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Hello, everybody. This recording, I think, is going to be the last recording done in my mom's basement in the studio.
So there's the news right there. Did I even say welcome to Sophia with an F? Alex, you're the producer. You're supposed to tell me. Hi, Sophia. Why don't you introduce the show, would you? Okay. The show is called Sophia with an F. My name is Sophia. Welcome, everybody. This is my producer, Alex. Hi. Hi. So I got approved for my apartment in New York. This might be our last time recording in here.
Wow. Did you think about that? No, I didn't. Okay. It's kind of sad. It's kind of sad, but I think our eyes could use some sunlight for sure. Or, you know, like...
Any light for that matter. It's kind of sad, but also kind of for our health, physical and mental, completely necessary. I don't know if we've ever like explained the studio. We record in a room that has not one window and we spend like...
16 hours at a time working in here and we just... We won't see daylight. No. There's no air ventilation. No, like if we don't look at the clock like every once in a while, like for all we know, it could be 6 a.m., it could be 6 p.m. The only way to really tell is when you walk out this room and you see...
window and you can see the actual natural light and it's either pitch black or it's bright as day. It's like no man's land. And it's tiny and it's just a situation, but... We're in a bunker. It is like a bunker. I'm going to miss it though. We talk shit on it. We're going to miss it so much. For sure. So guys, yeah, I guess. I mean, it's been, I don't even know how many fucking years and now it's finally happening again.
Your bitch will be back in New York. I'm so excited. Aside from that, Alex, what else is new? Oh, I was at Planned Parenthood and I just like forgot all of the necessary steps you have to go through to just get tested for your vagina in general. Yes. You know what I mean? Like the questions they have to ask you. Like they're like, we have to do a pregnancy test.
I didn't ask for a pregnancy test. Just tell me if I have a UTI. Like, why are we doing that? But then they go down, like, the whole thing. Like, are you sexually active? How many partners have you had in the past X months? Do you enjoy anal? Do you fuck girls?
It's like, they're not wrong questions. Maybe it's because we're in fucking Utah, but it feels like we shouldn't be answering them, honestly. Do you give and receive oral sex? I answered that one. I said, I absolutely receive. I do not give. I'm not kidding. I literally said that. Trust me. I believe you. No, but like, I didn't want to get a pregnancy test. I understand that's protocol, but then I have to sit in the room for 15, 20 minutes wondering like,
oh shit, like fuck. Like maybe I technically could be. Yeah. Right? For sure. And then it turned out I just had a UTI. I mean, I am waiting for the STD results. So stay tuned. Oh God. I think I'm in the clear, but we'll see. The funny thing is, you know how girls and their periods sync up? Mm-hmm. UTIs do the same thing, you guys. It's true. It's so cute.
Not only does Sophia have a UTI, but your girl absolutely has one too. Our UTIs are synced up. UTIs. I love it. So basically, I'm on cloud nine UTI. I took my last round of antibiotics today. I'm moving to New York. I'm unstoppable right now. You're on fire. I am. I'm lit.
Ha ha, there she is. I don't want to use terminology that is trending, but I have to. Oh, don't worry. That shit is not trending anymore. It's vintage now, so I think you can use it now.
I fucking hate you. Guys, I don't know what to do. Why can't we say it's lit? Why are certain words only cool for a certain period of time? I'm over it. So if I go to a party and I'm like, oh my God, like I went to this thing. It was lit. That's embarrassing. No, I say lit. Okay. So why am I getting shit? Because I'm old. That and also like you are not a person that I could look at and be like, yeah.
That makes sense for her to say it's lit. You know what? For some reason, that makes sense. But we're going to fucking move on to Instagram for a second. And social media in general, I really don't like hating on what people do on social media because...
It's already so fucking hard to post. And I post shit all day long. And I posted so much shit that makes me want to die. I pretend that a lot of the things I posted don't exist. I want to cringe. I want to crawl out of my skin, run through the wall like the Kool-Aid man and like drown in the East River. Like it's embarrassing. And I just block it out of my memory. Okay.
So I don't like talking shit on other people because you could go to any of my things and make fun of it. Okay. There is one trend that I just, it needs to stop. Ladies and some men, but mostly ladies, we really need to stop taking the full length mirror with us.
around like it's a purse. We don't need to take the full length mirror with us to Target, take it to the park and do an artsy photo in front of it. We don't need to take it to fucking Whole Foods third floor. Like these girls are taking a full length mirror from the inside of their house or wherever and throwing it in the trunk and driving somewhere and posting with it. And it needs to stop.
I'm just imagining, what does that look like? Like a girl at the park.
out a full-length mirror from her car and setting it up in front of the swings and taking pictures. I mean, I don't know. Like, it's some, like, influencers in the wild ship. If I'm seeing an influencer at the park taking pictures in front of swings, I know she's making money and I'm just at the park not making money, so... It's... Hold on. We should, like, explain the trend first. Okay. Like, do people even know what we're talking about? Probably not. There is this trend
trend or there was this trend where someone decided to take a full length mirror, a big ass mirror and take it outside and then take a picture in the mirror. And like it looked artsy. It looked cool. It was dope. It looked great. And then everyone hopped on the trend and
And then it just became this thing where I will not say this person's name because I'm not going to be that bitch. I came across this girl's profile and she had taken her gold frame, kind of vintage-y looking, full-length mirror, speckled finish. And she took it and set it up.
in her parking garage, in a public parking garage and was wearing a swimming suit and is sitting on the floor. And it's kind of the most shocking picture I've ever seen.
