Can You Squirt? & Losing Friends and Lovers 53:32

You guys, when I'm a girlfriend again, I'm going to be a little freak. You should be. You should be. You've never been that. Yeah, life is too short not to be. You know how you said that I've helped your sex lives? Yeah, I'm regretting saying it. I want to say you. Thank you. Thank you. I like the environment of being girl pod. But thanks, Jordan. Yeah. I feel like you guys are making me to become this awesome, really cool girlfriend. Good. Good.

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Today we are struggling, but we're in a new place. We're in my mom's apartment. This is my favorite place in New York City. You have spent the night here before when we got locked out of my apartment very early on in our friendship and we didn't know where to go, so we had to call my parents because your dad was staying here at the time, so they were in the bedroom. You were on the floor in a literal cocoon and I was on the couch. You're welcome for giving you the couch. I remember when you

When we slept here, I woke up in the morning and I looked over at you and you literally were like in a cocoon with the blanket covered over your head and you told me you were shivering. It was cold. It was like freezing. I know, I felt bad. Okay, so today we're in our fall clothes. Yeah, we are. Because it's football season and you know what the official drink of football season is? Pink motherfucking Whitney. That's right. I was at a bar over the weekend and...

they he was pouring pink whitney shots the bartender was oh my god i would have freaked out i have to tell you guys it was one in new york city and i was um i was just sitting at the bar trying to order and all of a sudden i saw the bartender walk with pink whitney and then i was like what is he doing with that and i saw him pouring literal pink whitney shots and i was freaking out but you guys weren't there to freak out with me so i just freaked out in my head everyone's like why is this gonna freak out i'm like that's that's my drink that's my

that's my drink. And everyone's like, I don't, I don't care. What's wrong with her? Yeah. So I think the, I think the thing is, cause it used to be the official drink of summer. So the seasons are changing, but what's staying the same as our official drink and it's pink Whitney. So go to your local bar today and order shots of pink Whitney. Yes. And it's shoot your shot fall now. So keep shooting that shot and keep telling us about it. Cause that's personally my favorite DM.

Is a shoot your shot DM. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can they tell us? Yes. I was like, there are some other ones that are good. Other than the... Yes. When they say what they've done. Because, yeah, we love making people be the best version of themselves. Yes. Okay. Okay.

So before we started, Alana said that she had a question to ask us and I'm a little nervous about it, so I want her to ask us now. Oh, I hate when somebody's like, hey, I need to talk to you and you're like, what is it? I know. I was going to text you guys last night because I just like was curious, but then I was like, oh, maybe I'll just ask them on the pod like randomly. Save it for the pod, Alana. Always save it for the pod. I wanted to... No. Like... Oh, God. I know. Even... It's like she can't ask us. I'm like, what could it be? It's like weird. It's awkward to say. I feel like I've never like asked her.

asked my friends this before. Oh, can you squirt? Oh, no, I've never. Well, I don't think I ever have. I don't know how. Have you? Your face looks like maybe. Yeah. I thought of this topic the other, like a few weeks ago and I was like, uh, no. Wait, so yes or no? No, I can. Yes. Okay. Well, I think so. I think so. I think so. Okay. Do you? Okay. Okay.

Define squirting for me, please. Because I do this thing that I'll tell you about.

I think squirting is when... I think it fully. Yeah. Huh? So squirting is when you're having sex with a guy or they're pleasuring you. And I think when you orgasm, you actually squirt a liquid out. Some people say it's pee. Some people say it's not. But it's something squirting out of your vagina when you're coming. I thought that was squirting. Yes. No, I thought squirting could happen when you weren't orgasming. I think also when you're not sometimes.

I don't know because I don't really. To me, okay, squirting to me is like a legend. Like what is it? Like Loch Ness Monster. What is that? Ah, a myth. It's like another myth. No, but like. Like your boobgasm. It's a myth. Believe me.

That's real. What is it called, though, when people are like Loch Ness Monsters, Bigfoot, they're... Urban legends. Urban legends. I feel like squirting is an urban legend. No, squirt... No, if that's the definition of squirting, squirting is the wrong term. Because it doesn't squirt out of you, it drips. It's a drip. Okay, so I'm aware of the drip. Wait, what? I'm talking more about like a... No, no, no, no, no. What? What?

