow my back out and, like, run trains on me. He'd be like, all right, baby, like, have fun. Because he knows he's fucking special to me. But, um...
he's also very secure. Yeah. He's a very secure dude. But then in the bedroom, I literally want you to tell me what to do the entire time. Right. He's very dominant in the bedroom. I love that. So he's submissive outside. Very dominant. Yeah. Those are fucking my ideal situation. I love that. And the whole thing is like, so I obviously broke up with my guy and I've been like talking to new guys. There's one in particular and like,
I was going to go... I'm not going to call it a date. I was going to go hang out with someone else who's in the industry who could potentially, like, help my career in some way, shape, or form. And he freaked the fuck out. And I'm like... And that's, like, a necessary action for you. Like, you can't fucking not do the shit that's good for your career. But his whole thing, and I want to get your opinion on this, is why can't you just be honest with the dude and say...
I don't want to fuck you. I want to hang out for business purposes. Because they won't fucking hear you out. Exactly. They won't. Like, why kill the spark? That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I'll tell them I won't fuck them after they've done all of the work shit I need them to do for me. That is our power as women. Exactly. Is there like, maybe if I talk to them, like, they'll want to fuck. And also, it also just in general makes you look kind of
and annoying. And when you're trying to relate to people and connect with people and network, you
you can't throw any of that stuff out there. Like, by the way, I have boundaries and these are them. Like instead, just fucking don't fuck them. Can you, can you imagine? So the action is more important, right? The guy that reached out to me, right? He's like, let's go grab dinner, et cetera. Can you imagine if I responded with, I have a boyfriend, but I'm willing to go to dinner. Like we wouldn't go to dinner. Wow.
I don't know why. The day would never happen. Because it's like, yes, you have a boyfriend and yes, you're not going to fuck, but you don't say that shit. You don't say it. No, you have to use every ounce of pussy that you have to succeed in this world. You have to use every ounce of whatever you fucking have. With mine, it's my butthole to succeed in this world. Like you only have one life. They can't limit you. I have pussy power. You have butthole power. Together we are unstoppable. But it's like, I don't think it's fucked up.
To use my pussy and the fact that this guy probably wants to fuck me to my advantage. That will advance my career. No. And literally, Drew tells me, he's like, babe, when you go on that podcast, like, remember, you're a porn star and men want to see you look like a porn star. So, like, look like a porn star.
Like, show your titties. Like, stop being so conservative and organic. On the podcast, you're like, so that's audio, by the way. Yeah, literally. But it's like, he understands. He's like, you need to, like, if you want to be successful, like, you just work what you've got, you know? So Drew supports it. Oh, yeah. He's such a slut. But there's, like, there's certain elements that he doesn't. Well, he...
He would die for me. Like, he is so in love with me and I see that every time I look. I know. He's an amazing man. He has crazy stories too because he was like an alcoholic since he was 13 years old. Now he's sober, but he has a crazy life and crazy stories. I bet. So this is the backstory of why like I'm in this situation now. He's actually the first man I never cheated on. Like, we were together for two years.
Let's see. Yeah, two years. And I never wanted to fuck anyone else. The first time in my entire life that I have not been the crazier person in the relationship and I didn't get bored. Like I was worried he'd get bored of me because he's psycho. Wow. Which I love. But anyway. Oh.
He went to a psych unit for the third time during our relationship. And this was like his worst manic episode ever. He just destroyed my fucking life. Like he destroyed my apartment. Which by the way, so Drew has a mental illness. Yeah, he has bipolar and really intense. And you make jokes about it, whatever. Yeah. And people like get upset about it for some reason. But it's like...
Yeah, he fucking jokes about it. He jokes about it. It's hilarious. It's his whole life. It's a fucking superpower, but with superpower comes great responsibility. Ask Kanye. Yeah, literally. Oh my God, it's hilarious. He cracks up so much because every time he watches Kanye's interviews, like, Kanye will be mid-sentence and he'll just stop and, like, stare. And, and,
Then Joe Rogan was like, man, are you okay? And he was like, sorry, I was doing a prayer. And that legit, Drew has done that like a hundred times when he's manic. All manic people are pretty much the same, which is that they are absolutely insane. But they're also geniuses.
And they're geniuses. Yeah, they're geniuses. And there's nothing wrong with you or him joking about it, talking about it casually because you're in it. He thinks it's hilarious. He's like, right. Why do you guys need to tiptoe around it? Yeah. Talk about it in a very like medical, like professional way. If anything, that I think makes it worse. It's like, why are we trying to make it sound like a. Yeah, he's my like crazy manic fucking homeless.
