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Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Weddings and Bachelorette Edition, look at us go. I know, but before we get into that, I have a topic that...
It's just, I just, it's going to make you laugh. Just been sitting on it over there, haven't you? So I was going to bring it up last week. And then after we got done recording, Julie was like, oh, I wish you would have talked about this because I have like, she can kind of predict what we're going to say. And I was like, let's talk about it this episode. Okay. What is it? Have you heard of the orange peel theory on TikTok? No.
We know that. It's too easy for you. Have you heard of any theory that's going viral? Have you heard of anything viral in general? No. Okay, got it. Do you have social media? So there's this theory that's going viral on TikTok. It's called the orange peel theory. And apparently what it means is the way you ask your partner to
To peel an orange for you is how they... Your face is like, I'm ready to rip this theory apart. So what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to go to your partner and say, hi, I... Hi. I can't even with you because I just know. So it'd be like, Alex, let's say we're dating. You're my boyfriend. I'd be like, Alex, can you get me an orange? And you'd be like, I would assume say yes. Then I'd be like, can you peel the orange for me? I don't really want to get my hands dirty and messy anymore.
And then what would you say if your boyfriend said that to you? Or, sorry, if a boy said that to you? Well... If Harrison was like, Alex, can you get me a clementine? Yeah, I would say yes. And he'd be like, can you peel it? Because it's kind of dirty and I hate when my fingers smell like oranges. So I would peel it. Okay. I would peel it. 100%. So they say that the way your boyfriend or girlfriend responds to that question is how they think about...
small tasks throughout your relationship and how they handle things, which I think is kind of fascinating because to me, it kind of makes sense, but I have a little bit more of a basic brain than you do where I'm like, oh my gosh, if I ask Pete to peel my orange for me because he knows it makes my hands smell and like are sticky, he thinks that like little tasks that I need him to do won't bother him. And he's always willing to be there for me. But if he's like, peel it yourself, like he might assume all tasks that I ask him to do are like, do it yourself. Yeah.
Mr. President is never peeling the orange for me. I don't even think he's getting it. He might get it for me. And typically, I would say no. Well, okay, the other day I said, can you get, can I, we were watching football and I said, can I have an apple? And he's like, yeah. So he brought me the whole apple. And I was like, dude, you got to cut the apple up. And he was like, you don't have, like, you can cut the apple up or you can eat the apple. And I was like, oh, I kind of feel high maintenance. So I ate into the apple.
I don't need somebody doing anything for me, though, because then I'll be like, you can do everything. So it's good for me to have to be independent. So are you peeling the orange or not? So they just say like, now I'm getting the orange tonight, though. I know. When you go home tonight, will you ask him for an orange and see if he'll peel it? Yeah. I'll be like, yo, will you peel this? You should do a TikTok. Couldn't possibly remember to do that. So they say that if they say yes, they'll peel it, they pass the orange peel theory. That just means like in a very simple term, yes.
your partner is willing to do little things for you without making a fuss over it. So are you peeling the orange? Yeah. If Pete was like, hey, can you get me an orange and peel? I would be like, yeah, sure, whatever. I just wouldn't think twice about it. Right. But that's also because in our relationship, we're so balanced where I never feel like he's taking advantage of me. So you can get really deep in this. So when I thought about it, I was like psychoanalyzing our relationship and I was like, okay, we're so balanced. I do stuff for him. We're very 50-50. I'm very stern about that.
So I never feel like I'm being taken advantage of. But if I was in a relationship where I do everything for my partner, I'd be like, I would throw the orange at his face and be like, you do it. Yeah. Because I would feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Right. And he would peel it for me too because he feels the same way. Yeah. Ying and yang kind of. Yeah. Like...
Somebody does. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, I think I would peel the—I would be, like, happy to peel— I would be pumped they asked me to peel the orange. I'd be like, I would love to. So you'd be like, I'll steal it from you. And, like, I feel like more so guys are less— Okay, you know that whole stereotype of guys sitting on the couch being like, yo—
B-I-T-C-H, like, bring me a beer. You know what I mean? Like, that stereotype. That's, like, I don't know anybody like that. Same. And I think, actually, guys, like, are less apt to be like, can you get me an orange and peel it? Because they would just get the orange themselves and peel it. So I would be flattered if somebody needed me to get the orange and peel it for them. Yeah. Because the guys we know aren't like, make me food and put it on the table. They're like, yo, I made dinner for you. Like, it's so 50-50. Yeah.
That it's like baffling to think about that because I'm like, oh, I wish they would ask. But I just was watching all these TikToks and it was just so funny to hear the boyfriend. Usually it was girlfriends asking boyfriends to hear their responses because some people are like...
no, I'm not peeling an F in orange for you. Why? And the girlfriend's like, are you serious? And they're like, do it yourself. Why are you being lazy? And it's just like, well, now I know how you feel about every task in our relationship. And they like spiral. I think it's funny in the sense of if they said no for the next like three weeks, you'd be like, they don't want to do anything for me. Yeah. Like it could mind fuck you. I know. And it's like, it's just so funny because it's just like, you could really psychoanalyze this little orange. Yeah.
