Should You Stop Dating Your Type? Ft. The Hot And Crazy Scale 01:20:22

We just like went in the lifeguard stand and you know made out woke up the next day bruises all over my leg from you fell I think I did yeah off of the lifeguard stand I think like just like hitting you know how like they're really like they're so wood they're yeah good Welcome back to the episode of Mean Girl Pod the boys are back in town and Spirit fingers are back in town which is why you should watch on YouTube

Yes. We said that at the beginning. We didn't wait until the very end to tell people to watch on YouTube. Guess what? No, let me actually try to guess. You found an apartment. I signed a lease this morning. Yes. Tell us about it. Okay, here's my address. Okay, yes. Give it to us and the unit number. You have given out your address. Yesterday you did. If people can find me, then they can kill me.

That's my new motto. People are always like, don't do the hotel room. And I'm like, if they can figure out the floor and the room number, then good for them. Also, we stay in hotels where you literally need a key to get up. They wouldn't even let you up to see my room that one time. It's impossible for me to move floors. So at that point, you can have me. So if you don't live in New York, if you do live in New York, you'll realize apartment hunting is...

Hell on earth. It is the worst experience of your entire life, especially in the summer months because it's so busy and it's so hot. So for the past month, I have been literally killing myself to find an apartment. Every place we find, it's like apply and they're like, someone else got it. Or they're like apply and they're like, if you pay $200 more, you can have it. I'm like, I can't afford that. So finally, last night at 12.04 a.m. or p.m. a.m. in the morning. This morning. Yes. 12.04 a.m.

I got the lease sent to me. We were approved.

And you got it. Yes. And I signed it this morning. Oh my God. I'm so happy for you. I paid an arm and a leg. So that was great. Um, cause it's also very expensive cause you have fees and you have to pay first month's rent and deposits. Um, but yeah, I'm really excited. We're moving to the upper West side. Okay. Which you're going to love the neighborhood by the way. I can't wait. I'm excited. You're actually going to come to my apartment this time. I'm so excited. Are you going to get, what are you, are you going to do anything different? Yeah. Cause now I have a room where my bed only touches one wall. Oh wow.

My room now, my bed literally touches three walls. I know. We used to draw it. We used to scale it out and scale art on the walls. And we could do it again. When you decorate a frame, I remember sending you my room. And you're like, what is this shape? Because it's like a slant. Yeah. You drew it and sent it to me. And I was like, you fucked up this wall. And you're like, no, that's what it looks like. And I was like, oh. Wait. Do you still like decorating? Yeah. Oh, so you could help me decorate my room. I would love to. In my apartment. I also have some spare furniture I could give you.

shut up i really do howdy y'all the mean girls aka us say hi oh hello we're headed down south for our first ever southern summer tour presented by pink whitney which we'll talk about later in the episode because we're so excited tonight's our first one we're kicking it off we'll be stopping in dallas austin charleston tampa and nashville and we'll be right

Be bringing Pink Whitney along for the ride. So make sure to tell your friends and spread the word as we're ready to take some shots and head down south. We're going to be posting the graphic with the dates later. Tell all of your friends, bring your friends. It's going to be so much fun. Pink Whitney is a shot brand dedicated to take your shot. So that's what we're doing. We're going to have our little shot trays. We're going to turn pink.

We're going to paint the town pink. Barstool Sports' only endorsed alcohol brand, Pink Whitney, is the number one flavored vodka. So head to your local bar today. Shoot your shot with all your best friends. And whenever we post these graphics, DM them to all your friends and be like, we're going. And we better see you all there. And Jordan will take a shot with you.

I always swear. I'm always like, I, I could just bury me with the flavor of pink Whitney. I took 13 shots in Oklahoma. So, you know, so let's see if we can do 14 tonight.

You. You do 14. I'm going to turn pink. I had to turn pink. But it's so fun. They're so much fun and they taste so good. And I love being like, you have to shoot your shot until you get this shot. Or like, tell me how you shot your shot. Shoot your shot. Yeah, and then they do and I'm like, this is fun. And you're like, here you go. Here you go. Well, you're a really good decorator because even the few art pieces you sent me

I like I love well the biggest thing about decorating is it sometimes it it's not even as much as what it is it's the scale and people always mess that up like they don't understand like sizing and I would never know it had I not worked for an interior designer but I understand so I'm like we have to just scale things yeah so for the past like three weeks I have been on my deathbed and I can like feel my energy coming back now that I signed I'm like wait I'm becoming a human again because I'm not going to be homeless

I was going to text you after Monday because I saw you for happy hour and we were like with some friends and one of them was like, is she okay? Like she, I was like, no, she's not. She needs to find this apartment. And by Friday, if she hasn't found one, I'm going to text her and say, I will not leave you homeless. You can live with me.

We will put your front. Like, you will be fine. But I was like, I'll give it till Friday. I literally was like laying in bed last night. I'm like, oh my God, if I don't have an apartment, I'll be homeless. And I was like, wait, what if my roommate last minute doesn't want to live with me anymore? And then what if I'm left in the streets? It's just this abandonment thing that's not realistic. And I just knew I was watching it. And I was in therapy. My therapist for time, like attachment styles. And she's like,

I think you might have some abandonment issues. I'm like, you think? Yes. I do. You do. But you know it. I'm very aware, yeah. And it's very helpful to tell people that. Yes. And so then they just know and they're like, oh, okay, that's where it's coming from. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a big deal. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. I'm very happy for you. Thank you. I'm super excited and I can't wait to decorate it and then show you it. And it's even like, since I have a room, I'm like, I can have people over.

I feel like you're going to feel so much lighter. I think you would love the Upper West Side. I do. I had a friend that moved here originally and lived on the Upper West Side, and I loved it. And my very favorite Mexican restaurant's up there. And my favorite biscuit place. Really? Yeah. What streets? Oh, gosh. I don't know. I could pick it out on a map. Okay. We'll have to go through it because I'm pumped. Also, you need to say that channel's name.

Oh, okay. So we did a question of the week earlier where I asked Jordan if she would rather watch for the rest of her life Disney or Nickelodeon, which apparently I just said something. I have grown up saying Nickelodeon my whole life, and everybody I've ever spoken to has also said Nickelodeon. If I'm ever in a bad mood, just say that to me. Nickelodeon. Alex Bennett, it is a fact that it's Nickelodeon.

We are saying the same thing. No, you say it again. Nickelodeon. You're not saying the D at the end. Nickelodeon. Oh. What? Oh, no, I'm saying Nick. Nick. Oh. Uh. Nick, Nick-a-lone-eon. It's Nick-a-lo-deon. Deon. Yeah. I didn't know there was a D in it.

I don't wait. Hold on. I don't even think there's a D typed on this question. I'm literally crying. Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon. They messed that up. Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon. My whole life. Nickelodeon. The song? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon. It works. Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon. That's bad marketing. It feels really good to be on the other side of history right now.

Because usually I'm like, you're like, you say this wrong. And I'm like, no, I don't. Well, this is actually bad because opinion could be like you say opinion, opinion. We're still spelled. That's spelled correctly. We're not missing letters. Rough roof. That's fine. Upper debate. Nickelodeon is really just missing a very large letter. Oh, my God. I'm crying. The D.

Um, anywho. The more you know. Where did we leave off last time? Well, we did talk, well, one thing I would like to do a callback to, previous episode. Yeah, what's going on in your life? What's happening? Um, well, I went to Chicago. Did we talk about that on the podcast? Yeah, I think so. Or we, like, referenced that I was doing it. Can I tell you that, can I tell you something? My 30th birthday was my favorite birthday I've had yet. And then, I, like, for. Thanks, wasn't even there. You were there for the party. But you left. I don't care.

I'm kidding. Wait, no. Yeah. I was like, hold on. When you were there from, that was my favorite birthday party I've ever had. That was the coolest birthday party I've been to. Like I loved like the disco cowgirl theme and the, I, yeah, I felt like that place, like it's my new favorite spot, but all this to say, so then I was listening to somebody talking about like how they love their thirties and there's like this stigma on the thirties. And so then in my head that they were, they were like, I don't know. They were talking about it. And I was like,

Why do so many people say like 30 is just a number or 30 is a mentality? And I'm like, no, 30 is just an age. And it's like the fucking best age ever. Like, why does it have like they kind of put this double negative on it almost like I'm so proud to be 30 as though the opposite of that would be that you weren't.

