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If you guys haven't noticed, I haven't had a new merch drop in a minute, but that is all about to change very, very soon. What you guys don't see is the madness behind the scenes and what shipping merch out really looks like.
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Hello, sleuths. Today, we have a special guest who is very near and dear to my heart. But before we get into that, I want to go over a few things, including but not limited to Elon Musk buying Twitter. What the fuck is that? Like ultimately taking over the world. But this is way, way, way, way more important than that.
I finally have new merch dropping and it drops at 10 a.m. Eastern on Friday, April 29th, to be exact. Mark your calendars. This has been so overdue. I just want to say, I guess this is the end of the show.
The New York Post and the Daily Mail did me a solid a few months ago when they released articles about a TikTok I posted. A TikTok about me having options because now you do too, Sloots. But for your fucking closet...
girl and this is coming from the bottom of my heart you guys this is my absolute all-time favorite collection that I've ever dropped I really took my time with this one I just wanted the fabric and the design and everything to just be elevated you know what I'm saying but
But besides it being cute as fuck, obviously, I added stuff that I've never dropped before. Trucker hats, tote bags. Oh my God, these super fucking cute boy shorts. So guys, the next time you're like on a Zoom and your boss is forcing you to have your camera on against your will, make sure you are wearing your eyes.
I have options hoodie so they know that you can leave that fucking job at any given time and take your talents elsewhere. Okay? You have options. I have options. I have stock options. I have dick options. I have all the fucking options. I can't wait for you guys to try it. It's truly worth every penny in my unbiased opinion.
But with that, Sleuths, super excited for you guys to listen to this episode and for you guys to hear next week's as well. I have a ton of exciting things going on that I cannot wait to tell you guys all about. Let's get into the episode. ♪
Hello everybody. Welcome to Sophia with an F. My name is Sophia Franklin. We're recording from WTF Media Studios. It's such a fucking vibe. It makes me feel like an actual podcaster, you know? Yeah, I do know. This is definitely an upgrade from your mom's basement. No, it was the closet.
Then my mom's basement Then back to a closet Oh, let me go ahead and introduce Who the fuck I'm talking to Guys, I have my best friend on, Ali Asmar Ali, how are you today? I'm doing great I love it
Allie and I, we have been best friends for what? Like 10 plus years? Yeah, for a really long time. Yes. And if you listen to the show, you know John Asmar. John liked the Bible. This is his sister. Do you like how I refer to you as John's sister? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of fucked up. Yeah.
I'll take it. I'll take it. Allie is in New York visiting. She's been begging to come on the show like has been fucking harassing me. Let's not get crazy here. You know how I am. I basically had to
had to drag Ali by her hair to like come and do this I'm just a shy person this isn't your type of thing no I'm very like keep to myself like I don't like people knowing my business but let's just say you were begging me to come on here and I'm doing you a favor you were on an episode though
Yeah, a while ago, like when you first started like on your own. That that was during the I call it like the dark period when I was still super, super fucked up from everything that happened. I have no clue what we like. I was I was heavily medicated on that episode. Yeah. But I mean, look how like look how far we've come.
I mean, look at you. I feel so much better. Queen of podcasts. I mean, are we recording this sober? No. We do have some rosé involved, but still, it's not anything compared to what it was. I've been living in New York for a month. You've been here twice already. I know. Well, I mean, John, he was like begging me to come here to visit him, and then he was like...
okay, so when you get there, you're staying at Sophia's, right? And I'm like, wait, hold on. Hold the fuck on. Do you want me to come see you or not? And then what did he tell you? He was like, oh yeah, like you can come to my place, but I'll just set you up on the recliner. I'm like, to sleep? To sleep.
Absolutely not. On the recliner. He does the exact fucking same shit to me. Like, I don't understand. He just has an issue with people sleeping in bed with him. But we could totally be roommates if we wanted to. We could, except for the fact that you try to make me sleep in like 60 degree AC. Ali, do you really want to go here? I do. Okay. Well,
Listen, I want everyone to fucking listen to this. Ali has a temperature problem in your body. I don't know what it is. It will be I will be sweating. I will be wearing like furry socks and a hoodie and two pairs of leggings. And you'll be trying to tell me it's cold. I think it's because I have a thyroid problem, but I legitimately don't.