Yeah, but I'm so down to peel it. And I would love it peeled for me. Yeah. I think. I hate when my hands smell like oranges. That's the thing. Guys should peel them because we have the nails. Exactly. And then when the orange gets underneath your nail, it's like,
I was going to say in last week's episode, I swear I only get sick when I have long nails because all the germs get stuck underneath them. Ew. I know. It's disgusting. Yeah. You got to wash your hands that week. You do. The week before, I think, because that's where you get it. Then you pass it. It's a whole thing. Do you have bachelorette parties or weddings coming up this year?
I have one wedding in 2024. What is it? It's one of my good friends back home. She's getting married in September, and I just got her to save the date two days ago. So fun. I know. I haven't been—I can't—like, I can't remember the last time we went to a wedding. I feel like—was it two years ago? You guys had a bunch of back-to-back weddings. Oh, my gosh, because you go on the wedding circuit. Yeah. Like, there was a time—the year I got married and the year after, I probably went to 11 to 12 a year.
And the thing is, they became— Oh, my God. They were primarily destination. Weddings are so expensive. Well, now they're all destination for us. Yeah. Because we're the ones in New York. Yeah. But yeah, and I went to some—like, I always think about Jackson Hole. I went to a wedding there when my friends got married. It was fabulous. And I'm like, I would have never gone to Jackson Hole. And I'm so—like, I love destinations like that where I'm like, yeah, I get to go there and make it—
Yeah. Weddings, for me, I've not been on the wedding circuit yet, but I feel like that will happen to me maybe when I'm like between 30 and 35. But since I haven't been to that many weddings or bachelorette parties, I forget how expensive everything is. Like when you have five weddings in a year, you're spending money on the outfits, the hotel, the transportation, the flights. Like there's so much cost that goes into them.
Well, and but what's nice about you hitting it from 30 to 35 is you have a job and you've saved money. Yeah. And you can do it.
Where I'm from, we hit it, what was I, 26, 25, 26, 27? So those bachelorette parties and those weddings, and I was in the middle of it, right? Like, I asked people to come to L.A. and stay at this hotel. Like, I was part of the problem, so I can say it. Yeah. We were young. Yeah. So that was like, whoa. Were you 25? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So a bunch of 25-year-olds traveling, I mean, remember how young we were and how we didn't have anything saved? Yeah, and I also forget, like—
I don't understand how people go to so many weddings with the lack of amount of PTO corporate companies give their employees. I know. Like, the wedding I'm going to is on a Sunday, which means I would have to take off Monday and most likely Friday for traveling because it's back in Minnesota. And I was just thinking, I don't know if I get a plus one or not. I hope I do. But I'm like, Pete, you better save up some PTO for these weddings that we have to attend. Yeah.
Yeah, and I, so the Sunday wedding, I actually feel some type of way about. I never have heard of a Sunday wedding. I've heard of like a couple. I think they're cool if Monday's a holiday. Yeah. I'm really not for them otherwise. Why? Well, I think because why waste the Saturday travel day? Yeah. I think it's disrespectful to people's time. Let's talk about your favorite thing to sleep in. Sleep.
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I'll tell you what I love, and my brother's doing it, the Friday wedding. My best friend Sydney did it. That Friday wedding, because people love taking off a Friday. And you fly out Thursday night, right? So you get there. You got the Friday wedding. So his, for example, is in Napa, Sonoma. So you have the rehearsal dinner, and then you have the wedding. And then Saturday—
And Sunday, you flew to this destination, so you get to make it a little bit of a vacation of your own, too. Oh, I love that. And you don't wake up Sunday being like, oh, I have to travel after the wedding. So people party harder at your wedding because they know tomorrow is also a day off. And I felt it for her wedding. My wedding's Saturday night. Everyone's like, tomorrow my flight is at 8 a.m. Yeah. But at a Friday night wedding, you're like, tomorrow's a day off. So you're just raging. I didn't even think about that. Fridays are the best day because you're so right. Yeah.
If it is a Saturday wedding, you don't want to just be royally hungover on a Sunday. Right. But you're fine with being hungover on Saturday because you have all Saturday and all Sunday. Which is so fun. And like it's an energy shift. I love that. Yeah. I think it's like a cool little thing. I know. I'm so torn on weddings because still to this day, I don't know if I like want a traditional wedding or not.
Because to me, weddings just sound like when I see like see the word wedding, I see stress next to it. And maybe that's just because I am a more stressed out person. But to me, it's just seems like so much work to plan a wedding.
It is a lot of work. I'll say, like, I love the wedding planning experience because you are planning something. Like, it's a really exciting time, right? And even, like, picking out the invitations. You can view it one of two ways. Like, oh, like, I'm so torn. What do I want? Or you can be like, I got a green velvet. This is really fun. I like that one. I'm going to go with it. And then you send them out and you kind of, like, have a healthy detachment and a lot of fun with the process. Yeah. But I'll tell you this.
One thing that gets me around weddings is the flower budget. Oh, my God. Because when you wake up the next day, those flowers, it can be like an exorbitant amount of money. Why are flowers so expensive? They're so expensive and you don't need one flower. I mean, think about buying a bouquet of flowers for your house. Yeah. That can be like $19. So, like, think about that and you got 50 tables. Yeah.