Do you know what I mean? So it like, it makes it seem like you're coming back from a negative, but it's like, in fact, it's just only a positive. Yeah. Just, you see what I'm saying? Didn't we, who did we talk to where they were like, maybe it was with Alana where she was saying like, you don't have to stop having fun. You just have to find new things to have fun in that age or like do in that age. Like for example, going out, like stop going to the 21 year old bars, go to the 30 old bars. You can still have fun. Just go to a new bar. They're a little bit like,

I still love dive bars, so I don't even want to go there. I was going to say, you know what? The 30s to me feel peaceful, but I forgot it. When I turned 29, like I remember turning, I was like, I'm 29. I like forgot I turned 30. And then the other day I was walking around and I was like, this is great.

I'm pumped to be 30. You're going to love it. I feel like the 30s are the 30s. Your 30s are the best years of your life. And then people start saying it about the 40s. So we always got a lot to look forward to. Honestly, the Kardashians thrived in their 40s. So I'm pumped for it. Well, who said the other day? Somebody said, like, I'm aging like Kim K. And I was like, what does that mean? And she was like, better.

like she looks better now than she ever did and what is she 42 43 i think so yeah yeah i'm like oh well that's good i love that okay so what did you do for your birthday you went to chicago went to chicago and i met okay remember how we had the episode about the guy and i never thought i would meet him the guy who did the travel loop what can we say it's my boyfriend oh isn't it my boyfriend's boyfriend it's your boyfriend's it is jordan's gay boyfriend and

Who still, who we still do the group text with. He didn't text you back last night. I know. That was very rude of him. I texted him. I was like, you look good making that content. He didn't text you back. We should, we should, we should retext him and be like, excuse me. I'll, I'll do like the little like. Oh, bump it. Yeah. Yeah. Give him like the exclamation points. So he brought his best friends to Chicago and like I ran into them and I met the guy and I was like, you're travel lube guy. His boyfriend? Yeah.

No. Oh. Remember, it was his friend. So remember, Jared, your gay best friend, or your gay boyfriend, your boyfriend, your boyfriend. My boyfriend. He had his best friend over, spend the night with him, like not with him, but in the guest bedroom, and he brought the travel lube. Yes. And we were like, why would you travel with lube? But you were for it. And I was like, I think it's weird to pour it in like a mini bottle and bring it, but you had a lot of good points. Yeah. I've come around on that, and I'm actually with you. That's the Nashville episode if people want to go back and listen. Do a little recall. Yeah. So then I meet him.

and we're talking and then he's like I'm the travel lube guy and I was like oh my god so I perhaps coexisted with the person that he took home and and I was like did he have travel lube with him and she was like no and let me tell you he does she was like he's the best person I've ever slept with like she said he oh he's straight yes does that change your thoughts on the travel lube

Kind of. It shouldn't, but I don't know. You thought he was gay? I thought he was gay, yeah. I don't know. He's straight. Highly. Oh, interesting. Yeah, but now I just, this is such a bad mindset, but now I'm like, he's just trying to sleep around now.

But see, I feel like he wasn't trying to sleep around. I feel like he knew he wasn't going to sleep around. Then why did he bring the lube? I think because he knew. Because he was going to sleep around. I think he knew he wasn't. Then why did he bring the lube? He didn't bring it to Chicago and he did sleep around. So I think he brought it because he wanted to jack off. Oh, for his own needs. Yeah. Interesting. Uh-huh. I mean, hey, God, do what you got to do.

I agree. Yeah. No, I'm for it in all aspects. And thank you because you kind of changed my mentality on that. But anyways, all that to say, I met him and he apparently is a great bang. And so good for him. Interesting. I love that. I love meeting characters in real life. It was, yeah. I, you know, I was like, oh. Did you listen to that episode? Is that how he knew he was a travel loop guy? No, your boyfriend told him. Okay. Yeah. It was the title of the episode. That is very true. He was like, okay, what about you? Besides the apartment, what's been going on? Um.

you know my life has been a little bit of a blur with the whole apartment it has been it my mom asked me yesterday she's like jordan okay i was like just needs an apartment we'll be okay is it really that noticeable well no you just like you're so that that was a big thing for you and like you had convinced yourself that you could be homeless and not have a roommate which would be more of a financial birth like that to you that to you can like well wasn't that noticeable on monday yes really

But I knew. That's true. I knew exactly what it was. It's like when somebody's, like, slightly distracted by something. Yeah, I also feel like I show all my emotions on my face. Yeah. I'm just, like, in a daze. Yeah, other than that, you know, still dating. I went to the Jersey Shore for the 4th. That was fun. Had a little beach make-out. Oh, did you, like... I don't know why, but it's so funny. Beach make-outs are...

Wait, I have a mental image of this. Okay, wait, hold on. Let's break down the beach make out. First of all, do you have his phone number in your phone? No. Okay, do you know his name? Yeah. I do have his phone number. In your phone? Yeah. Okay, have you talked to him since? No, I don't want to. But you haven't? I mean, I am choosing not to. But he texted you? Yes. Okay, did he come up to you at the bar and was like, hi? So what happened is we went to one of the bars in the shore.

And I ran into somebody I knew, I know, and he was with all his guy friends. So we were all hanging out with them the whole night. And we all kind of like, you know how you just like when you're with your girls, like you're single, they're single, and then you meet guys who are single, you all like pick a person. Yeah, you kind of just, yeah. Yeah, so I like picked a person. He was mine. How did you feel about your pick? In the moment, I felt great. If you compared them to all the other picks, would he have been your first pick? Line them up. That's your one.

Or did somebody get the one you really wanted? Well, one of the guys had my ex's last name. So I was like, triggering. Can't. Oh, I was like, the last name? Sorry. Had his first name. So I was like, nope. Can't. Is that a thing for you? If they have your ex's last name, it's a no? First name? First name. No, but it would be kind of hard to date someone who had, even like my brother's name or my dad's name. I don't want to. Like, I would want to be like, hey, Scott. Hey, Colton. Like, that'd be weird in the bedroom. I could never date a Michael. Or... A Joe. Yeah. Yeah.

No. Or an Alex or Jordan. Oh, Alex would be so weird. Yeah, I could never. You could Jordan and Jordan. Like that to me, they could be the love of your life. And since you and I have those like unisex names. Yeah. Could never. Can't. You can't. I could never say something like sexy to them. No. Or I would like send the wrong text. I mean, if you got any of my texts, that would be the end of the world. But I feel like I would be you guys crossed all the time. Yes. Bad.

Bad, bad, bad. Bad for business. But, no, so I thought he is cute. I'll tell you why I'm not talking to him. Oh.

But it's not a bad thing. It's funny. But so we met at the bar and we all hung out and then they were staying at a house like walking distance. And I knew one of the guys like very well. Like so these weren't like strangers. Walking distance from you or walking distance from the bar? From the bar. Okay. So everyone's like let's go back to the house and hang out. And I was like yeah sure why not. But me and

The guy, we're like, let's go to the beach. Don't really remember how we got to the beach. All of a sudden. Not important. And we just like went in the lifeguard stand and, you know, made out. Woke up the next day, bruises all over my leg from. Did you fell? I think I did. Yeah. Off of the lifeguard stand. I think like just like hitting. You know how like they're really like. They're so wood. They're thick wood. Yeah.

Unforgiving wood. Like, I have to actually, I will show you a picture of my leg. Oh. It was so bad. I was like, oh my God. Hold on. So you walked to the beach and then chose to get on top of the lifeguard stand and make out there? Yeah, so. Are we sure it was just a make out? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was no, like, you didn't, like, roll over?

Oh, no, we rolled around. Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no. You, your foot slipped. Yeah. And grazed it. Nick will send you this to put up on the screen. Yeah, it was bad. Like, my foot hurt the next few days. Yeah. Ouch, yeah, your ankle. That's the classic, like, your foot slipped and grinded down. So, but it was so funny because...

