27: Scissor Sisters ft. Fabby 47:46

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Welcome to Sophia with an F. I am joined by the one, the only, Fabiana Jones. It's F-A-B-B-Y, F baby. Baby, yeah. On Instagram. Yes. Wow, coming on here and plugging your shit. Yeah. It was like me the entire time. I'm trying to get famous, what can I say? I have no idea.

I have known Fabi since diapers. If you guys have heard my arrest story, if you have seen my mugshot, if you have heard me say the phrase, our attorney will get us out of everything, that all went down with this fucking bitch sitting next to me. Yeah, I might have been there. Yeah.

Guys, I told the cops as they were handcuffing us that if they kept it up, that my attorney would be in touch. Right, Fabi? Yeah. I turned to you, I remember, and you were getting handcuffed. And I was like...

We have nothing to fucking worry about because, like, our attorneys. Yeah, but you probably didn't even know what an attorney was because I didn't. Sophia watched enough Law & Order to know that's what she was supposed to say. We were 18. I did not have a fucking attorney at all. So that's where the phrase came from. Fabi, I'm so excited to have you here.

We have a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of fucking shit to talk about. But before we, like, dive into the episode, give us a little update. Well, I'm still living in Vegas. Mm-hmm. But I decided not to.

to go to auditions this year and if anybody listened to the last episode they will know when i say auditions that it's like a big deal cocktail waitressing yes in vegas where you make fucking a few hundred k a year i wish no no a few hundred k no then i would have been at auditions 100k

No? Yeah, it depends on where you work. Yes, if you work at the best place, yes, you can make $100,000. Okay. There are a handful of girls who are making that. Okay. Regardless, good money. Yes, it's good money for the amount of work that you're doing, which is working three days a week and you're wearing a little dress and going to work. Yeah, it's good money. Yes. I think the girls used to make money like that back in the day, but that doesn't exist anymore.

Got it. Why? COVID or just like... Oh, no, because when the clubs figured out how much the girls were making, they like... Robbed them. I don't know if it's that. There are certain clubs that have done that, but not every club. Not the Wynn. Like if I was to go back to cocktailing, like it's either the Wynn or absolutely nothing. Kate, did the Wynn like pay you to like come on here and like be saying that shit? Okay, so you didn't go to auditions. What are you doing instead?

So currently I'm still booking. Can you tell people just like briefly? I book promo models in Vegas, pretty much like girls for conventions, for parties. Like it's just like this whole modeling world in Vegas I'm a part of. So I still do that. With that, I can work pretty remotely, but I am...

You know, thinking about moving pretty soon. I'm not sure exactly what my next move is going to be, but I know that Vegas – no, like, I love Vegas, but that's just not where my heart is at anymore. Right. And you've been there for, like, a while. I've been there for, like, seven years. Yeah. I am planning on buying a property soon. Ooh.

Which is very exciting. So I've been saving away, scrolling my money so that I can pay for this down payment, which is like...

insane. Yeah. It's crazy how much you have to put down to buy a house. But luckily, I am so careful with my money that I have been saving. And I think that's something I'm going to do this year, which is very exciting. Buying a house is fucking huge. Like, that is a big deal. No, I feel proud of myself. And, you know, I just turned 29. And so,

I just feel like now is the time. So where would you say your mental health is at?

I'm probably around an eight just because I'm excited for my future and I know things. I know change is coming. And just thinking about that is exciting. So I'm vibrating pretty high right now. That is very exciting. Yeah. I'm usually, I kind of stay around an eight. You like hover around there. Yeah. See, I leap. I fucking skyrocket.

skydive. Like, I'm like a two or a nine. Yeah. There is no in between. I agree with that. You have your very low points and then you're very high. Yes. I'm never boring though. I'll give myself that. But it is like... You keep it being spicy. I do. My mental health, I guess, is like fine. I would say I'm at a seven. Okay. However, I...