If you could go back in time and change one thing about your wedding, what would you not have done? So I went really light on flowers. Okay. And that was my thing because I saw these floral bills. And I said, you're telling me I'm going to wake up the next day and I'm not going to have those just be in the trash?
So what we did was individual flowers. Like I would take bouquets and we divided them up and I just rented vases for a dollar and put one flower in one vase and set them all across the table. Oh, I like that. And it looked really beautiful and like elegant and it was really inexpensive. I got to give it to myself on my wedding because I had a budget and I came in underneath it and what I optimized for was not decor. It was for guest experience. I love that. So the food was really good.
The bar was like a- Did you do plated or buffet? I did plated. I did a seated dinner. That's the one thing I love is a seated dinner with a seating chart. But I made, okay, I have a wedding hack that my planner told me. If you're going to have a seated dinner, you don't want people to sit down and there's kind of this lull before the dancing. So we danced in between every course.
So while they were serving it, everyone got up for like two songs and danced and then you'd go back and your food was there and you ate. So it kind of made it like a party because sitting was kind of formal. Yeah. Because I wanted that, but I wanted it to be fun. And it worked, like the flow of it? Oh, it was great. They kind of like walked you through it and they were playing more like oldies during that time. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So it was kind of a fun little, but I think doing things like having an open bar over having a lot of flowers, things like that because the guests can enjoy them.
If you've opened bar at your wedding, you are a saint. Oh, yeah. I think if you're going to ask people to travel and you can do it, an open bar is nice. I also think like at least a signature cocktail. Yeah. Because everyone, wine and beer is fine, but you got to kind of have the bar if you can. Can we talk about...
Your thoughts around destinations for bachelorette parties and weddings? Well, they've shifted a lot. Like, did you have... Was your bachelorette party and your wedding a destination? Yeah. But you guys paid. So I lifted... Yes. So in my budget, what I did was because I knew I was going to ask my bridesmaids to go...
to Miami for my bachelorette and L.A. for the wedding was I paid for a lot. Like, I slashed a lot of costs from the wedding and put it towards the bachelorette. Okay, that's nice. Because it wasn't fair to ask them to pay for things. Because I haven't experienced this yet, but a lot of things, or what I'm seeing a lot with, not as much now because we're getting older and we're starting to have money, but for a lot of my friends got married recently.
in our low 20s because I'm from Minnesota, I went to school in North Dakota. And this did not happen to me, but I had some friends who, their friends had destination bachelorette parties and destination weddings. And they were like, I'm a 23-year-old person. How do you expect me to pay for a bachelorette party in Mexico and then go to North Carolina for a wedding? Right. And I'm like, you only can pick one destination if you're below the age of like,
30, I feel like, unless you do what you did. Yeah. And I feel like it's hard because people are so happy to do it. Like really, I'm at a point right now where I'm at like a drought of weddings. So I'm pumped for the, I have three this year, three bachelorettes, three weddings. And like, I can't wait. And I'm like, send me the hotels. Like I'll book it immediately. Like I kind of have that attitude about it. And I think
The older we get, the happier people are to do it. Yeah. I think it's a lot to ask when you're younger, but I think you have to know your audience. You kind of have to know your bridesmaids and things and say like, okay, is this a lot? Did I do it for them? Are they going to be happy to do it for me? Because it comes from a good... I don't know. I think people are so happy to celebrate people, but it is such a heavy ask. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about it. Like, I feel like when I get...
I'll be in my 30s. I mean, there's no way. Mathematically, I'll be 29 eventually, like very soon. And if I were to have a wedding, it would be a destination because of where I live. And I would obviously do a destination bachelorette party. But I feel like I would do what you did and like try to cover as much of the expenses and also like
like figure out my audience. And I don't know. It's just, I guess it's so hard because like I haven't gotten married. Like you've been married. So you like fully understand how everything is. I would do it so different now though. Like, does that make sense? I would do, well, it's hard because now it would be my second. So that would obviously be different. But if I got married now for the first time,
I think I would—I still probably would have Destination both. Mm-hmm. Just because I would. Like, realistically, I would pick—maybe I would get married in New York. I think that'd be really lovely, which is Destination for everybody else that doesn't live here. And then Bachelorette would probably be somewhere. I don't know. I think it's so situational. Yeah, it's hard.
And like being in, and I shouldn't like say this, but like I always said like I'll probably get married in my 30s, so I have more of a right to have the destinations compared to my friends who got married when they were 23. Right. Like fresh out of college without a job. The best thing that I've seen done on a bachelorette party though is dinners are so expensive and you get into this, there's 12 of you and you're splitting the bill and maybe some didn't drink and everyone ate different amounts and like,
Bachelorette dinners can add up like crazy. Yeah. So I went to one of my friends in Austin, Texas, and we ate every dinner in while we got ready, like ordered Chick-fil-A and like drank around the house and everyone did their makeup. I love that. Cut a massive cost. And the dinner's never the most fun part. So you could like day drink, go on a boat, go on like a beer cart thing, come back, get ready for like three hours, cut a massive cost.