I postmated a heating pad so I could sleep with it. Okay. There have been studies done and we looked it up. We did. We had to Google this. We did a full research project on it. Did everyone know that it's 60 to 65 degrees Fahrenheit is supposed to be the temperature you're supposed to sleep in?
in no because right now even living in San Diego my roommates like why did you set this to 80 degrees I'm like because I'm freezing that's why but you know what I also have insomnia and according to Google sleeping
Sleeping in like hot like temperatures. Yeah. Causes insomnia. So I don't even know. Guys, it said if you sleep in 70 degrees or above, that can cause insomnia. So for anyone having sleeping problems, now you fucking know. 60 degrees sounds very aggressive though. It is aggressive. I have to be real. It's aggressive. Anyways, that's not what we usually talk about on here. Um,
Let's get into the actual fucking episode, Al. I feel like we have so much to talk about. Ali is recently single. I am. I love how you call you out. I know. Like, what the hell? Like, thank you. How does it feel? It's sick.
sucks it's sad I'm 30 us growing up in Utah like I had that whole vision for myself like I had a Pinterest board of like what my like dream wedding would be or like having a dream like ring picked up or venue and that is not how it's going you were you were totally that girl that I swear since middle school you were like I'm ready to be the stay-at-home mom and
You wanted to be married like in your late 20s, I feel like. Yeah. At least by 30. Absolutely. Did you have a ring picked out and everything? Yeah, I did. And I thought I was going to have kids by like 23. Like, who am I? Um.
Um, you're not that girl that you thought you were going to be. What, you, you had the ring picked out at what age? For real, be honest. I don't know. I have a weird thing for jewelry. So what cut are you going to go with? Honestly, it changes every time. It does. But if I can just like hold up my hand, I just need a little crane to help me. Yeah.
Basically you don't give a fuck What shape it is As long as it's heavy And huge as fuck As long as my wrist hurts When I pick up my hand Then I'm good Yeah
We're not shallow at all, you guys. I know. I remember one time you asked me, have you ever thought about where you want your wedding to be? And I looked at you and I was like, nope, I haven't even thought about a wedding because I don't have a person that I know I'm going to marry. And you were like, yeah, I'm thinking vineyard. I was like...
Okay, bitch. Right. But I think a lot of people can relate to that. Yeah, absolutely. But now that like being 30, being single, like, I don't know. I just have so many other plans. You have other plans now, but do you kind of like...
Does it freak you out because at one point you did have that vision for yourself? Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Like that's always something that I think back on. Like recently, obviously, going through this breakup, I want to have that for myself. But there's just like so many things I want to do and accomplish personally. Okay. Now, you're like kind of like in the middle. Like, yes, it's sad. Like part of you is sad, but part of you is also sad.
In a different headspace where you're like, this isn't the worst thing. Absolutely. Like, I have shit that I want to do before I settle. Oh, yeah. What is it like turning 30? Because that is right around the corner for me. I know. It's coming up for you in July. Yeah. 30 is actually really fun. Okay. It is. It is? Yeah. But I don't feel 30. It just sounds old. Yeah.
You know? Right. I mean, I get on this podcast and I fucking preach to everyone like 30 is fucking nothing. Like 30 is the new 20, blah, blah, blah. I always say that shit and I believe it, but I'm, I would be lying if I said there isn't a tiny part of me that when I think, Oh,
in a few months here, you're going to be 30. It kind of freaks me out. To be honest. Well, yeah, I think it freaks everyone out. Yeah. Cause you got to say your twenties, your twenties, your twenties. Yeah. And then people are like, Oh my God, you're still so young. And now you're like, say I'm 30. And you're like, Oh, right. Oh,
okay it's one year different than what I was last year it's really fucking stupid and annoying it is but I feel like me being 30 I I kind of feel like I'm 27 yeah still got some years in me you know you act 27 I act 22 there you go
I kind of want to just live on a colony with my best girlfriends and just raise our kids together. Does that sound kind of fun? Dude, that sounds fucking incredible. Like, we don't need a guy. And we just hire male prostitutes when we want to fuck. Yes. And then they're in. They make us cum. They leave. Wait, that would be fucking incredible. Why aren't we doing this? I don't know. Why do we feel like we need a dude? I don't know.
I'm fully prepared to have kids without a guy if I need to. Right. I'm fully prepared to do that. I could totally do that. Let's do it together. Let's do it together. Have you like looked at your egg count? You told me like your friend did or something. My friends have. I haven't really looked into it because I'm just like, okay, like that's super down the road for me. Yeah. Is it though?
Aren't you kind of supposed to check a little bit early-ish? Because I swear you told me you knew someone who got it done at like...
late 20s or 30 and they told her she didn't have that many eggs. Yeah. She was just super worried about it because, you know, she has that issue like in her family. Oh, okay. You know, like you run out of eggs, like you're born with the amount of eggs that you have as a female. Okay. And they go away each time you have your period. So you can get a test. I didn't know that. Yeah. So you can get tests done at the doctor and they can tell you like essentially how many eggs you have left. Well, I kind of feel like we should both be doing that right now.
I need to freeze my eggs is what I need to do. What if they tell me, oh, you have two eggs left? You need to freeze them. Yeah. Why is that not something we're doing now at 29 and 30? Why would we wait till later? I think the cutoff time is like 35 to freeze your eggs.
Okay, well, I would rather freeze them now while I have like some to freeze. Yeah. You know what worries me about the age 30 is it's not even so much the kid part and how biologically I'm on a timeline.
