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Hello everybody, welcome to Sophia with an F. I am recording from WTF Media Studios per usual, the only place to fucking record from. Horny, wet, I love it. I get so fucking hype on this couch. I am joined by two very, very special people to me.
One of them is Alex. You guys all know Alex. Hi, Alex. Hi, Sophia. The other one is Kiana, who has never been on an episode but has been behind every single episode. Surprise, bitches. Kiana, I'm going to introduce you in a second because you deserve like a whole introduction because this show has been going on for years. Alex.
Thank you for coming to New York and seeing me. Yes. The reason she's here is because I believe it was midnight one night and I had a full mental breakdown. This isn't, this is not a joke. Full mental breakdown. And I texted you and I said, can you come to New York right now? Yeah. And it was like one 45, like my time. I was like, there's no way I'm about to make this 2am flight that you're trying to make me get on.
If you would have left the house at that time, you would have made the flight. It's just you wouldn't have had a bag. Yeah. But I didn't want to, to be honest. You didn't want to what? Come? At 2 a.m. I was tired. Okay, whatever. But Alex, this is your first time in New York ever. How do you feel about it? Because Alex is...
Her perception of New York is unlike any I've ever heard. Ever. Okay. Well, first off, back in Utah, I was scared of New York because the only things I've heard about it was you cannot see the sun ever. Okay.
And I got here and that was kind of true. Like, I had a rubber neck just to see what the fuck was going on. And if I could, I want to part the city like the Red Sea because I just can't see anything. I can't see. Because the buildings are so tall. I just don't understand the proximity and distance of things. You know, like...
In Utah, you can see. And you know how far distance is. But here, you don't. Yes. I think also, you guys talk about Utah like it's a normal place. Everywhere else in the world, Utah is the most far off, middle of fucking nowhere place in general. Besides Salt Lake City, which is kind of where you guys are from. The landscape of Utah is more of the norm than New York. So when Alex asked me, she's like,
Do they have trees there? Is there grass there? I kind of understand what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, my major problem that people kept telling me is that people walk fast.
And they walk fucking fast. Okay? And I walk very slow. So I thought I was going to get squashed like a bug. But, you know, walking around, honestly, I could keep up. Alex texted me, like, what is it? Two or three days ago, one of your first nights here. And she was like, I need weed, blah, blah, blah. Are there dispensaries? And I was just like...
just go outside like that's what i said go outside she's like no what do you mean i'm like literally just go outside that's what i said and ask someone and they're like that's the cool thing about new york though like anything you need literally anything a body a kidney lead molly and 42nd street molly we'll tell that story but you can just get it you know like as aggressive and fast as like people of new york are it's like
They can also just point you in the direction of anything you need. Kiana, you're going off about New York because you're from here and we haven't even given you an introduction. I don't really know how to intro you because it's so wild how this even came to be. Kiana is...
Milf Hunter's ex-girlfriend. Milf Hunter slash ghostwriter. Slash thank you so much. And we met kind of through him in this really weird, fucked up way that I would like you to elaborate on. So listen to this shit. Basically, this was like quarantine, like peak COVID. Mm-hmm.
And it was when all of that shit was going down. If you listen to the show or under a rock, you know what that thing is. And I was Reddit dwelling, actually just doing a good little Reddit scroll. And I see a post from fucking John. John, like the Bible fucking savior, my brother in Christ. And I see a post from him.
And I just reached out. I think I messaged him. Maybe I found his Instagram. Maybe I messaged him on Reddit from like my burner Reddit account, which is hilarious. And I was just straight up on some like...
Is she okay? Yeah. You felt bad. You thought it was happening. And I knew obviously all the behind the scenes because of the relationship I was in, like from the beginning to where we are now. So I had a real inside look at it. I knew what was really going on. So I reached out and I also had a friend who went through a very public like defamation type thing as well. Name drop. It's getting far.
I won't have to do that. So I kind of just know what it's like to go through something like that and be there for someone and like how important that support system has to be. Long story fucking short, he connected me with Sophia and for some reason through her Zero Dark Thirty period that she was on, we actually became friends. I think it was a combination of a couple things. I think because of
the relationship I was in and I really knew it was going on. I think you kind of like had some sort of trust there already. Well, yeah, because I saw she who shall not be named fuck over Milf Hunter. And I was there with him through that. And you were dating him at the time. So I was like, oh, if anyone gets it, like, I really know. And let me just point out,
Milf Hunter, ghost writer, would not talk to me during this period. Right, right. So I remember like the exact day like you called. You called him and like said what was going on. And yeah, he wouldn't speak to you. And I remember being there. I remember literally saying to him, I was like, you should talk to her. Yeah. Because she was never the villain here. Like you never, you don't even know this girl, which is fucking crazy. Anyway, you and I connected and me and Sophia had this secret love affair. Yeah.
Right. Where we wouldn't let your boyfriend know. I was still in this full on relationship. Like we literally lived together. And I would like, you know, when you're cheating on your boyfriend and you have a fucking different name saved for the guy you're talking to. Yes, I'm aware of how that works.
- That's what I was doing with Sophia. I had like notifications off. Like I might've had her on my phone as fucking like Steven Franklin with like an eye though, like some nut shit. And like, that's genuinely how our relationship built. And I remember the relationship took a turn
for the better one night um him and i got into like a very serious fight yes and whatever he stormed out he left whatever and for some reason in this fucked up traumatic state the first person i felt inclined to call was this bitch so yeah i've never met in
Never met. And I was just like, who's going to understand what just happened? Called her and she picked up. I know. Really picked up. Keep in mind, this is like in the midst of like all that shit going on. And I was like, oh, this is like a real ass bitch. Can I ask you out of all of your friends, out of all the people you're like, Sophia Franklin. Like why? Yeah, I could tell you right now. She is not the first person I would call. Yeah, no. Like now, last person I would call. I give real.
