78: Are You Being Pocketed? 01:01:40

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Welcome to the show. My name is Sophia with an F. That was obnoxious as fuck.

Guys, I have a flight tomorrow and I'm just already gearing myself up for an all-nighter because I still have a list of 78 things that need to get done before I go. But actually, sometimes I like it that way. So I stand a chance at sleeping on the airplane because I fucking hate flying. It's like, hmm, I don't want to sit in this tube in the sky for 20 hours. You guys, my flight...

is 18 something hours that I'm about to get on. Okay, so I'm gonna be fucking bored as fuck. I will absolutely be joining the Mile High Club. This trip is for pleasure. It's not for work, but I have already started drinking because I'm so fucking stressed. And honestly, I think the all-nighter trip

situation that I pull once a week, it's starting to just wear and tear on me. And I do not suggest anyone do it or get in the habit of that. However, for all my insomniacs out there, I just want you to know, because it can be a little bit of a lonely feeling. Just know that I am awake right there with you, baby doll. Okay. Um, guys,

I am recording from WTF Media Studios in SoHo, New York. You know why? Because I care. Okay, there are some days, I'm not gonna lie, I do just wanna record from my bed, like today, for example, absolutely. But you guys need professionalism. I understand that. And I'm gonna give it to you. Despite what people might say, I am going to give you that.

So before we get into this week's episode, I do want to be serious for a moment here. And I want to send my love and condolences to everyone affected by the horrific event that occurred this past Tuesday at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas.

I mean, there are just no words. I got so emotional when I read about this and my heart truly breaks for the children, teachers and their families. There are not enough prayers or bullshit out there.

active school shooter drills in the fucking world to fix these tragedies. There needs to be a change immediately because no child, no human being deserves to die because of a lunatic who has access to a military grade weapon. Okay. At 18 years old, you can buy an assault rifle, but like not a white claw. Okay.

the fuck out of here, please. So again, my heart goes out to you all and I'm going to end it there because again, there are truly no words for a tragedy like this. And let's get into the episode because we have a lot of things to discuss. Okay. Like a lot, a lot.

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Your cash back really adds up. So I mentioned my trip. It's very sporadic. It's probably very irresponsible. It's 100% irrational to be going on this trip. It's like a little Memorial Day weekend soiree, if you will. I wish there was some celebratory reason as to why I'm going. Like I told you guys I'm going for pleasure. There really isn't.

the world is burning and I needed a vacation. That's about the only explanation I have. And I just went through a breakup and I'm really good at distracting myself, numbing myself and just not dealing with feelings. So maybe that's why. Damn, it's going to be a hell of a time. And to the people coming on this trip,

Let's out of the five nights I'm there, how many of them am I going to end up drunk crying? I'm going to go ahead and say four out of five, but that's besides the point. So I've been prepping as you do when you go somewhere tropical. I got a blowout, a spray tan. I got my nails done. I

The getting the nails done. I get the shellac on the hands. I get a regular pedicure because as everyone knows, regular polish on your feet is,

can last through World War III and a Hiroshima bomb, okay? That shit lasts forever. I'm actually going to post a picture because it's actually hilarious looking back. This lady did my nails and it was actually the worst manicure I've ever received in my entire life. I had to... I promise there is a point to this story, so stay with me, okay? This lady...

I had to remind her not once, not twice, but three times to turn on the little UV light thingy so that the shellac would harden. Okay. I had to remind her that. I also had to remind her to file like two of my nails. And now...

Let's just say the nails are looking a little wonky and I'm going to post a fucking picture and you guys will see. You're probably all wondering, okay, that's when you tell the lady that they were done incorrectly and to please fix the issue. And I get that. And I know that regular people do that. I cannot...

tell a nail technician to fix my nails. I don't care if I ask for a French tip and she paints my nails black. I will go cry in my car before I bring it up to them. I don't know why. I have no fucking clue. I have a mugshot.

for getting arrested and then resisting arrest and running away from the cops. I used to tell my teachers to fuck off all the time in high school. Authority is not really something I give a shit about.

Except when it comes to the nail salon and the lady doing my nails. That's when it's not okay. I'm extremely conflict avoidant. And this time was no fucking different. So I'm headed on to my vacay with these fucking crazy nails. But it's something I'm working on. And the thing is, is I was thinking about this.

And you know what you will never catch me doing, which is a thousand times worse, is not saying anything and then leaving a bad review.

