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Welcome to Sophia with an F. The F stands for phenomenal. Where do we even begin? Oh, pregnancy update. Hi, guys. My mom is in her third trimester and I'm now a size of a grapefruit.
I already have an Instagram account and we are working on getting me verified. Thanks, mom, for exploiting me. Just kidding, guys. I have not had a period and I have not taken a pregnancy test. So take that as you will. Not that I think it fucking matters considering it would be a fetus deletus. Expecto Patronum. I think we all know. However, something...
very interesting came to my attention. I had a lot, a lot, a lot of women reach out to me saying that they too are having irregular periods. And it's not just because we're all sleuths and we're connected at the hip and we all linked up cycles. It's after getting vaccinated. So not sure if there's any medical, clinical, factual backing to that, but the more you know.
My episode last week struck a lot of chords. I discussed getting a BBL, aka a Brazilian butt lift, and my DMs were flooded. Apparently, BBLs are not a joke. Alex, I think you may have mentioned something about that last week. By the way, my producer Alex is with us. Hi, Alex.
Alex. Hi, Sophia with an F. Alex, A for asshole attitude and absolute disgrace. Okay. So yeah, I don't know. I guess I think I was very naive when I was talking about the BBLs. It's like an actual invasive plastic surgery procedure. I was kind of thinking it was just...
filler for your butt. A little Juvederm for your butt. That would take a shit ton of fucking syringes. And that's coming from someone that has a shit ton of fucking syringes. So, yeah, no, it's not that. Okay. Okay. Well, you know what? I was naive and every single message I received was a different horror story.
Everything from hating how the fuck it looked, a bunch of wisdom teeth butts, to having like serious complications. So for anybody listening, proceed with caution, please, if you're thinking about getting your ass done. Now.
Guys, I have been dying to get on this mic so I can tell you all what the fuck happened to me this past week. Here we go. I was catching up with some old friends that I used to work with and I was like, oh, I got out of that job. I feel so bad. Just kidding.
Not sure if I've ever, have I ever talked about my friend Mandy on here? I probably said some of her stories and just kept her name out of it. Mandy is the fucking shit. Shout out. Anyways, Mandy starts telling me all the office gossip. And she tells me this girl from work is apparently engaged.
I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm getting there. Okay. So Mandy starts begging me to go with her as her plus one to this girl's wedding, right? And I'm not super close with this girl, but we're cool. I mean, nothing bonds people more than being cube buddies for 60 hours a week, hating your fucking job together. You know what I'm saying? Here's the kicker though.
This girl is marrying her fucking cousin. Okay? What? I don't... I'm not... I don't believe you. I am not making... I mean, we're in Utah, Alex. Is it that crazy? Okay, that's true. I don't know if they're first cousins. I don't know if they're second or third or seventh. I don't know what. I want to say first, honestly. Somewhere along the lines, they're fucking cousins. Okay?
If that is not the most Utah, Alabama shit I have ever heard. I remember her telling me at work about her boyfriend and how great he was and blah, blah, blah, blah. And she had like, you know, the little pictures posted like on her cubicle. And then one time she casually dropped that they were cousins. And I was like, hold up.
What? She was so casual about it. What the fuck? I remember her saying it and saying like, oh my God, I know it's kind of crazy. Like our parents don't love it, but what can they do? We're adults. I wonder if their parents are going to the wedding. That's a good question. I sure as hell will not be in attendance. You could not pay me to go to that wedding.
I doubt that that is the only incest happening in that family. That shit is learned behavior. And I'm not about to show up to a wedding where kids with six arms and two heads are popping out. Oh my God.
A bunch of little Babe Ruths from the Goonies running around. I'm not down. Okay, the way they found out is actually pretty crazy. It gets crazier? Yes. God. So they were in their early stages of dating and they both had a family reunion coming up. It ended up being the same fucking family reunion. Oh my God. That is how they found out.
And she was telling me this and she was just laughing. And she was like, oh, girl, like we did not show up together. I promise you. What? I was just sitting there thinking, wait, stop.
So once you find out that you have been fucking your cousin, would you not run to the nearest church and say 87 Hail Marys and douse your head in holy water? Yes. And beg for an exorcism from the priest? Yes.