I give really good advice. You're also my emergency contact for like multiple things, which is fucking terrible. You're on it too, Alex. Oh, good, good. I trust you more to pick up. For sure. You're just there just because like, I don't know. You just should be. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to spend that much time talking about all of that shit, but I think it's important to point out because I trusted no one. Literally.
Literally at that time, not even your mom. And the fact that I decided that I would speak to you openly is bizarre. And we were really we were we were manipulative and shady from the fuck because I was trying to get Milf Hunter, your boyfriend, to kind of help me out. Absolutely. And behind the scenes, you'd be like, you know what? I'll talk to him and I'll say this.
this and blah, blah, blah. I think that's why we bonded like aside from being like, okay, yeah, we can work together and everybody was like, oh, like I actually fuck with this bitch because it's like, oh, you're just as fucked as I am. So long story short, I end up flying Kiana and MILF Hunter to my home in Draper, Utah and you have been part of Sovia the Neff
Since then. Since day one. Since the inception of it, which is really, really crazy. You've been here longer than Alex has, actually. I remember meeting Alex. I don't know what episode it was, but it had to be within like the first 20, right? Maybe. Do you remember your first episode? Yeah, it was the 1-800 slew. Oh, God. Oh, the worst episode to ever come out of Sophia the
I still think it's a good idea and could be tried again. Maybe Sloots let us know. I think if we're in the better headspace, we could do it. Anyway, I remember you being like, you know, I have this cousin because we were kind of missing a link on the team and Delaney was not existent at this point. And you were like, I have this cousin. She fits the vibe. She could help even if it's on some assistant shit. That's kind of what it was at the time where you could fit in and became who everyone now knows and loves. And you were recording with
The way that we just, it's like some Voldemort shit. Like why? Why? Yes. How much time do we have? Anyway, me and Alex had kicked out the room while they were recording and we just like bonded from the jump.
Really? Because I remember it differently. You guys bonded from the jump? For sure. Okay. I mean, like, was she the nicest person ever? No, but I'm probably not either. Still true. So, like, it was just kind of like it worked. The only downside to that is that I thought your name was Kiara for
probably three days. Which I think is funny to tell because I think that goes into this team joke that we have because you called me Kiara for so long. We also came up with names for everyone like Delaney. We called Delaney Delancy. Which is like very disrespectful if you think about it when it's an initiation thing. She's the nice one out of the team. Let's just say that. Oh, yeah. For sure. God bless her. She got the most stable. 100%. And Kiana, I'm like very...
like taken aback how well you are on the mic. And I would like to point that out because I wanted to get Kiana's dad here as a guest, but I had to fucking take Kiana. Unfortunately, he's far more down.
Bobby Condor's legend. Tell them about your dad. Bob, my dad. I mean, like, yeah, he's my dad. But long story short. He's famous. He has a blue checkmark. He's a way bigger deal than Kiana. Way bigger. I actually just cracked 8,000 followers. Pretty big fucking deal. Okay. Anyway, yeah, he owns a record label. He's a producer. He's probably made some songs you know, may or may not know. Some songs like Hardy B.
I know that because I was the dream drop. He's a DJ, stuff like that. But he's also white, which is funny. Yes. Which is the funny part, being like a hip hop reggae type kind of guy. That is. But as far as your comment about being on the mic, I think it's because I literally grew up in studios. I was at Hot 97, the radio station here in New York. Yeah. Since birth. He's been on it longer than I've been alive. Every house I've ever lived in had like a studio in the house. Right. I've seen my dad drop in like do a promo or an interview or something like that.
drop of a fly so i think maybe it's just kind of something like that i've also never been on the mic before it's actually funny is this the first time i mean besides my twitch streams oh my god i'll be starting soon just so everyone knows absolutely you have to i am i just got a pc just saying what is that where you play video games and people can watch you play them yeah basically more or less oh
- Oh my God. - It's out of your realm, it's a me and Alex thing. - Yeah, Alex and Kiana keep me young. - For sure. - That's one of the biggest parts of the dynamic here on the team is like, there are certain guests and just certain topics and things like that, that I would have no fucking idea about if it weren't for Alex and Kiana, which let's talk about the workflow dynamic of the team and Sleuth Media. - What workflow?
What do you mean? What fucking workflow? The way that we get an episode out, you know, it varies week to week and it's gotten a lot better. Oh, it's gotten a lot better. I think we should start maybe telling them where it was and how far we've come because, oh, brother. It was at a point where I would avoid the microphone until the very last second. And I knew it was the very last second because...
the company that I work for that do the ad sales for me were like, no, you're actually gonna be fucked if you don't put an episode out. - Well, I mean, when we started the show,
the first episode of Sophia with an F came out a month later than it was supposed to. Like when I tell you this girl, put it off, put it off. Like we were grabbing her by the ponytail to put her in front of a mic. And she was so mentally fucked. So bad that she will come up with every excuse. Sometimes you still do show spurts of this. I don't think it's because you're mentally fucked anymore. I think it's just because you're you, but like, she'd be like, no, I can't record here. Like she needs to record in a fucking bathtub, a closet. Yeah.