I feel like men are turned off if they ask how old you are and you say 30. Oh, they are. They are? Yeah. Well, I have a friend and she works like as a matchmaker.
like a high end like matchmaker they pay like over 25k right shut the fuck up I swear 25k to help to ever help them yeah so these are like guys that are actually looking for like a spouse right and a lot of them are like we need someone under 20 do you think those girls are ready for marriage under 20 yes or under 30 under 30 oh I was
Holy shit. Sorry. In their 20s, I mean. I'm sorry. These are child brought. Whoa. What type of business is your fucking friend in like sex trafficking? What? Sorry. Okay. But they specifically asked for under 30. Yeah. Under 30. Yeah.
Exactly my point. I know. That's why. But I think that the reason is because when you hit your 30s, women especially like know who they are at that point and what they want in a relationship. And men are scared of that. I think so. I mean, actually, I know...
I know what it is from talking to one of my ex-boyfriends. He was older and would like I looked at his past relationship history and it was all girls in their 20s.
And I asked him, I was like, okay, why? There's a pattern here. Why are all of these girls in their 20s and you're, you know, not way older, but like significantly older? And he said it was because women in their 30s
Are trying to get shit moving. And they're very much like. If this isn't going to be a serious long term thing. I'm out. And guys don't want that. Like they want to go into something like. Oh let's just have fun and see where it goes. Right. Because they can like waste their time. Right. But also at the same time. Just because I'm 30. Does not mean I'm trying to jump into anything. No not at all. And I don't think men realize that. No. No.
It's just a different mindset. If I say, hi, nice... If I'm on a date with you and I say, hi, nice to meet you. I'm Sophia. I'm 30. My mind is not thinking, oh my God, could this be my husband? Could this be the father of my children? My brain is thinking...
Let's just have fun. Let's see how this goes. And I'm fucking freezing my eggs on the side and starting a colony with my friends. There we go. You know? Yes. So men listening, like, we're not all trying to fucking, like, get impregnated and marry you. Okay? You're not that cool. You're not. Get that out of your fucking head. But at the same time, yeah, I don't know. Like, I've...
I've had a little bit of anxiety knowing the 30 is coming up. There's just some pressure that I have like subconsciously. Yeah, I think it's just like society in general. And full transparency, I think another thing going on is like my relationship status right now is just a little bit...
Up in the air, I guess you could say. I don't fucking know. Whatever. But yeah. So basically you're telling me when you turn 30, like nothing really changes except that men are scared of you. Yeah. Men are scared of me. Which we don't give a fuck. No, no one cares. But also what you do realize is the people that you surround yourself with in your 20s are
You know, it's not so much like the quantity of those like friendships. It's the quality of who you surround yourself with. Like, do these people have good intentions for me truly? Or are they just trying to like, you know? I could see that. People start dropping like flies. Yeah. It's like, why are you here? Like, you're not really like doing anything positive in my life right now. Yeah.
I could do better. And I think you just, you do get clearer on what you want to surround yourself with. You're kind of like navigating that in your 20s. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to think of all the people I'm about to drop from my contact list. Mom, bye. You, bye. Shut the fuck up. Just fucking kidding. But, um, your 30s. Guys, I'm about to be 30. Allie's 30. We're figuring it out as we fucking go. If you're in your 20s,
Live it up. Live it the fuck up and do everything. But still do that in your 30s. No, it gets better. It gets better. 30s is doing what you did in your 20s, but with money.
I'm just saying literally mic drop. I fucking love that. Yeah. With money. Yes. I fucking love that. Like you can go on those trips now. You can go to Tulum and get fucked up with your friends and afford it and not have to stay at the, you know, motel that like you can't even lock the door and you might die. Yeah. The hostel. Yeah, exactly. I'm good. I love that. Also,
The other thing for me, and this is the last thing I want to say about this, is right now, the most important thing to me is my career. Is that how you feel right now? Absolutely. One hundred percent. Yeah, it's there's just there's so many. I do want that self-growth and there's just so many things that I want to accomplish career wise before I decide to settle down. So.
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Talking about career, look how far we've come, Al. I know. I mean, started as hostesses, now we're here. We're adults now. It's fucking crazy. Just to recap everybody, Ali and I's history, it's very interesting because we've known each other since high school. Right. Ali fucking hated me in high school and we were not friends. Loathed. And then...