It's a parking garage. And she's sitting on the floor? Let's back up. Swimming suit, sitting on the floor in the parking garage. I don't know what kind of parking garages you've been to, but like anytime I've been in a parking garage, like I've peed in front of the car. There are stains. There's pee, there's puke. Heroin needles. All of it. Gum.
Shit. Disgusting. Yeah. This was a regular ass parking garage and she's sitting bare ass on the floor and brought her luxury mirror from her room to the parking garage to take a picture. Okay. The other thing I want to say about that is the girl's caption for the picture is the lighting makes up for the backdrop.
The lighting does not make up for it at all. No. The whole thing is absolutely like... You're sitting in piss and whatever else happens in a parking garage and fucking Tito's that people have to like pour out of their car. I don't get it, but like it brings up a bigger thing where...
It's mostly women and I am not hating on women, okay? Ever. I am a feminist. I love whatever we do. I just think when we post and we want to post something slutty and we want to post something sexual, let's own it and let's not make the caption coy, okay?
And like, okay, this is a great example. Okay. If you are in a thong and your caption says something like, I see this one a lot. Ignore my awkward hand. LOL. Yes. I see that all the time. All the time. Or...
They're wearing a fucking shirt and their nipples are out basically and fucking shorts that are wedgied up their ass and they look amazing. But then their caption says, oh my God, my room is so messy. Yes. Just stop. It's like we can see. A. Yes.
But it's like, I can see your butthole pretty much right now. Like, which one do you want me to focus on? No, it's like, we know the intention behind the picture. You know what the intention is behind the picture. Let's not play pretend. Don't make a joke about you being in a parking lot, your room being messy, your hand looking weird, your fucking dog in the background, but like your pussy's out and your labia is like sprawled out across the floor. Like.
Like, we're not making jokes about shit in the room. You can make a joke about something else. Like, oh my God. Labia for days. I don't know. I'm sure Instagram would love that. But like, you get what I'm saying. Don't act stupid. That's it. Own it. Own it. Show off what you got. Own it. And that's it. Okay. Hold on. I actually need to talk about something.
So it's not even funny. I don't know why I'm laughing. It's just I just like want to get it out in the open. Something happened to me a few nights ago. I am asleep in bed. I'm the little spoon per usual. And he's the big spoon. He's behind me. And I woke up to something poking my back. What would that be? A sword? A sword.
A boner. A boner. Yes. It was his penis and it was hard. And that is what was poking me. And I mean, okay. That's like an every night thing. Whatever. Then he starts grinding up on me. Not like major, but like he starts just kind of like humping, thrusting on my back. And I'm like, oh,
Like, you don't got to tell me twice. You're trying to fuck. I get what you're doing. And so what I do is I back it up like a dump truck. But also, I'm still kind of pretending like I'm asleep. Okay. So...
why do I just pretend like I'm still kind of asleep? Honestly, I think it's lazy. Yeah, 100%. Right? Like I was woken up out of a dead sleep to him grinding on me. Yes, I kind of want to fuck, but there's no way in hell me half asleep and just as lazy as I am that I'm going to take the initiative to, you know, fucking flip over and start freaking out. Yes. And I don't want to have to do the pull my panties down part.
You know? Oh, for sure. If I'm asleep and you wake me up with your boner, you're going to have to do all the work. You have to undress me. You got to put me on all of that. All of the fucking work. The only thing I'm going to do is kind of like back it up. I want you to like pull my panties down, whatever. Yes. So I think everyone like can fucking relate to that. So don't fucking pretend like you don't do it. So I do that for a second. And then he's not really taking action anymore.
And I peek over my shoulder and he is comatose. He is dead asleep. Okay. Not pretending like I was like, not just kind of like, you know, he was in his fucking REM cycle. Okay. You know, like when you're dreaming about something funny and then you laugh in your sleep and it's just completely involuntary and you're just in your dream. You're not in reality. It was like that. Yes.
And the first thing that popped into my head, to be honest, was what is he dreaming about right now? Good point. Excuse me. Who is he dreaming about right now? Because chances are it's not me. Yeah, probably not. Think about all...
the women in the world that he could be dreaming about. Okay. I'm just a realist. You're in dream land where you have access to dream about every single human being on the planet.
I'm just going to go ahead and assume it's not me. I'm a realist. It's either an ex-girlfriend. It's like Minka Kelly, like a celebrity. It's just he's dreaming about someone that's not me sexually while he's fucking humping me. Yes. It's like it's this very bizarre thing. And I had this moment where I just I straight up felt used. Would you consider that cheating? He's dreaming of other women. Yeah.
dreaming of other women and using my body as a prop to get off to another girl yes like oh my god honey thank god my ass was in such close contact with you so that you could rub your dick on me dreaming about some other bitch what is the protocol there do you wake them up
No. Do I sound crazy right now? I know I do. Kind of, yeah. But I also don't care. Like, can you imagine waking them up and being like, who were you just thinking about? That's what I should have done. For sure. Wow. What the... Or put a pillow in between. I just... I'm just saying my body and my butt...