Like a trampoline outside. Like, oh, this will be better. Like making up like the most ridiculous instances so she could record or not record. And I would try to make you believe why hard. And I'm like, you can't bullshit a bullshit. Why do you think we became friends? I'm just like you. No, like...
Stop it. You're not winning this battle. No, but I love how you pointed out. We've obviously come a long way, but I still, there will still be weeks where it's a similar dynamic to when the show first started. Absolutely. And that's when me and Alex start talking shit in our own texts. That's when we take it out of the GM, the group message and talk to each other. I don't even want to know what the fuck you guys have said separately. We,
like we wouldn't have jobs i would never look through someone's phone ever because of that oh i look through your phone all the time that's besides the point no i mean like we don't like it's not we're talking shit about you but it's like those times you go missing for four hours and the episode has to be out in 24 minutes and the editor's texting us we don't have a minute of audio exactly hold on this is the thing guys because there's a method to the madness
The reason I do that is because if I know I have an extended period of time to perfect an episode, I will record a certain way. If I know it's my last chance, one opportunity to seize everything you've ever wanted in one moment, Eminem, then I fucking kill it. It feels like sometimes when we put an episode out, like we just won a Super Bowl.
And it's like fucked up because you're not curing cancer. You're podcasting. I know. Everyone podcasts now. I know. Everyone does, but podcasting isn't fucking easy. No. I'm not going to dive into all of that shit. Anyone that thinks that it is, like, yeah, I get it. You kind of just talk in front of a mic, but it is difficult. I'm laughing because we're talking about how hard it is. We were just in the elevator right outside like, so what are we about to talk about? Fuck.
Like how serious we take it. But the workflow between the three of us, really interesting. Me as the boss and the person that owns the company, it's become more structured. But really, at the end of the day, everyone does everything. Yeah, absolutely. No one has like a clear-cut role. Yeah, it's kind of just like get in where you fit in type thing, which I think kind of goes for working in entertainment as a whole. And I...
I always knew my whole life I would work in entertainment because that's kind of the only thing I've ever known. Yeah. That's really me. But as much shit as we talk and how much of a joke it is, it really is the best work environment. Yeah. Healthiest, not sure about that, but my life wasn't the healthiest with or without Sophia. She just added to it.
For sure. But it is like the best work environment. You know, these are my best friends. Like we all know what's going on in everyone's lives. Which creates, thank you so much. Actually, that means a lot. It creates an amazing work environment. Also very inappropriate. Can be very toxic. Oh yeah, like Better Business Bureau. Like shut this shit down. I mean, yeah, and it doesn't help that me and you were cousins to begin with. That just adds.
Oh, that's a whole different dynamic. We're crossing boundaries that should never be crossed in a work environment. And I think that's because of the dynamic, but also just the shit we talk about. Right. I'm HR. I'm also the boss. I'm all of the above. So you guys were HR. If you guys want to complain, you have to come to me.
And that's like coming to a brick wall, just so everyone knows. Yeah, I think if someone were to, like, an application to work at Salute Media, it wouldn't be your typical application. Like, we would try to lie and act like it is. Oh, sure. Past experience, you know, all the normal things on a job application. It should really be like, we should put them through some sort of, like, mental test.
because to work here in this environment with these people, which we are all insane in our own very different way, you could be a fucking plumber. It doesn't matter what your thing is. We will find something for you to do. It's more so, can you handle it? It takes a strong person. Right.
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Your cash back really adds up. Okay, so that's a little bit about the Sloot Media team. I want to move on and talk about some things that are not about us, even though we would love to talk about ourselves the entire fucking time. I want to talk about this fucking Johnny Depp, Amber Heard court case, the shit that is taking over the world and the internet. Yeah.
have I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion but I think people need to leave Amber Heard the fuck alone and I'm really sick and tired of all of the shit that I've been seeing about this case
I mean, I agree. My stance on it is, one, I think anyone that followed this trial like it was a fucking reality show is very weird. Yes. There are people every day, men, women, getting abused, dealing with instances of domestic violence in your backyard that you aren't giving the time of day to, like your friends that reach out to you that you don't check on. So to
watch some shit like it's a show is already very weird and dystopian to me. - Yes, like every single time I would open TikTok, it would be there live streaming every single time. - It's very odd and I didn't follow it, but what I will say is it's very evident that, and I don't support abusers in any capacity, but
Or the relationship was obviously very toxic on both ends. But my overall thing about it is a lot of people, specifically people with penises, are using it as not to support a domestic violence victim because they don't give a fuck about that.
Like be real, be real with yourself. You don't give a fuck. They're using it as an outlet to be super misogynistic and express their hatred towards women and tear her down. And yes, whatever the fuck she did or didn't do, that's not the point of what we're talking about because none of us were there. We don't really know. She clearly lost the case, whatever, but they're just using it as a chance to shit on women, shit on her. What she's going through is like,
wild to me. That's what I wanted to point out because I'm not coming on here. Team Amber Heard, oh my God, like she's innocent, like she's the victim in all of this. That is not what I'm saying.