We didn't become friends until later when we started working at the same restaurant. Right. I started working at the same restaurant as you. Yes. And why did you hate me in high school again? Because I was best friends with your brother. I just think, yeah, you were probably just like annoying as fuck to me because you were just at my house just in general. And you were older. Yeah. And I was just older. And I'm like, I can't even go around this. That's so fucking funny. But then our friendship blossomed at...
the sushi place called Tsunami and we were the worst hostesses of all time. If there was an award for worst hostesses, we would have gotten it. Guys, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. One time I got so blacked out on alcohol that was stolen from the restaurant. First of all, God forbid I bring my own. What?
second of all I'm drinking on the job third of all I'm not just you know drinking casually I'm like treating it like a fucking rager and getting blackout and these people came in that I was supposed to see and instead of walking them over to their table with menus and handing them each a menu individually what did I do dude the customers came in you just pointed to the table and you're like your tables over there
I'm like further to the left. The other one next to it. Okay, good. Yeah, that one. I think I got fired that night, but then like my arm. Did you get fired or did you quit? Oh, I can't remember. Because that happened multiple times too. Because they'd be like, Sophia. And then I would ask for my job back. Yeah, then the next day you show up for your shift and you're like, I'm here. And they're like, you quit last night. And you're like.
It was so fucking bad, but look how far we've come since then. I know. We've grown up. I don't know exactly what it is you do now. You've tried to explain it to me and it's just way above my pay grade and I can't understand it. It sounds pretty big. I mean, I overheard one of your work calls like yesterday or whatever day it was and I was like, dude,
Damn. This is not the bitch that used to be the lookout for me to steal sake from the hot sake machine at work. Yeah. You're that bitch no longer. No. You're not a hostess anymore. Nothing wrong with being a hostess. We're just saying we've evolved in our careers. Being a hostess was the funnest job I ever fucking had. Same. If I get fired from this one, even though I'm my own boss, I'm going back to that shit.
I'm saying we evolved but if you really think about it I'm low-key still doing the exact same shit I'm just talking about it and getting paid you get paid for it you made your lifestyle a job and I love that for you that's what the true goal is here right yes but back to you and your career um
All I know is you run a big team of people and you're killing it. If someone asks me what you do, you've explained it to me 78 times. I don't, I can't, no comprende. You're not.
You're not understanding. No. Like, what is it that you do? So I run the product development for two telemedicine companies for both men and women's health care. One's Skinsolutions.md and EnhanceMD, where I essentially oversee the products, marketing strategies, and operations. Okay. I'm going to go ahead and grab a Webster's Dictionary and just...
Fucking expand my vocabulary. Yeah. Okay. But the thing is, Ali, is I overheard you on a call with your team. Like it wasn't even that long ago. And you were straight up talking about dick.
And I was thinking to myself, what does Ali do? Why is she talking about penis on the phone? Like, I thought that was my fucking job. Oh, you mean the call about the erectile dysfunction? Is that what it was? Yes. Okay. So you, what? Like, you guys, like, sell shit for that? Yeah. So we essentially sell, like, products for men, like...
Viagra or, you know, Men's Health. Right. Like that and a bunch of other products. Dude, you must, what's the weirdest phone call you've had come in? Because I'm sure you've gotten some weird ones.
Yeah, I mean, we've had some weird ones, but let me think. I mean, one kind of sticks out to me because this wasn't an actual customer. Our customers are actually really, really good. But somehow this person got a hold of our number. But this guy called in and he's like, does this make your penis bigger? Because I already have a nine inch dick. Stop. I swear. And I was like, first of all, stop.
He did not fucking say that. He did. And he felt very comfortable saying that. So he asked if it makes his dick bigger. Yeah. Does it? I mean, it's like Viagra. I mean, I've heard it. I've heard like it does. Yeah, it definitely makes it harder. But I'm just like, OK. Does it really make it bigger? It sounded like he wanted to make it like longer. And I'm like, sir. Sir.
Sir, if you actually have nine inches, I think you're fine. Yeah. It doesn't need to be longer. What other ones have you gone? I feel like you've gone like some crazy shit. Yeah. For the, for like the women's website, we're like huge on selling Latisse. There was one woman, like she called us, her husband was yelling at her in the background. Like I could hear him being like, you need to come out here. There was a tornado happening and she was trying to,
to call us to place her order for Latisse. And I'm like, ma'am, your lashes are going to be okay. Wait, hold on. An actual tornado was happening? Yes. And her husband is in the background saying there's a tornado. Yes, like you need to get in here because a tornado is going. And she's like, I need to get my Latisse order in right now.
You're like hurrying and typing, trying to get her order in so she doesn't fucking die. Yeah, I'm just like, what's the priorities here? But I love it. That is some like self-love, self-care type of shit. Next level. She can't. She wants to make sure she's looking beautiful in that fucking twister. And I applaud her for it. So, OK, you are a project or product manager. I kind of do it all.
You started off as a customer service rep there, did you not? I did. So that's a huge jump. Tell us like about your whole journey because I think a lot of people, especially who listen to this show, are trying to get a job or are in jobs they don't like or like trying to figure it out. Like how did you get this position? I mean, starting from a customer service rep. Also, you don't have a college degree, right?