And then go out for the night. And like that was, you could be in three, $400 on dinners on a bachelorette party. Oh my God. My friend did she, her friend did this and she said it was like the biggest hack ever. And she wishes every single brides or a bachelor party would do it.
But they hired a personal chef to cook all the dinners in, which sounds like very expensive. But if you split that among 10 girls, she was like, we saved so much money. Because you also are drinking so much when you're eating too. And you have to feed everyone like breakfast, lunch, dinner. Yeah. And you go with these big groups. Restaurants can't handle it. The service is slow. Like meals on the bachelor and bachelorette parties are buzz kills. Yeah. So if you take them at home, especially if you have like a chef situation, it is...
So streamlined. I think like the best bachelorette party would be
Everyone at like a big shared house with a personal chef and you're in a tropical area where you can utilize a beach you could maybe walk to but you also could go into town so you're cutting the expenses but you're also having so much fun because you have like the resource of like the nightlife drinking, daytime beach and then you can eat like you said all your meals inside and then also drink a lot at the house because you have access to walking to the beach and stuff. Let's talk about BetterHelp because this show is sponsored by BetterHelp.com.
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Dirt cheap. Chip squat constantly available. They're constantly making margs. So eating is off the list, right? Like you don't have to worry about that. You're on the beach and then you optimize for nightlife. And it's like, and the best part about those types of bachelorette parties, you know, your cost up front. Yeah.
Yes. Everyone's going to have to pay $300, Venmo me, and then there's no meal cost. Because the biggest question mark when you're going is like, what are we going to be in for for meals? Yeah. If we go out one night, what's that table cost? But if you know the meals ahead of time...
and you know, like, your plan, then you... That's the biggest thing, I think. People just want to know what it's going to cost and not get, like, robbed on the Sunday when we're all leaving. I might replicate Nugget's bachelor party. I have the link to the house. Like, we did one boat day and one night out. Yeah. And we knew those costs, and that was it. I think the best thing you can do as a bride is make sure you plan a bachelor party where you just said all the costs are up front because...
And I keep saying my friends because I have not been to that many, but I've heard so many horror stories. And one of my friends, they thought that they were paying a certain amount for the bachelorette party and they left and like they were getting Venmo's left and right. And they were like, I just spent hundreds of dollars and now we have all these like loose end expenses that weren't told to us up front. This is so unfair. And like they were just completely blindsided financially. And the thing is too, like...
I don't know if a maid of honor can do it, right? Because they're the planners. But being like...
We're going to Uber to seven places total and we're going to need two Ubers. So there's 14 Ubers total. One, nobody gets two Ubers because there's always the person that's happy to get the Uber. Then they've gotten five Ubers and then they're in it for $250. And it's kind of awkward because they're trying to divide it up and send it out. And then everyone's like, I wasn't in that Uber. And it's like Ubers add up. But if you know all the places you're going and you can divide up the Ubers and say, this person's getting this one, this person's getting this one and like assign it.
Those are the little things that add up so much. Yeah. They just get hit with later. Or even as a... And I don't know everyone's financial situation, but even as a bride, maybe taking, like, those little things off the table for your bridesmaids. Totally. I have a question because I feel like it's changed a lot. But for bachelorette parties...
What are your thoughts? Do you think only the bridal party should be invited or do you think the maid of honor plus other friends? What's the etiquette there? Because I have different thoughts around that now. Well, definitely maid of honor and bridesmaids. Yes. It depends if you're in Austin and you've got a big house and come one, come all. Or here's the hotel. Anybody can come.
And you have like a fine line where you're not excluding friends. Like there's not that gray area friend wise. Like anybody. Yeah. Sister, sister-in-laws, if you want. If not, like I'm pretty like fluid on it these days. I think I don't think it's a one size fits all because I think everyone's got different relationships with different people. For yours, was it just the bridal party or? Just bridal party. My best friend's mom, my mom, Graham's mom.
And that was it. Okay. Yeah, because I think I would do bridesmaids plus additional friends because I feel like it'd be... Because I don't plan to have a massive bridal party. I would like a small wedding. But I think it would be so fun to have the few people who are in your wedding and then your close friends that you wouldn't put in the wedding but you still love and want to hang out with. Totally. One thing that's so funny too is having been married...
And then anybody else that's married, we would always have these conversations of like, once you go through the process and realize how selective you have to be and you're really not trying to hurt anybody's feelings, like the thicker your skin is on the other side. Like if somebody doesn't ask me to be a bridesmaid, I'm like, this day's about you. Oh, yeah. Like count me out of your problems.
But when I was a bride, I was like, I'm hurting their feelings. Oh my gosh, I'm worried about this. Are they going to hate me? And it's like, but then you're the bride. Yeah. And then on the other side of it, you know, people will be like, I'm so sorry, but I just want to explain this. And I'm like, don't worry about it. Remove me from your anxiety because I'm good because I've done it. And being a bride is...
really hard because you want the day to be so special and reflective of you, but you also want to make sure people are taken care of and feel included. And so, but once you're in the bride tribe, you're like, we're good. Yeah. Like on a bachelorette party, I know too now because I remember sitting there having so much anxiety over what the meal costs. Like I'll always be like, we're good with whatever it is. If you need to put it on my card, I can Venmo everybody afterwards. And you know the little things that can cause the problems. Yeah. And you can just have the thick skin and be like, nope, we're good. I know I...
