41: Quit Your Day Job 50:14

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Hi, everybody. Welcome to Sophia with an F. My name is Sophia with an F, last name Franklin with a Y because my parents obviously fucking hate me. As always, if you could rate and review the show, it would help me tremendously. I don't know if you guys knew this. There is a button. I think it's a new feature where you can actually subscribe to the podcast. Did

Didn't find that out until just yesterday. Must be my fucking pregnancy brain. My period is officially three weeks late. Just saying that out loud, my cortisol levels just went through the fucking roof.

I figured maybe this could like be liberating to just like put it out in the open. I genuinely am freaking the fuck out. My period tracker on my phone, I just, I can't even look at it. It's like, it's giving me Amber Alert vibes. And you know what?

I really hate to overgeneralize. I really, really do. But men have it so fucking easy. They do not know what it's like waking up every day, not knowing if you might be pregnant. It's kind of the most stressful thing on planet Earth to just have that thought in the back of your mind all day long. And I know...

what you guys are thinking. Oh my God, Sophia, just go get a pregnancy test, you idiot. Yep, that is what we're all thinking. Alex, you always come in at the most convenient times. Hi, Sophia. My producer, Alex, is here, by the way. How about no? I don't want to just go take a test right now. It doesn't fucking work like that. And let me tell you why, okay? Let me break it down for those of you who don't understand. Okay.

This morning, Alex, by the way, was on my way to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test. And I physically turned my car around and went right back home. Because what if the test came back positive? Think about me getting on this microphone after finding out that I'm pregnant and, you know, trying to say anything. Like, I wouldn't be able to function. I would not be able to get on the mic and be like,

Jeff Bezos is an asshole or whatever the fuck without sobbing. Train wreck. Yes. You have to schedule this shit out. I mean, I don't know. When do you guys decide to get a pregnancy test?

I will say I used to be the type of person where if my period was even a day late, I would be at Walgreens with three different pregnancy tests in hand. And when they all, you know, came out negative, I would then convince myself that they were all false negatives and then think I'm with child until I got my period.

But now that I have, you know, big girl responsibilities, I can't just be taking a pregnancy test all willy nilly and potentially jeopardizing whatever I've got going on that day. Just can't do it, which is probably a sign I shouldn't be having a fucking baby right now. Except didn't I say like a month ago I had baby fever? I was going to say, didn't you just say you wanted one?

I literally like three weeks ago, I was like, I'm ready to have a baby. Still not watching it, by the way.

Wow. Okay. So obviously not ready to be a parent. I will keep you guys updated either with a registry or a Planned Parenthood trip. I'm just going to put it off. I'm just going to keep putting it off and, you know, be like those moms where the baby just falls into the toilet when they're going pee because somehow they had no idea they were pregnant. You've seen that before. No. Well, look it up. It boggles my mind.

The baby will let me know when it's ready. How about that? The baby will let me know, you know? And I know, by the way, a lot of people, probably the majority, don't feel quote unquote ready when they find out. And then they go on to be amazing parents and it's the biggest blessing in their life. I get that. I just...

I'm not. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I don't know why I have to justify that. I guess because I'm 29. You know...

Do you know that meme of Kanye West where he's jumping out of his car and he's holding his MacBook by two fingers, basically? And it looks like it's going to slip and shatter at any second. The caption is like, can't wait to be this rich or some bullshit like that. That is how I picture myself holding a baby. Yeah.

No, literally. Okay, so a laptop is equivalent to a baby. You're just going to dangle it with two fingers like it's a fucking keychain. Yes. That is how I fucking picture it right now. But ask me in like a month and then I'll be like ready to go. That's how it works. Okay, people, let's move on and let's talk a little sex.

Ooh, can you hear that sexual energy through the microphone? You might be able to hear it, but if you saw me right now, you would not be getting that sexual energy. God damn. It's on the big screen. And we are talking about pornography. The eighth wonder of the world.

Everyone, everyone, Alex, you included, beware because this is going to sound very different than what you guys are expecting coming from me and my mouth hole. I have always been huge on porn. Love it, live it, breathe it, do it, whatever the fuck. But my feelings on it are starting to evolve. And don't freak out at me just yet. Let me finish. Stop trying to cut me the fuck off.

