72: Free Bitcoin ft. John 56:51

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Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. Sophia with an F. We are in Soho right now. Soho. Not sure if you guys have heard of it. It's kind of a trendy, upscale, amazing fucking place. I sound so annoying. We are WTF Media Studios. The best studio I've ever recorded in. Ever, ever, ever, ever. Right? Yeah.

Am I allowed to come in? No.

I should be... You know what? As a professional, I should introduce my guests. That's what I should be doing. I haven't yet. Just talk about how cool the studio is. I love the studio, though. Like, I do love the studio. I've actually never been in a studio before, but... Ever. Okay, this is your first time. But I think this is... I mean, it's going to be tough to beat. Tough to fucking beat. I don't know what else is out there, but it's going to be tough. Very upscale. But it's beautiful. Guys...

I am here with the one, the only, my best friend, John Like the Bible. Hi, John. Hello. Hello. I'm back. Finally, 53 episodes later. Has it been that long? That's how long it took you to move here.

53 episodes it took? It took 53 episodes. Wow. Okay. Well, John has been a frequent guest. I almost introduced you as my gay best friend, John. Okay. Why didn't you? I'm offended that you didn't. Because, and everyone listen the fuck up, in this social climate, the whole...

This is my gay best friend thing is like an issue now. Yeah. And as a gay man, I like want to ask you, like, what do you think about that whole thing? No, like I have seen it be an issue, which is like kind of interesting to see it. It's an issue because I typically see the people that are voicing that opinion are straight people.

That is very interesting. I am your gay best friend. I don't know if a lot of, I don't know if we care. I honestly don't know if we care. And by we, you mean what? The gay community? I don't know if the gays care. I mean, I guess it depends. But like, I don't, I don't care. I mean, what is...

Like if you were to call me like my faggot friend or like my faggot best friend, I'd be like, okay, girl, like, whoa. Exactly. That's completely derogatory and like would never come out of my mouth. Exactly. But like, I feel like it's done with good intentions. It's not like it's, it's like an identifier and identifiers are kind of like weird. Well, especially now. Because if you use them for like race, like that can get like weird. Yes. But like, I didn't, I don't know. I didn't, I don't think it's a big deal. And I think it's different because I didn't, I didn't,

It's not something that I chose. I didn't choose to be gay. So it's just it's natural for me. It's just who I am. And I'm so comfortable with myself and my sexuality. Right. That maybe I just don't give a shit. That could be what it is. Right. Do you think maybe it's straight people trying to make it seem like it's a bad thing? Or maybe it's people who are not as comfortable with their sexuality that

they think that's why it's fucked up? It could be. It could be because they're protective. I have gay friends and I don't have, I don't know one of them that's like, I hate when my friends call me gay best friend. Right. So I don't have one. But what I do see, when I do see it, it is the straight people, especially with like queer baiting too. Well,

Well, that's a whole different thing. Let's talk about that. What is queer baiting? Okay. Okay. So queer baiting is basically when you are trying to do something out of, I guess, your intentions are to get a gay audience. There is like so...

something so wholesome and real about a gay audience like they are really really loyal people yeah you think about the Brittany fans the Lana fans that we all have I'm a Lana gay by the way but that's besides the point wait wait wait wait wait hold the fuck up what are they are there Gaga gays and Lana gay fans

Welcome to reality. Wait, what? Oh, you were one or the other. You're one or the other. Okay, we got a Lana gay. Oh my God, I'm freaking out. Which, honestly, they kind of see as tragic. The Lana gays are not heroin. She kind of sad. We got the Britney gays, usually older men.

We've got the Gaga fans. I love Gaga, so I don't know. I'm kind of in between there. But they're just really energetic. What about Lil Nas X? What type of community is that? No. It doesn't work. Sorry. What? He's a guy. It doesn't work like that. Oh, it's only female artists. Yeah. Hi. We're gay. We

We love our women and we love them right. Okay. And that's why we're so loyal. So getting back to the queer baiting. So basically when somebody tries to put on a show to try to gain a loyal gay or LGBTQIA plus community because they're so loyal.

Uh-huh. And, like, let's say, for an example, I weren't your best friend. Like, if people were to find out, like, oh, like, they're not actually not really friends. She's just bringing him on because... I see what you're saying. Because he's gay and she's trying to get the gay audience. Okay. But, like, since you have a gay best friend... Me...

Then you can. Right. It's people pretending to be affiliated or be into the LGBTQ plus community just to gain followers, fans, whatever it is. And like TV shows will get in trouble for it. Movies. You think about all these different industries, but like it's it's mostly like, yes, like social media. Like there's a lot of a lot of celebrities. Like who? I mean, like Demi Lovato before. She got in trouble for that. Before she jumped. I don't know.

Wait, didn't she? I just feel like she took a left turn somewhere. I lost her. I love her music. What do you mean she jumped? Like, I just feel like, I don't know. Well, where's her album? Why are we not focusing on music? That's what I want to know. I know I love Rihanna. I really do. Me too. But bitch, get in there.