I was thinking about this on my way home. I was like, oh my God, she did the worst job ever. But like, I didn't want to say anything, but like, I got to fucking warn people. And then I was like, Sophia, shut the fuck up. You do not need to warn people. It's not that serious. You could have just said something to her, but the people who don't say anything because they're pussies,

AKA me, but then go and sneakily write a negative review about an institution. You guys are fucking Karens and your lives are so boring that you literally walk around just looking for an opportunity to be upset or to complain and your hair looks like shit.

And listen, if you had a horrible experience, I completely understand that. Okay. Actually, no, I fucking don't. If you go somewhere and you have a bad experience or the food isn't great, don't you think that that place deserves like a few more tries? Like if someone were to meet me and just base that one interaction with me,

And that was going to form their perspective on how they felt about me. If they liked me as a person, that's fucked up. What if I was in a bad mood? This nail lady doing my nails, maybe she got something in her eye. I don't fucking know. I just think it's complete. It's bullshit. And it's like, I don't understand these people who have the time to

to just leave review after Yelp review after Yelp review? Like, what are you gaining from that? And if you are one of these people, and I mean, I have really good fucking friends who do this. My friend the other day like wrote some shit about Adele Taco.

And she was like, "I would just like to be treated with the same loyalty that I treat Del Taco or some shit." She wasn't even trying to be funny. She was serious. So like, I'm not completely judging you, but I'm just, I'm trying to understand you. 'Cause to me, from an outsider's perspective, you know what it looks like?

It looks like you are on the same level as the people who write rude ass shit on my Instagram posts or on my TikToks or whatever. It's like the equivalent to that. So this whole fucking thing just like got me thinking, got my wheels turning. And I decided to take a look at my fucking reviews on Apple Podcasts.

I looked there and then I also like looked on TikTok. I wouldn't say I avoid my comments. I'm definitely not one of those people that sits there obsessing over every single one, as I'm sure you can imagine. But I just started looking through some of these, you guys. And I was so proud of myself because...

Not one of them got to me. I honestly think after all that drama shit that happened, like I have a fucking armor and it takes some crazy ass shit to really get me down. Obviously over time, like, yeah, or if I'm having a bad day, maybe it will get to me a little bit, but I need to read some of these to you guys. Okay. Okay.

This was an Apple review of my podcast. They rated it one star titled Devoid of Any Value. You need to be fired once again. Look at the bright side. It is the one thing you're good at.

Devoid of any value? I'm sorry. I just talked about getting your nails done and a flight that I have tomorrow for 20 minutes. I don't see where the value is fucking lacking. Okay, asshole. That was sarcasm. But you know what? I do fucking bring value here. Look at me pretending like I don't get butt hurt. Okay, next.

Aren't you like 29? Why are you still acting like this?

I guys, I'm not going to lie out of all of them. That one is like the one that kind of like hit me a little bit. That one was like a little bit of a dagger because like I do sometimes wonder that. But also at the end of the day, are you fucking kidding me? How many 40 year old dudes do you know who act like frat bros? I don't need to act any fucking different because I'm 29. OK, I can act like this when I'm 69. OK.

I really love how I just preach to everyone that these things don't affect me and everything I've read so far, I have come back with a counter and a reason as to why they're wrong. Someone who's not butthurt would not behave that way, right? I'm really not fucking butthurt, whatever. Okay. Oh my God. This, I mean, this one titled poster girl for plan B.

Best reason yet to use birth control actively and often. Okay, you know what? This person is fucking hilarious and please DM me. I would like you to come right on my show. They rated it one star.

I'm the best reason for people to use birth control. I think that's only a positive. Are you kidding me? More people need to be using birth control. Honestly, I think I'm really just like doing fucking charity work. Okay. This is the last one. And then I swear to God, we're gonna move on. Ron Ulysses Swanson, your picture. Very interesting. He wrote in and he said,

This voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I lose brain cells every time I come across her speaking.

And to that, I say, I completely agree. Some people would argue that my voice is soothing, but I see where you're coming from. I absolutely do. And I would say I would work on it, but that's just my voice and I can't do anything about it. And good luck, brother. Okay, guys, thanks for indulging me. I just, I thought those were fucking hilarious and thought maybe you would laugh.