Would be out of nine, except I just spoke to my CPA. Fabio is telling you about this. The amount of fucking money that I owe in taxes, I feel like I'm being punked, robbed. Well, that's what happens when you move to New York and you're in the high tax bracket. Yeah.

Yeah. It makes me not want to make money. I'm like, wait, let me just go back to what I was doing because there's no fucking point. Yeah. It's... Guys, the number that my CPA told me was the most shocking fucking thing. And I swear to you, I was like...

At Barnes & Noble. Do those exist? Yes, they still do. Not for long, though, probably. Looking for books like Tax Evasion for Dummies. Yeah. I mean, you might as well just move to Costa Rica at this point. Right? What is it? The Dominican Republic? Yes. All of the tech guys that made money or all the Bitcoin people. They're like, we don't want to pay taxes on the millions that we just made. So peace out. Exactly. Costa Rica, here we come.

Okay, A, I think I look so much hotter when I'm tan. I think I would thrive in Costa Rica. Yeah.

The thing is, is like, tell me if you feel this way. Go after Jeff Bezos. The IRS is fucking creeping up on me and they're coming for me and I need them to leave me the fuck alone. I agree. Go after the billionaires. Yeah. Okay. I did not hurt you. I could go on about this for hours. Anybody who follows me on Instagram, you all know how I feel about all these little billionaires running around not paying taxes. Yeah.

Like, please. If you guys want some very, like, emotionally charged stories, like, head over to Fabi's Instagram. They're great. Okay, Fabi. So in our last episode, you talked very openly about plastic surgery and your DMs got blown the fuck up. Yes.

I had a lot of inquiries about what I have done to my face, body. Like, they want to know details. Okay. So I wasn't able to respond to everybody. So I'm just going to quickly go over some things. Face, ass, and titties. All done. I fucking love it. So pretty much my entire body. My...

boobs absolutely love my butt I do regret okay I just don't think it really matches my body you know I'm a little more slender you know a little lanky and I just have this like big butt like hanging off of me okay um so I think a

this point where I'm at that I now I'm kind of regretting it I wish back then I would have appreciated my body a little bit more rather than being so quick to like see girls on Instagram and be like I need to look like them yeah I was never gonna look like them like I was gonna look like myself but you can make it a little better tweet yeah you can't really change how you fully look no and so you know I learned the hard way but I will say I've never had a guy complain I fucking

I freaking bet you have never heard that. I don't think a dude has ever been like, the butt to leg ratio is like a little bit off. Like they don't look at your legs. No. They don't even look at your face, actually. They just like literally look at the butt. Yes. They're like, it's big and juicy. I like it. They're exactly. They're so simple.

So you regret the butt, you love the tits, the face. Face, I mean, Botox, favorite thing ever. Every five months when I have my appointment and I just like feel the needle poking into my skin and knowing it's paralyzing my muscles, I'm not going to have a single wrinkle on my face.

Love. Like, it makes me horny. You sound a little bit like a masochist. Like, a tiny bit. The comfort of paralyzing my fucking muscles. Fabi, I just have to call you out. Okay? Will you allow me to? Sure. There is something that you regret that has to do with your face. Oh.

Fabi sent me a picture one time. It was a side-by-side, and she straight up looked like Maleficent. If you don't know...

And I'm allowed to say that because you said it. You're like, I look like Maleficent. No, I said to a side-by-side photo comparison. I'm like, I destroyed my face. Guys, Maleficent is Angelina Jolie from Snow White. Yeah. So I do remember you saying you regretted that one. Yeah. So, well, what actually happened is that I got fat transferred to my face, to my cheek.