Why did I just say that? I seriously sometimes forget you guys are not in the room while I'm talking. Nope, it's just me and you, baby. Well, I never noticed you're here, so. Great, thanks. So porn.

Have I watched it in the last 24 hours? No. Have I watched it in the past week? Yeah. Am I cool with my boyfriend watching it? Absolutely. But I was at dinner the other night on a double date with this other couple and we started talking about porn naturally and the boyfriend started telling me some shit that

I was not fucking expecting, especially coming from a man. And he did tell me not to repeat it, but he doesn't listen to the show and keeping him anonymous, which has worked so fucking well for me in the past. So he told me that he stopped watching porn about five years ago. Hmm.

Do we believe him? No way. No, I don't fucking believe pregnancy tests with a 99.9% accuracy rate. But actually, I do believe him. I do. He said he stopped for a couple of reasons. Number one, his libido started going down. He just wasn't that horny anymore. Number two,

And I asked him, I was like, is it just like when you have to fuck real women because like you're programmed to just like come to porn? And he was like, no, just all around sex drive way lower, which is also interesting to me because and maybe I just like don't watch enough porn. But I feel like once I'm on the porn train, I just want more of it. Yeah.

You know? Absolutely. I mean, even talking about this, I want to pause the recording and power up my computer and fucking get off. Which brings me to my next point.

He said something so poetic, so profound. Fucking Shakespeare would crawl out of his grave and bend this guy over and fuck him in the ass. I'm not even kidding. Anyways, he said that he could not tell the difference between if he was turned on or if he was just turned on by his computer. Let that sink in for a fucking second.

I'm imagining this guy opening up his laptop to send a work email with a huge throbbing boner because he associated it with masturbating. Did a little classical conditioning on himself. Don't know what that means. But yes, Alex, I mean, I personally watch porn on my phone. I don't think I've ever been like, hey, Alex, like, will you hand me my phone and gotten wet? Okay.

I fucking hope not. I've gotten wet around you for other reasons, though.

Catch me in the dryer later. Stuck porn. Okay, back to what the fuck we were talking about. I think this is important to point out because being in touch with your body and your sexual drive, it's part of being a whole ass fucking human and just, you know, your overall health and well-being. This is the last thing he told me. And this could just be a him thing because I've never felt this before.

He said that he started to feel kind of yuck coming to porn and not because porn is gross, like shame or gill or anything like that, but because it felt weird coming to two random ass people having sex. Impersonal, I guess, is the word. So he decided to stop. And he said when he masturbated.

Porn not in the equation any longer. He was just using his own mind. He wouldn't get the yuck feeling. He started to have way more intense orgasms. Hi, like what? And his libido came back full throttle. He was fucking every single thing that walked. And I know that for a fact because I knew him before he fucking started dating his girlfriend. And he was disgusting. He did say, however...

He would watch like homemade videos that he filmed with his girlfriend, which I guess could count as porn. The homemade videos I get, I've come to that. Obviously, I have like a little, you know, file on my phone. Hackers, leave me the fuck alone. Do not come for my iPhone. I will fucking kill you. And they're a lot of fun. But using just your imagination to masturbate, I don't know if I could do it.

I mean, I guess it could be fun because you could imagine literally anything you want. Alex, you could fantasize about me. Stop it. If I'm going to fantasize to get off, I'm going to be thinking about my favorite anime character or something. You fucking

in wood. What, like some Sailor Moon shit? Precisely. All of them. I don't know. I think I would imagine being captured and tied up, but for some reason the guy just mainly cares about me coming. Or girl. I don't even think...

internet porn was available when I was growing up and I had to use my imagination. But now it just seems like it would take a lot of fucking practice and I think I'm just too lazy for it, honestly. Honestly, that is what porn is. Porn

is for lazy people y'all are lazy and you're greedy just like me fucking snatching up every single porn vid you can until you fight the right one bunch of lazy greedy bitches all right i feel like a crazed bible thumper right now even entertaining this shit i do think porn should be approached like you would you know alcohol or a drug even just handle with care

Because it's been so...

so fucking normalized and forget like porn jizz or you jizz or whatever the fuck it's called. We've got Snapchat premium. We've got only fans. We've got, you know, a million more platforms coming our way that are going to like be the same thing. And I support it. 100%. Get that bag. Get that nut. I'm down. Just be aware of what your mind is ingesting on a regular basis.

especially for all the children's listening, okay? By the way, we do not support unethical porn though, right Alex? No, no. We always respect sex workers of any kind. Just take it in stride. Happy masturbating, sleuths.