My choice. Like, I don't need to be the physical thing that you use to get off to another girl in that moment. You know, I mean, I've had wet dreams. I don't think I've ever found myself grabbing a guy's hand and like placing it on my pussy and like rubbing it. Yeah. Or somehow humping his leg. I get it's a little bit different, just the anatomy of it all. But I don't know. And then at the same time, I'm like,
It's a dream. And maybe you do just take one for the team because, like, you love this guy and it's your partner and you want them to feel good. And maybe you should just, like, let them. I guess. I don't want to stop his...
urges and his pleasure and him feeling good. I want to know where the consent is here because, you know, great question. It's not like you're the one asleep. He's the one asleep. So if you think about it, the consent was kind of missing on who did not get consent because he's dead asleep and I'm backing it up onto his dick awake. Right.
Okay. Holy shit. Hard hitting questions. Wow. Who is the person that, you know, is not getting the consent? The girl he's dreaming about. Fuck.
100% Did I continue to do my little like ass arch thing until he woke up so he did end up fucking me? Yeah. 100%. You think I was going to let him finish out his dream and fuck this girl? No. No. I was like, hi, honey, let's go. I like went on about my day. I was like slightly irritated. I didn't like say anything. I didn't like cause a scene because I'm fucking mature and I've had dreams about other... So mature. Yeah.
Extremely. I mean, I've had dreams about fucking other people. I just, I've never used him as a prop to come. That was just a little thing that happened. And I think that this has happened to a lot of girls. And I just, what do you guys do in that situation? You just let him go to town or you shut it down? I don't know. Let me know. Fucking DM me.
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So I stayed in all weekend, basically. I was very responsible, you guys. I did fucking four months worth of laundry. Not an exaggeration. No. There were still, there were two suitcases that I had not unpacked from months ago. Yes. It's disgusting. Yes. And Sophia, she doesn't have a closet. She has a closet room. The entire room is her closet. And she uses it. There was clothes everywhere.
Everywhere. I don't even shop that much. I don't know what it is. No clue. Whatever. So I fucking, I did laundry. I organized. I'm trying to get myself ready for this move. And I ended up staying in Saturday night and I watched the Tinder swindler. That movie was crazy.
I have so many feelings about it, Alex. Like, without getting into too much detail, you guys, basically, it's about this guy. It's a documentary. It's real. It's about this guy who would find women on Tinder and then coerce them into thinking he's a billionaire. Mm-hmm.
He's they're flying private with him. He's staying at all the nicest hotels. The entire fucking staff at the hotel knows him. Nice restaurant. Yes. He's like, I'm in Dubai and then I'm in London and then I'm in Moscow and like all this shit.
And then he would make them believe like he genuinely loved them. Yeah. He like developed a relationship with them. Yes. One of them was even his girlfriend. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Cool. Standard billionaire shit. Really? Really? Okay. Yeah.
This is the thing, though, is he would take all of these women, take them for all they're worth, drain their bank accounts, make them take out massive loans, ruin their credit. Fucking I think he asked one of the girls to sell her car or something to like send him the money. He promised to reimburse the girls, obviously. And the reason these women fucking loaned him all this money and fell for this shit. I mean, there's two reasons. One,
He exposed them to his lifestyle, which is only a lifestyle sustained if you are a fucking multi-multi-millionaire billionaire. So they had no reason to believe they weren't going to get reimbursed. Yes. A. B, he's a manipulative fuckhead and is like, I'm so in love with you. I want to have kids with you. Yes. Okay. So that's kind of like why they fell for it.
And it turns out that it was kind of this like Ponzi scheme where he was essentially using taking all the money from one girl to fund his fucking trip to
Where he would spend it with another girl. Yeah. Then scam that girl, use her money to use on the other girl. And it just goes on and on and on and on and on. You know? Yes. Just repeat. Ball out with these girls, rob them, repeat type of shit. And it's like millions of dollars collectively amongst all these women. Millions and millions of dollars. Something the documentary failed to mention. What is this guy's dick game? What?
What is his dick game? Because yes, I understand you're in love with someone. Maybe you have like your rose colored glasses on and he made it very clear he's rich. I get all of those things. But for me to...
to max out multiple credit cards for a dude, his dick better put me in a fucking coma. Like his dick game better be like next level. Yeah, for sure. So that's kind of just the whole premise of the whole thing. Do I think these women were gullible? Maybe. Do I blame them? No, no.
It's this really hard thing where a lot of people have like been saying, oh my God, what a fucking idiot. How could you do that? What is wrong with you? It's not fair to victim blame like that because I think we've all been there in some way, shape or form. For sure. Have we not? Yeah. I mean, I've paid for a phone bill before. No, you haven't. Yeah.
A phone bill? No. When I was down bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, and I was dating this absolute piece of shit loser, I paid for his phone bill. And it's really embarrassing. I never, ever want to repeat it ever again. Oh, my God. I mean, the worst I've done is like buy a guy an Uber or something, but that's probably the extent. That's just as bad as a phone bill. No.
Yes, it is. What? So it was a one night stand and you were like, oh my God, let me get you a car to take you home. No, dear God, no. I was like. He doesn't have a car? Yeah. Okay. This was a long time ago though. I'm very much grown. Yes. You know what? I'm not judging you because I've like done similar shit. Granted, these women were loaning out. I mean, one of the girls was like, he asked for $30,000. That was all.
All of my life savings. I think there are a total of three people on this planet that I would loan $30,000 to. Yeah. You're not one of them. For sure. No, you know, I would not reimburse you. You're not even one of them. And even then I would be very skeptical. I'd be like, I need to know exactly like what you're doing with this money. But.
