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Welcome to Sophia with an F. Sit back and relax while you listen to my soothing, sultry voice and fucking subscribe, bitches. In all seriousness, put that shit in your dating profile. My cousin Alex, you may have heard of her. She said that she put subscribe to Sophia with an F in her Tinder bio and that bitch has dudes knocking at her back door.
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I am joined by Indie fucking Blue. Severe. That's the last name, right? Yeah. Which, what a wild last name. I fucking love that. I was born to be an influencer or a porn star. With a name like that. Indie is a 23-year-old writer, entrepreneur, and influencer. She has a cult following on social media. You did your research. Well, I mean, Alex, the producer, did. Which, by the
Alex is in the room guys we didn't let her leave and Indy you have a baby boy named Seven he's adorable thank you I love it I love it like I love that for you I was thinking of um making an account for him
You should. Or like, does it scare you? Like where I like speak like I'm him. Wow. She's really trying to like get ruffle my feathers right now. That was a baby Alessi reference. Baby Alessi was literally that. Baby Alessi, I'm sorry she carried the show on her back. Right.
That child? Nine months old? 100%. That problems for life. Okay, but also me impersonating her is like what made the show. Oh, that's what made me fall in love with you was Baby Alessi. Was it really? Yes. I mean, you were always funny, but that shit had me like, I think I was with Kate. And I was like, rewind it. I'm like, listen, just listen to these 10 minutes. Dude, but I was so fucked up. I'd be like, mom.
I'm like, I'm a little slut now. And I was like, I need to go to hell. Like, that's not okay. We're in a pink...
fuzzy room mirrors all around it's the sickest location I've ever recorded in and Indie we're in your clothing store Lonely Ghost yes ma'am and it's set up like a grocery store right yeah why do I say right like I don't know like I just walked in here it makes no sense but
That it's a grocery store. It's the most Instagramable place I've ever been. That was the point. So. Well, you fucking succeeded. And, Indie, we're both the black sheep influencers of Utah. Do you kind of feel that? No, I feel it. And I told you this...
But when I found out that you were from Utah, because I think that's how I found out about you, was because I had just moved to LA and everyone was dying over the fact that I was from Utah. They had so many questions. And they were like, oh, this girl started a podcast, like a sex podcast, and she's from Salt Lake. And I was like, I highly doubt it, but send me the link. It runs.
And then I found you and holy shit, I knew we would be soulmates. Oh my god. Because here's the thing is, I am the Mormon Mia Khalifa. That's who you get on your show. The Mormon Mia Khalifa. That's how they look at me?
Right. When I'm really not that bad. I mean. And so when you came out with your podcast. You were like, I am a saint compared to this whore. I totally get that. Thank you for that. Yes. Is all I have to say. But the Mormon Mia Khalifa, like, you could, like, do porn in, like, the garments. That would be fucking dope.
That's a thing. That's got to be a thing already. I don't think so. But we're about to make it one on fucking OnlyFans. We're going to be millionaires and you'll never hear a podcast episode from me ever again. Take a shot every time me and Sophia come up with a new business idea. Yes. We know our power together is so strong. It is. Any business venture we go. Anything we do. So back to the black sheep thing.
I feel like so many fucking influencers come out of Utah. Right? All of them. Every single one of them. Why? Like, why the fuck is that? I mean, I have a theory. I can go first or you can't. Yeah, let me hear your theory. Okay, my theory, and I don't want to offend people. What the fuck am I saying? Like, I offend people, like, all day, every single day on this podcast.
I think that women are raised to... Their main goal is to get married and procreate. That's, like, kind of the goal if you're, like, a Mormon woman. It's not kind of the goal. It is the goal. It is. Okay, thank you. Because it fucking is. That you just explained it. Yes. And so I think, like, if that is the mentality, it's how do you, like, get a guy? How do you get married? It's, like, look hot. Yeah.
And I think that's where it stems from. It's like, dude, tell me the hottest people are not in Utah. Oh, yeah. You can tell. You can pick them out of a lineup. Yes. Dude, I lived in New York and people were like, oh, my God, like models like New York. And I'm like, go to Utah and like the hottest fucking bitches. And I think that's why. Well, it's also just such a comparison thing.
It's such a keeping up with the Joneses mentality where, like, there's, I don't know the statistics, but the Botox, not, you know, just plastic surgery in Utah is huge. I think it's, like, the second highest in the country next to, like, Miami. Exactly. Yes. And...