All right. Oh, another quick update before we really jump in, you guys. I'm sure many of you saw it already. There was a YouTube video released this week featuring yours truly and the Nelk boys. And we were pranking someone and I had to deal with Stiney again.

For those of you who don't know who Stiney is or what a Nelk boy is, you really don't fucking need to. The Nelk boys, basically, they have an insanely successful YouTube channel, entertainment company. If you've seen your 15-year-old brother wearing a hoodie that says Full Send, that's them. Happy Dad, that's them. Okay, I'm like, why am I giving them all this free promotion? What the fuck? Those are the Nelk boys. Stiney is...

part of that. And...

His real name is Aaron Steinberg. There really are no words. He's really, really hard to explain as a person. And our relationship with each other is a very, very complicated one, but I'm going to try and do my best. You guys should all go check out the video for your fucked up enjoyment because my pain and suffering really deserves all of the views.

But for some background, a while back, I did a YouTube prank and I actually pranked Stiney, okay? Who was the Nelk Boys assistant at the time. I don't know if he still is. And he thought I was hot and he had DM'd me and he must've told someone that he thought I was hot because Kyle then reached out to me and was like, let's prank this kid. So basically the prank was I went out on a date with him

made him believe I actually liked him, got him back to my hotel room, quote unquote, and got him handcuffed and blindfolded. At which point I was straddling him. I got off of him. I'm fully clothed, by the way.

So like I was doing some magic, like what guy lets a fully clothed girl handcuff and blindfold him? Hi, like that wasn't weird to you. Me having a fucking earpiece in my ear wasn't weird to you, like whatever. But then they swapped me out with another guy from the team. It was really fucking hilarious. And the whole point to this is this dude is a fucking animal, right?

An animal. Okay. And that's the only reason I don't feel bad for pranking him and embarrassing him in front of millions of people. I mean, when we were at our dinner date, quote unquote, he didn't know he was being filmed.

Okay. He had no fucking clue he was being pranked. And the things he said to me, let me, let me go down the list. I fucked way hotter girls than you. You're hot, but I have fucked hotter. Like I live in Miami. Like I've done that. Why would a guy say that? Is that supposed to make me think more highly of you? Cause like you've fucked a hotter girl.

Because it doesn't fucking work. Men listening, don't try that at home. He was just gross. He showed up late. He was rude. I mean, just all around thumbs down. And the thing is, is this shit has not stopped.

It has not stopped. I see this man everywhere. He texts me all the time. To this day, I will show you guys the text. He just fucking called me two times in a row. I have no idea what he wants. It's like an ongoing bit we have. And now I can't tell if it's like funny or if I should be scared. But fast forward to present day and I shoot another prank with the Nelk boys and I'm

Of course, of course. It's not till after I land in Long Beach, California that they decide to tell me that I will be doing a fake makeout scene, which they did not let me know beforehand. And the fake makeout scene will be with Stiney.

How convenient you guys to let me know in front of the cameras after I've touched down in California. So fucking convenient, but you know what? I'm a good sport. I can go along with it. And while we're filming the prank, Stiney and I have to sit in this room for, I don't even know how long it felt like fucking hours.

And it's the shit that happens when you're not being filmed where the real fucking gold is. Because that hour or two that I spent with him when it wasn't being filmed was the most outrageous shit I have ever witnessed from the opposite sex in my entire life. Oh my God, I don't even know where to start. When I tell you that,

During this waiting period, he called every single person in his phone book to let them know he was with me. He FaceTimed.

No exaggeration. At least 15 people. Hey, look who I'm with. It's Sophia. Oh my God. Like, hey, it's Sophia. Like he called his father. You guys, he called his dad. He FaceTimed his dad, put me on the FaceTime. His dad was like laying in bed naked and I was just blinking and like,

I respect my elders. So of course I was like, oh, like, hi, Mr. Steinberg. How are you? And I think Steini was like, dad, this is the girl that pranked me. And his dad was actually really cool. His dad was like, oh, she's one smart girl. But he's just like, he is a wild fucking dude. He tried to give me his tennis bracelet for Shabbat.

He kept harping on the fact that we did have chemistry and there was something there during that date, which was a prank, which I don't think has gone through his head yet. I mean, he's been trying to convince me of that ever since that shit happened, like for months. I just like, I was shocked that he was like going to continue on that whole thing. It's like fucking insane, right?