At the same time, I'm not going to blame them. It would be hard if you had been exposed to this lifestyle. I would believe he was rich as fuck. 100%, yeah. But I might have been like, you're rich as fuck. I know I'm not your only fucking outlet here. You have some money fucking hidden in your mattress, bitch. Yeah. You met me three months ago. I know I'm not the only person that can help you out here. But it brought up a bigger thing about...
how we've just all been scammed in some shape or form. It's like, ladies, we do need to be a little bit more aware of the signs. If this guy is asking you to drive, he does not have a car. Okay?
That's it. Bottom line. That's fucking it. And another thing I would like to point out because I've actually experienced this. If he has a Range Rover, a Mercedes, okay, and he picks you up and he takes you to dinner. But then when it comes time to go back to his apartment or his house and he tries to say something like,
It's under construction. It's being renovated. We just can't access it right now. It's a fucking mess. Let's go back to your place. He is homeless. He lives in his car. He parks his car in a parking garage every single night and crawls into the backseat and goes to sleep. That's it. I don't care.
All men are homeless until proven otherwise. I've said it before. There is no excuse that like you cannot enter his place. Okay.
I swear that's like a quarter of the dudes in LA. They like drive Lambos and they don't have homes so that they can just whip around looking cool. It's like so fucking stupid. But the other thing I was thinking, and this is probably fucked up, and I was thinking this the entire time I was watching that movie, is how...
how I want to try it. Yes. And how easy it would be for women to be the Tinder swindler. For sure. Like that documentary was pretty much like a step by step on how to succeed in pulling off that kind of scam. Right. But like the thing is, is taking advantage of
a man is a thousand times easier than scamming a woman because men think with their dick. Yes. And it's like taking, oh, scamming horny guys. Easy. The easiest fucking thing in the entire world. But the reason that this worked in this case towards these women, because, you know, they were thinking with their heart and there was love involved.
And the girls are still paying off the debt. So fucked up. So crazy. That is so... Has someone started to go fund me for these girls? I don't know. I need to know. We should. Because that's so fucked up. 100%. Just straight up.
Sleuths, just be careful, all right? Be careful out there. My little tidbit of advice is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever empty your fucking bank account to loan someone money.
Or loan someone money when you cannot afford it. I don't care who it is. Unless it's for hospital bills because you have a family member that's dying. Yeah. Then I understand. But other than that, no. Yeah. Especially let alone someone that you met on Tinder. Right. Like you couldn't, you know, loan someone that you met on Raya some money. Or even Hinge. Like Tinder. Yeah. Come on. Wait. Actually, that's true. Lox Club, maybe.
maybe like Tinder. That's scary. You should have known from the get go. No, I actually live by this. I,
loan money out with the assumption that it could very well never get back to me you know that I that I could never be reimbursed yeah that's how you have to like go into giving out loans 100 you can't trust people to pay it back you know no so just always keep that in mind anyways tinder swindler what up come on the show you're a piece of shit
And I hope you go to jail because you probably should. You probably should. You absolutely should. All right. Let's get into Sloot University. And I know we've just been kind of shooting the shit and having fun and living our best lives. But it's time to get very into.
How do I say it? Sexual. Very graphic. Yeah. Very, very explicit. Okay. And if you have little kids in the car, as I always say, turn the volume up because they do need to know this for when they get older. We're going to talk about sexting. My body and my butt. My choice. So...
The reason I bring this up and the reason I want to talk about it is because I was sexting the other day and I had a little bit of a slip up. I was on the go. I think I was like driving. I was like talking to my mom, fucking something.
And I hit send on this sext, put my phone down. And when I went to pick up my phone, I realized that instead of writing, I was just thinking about when you did this to me while you fucked me. I mean, if we're here, I might as well just be very specific. For sure. And I said, I was just thinking about when you were playing with my asshole while you fucked me.
I didn't write that, though. I said I was just thinking about when you were playing with my asshole while you fucked me up. So the error was the up. I added an up at the end.
It's not the worst thing. It's not the cringiest thing. But it's like... It's a little weird to be like, oh my God, I was just thinking about when you fucked me up. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's like...
He's like, I fucked you up. Did he not beat you up last night? I don't know what you're talking about. And yeah, I guess it could have been interpreted as, oh, I fucked the pussy so good I fucked it up. But me and my personality, like I'm not, that's not the way I speak. And just like him reading, oh my God, babe, I was just thinking about when you were playing with my asshole while you fucked me up. Like I just.
I just, I wanted to fucking jump out of my skin. I was really fucking embarrassed. And at that point, it was too late to like hit him with the asterisk, you know, to fix it because like he had already responded. That's the other thing. I couldn't go back and just say, fucked me with the two little stars. Yeah, no, the vibes already killed. Bone are gone. Dryer than the Sahara Desert down there. No!
Do you think that killed his boner? No. He didn't think twice about it. No. That's one thing we can say about sexting is usually guys will let typos and shit slide because they're just horny as fuck. I mean, he responded with a bunch of other sex, you know? So I had that little slip up and I'm not going to lie to you guys. I haven't sexted in a while, in a long time. Yeah.