And you love it. I love it. And he loves it. And he loves it. And it's hot, too. Like, we loved that I was like this goody two shoes, like pre-med student working at the front desk of the homeless shelter. And I was just getting dicked down with like his cum dripping out of my ass, like in his dirty ass car and then going to work. Like, that was the hot part about it. It was hot that he was psycho. And somehow I am super stable. Like, I'm a weirdly stable person. And yet him and I have the exact same brain. And you guys came together. Yeah. Your sex must be just fucking.
I can't. Literally, fuck a bipolar Marine veteran and you will have the best sex of your life. I am putting that on a t-shirt. Literally. In the back of their Nissan Rogue. I love that. That was the first time you fucked him. Yeah. So, okay. The first hundred times I fucked him. The first hundred was in a car. Oh, so this was the story. So, he goes manic and he...
I fly him to Florida and he's gone for like five months. I just had to get him out of my apartment 'cause he was ruining my life. And he goes to like eight different psych units during that time and we're broken up and done. And I had relied on him like for all of my content, you know? Like I filmed only with him and he was the person I liked having sex with. So once he was gone, I was like, I have to do this shit myself. I had to fly out different guys. I had to make a whole new business model for myself, fucking men that I don't know.
And so. Oh my God. So I got comfortable with that and I made a whole new business for myself and it was thriving and doing really well. And in the process, I fucked Alex Adams and fell for him a lot. And we got a lot of emotions involved and we both like each other and I literally could have my babies with him someday. Mm-hmm.
If I live near him, I will date him. But I live far away right now. Right. I really like Alex. He's so similar to Drew in a lot of ways, but he's also way more stable. Drew is like my baby. Alex is like my daddy. Yeah.
Feel that. Yeah, and Alex is like the stable love and Drew is like the wild love. You're the caretaker a little. Even though Alex is fucking crazy too. He's very, he's really mature and has his shit together. So Alex Adams, he does porn and OnlyFans. Yeah. He does actually, he hardly does OnlyFans. So he does porn called like Family Therapy, Perfect Mom, I think.
I think. Okay. I love that. Yeah. And he probably posts once a week on Pornhub and then he posts all his videos like four or five times a week on his own websites. Right. And he makes a good, good amount of money. As much as I do. We love that. He's such a daddy. He's so sexual. He's such a daddy and he's got all his sports cars because he's irresponsible spender.
Ooh. Yeah. Do we like that? But also he's fully sober, just like Drew, except he's even, he's sober from weed as well. Like he's sober from everything. I love a sober man. Like previous addict, now sober. I love. Wait, why? Well, one, yeah, they're kinky as fuck, but also. When I get sober, I'm going to fuck like a, you've never seen.
The only thing that he has to get him high now is buying cars and fucking porn stars like four times a week. Yeah, literally. He can not like three times in like 30 minutes. But it's so crazy to me the fact that you guys just filmed together, right? It was just a work thing to film porn. And then you guys got feelings because I was trying to watch porn the other day. This is not a joke. And it wasn't doing it for me the way it used to in the past. And I think it was because...
the like are these people actually feeling good are they having actual whatever but you and alex
Did a porn. Yeah. And it was strictly work. Yeah. And you guys got feelings after. We actually, he came over to my place the first night we ever met and we just fucked. And it was amazing. Best sex of my fucking life. Before you guys filmed? Yeah. And we were like, oh shoot. Cause we're fucked. Two horny people. Like we couldn't control it. We're supposed to film. We just didn't. We just fucked. And then we're like, oh, it's too late. So he came back the next morning and we fucked again. And then we're like, fuck, we need to film this. So we filmed again for him. And then we filmed again for me.
Okay. And already I was like, I love this man. Like he just, he fucks so good. You're horny as fuck. I know. How are you that horny? Like I do it. I can come like the right men twice, maybe three times. I'm like, I am good for the next three days. I, I think it's why it's my career. Honestly, I know. And I'm jealous. How do I make myself horny? Uh, honestly, I could go months without sex. Uh, no, I probably couldn't. Yeah. Wait, I could go without sex for,
for a while, if I didn't have certain people in my life like Drew and Alex Adams, because like I find men that are so ravenously horny that they are constantly keeping sex in my mind.
So I think that's what it is. Like I couldn't do this job all alone. Right. In my bedroom. Like I need a man to dick me down and ignite that spark in me like every day. I feel that. And also like anal too. Like if I was just having vaginal sex all the time, I bet you I would get bored. I bet you I would. Would you rather vaginal or anal sex?
If you could only have one for the rest of your life. It'd have to be anal. And it's so sad because I would love to say vaginal, but one, you get UTIs. I get UTIs all the fucking time. Yeast infections, BV. I fucking hate it. Anal, I never have one problem. And the intensity is never boring. Like I will never, ever get bored of anal. It's the first relationship I've never cheated in. And I think that's because anal keeps me constantly satisfied.