You just think about, same with, like, opioid addictions. Yeah. That's another place we can go. Guys, you should all come visit Utah. Like, it's a fun place. Get your boobs done and, like, get an opiate problem. But it's, but yeah, you do see it. Yes. It's, like, perfectionism. Exactly. Right? It's, like, you have a theory. I have a theory of why...
And it is with the Mormonism. Okay. But it's because in Mormonism, they're so, they put a strong emphasis on journaling. Mm-hmm. And, like, that was such a big deal when I was a kid. My mom and her friends, they'd scrapbook.
Oh. Did your parents do that? Like, I just remember scrapbooking parties in the 90s. Like, right. It was such a big deal. I mean, my parents are foreign as fuck, so, like, they don't really, like, fall into that thing. But, yes. So, yeah, there was so... It was all about documenting and journaling. And I think when blogging came, it was a way, like, for them to be, like... Do their scrapbooking on social media. Yes, literally. And...
I think they literally were the OG influencers. Wait. Like, I think, like, Carol Arendt, you guys all follow them. Amber Fillerup, like, Tezza, like, Hello Fashion Blog. There's all these bloggers. Rachel Parcell. Rachel Parcell. Mm-hmm. There's all these bloggers who...
We're genuinely starting that because that's what you do when you're Mormon. Right. Like, you graduate and you date and you marry and... You scrapbook. You scrapbook. That sounds worse than it is. But I...
remember reading somewhere that the biggest scrapbooking convention is in Utah. Of course it is! That doesn't surprise me at all. And scrapbooking is literally fucking Instagram on paper. Yeah, exactly. Wow. It starts to make sense too. And then it's, again, it's like how much of social media is just like
proving that you're better than other people. I mean. That's like Mormonism. And that, I'm going to get hate for saying that. True. But that's, and that's not what they teach you. That's just what the culture is, you know? Exactly. Exactly. It's embedded in this culture and whether it's doctrine or whether it's just something that people do, that's just, I grew up thinking I was better than other people because I was Mormon. Really? Oh yeah. Like I knew one person who,
In all of my elementary school that wasn't Mormon. And I felt so bad for her. She was one of my best friends. And I remember in the back of my mind thinking, well, that's just so sad. Like, she's such a sweet girl and our family is so nice. And it's just so sad that they'll never actually be happy. Right. Because that is actually what they teach you. Is that the church is the only source of happiness. Right. So that was...
I mean, so my brother, he's 17. And I remember growing up, he was like friends with like some of the Mormon kids. And he like wouldn't get invited to like their birthday parties and shit. Oh my gosh. Isn't that so sad? It's so fucked up. No, like talking to my friends about it, we're like, oh, like you knew the house on your street that like we don't go trick or treating there because of
shut the fuck up they're like you know that house is like giving out fucking like white claws like don't let them go there
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I mean, to be honest, like what the Mormon church stands for is like not bad at all. Well, it makes anyone feel good. Community service. Yeah. Family. Yeah. Like those things are all so important. I think the problem is the church is so focused on that's the only way.
Yeah. When they're using ways that we can all be happy. It's like universal ways to be happy. Right. It's like if you step out of the construct they have, it's like shame, bad. And I think that's like where it like turns into a thing. Exactly. Yeah. That's the issue. By the way, guys, your clothing store, we're in Provo, Utah. Do you live here? Yes. Oh, you live in Provo?
Oh my gosh. Okay, wow. I'm not like shitting on it. I'm just like, whoa. I'm like very protective of... Provo? I'm just kidding. Okay. I was going to be like, well, have you heard Paris Hilton's thing about... What is it? Provo Cannon School? It's right up the road, babe. Stop. Should we like drive by? Yes. Let's go and pick up signs. It's Provo.
Provo Canyon School. And she suffered abuse there and, like, is trying to get it shut down, which I'm all about that. You know, you're gonna, like, go pick it outside. But...
I lived here for a month. Uh-huh. Still confused by that. I'm going to explain it one day, guys. I can't. It's, like, confidential information. It was when I was working on my first episode and I was, like, working on it. You had to, like, get to your darkest place. I had to go to an Airbnb and do it because I was, like, so fucked up in the head. And I was, like, I can't work from home. I, like, had, like, people over. Whatever. But not, like, Hawaii. No.