I'm in a recording studio. I've never fucking been here before. It's a nice place. Are you saying Rihanna should be recording right now? She should be... Yeah, I'm ready for her album. She's pregnant. I don't care, dude. She can sing. Dude, she can sing. See, this is... Okay, the queer baiting, whatever. This is me as a female sitting here telling you to...

zip the lips. Okay, sorry. You've never been pregnant before? We cannot tell someone to get in the studio. You can't sing when you're pregnant? I get it when you can't do a jumping jack, but you can't sing? Yeah, we're pissed. She's also, there's something so enchanting about her. Yeah, she's a Pisces.

Okay, John, you cannot keep referring to these astrology signs as if like everyone knows what the fuck we're talking about. She's a badass bitch. But back to what we originally were talking about. If I...

and like referring to you as this is my gay best friend, John. Yeah. That does not offend you in any way, shape or form. No, I actually like I think it's endearing, but also in a way I also look at it in a weird sense to like I think of it as like maybe you're being a little bit protective. So like when my friends say that, I'm like, OK, maybe they're saying that to it's typically to a man when they're like, oh, it's my gay best friend. Yes.

And it's really to feel out the energy to find out if they're homophobic or if there's gonna be an issue. - Oh, okay. - So that's where I get the sense of and I feel that it's endearing and I feel that has my back and I don't think that is bad to say that because I'd rather know now if I'm gonna get-- - Have issues tonight. - If I'm gonna get hit, I wanna know. - Anytime I refer to you as my gay best friend, I can only think of one time

And it's one thing and it's every single time. And it's when a single straight dude is like, come out for the night, bring your girlfriends, let's go hard. And I say, I want to bring my guy friend. And I feel this pressure to say gay best friend because as a straight male asking me and my single girlfriends to go out, it's,

They don't want to hear, hey, I'm also bringing a dude with me. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Because I also... I wouldn't have been able to get into a couple of frat parties that I was able to get into because I was friends with girls that would be like, oh my God, my gay best friend. So I think it's a way to just kind of maybe...

protect me, but also protect the moment, maybe just make sure everything's good. I don't ever look at it as like a negative. - I think what it really comes down to, and this is like, I'm having an aha moment is,

protecting the fragile straight male ego. - Oh yeah, let's really protect it because it has to be protected. It's so fragile. - No, I really think that's what it is. - Oh my God, give me a break. - We have to point out, no, but he's gay. You have nothing to worry about. There are jealousy issues, like all of that shit. - They're weird, men are weird. I'm sorry, but like they're a whole different vibe. They are a whole different vibe.

- They are. - No offense, but I'm happy that I have some as friends and that I don't really have to fuck with them if I don't want to. - I love that. I fucking love that. Anyways, okay, so you're fine with the gay best friend label. - Obviously. - We've been best friends for so long.

We're finally in New York together, John. - Yeah, hi. I'm on my second apartment now. Like we decided to move here together. I was like, we're moving back in December. It was just me. - Just you? - Waited a whole year. - I was like, I will be right behind you, don't you worry. It took another year and a half. You were legitimately pissed at me about it.

well, cause I'm like, come on girl. It's been a year. Like, are you moving here or not? Like at a point I was like, why the fuck did I move here? But now I'm here. You're here. You live in New York. I live. Yep.

Let's talk about it. It's been an interesting transition. I feel like I've definitely gotten to know myself a little bit more. I love that. I feel like Salt Lake was so toxic for me to be in. I'll be completely honest. Really? Why? I just feel like it's not a good place for young people.

Just maybe... I don't know. Maybe it's because I have ADHD. I don't know what it is. But like... But like it just... Utah is not good for ADHD, people. I was so bored. And I was just kind of getting into trouble. And by trouble, I just mean like I was...

I was very unhappy and doing things that probably weren't for best for my mental health. Healthy. Yeah, exactly. So I feel like it's been a great move in that sense. But it's been hard. You know, my job is just kind of crazy. Right. What about your living situation? I'm living in a shoebox.

Way tiny. It's an alcove studio. What does that mean? Alcove? It means like there are no doors besides your bathroom. Okay, it's just one open space. Okay, so you come into my apartment. My bedroom, the little carve out with no window. I have one window, by the way. Yeah. You come right in. My bed's right there. It's a long hallway. There's a kitchen with a chandelier.

It hits my head. And then it's just basically like one room with a window. It's one. Like you guys, it's the window that's killing me. I feel that to a certain level because I used to when I was doing my show for my mom's basement, it was a room with no windows and I would be in there for two days straight. It's a little depressing. It's crazy. You like you come out.

out of the room and it's either light or dark and you lose sense of time and it's fucked up. I don't really love living there and I signed a two and a half year lease. What? Dude, I know. Okay, well, well, well, well. Trust me, I'm like, I'm trying to figure it out. Okay, this is the thing, John. How does one break lease soon? That's a good question.

