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Hi, everybody. Welcome to Swap. Sophia with an F. Rate, subscribe, and review the show. Look at my merch. Look at my body on all my socials. Sophia Franklin with an F. Franklin with a Y. Like my pics. Comment on them. Donate money to me. Give your unborn child to me. Like, whatever you can do. Obviously, she's desperate, so do it.
Guys, this is Anto, by the way. Thank you, Anto, for coming in. You guys know Alex, my cousin slash producer. I have her older sister here. Anto, you're what, 27? Yes. 27. Anto happens to be my closest and favorite cousin. True. I'm the head bitch. Alex, who? Alex.
Out of like, how many cousins do we have? Like 40? Too many. Too many. Too many. Anto's my favorite. I mean, growing up, Anto, we would share, this is obviously when we were really little, we would share a toilet seat and go like back to back, butt to butt and go pee at the same time together on the toilet seat. We would probably still do that now, but both of our asses have gone too fast. Oh yeah. No, it wouldn't work now. But that,
That's just kind of some of the incestual shit that we like to get into. So just kidding. We still share a toilet seat, but in this way, we're both just holding each other's hair back while we vomit. Oh my God. Okay. Anto, I'm so happy to have you here.
That shit just reminded me talking about being close and then we can move the fuck on. I promise. When we were sharing dirty underwear. I mean, it wasn't dirty. I mean, it was. Okay. I'm going to give them just a quick explanation. I wasn't wearing underwear for whatever fucking reason. I was sleeping over at Anto's and I can't sleep vagina out in the wind. Me either. I have to have some underwear on and then a t-shirt or tank top. That's how I sleep.
And I needed underwear. And Anto was like, I have no clean underwear at all. So what do we do, Anto? I handed her mine.
And she turned it inside out. Your dirty underwear. And I just wore it inside out. Which as far as I'm concerned, that's clean underwear. It's clean. No snail trails ever intersect. It was clean. Her snail trail did not touch my vagina. So we're fucking close is what I'm trying to say. Too close. Okay. Yeah. So Anto, tell them a little bit about yourself. You're 27. So I'm 27. I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I graduated with two bachelors. I have one in psychology and one in sociology. And right now I'm applying to grad school. We have an educated, smart bitch. And I'm not talking about myself. I'm talking about Anto. For once, it's about me. So Anto, let's get into the episode. I'm so happy to have you here. Mental health. Guys, I don't know if you knew this, but May is...
masturbation month as well as mental health month. Both together. Hand in hand. Hand in hand. Which I think masturbation can like help
with mental health. I mean, that could be a whole segment itself. So let me do a mental health update. Mine is going to be very surface level superficial. My butt is starting to change. People are like, what the fuck are you talking about? I have been exercising for two weeks in a row, which is shocking for me. And my butt is finally
Finally, starting to look a little bit different. Anto, I feel like you can vouch. Yes. I mean, you did get naked and I did see it and it looks good. I mean, you're no J-Lo, but it looks good. I love it. It's better. It's bigger. It looks better than what I had. Aside from that, this is going to sound really like kind of fucked up to people, but my boyfriend is out of town. He's doing business in L.A.,
And I fucking love it. Like living with your mom and your boyfriend at the same time for a year. Let me tell you, you will not realize how much you love being alone until you've been living in those circumstances. So yeah.
He's gone. It's a lot. I mean, he's gone. If my mom was gone at the same time and I had the house to myself, the fucking lottery. I am one of those people. I love, love, love, love, love my alone time. I really do. So long story short, I'm at an eight. Anto, what about you? Honestly, I am at a five. I...
I'm depressed and confused. Thank you for coming on here and being real and genuine about your mental health. Like the amount of people I've had on here that are like, I'm depressed and confused. Zero. So Anto, thank you. It's a truth. I mean, I feel like being in your 20s is kind of a confusing time.
I have graduated from college and I'm thinking about going back to school. Should I just get a job? Moving in with my boyfriend, like, should we get an apartment? Should we buy a house? Yeah. It's really hard to decide what to do from this point on. So honestly, I'm a little depressed. I'm comparing myself to other people.
And, you know, I feel like I should be at one place in your life. Exactly. But at the same time, I don't feel like I have to be anywhere. But I'm so young. Being in your 20s and maybe it's your 30s, too. You just feel fucking lost. There's no manual. You have a manual middle school. You have a manual. You don't know it. High school. You have it.
Usually, you have that. And then it's like after college, there's no more manual. There's no more like do this, this, this, this. It's so confusing. It is. It's like doing taxes. Hi. How? Thank you. Hi. So, Anto is here. And I'm...