I would flee the country. I would too. What like what am I missing? Yeah, this is wild. So you find out that you are related to this dude and you just continue fucking. So gross. I did ask her if she thought about breaking up with him when she found out. And she said that she did. But ultimately, this guy was the love of her life. And she's never had that kind of connection with anybody, which sucks.
No shit. You guys have a connection. You're fucking cousins. The chemistry must be fucking on fire. Fireworks. Because you guys share DNA. Same blood. Yeah. Oh, you guys have a connection? A blood connection, actually. So that's my story, guys. I...
will not be going to that fucking wedding. I'm sorry. She is not having children with him. So thank God for that, at least. And if you're listening, wondering how that's even legal, it is. Look it up. At least in a lot of states. California being one of them. I was very surprised. God.
I hope I didn't offend anyone who's working their cousin right now. Feel free to DM me and tell me what I'm missing. Crazy world we live in, honestly. I guess the dating pool is just that fucking bad, huh? Damn. Okay, let's move on to my favorite segment to introduce.
University. Class is officially in session and you can all sit your BVL asses down and shut the fuck up because there are no grades here. You either sleep your way to an A or you don't. Sit your BVL asses down and shut the fuck up. I want to talk about sex because why the fuck not? It's been a while. Plus,
Plus, I'm actually extremely hungover and horny. Alex, do you get horny when you're hungover? Wait, yes. What is it about being hungover that makes it the biggest aphrodisiac? Can you please tell me? Sex is the best hair of the dog. It's really the best hair. It really, really is. Fuck your bloody Mary. Get a dick penetrated inside ass, mouth or vagina. There's like
It doesn't make sense, though. Logically, what? Something about being nauseous and barely able to move just sets the mood. I don't know why. Maybe because you're like desperate for anything that will make you feel better. I don't fucking know. Sex, sleuths. Pay attention, please. Stop going off the curriculum. This is serious.
Because we are talking about foreplay today. When you hear the word foreplay, what do you think about? Maybe some dry humping, some sucking on the titties, a little clit rub over the panties, a little dick rub-a-dub-dub over his boxers. I was just going to say fingering and oral. Yes, absolutely. The basics. The basics. Those two. But not so fast. Slow...
your fucking role, everybody, because you're all wrong. Foreplay, actually, contrary to popular belief, starts way before the bedroom. And I'm not talking about some wine and dine shit. I'm talking about something else. Level up foreplay. Foreplay is building up so much anticipation during the day that he creams his fucking pants before he can even get you back to his apartment.
Whether you realize it or not, foreplay is happening and you should be aware of it and you really should be utilizing it. We always talk about how women need foreplay. So do men. I mean, no, they actually like really don't. I was gonna be like, what?
They really actually don't. But do you know how fun it is to get in this guy's head and get him so turned on? He's having to rearrange and hide the boner in his pants every five seconds. Having that kind of power...
Fun. Power over his dick? When you control the penis, you control the man. Yes. My favorite pastime. I'm going to tell you guys all of the different ways you can be out here foreplaying like a professional fucking athlete. It's a sport.
Similar to a basketball game. Here we go. Michael Jordan. I know he's a fucking basketball player. You are Scottie Pippen. You just need Michael Jordan, who is aka foreplay in this analogy, to give you that assist and boom, score, dunk it, three pointer. You win the game. Tag. You're out. We're playing tag now. Hole in one. Fucking killed it. Bye. Touchdown.
Touchdown. You win the game. He jizzes in his pants. So there are a couple ways to do this. And let's start with some basic ones and then ramp it the fuck up, shall we? Number one, and I shouldn't even call it basic because I always forget that I have this in my back pocket.
A sext. The power of a sext. Alex, do you know what a sext is? No, Sophia. Why don't you let me know? You do know what it is. Then why'd you ask? A sexual text. Sending him the nastiest text you can think of while he's at brunch with his family. An example. I am so fucking horny thinking about you. Easy. Or maybe you're not that type of gal and you're not trying to send him...
some wild ass shit while he's at brunch and you want to play it a little coy, that's fine. Send him a text message that says excited for tonight with a winky face. The smirk face. Okay. Hit him with the smirk and an eggplant. He'll know, he'll know what's going on.