Palm Springs. I just felt like Provo was like the most calming like getaway. You know what I'm saying? It's peaceful. It is. Yes. Really peaceful. This is the story. I went to 7-Eleven when I was living in Provo for a month and I was parked outside and there were eight, ten like
homeless people but like i'm not i'm not gonna say what drugs they were on but like they were on something there was we don't discriminate we don't i mean we do drugs any kind of drugs but i was gonna say i don't do crack lol i tried crack one time never again but okay i was sitting in the car outside of the 7-eleven my friend was going in to like buy whatever there was a lady and
It's freezing. She has flip-flops. Not on her feet.
next to her like on the sidewalk she's walking around barefoot she's like freaking the fuck out she's she's not well okay her hair like sores all over her face like she has there's an issue and she's like holding her hands like clutching them like putting her like face in her hands and i'm sitting in the car and i'm like that's really sad like whatever she comes up to the car okay um
I don't know how many times I'm going to say I lived in New York. In New York, you know, homeless people like be standing there and they like want money. They never walk up to your fucking car. Yeah. She starts knocking on the window, trying to open the fucking door. And I'm like, like screaming. Like I literally ducked down. Indie, she was there for fucking 10 minutes.
10 minutes. Like, standing next to the car. Wait, why didn't you film it? Indie. I was worried about my life. The views. Oh!
I wish I was like that type of bitch because my life, I would make so much more money. I don't film shit. Does that even sound scary? No, that's terrifying. You know, you never expect them to like try to open the door and get in the car. You know what I'm saying? That's bold. So that was like my Provo situation. Let's move the fuck on from like Utah Mormon and Provo. People are like, that's a little insular. Let's move the fuck on. I need to bring this up.
You have beef with Addison Rae. My worst nightmare. My arch nemesis. I'm just kidding. It's not beef, but she's on your hit list. The funny thing about that is I actually don't think she knows who I am. I don't think she knows my name. I don't think she knows...
What lonely ghost is? I mean, not to be rude, but like, no. This is what I think happened. And I... Explain what happened. Okay, yeah, I gotta tell. Okay, so for the girlies at home. Basically, I have this brand, our like most famous catchphrase is I Love You Say It Back. We like, it's pretty much our whole brand. And we, it was like a year ago, we asked Addison Rae if she'd wear a shirt.
Which my business partner is the one that reached out to her and it was kind of hilarious because I don't think he knew who she was. Really? I think his daughters were probably just like, you need to send stuff to Addison. And he's just like, okay. I was almost like embarrassed that he would even reach out. Because the fact that we'd get a response from someone with that many followers was just...
So she responded. Yeah, she responded. It was crazy. And we were stoked. Like, I called my little sister on the spot and she was tripping. I bet. And it just sounds dumb, but when you have your, I mean, I'm sure it's the same when you're a podcast. Like, when you get a good guest, it's a big fucking deal. It's a huge deal. And just getting, like, a video of Addison Rae in our shirt, like, that's insane for our business. I mean, she could, like, charge, like, what, 100k for something like that?
And she just did it for free. That's dope. Yeah, so I've always liked her. I think she's darling. This has nothing to do with her. But she comes out with a makeup line. I don't know. Uh-huh.
And on all the packaging and the little lip glosses and cases, everything says, I love you, say it back. Like the mirror. You flip the mirror up and it says, I love you, say it back. That is, hold on. So you sent her your merch. Yeah, and she wore it. And it says, I love you, say it back. She wore it. Posted in it, I'm assuming. Yes. And then like a month later or whatever, she releases a makeup line and it says, I love you, say it back.
Yeah. And that is fucking nuts. It was funny. I was like trying to wonder how to handle it because, I mean, we could have taken legal action. Absolutely. I would have. But I was like, I bet they'll try. Like, I want to hear what they have to say. They like reached out and... Oh, her team did? Her team reached out because our fans were pissed. People don't get that like...
I can't explain why I, like, rally up just the most diehard bitches in the world. I love that. But they literally will go to war for me. Right. And they did. And I don't ever ask them to. I have to reel them in sometimes. Because, like, these girls were going off to the point where, like...
their brand like couldn't ignore anymore okay so you're following yeah they like went psycho our following went psycho and i was like you stole this from them whatever so i wanted to clear it up behind the scenes before i ever said anything because i didn't want drama with her like that's like having drama with like i'm like no girl use me like take anything you want just like
Right, but I think... Answer that text. So with Addison Rae, it was like, I don't know, I just kind of assumed that she wasn't as involved. Like, I never really in the beginning, like, had any... I mean, she wasn't. Yeah, I just was never mad at her because... I mean, when you're that big, like, what does she have, like, 50-something million followers? What's so crazy, too, is this is... We're entering such a different type of...
of social media in the sense where you really do have these people who are like normal kids dancing in high school and they have one viral video and it goes crazy and then suddenly they have this massive following and suddenly they're moved to LA and their whole family lives in a mansion and now you're best friends with Kourtney Kardashian. Like, what a life. Like, I don't... I literally...