I don't know every single detail about the case and I don't really need to know from what I've heard. You know, she pooped on his bed. He was texting someone saying he wanted to fuck her corpse after he burned her some shit. Uh-huh.
both people in this sound like they've done some fucked up shit to each other i think that's fair to say again i was not there and i've been in a completely different situation but similar in a sense where everyone felt like they knew the story and knew what happened behind the scenes no one knows what happened between amber and johnny except amber and johnny absolutely and you
You can't sit here and just say, you know, she was just this vile, evil human and Johnny Depp did nothing wrong. Yes. Yeah, and it's all bullshit anyway because...
every single day there's a new artist or athlete or actor whatever who gets outed for some domestic violence situation or sexual abuse or something we see it every fucking day and it's here today gone tomorrow you're still listening to their music you're still wearing their jersey exactly you don't give a fuck yeah exactly but the way she's being plastered is i've never seen i've never seen anything like it and that's why i just speak so clearly of like that their motive is just because she's a woman
I have never seen the news and the media and social media and the internet drag someone this fucking hard. And it was the most bizarre thing. It's like, how much do you love Pirates of the Caribbean? How much do you love Willy Wonka? Like you're that far up Johnny Depp's ass. They were not thinking about Johnny Depp before all this. I refuse to believe they were waking up being like, I'm going to put this movie on. No, but I think it's,
Johnny Depp kind of is this hero to people and this like beloved actor. And a lot of people don't want that to go away. Absolutely. Especially if it's because of a woman. People need to realize that their actions...
really affect people and ridiculing someone to this degree, people end their lives over this shit. Just like we were saying before. They do. And then what? Like, it's just, it's a funny, it's a tweet to you. It's a tick tock to you. It's all funny. And our shelf life for taking these things in is so minuscule. We just keep scrolling. I know. But like, she's really going through this shit. He's really going through this shit. I mean, he's $15 million richer.
But it's real. Like I said, it's very dystopian. I don't know. Get a fucking life. It is. Everyone needs to get a life. We're saying get a life. Here we are spending a good 10 minutes talking about it. The only reason I am is because of how bizarre this whole thing has been. People are treating this kid...
as if it is their family members going through this. Get a life. Johnny Depp does not care if you want to suck his dick and you support him. I promise you. He does not care about you. He cared about the people on the jury. He doesn't care about you behind your phone.
in Alabama, sitting on the couch, eating popcorn, like submerged in this and you grew up with values where you don't care about women and you believe men over women every single time. Exactly. Okay, let me get off my soapbox because I just went off. But also I would say that like this trial has, you know, been promoted or shown more than a lot of other issues that are going on in the world that, you know, in my opinion are more important and we can focus on.
I totally agree. Gas is $7 a gallon. Let's talk about that. We can talk about it, but I just, I think it's disgusting how people are treating Amber Heard. I haven't seen that many people come out in defense of her and standing up for her. And it's not even in defense of what went on. It's how bad they're dragging her. Leave her alone. Like she's gone through it.
But I digress and I would like to move on to a little something I like to call Sloot University. You guys know it just as well as I fucking do. And to be honest, you guys, this is going to be more of a philosophical approach to Sloot University. Okay? Okay, Socrates. Meaning we came completely unprepared, but we have an idea of what we want to talk about is what that means.
And the reason I want to have this university is particularly because Kiana, you're here. Because this is how you live your life to a T. It's how to live a happy life. And I know that sounds so broad and so generic, but there is a point. And the point is, is to live a very fulfilling, happy life.
You need to be delusional as fuck. It's 100% true. And Sophia knows, Alex knows, my life could be burning to the ground. Like there was a time that my ex literally stole my car for like a week. Oh, I remember that one. And they were asking me like, why are you not freaking the fuck out? Like, how are you just proceeding on with like business as usual? Because I will just live in delusion.
I trust the universe that it's going to figure itself out. I care about it's going to sound like on some fake deep podcaster shit. Well, this is not the podcast for that, honey. So I care about like my energy, probably in a selfish way where like you're not worth my time or energy for me to lose my shit. Losing your shit and freaking the fuck out doesn't solve anything. So I think the more calm you are, the more delusional you are. You just said being delusional is
Is good because what? Because it keeps you grounded to a degree. I get that. Being delusional keeps you grounded? Am I like living in the twilight zone? I can see that because she's saying like selfish. She said it was kind of selfish, which I agree. You know, to some extent, you do have to be selfish in this life. You have to put yourself first no matter what. And I know that sounds very...
contradicting because it's like how are you putting yourself first but like you're getting your car stolen so like what do you mean but it's more so like it's gonna figure itself out and if I have to take it to that point then it'll be a real problem and no one wants that yeah so it's like why like why give that
And to be happy, to choose that happiness every day, you have to just constantly live in a state of delusion almost to a degree. There's a spectrum to everything. I think like I was saying before, like if you get so wrapped up in your own emotions, you get really clouded. You can't like see what you're doing or you can't exist.
that can be a super negative thing because you're just fucking yourself. But then there are also people that are so wrapped up in themselves. They take that delusion to the umpteenth degree that it catapults them to their success. I don't necessarily agree with that because it's like you really live in your own world and you're probably doing terrible things, which we've all seen. Um,
But that's like a whole other spectrum to it. It's finding that medium, never too high, never too low. Exactly. Living in that delusion. So you need a little delusion to live your happiest life. Yeah. And I think reach a certain level of success as well. In one of my psychology classes, actually, now that we're on the topic, he was telling us how he knew one genius in his life. And he said, in order to be a genius, you have to be a psychopath. Yeah.
Like actually like I completely agree. Like which is true. And when I say psychopath, I don't mean like the pop culture term psychopath. You know, I'm talking about the DSM diagnosable criterias that go along with, you know, that certain thing. Mm hmm.