This girl is trying to be coy. She's not hitting him with the eggplant. Okay, okay, the smirk. The smirk, that's fine. Alex over here, the eggplant and the water squirting and the peach emoji, which leads me to my next point. Second thing, maybe you don't want to be as direct and you know you're going to be seeing him later. So you just post on social media. Obviously,
Obviously posting a cute selfie or a gym selfie to your story, that will do the trick. But maybe you don't fucking have any. You scroll through your camera roll and it's all pictures of fucking food and your dog. That's fine. You don't even need to be in this picture. And let me explain.
Post something, anything sexual to your story. We all follow pages that post random, hot, provocative photos of some kind. I'm thinking 90s anxiety or 90s perspective, whatever the fuck those Instagram pages are. Or even Bella Hadid. We all follow her, right? A picture of Bella in bondage on the set of some risque photo shoot
Re-post that shit to your story right now. Because just doing that will get him thinking sexually about you. Trust me, the men in my DMs let me know all the time. But yeah, this actually has worked for me. Really? I have posted a page out of a Playboy magazine on my story. And I ended up going home with a guy that swiped up and was like, this could be us.
And it was us. Stop. Full proof. Wait, what was the page? It wasn't like full frontal nudity. No, it was like two people hooking up. Okay. See, this shit like really works. And the guy automatically is thinking about you sexually though. I once reposted a painting that I loved. I found it off some like random art page. It was of a topless woman, nude.
not vulgar at all, very tasteful, brush strokes, muted colors, not like, you know, porn shit. And I had 50 fucking dudes respond back. Damn, Sophia got me thinking dirty things about you now. Like I posted a picture of a beautiful painting and it was of a woman's body and somehow it's
guys are now like, oh, I wonder how Sophia would look naked in fucking her. They're so stupid. You know what the real challenge here is? Try to post something that he won't take sexually. Yeah. That is a fucking challenge. Every single dude's mind is constantly in the gutter. It's wild. Basically...
Ladies, post anything you find hot and it will get him lusting after you. Literally anything. Okay, quick one. This is not sexual at all and it's going to sound extremely fucking random, but it works. Posting or saying anything related to work. I don't know why men get so sexually aroused hearing girls talk about work, but they do.
If you post a pic of yourself in the office...
Or you text him saying you killed it at your work meeting. He will probably go and masturbate and be thinking about you for the rest of the day. Don't ask me why, but it's true. And it's facts. Okay. Guys love a working woman. They do. They really do until you ask them for a raise and then they don't want to give it to you. Stay greedy, bitches. We're here to get our worth. Okay. On to my favorite of all the foreplays.
Dinner for me is the best time for foreplay. I feel like an animal let out of its cage. This is where I thrive. Yes. What you wear to dinner is vital. And let me just say it. A little mystery goes a long way.
way. Feminists do not come for me. If we want to dress for the male gaze on a date, fine. If you want to say, fuck them, I'm dressing for me, fine. I am one of you. Okay. Back in the day when I was young and dumb, I would show up to dates, and this is a true story,
With my tits duct taped together, two double padded bras on and a low cut shirt. I remember this phase. One of my favorite Sophia phases. And then later when I'd go to hook up with him, the duct tape would come off and I'd have like all the residue all over my tits. He's like, why are your boobs so sticky? Also, why are your boobs so small? They were in E cup a second ago.
Now that I'm older and wiser, let me just make it very clear. Showing less is more, especially when it comes to foreplay. And now I'm not saying show up frumpty dumpty sat on a wall raggedy on raggedy ass bitch. I didn't call my company Sloot Media for nothing. Okay. You want these girls to pull up in some Billie Eilish attire?
Just a bag of shit. He has no clue what body is under there. No, but you're on the right track. We are not trying to hide your body. We are just trying to show it off tactfully. Wear something tight and form fitting. For example, my girlfriend can vouch for this. And by my girlfriend, I mean a fellow salute media employee who we're talking to about this.
She went on a date and she wore a tight turtleneck bodysuit with jeans.