I just have the most respect for those kids that are being thrown into this shit. They don't know what they're supposed to do. They don't. They don't know how to handle... No. And I honestly feel bad because I don't think...
People like her have a lot of say when they get in those businesses. I mean, when you're that big, like, your team runs your shit, right? And, like, that's just how it is. Yeah, they write your shit for you. Everything. Everything. Can I just do a side note? Yeah. Why does Kourtney Kardashian hang out with Addison Rae? This is such a mystery. How old is Kourtney? Hey.
40? Yeah. Something? She's gotta be 40. She's gotta be 40-something. Addison is what? 19? 19. Why? Why? I personally... She's gotta be awesome. That's the only thing. She's... I bet. But, like, I couldn't... I can't even hang out with people that are, like, 21. I'm like, ooh. Like, different. Like, we're on different pages. I...
Maybe that's why Kourtney likes her. I mean... They just get to, like, bop around LA and make little dances, right? Like, I get that, but, like... I don't know. I feel like when I'm 40-something, like, I'll just get Botox to be youthful. Like, I'm not gonna be like, let's get the 19-year-olds in here. Addison Rae...
I, you know what, Addison, if you're listening, this is me saying it, not Indie. She stole your shit or her team stole your shit. So then what happened? Because like you didn't want to make it a big thing and then your followers did. Yeah. Okay. So I kind of thought that it would get resolved. They messaged us saying they wanted to coexist. Yeah.
So, like, if we can have... What the fuck does that mean? They basically mean, like, they're not gonna do merch. They're not gonna do home. They're not gonna do anything else. They're just gonna do makeup. So, like, if they can have makeup, like, we can have everything else. Okay, right. Because you trademarked it as merch and you trademarked it as makeup. Yeah. So, we're just trying to have a coexisting agreement. And, you know, but from my point of view, I'm like, okay, well, we need to get something out of this because this girl has, like...
60 million followers and she comes and starts using our phrase like that's just game over for us just like sucks to suck at that point wait you have Addison Rae stealing your shit I would have fucking capitalized on that moment so hard well this is what sucks is like I wanted to but I I didn't want drama and so I was like we need to have an agreement that
like, let's get the team. Let's get this. Like I was trying to, cause I probably would have popped off, but I was like, no, like I need to like make the best of this situation. Well, I mean, not even just like to pop off, but I feel like I would have had like my attorney go in and be like, I need a cut of whatever money she makes off the makeup. Like I would have gone in hard. So that's also why I was kicked out of my company. And I'll hire you. Yeah.
You will? I need legal advice. Actually, should I, like, try to do the bar exam? That's hot. You could be, like, the new Kim. Yes. Okay, so they want to coexist. Yeah. You don't want to start drama. So, coexisting, I'm like, okay. Was it, like, a contract? Well, no, they just wanted to talk. They wanted to have, like, a Zoom call so we can just discuss. Oh, Addison's people. Yeah. I'm trying to think, like, beforehand, like...
What does this coexisting look like? Because, you know, your client has 60 million more followers than us. So, like, what's your idea of coexisting? Like, do we get anything out of it? And so I'm like, I'm trying to think ahead of time. I came into that meeting with my receipts, bitch. Like, I am a...
Like, I'm young. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with these business meetings. It's just right off the bat. I knew like they were not going to be. They weren't going to cooperate. Yeah. They were just like they were so they were saying that they didn't steal it and they were trying to say that they didn't and.
she's like i've said this to my son i've said i love you say it back to my son for years i'm like yeah you and every other mom in america i don't want to cut you off so her legal team or whoever the fuck tried to say yes i say i love you say it back to her son yes okay that's low-key abuse to like talk to your kid and be like i love you now say it back bitch hi i
called Child Protective Services on Addison Rae's team. Dude, that's wild. So yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, so does my business partner. Like that's the thing with his kids too. But anyways, when did you guys trademark it? Let's cut to the chase. Right. And she's just like, oh, well, we trademarked that in April. And I was like, when in April? And she's like, like early April. And I was like, was it April 28th? Because I actually have it down. I think it's April 28th.
And they were just like, yeah, I went prepared. I'm like, because I know they were going to just try to take advantage of me. Of course. They thought we were a small brand. They thought, like, we didn't know what we were doing. And all I knew was that I had this very loyal following and community that was going to be pissed. Right. Because they take things personal. Right. So you brought up the trademark. Yeah. And then what was the conclusion? The coexisting agreement was...