And it's kind of like a mini BBL. Pretty much they remove fat from another part of my body, inject it into my cheeks, and it's like permanent filler. Okay, I have no fucking clue you could even do that. Yeah. I don't think a lot of people know that that's a thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Fun fact about it is I actually went to Seoul, Korea, South Korea to get it done. I went to a few consultations in like LA and Vegas and they were trying to charge me like 10K and I'm like, okay, I'm not fucking paying that. And then I had heard – well, not heard. Korea –

South Korea is known as like the plastic surgery capital of the world. And so I was like, oh, I should look into that. And they quoted me 1500. And it was like, I actually had a friend who went to the same place and I got her entire fucking face done. So I was like, why don't I just like make a trip out of it, go get my cheeks done and get to go on a week long vacation. And not only did I come back beautiful, but I also came back cultured. Yeah.

Okay, guys, I thought when Fabi went, this bitch was going to Korea, excuse me, South Korea for like an eat, pray, love type thing. Like just like getting centered, like a journey. And then a few days later, she calls me and she's like, yeah, I'm like, I'm going to get this done. I'm like, you bitch. Like you could have just told me. I did a thing. I did a thing. Fabi.

Fabi, do you have any advice about like regrets or great things about plastic surgery, like anything? I have a couple things I can think of. One is the issue and why I ended up looking like Maleficent is because I actually ended up getting cheek filler on top of my fat transfer. And what happened was that I decided to go to a well-known plastic surgeon that I thought I could trust. And really, he was more concerned about making an extra buck.

And he ended up putting filler on top of my already filled up cheeks. Right. And the reason why is because he wanted to charge me for the extra syringes. Wow. And so he ended up doing that to my cheeks and my lips and ended up all migrating. It was so bad. I ended up having to get everything dissolved and that was extra money. So I will say just make sure that you know what's

what kind of injector you're going to because you don't want them telling you to do more. I will say less is more. Less is more. Start with a little bit and then move up from there because I promise you getting everything dissolved is one of the most painful things. Really? Oh, it hurts way more. Like so fucking painful. It hurts more than getting it done. Damn. I also think when it comes to anything you want to get done...

Don't be scrolling Instagram and see a girl that looks so fucking perfect and take that picture to a surgeon or esthetician or whatever and be like, I want to look like this bitch. Yeah. I think that was an issue with me growing up.

And when I first moved to Vegas and I was comparing myself to not only every girl in Vegas that was like perfect and also everybody on Instagram. But I will say that look at yourself and if there are little things that you think could be tweaked to make you a little bit prettier, that's okay. But don't have an idea. Don't see a picture of a supermodel and be like, I want to look like her. Because that is what happened with me and my butt. It's like I...

wanted to look like Kim K. Like I wanted to be thick. But I'm like, I'm not thick. I'm skinny. Like just appreciate your shape. Yes. Appreciate how you look. And if you want to fix it a little bit, that's okay. But don't think you're going to completely change yourself because you're not and you're going to be so upset when you don't end up looking like what you thought you were going to. Right. You'll never be happy. You look in the mirror and you're like, this isn't Kim Kardashian. Like I thought I got a face transplant.

plant like off her face. I agree with that. And thank you so much, Fabi, for being honest, because the majority of women or just some of the women I know would never say those things. Yeah, always. Honesty is the best route. I thought you were going to say the best policy. Oh, that's cuter. The best policy. Okay, let's move on. So Fabi and I were on TikTok.

And there is this trend right now and I need to fucking talk about it. The trend is you can see how symmetrical your face is. It like inverts your face so you can see the right side and the left side and they merge.

to make your face. Did that even make sense? Yeah. It's like seeing the symmetry of your face. Yes. Thank you. I don't know why I just like struggle with that. It's like very straightforward. Just to give you an idea, you guys, I watched Charlie Jordan do this video right before I flipped the camera screen and tried it on myself.

When I watched the video to see how symmetrical I was, it looked as if an intruder had came into my house and took the video with me. It was Sandra Martinelli. It was fucking... I don't know what Martinelli it was. It was like her sister. It was not me. The right side of my face is someone else. Like, I don't know that bitch. Yeah. I really don't. I mean, I think that I can...

understand where you're coming from on this because I have sat in front of the mirror for countless hours and studied my face and I have definitely decided I have a good side almost not almost to the point that when I go and I go on a date I make sure that he's sitting on the right side because if he's sitting on the right side I'm going to get a call back but if he's sitting on the left probably not going to hear from him again shut the fuck up I'm not kidding

And then I have this like, not an issue, but I suffer from a little bit of dyslexia. Okay. And I'm like, where the fuck is this going? There have been times when I've gone to the dinner and I have a dyslexia flare up and I'll put him on the wrong side and I'm like panicking. I'm panicking the whole dinner.