I felt like a prude, to be honest, Alex. Like sexting? Yeah, because I was like, whoa, should he be saying stuff like that explicit? This is coming from me, the biggest slew in the entire world. Some of the stuff he was hitting me with, I was a little taken aback, like,
Oh my God, like filthy mouth. Yeah. I'm acting like an 80 year old woman right now. I know how to fucking sex. I know how to do it well. Okay. I just had that little moment. There's a little bit of adjusting, but-
I'm a fucking fast learner and I am here to tell you guys all of the tips and tricks because it can be fucking nerve wracking. I don't care if you're in a relationship, if you're just starting to talk to someone, you will end up sexting...
at some point in your life. Yes. Probably multiple times. Yes. Probably a lot. So I think this is really important and I think I'm a fucking expert and I think everyone should listen the fuck up, especially because it's Slute University and you guys are my students and I'm the teacher and you have to by the school, school law. All right. So the first thing is,
You need to assess the situation. What kind of sexting is this? Are you guys both at work and this is just foreplay for later when you guys can actually fuck? Or are you holding the phone literally in one hand and fingering yourself in the other trying to come?
You know, like, are you actually trying to come while you are sexting? That's where Siri would really come in handy. What do you mean? Like you tell, so you're not fucking having to text with one hand and finger your pussy and the other, you just tell Siri what to say. Hey Siri, text Brad, tell him I can't wait for him to like finger my pussy and I'm going to get so wet all over it. Yeah. And then you tell Siri to say that and then she repeats back. She's like,
Message to Brad. Hi, Brad. I can't wait for you to finger me until I come. Ready to send? Yeah.
No, wait. That's not what's disturbing to me. Think about the fuck-ups, the typos. If you trusted Siri to do that, you know like that shit would not be spelled or said correctly at all. Guys, number one tip, do not use Siri when you're sexting and also double check what you're about to send so you don't pull some shit like I did. But this is really going to dictate...
What you say when you're sexting. Because if you're masturbating, you will absolutely be incorporating that into the sexting. You're going to be giving him like a play by play of what you're doing, how you're feeling. Yes. I'm touching myself right now. I'm rubbing my clit right now. I just put my fingers all the way in thinking about your dick right now. Right. That's easy. Like that's easy shit. So that brings me to my next point.
Regardless if you're masturbating or not, what you need to remember is these men are so desensitized to sex. Yes. That broad statements like,
Oh, you fuck me so good, baby, are not going to cut it. Okay. They're not going to. You might as well text him. Hey, how's your day, babe? Like you like those are equivalents to each other in this guy's head.
If you at any point feel like what you're texting is too explicit, repulsive, graphic, you're just hitting the tip of the iceberg, honey. These men are disgusting. Like, believe me, if you're writing something nasty and you think it's too much, it's not, it's probably not enough. That's my number one tip. Damn. Okay. My next one is...
If you have fucked before, you're in luck. Because the sex is basically written for you. Why? All you have to do is jog your memory and get your thoughts on paper.
It's what every writer struggles with. I remember a college professor one time told me that actually. But you just have to replay the events in your head and say, that was so hot when you did X, Y, Z. Yes. It's so easy. Yes. And if you've never fucked...
then you bring up specific shit you want to happen. Yes. And the way that you're going to like knock this shit out of the park and make him sploosh in his pants is by being descriptive as fuck. You need to paint the picture so that he actually feels it. Yes. Men are very visual. And so since they're not having that visual and it's just like sexting, texting, you need to be so fucking descriptive. Yes.
Women, I think, are a little bit different. Like, for example, I can read erotica and have the best orgasm. I don't think that's as common with men, if I had to guess. Okay. But you tell them exactly what either you want to do or what you want them to do to you. And guys, this is the best part because I'm so fucking generous. I'm going to give you strides.
Straight up examples that you could literally pick up your pen and pencils and write down right now and use on a dude. And I guarantee that these things are going to work. These sex. Let's hear it. Okay. Are you ready? This is going to get there. It's going to get steamy in here, Alex. All right. Crack a window that we don't have in this dungeon. This is absolutely the time that if you are with family, you're
or friends, you put your headphones in. You can take like basic sex and just spruce them up. For example, this is one of my favorite ones. Instead of saying, I'm so wet right now, you're going to say, I'm so wet right now, I feel it dripping down into my ass. Every guy I've used that one on
Loves it. Or this one's my personal favorite. Okay. I'm so wet right now. I can feel it through my pants or like it's soaked through my underwear. Love that one. See, like that's already a hundred times better than I'm so wet right now. Description. Okay. Go take a fucking creative writing class and then like you'll really kill it. I want you to spit in my mouth.
That really lets him know you have a freak side to you. Oh, here's an interesting thing you can do is a moaning voice note.
Or a voice note of you playing with your pussy and they like hear the wetness. That's really smart. That's really smart. And that is really going to like set you apart from all the other bitches he's sexting. You could really use the fucking voice note feature to your advantage here. Instead of saying, I want to suck your dick so bad right now, you can say...
I want to be so sloppy the next time I see you on your dick and I want to do it for hours. Okay. Little things like that. Why is this my job? I don't know. Oh, actually, that makes me think about something. I just talked about giving him a blowjob, right? This is a hot, hot take right here. Hot take.
Sometimes it's hard to know how much of the sexting should be focused on you and like your pleasure and telling him what you want him to do to you and how much of it should be focused on what you want to do to him.
Right? Yeah, that's a good point. Right? Because like we can sit there and talk about how wet we are and we want him to like fuck us like this and we want him to touch us like this. And then it's like, well, should we like, you know, move the attention to him and be talking about what we want to do to him? I have an answer to this. If anyone's wondering...