Right. So I went to college, but I decided it wasn't for me. And I already knew that, like, graduating from high school. Like, this is not for me. So what I did do is I went to medical aesthetics school in Utah. But those laws are different than they are in California. And I moved...
after to San Diego when I did my schooling. Okay. So after that, I got a customer service, like just random customer service job for a like domain registrar, which is where you essentially go to create a website, right? Buy a website name. Where someone bought Sophia Franklin.com. They fucking gobbled it up and I had to pay them directly. And I was so annoyed.
You were so annoyed. And you actually called me to be like, how do I go about getting this name back?
It's dude, it's such a smart business move. It is. I don't know why I don't do that. Like if you think of a word or a phrase or see a person that you know is like going to do something, be something, whatever, hurry and buy the domain. Yeah, because people reach out to you and try to buy it for you, like from you. Yeah. Like thousands of dollars, essentially. Right. You charge him that. I mean, he gave me a number and I was like, OK, OK.
I hate you, but, but you needed it, right? I needed it. So, and it was, he's actually nice. We actually DM, we actually made a relationship. So thank you, sir. Thank you. But okay. Sorry. Back to your story. So after that, I was like, okay, this job really isn't for me. I kind of wanted to go back into what I love, which is like skincare. So I found a job that I'm currently working at now. Um,
Where did you find it? Just on Indeed. Okay. And it was a customer service job for like a website company for skincare products. Okay. So I was like, wait, this is essentially both aspects, right? Customer service, which I've already done. And then also having to work with skincare. Like this is essentially putting all of those. Because you went to the cosmetology school. Right, right. So it's like a blend of both.
this job and now i am the product manager wow i mean i i have worked in customer service too but i had to do like cold calls yeah and try to sell people like fucking internet and like tv shit no i was like you know when you get a spam call and someone's trying to tell you something and you tell them to fuck off i was that person yeah it was the worst job in the entire world but
People will do that and stay in that for years. Yeah. And here you are, though. You have this, you know, huge title and without a college degree. Like as long as you apply yourself, I think anyone can do anything. College degrees are bullshit, people. Yeah.
Just kidding, if you're in college, no, they're not bullshit. I think they can help and they can be really beneficial in a lot of ways. But if you don't have one, that should not limit you ever.
There's different routes to be successful. There's no one way. People think it's high school, college, and blah, blah, blah. It's like, no. And also, people think that they are going to start a job and it's going to be the most amazing, fancy, blah, blah, blah. You have to work your way up in the world, people. Yeah, it's not an end-all, be-all type situation. No. And also...
You worked in customer service for the domain registry and that helped you get to where you are. Like it's not a waste of time if you're doing that. Like you take parts from each job that you have and you just apply that to every day in your work. Yes.
Just have a job, people. Just have a job, even if you feel like it's beneath you, even if you feel like it's dumb and it's like you're not learning anything. Anything that you can put on your resume, any type of learning, any type of job...
is contributing to your future. - Right, to something. - You know, 'cause I know a lot of people who sit on the couch and it's like, why don't you have a job? And I get that, you know, it's hard to get a job, but also they will say things like, I'm not fucking gonna be like doing that, or I'm not gonna be like, they try to act like there's certain things that are below them. No. - No, not at all. - There's nothing below you.
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Please tell me like what one of the worst interviews you've ever done was. I mean, I've had a lot, but there was one. So I don't know. I just have this thing while I have interviews. I always ask one random ass question in the middle of the interview to like throw them off. Okay. Wait, this is good to know. Which is? If you were to be an animal, what animal would you be?
Allie, you do not randomly ask that. I do, like right in the middle. I'm like, okay, can you tell me about your strengths and weaknesses? And then that was like a really hard question for someone. I don't know why. If I can give anyone advice, please be prepared for that question. Your strengths and weaknesses. Yes, like, hello. And if you say that you don't have a weakness, I'm done listening to you. Yeah. Because you can even say like,
Oh, my weakness is that I'm super organized. But I feel like when people I feel that's why people have a hard time with that question is because I hate answering like that. My weakness is that I'm just a little bit of a perfectionist and I have a hard time like letting things go or whatever and spend too much time on shit.
Isn't that like an annoying thing to hear? Okay, well, what is a more annoying thing to hear is when you're like, okay, what is your strength? And someone says, I can talk anyone into buying anything. And I'm like, okay, how about I'm not going to buy into hiring you as an employee? Like, take that. Wait, you don't like that response? Absolutely not. Wait, why? I don't know. Like, that just seems like very cocky to me. And I'm like, okay.
Wait. This is not how it's going to happen here. You're not impressing me, buddy. No. I was getting Wolf of Wall Street vibes. No. Like, okay, sell me this pen. Yeah. Do you remember that scene? I do remember that scene. But then if you're trying to sell yourself, like you're doing a horrible job at it. So that's something you don't like them answering. What's a good answer? Personal. Works well with others. I know. It's like so easy. It's so easy.
guys fucking google interview questions and answers oh here's another thing that i hate have you looked into like what we do here like what our company is about and they haven't done their research they're like oh what company is this for okay you're out i i'm still like fixated on the fact that you asked them what animal you would be in the middle yeah well what is that for it's just to throw them off
And to make them kind of feel more comfortable. Yeah, to make them like feel comfortable. And then they're like, oh, wait, that's actually a really good question that I wasn't prepared for. And then it can turn into more of like a conversation piece. And you can get to know like who they are as a person. And for some reason, I think that the best answer I've gotten was an elephant. They remember stuff.