Okay. I came up with a genius plan. I had to get something out of it. So I was like, let's just send each other a little PR package. Like she's been sending her PR packages to all the influencers. Just send me one. I'll do a little post about it. I'll send her one. She'll do a little post about it. We tag each other's brands. The end.
Okay, that's smart. Simple. So simple and very smart. Would take her maybe two seconds. Yeah. Throw on a shirt, turn on a little hoodie song, and do a little dance. Yeah. It's not hard, and that was too much for them. First, they agreed to it, and then a week goes by. We've sent our package. We're waiting for the post, and they say...
Okay, like, we sent Indie a kit, like, let us know when she posts and Addison will repost it to her story. So last minute they tried to switch the terms and be like... So your plan was to send her your merch and she posts and, like, gives you a shout out and, like, your brand. Yeah.
And she was going to send you her makeup. You're going to give it a shout out. Yeah. And then what they ended up doing is just reposting you shouting out her. Yeah. And to me, what what made me so mad about that was this whole thing just felt so much like, oh, well, like, yeah, you guys made up. You guys made it up first. But.
We're bigger than you, so. Right. It's just these big guys thinking they can, like, get away with stealing little guys' shit. Oh, absolutely. I mean, the entertainment industry in general. Oh, I have it all the time. They are going to take advantage of you. Like, bottom line.
line. Yeah. I don't trust fucking anybody. Yeah. You know? You can't. No. So she never posted your shit. Oh, no, no, no. She actually did. So she did end up posting. So. Yeah, but it was so funny how she did it. She posted it, like, in the middle of... You know how influencers will do...
five hauls like in a row like just got a bunch of packages and then it'll be like just that she like threw mine in between like a David Dobrik and like a Stassi like Kylie's best friend she's like guys I have Armani invisible ghost and then I have David Dobrik
Straight up. I'm like, the effort? Wow. But, I mean, again, I will say I don't have beef with that girl. No. Like, at all. Yeah. I just think it's sad that she probably doesn't even know what happened. Mm-hmm. I think it's sad when, like, these big business people see opportunities with, like, really talented people.
young like creators what do we call them? TikTokers. Content creators. And they kind of just want to capitalize off of them and we'll give you like we'll here we'll give you a makeup brand. You know what? I like really applaud you. Did you get like a bunch of hate? Yes. You did. Oh my gosh. So much. From like the Addison Rae followers. I was having drama from everywhere like I was just like
You know the internet just wakes up and picks someone new every day. Yeah. That was a lesson I had to learn because it felt so personal every single time. But yeah, I... The Addison Rae shit, like, I had to turn off my phone for a week. Damn. And, like, notifications would...
actually send and like make my heart drop right still to this day like I sound so weird but like I have all of my texts on do not disturb and my friends are so annoyed they say I'm the worst texter but it's because like when shit like that happens it's
And I'm getting notifications and my heart drops. I'm like, that's either someone telling me that the Uber's here or they're going to kill my firstborn son. Dude, it's right. It's like you went through, I mean, it's first world problems, but you went through something traumatic as fuck. Yeah. I mean, when you're dealing with that much like online bullying, which happens.
Hi. Exactly. Like, I have the same thing, you know? Like, hi, I was one of your bullies. Wait, I fucking love you. Okay. Okay. You know what, Indie? We just... Pull that shit up. Let's get it out of the way. So I had...
literally millions of people involved in my drama, which I'm assuming my listeners know what the fuck that was. I'm not going to explain it. And I would get thousands, literally thousands of DMs a day from
Some were nice. 80% were like, I'm going to draw you a map to the nearest bridge so you can jump off of it. Really specific. Trigger warning. Suicide is not something to joke about. But Indie, you... Guys, listen. Indie kind of jumped on the hate train. I jumped on the hate train.
I will. It's embarrassing as shit. I tweeted Dave Portnoy. That's like a wait. Okay. Well, you you reminded me of it. I don't even remember what I tweeted. Yeah, I okay. So I think you um, I think they were like a couple. I said, okay. Actually, I know I said I said should Sophia pay child support now?
bitch you should and then you were like she should bitch you abandoned those girls exactly okay but this is i love it you can just like own it and be like fuck yeah i did well here's the thing i'll say about that is i mean obviously like i'm a huge fan of you i've always loved you i've always fucked with you
But like if you were to name search yourself and like that tweet came up, you wouldn't know that. You wouldn't know I was a fan. Right. You're going to see that and like your heart would drop. I know because that happens to me all the time. And so I think it's just it's so hard when there's something trending and relevant and you want to just get a quick laugh. Yeah. Because it's so harmless. You don't think. Yeah. One, you don't think the person's going to see it. And.