I'm like, I'm not going to hear back. And I swear that's why I'm not married. It's my dyslexia. Dude, shut the fuck up. Dyslexia like fucked it up real. It has. Okay, so that's why you've been ghosted in the past. Pretty much. You slipped up. You let him see the right side. The left side. The left side. There is no other reason why somebody wouldn't call me back.

I, yeah, I don't even like want to talk about it anymore. It really, it's kind of scary because if I was a 15 year old girl doing that and I saw what the fuck I looked like, that is, that kills yourself. How lucky were we that we got to go through our adolescence years without sex?

Any social media. I can't fucking imagine like the pressure and how much harder it is. I cherish those years before Instagram became a thing. I know. Me too. Me too.

Honestly, though, I'm blaming me not having a husband on my dyslexia, but probably it's because I have zero sex drive. Sophia has to hear about this every day. Yes, I do. I have to hear it from you every single day. And then I also get a ton of fucking messages about this, which is not feeling sexual or not wanting to have sex when you are on birth control. Okay.

How long has it been where you have not felt horny? I've been on birth control for almost two years. So it's been quite a little journey. You haven't felt horny in like two years? It's very rare that I feel horny. I used to masturbate like, I don't know, three times a week. I was going to say that's not the girl I know. I used to love sex. Now it's like maybe I masturbate once a month.

It's difficult to get myself off. And when I have sex, it's like the Sahara Desert. I do not get wet. It's just it's completely changed my sex life. I have no libido. Right. I remember when I was on birth control, I have the same experience.

It was back in the day. I remember I had a boyfriend and when it came time to have sex, which was once in a fucking blue moon, like the stars were aligned and like everything was perfect and he like tricked me. Yes.

I just remember I would get on the mattress, stick my ass up in the air, and in my mind be thinking, Sophia, like, assume the position. Take one for the team. Do what you need to do. I mean, that's better than what I would do. I'd just be, like, full-blown starfish. Yeah.

I thought you were going to say, I just tell them no. And I'm like, but you can only do that so many times. Yeah. That's the thing. I mean, I agree with that. I think that if you're in a relationship and you're used to having sex all the time and then all of a sudden one day you're like, babe, I don't have acne anymore. Yeah.

Well, that's so pretty much that's the reason why I'm on birth control is because I had acne. Right. So you're like, hey, I want clear skin, but we can't fuck anymore. Sorry, babe. Still love you. It's it really it fucking sucks. Like it was so bad, Fabi. I would avoid sex at all costs.

I would avoid the bedroom. Like my life depended on it because you know where sex happens? In bedrooms. And I knew better than to enter those. It was to the point that me and said boyfriend would be sitting on the couch and he would say like, it's late, babe. Like, let's go to bed. Like, let's go in the room. And I would say, I'm

love the fucking couch he would be like babe it's three in the morning can we just like go to bed and i would literally look at him and yell and say are you not watching this incredible film with me am i in this alone like you go to bed it was have you never watched wolf on wall street like look at the acting

So it's rough. It's rough. Yeah. I mean, I can understand. I'm currently going through that. I was on microgestin and I just recently switched my birth control to Lolo.

estrin, which is less hormone, supposedly. According to my dermatologist, she's like, you're going to want to have sex again. I was like, please, for the love of God, because I need an orgasm in my life. Please, because I cannot hear about you talking about the birth control anymore. I love you, but like, I get it. Like, I've been there. I'm like, Sophie, I'm like, if I have to suffer, Sophie has to suffer with me. I know. Hopefully this new one works. Um,

Damn, I can just imagine like the second like you get that libido back. Oh, game on. World, watch the fuck out. I'm coming in fucking hot. Okay, so birth control aside, how often would you want to have sex with your husband? Well, I think it depends on the situation. It really depends on how often I'm seeing said man. You know, when I... Said man. Okay. Okay.