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We are doing a little 180 here, folks, and we're going to talk career advice. Alex is fucking yawning. You know what, Alex? When you get older and you want to change your careers, you will actually care, okay? You yawn all day, every single day. Narcolepsy, look it up. Do you really? No, I really don't. Well, you have some other condition. We should probably get to the bottom of it. Anyways. Anyways.

I get asked all the fucking time, Sophia, how did you change careers and how did you change it? And so drastically, if you're not already familiar, prior to podcasting, I was working in finance on Wall Street in my little pencil skirt, which I'm sure was way too fucking short, hiding the fact that...

I was, you know, up till 5 a.m. doing Molly and getting fucked the night before. And then practically overnight, I became a podcaster at a media company exposing to the world that I was up till 5 a.m. doing Molly and getting fucked the night before. So...

Some of you may know that already. It was a just crazy, crazy, drastic change, obviously. But what you don't know is the mental toll it took me to get there. And I think this is going to resonate with everyone listening. We are told our entire fucking lives, go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, everything will work out. Well, they fucking lied to you, okay? That just...

dream. I guess that's an American dream that was made up by boring people with white picket fences who don't actually care about real happiness and only care about what looks good to other people. Right? Yeah. Okay. And I know it's not for a lot of people and it doesn't have to be

I escaped that, you know, fucking all American dream. I did it through a lot of trial and error, not being scared and embarrassing my mom fucking every single week. Okay. I can vouch for that. The entire family actually. Yeah.

It's so true. Every week, every week. Well, you know what? I'm going to laugh my way to the bank, okay? Bye. Bye, Grandpa. So let me just take you through my journey from the beginning. I started working in finance here in Utah.

almost immediately after I graduated college. And within the first couple of months, my mental health already began to deteriorate because deep down, I just knew this was not the type of shit I was trying to do for the rest of my life.

Quitting though was like never an option. Never, ever, ever. I was so scared of looking like a failure that I just like pushed my feelings aside. And I honestly just didn't know any better. I thought that was just part of being an adult.

was being sad. Pretty much. Like the nine to five corporate cubicle life. And I really just thought anything outside of that was just unattainable. Like working in fashion, being a boss ass bitch, CEO of a company, being

Even on Instagram. Yeah, I was one of those people where I'd look at Instagram and be like, oh, shit, like that would never fucking happen. Yeah, or like everyone on reality TV shows like fucking Kardashian. Exactly. And I was just like, well, obviously, I'm Sophia from Draper, Utah. That's not happening.

Anyways, after a few years of hating every waking moment of my fucking life, I made my move to New York. And I remember telling my mom I want to move. And literally two weeks later, I was living there. So now I'm in New York City. Big fucking apple. Bright lights. Big city, baby. I'm in New York City.

I won't lie. Things did get a little bit better. And I 100% attribute that to being in a new environment with new people. But then very quickly back in that dark place, I felt unfulfilled. I hated what I was doing. And it just didn't align with my calling, as they say.

Alex, it was the type of thing where every Monday morning I would wake up in literal despair. I would text my friend and tell her, I am so depressed. I can't do this for one more second. I am not happy anymore. It was bad.

And I'm sure like partying hard on the weekends didn't fucking help. But that's kind of what you do when you despise five out of the seven days a week. Yeah. You know, or at least that's how I coped with it. I like want to take you guys through my average work day because it's miserable and it's fucking comical. Get up at 6 a.m. I'm not in Kansas anymore. I'm in New York. Put a little makeup on.

ballerina flats, head for the subway, shove my way through the subway doors, fucking sardine it, get off at my spot, 10 more minutes of walking while I contemplate my life.

Sit down at my desk chair. Everyone looks suicidal. Make myself a black coffee. Like my soul at the time. Check my email. Then, you know, my financial advisor, aka my boss, trickles in eventually. Comes over to my desk. Super happy. Says he'll only be in for a minute because then he's going golfing with a client. I'm like, fuck you. But also great because I won't have you breathing down my neck.