Dripping? What do you mean? You get so wet that you drip. Is that normal? No, that's not what I'm talking about. Are we all back in high school right now at a health class? I did not cover this in high school or health class. That's why I don't know anything about sex. All right, guys. Today we're going to be learning about squirting and the drip.

Your notebook's not. Well, and then there's the queef, but we'll save that for later. Well, I can queef. I can queef. Yeah, that's definitely. So that's, we have, if somebody says they can't queef, they're lying. Okay, let's start with the drip because that's a little bit calmer. What is the drip?

The drip of the drop. So, so when you're having sex and you're like loving it or you get so wet or like you're so into it, I'll, I'll start to just like drip. What am I dripping? What is that liquid? I think it's the substance that like the natural lube, lube. Like, I don't know what the substance is, but like when you're wet, like it's just like, what is that? It's like milky kind of like, okay.

Isn't that what, like, I actually am not sure what that is. It's discharge. Yes, it's discharge. That's the term. I don't know if it's that, though. Because it's, like, sexual. Yeah, but discharge can be, too, because when you ovulate, you discharge more. I don't know. I'm talking about, like, a turkey baster. What? What? Like, I think I do know what you mean. What do you mean a turkey baster? Like, a lot coming out. Oh, that's what I think of as squirting. Me, too. Well, some people think squirting is pee.

Yeah, and apparently you can learn how to do it. Yeah, yeah. No, it is definitely an art. No, you can. If I push hard enough, I can squirt. We all can if it's in there, but you have to have the substance in there. What is it? You push like you're peeing? It's not pee. I wish one of you did. I was almost certain that one of you could, and then you could explain it. But would you push like you're peeing? I think so. That's what I've been told.

I've never squirted like that. Okay, so you know how you can get a yeast infection if you don't pee immediately after having sex? A UTI. A UTI, yeah, correct. I'm that girl. I have sex.

I immediately run to the bathroom no matter what because I am that anal. I'm like, gotta go to the bathroom. I won't even... There's no words. Like, you take care of whatever's on your stomach or wherever the cum ended up. I have to pee immediately because I... That's where I think I can squirt though because a lot of times I don't... So I pee before and after sex. Yes. Always. Because there's not...

There's no point in not because why would you voluntarily want a UTI? Some people say if you hold your pee, sex is better. Absolutely. I think that's what. No, I've heard. I've heard that. I've heard that. It makes your orgasm stronger. No. I've heard that. No. Yes. Who told you that?

Someone on the bus in April. No, I'm dead serious. They were like, if you hold your pee, it like, I think it's because there's so much tension down there. You're not holding it like you have to pee in a full water bottle and you're just like, I kind of have to pee, but maybe I'll hold it until after. Then I get a UTI sitting here. I've never had a UTI. That's when that, and if you have. Yeah. I think it's because, I think we've talked about this on the podcast. It's really based off of where your vagina and your butt, I think how close they are. No, I'm serious. Yeah.

Yeah, because if they're close together, the bacteria can go back and forth faster. Your doctor's never said that to you? Like, it can be, like, how your vagina's positioned?

I never had a UTI until I was diagnosed with something, and then I had to take a lot of medication, and then I got my first UTI. So that might make sense if the bacteria... Yeah. And then once you get one, you can get more. Oh, yeah. It's like a yeast infection. Once you get one, you're going to get them all the time. Yeah, and it's awful. Also, antibiotics, I think, can cause you to get them, right? Yeah, maybe. That's what this was. It was like an intense one. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, thank you. That's nice. No, my best friend gets them all the time and she's had them like that and I feel so bad because they're so unbelievably painful. Like I couldn't move. I couldn't get out of bed. It was awful.

It's awful. I had, and then I started, and then I got, when I had my first UTI, I had my first, what's this called? Fever blister? Cold sore? Cold sore. Of course you did. When it rained, it poured. Oh, fuck that. Jesus, Alex. When I, so I'm afraid of getting a UTI. So I go to the bathroom immediately afterwards and I, but I don't have to pee because I've already peed, right? I peed before and then let's say it's 15 minutes later and now I have to pee again. I do believe that's squirting in that moment.