At first I was like, I'm not going to tell this story, but who cares? Don't let me forget that picture to send to Nick. I sent it to him. Oh, wow. Thank you. You're welcome. But so you know how lifeguards stand at the beach? They're laying flat. At the end of the day, they all lay the stands flat. No. Yes, just in case weather or anything. And then every morning, lifeguards push them back up. Oh, so you didn't have to climb it. Oh, no. So what happened was he was trying. No, you didn't stand it back up. Why? For what? What was the point of that?

of that? I don't know, Alex, we were drunk. But why do you need to get on the lifeguard stand? I don't know, because we were like, this would be fun. No, if I, no, please tell me there's video footage. I'll do it mentally. Okay, keep going. He tried to push the stand up.

So I was like, all right, bro. And I just... Move over. I literally was just like, all right. You one-armed it? No, I was just like, all right. And I was like, right there. That's a problem. But I was like, whatever. It's fine. That's not tonight's problem. That's tomorrow's problem. Exactly. Is that the deal breaker? That's why you haven't talked to him? No. The deal breaker is his age.

He's young. 22? 25. Oh. Yeah. Also, just like, you know, when you're at the shore, you're not like looking for anything. No, it's just like fun. My mindset's like, no. Right. Yeah. But, but, like such a fun night. Yeah. And is he very like not that strong or skinny? I don't know. Tall? Not really. No stats? No stats. Good kisser? Yeah. But what happened was, so I had my hair in like a slicked back bun. Okay. Yeah.

And like, you know how like when I, when I have my hair slicked back, like if you were to mess it, it would like come out. So I like, no, no. Okay. So we're, we've got this like back button where like he can't lift up the lifeguard stands and then you push it up. I'm assuming going to lifeguards and it come out and your hair is just like this. And oh my God. So I walked back to the house. Tell me somebody saw it. All my friends are inside. All of the guys are inside. You looked electrocuted. The whole night. I'm proceeding to just like play tricky games, hang out with everyone.

I go back to the hotel.

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And my friends were like, we told you multiple times. You just didn't care. And it was like pulled out. It looked like I was electrocuted. I can't. Like, I imagine you coming up from the chair with like the, like the cat that just got fried. I have like sand in my teeth. Like, it's like someone took my, I was literally eating sand for like three days after that. Gross. It was so bad. And I was like, only in the Jersey Shore. Well, the lifeguard stand there though is...

that's exceptional yeah i won't be going back to the shore i think that was my last summer ptsd just you know i think i'm a little too old for that okay we were like that was fun but no more yeah i was like i gotta go home like now and then i went home the next day oh did you leave early no that was the last night oh okay it was that was the proposed time to depart uh-huh i was like i gotta go home okay i i and and you haven't talked to him since he lived in the city

No. He lives in a nice... He does not live in the city. With his parents? I'm not going to say where he lives. No, he, like, texts me, but... I mean, one, I'm not going to pursue a 25-year-old. And two, like, my mindset... Like, you know when you have, like... It's kind of like the box theory. Like, when I was at the Jersey Shore, I had the mindset of anyone I meet, I don't want to pursue a relationship with. So, like, anyone I met, it probably could have been my dream man. I had the mindset of not wanting to...

pursue anything so like that was my mind you know what I mean right okay let me ask you this because I have a my little intern sometimes shows me some messages that she gets on hinge and this one so so she got a message from a guy that was like something about I just want to stay friends like he messaged her on the hinge app right and and said I want to stay I want to be friends oh you have them under something hinge that's so modern too okay I thought it was the hinge app that's how much I don't know

So he texted her and he's like, I just want to be friends. And she sends it to me and she's like, why are you texting me that, one, I don't want to be friends. Yeah, what? But number two, like, what is the point? And I was like, what like an un... I was like, don't even really respond. Like, what an unnecessary thing to be like, you know what, that was fun, but I just want to be friends. He doesn't even need to... I think after the first date, that is the only time where you...

I guess, quote unquote, can ghost somebody. Like, you don't have to message them after the first date. Aren't you not even ghosting if you just... If neither of you text each other? Like, you haven't texted him. He didn't text... Like... To me, it's not. If you go on three dates a week...

they're not all going to be like, oh my God, we're perfect matches. Yeah. So I was like, wow, the text of the friend, maybe now that I'm saying it, I thought he thought he was being like polite. But I was like, I really find that very unnecessary. Unless you've been on like four dates and you feel like you owe some kind of, oh, I think after three or four is perfect. It could be like, you know what, this was really fun, but we're not like a

I don't even know if you need to say friends. No, after the first one, you can mutually go see each other. I agree. That to me is kind of like he wanted her to see like what her response would be. Yeah. To be like, I need my ego stroked. Right. And we were like, we're not going to be doing any ego stroking today because we'll just be like, okay, no big deal. What is your thought on if you're on a date? Because you go on so many dates. What's your thought? We channeled five years ago. Okay. Or I mean, more than that. If you go on a date and somebody talks about dates.

Okay, and are they talking about specific – like one time I went on a date with a girl who or – No, it's more so like I went to this – like if you're talking about your favorite restaurant, for example, and they're like, oh, I actually went to this one place on a date a few months ago. It's a really great place. Okay, that to me is the least offensive. Yeah. If they're like – I also find it not offensive if somebody says like,

The dates I love are happy hour and then maybe we go to dinner. Like if they're talking about a type of date, if they reference a restaurant, I'm good with that. Yeah. But if they get too specific, like, oh, this one time I went on a date with this girl who, why are we thinking about it? I know. Cause I went on a date a while ago and he like brought up that he's gone on a date and I'm like, when you're with me, I'm the only girl you're dating. Okay. Yeah. The only person in front of you is me. I'm like, no, no, no one exists with me. Agreed. But like I thought about it and I was like, I don't think I found it that offensive. Cause I think it was just like,

Some people don't think it was just part of the conversation. Well, I was going to say, too, I think you can read the kind of guy. So you and I were talking about egos with guys the other day. Yeah. And I think it's very easy to see where they're coming from. Like, if he's coming from a place of like, so I've been on a lot of dates. Or if he's like, okay, so literally I did go to that restaurant and he's trying to tell you about the restaurant, but date kind of comes out. Yeah. I'm cool with that. Yeah. You know what's so crazy? I feel like something is shifting because...

One, I haven't been going on a million dates lately, but I've been dating probably more than I have in the past. But the questions that guys are asking me are so much more...

I don't know what the right word would be. Not intense, like intimate, like multiple guys on the first or second date have been like, do you want kids? Like, what are you looking for? And I don't remember getting asked these questions six months ago. You weren't getting asked any questions six months ago. You were going on dates and you were asking questions. That is so true. And then you would come back and be like, I, they didn't ask me anything.

So either we're starting to get a lot of pod listeners taking you on dates that are like, let me ask her some questions or something is shifting and you're, but you're really looking at the type of person I feel like that you're, but that you can't always tell that off a profile. No, you know what I think it is? I think it's just like the theory of,

cast more yeah get more it's just been weird like when people are like do you want kids or what are you looking for and I'm like well I like I appreciate those questions I think you because like at this age like I'm indifferent about kids some days I want kids some days I don't but let's say I like really really wanted kids I don't want to go on a first date with someone and fall for them if they're like never having kids I would agree with that

So I don't mind those questions. No, I think those questions are only good because there are some things. Like we always talk about how you find your non-negotiables when you're talking to a guy. Or, no, before you meet a guy, I think you make your list of non-negotiables and

kids for you would be in the middle. That would be the, I might want kids. I might not, but living in New York or something like that could be like a, I must. Yeah. Um, and then maybe for you, like if they love wine or something like that, that's a plus, but you find you're not negotiables. And then if they ask you some of those on the first date, like that could be a really good weeding out. Yeah. And not, and you're not wasting people's time. Like if I met someone and they're like, I want to move back to Missouri and grow like farm. I'd be like, no,

Yeah. You'd be like, that's not for me. Yeah. Now then there could be the one-off chance of like, but man, I loved everything else about him. So we'll, and then like, there could be that shift. Yeah. But I think it's cool when guys ask like in-depth questions like that. What's a question that you ask a guy on a first date that is sort of in line with like, do you want kids?

Um, do you have one? I always ask people like what their dream, this isn't like that intense, but it's like the, I like shuffle between three. It's like, what are you most proud of in life? What's your biggest mistake in life? And then what, um, like what would be your dream career if money wasn't in like an obstacle at all? Cause I feel like that question actually shows a lot about a person because sometimes I don't know, like I've gotten answers where I'm like,

I don't know. It shows, like, how open-minded someone is or, like, how much they believe in themselves. Because sometimes people are just, like, a job where I make a lot of money. And sometimes people are, like, I want to own a sports team. So I, like, shuffle between those three. I think the...