And then, of course, I ended up running into him the next morning and he was with like some other girl that he had 100% obviously fucked the night before. Girl, shout out, no shame. So props to him. Maybe he actually hired an actress to like show me he gets fucked. I don't know what it was, but...

I don't know. I know not all of the Sleuths Follow the Nelk Boys are full sen, but I'm contemplating having Stiney on an episode so you guys can get a full grasp of this fucking character of a human. Okay, guys. Now let's really get into the episode, okay? I have some shit I want to unpack.

my God, I didn't even do that segue on purpose. We are going to be talking about unpacking and packing. I'm just, oh my God. Okay. That's show biz, baby.

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So I don't know if it's because my FBI agent has been seeing me trying to rush order bathing suits and coverups for the past three days or because I've been like refreshing my fucking Delta app every 40 minutes to look for flights because I like to get them the day before. I just have been seeing all over TikTok, literally all over my feed,

traveling TikToks. It's the only fucking TikTok that pops up. All kinds, all kinds of traveling, resort reviews, flight hacks, restaurant recommendations, et cetera, whatever. I love it. There's nothing wrong with that. There are way more things to complain about on fucking TikTok.

Except there is one traveling TikTok that really makes me feel some type of way.

And it's the packing TikToks. And I know you guys have seen them. The ones that are like, pack with me for my seven day trip to Greece. And they show every step of them packing from which underwear they're bringing to the amount of fucking Q-tips they're putting in their toiletry bags. Like that type of shit. I don't know if it's because I feel personally attacked or

because I am not fully packed until the plane is literally boarding. But these videos stress me the fuck out. These girls are planning outfits for

not even day by day, which is already a huge fucking accomplishment. Can't relate. But meal by meal or like whatever excursion they have that day, it's completely insane. I don't even know how to have one outfit for one day. I don't even,

I don't even know how to do that in my own apartment. Like I have no idea what's going to like go together. Really? I have to try on 17 different versions before I actually know. I just throw a bunch of my favorite stuff in my bag and I pray to God that I'll be able to mix and match or I'll be able to buy something wherever I'm going or my friend will have something for me. Usually I like raid my friend's closets. That's usually what ends up happening. But like,

these girls legitimately are like, this is my outfit for breakfast by the beach. This is my outfit for lunch when we're horseback riding. This is my outfit to lounge in between lunch and dinner. This is my outfit for when I shit. Like it's, there's an outfit for fucking everything and it's planned to the T. Like she knows what thong she's wearing and what headband and what fucking earrings with what pants.

How? How? I mean, if you're a fashion blogger and like you get paid for it and you do it for a living, like I kind of get it in that sense. But like, no, these are just...

organized people on steroids and it's fucking crazy. Like how are you people able to plan this far ahead? If you are one of these people, I need to know. I don't even know if I have enough clean clothes to go to the bodega tomorrow morning, let alone pre-plan my entire vacation. And to make it even worse,

They're not just planning their outfits and throwing them in a bag. No, they're putting the entire outfit in a fucking Ziploc sandwich bag with those little printed out labels on them, telling them exactly what's in the bag.

as if they didn't just pack it themselves and at which latitude and longitude they're wearing it at. You do not need to separate them into little tiny baggies like you're packing your kid's lunch. Stop it. It is a suitcase. It is not a paper bag with an apple and a fucking ham and cheese sandwich, okay? I'm sorry, that's not being organized. That's called OCD, okay?

Okay. And I know I am not a doctor and I think I myself have some symptoms of that and I cannot tell anyone or diagnose anyone. It's just, it's a compulsion. There is no way that's stable behavior and I'm not hating. Well, I am hating, but I'm hating because I'm jealous, but I also am hating because like there

there's gotta be something else you do with your time. I don't trust someone that's that excited about packing. Everyone knows packing is the worst thing in the entire world. I'm really trying not to hate,

Because clearly I have never demonstrated stable behavior in my life ever. I'm hating because I wish that this, what they do was my type of unstable. It's a lot less self-destructive than what I'm out here doing. Oh my God. And then let's not even bring up the fact that they're setting up their tripod and

and camera and ring light to document the packing.