That's so interesting that you would pretend to say that because John Asmar and Sophia Franklin, the two of us are queens and kings of breaking a fucking lease. So I don't know why you're trying to pretend like you're worried about breaking that two and a half year lease. Have I? I've never broken a lease. I've never broken a lease. You are.

You are the one verbatim when I was freaking the fuck out at this apartment. You told me verbatim leases are meant to be broken. I think that's what you said to me. You know, that must have been a mood. I don't know what I must have just been like on. OK, well, I don't know what you were on, but it's true. Wow. I give really good advice. You do. OK, I'll take it.

Anyone listening, you can get out of whatever the fuck you want in this life. I'm sorry. I know it's fucked up to say you can get out of a lease. We have all the tips. Yeah, like I'll do whatever. I mean... Say you have a stalker, file a police report. I'll fuck whoever. Fuck someone.

Anything. I have one window and my mental health is deteriorating and I might file a lawsuit against, you know, this building. There's a lot of ways. And that doesn't sound good to say out loud now that I just heard myself. So I think we're going to like move on to something else. Okay, sounds good. ♪

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your cash back really adds up. Before we jump in, 'cause I have so many things to talk about, John does not have a referral for you to get on Raya. - You guys, I do not have a referral

- And do you wanna know why? - Let's start from the top. - Okay. - We did an episode. - Episode 19. - We talked about dating apps and we talked about Raya specifically. - I mean, the episode was called Free Raya Pass. So like, I think you fucked me there, but also,

I was way too generous. I was like, I'll give out Raya like passes because I'm on Ryan. I don't really care. So I gave out all of these passes to just like your fans. Right. You said I'll give my referral passes to everyone. I swear there was a limit. Like I swear. I was like, why does this keep letting me go? Like it just keeps letting me give out passes. And so I was giving out passes. I probably got to like, I don't know, maybe seven to nine. And yeah,

All of a sudden I go back to give another pass and it says you have been permanently banned. And that was on the day one that the podcast came out. I have had thousands of DMS. I get probably, I would say one to two DMS a day.

And it's been 53 episodes since that's been a year. It's been a year. And John is still getting DMs from people asking for a referral to get on Raya. The funniest part is that I told them to email. I was like, email them and just ask like, you know, what do I need to do to get on here? I think they may have said my name. Like John from Sophia with an F said...

I don't know. Regardless, I am fully permanently banned. So if you even mention my name, you're fucked. You're fucked. You're not going to get on there. If you mentioned John Joseph's name, Sophia Franklin, Sophia with an F, you're not getting let on to Raya because we are 86.

from the entire Raya community. So Raya Dunn, sorry guys. We'll try to figure out another way to get you on, but it's not through John. It's not through me. It's not through Sophia the Neff. We'll strategize and come back. Some advice, don't use my name. Don't use our names. I want to talk about, John, your Instagram being hacked. Like...

Like I've had three extremely close friends in the span of one week getting fucked on Instagram. - Well, okay. So what happened was this girl DM me and I know her, we went to high school with her, shout out Lexi Wong.

Anyway, so she DMs me and she goes, hey, John, how have you been? It's like starting a conversation. I'm like, oh, yeah, pretty good. You know, I'm doing well. Like, how are you? She's like, hey, like, I'm so sorry to ask you this, but my Instagram got hacked and I can't send myself the code.

So can I use your phone number to send myself the code or can I send the code to you and you can take a screenshot and send it to me? And I was just like, yeah, girly. Send it over, Red Rova. Fucking right as soon as I clicked send, like as soon as I hit send, I was like, oh my God, what did I do? Like I knew it. I knew it. I was just like,

I was way too stoned. Let me just reiterate this. Your friend from high school DMs you. You weren't that close, but still like it's an acquaintance from high school. I was definitely. And you were high. Yeah. Off marijuana. And she says she DMs you. My profile was hacked. I'm going to send you the code because my phone isn't working or whatever. Send it back to me. Yeah. But the code wasn't a code. I realized after I sent it. Oh, it was a fucking link. Oh,

To reset my fucking Instagram password. No, that's what it was. That's what it was. The craziest thing, dude, is how I got it back.

Well, okay. Yeah. Like that's not. So first of all, if someone DMs you, especially if they're not your closest friend and it's a friend you had in high school asking you to help, help them get back their hacked account. And you're like, Hey, I haven't talked to you in a few years. Like since high school, that's a red flag. Never come back.

click on a fucking link second of all what did they start doing on your account they started posting bitcoin they were like bitcoin bitcoin bitcoin like come get your bitcoin everybody and i'm like i work in finance i'm not a financial advisor like i cannot give financial advice right so um but also just all of a sudden your profile turned into yo bitcoin

Like one of those LA people, like you're going to make a million a day. Like I had probably like, I don't know, like close to 20 people like text me or like call me and be like, Hey, uh, did your Instagram get hacked? I'm like, no bitch. I'm just giving out fucking Bitcoin now.