I'm at an eight, but there is something going on in my life that I've been like waiting to tell all of my sleuths for the past day or two. I've been seething. I've just been getting so like,
I'm hot and bothered. Yes, I'm very upset about it. And let me just put it out there. Let's hear this. So my mom is cleaning out the basement storage. OK, spring cleaning. She brings me this book and it was a book that I wrote when I was nine years old. OK, I am looking through the book. It's super funny. I'm saying shit like I.
I want to be a veterinarian when I grow up. Oh my God, I remember that. Like, what does everyone say when they're little? I don't even know what the fuck I was saying. You wish you had a uniform. Yes. All of a sudden, I come across this page and I see this name and it was like,
the girl I idolize or the girl I see being an Olympic coach or like some bullshit. And I see the name of my childhood best friend. I grew up in Sandy, Utah. I spent a lot of my childhood memories there. My next door neighbor was this girl. She was my idol, my icon. I was so obsessed with her. We were best.
friends. Okay. This bitch and I did everything together and I was nine years old, 10 years old, 11 years old. I loved her.
And then one day, all of a sudden, she just stopped all communication. I'm like, I thought my abandonment issues were like deeper. No, it's this bitch. It starts from here. It's not even the daddy issues. It's not even the dad shit. One day, she stops communication. And I was so heartbroken. And I remember that...
This day, she threw a birthday party. And I remember looking over my fence in my backyard and I could see her and like all of her friends celebrating her birthday. And Anto, I was bawling.
I was bawling. I felt so like left out. I felt it was a really horrible fucking feeling to the point that my mom marched me down to their house and knocked on the door and asked, why was Sophia not invited? That's how intense it was.
Fast forward to now, I decided to reach out and I do want to preface this by saying she is a celebrity and I'm using the term celebrity loosely here, but she is. So I DM her and I mean, I could read the message instantly.
that I sent, but basically it was like... Probably don't because it's probably embarrassing. No, it's not embarrassing. I just said, so funny. I was your neighbor growing up in Sandy, Utah. I came across this book where I mentioned you and I sent her a picture of the page where I mentioned her and I sent it to her. This fucking...
bitch opened my message and did not respond. And you know what, Anto? I don't like putting people on blast, but I cannot hide my feelings. It hurt my fucking feelings. Someone that rejected me when I was nine years old
And then 10 years later rejects me again. Like, why did she not respond to my DM? What the fuck is she? She is. She has a blue checkmark on Instagram for what? She has a million followers on TikTok. But for what? Like, what does she do? She was in like some Disney shit. Like what? High school musical. You can even throw a fucking rock and not hit a kid living in Utah who wasn't an extra in high school musical.
I mean, all the movies were filmed. Well, I think she did that, but she like did other shit. Like she's a backup dancer of a backup dancer at best. Thank you for her to leave me on read.
why? What the fuck did I do to her when I was nine years old? And why would you not respond to someone 10 years later that you were next door neighbors with in Sandy, Utah? I don't like her. I'm pissed. I have abandonment issues already. And you should not treat people like that. Thank you. So mental health at an eight. But that
really triggered me and I didn't want to put her on blast, but I just don't get why you would ditch someone when they're nine and then ditch them again when they're 28. Not even ditch them. Just like give me a fucking response like she knows who I am.
You know? Oh, my God. What if she doesn't? She, like, totally forgot about you. She could still respond and be like, oh, my God. Like, remind me. Like, she has an issue with me. I have wounds from childhood. And I think it's fucking outrageous that she would leave me on read. Because she knows who I am. It all starts from her. She knows who I am, Anto. Please. Fuck.
For her to not even respond or acknowledge my existence. Fuck you. I hope there's a Teen Beach movie three because I think that's going to be the end of your fucking career because you are such a bitch. Is she going to be too old for it? Probably. And that goes for you too, Kelly Hogendaw. Kelly Hodges-Doss. Yeah.
I didn't like you in fucking high school. I don't like you now. You've always been so desperate for attention and I feel bad for both of you. Okay, moving on. Anto and everyone listening, I have a revolutionary, life-changing, mind-altering hat. This thing will get you laid.