Absolutely. I mean, we look at someone like the biggest artist in the world, look at like a Kanye, someone who's labeled as a genius. You can't take any of that away from him. But if you think he's quote unquote normal by any standpoint, like you're not, you're out of your mind. And I,
probably also says a lot about me. I surround myself with those kind of people and it's like all I've ever known also because of how I grew up. Our geniuses. Let's not go that far. Careful. But like not normal people. Nothing about them is normal. Nothing about you is normal. And I think to reach a certain level
aspect in your life and I keep mentioning the word success but like monetary success and stuff like that none of those people are fucking normal yeah like they're not you have to be a level of delusion yeah and like live in your own reality that you kind of create that's kind of weird though to me Kiana is because I feel like I'm the opposite of delusional and I'm
self-aware to a degree that's like not even healthy for me. Well, you're so delusional that you think that. Exactly. Oh my God. Wait, is that true? Fuck yeah. You literally live in your own reality. This goes back to also the conversations that me and Alex have on the side. We'll text sometimes just question marks. Like, is she okay? In the least rude, but the most rude way, you live in your own world, oblivious to reality.
You're aware of your own reality. Like, you know, you're self-aware in certain aspects, but that is no one else's reality. Why? Because I don't go on TikTok and follow the news or is it deeper than that? Oh, it's far deeper than that. Oh my, I literally feel like I just entered into a different dimension simulation because I, my entire life thought I was too self-aware. I mean, I think it's true.
I think you're telling me the aspect of like, you're kind of hard on yourself, but it is funny to me. And I remember you said on a recent episode, like I'm so self-aware. I'm so self-aware. Blah, blah, blah. I think it's more like,
you're the talent. And our boss. - And HR. - So regardless, kind of what you say kind of goes, not saying we don't share our opinions and stuff on it. - Sometimes it's easier just to let you exist in your world. It's easier for us. - Okay, if I knew having you two on was just gonna be a fucking roast, I would have like maybe-- - Reconsidered some things.
Okay, that was a truth bomb that I was not ready for. Alex, how do you live in this delusion? Because there's no way I'm the only one. Kiana, you said you live it a little bit. Oh, a lot of it. A lot of it? A hundred percent. I think it's a different delusion in the sense of like... Okay, so how are Alex and I's different? Mine seems like the most terrifying because I had no idea that I was. I mean, it is terrifying. I feel like...
You and me, we live a life of delusion as in we think our actions don't have consequences because a lot of the time they feel like they don't. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, go out in public and like do something outlandish. Yes. And honestly, I don't know if it's like there's no consequences or we just don't care.
Well, you know what it is, and I tell you guys all the time. Well, say it. It's some white girl shit. Privilege. It's like some real white girl shit. It's some privilege. For sure. And like some of the stuff you guys do or like just like this...
delusion and we keep using this word delusion but there's so many levels to it and different aspects to it but the one you guys live in sometimes it's like oh you don't like exist in the same world that like a lot of people do but it's not to say you guys are doing like actual fucked up shit or you're a menace to society I mean you are to a degree but anyone who knows you knows that's the case but like you guys do live in kind of like your own privilege but not in a not necessarily in a negative way it's kind of like
And it's fun to admire sometimes because it's like, holy fuck. We're not doing some diabolical... No, no, nothing like that. I wouldn't be friends with you guys if that was the case. Let's give an example of like some shit we would do that is just complete delusion and should not be okay. This past weekend, for example, I was dressed...
like how funny and how fucking ironic Johnny Depp, my idol that was said with sarcasm, fear and loathing in Las Vegas. I had a bucket hat. I had the yellow sunglasses. I, I just, I looked like I was on some shit and we were at Lucien and we had a table, which is this really incredible restaurant in New York. Best food ever. And we went inside. She's the restroom and the waitress was,
She looked at us and was like, there's no, I mean, this is what she was thinking in her head. Like, there's no way you guys can afford to be here. Like, she was like,
Like very skeptical. I was wearing sweats. You were too. Yeah, to let us use the restroom. She's like, there's no way these people are eating here. And like the bartender had to confirm with her that we were allowed to use the bathroom. Yes. And so was it the biggest deal ever? No. Did Alex and I proceed to make it the biggest deal?
thing to happen to Lucienne ever? Yes. And that's the white girl shit I'm talking about. Yes. You guys experience something that happens to minorities every single day in every place, whether it be a fucking gas station or Carbone. But it's like that's the reality for a lot of people. But because it was so startling for you guys, you proceeded to make a movie out of it, which is fucking hilarious. It was kind of also done in a...
funny way, which we, which you're saying. That's part of the delusion though. Everything we do is funny to us. Everything we do is funny to us. My car gets stolen. Hilarious. So funny. Yeah. Like what? But I think it's, Alex, you said you and I
we just think our actions have no consequences. I can name a few things Kiana has done as well that she thinks there are no consequences. Yeah, this is part of the delusion. And I would like to say before this, it's only done to certain people, certain types of people, which is usually white men. But I don't know. It's like reparations. It's like it's the least. Can we get an example?