Like, fuck my job. I'm giving out Bitcoin. Everybody get a Bitcoin. All of a sudden your profile went from John to, hey guys, you want to make a shit ton of money? Invest in Bitcoin. I've got you the metaverse. New fucking, it's a new age. Get this Bitcoin. And on top of it, I remember I screenshotted and guys, I will post these. I screenshotted what it was.

This story tagged this random profile and it was like, reach out to this person to get your Bitcoin or whatever. Her name was like Lisa. Some bullshit like that. Yes. Regardless, they took advantage of my generosity. Your generosity? You mean your stupidity on clicking the link? Let's be real. John, let's be honest. Call it what you want. Okay. We don't have to put a label on everything.

Anyway, so they took advantage of my generosity and then they made me seem like a giant douchebag selling Bitcoin who was, I guess, in affiliation with someone named Lisa.

And then they tried to blackmail me. Well, okay. What did they say? They were like, I will give you back your account if you give me $500. And what did you say? Go fuck off. Like, it's my account. Dude, I got it back that night. Call me 007. I don't know. You got it back that night. Spiky senses. You did get it back that night. But because this is Sophia the Neff and we are so honest and open. Okay. You did have communication with another rando who said...

for 30 bucks or something. - Oh my God. - I'll give you your account back. - Dude, I fucking forgot about that part. - Okay, so let's talk about that. - Oh my God. - So let's not pretend like it was just easy street. - Wait, why did I forget about that part? - Yeah. - Dude, okay, so what happened was I took it to Twitter. I said something like, my thing has been hacked. Like my Instagram was hacked, like I'm so fucking annoyed.

I have 12 followers. So I had like literally, I had probably like, I would say maybe like seven, eight responses being like, I can help you get your profile back, bro. Wow. Just DM me, just DM me. So I was like DMing them on like this other Instagram with no followers that I just made up. And I was like, hey, how can you help me? They're like, okay, so you just have to Venmo me like 500 or like $1,000. And you did Venmo someone, didn't you? Bitch, no.

No. Okay, thank God. Fuck no. I was like, oh my God, like, are you kidding me? This is another scheme. I was so close to doing, I was very, I was very close to doing it.

Yes. You were very close. I remember for one of them, you were about, you were like, should I Venmo them the money? And I had to be like, John, are you fucking kidding me? Like you just got scammed. We're not doing this again. So yeah. So, but anyway, I didn't do that. Thank God. But what I did end up doing is I, and I woke up early.

because I kept trying to get into my profile. She kept throwing me out. You had to hurry and log in because if they are on, they'll just throw you off. - Oh, if the person is logged in. So you had to catch them when they were asleep for two seconds. - Exactly. So I think I caught her when she was sleeping.

This Lisa chick. And I get up and I just go run straight to my computer. It's probably like, I would say 8am Eastern standard time. If that bitch is in West, we don't know where the fuck she is. She is in La La Land. She is sleeping. So I get on my computer. I hurry. I log in and I was like, what do I do? What do I do? Okay. Hurry and get my phone. I'm like, Oh my God. Okay. Okay. So I'm like freaking out having a panic attack.

finally get in and I like had to scroll to the bottom. I go to mess. It's like message center or like face meta center. Okay. Like Facebook. Got it. That's what they are now. Meta. Yeah. Mark. So anyway, so I, you had to click on the meta center and these bubbles pop up and there are like seven bubbles. I'm in one of the bubbles. Lexi Wong from high school is one of the bubbles. And there are all these strangers in,

These are all hacked profiles. This person has linked me. I'm in. No way. I am in like a bunch. I'm in, I'm literally in a pyramid scheme. I'm like in a pyramid. Oh my God. So a bunch of profiles showed up that had been hacked by the same person. The girl that had hacked me. Her.

Her profile was in that center and it was just these bubbles. And so was mine. And I had to remove myself. And then I like just I deleted the fucking Bitcoin picture. Thank God. Thank God. I don't I don't know shit about Bitcoin. That was the funniest part about it is all of a sudden John being like, everybody get your Bitcoin like fucking Coinbase. Like, let's go.

Right. Yeah. Like, I might work in finance, but I do not. No. Which, you know, brings me to my next point is finance. You're still working in finance. Right. How is that going? I love finance.

No, I am the girl from Devil Wears Prada every single day. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. So you just say it to yourself repeatedly so maybe you can like believe it type thing. I'm just going to say that here. Is that what that's what I say to myself? But I do say other things to myself as well. Okay. So that was that was called sarcasm for anyone who didn't catch on. You don't feel like it's your main purpose in life. You don't feel like you are in tune with the universe and doing what you were meant to do.

I feel like I'm probably doing the exact opposite of what I'm trying. I don't even know how I fell into this. I don't know how I fell into finance. I mean, I was into it. I know. I was so bad at math. I think where it gets you is that they do pay.

And I think the reason that they pay is because nobody wants to do it. But like, that's really what it is. It's just also the title. I remember when I worked at a finance firm, I remember being able to say like, I work at blah, blah, blah place. It sounded, you know, elitist. Right. I mean, that's like not the issue. I just, I am a black sheep. Like I am, you know me, I am walking around. I'm bossy.