I feel so dominated by the man. He just looks like a daddy and I'm like, I want to do anything you say. I mean, that's insane. So if you feel like you want to cheat or you feel like maybe your husband wants to cheat, do anal. I just can't believe like anal saves marriages. It's basically like what you just said. And I literally would have never imagined this, but now three years in with Drew where...
I mean, I've never cheated on him, honestly. Like, I have cheated in every past relationship. Even... I even called cheating when I would fucking text my boyfriend's friends and be like, I want to fuck you when I'm done with this relationship, even though I didn't, you know? Same girl. But this, with Drew, I've never had to actually hide anything. Like...
Even though I said there's a few times, like with the second time I fucked the gummy bear boys, the two guys, and I fucked them on the hotel rooftop. And then I went back to sleep with Drew that night. Like he knew I was meeting with them. If I told him, hey, we fucked, like he wouldn't, he'd be like,
I don't know what he would respond like, but I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. I just didn't want to tell him. Right, right. But it wasn't cheating because it's an arrangement we have. Right. If I said, hey, I'm going with these two guys to go fuck tonight, he would let me. Right. And also, when I would cheat before, I was already done with the relationship. Like, I would be done with the relationship. Preach. And I was like, I am so not sexually attracted. I need to go fuck this guy off seeking arrangements. I need to go fuck this other dude. I need to have like eight men in my DMs.
And then I would end the relationship right after that. That's the thing. With Drew, I fuck other people and it literally always drives me back to him. Right. Yeah. That's the thing is all of the cheating I've done, the relationship was done. It was unsalvageable. It wasn't like I cheated and was still super in love and super connected with the person. The moment I cheated, I would go back and be like, all right, I need to be out of this relationship. Exactly. Yeah.
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So basically, your relationship with Drew, your boyfriend, you're in an open relationship and he supports like...
80 to 90% of the shit you do. But there are things here and there that you will omit and not tell him. So that's like the end of the story was he went on this whole manic episode and we were broken up and I fell in like with someone else. Like I really liked this other person. And so he, then after he gets through his whole manic episode, gets out of the psych unit, is stable again and absolutely regretting everything he did for the past five months. Just distraught, homeless, no way to make money. Like,
It was just so sad. And he's such a good guy. He was like begging just to have a place to live even. And I was still sending him money. So I was like, all right, you can come back. Cause he thrives in my world. He's extremely valuable to me and he makes my life better. And so, and I could just never see him be homeless. Like I honestly, even if I fucking go marry Alex Adams and have his babies, I will pay for Drew to have an apartment. Like I love this man. Yeah.
So anyway, I bring him back. You're an amazing woman. I was like, you can come back. I will feed you. I will pay for, like, I'll put a roof over your head. You will work for me and film videos with me again. But we are not, like, exclusive. We're not back together. And...
I like someone else. And I fully told him I like Alex Adams. I want to be in a relationship with him in the future, even though I don't live near him right now. And so he came back knowing all that and agreeing to that. And so that is how I wound up in this situation where I wanted to help out this man I love so much, but I also like this other man and they both provide different things for me. Right. And,
Drew can leave anytime that he wants, but he flourishes in the environment I've provided for him, but it never came with a promise that I will be there only for him. Because he had that chance for two, two and a half years, and he blew it three times. And now he knows, like, he knows he's not a stable person. He knows he can't have a cookie cutter stable relationship. It doesn't even work for him.
So what we have created is this just place where he's stable and has a home always and a job no matter what, no matter who he fucks, no matter who I fuck. And we just talk about it and we're just best friends. Right. And we also have good sex. I mean, that makes sense. But I'm at a crossroads too because like,
What if I do want to have kids someday? I want to have Drew's babies, of course, because I think he's amazing and beautiful. But also Alex's. Yeah, but I also want to have Alex's. And also Drew kind of doesn't want to have kids because he really is likely to pass bipolar to his children because it runs in his family. Okay. And schizophrenia does. And so he doesn't know if he wants to have kids. And so I really want to have Alex's babies. And maybe I'll meet a few other men I want to have their babies. Right. So when I think about this, I get anxiety because I'm like, what am I going to fucking do? Is Drew just going to live in the pool house
because I want to give my all to Drew, but I also want to give my all to Alex. Yeah. So then I'm just not making a decision. You know what? I don't think you need to make a decision right now. Yeah, please. Will you give me a therapy session right now? Yeah, I actually will. What's your advice for me? Even though I'm literally kind of in the same boat and I'm like, my ex, who I just recently broke up with, Mm-hmm.