I feel like for a wedding, I will never be insulted if someone doesn't have me as their bridesmaid because I have so much more fun just like attending the wedding than being in the wedding. You get to pick your dress. You get to pick your dress. You get to pick your whole day. Like being in a wedding, it is such an honor. And I'm so grateful for every wedding I've been in. But it's a lot of stress. When you don't get to explore the city. Yeah. And you also, it's a long day. Well, makeup can start at 8 a.m.,
And someone's got to go first. And, you know, I'm always that bright. I'm like, I'll go first. Same. I'm like, I'll get up. I'll have the makeup done all day because the selfies look good. But no, it's like an eight, nine hour day. Yeah. So it's like I...
I promise to everyone, I'm like, I will never be offended if you don't pick me to be in your wedding. But just let me attend and I will have so much fun. I'll be there with bells on. Yeah. Put me at a nice table. Give me a plus one. I'm good to go. I know. I'm like, I have two friends this year that are like not really doing bridesmaids. And it's like, oh, easy. So we're all just like hanging out. We're going on the bachelorette parties. And it's just like you're chilling. I actually think that all I'll do is a maid of honor and then have a
like a bridal party, but no bridesmaids. So I'll have people come to the bachelorette party. But for me too, and this is a little morbid, but like friends come and go so much in your life that when I get married, I would think that the people in my life then will probably stay. But the people, if I would have gotten married right out of college, those bridesmaids would not be my close personal friends today. So I'd be looking at all my wedding pictures being like,
I'm not even, I don't talk to these girls on a regular basis anymore. Well, and I, yeah. And I think when you, when you get married later, you're closer to having kids. Yeah. And then like, I think about my mom's best friends and they're like mom friends and you don't even know who those are. And so it's like, there's this whole shift and then you got the wedding photos and yeah, it's a whole thing. Yeah.
And I, yeah, I don't know. I've really, I, when I got married, I had all these thoughts on weddings and I've come off them so much to where I just love, I love going to weddings and seeing like, okay, did we do a seated dinner? What did we pick for the main course? Did we have a menu? Um, was there pay? You know, one thing I don't think we need to print are the little pamphlets. Yeah. When you go to the ceremony, those can be like $800, you know, total to print that. And it's like,
We don't really need that. Yeah. And so there's all these little things that I'm like, huh. And now I just love to observe. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I know I have all this like talk about what I want for wedding, but it changes every single year. OK, I got a question for you. What do you think about bailing on a wedding the week of the wedding? I think that, no, you got to suck it up.
I think if you're going to bail the week of the wedding without the most legitimate excuse on the planet, like a death, which is terrible or like a broken bone type or like an actual sickness.
You're signing up for a potential loss of friendship for the rest of your life. The week of the wedding. Yeah, because it's so expensive to have guests. And you're paying per plate. Yeah. So it's like you were X amount per head. And if the person's been married and they text you, like, I can't believe this, but I have to, I'm not going to be able to make the wedding. It's like, you're reading that text like, oh,
But you know what it costs. Yeah. And it can't be like, unfortunately, something came up. I mean, to not go to the wedding is... Like, I wish you would have just told me from the get-go. Yeah. And, okay, what about RSVPing late? Oh, I think you know the answer to that for me. That's a no for me. Like, you have to RSV on time? Yeah. I get to save the date, and I immediately book my hotel, even. And respond to the thing and send it? Yeah. I used to never send back those little forms. Yeah.
Those little mail back in. Oh, Alex. But after being on the other side of a wedding, I mark it immediately. I write a nice little note and I mail it back in and I book everything because I'm like, oh my gosh, that bride and groom, like they need to know these numbers. And I'm like,
But it takes perspective because I used to never mail that little sheet back in. Yeah. Now I'm the first. What are your thoughts on like when someone is allowed to have a plus one? Goodbye, cheap razor era. Hello, Athena Club. Jordan, how smooth is everything on your body because of this? I literally am so obsessed with Athena Club. So I used to be that person where no matter when I shaved, I always would get those bumps all over my legs and I would get really bad razor burn.
with Athena Club, I shave and my skin is smooth as a baby's bottom. Like, I am so confident and when Pete touches my legs, he, every single time, he's always like, why are your legs so soft? He's like,
He's like, did you shave two minutes ago? I'm like, no, I shaved two days ago. And it only would cost you $10. And don't think that that means they're sacrificing on quality because as you just heard, it's incredible. I know what they do. It's magic. The price is amazing. You get the magnetic hook, which is game changing in the razor kit and the quality, as you just heard,
The reason that you get a razor is for smooth skin, and we compromise on that all day long, and you don't have to with Athena Club. And no razor burn. And, like, no razor burn, which is everything you want. So if you guys are ready to upgrade your shaving experience, switch to the best razor on the market and show your skin you care with Athena Club. Head over to athenaclub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products today.
and get 20% off your purchase with Mean Girl at checkout. You can also find Athena Club razors at your local Target store. Trust us, you will not look back. Happy shaving. The way I did it was you got a plus one if I knew that you were dating somebody and I had met them. Okay.