Oh my God, if I was in the middle of packing and someone caught that shit on camera, someone was a fly on the wall while I was packing for a trip, I would be institutionalized. I turn into a monster. I cry sometimes actually. And I will start Googling shit like how long does it take to pack? And I'll start doing that obsessively. I end up crying or having a panic attack

during a packing session. So I just, I can't imagine that amount of positivity when you're rolling up your clothes and putting it in your hat so that your hat doesn't get smushed. I just had to get that off my chest because it has truly been sitting in front of my cerebral cortex, haunting me. So it's, if any of you are this super organized packing, I'm

Please let me know how you are able to operate like this and what trauma led you to being like this. Because my trauma led me in the complete fucking opposite direction. Okay, guys. With that, I would like to get in to a little thing I like to call Sloot University. I end up crying or having a panic attack during a packing session.

You're hot, but I have fucked hotter. Guys, it's been a fucking minute. Salutes gather around the campfire. We are having an outdoor class today because it's warm out and because sometimes it's good to have a change of scenery. Am I right or am I right? I want to talk about pocketing.

Now, you may have not heard of this term before. I hadn't. But I promise you, you have experienced it in some capacity, whether you were the one being pocketed or doing the pocketing. And what it means is, in general terms, is when your partner is hiding you or a part of their life from you.

Okay, and that could, I mean, that could mean a million different things. Does your partner not bring you around their friends or family? Pocketing. Does your partner not acknowledge your existence on social media? Pocketing. Has your partner slipped up before and called you his girlfriend and then his friend made a face and said your girlfriend because they didn't even know of your existence? Pocketing.

Are you being pocketed, sleuths? Because if you are, you may be entitled to legal compensation. I'm kidding, but we need to talk about this because you know what? I have been pocketed and I 1000% have been the bitch who's doing the pocketing. I have a really strong stance on this and I think a lot of people are going to disagree with me, but that's just the way it goes. It's my fucking show. When people use the term pocketing,

pocketing today, it usually is in reference to social media. Like is your boyfriend one of those guys who has one photo on his Instagram from that vacation he went on in 2011 and he has not posted since?

You're probably not being pocketed if he hasn't posted you. You know what I'm saying? Does this mean there's no way he's not cheating on you or he's the scum of the earth? Absolutely not. But he's clearly just not a social media guy.

And in his head, posting a photo on the internet holds no value to him, which quite frankly is preferred. I'm just saying that's the type of guy I like rather than a guy out here fucking posting selfies and the top of his IG story is 50 dots because he films every single thing he said or did that day. Anyways, I digress.

Now, is he the type of guy with a very active social media presence? Does he have an account on every single platform? He's got Twitter, Discord, TikTok, interacts with friends, posts stories, and then you're nowhere to be found. That's a different story. But I don't like to leave things as cut and dry as that because honestly, things are never that black and white. And I know that from experience.

You will not catch me dead posting a guy on my Instagram. Maybe on my story, maybe for fun, for shits and giggles. And it might not even mean he's my boyfriend. I might do that just because it's a guy I'm fucking, just because it's fun, just because he's making me look good, just because it's a cool picture. You will not catch a man showing up on my feed though, honey. I can promise you that. I am a pocket tour girl.

Then you've got the flip side to this whole thing, which is also something I feel because there have been phases in my life where I have wanted to be pocketed. Okay.

Maybe not with like the negative connotation that comes with the word, but I really did not want the world to know I was with this certain person or anyone at all just to protect my sanity. I was either embarrassed by them or I just wanted the world to think I was single or maybe it was to protect me and the relationship.

Like that's the thing, you guys, it's a little bit more intricate than it seems on the surface. Some people just don't want to be posted and there really may be no negative connotation behind that. On the flip side, some people do not want to be posted because they don't want to lose all of their hoes.

I have also been that person. I sound like I have multiple personality disorder. I have pocketed in every way, shape or form. Holy shit. I'm just being honest though. You also have to evaluate the relationship you're in and the phase you're in. So,

Some people genuinely seek social validation so fucking much that they want to post the guy slash girl they're with five weeks into dating. And that is just way, way, way too early, my friends. Okay. Way too fucking early. One of the worst things you can be on social media is the serial dater.

Although it is a good way to keep your follower count up because I can't tell you the amount of bitches I still follow because it's so interesting seeing a new boyfriend on her page every three weeks. It's just, it's completely unhinged behavior, but I just, I can't not watch. I'm glued to the television. It's like, who's next? Hold on.

holy shit. Some relationships are just in a shitty place and you're not sure where it's going to go. So you keep it on the low, or maybe you're with that guy that your friends have been telling you as a piece of shit. So you don't acknowledge him on social media and you turn your location off when you go to his house. There's levels to all of this, but let's just be real.