Whatever bitch thought of that animal and was that quick on their feet. Exactly. She's good. And whoever said dragon...
I've gotten that answer. You can go fuck yourself. She said dragon. Girl, you know dragons don't exist, right? Wait, I'm trying to think of what fucking animal I would say. I don't even know. Well, think on your feet. What would you be? I would be a cheetah because they move fast and get shit done quickly. Ooh, that was pretty good. Okay, so those are some great tips. Can you give us like...
the inside scoop on let's say like we're already hired can you give us the inside scoop on how to get out of work like bitch i'm not gonna fucking give why no i'm not going to do that your whole team is listening like taking down notes how to get out of work yeah exactly like all i can say is there are only so many grandmas that can die like that's all i'm gonna say
Cut that out. You can only do the grandma card once. Yes. Wait, I need to know this because this has always been a thing I was scared of is if someone says, gives you a doctor's note or says the grandma died or whatever, will you go and look at their Instagram story? Yeah.
Well, for what? To make sure the grandma died? Like, are you at the funeral? Like, are you at Coachella or at your grandma's funeral? No, but I mean, I have like a really good relationship with the girls on my team or not. I have guys and girls on my team. So, I mean, no. Okay. I won't look into it because they'll be like, I'm going to Vegas. And I'm like, girl, have fun. Post those stories. Yeah.
I love that. Yeah. Okay, fine. So you won't tell us how to get out of work because you are the manager and that probably wouldn't be good. But hypothetically speaking, let's just play what if. Okay. Okay. What if I went to you with a doctor's note that said I had a flesh eating bacteria on my pussy? Would that be a good enough reason to get out of work?
Yeah, because I know you have already done this before in your past job. Absolutely. I would have no questions about it. Please. So that's a doctor's note that would work. If people out there want to use it, sure. God.
I literally use this at my last job. The doctor's note was like thrust upon me. Like it wasn't like if I had my choice of all the fucking doctor's notes, I would present to my boss. I would
choose MRSA, M-R-S-A acronym short for some type of flesh eating bacteria. The doctor that like I finagle to write me a note, like it was in his hands. He decided to say that. And then what happened, you guys, is when I was telling my boss about it, she asked to see it.
She wanted to see what it looks like I feel like I would have done the same thing though You would have to try to catch me I'm just so nosy Can I see this flesh eating virus on you So then I had to lie and say it was on my vagina Okay that's when I would be like you're good here girl Exactly it was actually really smart on my part but like
I tried to say I cut myself with a razor and then it got infected and then she asked to see it and then I was like, oh, it's on my pussy. Do you still want to see it? She did not ask to see it any further. I know exactly. Okay, so that's my little Mercer story. I've told it before. Al, what do you look for when you're hiring? I think people would love to know that. People out here trying to get a job. Yeah, well, A, show up for the interview. No.
Honestly, please. Like I'm conducting this interview over Zoom. You're telling me the date and the time to come. Like just show up. It's not that hard. Okay. That's a really fucking good one. Show up to the interview. What's another one? Number two would be brush your hair.
It's like, what the hell? Okay. Three. If you want a third one, here we go. Um, how about you don't come in straight to the interview asking if you have PTO hours like that? Someone really do that. It's like before any questions get started, it's like, okay, what's the pay time off? Like on the first interview, like, don't worry about it. Cause you're not getting hired. Yeah.
Okay, well, those are four amazing tips on what not to fucking do, you guys. Your job seems super fucking fun. Like all the new products and stuff that you get to try. Right. The eye drops that we're using right now. What is it? Upne? Yeah, it's called Upne. Yeah. Hi, I'm like looking at you right now. I always look like I have naturally big eyes. I always look like a deer in headlights. And now it's like...
times 10 yeah it's amazing we've seen this all over tiktok right like you've seen those videos it genuinely makes your eyes fucking huge and like it's just so smart to have in case you are hung over or like you didn't sleep yeah like i look like i've slept for four days and it's been four hours exactly yeah
But what's the company that you work for called? So the company I work for is Skinsolutions.md. And you guys are the only place where you can get these shits online. Yes. This is the only place that you can get this online. These things are fucking lethal, you guys. Like they... And they just make you look hotter. I know, they do. I mean, I don't know if you guys can tell in the camera because we are a little bit far away. But like just...