When I think about my future, I imagine like this person leaving the house before I wake up. So when my eyes open, I'm alone in my bed. Okay. And then I get to like live my life with no other human there than like maybe my kids. You know, brunch, whatever, hanging out. And then when he gets home at like 8 p.m., exhausted. Yeah.

If he wants to have sex, I will. But it's because everything else is great. Okay, we're talking about your husband here, right? Yeah. Okay, so you just never want to fucking see him ever is basically what you're saying. Less is more. It's the same with filler. Less is fucking more.

So basically, you only want to see his dick in the nighttime if you have to. Yeah. Okay. So what's your ideal situation? A weekend husband. A weekend husband. Yeah. I mean, I see him at night, obviously, because we're probably living in the same house. So it's like I'm forced. You told me one time that you would be perfectly fine living in a different home. Oh, that's – I Google this like every day. Yeah.

people do it so don't went to paltrow oh really oh i did not know that i'm gonna like stalker now so i

I have considered having separate homes. I have considered having separate apartments in the same building. Or let's say we live in one home. I've considered separate rooms. I don't know. Some sort of separation. Okay. God. That's what I need in my life. So you basically want a sperm donor is like what it sounds like. That pops in here and there. I have considered doing that as well. Yeah. I do want to ask you something though. Mm-hmm.

Say he's a super successful guy, which he will be. Yeah. Because you will not allow anything else. And he's like funding your life. Kids are amazing. He has to travel all the time for work, which you love. Would you care if he is fucking these girls off of seeking arrangements? Yeah.

To be completely honest, I don't think I'd give a flying fuck. I have thought about this many times over. Maybe because I have been in Vegas for so long, I am a little overly realistic, a little cynical. Yeah. But I think there's other things that I care so much more about. My main priority in life isn't having like a loyal, loving boyfriend.

I'm not loving. I do want him to love me. Yeah. But it's just not my main concern. I'm very understanding that people like to have sex. It's a part of our life. And I just... I don't know. It's just not my... It's not a deal breaker. Cheating is not. It's not. Yeah. And I know there's probably so many people who are like, this bitch is crazy. But I just don't care. I mean...

Being polyamorous, like, you would be completely fine with that. I don't... Honestly, I don't really want to know. Like, I want to be so content in my life with my kids and having everything. I don't want to be stressed. As long as I have all of those things, what he does, like, on the side... Is none of my fucking business. Is none of my business. You're living your best life. And he gets to live his. Absolutely. I probably...

I don't 100% agree with you, but I don't 100% disagree with you. Yeah. I probably shouldn't be saying this because I am all about women getting their own money and never relying on a dude for anything. But I think it's okay to be both. Yeah. I mean, I agree. I...

You can want both. Like, I also want to marry a guy that takes care of me and I don't have to work anymore. Yeah. I mean, I agree with you. At this point in my life, I'm trying to set myself up for – the way I think is, like, worst case scenario. And I'm not looking to be saved. I'm looking for someone to complement my life. Oh.

mic drop like that was fucking brilliant wow I will say one thing that I just want to add in is

There is one thing that I do not put up with and it's men who over promise and under deliver. Do not say that you're going to do something and then not do it. And I know this is a little like off track, but I just want to add this in. Okay. But I actually, I understand what you're saying. I...

have dealt with it in like work where people tell you that they're going to do something and then don't do it. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. It's the most unattractive thing. Like just don't open up your mouth to begin with. Just don't say it. Like if you're not planning on doing it, just don't fucking say it. Yes. Simple as that. Like don't piss us off. I agree. I agree. Wow. Women are a little bit taken aback by this segment, but we're being truthful. And...