Possibly kidnapped because you will look so good. And I know I sound like I'm doing an infomercial and I'm like about to sell like a blender. It's not that. It's free and it's on your iPhone. And it's something that I have known for like the past year. And
And then I was having a conversation with one of my Sloot Media employees. And she is a fucking beast when it comes to all things media. She knows everything. And I was telling her about this hack that I'm about to let you in on. She had no clue what I was talking about. And...
it changed her life. And this was like last week that this combo happened. Because Lord knows I need the fucking help. Anto, I'm not going to comment on that, but I'm going to show you exactly how to do it right when this recording is done. You're like, yes, you do. But like, I need to talk about the hack. Okay. Inverting your energy.
pictures. So when you are taking a selfie, yes, and you're taking, I don't know, 700, 800, 900, and you're looking in the camera and you look hot as fuck. Eva Mendes. Hi, me. What? Can't tell apart. The exact same. Angelina Jolie. Megan Fox. Who? You mean the fish from Shark Tale? Guys,
I apologize. That was my chair squeaking from falling over and laughing because I look exactly like the Angelina Jolie fish from Shark Tales. Anyways, you are taking these selfies and you know you look gorgeous and you look amazing. And then when you look back at your camera roll, it's a bunch of pictures of
Jeff Bezos. It's a backwards version of Eva Mendes. A backwards version of her. A bunch of fucking Shrek bitches. And I remember I would look at these and be like, that is not the girl who took that selfie. And it was so confusing to me. So what I started doing, I can't remember who even like showed me this or taught me this, but...
When you take a pic, you go to edit it and then you're going to click the little square, croppy icon. And when you click that, if you look at the up left corner, you will see a triangle. And if you click on the triangle, your picture will be inverted. Okay. So basically I will...
would take a million selfies and I wouldn't even look at them. I would go to them, invert them, and then I would look. And that, it's
Let me tell you how time consuming. I mean, this is why my episodes come out late. Okay. That's the real reason. There's no technical issue. It's this inverting picture bullshit. No, it's your issues with technology. So it is technical issues. It's just between you and God. Yeah.
Yeah, basically. The thing is, I thought that was revolutionary. And so did everyone around me until I was hanging out with Anto, you may know her, Alex. I've heard. She's your sister. She does work with me. She was at my house at one point. We meant to invite you. She just showed up here out of nowhere. I don't even know how it happened. I mean, I was kind of there when she was born, but whatever. So I was...
sitting with Alex and I'm sitting there inverting all of my pictures. And this is the kicker. If you have fucking zoned out, I want you to listen to this. If you don't listen to anything else, there is a setting in your phone. If you go to camera settings and turn on mirror front camera, it will automatically
automatically do this for you. Finally. Thank God. Finally? The hours like I've spent and wasted. Why wouldn't Apple fucking do this?
Fucking Steve Jobs, who's dead, RIP, whoever is the new CEO. Why would they not just have the phone come like that already? I just like stopped using the front facing camera because I just accepted the fact that I just looked fucking ugly backwards. Baby, baby, you're not ugly. You're just backwards. I'm just backwards. You just need a fucking invert. My camera was like a little bit dyslexic and now I know how to fix it. Oh, yeah.
You know what? That's what it is. Whoever fucking created this setting, dyslexic, and then someone non-dyslexic came in and was like, yo, let's figure this out. I do want to add one thing besides that I have changed all of your lives and I am getting you guys laid and married. Alex told me this when I was intoxicated. The mirror settings thing. Okay.
Okay. So it didn't count. It's not that it didn't count, but I have been taking selfies and inverting them and being confused as to why...
I'm looking uglier now when I invert. Like, could you see how much of a mind fuck that is? I didn't know that she changed the settings on my phone to mirroring. So I've been taking fucking selfies and then inverting. And then I look uglier. And I'm like, oh, my God, Sophia, like you got it. The boat. It's time for the Botox. Like, it's time for all that shit. Like, wait, am I actually ugly? Yeah. Yes. Yes.
I'm like, if inverting is not saving me, like, I don't know what will. And then earlier today, she gave me a wake up call. So a little nudge, a little reminder that she already fixed that for you. Yeah. So everyone be beautiful, be inverted, be cover girl. Okay, let's move along. Okay.
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So you all thought that I was batshit insane, which I am, with men. But you know who takes the cake? This bitch sitting across from me. And, oh, you do. I think it runs in the family. It really does. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. But you've also dated psychos. I definitely. And there's definitely one who really stands out. Okay. So...
Tell us about him for a second. When did you start to notice how toxic? He stole my car. What do you mean he stole your car? According to him, it wasn't stolen because he returned it. Wait, I've been in some fucked up relationships. I've never had a man steal my car. Did I let this guy convince me that it wasn't stolen? No.
But we're at a party and he goes inside my purse, grabs my car keys, leaves without telling me or asking me, and goes and breaks into a house. Okay. Breaks into whose house? A mutual friend's house. Like, they both know us very well. Okay. For what reason? How? Why? Like, what the fuck? So his thing is prescription pills. Okay.