In a normal, healthy relationship, I think everyone wants to be shown off by their partner to a degree. And in reference to what I was saying about values before, this is where they really need to be discussed.

Personally, again, I am completely fine with not being posted as long as we are really doing the relationship thing in real life. You're not sneaking me in through the back door of your apartment building. We can go out to dinner in real life. I've hung out with your friends a million times. I've met your family. That works for me. We hold hands in public.

But that is just not the case for everybody, obviously. And I mean, I say this works for me loosely because once I'm like four tequila shots in, I am taking your phone and posting my face to your Instagram story. So these bitches know what's up. It's all about balance.

I mean, sometimes it is fun to just post a little sum to get the people going on social media, on my profile, on his profile, on anyone's fucking profile. But it's like some people value social media too fucking much where every aspect of their online presence has to reflect that they are in a relationship. Oh my God, if your bio says so-and-so's wife...

we're not gonna be friends, okay? We're just not. This is a recipe for disaster. Although I gotta say, I absolutely love your extremely staged beach candids.

And when you write each other's name in the sand with a heart, those really like give me pleasure and I laugh hysterically. Overall though, and maybe this is just stemming from a place of insecurity and I'm the one that needs help, but why would you throw your relationship in people's faces?

and leave the door open for every single person to give their opinion on your relationship. That's kind of the way that I feel about it.

You posting on social media does not mean you guys have a healthy relationship. It doesn't mean that you guys love each other more than people that don't. It's just, it's really more like how you value social media is the way I look at it. I don't feel a need to like post with my guy and I don't feel a need for him to post me. And I do think that once you're just so public about it and you're throwing it in everyone's face, it's like,

It's opening the door for some drama. That's when you start having people DM saying like, oh, like I dated blah, blah, blah. You need to know this about him. And all just all of that bullshit, you do open the door for that happening. If you guys are in a strong relationship, it shouldn't be an issue, but it's just annoying as fuck. And honestly, I don't care about social media. My team fucking...

cringing, crying that I'm saying that. I just don't care enough about social media to feel like I need to post that person and to risk opening it up to all the crazies out there that just want to be fucking assholes. You know what I'm saying?

Overall, though, the thought of being pocketed is embarrassing as fuck. And I want to specifically talk about this today because not only do my sleuths write in weekly with some variation of this, but this is confession time. And here I am at the confessional.

I also posted a photo this week. No, excuse me. It wasn't this week. A few weeks ago, I believe that maybe said more than I was ready to say to the public. And I know you guys are going to fucking kill me, but you just need to stay tuned about that. Okay. It was just, it was a picture. I'll explain it later. You guys have to listen to your gut.

You can write in all the questions you want, read all the articles in the world, but no one knows your partner and your relationship more than you do. If your gut is telling you something is off, it's probably off. Does he always have an excuse as to why you can't come to the family barbecue or why you can't go to a work event? You might have a cereal pocketer on your hands. That's all I'm saying. And you need to have a conversation early

about how you guys want to handle these things because unfortunately, in our day and age, it will cause problems down the line somehow, some way. And I just want to leave you guys with my last bit of advice. And this is the last thing I'm going to say. And the most important, do not force a man or a woman, but it's mainly men though, to

to do anything. Never force him to post you or comment cute shit on your photos. If he's not doing that and it's really bothering you, you have to leave because it will just continue to eat at you and create resentment. And bringing that shit up over dinner every other week is, like I said, embarrassing as fuck. And he can sense that too.

Oh, and I would love to give an honorable mention to the bitches who strategically pocket. Oh my God, these are my favorite and I will absolutely be doing this shit on my trip. The girls who post photos of just his hand holding hers,

Like just the back of his head. You, you bitches fucking kill me. I don't hate the idea where you just like conspicuously, like his tattoos are in the corner somehow. I don't hate the idea, but I do hate the idea of you thinking that anyone cares that much about your relationship.

Like you're not that mysterious. This is not a Gap brand campaign that you have to soft launch. Just stop. No one cares. Either post him or fucking don't. Okay. And with that, class is over. No homework tonight. It's a holiday weekend. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and enjoy and be safe, sleuths. And with that...