That's just the type of guys you want. We want you rich. We want you with a little erectile dysfunction and we want you gone. We want you gone. So fucked up. Okay, let's move on to what every person is actually waiting for.

Last episode, Fabi and I briefly mentioned our first sexual experience, and it was with each other. We were each other's first. Always. We need to start this story from the very beginning, though, because the first time that we hooked up was also the first time that we got drunk. I think that's a very important detail here.

Let's tell them how it went down, Fabi. I only remember like 20% of it, so it'll be a little bit difficult. I remember the other 20, so at least we got 40. Yes. We raid the liquor cabinet and find... What was it? It was like orange liqueur. It was some like...

Bullshit like garbage. We wanted to grab the most dingy thing because we knew we could get away with it. You know what I'm saying? Like whatever your mom wasn't actually going to drink. Exactly. We start taking shots.

Out of candle holders. Yeah. For you to get an idea of what we mean by candle shots, basically every shot they were taking was an equivalent to like three normal shots. Mm-hmm. We were using Brett as a chaser. Mm-hmm.

And I remember standing there and we kept saying like, we can't feel anything. Like, this doesn't work. I remember we kept saying that like, this shit does not work. We did not understand that it takes a second for it to hit you. Yeah, it's not instant. You have to give it like 30 seconds, like 10 minutes, whatever the fuck it is. So we just kept taking more. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty much, we kept taking shots. And then at one point, we were like, wait, we're fucked up. And that's when our panties dropped. Okay.

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Fabi and I got completely naked in the middle of my fucking living room. We got naked to the song, I'm Bossy. I'm bossy. I'm the bitch y'all love to hate. You guys know that fucking song. We had it on repeat. So we're listening to I'm Bossy. And I just I find it so hilarious because we are just two little teeny weeny. I embrace this. Bracelet.

Braces, like no tits, like probably not fully developed. I haven't even like fully had puberty or periods. No, we definitely had puberty. We did. Yeah. You're making it sound like we were 10 years old. We were not. Dude, this is why I can't have kids. I don't know when puberty hits. I have no fucking clue. We definitely had gone through puberty. And we had our periods. Definitely had periods. Okay. Did I have braces? Yes. Okay. Did we look?

We were I was slow to develop. We didn't look like we should be like jamming out to like what is the fucking line in the song? You don't have to love me. You don't even have to like me, but you will respect me. And we're running around my fucking house saying that we didn't look like we belonged.

I know that we were feeling a little bit horny, though, obviously, because we hooked up later. But I knew we were feeling that way because we tried to watch porn on my living room TV, my family's television. And I don't know if cable still has porn on it. I think it does. Are you sure? I have no idea. Okay. I use the internet on my phone. Let's get to the good stuff.

We head to the shower and we hook up.

huge shower, two shower heads. We're not fucking with one. We're fucking with two. Water coming down, cascading all around us. I felt like I was on the set of a music video. Like I felt cool and sexy as fuck. But honestly, what do you think we looked like? The sloppiest, most inexperienced bitches ever. Yeah. Because we were. It was

It was our first hookup. Yeah, we didn't know what we were doing. No. I will say, though, we were very experimental and open, and I do think we tried, like, a little bit of everything. I do remember us, like, attempting to scissor. Mm-hmm. I remember that as well.

Scissor fucking sisters on the outside looking in. We looked like a disaster. Just our little titties slipping and sliding around to fucking I'm bossy blasting in the background. If my mom would have walked in on that, I just I can't imagine. Hold on. Didn't one of us like fucking slip?