I would feel good about having babies with him. This new guy I'm seeing and any guy after that, I might not feel as comfortable. But that's a really interesting thing you brought up is mental illness, right? In the family. Yeah. And deciding if you want to have a kid with that person. That's a
crazy topic and thing to think about. Cause like when you love someone so much, or at least someone who like me, who's so maternal, like I've always known I want to have kids. And of course we grow up when we're younger thinking like, Oh, someday like I'll meet one person and we'll have one house and we'll raise our kids in this one house. Right. And now that I'm growing up, I'm realizing like love is so much more complicated than that. And relationships are so much more complicated, especially when you're not with this ideal prototype. And yeah,
I love Drew so much and I just because of that I want to have his babies and I want to like look at my babies and be like your beautiful like father is in you. Right. But there's a little bit of a worry because of his mental history. Because bipolar while beautiful and like
and with schizophrenia and suicide really running heavy in his family, he just doesn't want, and so many people don't want to pass that suffering on to their child because it is true suffering and there's no real way to control it. You're born with this brain that it's how your brain functions. Like every year on a dog,
once a year. He goes so manic and destroys his entire life. And it goes fully schizophrenic. Same day every year. Same month every year. Around September, October. It's literally like he has crazy bipolar where it's not just up and down all the time. It's like really big peaks where he goes fully schizophrenic and then really big depressions where he goes fully suicidal. Hmm.
- Wow. - Yeah, and can't like move. - And you can tell, like you can measure it almost. - Oh God. I mean now three years in, like I know when it's gonna happen. One, because it happens every, September's when his mom died. So it always happens around there.
But now it's just because it takes so long to slowly build. So I start noticing being more aggressive and more aggressive and now being so many, so many manic episodes into our relationship. You know the signs. I've seen it. You know. Yeah. In the beginning and the first two times I didn't really know what was happening and
and I really thought like he was just going insane. And now it's really scary, by the way. It's terrifying. Oh my God. The amount of times I have never been as angry or frustrated or sad or literally the type of crying, you know, where you are just wailing. Yes. You cannot like, I've never had that in my entire life until him. It has been the most painful thing of my whole life. And I just imagine as a child, because you can't protect them from that. Like,
you don't want to see your child drugged up right and the zombie right you also don't want to see them destroying their whole like literal you either end a manic episode in a psych unit in jail or dead wow and I just couldn't handle that with my kid it's so sad so do I want to bring a kid into the world and hope that maybe with circumstance and certain type of love they won't have that kind of
beautiful curse put on them because I don't want to see that happen to my child. Right. Or do I just not have kids with him at all, you know? Or maybe like, you know, he's a fun uncle. I mean, it's such a crazy concept because...
I mean, back in the day, whatever, it's like if you fall in love with someone, you have a baby. But it's not that simple. You have to look at every aspect of it. You know what's funny is I actually, with my ex in particular...
I was insecure that maybe he wouldn't want to have kids with me just because I have a history of mental illness. You know? Yeah. It's a thing that people think about. Yeah, you really like want to take into account. And with Drew, obviously, it's so big. Bipolar is so big. But even when it's small things, you want to take into account their whole family. Right. How the health of your child will be. Honestly, I think if you love somebody, it doesn't matter if they're dying like,
or if cancer runs in their family, like have a baby with them. I agree. Struggle is the point of life. But also when with bipolar or schizophrenia, it's... It's something to think about. It is. Could you potentially bring someone into the world that is truly going to suffer deeply, deeply suffer? Right. And I don't know if I want to do that. On top of that, he doesn't know if, you know, bipolar is an unstable, like it's an instability. So I...
I would have to be the stability for the child and he wouldn't fully be able to be a father that is... He knows that, you know? Because raising a child will push you beyond your greatest limits. Yes. And so you need to be with somebody who's a real partner. Right. So Drew might be a partner or like somebody that I... He's kind of like my kid. Like I put him in environments that are good for him. And it works right now. And it works like that. Yeah. But he's not necessarily like someone like Alex Adams, who I know is...
really stable. So, you know, maybe I'll have a baby daddy and a few other men. Maybe. Yeah. And I think that's completely fine. It's weird when you grow up and you have to start thinking about this in relationships. You're like, wow, I actually make enough money and I'm at the stage in my life where I could have a baby. And like, who do I want to have it with? I love how you say when you grow up and you're 25. I know. Bitch, I need you to take that one right back.
- No. - 'Cause I'm about to turn 30 and I am not a grown up, but-- - But you know what I mean? Like you start realizing like, okay, I have to look at these relationships like wait, at some point they're gonna want a baby with me and like, who do I pick? - Right. - And why do I just have to pick one? Like who says? And then you're like, but wait, if I pick two, whose house do I live in? - Right, right.