I would just like to get into my favorite part of the fucking episode, which is questions, stories, advice, SOS, save our sleuths. Let's fucking go. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber powered Internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home or attending one live,

You can do more without spending more. Learn how to save at Cox.com slash internet. Cox Internet is connected to the premises via coaxial cable. Cox Mobile runs on the network with unbeatable 5G reliability as measured by UCLA LLC in the U.S. to H2023. Results may vary, not endorsement of the restrictions apply. ♪

I am extra excited this week because we had quite a few men write in. Okay, straight men. And I fucking love to see it. Okay, question number one.

So,

Something feels wrong about this. Not only do I feel kind of creepy, but also this feels ineffective. I was wondering your thoughts on this or if there is a better way to improve my dating life from a girl's perspective. Male dating coaches usually say not to trust advice from women because they don't know what they want. But I always thought you were very intelligent and self-aware, so I trust your insight. Thank you.

The male dating coaches are out here saying that women don't know what the fuck they're doing because they don't know what women want.

L-O fucking L. That's the first thing you should do is get rid of this dating coach. Okay. There's my advice. First thing. But I will say I like the idea of him having you hit on girls during the day. And the reason being is you need to be a different level of confident and

to hit on someone during the day than at night for several reasons. I mean, nighttime, it's dark. That in and of itself, people are a little more rowdy. Inappropriate behavior is just more accepted. And then the biggest one is the alcohol. You know, people are usually liquored up and that's what gives them the confidence to hit on women.

So you going up to a girl during the day, you don't really have any of those clutches. And I like that he's having you do this because once you can master it during the day, you're going to fucking destroy it during the night. You know what I'm saying?

And there is no reason to feel creepy about it if you go about it the right way. Like if you go up to a girl as if you're in high school and you're like shaking and all you say is, hi, I think you're cute. Can I get your number? No. Okay. Save that for when you were fucking 10.

22, not 32. Okay. You're too old for that bullshit. You need to go up to this girl with something interesting or something funny. And if you don't have that, this is all you need to say. Listen to me very clearly. All you need to say is,

Hey, I usually do this type of thing at night, but I just I needed to come up and talk to you and see if I could get your number. Or you can go up to her and be like, hey, like, do you have a second? I know this is really crazy and like kind of random, but like, do you want to grab lunch? Point out that it's like a little bit random, right?

You know, they'll like that. You pointing it out makes them feel more comfortable because it's not like, oh, does this weirdo not think it's weird that, you know, he's trying to hit on me in the middle of my fucking Trader Joe's shit. Just point it out and just be comfortable and confident. And if a guy hits on me during the day,

I see it no differently than if he does it at night. It's just that he needs to be just as confident, okay? All right, next.

Hi, Sophia. I wanted to ask you if you have rules about moving in with a partner. How soon is too soon? I want to do it because I think I'll regret it if I don't. But is it too soon for us to live together? We've been dating for a year and a half. Thank you and love you. Okay, this is a really good one.

So I think there's two ways to go about this, the healthy way and the unhealthy way. The unhealthy way is one of my favorite things because

You meet a guy, you guys hit it off. Sex is insane. You're getting along. You're spending every night together. Next thing you know, you basically live with him and you're playing house. Okay. This is always really, really fun until it's not because you never had that healthy, normal relationship boundary and just basically moved right in together. Okay.

It's fun. It's really fun. It's really not the best way to go about it at all. The healthy way to go about this is to date like normal fucking people, sleepovers, maybe on the weekends,

And, you know, sometimes during the week, but there is a clear separation of I live here and you live there and there will be nights that we're not together and you don't have an entire closet full of shit at his house. I mean, I don't know how old you are, but you said you've been dating for a year and a half. I think that's great.

But if you're still young, why rush it? Why would you want to sign a lease with someone when you can very well have your own place and just have sleepovers whenever you want?

Also, that boundary is so important. Trust me. You need your own time and your own space, especially when you're young. You have your entire life to share a house with a man who's a slob with your two little snotty kids. Again, I don't know how old you are or what the situation is, but unless you're on some fucking military shit where they get married after two months,

I would say don't rush it. I see no benefit of moving in together and doing all of that. However, however, I think after dating a year and a half, that's a little bit too soon for me. Again, it's dependent on the relationship. I don't know your guys' relationship. I don't know how much time you guys spend together already. I would look at that. If you ever feel that when you go back to your place, like...

some type of relief or calm, or sometimes you crave it. I think that's a really, really good sign. You should not be moving in with him, you know? Okay. Next question. Sophia, I desperately need your help. My partner of almost two years doesn't feel comfortable enough to take his shirt off during sex.