Yeah. I do remember one of us falling, but what I remember a little bit more is for some reason we were using shampoo. I remember my eyeballs burning, my vagina was burning, and then I ended up with a fucking yeast infection like two days later. Dude, shut the fuck up. Yeah. So thank you. We were like washing each other's hair probably. We were like, so that

what you're supposed to do when you hook up in the shower. You like actually shower after. Exactly. So then we took a little stroll to your mom's house and hooked up again. Yeah. Like we couldn't get enough of each other. We couldn't. We could not keep our hands off of each other. Star-crossed lovers. So basically that is the fucking story. Why...

you and I were each other's first hookup. I don't know. We just, that's what we wanted to do. Yeah. We like Dick now. I definitely prefer to hook up with men. Do I still love women? Yes. I think that we were just like curious. I agree. Little

Sluts. We were. And I don't know. We got drunk. And when I drink, I get horny. Yes. So, of course, the first time drinking, that was bound to happen. Yes. And you were the only person there to help me out. Wow. That was really fucking sweet. You know what? Everyone listening, you have all thought about fucking your best friend. I do think everybody's had the thought at least once.

every single person. Okay, that's the story. Let's get into fucking questions.

Thank you.

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Fabi, are you ready? Yes. Questions, stories, advice. Let's give the sleuths and the people what they fucking want. Question number one. Please keep...

keep me anonymous. I recently discovered OnlyFans charges on my husband's card from about nine months ago when we were dating. I set boundaries and told him I viewed this as cheating. He also vividly remembers the conversation, yet he did it anyways. My dad cheated on my mom and my husband knew I'd be out the door the second he cheated. I

I gave him the exact dates that he purchased it, and he still denied it until I sent him screenshots of the charges. What do I do and how do I move forward when that trust has been broken? Do I just have to find a whole new man? We just bought a house, so this is really throwing me for a trip. Any advice is helpful. All right. Fabi's stepping in.

I have a lot to say on this one. First of all, if you think you need to find a whole new man because your man watched porn, you have a reality check coming for you. There is nothing...

about watching porn that is considered cheating in my opinion it's like grow the fuck up i'm sorry but come on i don't think of only fans as porn i think it would like kind of bother me i think if you just like go on balessa or pornhub or you jizz or whatever the fuck and pick a video that's one thing i think if you like saw out a girl from an instagram and you're paying her money i

I mean, honestly, if my dude wants to get played by Bella Thorne and think he's going to get a naked pic and actually just get a picture of her in like her swimsuit, like be my fucking guest.

Guys, did you hear Bella Thorne told everyone she was going to pose nude, made over a million dollars in like 24 hours. Insane. And then gave them pictures in lingerie. Yeah. Well played. Well played, Bella. Fuck, Fabi. Maybe we should like be doing that shit. All right. Next question. Sorry, girl. We like don't have an answer for you.

Okay, I will say, though, when she says, do I have to find a whole new man? No, but also if you told a guy that you didn't want him doing something specifically, no matter what the fuck it is, I don't want you drinking milk from a cow. I want you only drinking almond milk. It's really important to me. But it just comes down to what I said. It's like pick your battles. Like you're going to battle it over milk.

I mean, if I express to him, like, it's really important to me. Bitch, it depends how much you're knocking him. That's what we're saying. If it's your one thing, then okay, maybe he should have respected you a little bit more. But if you're over here, like, okay, no Pornhub, no OnlyFans, no milk from a fucking cow, like, then no. Okay? I don't think you need to break up with him over it. That's all I have to say.

He should have been more careful. Next question. I'm pretty sure a dude wrote this in. When a girl you are emotionally involved with hears your phone go off with text and her response is always, must be all the girls you're talking to, just joking. Is there ever a time when that is really meant as a joke or is there a different meaning behind it? P.S. We've only been talking for three weeks.

Okay, I used to say that with my ex, but we were together for years. I was just going to say that. And I actually did do it jokingly. It was just me being playful. Yeah. I would never utter those words if I was dating a guy for three weeks. Absolutely not. You are not allowed to play, like fight that way. No. You have to play the game the first three weeks. You're acting like you don't care. Yes. You're like, I didn't even know you had a phone. Like that's the craziest shit. Yeah.