And now I'm here getting interviewed by her, so... Cancel me, please. And now she's here fucking roasting me. But honestly, like, when I tweeted that, I was just... That's genuinely... I think I was just trying to be funny with, like, a relevant topic. Because I've always, always... You've always been my girl. So, Indie, I... I don't blame you for doing that. I do blame you at the same time. Just because, like, you know how it is. Like, oh, I... That...
That was a learning lesson for me. Right. Yes. I am so curious. Like when all the shit came out that was like, Sophia, like fucking did this and like blah, blah, blah. Everything they said about me. Like, did you low key believe it? Because I don't blame you if you did. No, me and Kate were even talking like right before we came here. Mm hmm.
We were like, what did she do wrong? Like, it's because I think, like, in apology situations where these YouTubers will make apologies and, like, you know, how she made a big video and you just came back and made a fucking podcast. Right. And that was so impressive to me because, one...
That's hard to do. Like, it would have been so much easier for you to just, like, move on to another part of your life and remove yourself from that. That was, like, one of my favorite things was your first episode. Like, it wasn't an apology. Mm-hmm. It was, like, it was, like, it was so sick. You were just, like...
so here I am like I'm still really depressed about this shit right like I'm getting back up right and honestly like I don't I don't know if I would say I believed in the narrative but I think everyone will say like when they heard your side of the story they were like okay yeah yeah wow thank god I put that episode out it's like I almost didn't really I was so fucked up making that episode you have no I was living
in provo that should say it all okay so we're gonna talk about sex and you said nothing's off limit oh god i'm not scared at all my boyfriend is probably like no don't even worry about i'm like how big is his dick send me a picture how does he fuck no so you've heard about soaking the provo soak
Wait. The legendary Provo soap? Wait, what's a Provo soap? I'm just kidding. Is it that? Is it where they like put the dick in but don't move? Okay, okay, yes. But hold on. So guys, soaking is...
When you put your dick in a girl's pussy, but then you don't move. Like, you don't gyrate. You dock it. You dock it. You dock the boat. Yeah, and you just chill. And you just chill there. And in the eyes of God, you're good. Exactly. I think it happened because of, like, the Mormon culture, because you're supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. Yep. So they...
That was, like, their way around it, right? And they're like, it's not sex. If it's not, like, there's not, like, fucking hitting your hips. Don't thrust. Exactly. So, the thing is, you're about to die, Indie. Have you heard about the Provo push? No. Have you heard about it? I'm scared. Okay, everyone.
Everyone, attention, please. The promo push is when a guy sticks his dick in a girl. So it's soaking. They're not moving. And the guy has his, like, homie come in, go underneath the bed, and put his feet up on
on the mattress and moves the mattress so it's like he's not thrusting but like his friend they're just working the system they're being creative right I when I heard that shit I was fucking shocked
Have you ever soaked or know anyone that has? No, that's like an urban legend. Is it? But but like, I know it's real. I just don't. I feel like that's so embarrassing. Right. So you don't know anyone. I don't know anyone. Do you? Because they wouldn't say it. I mean, they wouldn't say it. What about the poop hole loophole? Oh, gosh. What's that?
You don't know what that is? Wait, is that just like anal? Yes. I feel like that's actually like a thing. They do do that. The Mormons are so good at just like skirting around the rules. Right. 100%. Yeah. So you didn't do the poop hole loophole. I didn't, unfortunately. Wow. I wish you did. But like low-key, you have. She told me before that like she did. We signed an NDA, bitch.
Okay, so you grew up very Mormon. When did you lose your virginity? Because you're supposed to wait till marriage, right? Yeah, so I had a boyfriend when I was 16 and we were pretty serious and he went on a mission. So I don't know. People probably don't know. Wait, explain a mission to them. Missions? A mission is where a boy or you can be a girl...
Goes to, um, or you can be trans, or you can be... No, you can't. Do you go on a mission? Really? Excuse me, my producer just let me know that you can't be trans and go on a mission, so Mormon Church, I'm not trying to shit on you, but that needs to be changed, so there you go. They're gonna listen to me, watch. So, Jackson, my boyfriend, went on a mission, and...
hated it and he wanted to come home and the thing is you can't go on a mission if you've had sex and so i mean that's what they say they'll like work with some people if you can repent but it was basically like the most it was crazy like the whole time we were dating we couldn't take things too far or else he wouldn't be allowed to go on a mission i think it's
The only reason he was Mormon is so we could meet because he's my soulmate. Wait, is that the guy you're with? Yeah. It sounds so silly. Oh my God, that's so cute. No, it sounds silly, but like you'd meet him and you're like, this poor boy was never meant to be caged in a religion. But we, yeah, I think he just felt like he had to go because, you know, that's another thing is like, I remember saying to my mom, like I would never marry a non-return missionary. And I think he overheard it.