And it might hurt people's feelings. All right, let's hear it. I'm ready. But that's what I'm here for, okay? If the guy cares about you even a teeny tiny bit, you can talk about all the shit you want him to do to you and talk about your pleasure as much as you want.
Okay. If this guy is using you as a fucking sex doll or a sex toy, there's nothing wrong with that. I've been a dildo for someone before. Dildo? You mean a hole? Oh, yeah. What? I hope you're not a dildo. I mean, that'd be very interesting. No judgment, but I think you meant a hole. Excuse me. I have definitely just been a hole for someone before.
Then I think the sexting should be more focused on what you want to do to him. That's just how I feel. And I think it makes sense because dudes that don't really care about a girl, they don't really care about her pleasure that much. That's bottom line. So the sexting should fucking mirror that. And what are some other things? Because there's so much. Oh, as a general rule of thumb,
Do not exceed one to four sentences in a sex. He doesn't, he does not need to be reading a paragraph. No. Actually, isn't four sentences technically a paragraph? Technically, yes. Okay, well, you guys fucking know what I'm trying to say. Yes. Don't go on and on and on because then it like loses its magic. And you need to give him like, you know, some breathing room for him to respond. Yes. Next thing, emotions.
Emojis. Oof. Emojis. Risky business. I would avoid them as much as possible because you can really ruin a banger sext just by adding the wrong emoji or a dumbass emoji. Yes. And like why even risk it? Yes. Like honestly.
Honestly, when guys throw in that like smirky face or the peach or the eggplant, like it's all been said and done. Like, I don't know. It's just kind of like childish to me. It's kind of corny. I mean, like I'll use a devil face like when I'm trying to imply something slutty. Sure. But I'm not putting that after an elaborate sex I just wrote. Mm hmm.
You let the words do the talking. It's poetry. I've written poetry and I'm not going to dirty it up with picture. It doesn't need it. The written word is enough. Okay. The other thing, you should be texting back pretty quickly. Yes, that's a huge one. Yeah. This isn't like a send it and then put your phone in your fucking desk drawer at work and like peace out for three hours. Yeah. You need to like make sure that you both can like
back and forth or it loses its touch. It's done. Yeah, like you can't just run in the bathroom when you're having family dinner, you know, send a...
voice message of your vagina and then come back to your dinner table like that's not no no no no it's not gonna work that's absolutely not gonna work i mean three hours later you are gonna be in a completely different headspace or he is yeah he doesn't have a boner anymore right it's like you gotta and you gotta keep up the momentum like when it's actually happening and
I mean, honestly, though, I feel like if you hit a guy with a sext at any moment of the day, like a man will just get a boner.
That's true. But for the purposes of sexting, it's like, what's the point? It's like, we're here now. That's kind of an interesting thing to think about is when do you end the sexting? Yeah, that's a good question. How does it end? Right. Because like, you know, sometimes, like you said, it will end with like a masturbation and, you know, someone will come, whatever. But like, how does it end if not? You're like...
God, you broke my back last night. Like, I love being your toaster strudel. And then the next one. Hey, do you need any milk from the store? Like, how does that go? I know it's kind of weird to like transition. I think sometimes you call them and you'll be like, fuck, like that was so hot. I can't wait to fuck you. And then like new convo. Or then you do wait the three hours and be like, fuck, babe. Like I got caught up at work. But I am always.
I don't know if it's because I'm lazy and like I just don't want to put in the time and effort. Like I hit a certain threshold when I'm sexting where I'm like, I'm over it. Yeah. I'm bored. I'm not going to sit here and sext you for an hour. I just I'm not going to do it. Just come over and fuck me. OK. I do like it, though. It's like foreplay. It's fun. It is fun. Last thing that I want to say about this is.
There is a fucking website that will help you practice sexting. And you heard that correctly. Alex and I were just on it. We were just playing with it.
And it helps you practice your dirty talk over text with a chat bot or like a robot. Yes. It's actually legit. Yeah, it was actually a lot of fun. It was fun. And the robot or whatever fucking thing they had texting was saying some wild ass dirty shit. Yes, they were creative as fuck.
Fuck. Creative as fuck. Dirty as fuck. Could give you some ideas of things you could say. And also like you can just sit there and fucking practice with them all day. And they fucking respond within two seconds and they respond with good ass shit. I was very impressed, guys. It's called Slut Bot by Juice Boxx.
Go look at that website and even just for fun, check it out because Alex and I were having a field day. It's so fun. But be careful. I do have a little warning with it. Okay. If you are seeing someone, the slut bot doesn't give up.
Sophie and I texted it yesterday. Yeah. We both got a text today like, hey babe, like you want to play doctor patient role play? Like I'm so horny right now. Just imagine you sitting next to your boyfriend and that popping up from a random number. Yes. Be fucking careful with this thing. And yeah.
Guys, that is kind of my sexting tip 101 lecture. And you guys are dismissed.
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Let's get into questions. SOS, save our sleuths. I'm on my, I'm on demon time. Go.
Goblin time. I'm on my fucking A game right now. I'm ready to give the best advice ever. So let's get into it. First question. Hi, Sophia. I recently started dating a guy and he keeps his eyes closed during sex a majority of the time, like probably 90% of the time. I've slept with my fair share of people and I haven't encountered this before. The
The lack of eye contact makes me insecure, but I'm most certain he's attracted to me because he shows lots of physical affection otherwise. And we've been seeing each other for quite a bit. What could be the reason for no eye contact? And how do I bring this up with him? Because I think he's a really great guy other than this one thing. Thanks so much. I love you. Okay, so there are a few reasons that I think he might be doing this.