You are beating to your own drum. I'm the only one that rides a skateboard to work. I can tell you that much. In a suit. Everyone's in a suit and ties. Everyone looks the exact same. Every job is hard in its own way. I love Excel. There's left brain people. There's right brain people. There's Excel people. There's fucking me. I don't know. Then there's us.

We don't know. I'm not an Excel person. Like I do it. I know how to do it. Okay. I am like, do you know pivot tables? I don't. And I said that on a resume. And then someone asked me to instruct how to do a pivot table. And they handed me a computer to do it. And I said, oh my God, it's so crazy. I forgot how to do it all of a sudden. Oh, wow. During an interview. Wow. Love that. Well, good thing I didn't lie about pivot tables. Yeah.

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Okay, so job, love, exclamation point. Love. Apartment size, love, exclamation point. What about your dating life? Oh my God, yeah, let's talk about that. How is that going? Even better than everything. Dude.

Dude, what do you mean? Like, it's like so crazy. Like, I don't know. I just feel like I'm am I ever going to listen, John? No, most people are not in love with their apartment job and love life. OK, most people are trying to work on one or the other or all of the above. Well, that brings me. OK, including myself. OK, well, but dating life. How's it going? I know how to skateboard.

What the fuck does that even mean? I just... I know how to skateboard. I just don't know how to date, okay? No, I do know how to date. How's my dating life going? It's going okay. Uh-huh. It's not going, like, that great. I mean, the guy I was talking to, like, he kind of just...

stop talking to me. I mean, that's the dating game. That's what happened. I had like this, this like cute text, like written out being like, Hey, like, I'm sorry if I did anything. I know I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. Please tell me you didn't send it. No, but I put it, I put it in my notes. I was like, why didn't he talk to me? I literally have to like be by your side and you're like, okay, I'm going to text him. And I'm like,

you are not allowed to text him back for at least another hour and a half. I know. But like the bad thing is, is like, I feel like the longer we just like don't speak, it's like I'm getting like more over it. So it's great. But like, you know, I don't, I don't kind of want a relationship. Maybe I've never really been. I haven't really like,

Been in one. Yeah. I'm the opposite where I am. I have always been in one. You're always in it. And I'm like in the relationship somehow as well. Usually. What does that mean with me? Well, I mean, yeah, I did make out with your ex-boyfriend, which was nice. We did talk about that once. So I know that sounds a little shocking to some people. John did make out with my boyfriend while I was dating him. Yeah.

And you know who else made out with him is your sister. - Yeah. - Who was also my best friend. - He's a beautiful man. - So you, me and your sister have all made out with one of my ex-boyfriends. - Like you, I don't care that much about the sister part. Like I didn't know that. And like, I'm now I'm like learning and I'm a little bit like, whoa, no, okay.

Sure, we're all just an incestuous little love group. Yeah, but that should have been a red flag to me, you know, when I was dating him back in the day. Like, he did make out with you at the same party I was at when I was crying over how bad he had hurt me. And you were supposed to be consoling me, but instead I caught you guys making out in a closet. What?

So what? So what am I supposed to apologize? Like, you know, crazy. I took the opportunity upon myself to make

out with him while I'm crying over him. I've said it before. I'm going to say it again. I did you a favor. You literally were dating him and he made out with me. I was like, oh, and then I think that's like when it started to go downhill. You're like, maybe he is a little gay. Okay. Anyway, I don't know if he's gay. John, thank you so much for anyone listening. Definitely have your best friend make out with your boyfriend to make it clear if you should stay with them or not. Exactly.

Exactly. If you're wondering, like, should I break up? Should I stay with someone? Just have your best friend make out with them. Boy, girl, doesn't matter. And that's, you know. Yeah. You were looking out for me. Okay. I apologize. Thank you. Like, fuck. Like, crucified. We were like 16 years old. Okay.

Okay, John, so we're, I mean, you, I don't, I'm assuming I'm not allowed on Raya either. We're not allowed on Raya. Fuck no. What dating app are you on? Dude, I deleted, I don't have any single app except for Hinge.

That's the only one I have and I use it like a video game. Well, there is this one new app or it's not really an app and I'm not on it, but I have gone on it. Okay. We don't have to get into the reason why I know about it because that's a whole other story for a different time. But I found out about this app and it's not an app. It's actually a site. Ladies, ladies, ladies, hold up.

If you are near a browser, I'd like you to go to sniffies.com. You can use this anonymously. If you log in, you put in your birthday, that's all you have to do. Go click anonymous, put in your birthday or just birth year, use it anonymously. If you see a giant dick or someone's zoomed up butthole inside of your home, your husband's gay.

I'm sorry. That is not where I was expecting that to go. Dude, this app is gnarly. And it's on a map. Is it like Grindr?