I've been talking to people a lot about what would your job be if money didn't matter? Because I think it gives you so much insight of their passion too. Like if someone's like, I would love to be a teacher. You'd be like, okay, do you love kids? Do you love impacting their lives or something like that? And I feel like that's such an important thing. But correct me if I'm wrong, for both of us, if money wasn't a thing, aren't we doing what we would want to be doing no matter what?

Are we? Or would yours be something different? Obviously, yeah. Yeah, well, you know, you might want to be a wine and coffee store owner. Mine would be, like, if I would do this still, but I would own my own wine brain. Yeah, that would be your, you could still do that, but that would be your if money didn't matter moment. But my therapist, like, a few weeks ago was like, you should start asking guys what they're most proud of and what their biggest mistakes are because, like, the proud of question will really show you who a person is because sometimes people are like,

I'm so proud of my investment. All right, cool, bro. You're not my guy. But sometimes people are like, I'm so proud of...

x y and z with my family you're like okay they're really family oriented like they care about their family they they aren't shallow like it just shows so much about a person but it's such a simple question what if they're proud of their investment because they saved up and worked their ass off for it that's a different story are you are you in on that though like or is that something that you're still like that's not really for me or if they were like I always wanted to invest in this company I didn't have anybody to help me do it and I waited tables and saved up and then I invested in it

That's different. Okay, but are you... I'm wondering, are you more wanting the family value thing or are you okay if it's more ambition-driven? It depends how they word it. If someone's like, my investments this month versus my investments so I can make money to follow my dreams. Such different situations. You're in on that. That's like a green flag. I know. I feel like people get so scared to ask intense questions on dates because they don't want to come across as love-bombing, but I feel like there's such a difference between getting to know and weeding out the week and then love-bombing because love-bombing is...

It can come across like if someone's like, do you want kids? It's like, whoa, that's so fast. It's like, no, it's not. Love on me is like, so we're going to go on a trip in like a few weeks. I can't wait to meet like you to meet my mom. Like she's coming next month. Like I see a future with you like all within like three weeks. One thing that I've been working on with my friends is like,

I was actually talking to Graham about this too, is asking more in-depth questions. Like we feel sometimes like you're walking around just asking everyone surface questions. And then it's like, okay, so you've got 10 friends. Okay, well, four of them probably want, this is the biggest example that Graham will always use, is he'll be at a table and he'll say, I don't drink. And then nobody at the table will ask him why.

Like they all are too afraid to ask the very obvious follow-up question to that. But it's like something like, do you want kids or something like that, that gives you an insight into that person. And so I took that and I was like, I don't ask anybody questions.

Any of my friends. I'm not afraid to ask a new person in-depth questions. You ask me in-depth questions, but I guess our relationship's different. But it's not... But I could even ask you more in-depth ones, I feel like. Yeah. Or, like, different ones. And I've been trying to do that with my friends at home, too, just like a text message. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And if there's one thing Jordan and I are big proponents of, it is what, Jada? Therapy. Go every day. Not every day, but I should. I go every single day because...

In life, you never know what it's going to throw at you. And it's better to play offense instead of defense. And that is here's the thing we always talk about. When it's good, it's good. But when it's bad, you have to prepare for the bad days and the good days. And that's why therapy and consistent therapy is the right path.

And sometimes we go through things that are so difficult and we're like, we don't know how to navigate this ourselves. So who do we turn to? Therapists. Also like therapy. So attractive. Like I saw a therapy was on a guy's dating app the other day and I made me want to swipe because I was like, you got therapy. That's really nice. You're familiar with things like, you know how to handle your trauma. You take responsibility for your actions. Green flags. So whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationship or anything else, therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life.

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Let therapy be your map with better help. Visit better help.com slash mean girl today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P.com slash mean girl. Happy therapy. I love that. Cause I feel like I ask a lot, a lot of questions and people are like, you're nosy. I'm like, no, I'm just interested in people.

Like a lot of people are like, I just want to be nosy because someone came at us after you said the Graham drinking thing. She was like, you should never ask why someone's sober. I'm like, okay, if they're uncomfortable with it, they can say that. But maybe some people do want people to ask what their story is. Like at the end of the day, like ask whatever you want and they'll tell you if they're uncomfortable and they won't respond. Well, I think too, I would rather, okay. It made me mad. I was like.

So our friend Hannah Eve that we went to the panel with yesterday, and I do want to get to like the best things we took away from that. I think that was like, I left yesterday so fulfilled and like, this is why I love New York. But before that, she posted a video a long time ago talking about how,

Something about how you should strive to make $100,000 or something. And everyone was like, there's people starving in Africa and like came at her with all of these things. And I loved her video back because she was like, you can win any argument with that. Or you can always default to you're too nosy.

And, and I was thinking about that and I'm like, you can win any art. You can always go there to the bottom, but it's like, how do we raise the roof? Right. So it's like, why raise the floor? Or you can raise the roof. And I'm always like, think I would rather go to bed knowing I asked more questions than I didn't ask enough. And like, if somebody asks me that question, I reserve the right to beg. I don't want to answer that. Oh my God. Yeah. But I would rather you ask it. Cause like literally at the end of the day, like I've been asked questions where I'm like, I don't really feel like answering.

Like no one, you don't have a gun to someone to be like, tell me if you want kids, why don't you drink? It's like, it's just a question. Right. And like, how do you build relationships and make more in-depth relationships if you don't ask the questions? Everyone wants to talk about themselves. They do. They really do. And I think that people feel you form a connection that way. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And it goes to show too. It's like small minds talk about people. Okay. Well, none of these questions that we're asking have to do with like gossip. Like there's so much, they're like higher level thinking. And it's like, that's kind of help. That's a way to actually bond with somebody. Yeah. I think a lot of people use like the, like what people are saying to Hannah or I don't mean no, it's just like cop-outs. Yeah. Like people to, to hear that and then to automatically think children are starving. Of course they are. Yeah. We know that. And guess what? If you made a hundred grand, you could go help them.

Yes. So think about, I mean, you know, kind of think about it that way. Yeah. Okay. What about talking about what your friend texted you on ideals of guys? Yes. That actually goes well with dating. So my friend, she gave me permission to tell the story. So she is seeing this guy and she hasn't dated anyone in a very long time. She kind of took like a hiatus since COVID, just kind of doing her own thing, like focusing on her career, all that. But she started seeing this guy and they became friends first and

And like they just kept seeing each other but she was like I don't know how I feel about him but she always talked about him with me like every day she would give me updates and I'm like okay you also hang out a lot like you like everything about him and then the whole time though I was like no pressure at the end of the day at least like you guys can be friends because she kept saying he's not my usual type he's like he's just not who I would usually date and...

And yesterday she texted me and she's like, wait, he just texted me and I got so excited. And I was like, this is such a monumental moment. Like, this is great. And then we were talking. She was saying, like, at the end of the day, she's like, I think I do like him. But since he's not my usual type, I have a wall up. And I was like, OK, well, let's think about your usual type. Has your usual type ever worked? No, because you'd be dating them if it did work. And.

So I was like, maybe it's amazing that he's not your usual type because this guy will work out. And then she was like, that's actually so valid. And she's like, you should talk about on the pod why we have like this wall up of what our usual type should be and why we let our egos get in the way of like what we think we should date versus what we just want to date. I think I think that was everything in the text. I think it was, too. Let me look quick.

I'll let you read or look at it because I can't. Okay. I don't know how to read when I have cameras in front of me. Like getting over what your idea of an ideal man is, body type, personality, career. I feel like it's so tied to ego and unrealistic expectations when in reality we should just be getting to know the person individually and fuck what other people think. But like how do you get to that point? So I bet a lot of people struggle with –

wanting a certain type of guy that looks a certain way, does a certain thing, which when we say does a certain thing, that means a certain type of income and has a certain personality. And then, and then she says, get over what other people think. So I think in her head, she's got the stereotypical man that like everybody would think is hot. Probably. Yeah. Attractive. Yeah. Society's idea guy. And it's like, when we do that,

I think you're choosing between making everybody else happy and everybody else think you're cool versus yourself. And it's like you have to pick you every single time because number one, if you're only looking for a certain type, you miss out on all the all the other good ones around. Yeah. Who could be like your fit? Well, also, like there is a reason your type isn't working. They're not a good fit for you.