And was like, hey, I have to go on a mission if I want to marry this girl. Right. Isn't that so sad? So sad. So he goes and is, like, having terrible anxiety, like, suicidal thoughts. He's not doing well. And the whole time, like, I'm wanting him to stay because I know if he comes home, everyone at my school is going to think it's because we had sex. Oh. And that humiliation...
And shame, like, was more important at that point to me than my boyfriend's literal mental health and well-being. Wow. But that's kind of... But I don't blame you. Yeah, I mean, I was... I remember getting my nails done and telling...
The girl like, oh yeah, Jackson's actually coming home. And her saying like, oh, it sucks because like everyone's just going to think it's because you had sex. And I was like, what? When we really did work so hard to keep him worthy to go. And so we had sex like a week after he came home. As you fucking should. And the funniest part about it was, this sounds crazy, but...
I was almost on a TV show about being a Mormon. Really? Think, like, The Hills. They were going to do a show? They wanted me to be, like, the Mormon Lauren Conrad. Oh, my God. And, like, they came out. They filmed a pilot. It was that summer. And we had to sit in these interviews, like they do on The Housewives Bachelor. Right. We had to sit in these, like, confessionals and talk about why we're saving ourselves for marriage and, like...
Oh, so it was a reality show? It was a reality show. When you were still Mormon. Yes. And it was that summer. And so we're having to lie to these cameras and be like, yeah, we're saving ourselves. I felt so guilty. Like, it was the craziest shit of my life. I'm sorry. I imagine you, like, sweating like a horned tree. You're, like, sweating bullets and you're like, virgin. Virgin. Poo-poo-loo-poo.
I don't know why I lost my virginity, too. That's kind of beautiful. Come on. That's so... We can make that so poetic. That sounded so wrong. Okay, can I explain it to you? Yeah, yes. So, I went on a camping trip, and this guy, we'll call him Bob. Always Bob. Always. He put it in the deck halfway through.
And then took it out. And then, like, a few months later, I had actual sex with my boyfriend. But it's like, I don't. Oh, so you were like, what? What? Okay. What constitutes as sex and losing your virginity? Yeah. Like him putting in halfway. Does it count?
As losing my virginity. I want to say... I mean, according to Mormons, no. Yeah. I feel like that didn't count. Well, to be... This is sad, and my boyfriend will probably get so mad at me for saying this, but after we had sex for the first time, I made him drive me home instantly. Because you were freaking out. Oh, yeah. And the whole way home, I just kept saying, that didn't count. That didn't count. Imagine that.
Imagine him just driving this crying little 17-year-old home, 18-year-old home, just like, that didn't count. That didn't count. It doesn't exist. He's probably like, oh my God. He's just like, best night of his life. He's just like sick. You're like, it wasn't even good. It doesn't count. He's like, what the fuck? It's actually sad. And I just want anyone on this podcast, if you are religious, just don't.
Let that... Don't feel shame from your sexuality, I guess, is like if we're just going to get straight to the point. I mean, to be honest, Indie, like when I masturbate and like sometimes after sex...
I like feel kind of like oh shit yeah you shouldn't have done that or like that was kind of naughty or that was kind of bad isn't it crazy I still feel it sticks around it does do you feel that too when I was in literally junior high like I would think about like making out with Harry Styles while I'm trying to drown out like the prophet speaking and I would feel so guilty about
thinking of Harry Styles. It needs to stop. Like, sex is healthy. Masturbating is healthy. Yeah. And it's just a part of life. It is. Well, that's what happened when I lost my virginity. My mom told my dad, which, why?
I don't know. Why he needed to know that, I don't know. I avoided him for three weeks, and we finally went and talked about it. Right. And he was just as awkward as I was. We were all uncomfortable. Yeah. But he was like, how do you feel? And I was like, I feel like shit. Like, I honestly feel like shit. And he was like, he just said...
you really don't what you did was normal and he you know he feels so uncomfortable he's trying to just like get through to me he's like what you did was so normal and I just you can't let people think he's like it's just because of where we live that it seems like a bigger deal than it is he's like but
That's what people do when they have boyfriends. Yeah. And he's like, I just don't want you to ever let anyone make you feel bad about that. Right. Or feel guilt. And honestly, I have never since that day ever felt guilt over anything sex related.