Now, I think I would give out plus ones a lot more freely because people want to bring a date. Yeah. Especially if I know they're dating someone and I haven't met them, I'm down to give them a plus one. I just don't know about like paying per head to have somebody like go out on a limb to invite like a random person. Yeah, because...
The meeting thing is hard at this age because we all live in such different places. Like, my friend who's getting married in September, she's one of my closest friends in Minnesota, but she won't meet Pete until the wedding if he's invited because I don't know when Pete's going to go to Minnesota. See, if I'm that person, though, I'm giving you that plus one. Yeah. And...
Because I get it as a bride being like, I don't want to meet anybody my wedding day. But you're right. The older we get, like knowing you're dating and then you know his name is Pete. We've heard about Pete. Then when she sees him, she's like, Pete. Yeah. You know, like that to me, I'm in on all day long. Yeah. I know. I feel like going to a wedding is so much more fun with a date. I've never gone to a wedding with. No, I have. But it was a long time ago. Like I haven't gone to a wedding with a date in like five years. Neither have I.
Like I was thinking about that. Like I had a husband date, like I had a date every time, right? Yeah. But I've never gone to a wedding. I don't know that I've gone to a wedding in my life. Debatably high school with somebody other than Graham. Okay. I saw like a few of just like so many questions. What are your thoughts on kids going to weddings? Okay. I did know kids at the wedding. Because number one, unless they're like in your life.
and they're going to remember the wedding. If they're at the age where they're going to remember it. I'm sorry, but we don't need the little ones there running around, throwing the food. You're paying for them. You got to get them a kid's meal that's $50.
And the parents are distracted. So if they're not at the age where they can like take care of themselves, dance a little bit, go home at the appropriate time, I'm no kids. What are you? What's like a kid to you? Like age? Well, I don't know what age they can like. Like 16? Oh, they're 16. And it's not destination like I'm down for them to come. Yeah. But not like...
I think 10 and below, no. Oh, I'm no kids. If I hear a baby crying during my day... No. I'm losing my shit. But they don't know that they're there. Well, that's why they can't...
They're going to be there. Like, they're not going to remember it. No. And then you're like, I just want them there. Like, my ring bearers were my niece and nephew at the time, right? That was adorable. Yeah. And then they went to the room afterwards. Yeah. Totally appropriate. They're in the photos. I loved that. Yeah. We don't need, like, a two-year-old at the dinner where people are trying to... No. It's a vibe killer. I'm sorry. And I love kids. And also...
Let the parents have a little fun. Get the babysitter. Do the whole thing. Not one person. I think you get a lot of complaints if you're like, I got to bring the kids. No one's complaining if you say leave the kids at home. Yeah. And when I say kids, I'm with you. It's like 16, like they can drive home. But also too, like I remember going to weddings when I was under 21. It's so much more fun when you're above 21 or like above 18 because then you can drink.
You like don't understand a wedding. No, and I want to like drink at weddings. You don't know what's happening. And if you're not drinking, you're just like there with a bunch of drunk people on a dance floor. Yeah. And you hate being dressed up.
and you'd rather be partying with your friends. Yeah. I went to my cousin's wedding, I remember, and it was beautiful. I still remember what I wore, but there was a date party that night. Date or day? Like a date party. Oh, like sorority Greek life? My fraternity, and I was 20 minutes away, and I remember my brother kept looking at me, and my dad was like, 10 more minutes, and you guys can go to the date party. But we were at a lovely wedding, and I love my cousin, and I was like,
But I was 22 and I wanted to be at the date party. Yeah. I was probably like 19 and my brother was probably 20. I don't know the math here, but we were both in college and it was like we were at a wedding and where did we want to be? At the army date party thing. Yeah. You know, in the mud. A thousand percent. Yeah. And like, so imagine like a 10 year old.
They want to be texting their friends. Yeah, they want to be home watching TV or with their girlfriend or boyfriend. And it's a night out for the parents and it's great for the kids. Yeah. Yeah, so no kids. No kids. What are your other questions? Okay, what are your thoughts on your spouse's siblings being in... What's the easier way to phrase this? Your in-laws being in the wedding? Your future in-laws being in the wedding. Okay, and bachelorette party. Situational. Um...
I invited both of my future and sister-in-laws. I think it's situational. I think if it works and you're equally close with them or... Because here's the problem. Sometimes you've got your siblings and then their siblings and the number's like massive or one of them lives in London and there's all these different factors. I think an episode a while ago, I was like, yes, I think it's really nice to invite them. But I've come off of that a lot and I'm like,
only invite A, who you want to and B, like who logistically makes sense because sometimes there's such an age gap too or like your bridesmaids don't really know them. And so I think there's so many factors these days that I'm kind of like it's person to person. Yeah, I think it's so situational. Like if you have a bachelorette party that's just maybe you have like four of your closest friends. Why? I don't know about you guys. I don't want to go to my brother's
future wife's little soiree with her high school friends. You don't know any of them. I'm good to go. Like, I'll just send you guys some flowers while you're there. Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't know anyone. Yeah, but like...