Or you're not dating the right people. You're dating like what you think you should date. So you're not actually connecting with them. And imagine being like, okay, that's the one I should pick. So I'm going to pick him. But I feel this like hole in my heart every time I'm with him. But I know we look good together. But it's like, do you love being with him? Well, because I was like complaining to my chiropractor the other day and my therapist. Two different people. Two different people, yeah. It happened the same day. But I just was like, why can't I find anyone that I like for more than –

few dates and she was like my therapist was like you date the same people and I'm like I've heard that a million times but then my chiropractor was like you know every guy you talk to me about is the exact same person like same guy a little different font he's like have you ever tried dating maybe I don't know not that type and I'm like wait so if you recognize that my therapist recognized that maybe I should really try to date a different type of guy I know but I feel like

I don't feel like you're picking these guys based off of some societal standard you think you should. The last two guys I've gotten dates with, like this year, their occupations weren't even on hinge. No, I really think every time you show me a guy, you're like, okay, he's cute. I mean, it's...

This is the problem with dating apps, though. All you have to go off of is photos and, like, some prompts that they've answered on there. And then you're supposed to swipe a certain direction. And then you text them a little bit. Yeah. And then you meet them on a date. Like, that's not...

That versus, hey, I've known this guy for five years. I want to set you up on a date with him. I really think you would be a match. Those are two totally different things. Yeah. Like, you don't have a lot to go off of. So how are you supposed to pick a different kind of guy? I know. Especially because, yeah, besides their physical appearance, like, I can't see what their personality's like. Unless you go on a date with them. Yeah. And then you go on these dates, and I feel like you oftentimes leave, and you're like, well, it wasn't a no. Yeah. So I'll go on another one. Yeah. But...

But I don't feel like you're doing what that text is. I think I used to a lot, but I feel like I've gotten better about it. Yeah. I do think I need to maybe try to date different types of guys, but it's like you said, how am I supposed to, the only way I could do that is if I met someone organically. Like out. Yeah. If you met them out at the bar. Which is what she did. She met them organically and then was like, wait, not my usual type, but now I'm starting to like.

feel this connection. I will say this about ideal types though. I think ideal types will get you about six months, but if you really want to play the long game with it, it's gotta be, you have to drop all the ideal types and just go off of connection. Yeah. And, and like physical appearance. I feel like I do think a lot of people say, um,

don't look at what they look like. You have to be attracted to your partner. Yes. But I think a lot of people get more attractive when you get to know them. Like if you see their ambition or if you see like their drive or their sweetness, tenderness, then you're like, Oh, he's getting hotter. Yeah. But I think you have to be like, I think guys too. Okay. I was talking about this the other day actually. So guys I think can get hotter with their personality. Yeah. The guy I was talking to about this said, I don't think girls can necessarily.

No, because I feel like guys put you in a box immediately. He was like, she could be a 10, and if she's done with a box of rocks, then she's maybe a 9.5. I was with a couple guys the other night, and this one guy, so I was with a guy, and his best friend was there, and he was telling me about this girl he likes.

And he was like, you know, I'm just not like really feeling it. I don't really think she's my type, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, let me ask you a question. The moment you met her, like, where'd you put her?

I was like, did you put her in the girlfriend category, friend category? He was like, not the girlfriend category. I'm like, so that hasn't changed from you this entire time? He's like, no, and I don't think anything will. So I asked him, I was like, is the box theory accurate? And they both were like, very much so. Like, when you meet a girl, then the first few moments, you will know if you want to pursue something with them or not. And if, like, whatever that is, that's how it's going to be. Like, I think there are some instances where you can change, like, maybe, like, a best friend. Like, they fall in love with each other over time.

But I think in the back of the guy's head, he's always kind of known.

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Amazing. And he's like, she's so – and sometimes they end up – they do, and you're like, oh, no. You're like, you know where that's going. And honestly, even then, sometimes I think it can work forever. But guys, I think they can move like three points on a scale based off their personality or like if they call you the Uber, if they do whatever, whatever it is, it's like they can kind of fluctuate. So have you heard of the scale that the guy draws and it's looks and then craziness?

Wait, who drew that? I can't think of the guy's name, but he's the one that has the wipe off board and he says, fuck around and find out. He's that guy. Can you send me this when you find it? Yes. But imagine. Okay. So imagine like a graph. Okay. So looks and then craziness. Yeah. You got the X and the Y. Okay. And it's looks on one and craziness on the other. Okay. And it's, he groups them into three different categories. So it's like zero to three, three to six, and then six to 10 on both. And then he's like, okay, so if she's a,

four on the crazy, but a seven on the hot. That's pretty good. Okay. So he gives you these zones of like, that's, that's your one night stand girl. She's hot, but she can be really crazy. Or you've got your hot, but she's not crazy. That's your girlfriend. That's your wife zone, that area. And then he's like, if she's the zero to a three on the crazy, but she's a nine or a 10 on the looks, he's like, that's your unicorn and capture her because we want to study her. Like,

Like, so they've got this scale. And I was like, I, at first you're like laughing and you're like, no, I think that that's how they really do think. Well, because if you think about it, I guess I only can really use my own experiences, but with Mike, my friends, and I've talked to you about this and my therapist, I'm always like, like, why does anyone like me? Like, why can't I find anyone to like be with? And everyone's like,

You have never, no one's ever ended it with you. You've always ended it with people. But it's because my mind has shifted so much. But the guys that have dated me consistently, more than four dates, they knew from date one or two that they wanted to pursue something. Their minds aren't changing. I feel like every guy that's ended things with me, by the way, guys have ended things with me, but it's been from that first date. One or two, yeah. That's when one date. The only time a guy's ever ended it with me is after a first date.

Or it's been like mutual, like actually been like I don't want to see you again. Right. But after like a third or fourth date, I feel like you're kind of like golden. If he's not using, like some people are like, yeah, we go on so many dates. But it's like, okay, he's not actually like wanting a relationship. Right. But like if you're dating like very, what's that word called? With intention. Like if you're dating someone where you feel like you both have intention, like the guy's not usually ending it, I feel like.

Cause they're, they already know they want to pursue this girl within like the first like five fish dates from like what I've seen with my friends. Does that make sense? No, it does make sense. I'm thinking about it. I don't think I, I, I don't think I've seen that. Like I, I see what you're saying, but I'm thinking about like my friends are like when I used to date people and I'm like, I do feel like though there, you could get to like the talking phase of like three months and then be like, it just fizzled. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, or, and that could be mutually or whatever. Like, I feel like they're,

I'm more so mean like if you're dating someone with an intention, like the guy will let you know from the get go if he does not want to pursue like a second date with you.

Oh, you mean just the first date? Yeah, just the first date. Oh, yeah. So it wasn't very clear. No, no, no. That I think had happened. But I'm like, I think you can also get the date 10 and be like, okay, this was fun. Oh, yeah, but I don't think those people are dating with full intention. I'm talking about the people you date and they're very much looking for a relationship. That guy will know after the first date if he wants to continue with you or not. Oh, really? I feel like in my experience, I've had guys that are like, I just don't see a future. Yeah. That's fine.

I don't know. Okay, I'm taking the other side of the coin. And I think that they could keep, they could have good intention, but they could be like, I don't know yet. And they could be more like methodically testing it out. Does it go against the box theory? I'm not into the box theory because I think it's too specific. Like, I think there's a million different ways to skin the dating cat. Yeah. So I'm like, we can't do it one way because every time I'm like, well, but then this, but then that. So I'm always like, I don't know. Yeah.

But I get the box theory and I like it in a lot of ways. But I also think there's times I think if we get so if we like do the box theory, then it's like what your friend saying about the idea that you miss out on everything else. Well, it's so funny because when I think about my relationships in high school, they were all guy friends that I would never have probably dated when I first met them. But I got to know them and I was like, well, you're so funny and cute. And all of a sudden you're like really hot. Yeah, because I got to know them over a year or two.