And the guy made a comment about it later, which we will get to. If he can only make out the outline of your boobs and ass because you are covered head to toe, he's going to be thinking the whole time, oh my God, I wonder what she looks like naked. Building anticipation. Make him squint for it. More skin does not equal more lust.
Maybe if you're walking on the side of the road, sure. But you get my point. And back to my friend who wore the bodysuit and the jeans, the guy, they started dating for a minute. He ended up telling her later that what she wore on that first date was so fucking sexy to him. He was thinking to himself, I need to know what this girl looks like naked now. There you have it, okay? And this is my last one. Physical touch. Okay.
Any physical contact outside of the bedroom. Squeezing his arm as you're laughing. Oh my God, Brad, that was so funny. You squeeze his little tiny ass tricep. Is that a tricep? Whatever. Yes. Putting your hand on his leg.
I mean, if you really want to go there, go ahead and set it by the crotch area. But I think you should start slow and just kind of place it maybe around the knee. No, maybe that's like a little too modest. Place it in the middle of the thigh. I think that's a good one. Mid-thigh. Kick them under the table.
Yeah, that's a fucking great one. Play a little footsie though. Give him a little rub. I feel like dudes actually do that. They do. They think it's funny. They do. A little touch though. I remember when I was 12 years old. You guys know the drill. Just little hand gestures, okay? Pull his hair. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck you teenagers do these days. Remember...
It's the things you do earlier in the night that create buildup and make him horny for you. And if you aren't trying one of these things out, then you're not foreplaying correctly. Class dismissed.
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have a confession. I know that my life looks perfect on paper, but looks can be deceiving. And when I notice myself doing something toxic, I know that my sleuths are out here doing the same shit.
And it's time for us to do a reset right here, right now. All of us need to stop comparing ourselves to other women. And I know that's impossible in the society we live in, but I'm talking about something personally that I have battled. And to be very specific, I'm
comparing myself to his ex-girlfriends or past hookups even. So my boyfriend has been traveling a shit ton for work lately. He has been in LA every other week, if not more. I hadn't seen him in a few days.
And that stupid little voice that acts up when you're bored started talking. Sophia, you haven't seen him in a couple days. Time to start a fight. You know the voice I'm talking about. That little devil on your shoulder. Yes. So my mind starts racing. I started thinking about all the girls he knows in LA. And so I did a thing. I went to stock. Stock.
For fun. And I know you guys, every single one of you who's listening, you have done it too. You know where your man's ex lives, what she does for a living and her social security number. So I call him because I was really about to go down this rabbit hole. I just blurted out, can you just give me the last name of that one girl you dated in 2018? I don't fucking know.
He was frazzled, but also it's not that fucking out of character coming from me because I'm me. He did not get mad though. He knows way better than to get mad at me for shit like that. That is a waste of energy on his part. Ladies, find yourself a man who puts up with your cray, okay? Because they also secretly love it. Anyways, the thing is,
He would not tell me.
He would not give it up. I am admittedly pretty fucking good at getting men to tell me shit. He would not give it up. Okay, manipulative. Okay, I'm going to revoke your psychology degree because you're self-diagnosing. He would not give me this girl's last name. Okay, so then he was cheating. No! Cat's out of the bag. You know...
No, that's exactly what I said to him, though. I was like, what? What is she wanted by Interpol? Is she a flight risk? Are you hiding a fugitive? Like, give me the last name. Give it the fuck up. To be honest, though, I'm glad he didn't tell me. Because after my insecurity flare up went away.
And we talked through it. I felt fine. And he saved me two days worth of unnecessary trauma and hurting my own feelings. Alex, if he would have given me her last name, as soon as that man blurted out the last syllable, I would have hung up the phone, put him on do not disturb, grabbed a bag of popcorn, gone on to my fake account, requested
to follow every Marissa Lynn 427 that exists on planet Earth. Refresh it every 10 seconds to see if she accepted the request. It's so fucking real, though. It's so real. And once I found her, would it have made me feel better? I mean, maybe.