Spend a few hours clicking around on my computer, emailing old rich men, secretly hoping one of them will whisk me away and be my daddy. I literally would think that. Chit chat with my cube buddies. I probably liked maybe fucking one of them.

Tell them I'm going on a break when they fucking damn well know I won't be back for an hour. Get my change. And then it's lunch. Yay. And then I would go back to my desk, maybe take a nap in the bathroom stall, depending on how much I can get away with. The biggest client calls in. He doesn't know how to work a computer. So I have to explain to him how a cursor works. And then it's 5 p.m., which feels like fucking ecstasy because...

Then I know in two 30 minute increments or in four 25 minute increments. Or how I like to do it, two SpongeBob episodes equals an hour. That is fucking hilarious. People who hate their jobs know what the fuck we're talking about right now. And then I book it the fuck out of there.

If I'm lucky. So that's what I would do every weekday for four fucking years. You guys, I stuck that shit out for four years. I was fucking depressed for four years. And it kind of bothers me because I have voiced to therapists, I'm depressed. I hate my job.

And I always would get the same reaction and they would be like, well, Sophia, let's discuss trauma from your past or what things do you do outside of work? Are you exercising? How's your self-confidence? And those things are so important, obviously, but it was just always like,

what can we do to make your job easier for you to handle? It was never, maybe it's time to find a new job. Yeah. Why is that? I don't know. I don't get it. By the way, some people do thrive in that workspace. And so I'm not like trying to just shit on it. A lot of people love it. And hats off to you guys. Kudos. Just, it wasn't me. So how did I get here? Good fucking question. Um,

I don't want to get all witchcrafty on you guys, but I do believe in manifestation and

And I swear I'm living proof. It has worked for me every time I've used it, which by the way, I haven't done it in fucking years. So I should probably go back to that. I vividly remember, and this is way before New York. This is when I was in Utah, miserable. I would listen to podcasts in the office all day long. That is what got me through the workday.

And like everyone on this planet, I remember thinking, damn, I wish I had that job. But I didn't just wish it. I visualized it every day, all day. And I manifested it. And like, and that's it, guys. Read the book, The Secret, make a vision board. There you have it. There you go. Kidding. But I truly think the transition started there.

And then my move to New York City. I think that's where it really, really started. If I can give anyone listening one piece of advice, it's to take that leap. Let me clarify before you guys all fucking...

show up at my house with pitchforks, okay? I am fully aware of my privileges. I am not disregarding the societal and systemic disadvantages a lot of fucking people face that may keep them in certain situations. But I'm talking from my personal experience and people who I know that have the privilege.

But I understand if manifesting is not your thing and you think it's a bunch of bullshit, like that's on you. I want to give you guys some like tangible, sisterly, sleuty advice. And these are things I personally did as well. If you are feeling stuck right now, there is a way out. I promise you there is a way to land your dream job. It's just going to take some hustle, which I fucking know my sleuths have hustle. All right.

first thing you need to ask yourself is what are you passionate about actually fuck that question I hate that question I don't understand it I would not sit here and say podcasting is my passion I mean it's something I love doing but my passion yeah I mean I would rather say you know

saving like cats from a burning building is my fucking passion. Do you know what I'm fucking saying? Yes. Whatever. Regardless, you need to have some idea of what you like to do or what job you would love to have. And then you need to know what you're good at. And I said, good, not great. That can come with practice.

Then you need to start dedicating every waking hour you have available to land this job. I need you to disregard everything that you have ever been told.

Yeah, you can show up to the networking event at your old college and exchange business cards with 50 people. You can send your resume out to 90 different places hoping to get a response. I mean, do those things. I think you should try everything. But most jobs are just not acquired that way. You need to network.

but not in the way that we think of networking. The first big girl job that I got, it was right out of college. I thought I was never going to find a job. I was applying everywhere, interviewing everywhere for months. And then randomly, I decided to reach out to a childhood family friend that I hadn't talked to in years.

boom, got the job. Okay, so that's like a personal example. But just think real life. You guys go to the bar, make it your intention to meet people, which automatically happens anyways. Take some fucking shots, let loose, start talking to people and figure out what they do for a

One of them is going to work in an industry you are interested in. And that is when you start charming the fuck out of them and sleep with them, whatever you want, exchange numbers. And then you text the person the next day asking if they know of any open positions. You would be surprised at how many people respond with actual opportunities. You know what is one of the best hidden networking secrets ever?

sugar daddies. They are a fucking one-way ticket to the job of your dreams. They are rich. They've got connections. They will love it and admire you for asking them to get you a job instead of a fucking Birkin, but obviously get both if you can. Sugar daddies will hook it the fuck up. They

they will absolutely get you fired if you stop sugaring and like sucking their dick. But by that point, you've made connections and acquired the skills you need to make your next move. Boom, done, simple. Don't discredit people who aren't already millionaires though.