And so I get a call the next day and it's our friend. And they're like, what the hell? Like, we saw our like security footage that your car was there at the scene of the crime and had left. Oh, my God. And we. Holy shit. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm like freaking out because, you know, first off, I was fucked up. Second off, this ex.
Had taken my car and done a crime. Yeah. And it looks like you fucking did it. But thank God this guy's a fucking idiot. What? He used his own library card to break into the house and left it at the scene of the crime. Wait. What? Like trying to like... Yeah. With a door handle, like try to use the library card to break in? So like...
James blah, blah, blah, blah. Salt Lake City library card on the ground. And he left it there. Oh, he left it. What a fucking idiot and a psycho. Yeah. And who has a library card anymore? Okay, because I pick winners. He doesn't have internet at his house. So he goes...
And uses the computer library. I'm actually shocked he has the nobleness and the morals to actually have a library card and he doesn't just sneak his way into the fucking library. What's also really noble about him is that if he were to tell this story, he says the card wasn't stolen. It was simply borrowed. Even though it was labbed. So when you got mad at him, he said, I just borrowed it. But without asking...
and without telling you. Okay, that's fucking stolen. So it's still... I mean, I didn't even get a ride home from the party. I had to like call my sister. Oh my God. That is... Okay, so was... Is that how it ended? Was that the breaking point? No, I wish. You dated him for four more years. Like we're married with kids. Still does the same thing. No. So we were at a party, different party, different time. And...
He is like kind of fucked up. He's like, oh, I just did a bunch of Molly. Like, go meet this guy. Like, I got it set up for you. And I was like, OK, set up like for you to get Molly. Yeah. So I go and meet this guy just like in the bathroom. And I know very classy. And he was like, yeah, here's some Molly. So I like snore.
A bunch... Of Molly. Yeah. Some rocks. And after I snorted, he was like, hey, you know, like, what's up? I was like, hi, you know, I'm here... Just snorting your Molly. Yeah. What do you mean? Like, he's like, well, he said that you were single and you were, like, down to fuck. Oh!
Shut the fuck up. No joke. This asshole pretty much sold me my body for this fucking Molly. Was this man to be seen later? No. Was this other guy who gave me the drugs there? Of course. He was dying for my attention. So the guy...
that you were dating pretty much told the drug dealer like hey like my bitch will fuck you for Molly yes a thousand percent he was a pimp and you were the whore yeah he was like this girl's DTF mmm and then when you encountered the drug dealer you were like no thank you I'm like please do not touch me with a 10 foot pole
I just imagine you like snorting it and him being like, hey, baby, like, let's go. And you're like, yeah, pretty much. What? I'm like, so sure. See, this is the thing.
You know, there are two different men. And obviously, there are men that lie in between. But there are the men that are like super fucking jealous, controlling, and you're not allowed to do anything. And then there are men like who Anto dated and who I've dated in the past.
Who could not give two shits what you do because they don't give a fuck. Yeah, exactly. And I don't know what is worse. They both suck. Well, you know what? I'm going to go ahead and say the guy that's like, fuck my girlfriend for Molly. Yeah, that's true. First of all, that's a pimp. And you should have gotten paid. Second of all, my story with this is I remember...
I was dating this guy for like three or four years. And we had done a threesome. Okay. With this very attractive girl. And I love this girl. Like we were really, really close. And...
The night after we had a threesome, she needed a ride home. She couldn't call herself a fucking lift. I know, right? But at the same time, like, I loved her. And I was like, yeah, like, let's drive her home. She just fucked you. She just fucked me. Let's drive her home. And when we're going to the car, she got in the front seat. Oh, my God. You're like, bitch, get in the trunk. She got in the front.
the front seat, Anto, can you imagine having a threesome with your boyfriend and another girl and she sits in the front seat and you are sitting in the back seat as a girlfriend? You didn't say anything. No, I was such a pussy back then. You were too scared. I get it. I was scared and I honestly was like shocked. Like,
I was shocked. You're like the balls on this fucking bitch. But also my boyfriend not saying like, hey, like, let me let like let my girlfriend sit in the front. I wanted him to speak up for me. But on the ride home, he put his hand on her leg. Oh, wow.
My God, I just did a fucking threesome with him and this bitch. And he not only did she sit in the front seat, which is probably my bad. Like, I already know my personality. I was probably like, oh, my God, you have to sit in the front. Like, you are the queen. I love you so much. Like, well, bless in the front. But for him to put his hands on her fucking leg.