So there's so many things, but you're 25. You're chilling. Yeah. Because I honestly don't want to have kids till I'm like 35. I've always known that because are you going to freeze your eggs or what? No, I'm just going to, I'm just going to hope I'm fertile. You're just going to let a guy come in you 10 times a day when you're 35. Literally. Yeah.
Yep. We'll see. I'm going to probably start at 32. Maybe I'll have kids. Me too. The moment I have a child, it's going to take over my whole life. I won't be able to focus on work the same. I know that when I become a mom, I want that to be what I do. Mm-hmm. Whether or not I still work, which I'm sure I will. Mm-hmm.
But I was so blessed with my mom. She retired from being a doctor when I was born and was just my mom. And like, what a luxury that is. Right. And I really want that same luxury. I do too. And it probably will be on my own dime since I date jobless broke men. Yeah.
But I'm happy with that. Broke dick is the best dick. I want to be able right now to focus on building something for myself that then allows me to just be a mom when I am a mom. I totally feel that. Thank you for being so honest and open. No, for real. Honest and open about that. I don't think people really talk about that. Yeah.
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you had an abortion when you were 18 and you were very, you're, you have been very open about it, right? Well, yeah, I shared my essay with it. I've literally never talked about it other than sharing my essay a couple of times that I wrote about it when I was 18. It was for my creative writing class in college. And I,
I spent two whole semesters writing this. My professor really liked it. And he was like, you can just work just on this. Like I would do all the little writing exercises in class, but I could focus on my one big writing project through for a whole year of school. And he wanted me to publish it, but I just, you were scared when, when,
He wanted it to have meaning. You know, he was like, this could really help a lot of girls. Like this could have a lot of meaning. And for me, I was writing about it because it was cathartic. And personal to you. Yeah, it was to process what I was going through and these emotions I couldn't make sense of. And because it was such a huge moment in my life. And so when I tried to then, instead of just documenting my feelings and I tried to put actual meaning to it or worry about how people might perceive it or if they might be scared of an abortion or not get one, which I am such a proponent of abortion if you want one. Of course.
Then I was just so worried. I couldn't figure out what to write. I was totally stuck. Because I'm sure it was really, really hard for you. But then you're trying to present this essay that's like empowering to women to get an abortion. I was trying to give meaning to this experience. I didn't even know what it meant to me. So I was like, yeah, you should get an abortion if you want one. But also like, I don't know what the fuck I feel right now. Yeah. Yeah.
So I've shared that. So I hadn't changed that or even looked at it since I was like 19. And then I just decided about a year ago to someone asked if I'd ever had an abortion. So I just started reading it. And so many people related to it and had the same experience as me. And I was like, OK, now I think I'm in a place in my life where I know years later the meaning it had for me and what I gather from it. Yeah. Which is?
So I now have realized that I think it was such a confusing, life-changing experience for me, mainly because it was the first time I ever felt my maternal instinct. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I didn't realize it at the time, but I immediately knew that I was going to have an abortion. Like I tested, I tested,
positive on a little stick that I beat on because I was sick as fuck in a cab. And I was like, I've never felt this before. And somehow I just felt like I had pregnancy tests in my apartment that I'd never used. And I just pulled it out, tested positive. 10 minutes later, booked an appointment at Planned Parenthood for 8 a.m. the next morning. Wow. And went and never even questioned it.
and went alone and didn't tell anyone because I just wanted it to be done before I told anyone. So your maternal instinct kicked in. I really think why I was so sure that it was the right thing and then also how my life changed after the fact, like how I stopped shopping. I stopped caring about how other people perceived me. I became super focused in my life. I got really in shape. I...
My grades became really, really good. Like, I think I kind of realized what kind of woman I want to be when I have kids and how I wasn't her at that point. So how I wanted to change. And I also knew like, this is not the environment I want to bring my child into. Like, I know I'm not ready to have a kid. I know this isn't the environment that would make my kid most successful. I know when I do want to have kids and it's not like this.
and that was the first time I really had that feeling, and it was life-changing. I literally focused. The months after that and the years after that abortion, I became so focused in my life. Do you think any of it stemmed from regret just because society puts that pressure on us so much? Not at all. I literally never once had regret, and that's why I think it was the first time I felt my maternal instinct because I'm so sure of it that it was the right decision. I absolutely know that my kids that I have when I'm in my 30s will be better off for it.
Right. Yeah. And same like if my mom hadn't had two abortions before she had me, I wouldn't have had the life that I had. Okay. Yeah. Like she had abortion at 17 and 19. Was she open about that? Yeah. Like your whole life? She told me she had an abortion before, but after I had one, she told me I actually had two. Okay. We just never talked about it. So she had told you and then you had one. Yeah. Later. See, I had this really...
kind of crazy interesting conversation four or five days ago because my mom was just in town and I was talking about like my breakup da da da and we were talking about me being pregnant because I have a pregnancy scare every single day yeah like my tits feel tender I'm pregnant pregnant I've here like everything I'm pregnant right and my mom who's like very progressive she
She said, you know what, Sophia, I think at your age, that would not be the right choice. And you shouldn't get an abortion. If right at this stage in your life, at 29, of course, I turned around. I was like, excuse me? To become fit to be a mother? What the?