And now I, as a mom myself, I'm like, I'm curious of how I'm going to teach sex to my kids, you know? Because our parents just don't. Most parents just don't. No. They leave it to the teachers and the teachers don't tell a shit. Dude, I don't know if it was a Catholic school thing, but like they didn't teach a shit. No. They don't do sex ed. No. Like I want to teach my sons like...
yeah cool you can have sex with that girl but you're gonna ruin her life she'll never stop texting you like just know what you're getting yourself into she'll be emotionally attached to you for the rest of your life like don't ruin that for her i was like i don't know where she's going with this and i was like fuck yes for a second i thought you're gonna be like i'm gonna teach my son like how to fuck like this is what you do i'll give him all the tips you should but honestly you should yeah
I mean, I don't know if you need to tell your son, like, the tips, but kind of. Teach your kids how to not be fuckboys. Yeah, yes. You know, teach them consent. Teach them, like, there's just a lot of boys need to know, and their moms have always just been too uncomfortable to have those conversations with them. Right. Which, by the way, your kid's name is Seven. Where did you come up with that name? Is that not, like, the most Utah shit you've ever heard? No. Seven? No. No.
I feel like it's more... You talk about his weird name so he fits in. No, it's like Richelle with like a Y and like a Z somehow. I... My sister was... We were almost going to name her Seven. She's ten years younger than me. And I just remember thinking, because our last name is Sabir. So I just remember thinking, my brothers, I'm like, one of them has to name their kid Seven Sabir.
And then I got pregnant. I got pregnant first, which no one was expecting. And I wasn't married. And I was like, I'm taking that name. That's the coolest name I've ever heard. Dude, the double S. Like, Sophia Sevier. Should we get married? I kind of want to. Oh.
Can I just take the last name? Yeah. But it gives me, like, Elon Musk, like, Grimes vibe, but, like, so much better. Yeah. Like, classier. Yeah, because I really don't know how to pronounce theirs. I don't either. Seven is easy as shit. No, seven, I actually love that. And you had a baby...
Not married. Because you're not married now. Yeah, that's like where the black sheep comes in. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I got pregnant with my boyfriend. Him being like such a black sheep...
You know, he got a face tattoo. It was like the talk of the town. Oh, he has a face tattoo? That's hot. It's so hot. I love that. But Sister Johnson doesn't think it's hot. Down the road. Guys, Sister Johnson, that's like a name you give like Mormon what? I was about to say nuns. Oh, that's Catholic. But yeah, he... So when I got pregnant with him, that I think really was the point where I was like,
Okay, like... I'm a black sheep now. It was actually nice, though, because for so... Jackson and I... So we... He was my first boyfriend. We met when I was 16. We were so grossly, disgustingly in teenage love. And then... I love that. We broke up for a couple years. And I think we would have avoided so much heartbreak if I wouldn't have cared that other people...
Would judge. Would judge him for smoking weed or having a face tattoo or this and this and this. And then when we got pregnant and I realized I didn't really have a choice, I fully accepted him. And when I fully accepted him, I didn't give a fuck about what other people think of him. Right. And or me or my situation. And I think that is the only way to survive in a place like this where every single person is...
you know has a group chat about you probably right me just everyone here i feel like people don't even talk about me they like don't even claim me they're like her i'm like talking about like fucking squirting they're like she's not from utah like we don't know her
Okay, Indie, I fucking love you. I love this pink room. I'm gonna move in. Yes. And this was so much fucking fun. So, Indie, where can they find you? Instagram at IndieBlue underscore and... TikTok? I deleted my Twitter after you roasted me for that. So, um...
And Lonely Ghost. Follow Lonely Ghost. Come to the store. Dude, this store, you guys, it's so fucking sick. Her merch is amazing. It's cute stuff. You guys love it. I'm assuming I'm going to leave here with something. Did you bring your card? Of your merch. Oh!
Yeah, but it might, like, get declined. I'll, like, I'll do some shifts here. I'm like, do you want to do something? Do you want to sweep the floor before you leave? I'll give you a hoodie. Okay, Indie, thank you so much. This was amazing. Thank you, and thank your fans for having me. Yes. Your community's sick. They're the best. And they ride for you, and I love that. The sleuths. The sleuths. They are the fucking best. They're the best. Selling a little or a lot.
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Thanks so much for tuning in, Sleuths. I know I don't say it enough, but I love you guys. You really mean the world to me. We are a fucking close-knit community up in this Utah hood. I can't wait to move back to New York, but you guys know what I mean. And rate the show five stars or four. Just kidding, only five. Subscribe, and I will talk to you next week.