Right. And I was like, I wouldn't want to be boxed in. I don't want to box like more of the open mind. I feel like you you don't miss as much. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as a girl, I don't think girls box guys in.

No, not at all. No. Even the guys that I'm dating, it's like they can do one little thing. I'm like, oh, yeah. I think we I think we box initially. Like, you know, they say you form an opinion in the first like what point? Oh, one second to someone. I think you do box. But I think we're more apt to be fluid. Yeah. In our minds. Yeah. And I think that works. I mean, you have to be this week, you know. I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I know. I think we have to be more like I was like, no. And I'm like, maybe, you know.

He's back. He's not back. He's back. Yeah, and then it's like, he's gone. I'm in. If we like him or if we don't, just text me and let me know that morning. By the way, we love him. Okay, great. I love him too. We hate him. Good. If I see him, I won't talk to him. I'm indifferent. I wish you could just meet guys I date. I really want to meet this one specific one we keep sort of like dancing with. I really would like to meet him. I would really love for you to meet him too. I just...

Yeah. I just feel like sometimes you, I just, there are people I date that I'm like, Alex would really like them.

I would. Yeah, I want. And then I want to meet them and wonder if and then wonder if I would. But I don't know what setting I want to meet them in. That's the whole thing. Like, I think the best case scenario is like not meet them at a happy hour, but meet them for lunch. OK, so I was listening to a podcast the other day and this lady was saying that when you date people, you need to stop going on traditional dates like happy hour or dinner or this or that. And they're like, she's like, you need to start.

just like bringing them into your natural environment. And I'm like, that would be, I mean, that's smart because then you see how people interact and react and all this stuff. Cause on a date, you really only can tell like how they treat like the wait staff or like their manners. But I was like, I would be so scared to bring a first date in like my life.

Yeah, but in reality, probably the best first date we can go on is to the grocery store because there's nothing more awkward than, like, having to pivot around. Like, what kind of food are you both getting? Like, what are the things you're looking at? The grocery store. Yeah. Because you know what Emily, is it Morse who we had on? Yeah, Emily Morse. What she said, like, hit me like a freight train. When you're in a heightened state of arousal, you're more likely to say things that you don't mean. And then she goes, just like when you're drunk.

Or like when you've been drinking a little bit. So I'm like, people go on all these first dates and they drink like two bottles of wine. And then we're just saying, and I'm like, are we really, are these people really dating the real person? As opposed to like the store or breakfast or something. And it's like, that's the raw version of them. Well, how many people have I, you got a text from me at like midnight. I'm like, he liked them in the morning. I'm like, ew. It wasn't that cool. It's like you wake up and you see your phone. You're like, no, I didn't even like him. That's why I will not sleep with a guy on a first date anymore. Because you're so right.

And, like, you don't remember some of the things you say, and it's just...

it's it's a dangerous territory I mean I I'm in for the nerves like I am in for date number one like please do not go actually go to the grocery store type thing oh yeah but two or three like I mean if you really want to know I mean my friend was like going on a they're gonna get plants together for their apartments and I'm like that is actually so cute cute I don't know why I laughed initially but I'm like they're gonna go because like she loves plants so he's like really cute so he's like can you show me some nice plants for my apartment I'm like

One, he's like taking an interest to what she likes. Yes. They're going out in the wild and they're doing something that's like so not normal. Yeah. Like having to meet at a restaurant is really not that hard.

Having to go to a store, like go to a bookstore or something like that. Oh my gosh. I know. I always think about my favorite dates in New York City, even if it's not with people that I really enjoyed my time with. And it's always the very non-normal dates, not normal dates. It could even be going to a sporting event. You just see people in a different environment. Sporting events are a good one. Yeah. That's actually...

Okay, I think that the best...

I think the worst first date is a movie because you're not talking. Or a concert. Or a concert. Like, you're not talking to each other and you're not really getting... That's, like, so social and, like, there's no connection happening. But I think the best first date is besides the grocery store because what else? That, to me, is, like, the most intense version of a human. But a sporting event's a good one because there's, like, logistics involved. You can't just meet at the seats. Like, you have to meet beforehand. You have to go to the concession stand. You have to talk about the event. Will you see how people...

act under pressure because like let's say the tickets aren't working out or like you're rushed you have to yeah honestly especially in new york because you have to see like are they planning how are you going to get there like i remember i went to a game with a guy like a year ago and wi-fi is so bad or service is so bad by the yankee stadium and his tickets weren't uploading and he was so calm about it he's like we'll get it figured out it's fine and i was like

Yeah. But I was like, it was so cool to like see his character. And then if, and then if he's like, well, if I can't get him uploaded, we're going to a bar nearby and we're going to have fun. Like just for somebody that's not like, well, I can't like, I don't know what to do because it is the there. What is worse? Like if there's a group reservation or something and I'm the one that made it, I can sit there and press refresh on my phone to make sure there's nothing like being the ticket holder. The pressure is huge.

But then you do find out how somebody acts under pressure. I mean, in my head, I was like, well, I would have, um, screenshot of these or made sure I had them in a place that I didn't need service, but that's just me. But for that reason, I'm out on you. But I was still very impressed with how he acted. He was very calm. He like was like, we're going to meet at this subway at this time. It get overall the whole day. It was like, I was like, you have,

Like you have a good character and I really enjoy how you handle situations. Well, then, yeah, you know how he's going to be in a pinch. Yeah. I think activities are a really great way to figure out how people are going to be. Because, yeah, I don't literally when you go to get drinks, you cannot tell anything about a person besides like how they maybe are fake nice to a waiter.

Oh, how somebody treats a waitstaff is a top three. Oh, yeah. But people can fake that. You know what I mean? Totally. On a first date, they can be very nice. But I want to see how you are without being able to plan how you're going to be. Yeah. Well, and there's not that many variables in meeting in a restaurant, eating, having drinks, and then leaving. Especially in New York, there are so many variables out there in the wild. Like if a homeless person comes up to you, what are they going to do? Right. If someone randomly yells, like laugh.

Somebody gonna walk street side. Actually, I wasn't gonna talk about my date, but this is like a good, this actually like was a good character moment. Okay. So I did go on a date last night and we were in an elevator and it was me and him and like these three very, very drunk men, like older men. And the two guys knew who I was and they were being just like

drunk and got very close to me. And they... I was with him, so I felt fine. But I was like, if I was just with them, I would have felt uncomfortable. But right when we got out of the elevator, he immediately put his hand behind my back and pulled me away from them and asked if I was okay. And I was like, that was a very good...

character moment where I was like okay like you can handle situation like you didn't like freak out or just like leave me in the dust yeah leave you or it or like feel weird about that yeah and he didn't make a big deal of it he literally just like put his hand behind my back and just like directed me out of the line of traffic the line of fire yeah yeah so I was like so even in that moment I was like okay thank you yeah thank you I'll remember that

Do you want to talk about our day yesterday? Yes. I thought it was. Okay, so yesterday Jordan and I were invited to speak on this panel. The Level Up, right? Level Up, yes. And it was for female entrepreneurs and creators, which is very different. I think we should nail this home right now. That is not an influencer event.