I look hot as fuck. That's all I'm going to say. Okay. I want to do a little segue and move on. And I, I want to talk about your little collection that you have on your notes app. Oh, because it is fucking fascinating. This bitch has a list for every single one of your friends, what their pet peeves are. Yes. How,
many lists you have. I want to say I have over like 25 of my friends. Stop. Yes. In this list. Over 25. Yes. They will text me just to tell me what their pet peeve is so I can add it to the list. Okay. You are such a weirdo, Allie. Why out of all the things you want to know about your friends, that's what you want to know? I just think it's so funny because usually what they're telling me is their pet peeves. Like it's what they do.
- Okay, so what are mine? - Yeah, okay, I was looking at yours the other day. Like the one thing I saw on there was people having no concept of time. You are the worst. - No, not how? - How? Like we had a dinner reservation a couple of nights ago and we are two hours late.
The restaurant was closed. Okay. And was that my fault? Yeah, it was your fault. It was 12. No. Okay. Tell me another one because I don't agree with that one. Okay. Let me pull this up. Hold on. Okay. So, oh my gosh. This one, the next one on your list, slow talkers. No. Yes. I would never.
I would not say that, Allie. I swear to God, this is on your list. There's no fucking way. I said, I'm the slowest talker I know. There's no way. This is exactly why I have it. It says slow walkers. No, it says slow walkers and talkers.
So basically I just My entire life Is just one big projection And like I don't take accountability For anything And I just like Everything I hate about myself I say is a pet peeve of mine Yeah exactly What's another one? Snoring Is on your list Allie You snore Allie You snore I've been with you
And you've been snoring No this is how I know Now you're lying Okay I don't snore Okay you know what Let me back up Okay I am a mouth breather You do You're a mouth breather I sleep with my mouth open It's so disgusting It's so ugly and hideous And I wish I didn't And it's something I hate about myself But
I don't snore. I'm a mouth breather. You're a mouth breather. And I would know this because I don't sleep. Yes. I'm talking snoring. Like I have dated dudes before where I have to take two bars of Xanax. And you're like,
In order to like sleep next to them And that's the type of snoring I'm talking about Oh yeah I mean I've broken up with someone Because they've snored too much Right? Yes It's a thing I can't handle it It's a You cannot date that person No You're never gonna sleep So how the fuck are we gonna date? No Like it just It doesn't fucking work It doesn't work And I do not snore like that And I kind of think this list Might be bullshit Ally are you lying? It's not I'm not lying The list does not lie Okay
I'm
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Okay, let's move on and get into SOS, save our sleuths, questions, stories, advice. Allie, get ready to answer some of these, okay? I'm excited. Let's fucking go. Number one, is it fucked up that I expect gifts regularly from my boyfriend? Like it doesn't have to be a big gift, but like flowers or candy or a cute shirt like once a month.
Okay. I don't think that that's fucked up to expect that regularly at all. I don't think so either. It's not like this bitch is saying, I expect a Chanel bag once a month. She said flowers will do. Yeah. I mean, okay. Also, we can talk about this too. People have different love languages. Mm.
I mean, gifts isn't one of my love languages, though. That's not one of mine either. Shocker. I know everyone. Yes. But my ex who I did date, that was kind of I'm not saying that that was his like love language, but that is definitely something that he like a way that he showed his love. Oh, OK. And it is kind of nice, like having like just showing up to an Amazon package or whatever. Yeah. Oh, wow. He thought of me in like black.
purchase these random socks for me like because he was just thinking about me. I love it. I don't think that's bad to like want. No. And it's she's saying once a month. Yeah. She's not like every day. No. Like a new gift. No. I do just sending flowers for no reason. Like I had the guy I'm kind of dating kind of not. We'll get into that one day. He sent me
flowers and the card just said just because. Yeah, I love that. That's so cute. Or even just like a sticky note. Yes. Like, hi, love you. Yes. I don't know. Just something like that. It just shows.
I totally agree. I think, girl, you are not. It is not fucked up whatsoever. Hey, Ali, I'm going to have you read this one. OK, hold on this. OK, I don't know if this is really a question, but it says Sophia Franklin fucked my brother that I need to know because usually I've I mean, I would know like who you've hooked up with. Right.
I just had a sip of my rosé because I'm so fucking taken back. Tell me you're not going down the list right now thinking about who it is. Oh, I haven't. I'm like thinking like, okay, who is this? Right. Like, who is this girl? Like type, like writing this in. And what did your brother say about it? I need to know. One through 10. Was it a good time or not? Please. It probably was.
It probably was not. And that's why this girl stayed anonymous and like did not elaborate because it was not a good time. Girl, if you're going to write this in, you better come correct. And you better have your info so I can ask you more questions about it. And you better elaborate, okay?
Goddamn. Okay. Next question. Hey, Sophia, what would you do if your boyfriend who says he loves you takes the top of a plastic bin and hits you with it?