10 times raunchier. Like it is insane. Okay. It is nasty. It's nasty. And I think because I have like this, I have this weird thing about like asking people, like I like to really get what they're into. Like, yeah, tell me everything. I'm like, I'm into that too. I'm not fucking into that. I just like want you to like, tell me like, I think that like get someone off. So it's like, but people on there, like I can't deal with people on there because like, I'm like, it's too much. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like they're serious. Yeah.

Like what's too much? Like shitting, scat, scatling? Blood. You can choose, select like so many like kinks, like so many different kinks. And it is insane how many you can choose from. And like the options are just like, whoa, I didn't even know that that was a kink. So it's sniffies. Sniffies.com. Yeah.

It's a lot of and it's a lot of closet of people. But the main purpose is it's like for public play. What does that mean? It's like when you want to do understall. What? When you fuck someone under the stall of a public bathroom. Okay. Yeah. I've never heard of understall. It's a thing. Yeah. I mean, I get public sex. Well, you know, like the tap of the foot. If it's three taps, you get on the floor. Stop. Yeah. So explain to me how that meetup happened. It's so crazy.

You'll log in. It is a map and like it'll have like, let's say for an example, like it will have like the Macy's bathroom and it will have like five people that are like they're like they join. They're in there right now. They're actually there right now. So basically you log into this site and it will be like, yo, the fucking Walgreens down the street. There are three people there right now ready to fuck.

Oh. In the bathroom is what it is. That's exactly what it is. And then you show up to the bathroom. I've never done it, dude. I mean, I'm just, I'm asking like hypothetically how it works. Like, yeah, you would go, you would go there and then like,

yes, you would go there and then you would go to like, let's say I would open it up and it goes so far, like for, I didn't, not 40 miles, maybe like 10 miles out. And then like, you would like, you click on something and then it would be like, these people are here and then you can like click to join it. So like, if I wanted to go do that, then I would go to this Macy's bathroom or wherever this was. My question is like,

And those five people are in there. Okay, but when you get to the bathroom, are you like, who's here for the snuffies meetup? No, it's... Like, what if there's people in there who are just, like, using the restroom? Dude, that's the craziest part is, like, that is the kink. Like, people have that kink. People have so many kinks. They're like, oh, we might, like, stumble upon someone who didn't even mean to fuck. Like, getting caught is a kink. Like, you can look up caught...

Oh, well, okay. Yeah, that's like literally public play. I get that. I get that. But anyway, I'm sorry if I ruin any relationships because I feel like I might actually because there are a lot of closeted guys on there. That's okay. And I don't mean to like, you know, break up any relationships. I really am just saying that it is a raunchy app or raunchy site. Yeah. And, um,

Good luck. And if you want to get fucked and get an outfit, go to Macy's. And before you go there, go to Snuffy's. And it's like a two in one. It's Sniffy's, but yes. Sniffy's. And you get fucked and you get an outfit. And then you're on your way home. There you go.

I'm

No matter the age or personality. And when you sign up, one subscription gets you everything you need. For all the kids in your home, from pre-K to 12th grade, IXL is used in 95 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S., with one in four students across the country using the program. So don't wait any longer. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now.

and listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at iXLLearning.com slash audio. Visit iXLLearning.com slash audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Okay, John, this has been fucking amazing. Can we answer some questions, please? Do please. That's the only reason I wanted to come here. Please, please, please.

S.O.S. Save our sleuths questions, stories, advice. John, let's fucking go. Here's question number one. Hey, sleuth, can you give some tips for staying dominant in a relationship? I want my little boyfriend bitch to know his place and know how lucky and honored he is in this relationship. XOXO.

Okay. So she's, they're into some BDSM. I mean, I don't necessarily think that's what that means. She's basically saying, I want to constantly remind my boyfriend that like, I'm the one in charge and I'm the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Oh,

I don't think it's that hard. You just have to consistently make him feel insecure. I just think it's all about confidence. Honestly, like, you know that you wear the pants, you wear the fucking pants. Like, I don't even know why you should even have this question. Why are you even asking this? Like, you should just be like, bitch, I am God. Exactly.

- Exactly. - Bitch I am God. Look at Kanye, he's doing well, right? - You think Kanye walks around scared that he's not coming off dominant? - Yeah. - No. - No, no, he doesn't. And you know what? Neither are you girl. I don't know who you are, but you need to tell that bitch boy to shut the fuck up. Tell him to sit down, tell him to bark like a dog because that boy's going down to hell. Hades. No, but really, you need to like be, just be yourself girl.