No. That is the not opposite. I think there was influencers there for sure because influencers are creators and entrepreneurs. Yeah. But this was like business owners as people that work in corporate America that like are aspiring to do content or own a business. And I don't think we knew either of us knew what we were like getting ourselves. We were just like we were happy to be there, happy to be included. And we showed up. And so the first panel, we were panel number two. The first one was.

business owners, founders. Yes. And we were the creator panel. Yeah. It was like, yeah, it was like you and I, and then two people who like have their own marketing agency on our creators. Yes. Right. They both have their own marketing. Like a social agencies. Um, and I want, okay. So I want to know like what your number one takeaway was from what you like from listening to people, because what, it was so funny because while we were speakers, um,

I don't really even remember much about what we said. I was learning so much from the other two and the people that went before us and like the atmosphere. Yeah. Well, so I, so Julia and,

I think it's Julie Montgomery and then Matt. What's Mal's last name? Kilmer. Kilmer. I like value their opinions and like their creative mind so much. Like I watch both of their videos all the time because I think that they... I've learned so much from them. So I also was just like, oh my God, I can learn so much. But it was so interesting...

hearing someone who does their own content and also does content for other people. But my biggest takeaway was honestly, it was like, I love how supportive both of them are to like, for example, like Mallory helping you. Like I loved how she was like, I love helping Alex. I also have making my own content. There's not a lot of people out there who want to see other people succeed. And both of those girls like very much. So want the people that they're working for to succeed, but they also want themselves to succeed. And I was like that, like,

Like, I would – that would be hard for me to, like, help – because, like, I can – I mean, I'm going to be honest. Like, if I was helping other people and they were growing faster than me because doing the same thing that I was doing, it would be hard on me. But I feel like these two, like – they're, like, cheerleaders. Like, no matter what the situation is. I'm like, I loved that. Yeah. It's the – so Hannah Eve was the one who hosted the event who has a social agency herself but –

hold these panels to literally inspire other people. Yeah. And I was like, I think that is so cool that she gives back that way. And, and that's her whole, it's, it's kind of like what goes around comes around is what it felt like for all of them. But what I found was so interesting from those girls was saying how the detachment is,

And how everybody in the room was open to struggle. And I kind of felt like the room got really communal when people were like more vulnerable or they were talking about burnout or like the girl that was like, I had a failed podcast and how everybody said like the entry level to success is failure. Like if you're not failing. And I think sometimes when people are failing, they feel like they're not, that they've lost it. And how people kept saying,

you're the one that picks when you fail so you haven't failed unless you give up yeah and I feel like so many people in that room were like I feel like I'm failing and everyone was like there's no such thing as failure until you wave the white flag yeah and so it was like this whole proponent for everyone in there to be like keep going and like you're and then I feel like everyone else was like I don't feel alone yeah I know it sucks how like I think we've talked about this in the past how like

you have to talk about like, like the negativity is almost what brings people together. Like if everyone's talking about their success, everyone's kind of like,

not really feeling the vibe, but if people are talking about their failure, everyone's like, oh wait, cause they can, it's more relatable. And I, I do feel like when we were speaking like us for it, we all got very vulnerable and I could, I could like feel the energy shifting too. Cause it's like, I was so proud of that one girl being like, I did have a failed podcast. I'm like, that's so brave of you to say, but now that we know that I bet multiple people went up to her and like maybe gave her ideas or she has an opportunity or like,

I don't know. I just, I really like how Hannah allowed like a very vulnerable space for everyone to speak. She's safe too. It was very safe and nobody was being who they weren't. Yeah. Everybody was just like very real with where they were in life. And then what I thought was cool is because I always say to know where you've gotten, you have to remember where you came from. And when we left, Mallory was like, it's so funny. Like I almost didn't go to that.

Because Mallory was like, I had an event in the morning. I had that. And then I had an event at night. And she was like, when I moved to New York, all I wanted was to have an event to go to. And she's like, and now I have three in one day. And I said, Mallory, I would have given anything last year to be in that room, let alone speaking in that room. And I didn't even realize that. Oh, my God. That was my first speaking event.

And that's like – and it's like that you have to think about when we moved to New York. We would be like, it would be cool to go. But it's like you were speaking. No, when Hannah asked us, I was like shocked. I was like, not you, but like – I was like, you want me to speak? I was like, why? Like I was – I had a major imposter syndrome. I was like, why do you want me to speak at this? I was like, of course I have Alex. Like take her. But I was like, why do you want me to speak? Not at all. And it's like –

But that's where our minds go sometimes. But I felt like... So sometimes our minds go to this place of, why me? Yeah. But in that room, I felt like we weren't pretending to be somebody else. No. We were just very much so coexisting, being like, oh my God, we go through this all the time. We're like, we have no idea what we're... And being so open like that is the only way...

I feel like to inspire other people because you meet them at a realistic place instead of being like, just fake it till you find it. It's like, that doesn't help anybody. No. And I also love how everyone was like everyone's biggest hype girl in that room. Like, I feel like we all were like uplifting each other. I'm like, like I, I have been very exhausted as you know, but after I left that event, I was kind of like, all right, I felt like I got like a third wave and I was like, I could really like conquer the world right now. Yeah. And I think everybody left with that and it's hard to,

It's hard sometimes to show up to those things because you start to be like, I don't really need that. But every time you go, I think you gain something from it. And yesterday I just found very powerful, and it was the whole purpose in three hours of why I love New York. People here are down for anything. They're creative. They're energetic. They're open, like proximities, everything. And I really felt that, and I was really happy that we did it. I was too. I was proud of you. I was proud of you. Proud of you.

We did that. We did that on. We were like, one, two, three. Proud of us. Proud of you. Proud of us. Proud of you. Proud of you. Proud of you. We're doing it. One, two, three. Proud of you. That's what it is.

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love and coming from intern Ames okay which actually it's Ames and I always say it wrong but I'm just it's Ames um Nickelodeon and Ames they're like I'm really not I'm batting zero Ames or Ames then Ames Ames okay Ames friends you have like Ames Iowa yeah like Amory and then Ames but I'm like Ames I don't know it's too far gone was it Amory or Amory okay I would say Amory wait Annemarie

It's like Anne space Marie, but it's Anne Marie. Anne Marie. Anne with an M. Okay, because I said A-Marie once. I think I was like, no, it's Anne Marie. Anne Marie, yeah. Okay, so she was talking about how what does it mean if a guy asks you to hang out the same day that he messages you? And to that, I say we are entirely too free. Um...

Okay, so I have some thoughts from that because I did that the other day. You messaged a guy and then asked him to hang out that same day? No, he did that to me. Oh, the 3 p.m.er. Yeah. Yes, okay. Okay, so usually in a perfect world, I would say no.

because I think I'm like what's the rush but I have been so busy lately where I get it now like in New York especially it's kind of like I'm free at this moment or I'll see you in two weeks so usually like ask me like two weeks so I'm like never he needs to plan but in that moment I was like wait I literally was I told him I was like I am free from three to five today

And he was like, so am I. And he was like that. I can make it work because he wanted. And I took it as like he just wanted to see me. Yeah. And we went on a 3 p.m. date.

But that to me feels like a little different scenario of like, hey, do you want to get dinner tonight? Like the first shot. Like didn't he try to schedule something different or like ask you and then you were like, okay, this is really – like I'm free from 3 to 5 today? I guess it wasn't the same day. It was like Thursday. He was like, do you want to get drinks tomorrow? So like, yeah, I guess it wasn't the same day. It was within 24 hours, but it was like Thursday and he was like, do you want to get drinks tomorrow? Because I think if someone's like, hey, at noon, they're like, hey, we just matched free tonight at 7. I think I'd be like –

Oh no Even like Some other guy Dating He was like He was like Do you wanna Me Cause he was like Working from home He was like Do you wanna meet And get coffee Today And I was like In what world I'm like It is 11am You think I'm just Free to get coffee today Yeah I don't like The same day Yeah I don't even I'm not even that good If my friends text me And are like Hey free tonight I mean that's actually Like way better Yeah But it's more so like

No, I think the date, I think if he's free that day, it's a little bit, I think everyone's too open. I also think it's a little disrespectful, too. It's like, take some time and plan. Yeah, hit him up for a later date. Yeah, I think if you're boyfriend and girlfriend, obviously that's totally fine, but it's cute. Yeah, but in the early stages, it's like, girls like effort. Date number four, if they're like, okay, I know we didn't have plans, but I would love to go to happy hour with you. I think that's adorable and so sweet and he misses you. Yeah. But we haven't met yet and I think that it's not. Did you go? Okay. No.

What? Oh, my gosh. This guy. Okay, I remember him. He asked her to come over. Stranger danger. And I think in New York especially, we just have a plethora of restaurants, places to go. Inviting somebody over to your house for date number one is like, no. What did he want to do? Drink wine or something? Yeah, he was like, do you want to come over here?

I was like, I asked him, I was like, can you go get drinks? He was like, yeah, come to my apartment for a drink. That gives me, that gives me he wants to murder you. He was like 35? Yeah. So he, yeah, we were like, and- Not old, sorry, not old. Not old. A guy that could probably afford to take you to happy hour. Yeah. Because- He's a lawyer.