Well. Where you're saying the least you could do. Yeah. Like, you know, to fight for the people. But it's so fucking stupid and ridiculous. But there's, it's become this thing, this bit where every time Sophie and I go out, which is a fucking terrifying experience to begin with. Terrifying. But I have this thing where I end the night with,
It's the mooching that we think we're entitled to. Absolutely. Because women empowerment. Exactly. I somehow end the night with a different man's watch every time. And there's no fucking or sucking that goes into this at all. None. And we're not
talking about like a it's not apple watch it's not his casio watch no exactly it's like an like an audemars piguet a rolex and it's on me like this is mine if they dare to ask for it back i'm looking at them like they're crazy it is about to fall off her hand because it's clearly a man's watch way too big for her and how she does it is i think that's the most impressive thing it's it's
Hey, can I try your watch on? I'll usually start with like a joke. I forget how it started. Well, let all the women listening know what the fucking joke is so we can all go home with one of those. I'm not even sure how it starts. I think you kind of have to feel out what kind of guy it is for sure. Because you have to know some guys aren't playing that. Like some guys are looking at you like...
bitch what? Like, what are you doing? There's a certain type of guy. Like I said, it's usually white men, especially if they're drunk or under some sort of substances. Every guy feeds off ego in general and they like flexing and stuff like that. Okay, so you stroke the ego and you're like, oh my God, like, is that an AP?
no it's I think it's more so the opposite of like like I'm kind of like fucking with them in their head like how smart are you really like I'm like I treat it as a way of like oh I'm used to this even though it's your AP it's your Rolex you probably bought it or whatever I'm automatically putting myself above them questioning them like where'd you get it who's your dealer how much did you pay for it like do you get fucked on the price and then like start talking to them about it and like they start to feel and they feel they need to
they feel demeaned or proof like how is this bitch talking to me like this whatever oh yeah i don't care about it here hold it you care about this 60 000 watch yes it's like some real sick twisted shit but i've also witnessed this firsthand and any regular person would think oh of course she's asking me she's being upfront about it she'll return it next thing we know we're at kiana's house at her dad's house in new jersey and uh she still has the fucking ap on her wrist but it sounds
It's some real thieving shit. It never goes that way. I don't know how to describe it because it's the most ridiculous thing. No, we always end up returning it, but we do have it for an extended period of time. Like an extended period of time. And I think what's funny is because their ego is so big, they don't want to seem like they're pressed for it, which is like you should be pressed for it because now I know you're a lick.
But I'm not a thief. I'll give it back. No. Both times, they didn't even have to ask me. And it was days. Yes. Okay, Kiana, I will give you that. You do give the watches back. A hoodie, sweats. Oh, that's out of here. Drugs, alcohol. Out of here. We'll be ingested. All of those things are completely stolen. Free game. It's mine. It'll end up on like grailed or like the world. It's mine. Like, good luck, Chuck. That shit, yeah. But like we draw the line there.
And I do the same shit. Yeah. I'm like a morally good person. Like I'm not going to like, cause if I really wanted to, like I said, like hit a lick on them. Like the fact that I have your AP for three days is insane. That shit could have been out of here. Right. Black market gone. Yep. I don't care if you have insurance on it, but that's where I draw the line in my delusion. I'm like, I'm going to give their shit back. Yeah.
As we're leaving a party, we will grab the brand new bottle of fucking 1942 Dom Perignon and take it with us like it's ours, which is not okay. Which I think comes from a place of privilege though because if they did throw a fit about it, like I said, there's a certain people that you do this to that we do it. There's certain people I know up front I'm not fucking with. Like I'm just not. But there's a certain...
way to go about it the AP thing that's a very extreme because it did happen though but it did happen I have text messages oh I have like pictures like it's like mine like bust down like it's just insane yeah just ridiculous antics this whole segment really just took a turn but I think people understand what we're saying it's
Living life and having some degree of delusion, I think is actually really important for your mental health because if you had no delusion and you took in the world as it is,
you will die mentally not be well yes I think that's what we're saying and like I keep saying comes from a place of privilege for sure there's certain things you can't ignore yeah there's like very real things going on in the world that I'm very aware of and outwardly yeah vocal about um but just like the small things you can do in your life to help you wake up each day and not want to fucking end it
You have to. Yeah. It's kind of a defense mechanism. Absolutely. In a way. But also, I don't think anyone should beat themselves up about it. You know, I mean, like, to an extent, yeah, like, I don't know about the AP shit, but like,
You know, you... You know, they say ignorance is bliss. And it 100% is. And it is. Like, have you ever seen an outward burst of emotion out of me? No. And I think it's because I've trained myself so much to, like, process things before there's any reaction. Which I think is... Delusion. Is...
a little bit sometimes I worry about it like sometimes it's like a little unhealthy I'm like how is it that I've had 78,000 mental breakdowns during the period of our friendship and I have never seen you once have one exactly yeah you need therapy so do you so do I that's it for fucking SLU University I can't
I think the people get it. Delusion, to a certain extent, is really good. And I think we should leave it at that and move on to SOS Save Our Sloots. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home or attending one live,
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Thank you.
I'm
♪♪♪
My favorite fucking segment of every single episode, questions, stories, advice. You guys are about to get some really amazing advice, but some really fucked up advice. But you know what? That's just how it works over here at Sloot Media. Okay. I'm going to read the first question. Are you guys ready? Yep. Okay. Okay.
Hi, Sophia. I am in need of some advice when it comes to getting back in the dating game. And my issue is letting guys down. This guy I'm talking to is sweet and checks the boxes. My ex didn't, but I still just think I can do better.
better than him. It sounds harsh saying out loud and that's precisely why I feel so ashamed to admit I don't fully want this guy. He probably feels really good about how things are going and I'm just too much of a people pleaser and don't want their memory of me to be tarnished because I don't want to have that effect on someone. Can you help me figure out how to let guys down without ruining a reputation all at once? Love you."