I mean, maybe for a second, because I would just convince myself how much better I am than her. I'd be like, oh, my God, like that Chanel. Just kidding. I own fucking two Chanel's and I did not pay for them and I don't own nice things. OK, but I would still find something she had that I didn't and be like,
Oh, okay. So my boyfriend does like huge tits. How interesting. I didn't know that about him. Do you know why women really love to stalk, Alex? Maybe because we love to self-inflict torture on ourselves. That's part of it, but that's not what it really is. It's the chase.
It is the thrill of tracking down the girl's profile. Yes. You feel like a real life Nancy Drew solving a case. Yes. Hand me a magnifying glass. It's like playing Clue, my favorite board game, but in real life.
The thing is, is once you find the girl you're looking for, you get the most disgusting feeling of satisfaction. And that feeling is so fleeting. It's fun for two seconds and then you just feel bad. I dated a dude once.
He was a man whore, but that is besides the point. He was older than me and he had dated a lot of women. The majority of them were Asian women. And I convinced myself that he had a type and I didn't fit the mold. I looked nothing like that.
And so I thought to myself, oh, I must be the girl he got by default or some shit. It made me extremely fucking insecure and I couldn't wrap my head around it, which is so stupid looking back. But you all know you want to be the hottest girl that your guy has ever been with. And don't lie. Hottest girl with the tightest pussy ever, ever, ever, ever that he's ever had. Why do women do this shit? Right.
Come on. Just because he's dated blondes in the past means he can't like brunettes now? Please. It's ridiculous. You think for even two seconds that your boyfriend has ever tried to look up one of your exes and been like, damn, she dated a dude with a six pack. Why is she dating me, bro? Fuck no.
No, no. Men are very good at not going out of their way to hurt their own feelings. Honestly, because they don't give a fuck. Yeah, I was like, they don't give a shit. They don't. But like, we got to give credit where credit's due. As women, we can learn something from that. And thank God, thank God men don't do that. If my boyfriend looked up my dating history, I would be single right now.
I do not need him knowing that I had the upgrade of the century, okay? Keep them humble. Never let them know how hot or cool they are. I guess maybe not all comparison is bad because your dating history can land you people out of your league. All it took was Madison Beer and now Zach Bia can take his pick from the litter. He can date anyone. But I digress.
Women are just masochists. It's not even our fault, though. But it is such a waste of energy. You are never going to go down that rabbit hole and feel better. He is dating you now, and that is all that matters. Let that sink in. Mic drop. Profit Sophia with an F.
promise you, you preoccupying yourself with what Marissa Lynn 427 posted in 2018 is not going to help you find the answers you're looking for because there is no fucking answer. You seeing how much fun she had at a fucking bar mitzvah, what the fuck are you guys doing? You are way better off spending that time in therapy. Trust me, I'm looking at the man in the mirror, I'm talking to myself, but
Go to therapy and spend that time wisely and work on your self-esteem issues. If that sounds harsh, get over it. It's just the truth. I mean, people are still comparing Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston because of the fact that they both dated Brad Pitt. Yes. 2,700 years ago. Wow.
But we don't need to contribute and do it to each other. You and his ex probably would get along way better than you would with a lot of girls on this earth. You guys both sucked the same dick. That's a great point. He is with you now. Let his ex be just that, his ex. And that goes for new women he's dating.
His new girlfriend does not concern you. Do not compare yourself to his new girl, okay? You should not be obsessing over your man's ex. Your man's ex should be obsessing over you, boo. Yes, I love it. You do realize that we just blew up that entire fucking segment. Whatever. Questions. Questions.
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S.O.S. Save our sleuths. You are in for one hell of a fucking ride with this segment this week, partially because I have two brain cells left, partially because the sleuths are on one demon time this fucking week. OK, number one.
Hi, Sophia. I have a three-month-old baby and my husband cheated on me at the strip club when he was in New York City for a work trip. He admitted everything to me when he got back. We are resolving things, but I'm obviously still pissed. I secretly found out the girl's name. They fucked without a condom and she took Plan B the next day. She texted him that. I
This happened last month and I kind of want to call the strip club and let them know that girls are fucking their clients unprotected. I'm not putting the blame on the girl, but I feel bitter. Should I call or just let it go? Bye.