The fuck just came out of your mouth? But it's really weird because my whole life, my mom's like been like, yeah, if you think you need to, but now at this age, her throwing that on me, I was, I was a little bit and, and my mom had me at 20. So she absolutely had that thought. Right. And, and it was with,
you know, a random guy that like she got pregnant with, not completely random, like they dated, but like she wasn't married or anything. And so an abortion would have been like an obvious choice. Yeah. And she didn't do it. Yeah. And for her to tell me that, and I'm so pro-choice. Yeah.
Now I have this weird feeling like, oh, my mom decided to have me. And now she's telling me in the kitchen while I'm washing dishes, like at your age, you shouldn't be doing it. Yeah. And it's hard not to listen to her. Right. And I'm so pro choice. But now like my brain's all fucked up. I'm like, now I'm questioning it. I think when you get pregnant.
whether it's an accident or not, but I think you will know deep down. You'll know, I want to go get an abortion, but maybe my mom won't think it's good and maybe I'm scared of whatever, but I kind of want to versus I want to fucking have this kid. I'm so excited to have this child. And that's how it should be when you have a kid. And I think that is a maternal instinct. Women have been...
ending their lives and risking their lives to end a pregnancy for the history of time. Like women know when they don't want to have a child or when the environment isn't right to have a kid because the child inherits the mother's life. It inherits the mom's social rank. It comes into its mother's life and the mother prepares it for its whole life and, and make sure it has the conditions necessary for us to succeed.
Right. And so if you know your child is coming into an environment that is successful or like going to make them successful, you will be excited about it. Right. You know, like you'll know. And I think that's part of the maternal instinct. And if you if you know that they aren't coming in at the right time or with the right father or if you're prepared, right.
then that's also your maternal instinct telling you, hey, wait, you have thousands of eggs in your body, but your body can only bear about 10 children. So obviously you get to pick which ones you have, you know? Yeah, I think people have a really hard time thinking about it that way because religion or whatever else has been so ingrained. I mean, my mom grew up LDS, which is Mormon, and you cannot do that. Yeah.
So I think that's like kind of creeped in when she's talking to me. But because it's like, oh, you're at the age where you can have a kid. But are you at the mental state you want with the right man you want? And in an environment where we already are so overpopulated in the world now more than ever, you need to listen to your maternal instinct that tells you when are the conditions right to have your child? Like, when do you feel right?
Some women feel that they can do it with no money, a guy that's not present, and they know they can do it. And if they feel they can, then they can. But if you have a husband that supports you and all the money you need and you're at the right age to have a kid, but you still don't feel like you're ready, then listen to that. Then listen to that. And then there's women who...
that they're not ready and they don't have the dad present, which by the way, single parents are amazing whenever, but they know it's not right and they go through with it because of all of this like outside societal bullshit. At the end of the day, like it's crazy to me that still religion and like,
politics and all these outside forces yeah that are so far removed from the maternal instinct like we as a society as human beings have come or even all animals in nature exist because of the maternal instinct to protect their children and like i even in my essay bring up a
to like to lion moms and like lion mothers keep their babies separate from the pride fully hidden for weeks, maybe even two months before when they know the conditions are right for their child and like their kids are strong enough to
be safe among other lions. And like maybe lion mothers do it after the babies are born, but maybe moms do that before, like human moms can do that before the baby is born. Like they can be like, select the conditions where their child is safest to exist in. And religion and politics are not taking any of that into account. Yeah. And like, how can we not listen to the maternal instinct, which is literally the reason we're all here. Like mothers keep...
keeping their babies safe and having their babies in certain environments and bringing their babies to certain areas only when they know it's safe. Like that is why we are all existing here today and why society, it's how society is shaped by the way mothers raise their children. But they don't care. So how, like at a time where we have literally nothing to rely on, like where technology is and society is changing faster than we can even keep up with, the one thing that we should be
allowing to give us some direction on what, where we're going is like the maternal instinct, which has been forged over fucking hundreds of thousands of years in women to make good babies. And so if the maternal instinct is telling you, Hey, this is not the right time to have a kid, then how can we say no bitch? It fucking is. And that's why women literally, if they, the maternal drive is so strong that you will kill yourself or heart. Like,
risk your entire existence to end a pregnancy. It's fucking crazy that the conversation is even still up for debate, pro-life or pro-choice. It's absolutely insane. And it makes me so sad. It makes me really sad too. Because like I was lucky enough to fucking have money stashed under my bed
for a rainy day right to go pay for an abortion and not tell anybody about it and I was lucky enough that my parents wouldn't disown me if I told them and it's so sad I was so fearful and on top of that I was so sick from the hormones so sick the hormones like literally yeah like literally the first day I got sick I was almost five weeks pregnant and I was so sick I was literally throwing up like so you got sick five weeks in yeah me literally wondering if I might be pregnant right
now I'm not kidding. I was so ill. Like I honestly knew I was pregnant and I had never felt that feeling before. I was like this is fucking crazy. I'm taking a pregnancy test when I get home. Yeah you should. I should. But no I feel like with you I don't even though your mom said that like you shouldn't put pressure on yourself. No. Because of it. Are you kidding me?