So three weeks in, I don't think it's a joke. No, I don't either. I think I'm getting Gone Girl vibes. Yeah. She's like, oh, my God, just joking. But really? It's like, ding. Yes. She's like looking at her phone like wanting to smash it on the ground. Yes.

Be careful. Be careful. But sometimes, you know, the crazy girls are the best in bed. That's true. So pick your poison. Next. Hi, Sophia. The pot has been so real and refreshing. Thank you. I had to write in about the girl asking for fart advice a couple weeks ago. If you are unable to hold in a fart or even an explosive shart,

Especially in the morning when you've just hooked up or are starting to hang out with someone and don't want to own it, you can go into the bathroom, wad up a bit of toilet paper, and hold it over your asshole to take care of things quietly. I've used this with multiple one-night stands. I just started dating.

Wait, that is incredible. How many times have we been sitting on the toilet peeing, clenching our buttholes because we don't want a loud fart to come out? When you're first seeing a guy and the trick was to wad up a piece of paper and hold it over your butthole?

Brilliant. Brilliant. I every woman deserves to hear this. Every single woman. The worst is when you don't think it's going to make a sound and then it does. And then and you're just praying to God that they didn't hear it.

But you're in a hotel room in Belize and he's laying on the bed on his phone texting and you know for damn sure he fucking heard it. Yeah. Wad up the toilet paper. I'm going to try it the next time. Me too. I'm sitting on the toilet scared that I'm going to shart. Me fucking too. All right. I saved the absolute craziest shit for last. So, Fabi, hold on to your seatbelt.

Hi, Slu, huge fan of the show. Okay, so this story is about an old friend of mine from high school. Her boyfriend was really fucking weird and one day bought her a piglet costume as a joke. And when she had it on, they fucked.

The next day, he asked her to put it back on before they fucked, and she thought it was weird, but just played along. And halfway through, when they were fucking, she looked back and he was dressed... Okay, I have to be honest. I skipped this, and I did not see this fucking part of the question. She looked back and he was dressed as Winnie the Pooh.

Still the weirdest fucking story I've ever heard to this day had to share. Is she lying? I don't know. You've heard of like the furries fetish or something. No. Really? People put like big costumes of different types of animals and it's an erotic experience and fuck. Yeah, I think that people have very strange experiences.

And listening to the story, does it sound outlandish? Yes. But do I believe it? Yeah. Okay. This is the thing. I mean, this is why I don't believe it. There's something fishy here. She was dressed as Piglet. Uh-huh. Okay. He is fucking her from behind. Uh-huh. Because she had to look back. How is he fucking her from behind and she looks back and all of the sudden he's dressed as Winnie the Pooh? Yeah.

I feel like unless the definition of Pooh Bear is just a shirt with no pants on. But still, no. This logistically does not make fucking sense. So please write in and explain it to me, please, because I am very fucking interested.

And whoever is into this type of thing, also let me know. All right, guys. That is it for today. Fabi, I love you so much. Please come back. You will be coming back very soon. Where can they find you? Fabi F baby, I do want to add that

I was nervous to come on this show the first time because I just wasn't sure the response that I was going to receive. And I want to say that everything was so positive. I was so happy reading everybody's messages and you guys made me feel like a bad bitch. Oh my God, that is so sweet. The sleuths are the fucking best. Yeah, you guys really are. I try not to be sappy, but... Like whenever I'm having a moment of low self-esteem, I look at my DMs and I'm like, wait, oh my God.

Guys, our community is the fucking best, and I don't care if we sound like sappy crybabies, okay? It's amazing. It's all love. It's all love. Sleuths, I love you so much. Fabi obviously loves you so much. You can find me, Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y, on all social media, including TikTok and Instagram.

there is going to be new merch soon you guys and as always because I'm a greedy begging ass bitch please subscribe to the show it's the reason I can continue doing what I'm doing and rate me five stars because there are still fucking haters that rate me one for absolutely no reason just that they are miserable with their lives and hate me

Okay? Love you guys so much. And I will see you next week. Bye. Bye.