And then let's not even get into like the gaslighting because then we got into a fight after and he was like, I like I just put my hand on her leg because there was like a stoplight. Like, oh my God. I remember that. Yeah. So anyways.
We're getting off track, but there are men who are like that. And then there are men who are in between. Okay. So like not all men fall into these two groups or some like normal dudes out there who I feel like I'm dating now. Anto, you too. Yes. Yes. And what a weight lifted off.
It's like insane. After you've been in a relationship like that and then you get into like a healthy one, you're like, you're like, whoa. Whoa. Wait, this exists? What is happening here? Wait, you don't want a threesome? You don't want to like finger her in the front seat in front of me and make me cry? And steal my car? You're not going to make me sit in the back seat? You're not going to steal my car? No, no, no. It was borrowed. It was borrowed. Okay, so I got to ride home later. So what was it?
final point where you were like, this is done. So this is another party story. So obviously we had a really healthy relationship. But so we went out and I catch him making out with a girl and I'm so upset. I leave and I drive. And he's your boyfriend at the time. Yes. So. Oh my God.
I leave and I have all this stuff in my car. So I have his backpack and his skateboard.
And I'm driving home and I'm so upset. So I pull over and I'm like, I'm going to break this fucking guy's skateboard. And I get out of my car. I grab it. I'm trying to curb stomp it. I'm jumping on it. I am running it over my car. And this fucking thing will not break. Where were you? I oh my God. I was in front of a bank. I was in front of Wells Fargo. I would.
I would pay a lot of money to see this. I would too. That they have. Yeah. So it's unbreakable. And, you know, I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I don't have the time to break this skateboard. I just throw it. I throw everything I have of his just into the bushes in front of this bank. OK. And I drive home and then I get a text from him saying, I want my stuff back. And I tell him, I'm like, well, I threw it out my window.
And the guy has the audacity to send me a list, like an inventory list.
He's like, skateboard, $200. Backpack, $100. Oakley sunglasses, $100 and something. After you saw him making out with another bitch? After... Like, this guy even, like, owes me money at this point. I'm sure. It is crazy. So...
And of course, me, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Shut up, Angel. I was like the bad bitch I am. I run out the door to quickly go pick up his belongings. So I don't even know what I look like. And so I'm in Hello Kitty pajamas. I had my rainbow retainers in my mouth.
And my hair is like a fucking rat's nest. And I would pay to see this footage from the Wells Fargo. It is me collecting the pieces of the night before my race. Like you pulling the skateboard out of the bush in your house. Yeah.
broad daylight. This isn't broad daylight. It's a new day Jesus has been watching. In front of the Wells Fargo so there's businessmen and people. No, they're like, people are like trying to conduct businesses. Like, people are like, I'm trying to get a loan and I'm sobbing, picking up all of this. My ex's belongings.
And putting it into my car. Holy shit, Anto. So that was the last big blowout fight. It was bad. And like, it was even so bad that like our parents who had never met exchanged goods. Oh shit. So like, that's how, you know, it was like the end. Like his dad met up with my dad. Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. The good thing about the relationship though is I was so fucking skinny.
I was riddled with anxiety and like wouldn't eat at all. But I was so skinny. And you loved it. I loved it. And what? You think you gain weight now that you're in like a stable relationship? Oh, I'm in like a healthy, stable relationship and I've gained 20 pounds. Oh my God. Fuck. Maybe you should like get back together with your ex. That's the advice. Like I just need a crash diet plan. So like can we hang out for like...
Two months and then nothing. That is so fucking funny. You know what? Let's just talk about weight gain for a second. Like we don't need to do a huge deep dive, but I have never touched on it and I think we should. Anto, so let's talk. Let's do it.
I'm trying to think about how my weight... Well, my weight always, always fluctuates. I'm trying to think of how it has in different relationships. I am always between 10 pounds and I fluctuate all... You know, like some women say, oh yeah, my weight really fluctuates and it fluctuates two to three pounds. I am a one to 10 pound fluctuation...
constantly. Oh, yeah. Me too. My weight fluctuates like my mother's love. What the fuck does that mean? She loves me a lot better when I'm skinny. Does she really, though? Yes. Like, for real. I mean, she comments on it. So you feel more... No, I think that's actually really common.