Because anyone could be your golden ticket. You never really know. That girl, you know, you met drunk one time at the bar and she's now your party friend and she's like fucking out of her mind and rails speedballs in the bathroom stall and can't stand up straight. She could be the daughter of...

I almost said Abraham Lincoln. Am I okay? What the fuck? She could be the daughter of like, I don't fucking know, some Russian oligarch. And then she invites you over for dinner one day and you charm the fuck out of her mom by being super sweet and having really good manners and express you're looking for a job. Boom. Next thing you know, you're on payroll for God knows what, taking fucking vodka, oyster shots, whatever the fuck they do in Russia. Yeah.

Okay? Seriously, like it can be as easy as that. I want, I'm looking for a new job written on your fucking forehead to an extent though. Don't come off like you're using people because then that's just like a turnoff.

It's fucking exhausting. I don't care. Keep going. Perfect example. Our favorite racist, Walt Disney. Wasn't he turned down 300 fucking times when he pitched Mickey Mouse? Yes. Okay. There you fucking go. You need to at least try 300 fucking times before you decide to quit. Exactly. Walt Disney is also frozen under Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Fact.

People are going to tell you during this process that you suck. You're going to feel dumb. You're going to feel like an imposter. We all do, honey. I still fucking do. But if you throw enough mud against the wall, something will stick.

I don't know where that quote came from. I feel like it's from like the 1600s. I don't know what the fuck. It's a good one, though. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Thank you. When life gives you lemons, you make tequila and you get a fucking job because you're so fucking good at networking. You know, just get your foot in the fucking door.

There is no reason you should spend your life miserable, okay? And with that, I would like to get into Sleut, questions, advice, and stories. S-O-S, save our sleuts. Sleut.

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Number one. Hi, Sophia. I am a below average looking girl face and body wise. However, I don't have too much of a difficulty getting laid. Unfortunately, I still can't help but feel super insecure about the way my face looks during sex. I've tried recreating it while masturbating and took a picture slash video of my sex face and holy shit, I look so hideous. I'm

I have asked the guys I've been with if I ever look stupid while getting railed, but they say I've always looked hot. I don't believe them. Any tips on how to make sexy facial expressions? How do I master the O face without looking like I'm being possessed by a demon? Alex, pitch in whenever you feel like it, but I have a lot to fucking say here. Go for it. First thing...

Who decided that you have a below average face and body? You know, beauty is a social construct, my dear, but I will fucking go ahead and indulge you if that's what you want to say. Below average, above average, Megan Fox, fucking Jeff Bezos doesn't fucking matter because everyone looks psychotic when they're fucking, especially like when they're coming. Have you ever seen what a dude looks like when he's coming? No.

It's fucking terrifying. Terrifying. It's so fucking scary. The thing is, the possessed by a demon O face that you are referring to, that is exactly what they fucking want. Yeah. Men want it to look like they murdered that fucking pussy. They want to look like you're dead, like you're dying. You know? Yeah. Like the ah-hey gal face. Exactly. Eyes rolled back, tongue out, dead person. Exactly.

What is it? Necrophilia? Yes. Okay. So, I mean, there's that. Alex, what do you think? Watch a couple pornos, see what faces you like the best, and practice those in the mirror. Yes. I...

I was trying to give her like the more healthy advice. That's a more toxic advice, but I fucking like it because that's probably what she wants to hear. Go watch porn, see whatever face you find attractive and emulate it and practice in the mirror if that's what you want to do. Yeah. And like Sophia said, you're supposed to look like a fucking banshee. Like,

Like, don't worry about if you're looking like the fucking girl from The Exorcist. Yes, don't worry. And just, I do want to say about the porn thing, just know it's more likely fake, staged, and from the best angle possible. And these girls had their makeup done and whatever else, you know? So keep that in mind, but...