It's just, it's crazy because like in a lot of situations, like I don't know if I would meet my, my brother doesn't have a girlfriend, but if he did, like he lives in San Francisco. So maybe there could be a chance where I don't meet or really know his future wife before they get married. Totally. And it's like, you're good to be there. Yeah. Day of, you will be sister of the year, but like your role there isn't, you
you know, maid of honor. Yeah. So you kind of have to, but let's say you and Colton lived in the same city and you guys were best friends and you were double dating with her like the whole time. Like, okay, Colton might be like, yeah,
Yeah, like my ex-boyfriend had four sisters, and this was so controversial when I was brought up, but I never planned on having all four sisters in the wedding. That's four people. Oh, wait, were you going to have one or two? You can't do that. That, I was just going to say, the one thing... Really? Well, okay, no. What if they're old? But it's so situational where it's like, that makes total sense. And that's just like four people? I mean, like...
I'd only be able to have like two friends. True. True. That's like an army. And then you're four and then Colton's just one on his side. And like, that doesn't make sense. Exactly. But I do think if there are a lot of siblings and you're closer with one and the rest are just like chill with it, I think you can actually do that. Yeah. Weddings are so, I think they're becoming more relaxed than they used to be. Maybe not. I don't know. No, I think they are. I think the post COVID era is,
They ramped up and it was destination crazy. But I think we're coming off. I think we're coming off a lot of things post-COVID. I think the woke air is leaving. I think people are exhausted by that. I think people are exhausted by having to be a certain type of way on the Internet. I think we're exhausted by all these weddings and all the formalities of it.
and things are airing a little bit more chill. I love being more chill. A little less wound up. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's kind of like everyone's settling back in. It was like so strict, so let's go out and about, and now it's like we're evening. You know something I never understood about weddings? What? Why you invite your parents' friends to your wedding that you've never met.
Oh, oh, that you've never met or that you barely know. Well, OK, because I think the way that they do it is most of the time. All right. This is a huge debate because it's your wedding. Right. And it's all about you and it's your day. But traditionally speaking, sometimes your father's paying for it.
So it's his party. So he wants to invite his friends. Well, and then that's not necessarily fair to the groom, you know, and then the groom's parents. So let's say you're inviting 200 people. Sometimes the way people will do it is they'll divide it like this. 50 bride, 50 groom, 50 bride parents, 50 groom parents.
that's a way that you could do it. You could look at it that way. Oh my God. And then everyone starts making the list. That's where it comes in of like, you don't know people. Yeah, that's a no for me. Really? Yeah, no, I'm not allowing my, I mean, it's my day. I don't need my parents' friends who I've never met or barely know to be there. Wait, but what if your dad's paying for it?
They can invite a few friends that I know well. But like, why would they want to be at my wedding? Well, because you know, so and so from college's little girl's getting married. It's that whole thing. I always thought that was so weird. I agree because you don't know them, but it hurts their feelings.
It's a whole thing. Oh, wow, I never even thought about this. Because I remember my mom and dad were like, yeah, we're going to a love-love's wedding. I'm like, why? You barely know their kids. Like, why are you going? Right, but the parents needed to invite them. Yeah. It's like a...
That's actually a really good point. I got lucky because like I love all my parents' friends and a lot of them were my friends' parents. But it's this whole, it's their party. It's their kids' party. It's the whole thing. My party. I know. That's actually really good. That's why I think I'm just gonna have like a very small wedding, like 50 people.
That I'm telling you, you start making that list. You that 50 is your family. You you and Pete combine like you got 10 bridesmaids. OK, well, they all got a plus one. That's 20. Oh, yeah. You got a family. I mean, you're there. It happens so fast. It's crazy. How big was yours? I want to say 270. And I wanted to have 150. Yeah. And you guys both come from like big families, like extended families. And you cut down and then.
You look at that list and you just think, oh my gosh. I'm eloping. There you go. Honestly, I think that's the key these days. It's just like. It's so stressful. Parents inviting their friends is so funny. But then, okay, but then, so if your dad does pay for your wedding, it starts out, you know, I'm giving you $5.
But then he realizes he does get to invite some of his friends. Then it's his party and he's giving you $10 because it's a reflection of him. But then you start wanting to invite your friends and then it's back down to five. And then it's the funniest little thing because they go from it's your day to
To it's kind of their day. To then it's kind of back to yours. And then you'll see like these things will come up of like open bar or not. And then to you, they'll be like, well, we're not doing an open bar because it's expensive. And then he thinks about his friend from college that he invited. Well, now it's an open bar. And you just kind of watch it go like this. That's a lot of politics with weddings. Oh, yeah. What you got to do is make it seem like it's their idea. Yes. Yep. Oh, my God. Are you a wedding gift sender? Like, do you get on the registry and order something? No, I don't.
I don't really have a leg to stand on because I've been both. I feel like for bachelorette parties or bridal showers or baby showers, which I know has nothing to do with weddings, I usually do registry. But for weddings, I have been a money person. Really? Yeah. I'm like, just get what you want. Well, now there's those honeymoon funds, too, that you can donate to. I like that. But I recently went to a stand-up skit, and it's funny because this applies to me. It didn't at the time.