No, she comments on it all the time. And she notices that I've gained weight. And she treats you a little nicer when you're skinny? A little bit. Yeah, she does. Wow. Wait, is that why I've always been her favorite of the cousins? Because you've always been the skinniest? Because I stayed skinny. That's probably it. No, I'm dead serious. I'm being serious too. I think you've told me that before. She likes you because you're skinny. That's the only reason. No, I swear. Your weight should not, though...
dictate your self-worth. And I am so guilty of this. If I don't feel good about my weight, it
affects everything I do. I don't feel good about myself and it really shouldn't do that. Yeah, I mean, that happens to me too. And I think that it's like very relatable. Could I be healthier? Yeah, probably. But you know, it's something that I need to work on, on loving myself and doing some self-love. It shouldn't matter, but it is something that does bother me still. Yeah, you skinny is not an indicator of being healthy. It's not. Let's say that right now because
I, my eating habits are so messed up. It's, I won't eat. And then I binge everything and there's no in between. So there's that. It's self-worth should not really come from any external factors ever. It really, really shouldn't. No, it should not. Which, what am I even saying right now?
Okay, this is going to sound a little bit fucked up to a lot of people. Catcalling. Oh my God. And men giving you compliments makes me feel good about myself. I get scared. Okay, see, there's that side of the coin where, I mean, sometimes it does. Yeah, sometimes it's, well, it's always unwarranted. It's disrespectful. It's not okay. We're not objects to be catcalling. Doesn't make me feel good about myself. Yes.
Like, thank you, horny old man. I do look good today. Looking like 70-year-old guy that can barely even see. He just sees it's a woman. Thank you. I know. It's like a little blur. I'm like, thank you. Thank you. No, I...
No, I swear you guys, if you're ever feeling bad about your body, love yourself from within, you know, and work on yourself. If that doesn't work, go to Miami. Oh my God. When I was just in Miami, I was wearing a little tight dress. Yeah. And I was walking on...
the sidewalk and there were all these restaurants and stuff. I've never been catcalled as much as this period. I think that's the difference between us is like you were walking in Miami. You're like amongst all these nice restaurants.
No, I fucking walk on the beach in Miami and it's like the homeless person's like, hey, girl, you're looking good. I'm like, no. Okay, but let's be honest. Have you not had these moments too where I will look like a goblin? I will look sick and I will be wearing sweats and gross and someone be like, yeah, baby, like you're beautiful. And I'm like, what? Like how? Yeah.
So, oh God, did I really just endorse catcalling? No, don't do it. That is not to be your takeaway from this. But do it. Do it, but like, don't do it. Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home or attending one live,
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Thank you.
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All right. I want to move on to my sleuths. Listener questions, advice, stories, please. Yes, I love. Let's fucking go. First question. Let's hear it. Numero uno. Is it slutty for me to try to fuck my TA? Not for school related reasons. I'm doing fine in the course. I just think he's really fucking hot. How?
How do I go about letting him know that I'm trying to fuck without coming off slutty? Okay, girlfriend. It is so hot being in a school setting. It is so hot. I mean, so many porns take place, you know, within like a teacher-student role play. So already I'm turned on. Me too. I like this idea.
It's already hot. It's already hot. I think it's completely fine to fuck the TA. I don't know why you're so concerned about coming off like a slut, but wanting to fuck him because A, it's fine to be slutty. Hi, sleuths. Sleuth central. B, acting slutty is what's going to get him inside of you. The quickest way. Yeah. So what she should actually do...
I'm trying to think because I'm an old hag and I have not been in a school setting in a long time. But what I would do from what I remember when there were desks and pencils and books is I think she should, number one,
Show up to class looking hot. Yes. Okay? Because I remember when I... Even that Zoom meeting. Put some makeup on. Even a Zoom call, maybe the tits a little bit out. Yeah.
you know, have the makeup on, be looking cute. So that's number one. The reason why this person is TAing for a class is they fucking know this class. So show up prepared. Like, not only is that going to get you that person's attention. Yeah. I mean, you're probably going to overall do better in the class. Yes. But also, would it be good if she purposefully does really, really bad, like in Mean Girls when she pretends she doesn't know? Aaron Sands.
Yes. So then he has to help you in one way or another. I don't know if you can do it on the school website because maybe he could get in trouble, but let him know. I think on the last day of class, you should type an email or say something to him that is flirty and just say, here's my number.
That's what I was thinking because if you're worried about, you know, coming off across as slutty or like he thinks that you're trying to get like a better grade out of him, then wait until the semester is over and go talk to him and be like, let's go out for drinks. Yeah. Yes. Unless you're scared like me and then you like message them on Canvas because I had the total hots for one of my TA one time. Yeah.