One is he's thinking of other shit. He's fucking closing his eyes and he's picturing another girl or he's picturing another guy or he's picturing, you know, a fucking baseball game.
so he doesn't come too quick. Oh, that's a good point. See, I think it could be like any of those things. Yes. So it could be any of those things. I think the fact that he's consistently seeing her means he's probably not thinking of other girls, other dudes, right? Yes. Because like if it's to the...
I have to go there. But I mean, I think if it was if it was that bad that a guy had to like have his eyes closed the whole time so he could like picture himself fucking someone else. He probably wouldn't be consistently seeing you and like be all over you like how she said. No. So I think maybe he does it so that he doesn't come too quick.
Or I think that it just feels that fucking good. And that is just how some people are. I mean, I'm like trying to think of the ratio between my eyes being open or closed while I'm like fucking or getting eaten out. I have them closed for like a decent amount of time. Really? Yeah. I mean, yeah, same that or my face is shoved into the pillow. It's not like you can fucking see my eyes anyway. Yeah.
What a sweet, sweet relationship and sex that you have. It's not always like that. I mean, no, it's not. Obviously, like when we're getting like down and dirty, but like. Alex, are you telling me every time you fuck your face is in the pillow? Because I have news for you. No. Okay. So, I mean, do you close your eyes or not?
Like sometimes. Not really, though. I don't think I do. I feel like they're open like the whole time. Shut up. Yeah. Oh, my God. Especially if a guy's eating me out. My eyes are closed. I'm going to say like 70% of the time. Well, yeah, when he's eating me out. Yeah. But like when you guys are fucking like missionary, like my eyes are open. Like I do like open my eyes and turn my head a lot of times. Like a lot of the times I'm just like staring at the wall or something. I don't really fucking.
really fucking know. I don't think they're close. The two examples you just gave are my head is shoved in the pillow so I can't open my eyes or I'm staring at the wall. You're just you're making it sound like your sex is something it's not because I know you have good sex. No, I hear you. Yeah, my eyes will be open. I'll be looking at the sex act that's happening. His bicep. What about eye contact? How often are we doing that one?
When he's, like, missionary and you guys are looking into each other's eyes, like... Passion. I'm getting horny just thinking about it. This girlfriend, I honestly would just, like, say something to him. Yeah, and, like, you can make it dirty talk, you know? Yeah. Like...
I want you to see it go in and out or something. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Like, oh my God, it's so hot. Like your dick going in and out. Like, look. Yeah. Like, you know. Yes. I think that is the solution. And I don't think it's something to be worried about. I think bring it up. You can bring it up in dirty talk and that's it. Okay. Next question. Can I buy a pair of your used socks? Yeah.
This is not the first time I've been asked this. My answer is if the price is right. Definitely. If the price is right. I mean, I don't think there's anything I wouldn't sell to someone if like the money was there. For sure. I have been asked by people. I'm sure you have too. To sell my socks or panties and stuff like that. I have not done it before.
Because I don't want it to be like a fucking like prank or a trick. And then I like go through with the whole thing. And they're like, yeah, like give me your Venmo and I send it. And then they screenshot it and they post it and they just make fun of me and it goes viral. Ooh.
You know what I'm saying? Like, oh my God, like, Sophia was actually going to send me her used panties. Like, she's down bad. That's a good point. That's kind of why I've avoided it. If you are doing this and you're going to UPS or wherever you're going, don't put a return address. No. This person should not have your fucking address, by the way. But yeah, if you want to buy a pair of my socks, you can. I'm only going to put in the effort if you're offering me...
$5,000. Jesus Christ. Three. Maybe I'd do it for a four. $4,000. Final answer if that's what you want to Venmo me. And you have to Venmo me up front or at least Venmo me half. I'm not playing this game. Well, unlike Sophia, I'll give you a deal. Okay. Anything above $500. You're open. I'm sold.
And my feet are perfect also. Okay, maybe I'll throw in a little feet pic too. Oh my God. So generous. You know, the other thing about this, Alex, though, is when someone wants used socks, they want used socks. It's not like you took a shower, put socks on, walked around your house, and then you send them. It's like you went to the gym, you went on a hike.
you walked around Disneyland. Like those are the socks like they're looking for. They want like the ones that are like hard and like crusty. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, I can do that. That's what they want. So my feet don't really smell. Do yours? I mean, not necessarily, but like I'm sure if I wore socks for like a few days, like there would be a scent to it. Sure. And then what if they outed you? That's the other thing. Hey, I got a pair of Sophia's fucking socks and like it was like the worst smell ever.
Who cares? I've had way worse things said about me. For sure. So yeah, you can buy a pair of my socks, but you got to pay half of it up front and it's got to be 4K minimum.
Okay? That's all I have to say. All right, Alex, would you like to read this? Yes, I would love to. Thank you. Hey, Sophia, when I was listening to the show and you were talking about how to make a guy think you have options, it gave me an idea that I don't think you've talked about on the podcast before. So I hooked up with this guy I met at the bar, and when we were laying in the bed the next morning, he was showing me something on his phone, and he went into his text messages, and I saw a girl's name. I didn't think too much of it, obviously, because we had just met.