Okay, so me in a nutshell and literally how I live my life. No, I'm serious. I really do this shit. No, same. I was listening to this and I feel her on two levels. One, and you're like this too, Sophia, I will stay in something way longer than I should or I needed to simply because I don't want to have the conversation of breaking up with them or letting them down. We don't want to hurt feelings. But then it's so contradictory because I will do literally everything under the sun that hurts their feelings. Like...
terrible things except break up with them. Like it's sick in the head. But as far as what she's saying about ruining reputation all at once, they don't give a fuck. Like there's going to be a hundred other girls after you before you, but it's also, if you care about the reputation thing, men are so egotistical in general. So you might be quote unquote tarnished and his view, but who gives a fuck? Go fuck his friend. Like,
Like, who cares? Alex, what do you think? I was going to say, like, I think to some extent everyone feels that they can do better and that, you know, the grass is always greener on the other side. But I think it's important to remember that you can look for men and you can literally pick and choose what you want.
Kind of. They're not going to check every single box. You're not going to think blah, blah, blah. That's something that we were talking about is you can always feel as if you can do better, I think. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. No, and that's not even the issue. Her question is...
She feels like the men she is meeting are, they're great guys. She thinks she can do better. That's fine. Continue dating until you find the guy that you think is good enough for you. She's more worried about her reputation, which, um,
I don't who like same with Kiana. Who cares? Yeah. No matter what your ex is going to tell all of his friends that you're crazy. You're the one that did this. Like that's inevitable. I mean, you just need to be confident in the fact that, you know, that isn't you and keep dating because it's more like embarrassing on their end that they care so much about you when it was you the one that didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. True. And I think it's also important to assess it like situation by situation.
If you don't want to ruin your reputation, I mean, don't go out guns fucking blazing. And if he's like a pretty normal kind of guy, you should be able to end it on good terms. And I think it is good to end things on good terms because I have exes or guys I've dated that like,
I am still in good terms with and I think maybe you should look at this guy and look at his life like other parts of it that like you could potentially use going forward in life or just things certain parts yeah we're like if you kept him around kept a decent relationship with him or he could help or assist you in certain things that you might need that might be very selfish or manipulative but but gotta look out for yourself girl it's about delusion shit we were talking about yeah like
I relate to this girl on a different level because I guess now that I'm reading this, I must be such a people pleaser because I will never let a guy down. Same thing with a boyfriend. I will never break up with him. If I start talking to a new guy and I know for a fact there's no future, I will look him dead in the eye and say, I see a future with you. This is true. And we will get married.
which is not okay. So I feel this girl, but it's not even me being a bitch. It's me not wanting to hurt their feelings. You know what I mean? Well, we'll just hurt their feelings in every other capacity. But girlfriend, your reputation, like unless you're homie hopping and all of the guys are going on dates with all talk to each other, like,
what one guy like doesn't think that great of you welcome to the fucking club of womanhood like you'll be good girl music
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Okay, Alex, will you read the next one? Yes.
Sophia, I love you and the podcast, but SOS, did you know there was such thing as a hair fetish?
no fetish shaming here but this guy is literally paying me to style my hair however he wants 50 per hairstyle he just asked me to do as many braids in my hair as i could and that he would pay me 50 a braid your girl just made 250 for braiding her motherfucking hair i don't know where to find these people but it was just something i never thought was a thing i love you salute
is he taking any new clients dude because me and kiana got hair i know sophia's got one hair on her head but we got some hair and some braids that would fit i'll do the thing that used to do at school when you're little where you put like the soda bottle in your hair and tie it up yes whatever he fucking wants 50 a braid i would have fucking micro links in my head wait so is
Hold on. He is doing the actual braid or just paying for it? Paying her to braid her hair. He has a hair fetish of sort. So he pays her money to put braids in her own hair. To do various hairstyles. To style her hair. Yes. Yes.
That's a lot of work, actually. That is like he's not out here paying for like her nails or paying to go get her hair done. He's just paying her to have it be done. And just watch her style her own hair. But it's not always braids. She said style my hair however he wants. So this time it was braids. It could be fucking curls tomorrow. Okay. I mean, that's I've never heard of this fucking fetish in my entire life. And in my defense, you're saying I have one hair on my head. I have.
thick hair you guys specifically alex have a horse like a head of hair that's similar to a horse's tail this is true it is very it is very heavy i will say and adds a lot of temperature so you need to find this guy it's a drape for sure have you guys ever heard of this fetish because i have no i have no but i need to know where she found him for sure i'm very invested
Guys, if anyone has encountered a hair fetish, please write in and let us fucking know. This is like the shit I hear, like stuff like this and like girls will write in about these things that guys are doing, different fetishes and stuff like that. Where are they? Where do you find them? I tell you, I have been on every website, have checked every DM and I don't know, maybe I'm just not that special, but where are these people? I know. I mean, you know, I will admit I do get some guys in my DMs with fetishes, but never...
This kind. Never the right kind. Exactly. Never you. And this one fits...
the check the bar that's okay that's really funny though because i just want to wrap this up but we are all fucking lying right now because not no one in this fucking room really does their hair no i'm like but if he's paying me fifty dollars to do it i will be i will pop a squat in front of that fucking mirror and go to town i would rather not style my hair and not get paid
Well, that's dead serious. Someone makes a lot more money than the rest of us. Is that another roast you guys want to do? As your employees? I underpay my entire team, by the way. And we're looking for any compensation. Okay.