You know, the message on Canvas, it's fine. Like, what are they going to do? The school's going to get mad because you're like, hi, let's go get drinks. Just put it under the ruse that you want him to tell you more about the biology of a fucking fish or whatever class this is. Just say that. Just say, I need help and or I'm super interested in this. Would love to talk more. Yes. That's how you fucking do it. And I would, though, tell her I would save this message
move for maybe the last day of class. That would probably be the smartest thing. Yeah. Unless you're a badass bitch and you want to do it in the fucking middle of the school year and you don't care if he completely rejects you and then you have to see him every single day and he's grading your P.E. course. Which is totally fine. That's fine too. Kudos to you if you're down with that. Get that TA dick. Go for it. Get it. Okay, next. Anto, you should read this one. Okay. SOS, please.
please send help. So I was hooking up with this guy and he was hot, but I knew nothing was ever going to come from it because we have nothing in common. So I ended it because I'm trying to find something more serious. Okay. Okay.
So I matched with this guy who is really cute, who has a career. We have similar interests and he's super sweet. Amazing. Amazing. The kicker is he's my hookup's brother. Oh my gosh. What do I do? Do I come clean? Do I lie? I don't think they're close, but like, what the fuck do I do? Okay. So let me understand this. She was fucking a guy, but...
but it wasn't going to go anywhere. She broke things off. Then she found this other guy that she really, really likes. And it happens to be the brother. Yep. Oh, honey girl, you got a type. Yeah.
Wait, that's hilarious. You have a tight girlfriend. All right. So what do I do? Do I come clean? Do I lie? I don't think they're that close. Their closeness doesn't really matter when it comes to if you should tell him or not. I think that you got to come clean. Really? I was thinking. And tell. I know. What? Say it. Go. Deny, deny, deny. Okay.
Really? Because if like this guy, you guys were just hooking up and you didn't have anything in common, I would just be like, I never even knew you guys were fucking brothers. What if they're twins? No.
She's like, I have no fucking idea. I have no clue. Same last name, twins, live in the same house, pictures, all, both of them together. Okay. If she plans on being serious. I guess that's true. It's going to come out. She's going to be invited to a family party and be like, what up? Yeah. She's going to be like, what up to her past hookup and the guy. Once again, I am all about not being honest up front. I'm all.
I'm all about the honesty coming later. Just like how I am in a relationship. I act like the most, you know, chill girl ever. And then when I know I've got him, that's when I act fucking nuts. Oh my God. If I acted like myself, I would be single for the rest of my life. Exactly. So you don't need to do it right away. And then when you've got him in your britches. In your britches? Is that what it is? Like undies. When you got him in your clas. No,
No, I swear there's a saying. I'm going to look it up. But eventually this bitch is going to have to come clean. I'm sorry. I know. She does. And when I say eventually...
Really, the second he talks about his brother to you, the second you guys start following each other on social media and he has 20 pictures with his brother. Yeah, you're going to have to tell him. I mean, eventually it's going to come out. I would say zip it until it comes out. You don't know what that means? Zip your mouth.
Until what? Until it comes out? Until it comes out. Like to like where he was like, wait, do you know my brother? And then be like, funny story. Yes, he's been inside me multiple times. Yours is better.
I think you need to tell him when something happens in your relationship that it becomes very fucking obvious that he has a brother and it is the one that you fucked. And then I think you have to say, this is so crazy and I really hope this doesn't freak you out. And it really shouldn't. It really shouldn't. But I did have a very casual, short-winded,
fling fling with your brother and don't fucking say sex don't even bring up the sex unless he asks I mean like all jokes aside you know he asks about it you know like be honest but like don't give out more information than he's asking yes so you do not need to know oh my god you guys have super similar dicks like I should have known none of that okay let's move on hi sloop
I've gotten chlamydia twice within the past six months. So I'm trying to be a responsible adult now. I recently started having condomless sex with a guy I met on Tinder. He's the only guy I'm talking to. And he bought me a Valentine's gift. So I don't know what the fuck that means. We have been talking for a while.
but he just asked for raw sex recently, so we did it. Without sounding like an insecure nagging bitch, how do I bring up not fucking other people to stay safe? I would love both healthy and petty suggestions. Thanks, Lou.
Okay. I think the most important thing here is, do you have like feelings for this guy? Because there's different ways you can approach this. Because if you guys are just fucking and you're only fucking him and he wants to do it, you know, without any protection.