Be the fucking, be the spark that you are to the world. It's a mindset, girlfriend. Confidence is key. Yes. Shove it in his face and say, eat it. As far,

Whereas John, I mean, poetry, real poetry, as long as you are confident in the relationship and you don't let him walk all over you and you hold strong to your boundaries and you remind him in, you know, certain ways that another guy could swoop you up. You could leave at any moment. Yeah.

you are wanted by other people, you're okay without him, you're fine. That was a toxic answer. Don't care. I just feel like if you don't feel that way, if you don't feel like you have the pants in the relationship, get the fuck out of there. Girls should always have the pants. Always. Because they're so much smarter. Why do you think I'm friends with them? Why do you think I spend my time with them? Because they're human beings. I agree. In relationships, I personally believe that the woman...

should always wear the pants. - Yeah. - In a successful relationship. - A perfect relationship is a sane,

well-rounded man straight obviously and we're talking heteronormatively pushing their woman to be the best boss bitch that yes yes and if he does not allow you to wear the pants you're in the wrong fucking relationship and get the fuck out of there because pants are worth wearing and if you're fucking naked you fucking look dumb so get the hell out of there and

Shove it in his face. I'm getting that tattooed. And that was fucking brilliant. Okay. Next question. Hi, Sophia. I am a gay frat boy. And I was wondering, how do I talk to girls at frat parties without leading them on? I like talking to people, but don't want to seem flirty and certainly not creepy. Thanks. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So he's gay. He's in a frat. Like already like props to you. Don't know how you did that. For real. That's like a whole other thing. Journey. Yeah. Proud of you there. I couldn't do it. No. I'd be like too much testosterone. Yeah. Where are my girls? That's outstanding. I honestly, I don't know. I don't have this issue because I just go up to people and I'm like, hey, I'm gay. What's up? No. I'm gay.

but I really do, I'm very comfortable and I'm just like, I'll just say something like, "Hey girly, hey girl, oh my God, I love your shoes." But I'm just like so, I don't know, but I really do like her shoes. I don't just say I like her shoes. - So basically you let them know you're gay either by saying you're gay

you're gay or by doing the stereotypical things that are seen as gay, which is completely fine. But in the question, did he, did he say that he's out of the closet? I mean, he said I'm gay and I don't want to lead girls on. Okay. Well, I just, I didn't really clarify. So I guess, okay. So I guess first take would be like, if you should just be feeling comfortable enough to say, you know, Hey, like, you know, I,

I'm gay. Like, I don't think any girls will have anything wrong with that. I don't know where you are and what city, but like, I, you should feel comfortable enough to say if you're in the closet. Yeah. It sounds like maybe it's in the closet. It sounds like you might be in the closet. Cause have you ever been worried to be at a party and be talking to a girl and be worried that you're leading her on or seem creepy? No, because I would like throw her face. Like I would literally be like, whoa, whoa. What is that?

- What does that mean? - Like I would, like she would come, if she tried to kiss me, I would like literally like dodge that shit. - But you've never been worried, oh this girl might think I'm straight and I'm being creepy. - Absolutely not. And if she does, I'm like, I don't think so. - So maybe this guy is in the closet. - I think that he's in the closet and I think that this would be really tough situation, especially being in a frat. This guy has to be straight.

Because he's in a frat. You think about it. He said he's gay, John. Well, no, no, no. I mean, he's telling people he's straight. Oh, I was like, wait, what? When I say straight, you know what I mean. Right, right, right. Okay. He's identifying as straight. I mean...

my answer is like who gives a fuck if they if you they feel like you're creepy or leading them on yeah you're not being creepy I just wish he felt comfortable enough to come out well but that yeah of course we all wish that right the fact that we don't even know if he's in the closet right but like but at the same time like

If he said he's gay, chances are you're not coming off as creepy. No. And who gives a fuck if she interprets it like you're leading her on? Yeah, I feel like... I lead guys on all day, every single day.

single day of the week 24 7 it's all she does it's kind of crazy it's literally all I do I'm like I'm either getting business done I'm either getting a reservation somewhere I'm getting something I lead guys on with no intention of sleeping with them as a lifestyle people like to do nice things for other people

That's literally not what I was saying at all. Guys will do nice things for me because they want to sleep with me and I will indulge them. Right. I just feel like being, I just feel like it just doesn't, you should be able to be friends with whoever you want to be friends with and you shouldn't be worried about being creepy or weird or annoying if they don't like you, if you sense that they're not,

vibing with you, fucking leave. And then there's going to be a group of people that are nicer and more accepting. How could they really come off creepy? Like the only way you're coming off creepy is if you're like, hey girl. Nice tits. I have a mattress upstairs in like a 40. Yeah, girl, you want to do some pot on my head? Yeah, exactly. What is he doing? Is he putting on a fake mustache? Yes, exactly.

Sir, you are not coming off creepy. And who gives a fuck if the girl thinks you're leading them on? You're her friend. Okay. Straight people, gay people, bi people, non-binary. Everyone can be friends and they're not leading the other person on just because of their sexuality. Boom. Done. Moving on. Things are bigger in your head than they are in real life. Boom. Done. Thank you. Okay. Next question. Hi, Sophia. Hi.

Love you in the pod. I wanted to ask your opinion on male cheaters. If a boy texts me to hook up when he has a girlfriend, does that mean he cares for me at all? Or is he simply not getting what he wants with his girlfriend? Let me know this. This is really affecting my mental health and is exhausting. What's affecting her mental health? Why is she asking herself? Of course, it's the latter.