What is the point of focusing on your facial expressions when you're fucking though? The only thing that you should be focused on and you know exactly what that is, is getting your oh girlfriend. But I have watched like homemade videos I've made with men before and I will literally like

block out my face. I will go out of my way to not look at my face because it is cringe. Yeah, don't look at your face. Look at his face. And his dick. Yeah, and look how fucking excited he is. Thank you. Trust me, I look fucking ugly as fuck in my faces, but the uglier the better is what I always say. All right, next.

New concept. We have heard of the rotisserie chicken, the toaster strudel, the Twinkie. Get ready for the Domino's cinnamon stick. You know what I'm talking about. Those shits absolutely slap. He pulls out in missionary. He comes on your stomach, dips his cinnamon stick dick in the icing and feeds it to you. I love that. I...

Points for creativity. Also, I just have to say I fucking hate dominoes. Pizza Hut for life. OK, crazy. But really, I think this is fucking hot. I think the guy initiating it or even the girl initiating it, it's nasty, it's dirty. And I like, you know, slurp that shit the fuck up.

Me hyping it up, even though I'm the girl that immediately regurgitates any cum that goes into my mouth back onto the guy's day. Absolutely. I just can't swallow really anymore. Oh, I don't. Never have, never will. I used to. I think I'm scared of getting pregnant. That's how it works. You know? All right. Next. SOS. SOS.

So I don't know if this happens just to me or if anyone else feels this. Whenever I am having sex and a guy talks dirty to me, I feel like they are just saying those things to make me feel good, but not because it's true. I know it sounds stupid, but if they say you look so hot in bed or stuff like that, I can't help to feel like he's just saying it so that I believe it or because he truly believes it.

Hope you can help me figuring out how to not feel this way. LOL. Love you so much. A lot of people would be quick to tell you that you are insecure and that is why you feel that way. And a little self-love and some therapy could go a long way and would be your answer.

and I would agree with them. However, I am very confident when it comes to sex. All right. I just am. And sometimes the way the guy dirty talks me, I've had this exact same thought that this girl has had. Like, was he just saying that like just because does he actually mean it? And you know, the reason why I've thought that is

It's not because I'm insecure. It's because some dudes say it like a fucking robot. Yes. Have you ever experienced that? Yes. They're like, your pussy is so tight.

Yeah, it's like filler words. Yes, yes. And there's no passion behind it. There's no creativity. Right? I don't think it has anything to do with you being hot or not. It has to do with the fact that he fucks a ton of girls and he's just reciting his lines. Yes. I mean, that's really what it is. Yes.

Because I have had other guys say, you're so fucking hot. And then I'm like, fuck yeah, I am. Because of the way they said it, you know? Yes. They were passionate about it. Yes. But to be honest, he does think you are hot and means what he says. Absolutely. You're a fucking woman and you're naked. Chances are he's finding you extremely hot. Yes. And in my experience, I've told a lot of guys like,

what oh this is the first time i've ever given a blow job like i'm not very good at it so can't blame them did you say it with passion though of course that is my girl that's my girl i'm a hustler that is so fucking funny okay alex why don't you read this one okay

How do I deal with dating, not trying to break bank on dining out, but also trying to control my drinking problem? I don't have a problem not drinking at all. But if I'm past three drinks, there's no stopping me and it's hurting my life. Okay, two very different questions here. Let's address the not breaking the bank.

assuming this guy is a heterosexual male, you don't need to take this girl to a Michelin star restaurant to impress her. Like you really don't. Take her to some hole in the wall place,

And just hype it the fuck up. Make it seem like it is the coolest fucking thing. It's underground. It's a hot spot. No one knows about it. He like takes her to like Wendy's. He's like, no, but this Wendy's, I'm telling you. Just take her somewhere that she's never heard of and say like the place has the most amazing tacos. Boom, you got it. Plus, it looks less try hard.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I've had dudes where like you can tell they're trying so fucking hard on the first date. And I'm like, OK, I hate that. Please. Also, quick tip.

I personally, and Alex, I would love to hear your opinion. I like when a dude orders for me. Do you? I mean, no, because I'm vegan. They're going to be like, I don't know what the fuck you can eat. And they order me like a piece of lettuce or something. But I'm sure I would love that. Okay. You're the wrong person to ask. I love it. Alex.