Literally. Because if you accidentally get pregnant... No, I swear to God. Right? I'm not trying to be insensitive, but, like, it's gone. Because, honestly, like, mine was so small they couldn't even see it on the ultrasound. Like, they just had to suction around a bit and just hope they got it. And then I had to come back, like, a week later. And they had to do a blood test to see if I was still pregnant and if they had to do it again. Because they literally couldn't see a thing. So, it's like... Right. It's your fucking cells. No, no. It's your body. I know. Just listen to your instincts. My mom can say whatever she wants. Like, at the end of the day, I am...
in no way, shape or form ready to have a kid. Yeah. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home Yes, cool! or attending one live...
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So, Stella, we are like running out of time, per usual. Ending on a nice note. No, we could talk for seven hours. Let's end on like a lesson time. I'm going to lose my crying. The struggle of females. Let's leave the people at home with a little, you know. Yeah. Shaving your pussy. And your anus. And there we go. That's a transition, guys. Your vagina. So, I saw...
um a tiktok do you even shave your vagina yes sometimes no i do i do pants down let's see like i don't remember literally right now i have which is my my go-to i have a landing strip like it's kind of a triangle so it's like a baby bush you know i shaved all the outside of my bush and it's just a little are the hairs long this is a funny part so normally i'd say they're about like
You know, an inch or less. Right now, it's probably like two inches. It's like this baby bush that's like really long hairs because I haven't cut it. I need to chop it with some scissors. So...
Clean it up. Trim it up. Right? But I totally shave. Yeah, I do. Okay. I've been lasered a few times, like probably five times since I was 17. Okay, so I wanted to ask about that. Because I've had like my bikini line lasered, but I've let like the hair right on my pussy. I've let it just not be lasered and be what it is. And the reason being is like,
I'm worried that the 70s are going to have a comeback. Of course. And like the Bush is going to be back in. The Bush is back, baby. And then I don't want to be fucked. You know, I want to have options.
Options. Keep your options open. You know what I mean? So I've been lasered, like, I've had full Brazilian lasers, like, my butthole, everything. Mm-hmm. Like, well, not really on my butthole because I don't grow hair there. Yeah. But around it. Okay. And I still grow, like, a lot of hair. It's just a little bit thinner. Mm-hmm.
Because I've done it probably every year. Right. So it's just so spread out and it grows back, which I like a lot because it's a lot easier to shave. So a lot of girls messaged me and say, how do you get such a clean line? Because I remember being 13 and shaving to go in my bikinis. And I was like, how do models do this? Like mine looks terrible. Like I have red bumps. And I'll just say like growing up somehow as a woman, you just get better at it.
I don't really know why, but your body just impregnates that you shave and you don't get like red bumps as much anymore. But if you get it lasered, the hair is not as thick. It's like thinner and easier to shave. So I've lasered it just a couple times and just to make it thinner and softer. Mm-hmm.
And then I still shave like on the sides of my bush and I still shave around my pussy lips and like sometimes occasionally by my butthole when the hairs get long. When they get there, when they get there. When they get a little long. Yeah. So, but you kind of rock everything.
The bush. The bush. Is there a reason for that? Well, I've always kept a little landing strip because I personally think it looks cuter. Like when I'm naked, it adds something down there and it's kind of like an arrow pointing to your pussy. I like that. A little character. Yeah. A little hat. And I also think that hair makes it...
And a bush, which is why I think the bush is coming back, it makes it naughtier. It's like, it makes, and every man fucking, they say they don't want a bush, but then you have one, and the, the,
gets like a billion more likes or the man just like nuts faster. Yeah. Bible. Oh, no. Every time I have a bush, like I'll do a poll and on my Twitter and the majority will say no bush. I post a picture with a bush versus without one. I get way more likes on the bush picture. Wow. And it's because like you have to show men what they want. It's deep in their psyche and they need to see it. They're so big. They won't say I want to fuck a nasty bitch, but they want to fuck a nasty bitch. One thousand percent. And that's unrelated to hair. But
is the same thing in that like they see a pussy with hair on it and it doesn't look as clean or as feminine, you know? And that is hotter. Okay. So that is why I love a bush. I literally love it. It's just more natural and...