I stayed and fought him like a loser. I just kept saying to myself, Sophia wouldn't put up with this. Why am I? And how am I recovering? I don't... Okay, let's just first say we do not condone any type of physical interaction with your partner. We don't. But have we all been there though? Yes, we have, right? But I don't know why the visual of the plastic bin, I need to know how big it was. Like...
The fact that she's so specific. Like, what would you do if your boyfriend hit you over the head with the top of a plastic bin?
But she also says that she stayed and fought and I probably would have done the same thing. Like, no. Oh, yeah. She says Sophia wouldn't put up with this bitch. I would have stayed and fought too. I would have grabbed the top of the fucking whatever else there was. Oh, no. You would have taken the bottom of the bin. Yes. Set it right on top of his head and crushed him. I know. Like sometimes jokes like, but I mean, everyone has been in a relationship where it's gotten physical, right? Yeah.
I don't think everyone has. I'm going to be honest. Like that's not healthy. Okay. I love how I say everyone. Everyone? No. I love to generalize. But how do you recover from this? It depends. It depends who won. You're like, okay, so who won the WWE match? That's how I'm picturing it. Like her jumping onto the counter and then like taking a chair and like smashing it on top of him.
Girl, you know what? As funny as this sounds, because I think Ali and I are just laughing through our own pain and our own trauma when we've dealt with like abuse that's been physical, probably. The PTSD. You really should never deal with this shit ever. And I would just let him know that it is never fucking okay to touch you in any way, shape or form. Um,
Out of anger or whatever it is. And if it happens again, it's the last time. And he would be completely done. Yeah. Usually it just escalates from there. Exactly. That's how these things go. It's like once it happens, they feel like they can keep doing it. Right. Or even get more intense. So...
I would, I mean, you might want to break up with him just right off the bat. But if you're not ready for that, I would make it very fucking clear. He is never allowed to do that. And if it happens again, girl, you need to get the fuck out. I agree. Okay, next.
Hi, can you talk about in detail how you slowly follow your period tracker without being on a birth control pill? I feel like there is a misconception that you can get pregnant any time of the month with the pull-out method. Can you please talk about pre-cum and pull-out method? Okay. Allie, are you on the pill? No, I'm not. You're not? No. So do you just do the pull-out method? Yes. Okay. I mean...
well you don't do the come inside no i mean i'm not pregnant so there's definitely that like it's either the pull out or he's pulling right in and coming inside yeah no definitely not um this is kind of a hard one okay this is i get scared to answer this question i've been asked it a lot because
People say the pullout method is just such a gamble and it's so stupid and you should never risk that. But honestly, it is a form of birth control, the pullout method mixed with knowing what time of the month it is and if you're fertile. Right, if you're ovulating, right? Yes. So like if it is a few days leading up to my period, if it's during my period or if it's a few days after my period,
I'm in the safe zone. Like I am going to get in so much fucking trouble. I will even sometimes just let him come in me. And then the rest of the days it's pull out. He has to pull out. Okay. Am I saying you are 100% protected using this? Fuck no. Hell no. Absolutely not. No, but I will say I've been doing this for the past. I,
I don't know, four years and I have not gotten pregnant. Right. Well, I had a girlfriend of mine. She was on the pill. And right after she thought she was like, okay, this is going to take a few months for me to like, I don't know, like...
get pregnant, right? 'Cause it's kind of still in your system. No, she got pregnant like the next day. - She immediately got pregnant. - Yeah, so it's such a gamble. - It is, and it's different for everyone, but if you really think about it, the reason I get shit on sometimes for promoting the pullout method and just using the period tracker is because people say like that's not safe at all, but if you really look at the statistics,
The birth control pill, condoms, whatever type of contraceptive you're using, none of them are 100%. Okay? None of them are 100%. It's always a risk anytime you fuck. Only thing that's 100%? Celibacy. That is the only one. Just do not have sex. Precum, she wants me to elaborate on that. Precum can get you pregnant, right? Yeah, it can. Yeah.
They're just wipe it off. Tell him to wash his dick if he pre-came. Suck it off. I don't know. I feel like it's I don't know. I just I don't think bitches are really out here getting pregnant by pre-cum a lot. I think it can maybe happen, but I don't think that's like, you know. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was it was that fucking pre-cum that got me pregnant. Exactly. I don't know. I believe it. Okay.
Okay, Ali, what a beautiful note to end on. Thank you so much for coming on. I know I had to drag you to the mic. Thank you. I love you so much, Ali. Where can they find you? You can find me at Ali Asmar on Instagram and on TikTok. Okay. That's A-L-I-A-Z-E-M-A-R. Okay, amazing. And you can find me at Sophia with an S.
Franklin with a Y on all social media platforms. Oh, except my TikTok is my name, Sophia Franklin and the number zero. I need to remember to say that. And guys, as always, if you...
enjoy the show if you could please share it with friends family the fucking garbage man I don't care who it is if you share an episode or a clip with someone it helps me so so so much to keep doing the show and with that slutes I will talk to you next week bye bye