He is a lawyer. This gives lazy. I'm too lazy. I've had a hard week and I don't really feel like going out somewhere. Come to me. Well, and if you... And here's my thing. If you're going to invite me over to your apartment and you're 35 and you're a lawyer, it better be some apartment that was worth going to. Like, at that point, you almost need to accidentally send a photo and be like, oh, sorry, that was my penthouse. Like, otherwise, it's like, why would you go there as opposed to, like, a restaurant? Also...

We can delete this if you don't want me to blow up the spot, but a lot of times we love the free meals. Who doesn't? We're not going to somebody's... Yeah, she's always like, I need, you know... And I'm like, we're not going to someone's apartment for them to pour you wine. Like, you can do that at home. Yeah, and the next day, I was on Bumble and saw them on Bumble, and I was like, okay, I kind of feel like...

Yeah, I don't like that. Okay, if the mic didn't pick that part up, the next day her roommate saw the same guy on Bumble, and I have to say I hate that because... Did they match? They did not match. That, to me, is flat. That's like so many flags. Inviting people over to your apartment? I'm not going to come to your apartment the first time I meet you. Okay, and then she said, I'm not going to come over to your apartment the first time I meet you, and he didn't respond. Oh, hot.

That's one of those people we should almost put out like a little PSA of like beware. I get like serial killer vibes. I'm not going to lie. Maybe we should match with him and go and like bring a bunch of... Like take 10 of us over there. And Beck, what are you doing to people? No, I... For the safety of New York. It's creepy out there. We should...

That's scary. Yeah. I actually hate, I don't know. It gives me either, I'm so lazy, like, I've had such a hard day, you come to me, or he wants to murder her. Yeah, like Fifty Shades of Grey type thing. Well, that's sex. Yeah, but I feel like he could, like, pull you in and then, like, take you to some chamber and make you not leave ink.

That's the vibe I get. That's somewhere between murder and lazy. That's like effort, but you still get to leave alive. Here's my red room where I like to whip people. And you will stay. It's like, ah! I would be so creeped out if someone said that to me. I get nervous going to people's apartments even after... It has to be like four dates, I feel like. No, I agree. There is like...

You know, yeah, let's put a safety disclaimer out there. Be careful. Yeah, be very careful. I also feel like your gut will tell you, too. You can get, like, a gut read. Yeah, and don't be afraid to, like, have a friend come, like, be nearby. I mean, or have your friend call you and text you a million times. That's also... Alex did that to me. I was like, I'm alive! Oh, yeah, it was very unlikely to not reply. I know, I got a few... Until 2 p.m. I had a few missed calls.

Lots of texts. And I was like, oh, she's concerned about me. Well, you were like, not sure. This was like, you were like, not sure about this date. Well, it also doesn't help that I, well, I guess you can see where I, my location. I didn't know you could see my location at the time because I can't see yours. So I was like, oh, she can't see my location. Everything's I'm like actually dead. But then knowing you could see it, then I'm like, no, wait, that would make her think I was more dead because you could see I wasn't home. Yeah.

yeah, I knew you were. Then I was like, well, in my head, I was like, she's so Jordan went on a date on Saturday night and was like a little iffy about going on it. Yeah. And then doesn't surface like till 2 PM the next day, which is very unlike her. And I was like calling and texting. And I was like, just kind of weird. I haven't heard from you. Like, so then I remembered, I was like, Oh, I think I can see her location. And I went and checked it. And she, she had told me where this guy lived and she was there. And I was like,

Oh shit. Maybe he killed me. Maybe their phone's just there. I was busy. I was going to go. You had been very, very pleasantly surprised by the apartment. 5 p.m. was my cutoff. I was like, if I haven't heard from her by then, I was checking your Insta stories. I know. And I had like not posted anything that day.

So yeah, I guess I kind of went AWOL. You did go AWOL. Ooh. Yeah. That's spicy. Juicy. What really would have got me is if you opened it and it left it on red, then I would have known. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, he had your phone and he opened it and doesn't know your reader seats are on. And then I would have been like, okay, I got it.

That's a good way to send me Morse code is just open up the text and don't. Yeah, because you know I would never leave you on Reddit. I'm just too anal to ever do that. You just simply would not. That would be the only way to be like, okay, she just doesn't have her phone. But yeah, I had missed calls. I was like, oh my God, is everything okay? And I was like, oh, they're worried about me. They're worried about me. They're like, I'm okay. Yeah, that was a long night. We have our first meetup tonight.

Yeah, but I'm just, well, we already had it. But we'll, but we're going, well, I was saying that to segue into them, we also have the tour. Oh my God. We like never even talk about it. Yeah. This is like the first of the, so many people keep asking us where the other dates and locations are. I don't know if we can legally say yet. Oh no, we can say where we're going. It's like I've been DMing them all back to date. Which Amory has. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

They were potentially subject to change, but I think they're now locked in. I think they are too. Yeah. Cause the flights are sent. Yeah. I sent them the new dates though. Oh good. Yeah. Cause we're going to Austin, Dallas, Charleston, Nashville, and Tampa. Um,

End of July and then in August. We will be putting up a graphic with everything coming very soon. But tonight's our first one in Hoboken. Yeah, this is like the little kickoff of the Pink Whitney tour. And this tour is going to be so much fun. Originally, we were going to do the Northeast and then we went to Dallas or Oklahoma. I can't remember which one. And we were like, let's do more Southern cities. So this is our little Northeast check. And then we're off to the.

Yeah. Below the belt. I feel like the South is our main demographic. We love the Southern men and women. Yeah. These cities are going to be fun. Yeah. I'm pumped. Which one are you most excited for? Well, so Austin because I've always wanted to go, but also Charleston. Charleston's, yeah. Well, Austin and Dallas will be great. Just in general. They won't be. One guy can't run the whole bunch. He's about to. No. No.

uh no I'm excited for Austin and Charleston but also like I love Nashville and I love Tampa Nashville will be fun because it's at the bar yeah like the bar's still a bar and so that's like we understand I love your backyard I like when we go somewhere and we're like familiar with it that's always nice um but Charleston is just like quintessential yeah love I'm excited it's gonna be it's gonna make summer go by so fast which sucks but I'm so excited somebody the other day said to me enjoy the rest of summer and I was like

Oh, the rest? It's July 13th today. It has flown by. When this episode comes out, it'll be what, the 17th? I had a dream that it was my 31st birthday. You're going to blink and it'll be here. But it was still the same amount of time. Blink 182. Blink 182. Oh, yeah. Would you rather listen to Blink 182 or Good Charlotte? Blink 182. I like my OGs. I don't really listen to Good Charlotte. Do you? There's one song. Have you heard of St. John? Can you sing it? Roses? Roses.

Can you sing it? Oh, the, this, like the TikTok song roses by St. John. Perhaps. Probably. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that is like, you can't get me off of it right now. I was up dancing to that all night. I've been having dance parties, but you should listen to him. I can't with you. I can totally picture you doing that. No wonder you don't sleep. Yeah. Well that, cause I get wired and then I try to get in bed. I can just see you like trying on all your clothes and dancing. I do. I try on all my clothes. I need it. I just wish you would get rid of your clothes and give them to me.

You're coming up with such a good fashion. No. The intern's been taking them. No. In what world? Mallory's been taking them. Wait, why? She just takes them. There's a bag at all times.

I've been purging. Alex Bennett. I'm organizing. I've been doing my law. I've been very... You're telling me you have a bag of clothes that you're giving away to other people? Well, I'm selling a lot of them at the RealReal. I'm making money off of them. Okay, that's fine. And then I sold a chair. I'm an entrepreneur over here. If you are giving away anything for free, please let me look at it first. I will. I will. I have a new batch and I will give it to you. Because you have like the best clothes. I have a bag labeled Jordan. Right now I do. Do you actually...

Shut up. Do you really? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. Do you want to say it to me first to do it? The thing that would you do best? Maybe everyone's like, everyone knows. I love the multicolored Birkenstock situation. You have their black and white. Thank you. Um, like comment, subscribe, follow us on Tik TOK, Twitter, Snapchat. You will subscribe to YouTube, Instagram, Instagram,

Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook, and leave us a five-star review. Threads. Threads. Threads. Wherever you listen to podcasts and DMS listener questions, go shoot your shot. Come hang out with us in any of those cities. Date's coming soon. Date's coming soon. Yes. On a graphic to an Instagram feed near you. Yes. Okay. Love you. Goodbye.