That is so fucking sad. First and foremost, I just want to say I am so, so, so, so sorry. You're pregnant. I can't even imagine what that feels like. She has a three month old baby. Why am I allowed to do this?
Okay, my apologies. A three-month-old baby still getting cheated on. Worst feeling in the world. And she is fucking staying at home with this newborn almost.
Like, that is just so fucked up. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's so terrible. She can't go to a New York strip club right now. She's being a mom. So, fuck this guy. Next thing I want to say. I...
it's probably really hard to direct your anger at him. He's your baby daddy. He's like a new father and you don't want to be angry at your baby's dad, but I would just suggest you leave
leave the girl at the strip club alone because your husband deserves all of the anger the girl at the strip club was probably lied to by your husband for sure your husband was like uh i am not married i'm single or like i'm going through a divorce or my wife is dead men are disgusting yeah b
She's getting fucking paid. Like she's just doing her job. You're still going to have all the same feelings. You getting the stripper fired is not going to take the feelings of betrayal down.
all of those things away. Yeah. Leave the stripper alone. Best wishes for the baby and you. If you are resolving things with your husband, you can resolve things with the stripper. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's true. If you're going to forgive him, you have to forgive her. 100%. Ooh, I want to roast this guy. Yeah. Fuck you, guy. But they're working on things. Next,
Next on the list. Hi, Sophia. Love the pod. Just wanted to say that our attorney will get us out of everything. Tank has been an absolute game changer. It makes my boobs and waist look so fucking good. And my boyfriend legit can't get enough of me when I wear it.
My boyfriend is in Greece right now with his friends. And when I'm wearing this shirt, he will legit leave his friends and go into the bathroom and will have FaceTime sex with me. Also, I am obsessed with the hoodie. I bought it to support you. And it has legit become a staple in my wardrobe. Did you write this in Alex? No.
Um, you did. Who on the Sloot Media team wrote this shit in? Literally, you better come forward right now.
But really, guys, we are fucking kidding. We would never do that. A slew did write this in. And you know what? She has a fucking point. Dude, this tank. I'm actually wearing it right now. It is my fucking favorite. I love that you bring the point about making your boobs look good. Girl, girl, my boobs look amazing in this tank. I fucking love it. I'm looking at them. They look great, especially like when you have a little RT going on.
For the young people listening that used to stand for rock tit, not retweet. But if you wear that fucking thing without a bra, lethal weapon. Your hard nipples just kind of poking through. It's it's dangerous. Cut diamonds. Those bad boys. I don't make things that I wouldn't fucking wear myself every single day. And I do wear every single day.
I actually wore the tank top as a bikini top with these like bright neon orange bikini bottoms. And then I just tied the tank. So it was like fitting super tight on my body. It was so fucking cute and it was really, really hot. So that's how I've styled it also. Wet t-shirt contest. Yeah.
All right, next. Alex, you want to take it over? Yes. You go, girl. All right. Important question for the Queen's Sloot.
I was at lunch over the weekend with some friends and the topic of body count came up. My friends, all guys, said that third base oral counts as a body. I strongly disagreed with this, so we all posted a poll on Instagram asking if third base counts as a body. It was pretty much an even split for the results and almost everyone who voted yes was a guy. I never realized there was such a huge difference in opinion on this topic. Love you. What? In tarnation? What?
What? Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. So basically, men are out here trying to say that oral counts as a body.
So apparently if you suck a dick, you have to add that to your body count. That's fucking in what fucking world? I mean, my body count wouldn't would not go up. How old are you? But like if you think I am sucking a guy's dick and not fucking him.
I am 29 years old. Like, I'm not doing that shit. No. How fucking old are we? So, I mean, my body count didn't change. If he's not penetrating you with his penis, I wouldn't count that either. And to be honest, there's penises that do penetrate me and I still don't even fucking count. That's a very good fucking point. We count who we want to count. So thank you for fucking pointing that one out, Alex. What about eating ass?