I'm going to do a bush. Not a full bush, but a little triangle cute one. I think I'm going to start with that. I'll send you reference images of mine because I've been told I have a great one. The way to do it, because a lot of girls will do a little mini bush like how I do, but they'll do it too low where the hair is going into their pussy lips.
So the way I do it is I shave. I don't shave the top of my bush. So I keep the top and then I shave the side. Oh, and then you go on the sides. Yeah. And so and then I leave like a little gap before like my pussy starts of baldness, you know? Right. So it's high up. So when it's higher up, it literally looks so flattering when you're taking a nude or anything. It's so cute. And it's also like nice and soft there. So it's not all just like raw and and like prickly. You have soft hair. See that.
I only have the bikini laser. So the hair that grows in that's not bikini line is like every time I shave it, there's like bumps, whatever. Yeah, and that's not hot. Like it's not hot to rub your pussy and feel prickles. No. That's also why like when I shave, especially around my pussy lips down there where I shave, it's like,
It's not prickly. So when he's eating me out, it's not like since the hair is just thinner from lasering, it's softer down there. Because if I shaved and hadn't done that, it would be prickly on his face and stuff. It's just not hot. So the answer is get lasered. And even if you get lasered, you can still do a bush. It just won't be as...
Georgia the jungle bush. It'll be like a little lighter. If I was more, if I was better at like keeping appointments, I would have been to enough laser appointments that I don't have any hair around like my pussy lips or my butthole or anything. And I never have to shave down there. And then I would have laser on my, like what would show outside of a bikini. Right. And then I would,
Like as I have now, I would keep my bush as I have now. So I'd lasered it probably five times once a year. So it's thinner, but it's still there. I just can't believe that those pics with the bush and those videos get more. Bush is back. And you know how I figured that out? I always had the little landing strip with Alex Adams. And he was eventually like, you know, I was like, should I grow my bush out? Like, do you like it? He was like, yeah, I fucking love bushes. And I want you to grow your bush out way more. And I did just as an experiment. And everybody loved it. And also...
I really felt so hot and cute. Like, I really liked my bush. I might grow it back again. I don't know what it does, but it makes your pussy look so cute. Okay, I'm growing mine out. No, it's really, I swear. I'm growing mine out officially. And it makes you look kinky as fuck because it's not like it's, you don't have to have it like just all over the place. And a huge bush. No men really say they want like a massive bush. But like even Riley Reno's one. I mean, they say they don't want hair at all.
Yeah, exactly. But then if you show up with like a manicured little bush, it shows that you're not out here like, oh my God, I shaved my pussy for you, babe. It's like I did what I wanted to my pussy to make it look cute. And it's still kinky and like you'll not like extra hard in it because you're looking down and like realizing this isn't like
a perfect ideal pussy. It's like a real pussy. It's real. And men like to stick in dirty holes. They just do. They do. They like to stick it in things that are not perfectly clean. 1000%. Even if they preach, they do. They really don't. They don't. And that's, and literally it came from Alex Adams who literally fucks girls four times a week. May is the number one most viewed male on Facebook.
and it's all videos of just his dick and women. And he makes women look so beautiful. And he gets crazy, like millions and millions of views. He has probably 100 billion views or something on Pornhub. Okay, so Alex needs to come on. Yeah, he really does. But he has like so much market research on what men like to watch. And they fucking love videos with a bush. Like they love natural girl next door girls. Yes.
I'm fucking growing mine out. And Stella, I love you so fucking much. That was so fun. We covered...
I know with no game plan. Literally. With no, I have like a couple things jotted down. I think we touched on one of them. I love you so fucking much. Thank you for coming on. You'll be back on in two weeks. Yeah. And where can they find you Stella? Cause you get taken off all social media every day. So the main part, if you want to pay for me to continue my life is OnlyFans slash Stella Berry, B-A-R-E-Y. And then,
Twitter is Barry Baby, B-A-R-E-Y-B-A-B-Y. Love. And then TikTok, it's always changing. Oh, Instagram. Anal Princess. Love. The L is a one and the E is a three. Love.
And then on TikTok, it's always changing. So I won't even plug my TikTok. So we don't even know. Yeah, if it's meant to be, if I'm meant to be in your life, I will appear on your For You page. 100%. And you will follow me and you will support me. I like that. The universe will bring Stella to you. Yeah. I totally, I love that. Stella, I love you. And as always, you guys know where to find me. So if you have an F,
franklin with a y if it's on tiktok you add the number zero to it and that's it for this week