I mean, I would just be like, okay, then that's fine. But like, don't fuck any other people without protection. I think very similarly. I agree with that. If you guys are in like the fuck buddy stage or whatever, and maybe this is the petty suggestion, you can say, hey, George, I know we're just having fun right now. And I think it's great. And I love it. But if or when...
when you fuck other bitches. I'm not telling you if you can or can't fuck other bitches. But if you do, I'm just asking you to please wrap it up and use a condom. That doesn't make her look insecure naggy whatsoever. I don't think so either. And just... And this is what drives me nuts. I think men have this issue. It's like when...
someone brings up to their attention is be like, hey, I would like you to do this. And they think it's like nagging, but it's not. I feel like that's a very reasonable request saying if you're going to fuck other people, great, that's fine. Do you, you know? Yes. But just fucking wrap it up. Or, you know what, petty, I won't have sex with you if you're going to have unsafe sex with all these other people. See, I think... Then wrap it up with me if that's like...
Oh, yeah. You could say that, too. Like, yes, you could do it that way. I didn't even think about it. The flip flop. The flip flop. Flipping on him. Yeah. If you want to have unprotected sex with other people, that's fine. But let's just continue to use a condom. So then you're forcing his hand. Exactly. But if I'm going to give you the healthy suggestion, I mean, that's a healthy suggestion, but...
Like you said, Anto, this is not a naggy thing. Naggy to me is... Can you pick up your clothes and can you...
shut the cupboard and like put down the toilet seat after you're done. That's naggy. You asking to please not give you, you know, STI is not naggy or fucking insecure at all. No, that's smart. And just say it in a casual way so you don't sound insecure. You're not telling him, hey, you can't fuck other people if we're fucking raw dog. You're not saying that. You're just saying be safe when you do. And once again,
anytime you are engaging in unprotected sex, you are risking it. So just know that, sweetheart. Exactly. Like we were saying before, anytime you are having sexual relations with someone. Okay, Bill Clinton. Oh my God. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I did not. So political. Just, you
You know, know that there's always a risk of what you do. And because this guy could easily be like, babe, I'm not fucking anyone. Or of course I do that. And he might not. And you are risking it. But it's like, how much do you care about this person? But just know he could lie. He could lie. It's a risk. OK, that's it. OK, next. Hey, Sophia. Yeah.
love the show. I wanted to share a story about the last time that I lied for a boy. I was in fifth grade and I was obsessed with this kid from Ireland. The problem was he had a peanut allergy and was forced to sit at a peanut free table all by himself during lunch. So I had a
great idea of faking a note from my mom saying I too had a nut allergy. It was just us together for months and things were perfect until winter break came along. The kid never came back from winter break and I learned his family moved back to Ireland. So not only was I heartbroken, but I had to finish the year early.
Sitting by myself at the peanut-free table. Also, I really loved peanut butter. Moral of the story, never lie for a boy. Oh my God. So, Anto...
A personal issue. Anto has a peanut allergy. So like I grew up with this with her. And I remember, oh my gosh, you guys all know what I'm talking about right now. Nutter Butters. Is that what they're called? I have no idea. Oh, Nutty Bars. Guys, I just found it. Yeah, Little Debbie Nutty Bars. I was so obsessed with those and I still kind of am. And did I not beg you to eat them? I swear I would have you eat them and then you would have an allergic reaction and have to go home.
No, I would never eat them. But you would like, you're like, so good. Like you bitch. My God. So Anto is the fucking peanut allergy person in the class. That is me. And it's, I wish that would have happened to me because the table, the peanut free thing, that's a whole new thing that I did not have the pleasure of.
Really? Yes. There would be times where, because like peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, classic America. Right. No, I'd be like choking. And like kids in my class will be like fucking scarfing down any type of peanut. And I'd be like...
Oh my God. Damn. So you just had to like, it was like fun for yourself. Like you better hope and pray there's no peanut in whatever lunch they gave you. Exactly. Well that, and then like now, you know, like parent emails get sent out. It's like, please bring a treat that has, you know, it's peanut free. No, I would have to like play roulette.
So long story short, never fucking lie for a boy because they will move to Ireland and leave you hanging at the peanut free table. Just telling you right now. Um, okay, guys.
That is it for today. Anto, I loved having you on. I love this. Yes, I want you to come back. Tell them where they can find you. Okay, so you can find me on Instagram. I did have to look at my name. So because I'm very involved in social media. But it's Antonella underscore Franco underscore.
Antonella is a very Argentinian name. It is. It's spelled A-N-T-O-N-E-L-L-A. What did I call you? A Nutella? I used to call you that. Something. I don't fucking know. Antonella rhymes with Nutella. Yes, by the way. And you know where to find me. I have all social media platforms except OnlyFans. Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y.
I'm coming out with new merch that is so fucking cute. Oh, I'm so excited. You guys are going to cry and I've been spending a lot of time and energy on it. And that's it, guys. I will see you next week, Sleuths. Bye. Bye. Bye.