I know it's because he feels insecure and I never pressure him to take it off, but I feel like our sex is less intimate because of it. He likes just raw and rough sex and I like to feel connected. Do you have any tips on how to incorporate more intimacy and passion into our sex so it feels more like we're making love? I know sounds gross and less like we're just hooking up and fucking all the time. Love you and thanks in advance.

I'm sorry. Did I read that correctly? You're telling me your boyfriend has not taken his shirt off in the two years you guys have been fucking. I heard that correctly. Okay. Let me just, all right. Let me, let me just get ready for this one.

Honestly, I wish I could give you an answer that wasn't he needs to take his fucking shirt off, but like he needs to take his fucking shirt off. You need to make it really clear to him that no matter what he's insecure about, hot belly, he's too skinny. He thinks his nipples are too big, too small, concave chest, whatever the fuck it is. I don't give a motherfuck.

You need to let him know that you love him no matter fucking what. And you need to kind of help him get over this thing because skin to skin contact is super important.

Even when you're just laying in bed and your head is on his chest, you don't get that ever because there's always a fucking T-shirt. There's always cloth in between you. I mean, even for me, like I've had moments where I've been fucking a dude and he like didn't try to take my top off.

And I'll kind of feel like it's not as intimate. I'm like, okay, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Like, maybe I don't have the biggest tits in the world. That shit should not matter. Like, so I feel what you're saying, but like kind of in the shoes of your boyfriend. But he really needs to get over this. I mean...

If he's insecure about his body in a weight way, then maybe you should encourage him to work out with you. But if it's not a weight thing, you need to talk to him regardless, okay? You need to really get to the bottom of it and tell him, hey, this is how I'm feeling about our sex. I want you to feel good.

so comfortable with me and be undoubtedly yourself like I am with you. And it's really important to me. And can we please talk about this? There's nothing that you could share that will scare me away and make him feel really, really safe about it. Either that or fucking tell him to buy a shirt that looks as a picture of chest and abs on it.

Or tell him to wear a fucking belly shirt. Like, I don't know what to tell you. He needs to fucking take the shirt off. Okay, next question. Hi, Sophia. Love the pod. I am in high school and a lot of guys are scared to date me because they think I'm manipulative. After I manipulated a few guys, what do I do? Oh, fuck.

This one is funny to me for a couple of reasons. Main one being, I am always so fucking shocked when I hear that I have high school listeners because good fucking God, girl, you are in high school. Like, how are you allowed to listen to this? I mean, Jesus Christ, take everything I say with a grain of salt, please. But girl, you're in high school.

The boys in high school at that age don't know their fucking left ass cheek from their right. Okay. I will say Gen Z, they're kind of super aware of mental health and shit, which is dope. But still, I would love to hear how you manipulated, quote unquote, these other guys so bad that the rest of your fucking high school has caution tape around you. I mean, I'm pretty impressed that

I just wouldn't focus on dating other boys in high school right now. You guys are all like 15 years old. None of it's going to last anyway. Do your own thing, girlfriend. And I promise these horny ass tweens and teeny boppers will still be passing you notes in organic chem. I promise.

Oh my God. Do kids still pass fucking notes in class? They don't. They text. Oh my God, I am old. That's the OG version of like sliding into the DM, but...

Also, if you're that pressed about dating around, just take advantage of the generation you're in. Talk to the boys from the next high school over. You're not limited to the guy at your local high school anymore like I fucking was. You can easily access guys from any fucking high school and they have their own set of drama in that school that they will be thrilled to have some fresh meat coming through. You know?

And if it's that bad, girl, just fucking wait till you get to college because you will have 30,000 million trillion guys to choose from. And in college, no one gives a fuck. So deep breath, sleuths. You have a lot of life to live and be careful when you're listening to my episodes. Okay, guys.

Thank you so much for listening. I am so lucky and blessed to have the sleuths with me. My breakup is still kind of raw.

And you guys have been super fucking great through that. As always, you can follow me on all social media. Sophia with an F, Franklin with the Y. And TikTok, it's Sophia Franklin and the number one. As always, though, the most important thing, share this episode, any episode, the podcast in general with your friends. It really helps me. And with that, I will talk to you next week.