But, you know, I got a lot of lovely things for our wedding and I have them at home and I'm sitting there looking at them now. I'm like, hmm, you know, so-and-so bought me this vase, which is lovely.
And the skit was what I want to do is I want to get on a payment plan. So they make it one year. They get all the cheap gifts below $100 and it charges your card when they get it. If they make it two years, you know, they get the tier two gifts charges their card when they get it. And then the more you it's like you have to make it five years and then it'll charge my card and you get that nice piece of China.
Oh, I like that. I know. And I was like, I would feel so much less guilty if I was like, I didn't even get that, you know, Baccarat glass because I didn't make it there. I know. I feel like for a very close personal friend, if you were to get married, I would probably buy you a very nice gift that you can hold. I wouldn't get you cash. That'd be weird. Right. But...
For like acquaintances, it's like cash. But for like a very close personal friend, I would go and get like their most like prized possession, I think, off their registry. Yes. Yes. Totally. That's when you like. And I remember it's so funny. Five years later, I can look at my parents' friends and I can almost tell you exactly what every single person got me and what the price was. Oh, my gosh. Still to this day, I can look at people and say they bought me one plate and one plate cost this.
because it means so much to you. Yeah. What I can't do, though, I can't tell you who didn't get me something, really. Yeah. I kind of let go of that. But I'm thinking of one person right now that got me this vase, and I opened it, and I was like, I wanted this so bad. It was a parent-friend. I'm like, I don't know you that well.
Every time I look at it, I think of them. It means the world. Yeah. I always forget about registries. I forget that's a thing. I'm the worst. When I have a kid, I'm getting nothing because I am so bad. I'm not even going to register because I'm just like, I never go on the baby register and click buy. You'll have to have your husband do all of that. Yes. I'm just like, ugh. But wedding gifts for a best friend, I do think...
Two of my best friends got me a pink stony clover bag with Beverly Hills patches on it. Cute. And I still have it, right? And it's like, that was not on my registry, meant the world to me, and I still use it today, and I took it on the honeymoon. And I'm like, if I had the wherewithal, I would get that for everybody. Yeah. It was like, it meant, it required, it taught an ode to the destination and something different. It's like personal, but also something you really wanted. Totally. Yeah, like I would do like, um...
The like beautiful wine glasses with engrave like engraving in it or like something that's like a nice gift, but like personalized as well. Yeah. You go the extra mile. People remember that. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Um, should we wrap with the listener question? Okay. Listener question. My, my boyfriend's sister-in-law essentially told me I'm forcing the relationship and he's clearly unhappy. Um,
Anyways,
She said that he is clearly not happy and would have proposed already if he was happy. She also said that I've changed him so much that she doesn't recognize him. He and I talked about this message and came up with a mature response addressing that we are in this together and we are committed to each other, even though our engagement timeline might be different. She did not respond well and pretty much said that we are still not being honest with each other. What the hell do I do? I'm obviously going to stay with him because I love him, but how do I move forward with her? My boyfriend's sister-in-law.
Oh, boyfriend's sister? That's what's confusing me. I'm friends with the sister-in-law, or at least I thought. My boyfriend's... So it'd be like her boyfriend's brother's wife? Yeah. All right. I'd be like, kick rocks. So, like, someone's lying, and it kind of feels like, okay, this might not be the most popular take, but if I'm her, I would say to him, I would say, all right, she's causing me anxiety, and she's your sister-in-law. She's saying you're lying to me.
you and I are having a different conversation than what she's having. So you're either offlining with your brother that you're not happy and you don't want to propose, or she's insane and you're telling me the truth. So I would get both of them in a room and I would just nip in the bud. I'd be like, who's lying? Like I would ask him, I'd say, what are you saying? And I'd make him say it in front of her.
To me, like, I love you and I mean everything I'm saying to you. Because if you got nothing to hide, don't hide it. And she can kick rocks. No, you said it perfectly. Like the sister-in-law's coming up with these either in her crazy head or because she's hearing it from the brother of the boyfriend or whatever. So it's like figure out where she's hearing these things from and why she thinks that.
Yeah, and I would nip it in the bud one time and then I would tell her to, I'd say, back off the relationship. Yeah. But you got to stick with your person if they're your person and show your loyalty. Yeah, and if he is saying that, break up and move on. That's the thing because like you need to know that. Yeah, especially if you want to get engaged. Right, because you're in your, here's the thing, honey. Hate to break it to you, but you're in girlfriend land. And there's a big difference between girlfriend land, fiance land, and wife land.
And in order to go from girlfriend land to fiance land, people don't take you that seriously. So the sister-in-law who's in wife land thinks she can talk down to you like this right now. That's why I think it lies in the boys court because it's his family. So he has to go and run interference with his family for her if he loves her. Family dynamics, they're weird. No, you said that perfectly.
Okay, well, we don't have to wrap up anymore, which is great. Yeah, this is awesome. Love you guys. Okay, that's it for today's episode. As always, thank you for listening to Mean Girl Pod powered by Just Media House. I'm Alex Bennett. And I'm Jordan Woodruff. So, A.B., do what you do best. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, rate, and review. We are at Mean Girl Pod on all platforms. Stay connected with us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter.
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