But I decided to look the girl's name up under his Instagram followers just to see the other kind of girls he's talking to. I'm really not sure if guys would care enough to do this, but it gave me the idea to change the names of like two of my most recent texts to guys' names.
before hanging out with him and choosing names of two attractive guys that follow me on Instagram so that if he does look up the names for my Insta following, he'll see that I'm talking to two other attractive guys, lol. Curious if you've ever done this before. Hahaha, XOXO.
I have options. And you know what? I fucking love this idea. Me too. Anything you want to do to let a guy know you have options, I'm all for it. I just like want to break this down a little bit. So basically...
She is going to change the names of her two most recent texts to guys' names. And those guys' names are going to be names of guys that are hot that follow her on Instagram. And then she's going to pull up the text. He's going to see those, like, two dudes' names and, like, potentially ghost talk her Instagram. Yes. This girl is wondering if guys do this because, obviously, I mean, as a girl, like—
The second I'm talking to a guy and he tells me the name of any fucking girl he's slept with, talked to, anything, I run to Instagram and like look them up. Yeah. Guys do this too. Okay. Cat's out of the bag. Cat is out of the bag. I actually had this happen where is I posted something that didn't have that much info. It just had the name. And one of these guys I was talking to,
did exactly this, went to my Instagram, went to my following, which I have quite a few followers. I think he probably also saw that I was following this guy back. And yeah,
like brought it up to me. So yeah, guys do the same shit. Guys are out here being just as fucking nosy as girls are. So I think this shit would work. For sure. What do you think, Alex? Do you love this? Because I love this. I love it. It kind of reminds me of like, because like, I feel like people usually do the opposite. Like when you're talking to a guy, like,
You don't want him to see that like you're talking to other guys, you know? I think it depends what type of guy you're fucking with. Some guys that are maybe a little bit more old school or overly jealous or love to jump to the if a girl has slept with more than five guys, she's a slut. They're like that type of guy. He doesn't want to see guys names on your phone. No.
But that's also not the type of guy we want to fuck around with. There are certain guys that that would not work. I think for most secure men, this would shake up that security a little bit. Especially if he's the one that has girls popping up on his phone. Yes. You have one girl. We have three guys. Thank you. Also, now that I'm thinking about it, you could put any name in there.
Brad Pitt, obviously that one's like way too far off. But like you could put like maybe like a CD-less celebrity name in your phone. For sure. G-Eazy. He's like no way you talk to G-Eazy. You could be like, yeah, like we like talk here and there. That one's like actually, yeah, very believable. Really? You could like put any fucking celeb's name in there. Hell yeah. Gotta love it. Okay. Next question.
This is a total swerve. This is actually really serious. This person wrote in and they said, so, so thankful for the social support you have been providing me with for the past three years. I'm really thankful for you and your family and friends for giving me something to look forward to. I was set up by a friend I work with to be trafficked and sexually assaulted after being drugged.
The shit you stand for and talk about supported me in a way I can't even explain. Thanks for being there for me when I really needed a friend. You resurfaced the same week I realized what happened to me and I don't know where I would be without you. You're so amazing and I hope you keep on shining. Aww.
Okay, me all emotional. I'm like, not even kidding. That just like broke my heart. I am so, so, so, so sorry that this happened to you. I can't even imagine what you went through and...
Honestly, the fact that I was able to be a friend and support this girl, Alex, like without me even realizing it, that shit makes me so emotional. It really does. Yes. You, girlfriend, whoever wrote this in, you are, I just want to say like such a huge inspiration to share her story like this. You are one strong ass motherfucking bitch.
And I would like to take this time to point out that
Unfortunately, people who you think are your friends can very easily turn out to be very bad people. And you can never really let your guard down. And sex trafficking is very, very real, people. Like, we only know a fraction of how many cases there really are out there. Yeah. And I don't think it's really talked about enough at all. So I do just want to say...
everyone, obviously you always need to be careful, but also look out for people. Look out for people who look like they might be in a not safe situation. There are signs that you can look for to save someone's life. Yes. And I also want to say thank you so much for writing this in. Like you are the reason that
Sophia and I do what we do. Everyone who listens to this show, I don't care if I sound cheesy. I don't give a fuck. Like, you are my friend. If you see me out, like, we are taking shots together. It's like an intimate community. We talk about extremely intimate, serious things. And that's it. So...
I love you, Slu. And I don't even want to say thank you for the compliments because it really wasn't me who got you through this. You got yourself through this. You did this shit.
So, I mean, I was just playing in the background. And if that made you smile or forget about a terrible, horrifying thing or day, then my job is beyond complete. I mean, that is at the end of the day, the most satisfying thing. And I can die happy like knowing that. So thank you so much for being vulnerable. And I love you so much.
With that, Alex, I think we are done here. I guess next episode, I am going to be living in New York, which is fucking insane to say. Alex, where can they find you? You can find me on Instagram at AlexFranco underscore meow. Okay. And you can find me, Sophia The Neff, Franklin with a Y. My TikTok, guys, I have been giving you the wrong screen name for my TikTok for the last...
over a year that I've been doing this podcast. It's not just my name. It's Sophia Franklin and the number zero. So that was really cool to find out. Yeah. Sophia is not famous enough to have it just be her name. I'm pissed. Whoever has Sophia Franklin, you better fucking turn that account over now. And as always, you guys, if there's anything you do more than follow me or follow Alex,
share the podcast with someone share an episode share a clip that is why we can keep making this show bottom line i love you guys so much talk to you next week