Ask her if she's down with it, obviously, like before you just do it, like have manners. And then you can decide how much you want to order off the menu and how much you want to spend. And honestly, don't get that much food. Like I know it sounds fucked up, but no way is homegirl going to ask you to order some more food for her because women have been programmed to barely eat around men or to inconvenience them in any fucking way.

So there you go. There's how you save money. Yeah, thanks, society. I just love supporting the patriarchy, you know? It's just, like, amazing. To the alcohol portion, as far as your drinking and you saying it's ruining your life, I'm going to give you two options because the last thing you probably want to hear from me is stop drinking. Like, duh, I'm sure that's what everyone has advised him to do, right?

I think if you feel like you really, really can't quit drinking or ever stop at three drinks and it's ruining your life, there is medication. So naltrexone, you take it an hour before drinking.

I believe. And then I think it like... We talked about this before, haven't we? It blocks like the certain receptors that give you like the euphoric feeling or something. Apparently, it's like saving people all over. It's like a life-saving drug.

If you don't want to take, you know, medication, I love how I'm like prescribing shit like I'm a doctor. I could like get in trouble for that. By the way, I'm not licensed. I'm not a doctor. Maybe you shouldn't take that. I have no fucking clue. It's just I've heard that it's helped people. Okay. If you don't want to take that route, then I actually highly, highly suggest Alan Carr's book,

how to stop drinking or something like that. Remember Nikki Glaser came on and she mentioned it? Yes. Well, I was at a dinner and these people were like talking about it and they were talking about how it like completely changed their lives. Wow. And they like don't drink anymore. That's amazing. So there are some options for you, but know that you can make a change. Okay, great. On

to the next. What is your take on if a guy pulls out versus not? My friend once told me that pulling out is for children and one night stands, but my ex of nine years always did. So I never knew any different. The guy that I'm dating now also insists on it and is super paranoid.

and told me that he always does it with anyone that he has ever hooked up with. Anyways, after a year and a half, he finally came inside of me a few days ago, and it honestly felt like such a connecting experience. I thought that it was a one-time thing, but then I hung out with him last night, and he did it again. Does this mean anything? Did he go from liking me to like liking me? Love you.

Wait, I just want to say this reminds me of like how an avatar, like the blue people one, when they connect their fucking like braids and intertwine. Yes. So you could say it's pretty much the same thing. Absolutely. I'm sure that resonated with a lot of people. No, I felt that before. I've had a boyfriend come inside me and be connecting. Yeah.

You know, I feel like I'm making it sound like I'm fucking lying. No, I have experienced that. It can be a very bonding, emotional experience. It makes you feel very, very close to someone.

But to go to your first question, I don't necessarily have a take, quote unquote, on if a guy pulls out or not. But I will say I do kind of judge the guys that don't pull out on the one night stand. Yeah, absolutely. Like your friend is saying pulling out is for one night stands and children and like judging you. No, a dude that decides that he's going to splooge all up in you on a one night stand is

Has been to prison. Absolutely. The reckless behavior. And has many baby mamas that he doesn't provide for. Yes. 100 fucking percent. I can't tell if this girl is saying it's her boyfriend or just a guy she's dating. Yeah. So I'm just going to assume this is your boyfriend. Yeah.

I think he went from liking you to like liking you when he made the commitment to be your fucking boyfriend, first of all. And if I had to guess, and this is just me assuming, he probably feels comfortable turning you into a fucking Twinkie either because it took him that long to like really trust you weren't the type to lie about being on birth control and have a baby behind his back because...

wake up call women do do that or the more plausible reason is he isn't as afraid of the idea of you getting pregnant is what I think which I guess in a way means fine he does now like like like like like to you

But you should just ask him honestly. Hi, babe. Not sure you're aware, but you came inside me the last few times you've hooked up. What changed? Very easy. All right, sleuths. I love you so fucking much. I hope this episode was inspirational, informational, funny, liberating, fun.

happy, whatever the fuck you wanted it to be. I love you guys so much. You know where to find me. Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y, TikTok.

Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. Where haven't I been? You can find me fucking anywhere, people. Alex, where can they find you? You can find me at AlexFranco underscore meow on every single platform there is on this planet. Wow. Look at us. Can't get away from us. All right, guys. I will see you next week.