What? He doesn't give a fuck. No, he most likely does not give a fuck. He's most likely just not getting what he wants out of his current relationship. And that's why he's seeking it elsewhere. Right. Or else he would have just left her. Right. There's something that's holding him connected to his current relationship. Exactly. Whether that's like whatever situation she's got going on. What do you think? Okay.

I think that if he is cheating, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about you. I'm sure he does. He could care about you. Of course he cares about you. Like, men care about toilets. Right, but...

- Okay, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if he cares about you, loves you, et cetera. What matters is what you want out of your relationship with him. And if you're cool being the side hoe for the rest of your life. And there is a possibility that yeah, he's in a relationship and loves his current girlfriend.

also cares about you. But that shit doesn't matter. Are you cool with him having a girlfriend and being the girl that you know, shows up at 1am and has to crawl through the window and suck his dick and then crawl back out? Yeah, I don't know, girl. That's that's on you. We don't know girl. But if it's affecting your mental health, like you said, get the fuck out or give him an ultimatum. Boom, done moving on. Okay, next.

"Hey Sophia, I am 22 and I'm seeing this guy that is 39. I really like him and I can't figure out if it has to do with the fact that he is building a brand new million dollar home and has a boat.

that I could be on all summer, or if he is actually going to be a great companion for me long term. Financial security is a big green flag for me in a relationship. But what questions would you ask yourself to detach from the money aspect and the idea of being a stay at home girlfriend versus is this going to be love at some point and long term?

So basically she's dating a dude right now. She's blinded by the money because she's about to be living in a million dollar home and have a boat. And she's wondering, she's sad about it. No, she's wondering like, am I, am I jaded right now by the money or could this actually be my husband? Yeah.

I mean, are you happy is the first question. Like, first of all, find out if you're happy. If you're happy, fucking slay, girl. I would fucking, I would go after it. But like to divide the two, because I have dated, you know, some wealthier people or some wealthier men, obviously. What do you mean by divided it? Like, because I realized that I really did only like him because he had money and because he was nice. So I have a really interesting perspective on this because I,

I don't think that you can separate those things. Money is the same as attractiveness. A guy dating a girl and she's super hot and he's like, am I just dating her because she looks like a model? Or am I dating her because I really love her and it could be long-term? I don't think you can separate looks, money, personality, like...

I think they all make up a person. And so, yeah,

I don't think the way to go about it is to think, okay, let's pretend this dude was poor and had no money. Would I date him? Because obviously you would say, hell no. Or would I date this model girl if she was ugly? You would say, hell no. It's part of what makes up a person. And people say like, oh, you shouldn't date someone for money or for their looks. Bullshit. It's part of the equation. It's something we all think about. And so I think for this girl, the real question is...

Does he have enough other qualities to him that would make your future life happy?

you know what I'm saying yeah on top of the money is he smart do you guys have fun do you guys laugh laugh do you trust him like do you belly laugh do you belly laugh do you belly laugh at the grocery store picking up cans of soup yes and putting them in a grocery cart imagining a baby baby Elsa in the cart do you trust him is he a

good guy like is he is this real money is he selling bitcoin like how is he how you know what i mean like is he a good guy yeah i would just say like you you know you kind of asked the question like if you were if he were to be poor like would you still yeah i think i think you can you can think about it that way because you like he would still have the same ambition but like let's say he were to lose his job or whatever he does now like would you still love him right like that's kind of

That's kind of where you like how I would think about it. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't think about it in terms of, okay, this guy doesn't have the million dollar house and he doesn't have the boat and he's poor. Do I still want to be with him? Because chances are you're going to think to yourself, no, don't think about it that way. Think about it as if, okay, if he didn't have the million dollar home and the boat, does he have enough other qualities?

that would keep me around

Keep me happy long term. Be good for my kids, etc. How big is his dick? How is this sex? Exactly. Thank you for reminding me. Did we forget that we have sex? I know. I forgot that we fuck. In relationships? Yeah, like how's the sex, girl? The chemistry. Yeah, you good, girl? Think about all things that encompass a relationship. Maybe just like put on a fucking, you know, pro and con list. And if your con list is larger, I would probably just leave. Yeah.

If the only pros are the boat and the home, then get the fuck out. That's your fucking answer. Go find someone with a personality. Yeah, thank God. So that is it for this week. John, I love you so fucking much. We live 10 minutes away from each other. I'm so happy now we're both in New York. John, where can they find you aside from Raya? Because they cannot find you

there they can't you can't find me anywhere you can find me on Instagram and TikTok at John like the Bible and you can find me on my 12 follower Twitter at John the Bible

And as always, you guys, you can find me on all social media platforms. Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y. Actually, on TikTok, it's Sophia Franklin and the number zero, which I found out a couple weeks ago. And the most important thing to me is if you enjoyed this in any way, shape or form, please

please share it with a friend, have them subscribe, rate, review. It's the reason I'm able to do what I can do. And with that, I will see you guys next fucking week. Bye.