Does that count? Good point. Does that count towards your fucking body count? Eating pussy. Does that count? I mean, it should. Quick tip. If you do want to cheat on your man, definitely make sure you have sex. If you think he's going to find out or if you want to get back together with him, do not suck the guy's dick. Make sure you only have sex with him because that will bother your boyfriend less. Okay?
and also I think like the reason why the votes for yes to count as a body were so high for men is because men like when they have a lot like a high body count you know they're looked at as like a stud like the cool guy but when girls have like large body counts they're sluts they're whores you know so maybe they're just trying to like
Make themselves seem cooler and count it. Right. They're trying to even the playing field with some like trickery and sorcery. And we're not doing it. No. Fuck your conspiracy theory. We're on to you. Yes. Fuck off. And to this girl's question. No, oral does not fucking count towards your body count. No. All right. Next.
Hey, me again. I love that. Loving the show. I don't know if this is a known thing, but I always put my dildo in the fridge. Someone told me about it ages ago and it's changed my life. Is this a known thing? Let me know or try it and tell me what you think. Dude, I fucking love that. I do too. I can just picture it like
What if they have guests over and someone goes into the fridge and tries to reach for a beer and they just fucking grab like the Jackrabbit thrusting dildo 3000? Like, how do you hide that? Wait, I want to fucking know that, too. I wonder if she's sneaky about it. Like, does she put it in like an old milk carton? Like an empty butter container? Yes. So that is very interesting. This is...
Such a simple concept. But I have never spoken to a friend or anyone who's told me that they've done this. No, I've never heard that. I've never done it. Have you? No, but I would fucking love to. I want to try it now.
I did read about it. This article said the nerve endings are on high alert when you do this and it increases sexual stimulation and pleasure. So, I mean, there's nothing left to say. Oh, my God. We're trying this tomorrow. We're running to the fridge as we speak. Yes. Yes.
Thank you for sharing that tips, Lou. All right, next. Hey, Sophia, I have a bad habit all of the sudden of being a bitch on nights out and snapping at my boyfriend. They're only minor arguments and they are things that I would never pick a fight over when I'm sober.
They are always so stupid. I hate waking up the next morning and apologizing for the night before. I feel annoying. What should I do? Ooh, girlfriend, if this wasn't me six, seven years ago, God damn, this used to be my jam. There is something about
getting drunk with a boyfriend, you feel really comfortable with them. And, you know, I swear it's like somewhere in your subconscious, he's not going to leave you. Like you can get away with that shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. For the most part. I mean, well, yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Very true. But I used to do the same shit like I no matter what, it was just the second I drank a little too much. I wanted to be like a complete bitch to my boyfriend. So, girl, just know that I have been there and I.
I am a testament to the fact that you can change this behavior. Oh. Alex, what about you? Well, when I heard this question, I was like, so that's not normal? Not everyone's mean when they get drunk. Okay, so you're a mean drunk. Yeah, I'm a mean, mean, mean, mean, mean drunk. What? I've ruined so many relationships, romantic, platonic, friendships, relationship with my family members because of being drunk.
So if I have anything to say, I'm going to go ahead and say that maybe drinking isn't for us.
It was that brutal fucking honesty. I mean, it's kind of true. You've never been mean to me when you're drunk. You're my boss. Very true. Maybe you guys need to just like take a little break on the drinking. Just let him know and make it very, very clear that the way you act when you are intoxicated is not who you are as a person and you're working on it.
Pretty simple. If you want my fucked up advice, you should tell him to not engage with you when you are that drunk. When you're dealing with like a super drunk person, it just escalates and gets worse. So yeah, tell him to put your ass to bed and tell him to put his AirPods in. Call it a night. Couldn't have said it better myself. All right, sleuths. That is it for this week. I love you guys so fucking much.
Our attorney will get us out of everything merch. You heard the fucking girl that wrote in, okay? My boobs look great. Her boobs look phenomenal, okay? I'm going to motorboat those things later. Please follow me on all of my socials. So if you're an F, Franklin with a Y, subscribe and rate and review the show. It's kind of crazy, but I still have people that hate me. I have no idea why. And they try to leave me one-star reviews for absolutely no reason. So...
Go ahead and rate me five. And if you're going to rate me less, then don't worry about it. Alex, where can they find you? You can find me at Alex Franco underscore meow on every single social media platform. Every single one. Alex Franco underscore meow. Okay, sleuths. Talk soon. And I will see you next week.