Kidding. Preferably hair. My employees are out here desperately trying to find this guy that will pay them $50 for a braid. That's okay. Not my problem. Okay. Kiana, do you want to do question number three? Sure. Okay. I've been catfishing my boyfriend recently and now with my quote unquote profile, he's been talking to fake me saying that he doesn't enjoy sex with me because I'm fat. That was a mouthful.
what it hurts that his last girlfriend is really skinny how do i feel confident being a fat girl and how do i become skinny so i can go back to him so okay she worded this very interestingly i don't understand how this is her boyfriend but she's catfishing him is this some sort of pen pal situation or catfishing him like she has a fake account yes and is talking to him he thinks it's another girl yeah and he's talking about yes that's what i'm what
And then she wants to know how does she feel confident as a fat girl and how does she become skinny so she can go back to fucking him? Okay, but the reason why she's asking that is because he said to the catfish, which he doesn't think is her, that his girlfriend is fat. Yeah. And doesn't want to have sex with her. One, you just need to leave him. Well, I think you need to find confidence within yourself with or without him because I do not think you need to be with him because as we just learned, there are men that are into...
All sorts of things. So whatever shape, size, color you are, I promise there is someone who is down to clown with you. 1,000%. And fuck you all sorts of ways. This guy sounds like a fucking loser to begin with. Who calls their girlfriend fat? Or just talks shit about her in general to a catfish. Or a spawn.
to the catfish to begin with. That means he hasn't even met this person because it's a fake person. It's not a real person. He's never met them and he's saying all this shit. He's a fucking dweeb. I mean, if I was dating a guy and he put on weight...
Or if he lost a ton of weight and I wasn't, it wasn't the same guy started dating and I wasn't attracted to him. I would talk to my friends about it and maybe like talk a little shit, whatever. But no, I feel like I was talking to him. That's the weird part. That's why I'm like, that's why it's weird. But I would never use the word fat ever. And even talking about yourself.
You know? Yeah. How do I feel confident being a fat girl? I mean, I think the word fat has like such negative connotations, but whatever size you are, there is someone that is down to fuck the shit out of you. Yeah. And I think you just need to find confidence in that. Also, a lot of guys have fetishes for larger women. That's a very...
common thing. Well, also, guys, we don't even know what fat is. Like, what I'm saying, like, that could be something completely different to anyone that you ask. Exactly. Yeah, I think the bigger thing here is not him being a fucking loser, more so just you finding confidence in yourself and whatever size you want to be or don't want to be. You go on that journey, but not with this guy. Hell no. No, you got to ditch this guy.
Yeah. First, the first red flag was him responding. Like that should have been the end. The first red flag to me was you creating a fake profile to catfish your boyfriend. I love the dedication. But like. I love that. But I agree. The red flag. And it's not even, it's not even like, oh, he responded to another girl. That's the red flag. I mean, I just take that with a grain of salt because I'm just going to assume they're going to do that anyway. It's the fact that he's getting catfished.
Like, I'm looking, if I'm with a guy and I find out he got catfished, I would reconsider his entire existence because, like, you're a fucking idiot. Loser. How in 2022 are you getting catfished? For sure. You haven't FaceTimed this girl when, like, you tell me you're going down to pick up the Uber Eats? Like, we all know the cheating finesses. Like, you go to your fucking, pick up your food downstairs, that's enough time to check in with your side hoe and come back. Yeah. I do want to say... Like, how is this happening? No, I have no fucking clue. I don't even know how that shit still happens, but...
she, she wants to, her question was, how do I become skinny so I can go back to fucking him? Don't try to gain or lose weight on behalf of someone else and what they're commenting on your body. A, B,
If we're going to give her real advice, what do we tell her if she does want to lose weight? Cause I like to be straight up. Yeah. Like, so, you know, the simple things like working out, eating, they say abs are made in the kitchen. Not that I have those, but it's what I hear. Um, you know, the answer to this, everyone knows they have to work out and eat well. It's fucking hard. No one wants to do it. I say that as I'm waiting for my fried chicken sandwich to arrive at the store. Um,
Can I just say something? Cause I found this very interesting is I'm talking to this guy and his dad lost 50 pounds and
And he only eats one hour a day, but eats whatever the fuck he wants. Yes, intermittent fasting. I've heard that. But eats whatever he wants to the point he will want to throw up. Yes. And then he'll just have to wait until the next day. Yes. Well, men can do shit like that. And that's also an eating disorder, I'm pretty sure. That's binge eating. I don't know about that. I mean, what's healthy eating? Don't know, but... Haven't heard of her, never met her. But I would like to say, to leave off, that...
You calling yourself fat and you saying you want to change it for him back to the confidence thing. This needs to be something for you. Like you clearly deserve better and you,
You need to get Out of that And do it for you And not for him Especially not a man No For sure You know what did Drake say Don't do it for the men Men never notice But at the same time I understand using it As like a motivation Like revenge Type thing Absolutely You can do that That's fine But as long as he's not Like the end goal Of like This is for you My king Mm
Like, no. Yeah. We're not doing that. I probably shouldn't be saying this, but as someone who is extremely skinny right now to an unhealthy degree, the guy I'm talking to is like, you look so much fucking better with 10 to 20 pounds on you. So...
We can't always please every fucking guy we talk to. Right? Right. Yeah. Okay. I think that's really good advice from us. I think that that's it for today. Kiana, Alex, I love you both so much. Why less? I'm so fucking excited that we're all in New York together because this has never happened. We need to do this again. And...
Plug your socials, you guys. You little clout chasers on my show. Okay, you can find me on Instagram at AlexFranco underscore meow. You can find me on Instagram and Twitter at Kiana Condors, K-I-A-N-A.
you can figure out the rest i have not posted a photo since november of 2021 so don't look for any hot tea there and you guys can find me spew than f franklin with the y on all social media except tick tock where it's sophia franklin and the number zero and as always for me for kiana for alex for everyone in this room please please please if you enjoy the show share it with your friends
posted on your story, whatever you can do. It means the world to us and I'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.