Because you push so hard because you make sure to get something out. Oh, yeah. And you kind of feel like a weird pulse. Correct. A little bit comes out and you feel like if you leave it in there, you're going to get a UTI. So you push it out with your abs. I think that's squirting. That happens to me all the time. I'll like pee and it's like, even after I masturbate, it'll be like a little, it's like a little pressure relief. And it's like a little white, it's like a little glob. A little white.

Yes, that's squirting, I think. In the toilet. I squirt in the toilet. Squirt every day. I'm just kidding. But no, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, I think you could do that in bed. And I think some guys would find that attractive. I'm doing it for anti-Utah. Lana's like, no! Why fucking blob? You do? Yes, we all do! I feel like girls are so afraid to talk about discharge. We're like, girls, we all have the snail trail. We all discharge. I have a question for you. What?

Now it's an episode. Okay. I'll see you guys later. So, did my part. You obviously drink and you have sex when you're drinking with Graham. Do you find it that it's harder for you to squirt or get wet when you're drinking? Because, like, that's why I don't think I ever really squirt is because I always have drunk sex. And it's hard for me to get wet when I'm drinking. Yes. So, I...

If I'm drunk or have even had like two glasses of wine and I have sex with Graham, it's so much worse than if I'm sober. Yes. I can't get wet. Because one of my favorite things, when you're wet, you're obviously loving it. It's the natural sign of you loving sex. Yes. I can't do that. I can hardly orgasm. I'm way less into it. I'm dizzy. It's terrible. Okay, thanks. It's dizzy out of my mind. Because I was just thinking about that. I'm like, I feel like guys probably...

It's like whiskey dick for guys. They're like, why isn't she getting wet? I'm like, I don't think guys realize when girls drink, it's a natural opposite of a lubricant. What is it? It would be like a dehumidifier. When you drink, it's a dehumidifier. No, but it's really hard for you to get wet and for you to orgasm. I can't do any of it. So I'm like, either you're swabbing spit with me down there or we're not going to have a... Do you use lube? No, I usually just do spit. But I would love lube. I just...

I'm not in a relationship, so I don't have, like, that comfortable conversation with someone before you have sex. You know what I mean? Like, hey, pull up the lube. Okay, so you can lick your finger and put it down there and then it can insert? Like, that's enough liquid to insert it? It's not enough, but it, like, does the job for the time being. Does it hurt? Well, drunk sex usually does hurt because it's just like, I can't get wet when I'm drinking. Is raw dogging where you do none? Sorry, I don't know the term. No, raw dogging is technically no condom.

Yeah. But no, it hurts. Alex's urban dictionary is like all fucked up. Like,

Ask Alex is just awful little bit. Alex was talking to some of our friends the other day and she, they brought up soft launch. And Alex, what did you think of soft, I was gone for this conversation. I was busy. So I didn't look at any of these texts, but Alex, what did you think soft launch was? I thought soft launch meant farting in your hand because urban dictionary says that it does. So like, what else am I supposed to do besides urban dictionary? And then believe what the, like, that's not my fault. Yeah.

Sometimes I love how naive you are about things. That's how I'm afraid. People are into weird stuff. I was like, okay. I mean, like, we're not sex shaming. So, okay, guys. He's like, yeah, I wanted a soft launch. And you're like, you farted in your hand. Why? Tell me more.

I love a good soft launch. I always think about that. Like if I were to ever get a boyfriend, like how I would announce it to the world. And I feel like you got to kind of have to do the soft launch. How would you, so what would you start doing? Like the hand and the, Oh, I do. Well, I do that with my brother all the time. I'll be like, Hey, can you like put your hand here? Like, what are you doing? I'm like, I just have to take a picture and I'll pretend like, so his hand will be on his glass and then mine. And then people will think we're on. I don't do this anymore. I used to do it. Okay. I was about to roast you. Sorry. Sorry. When I first moved to New York,

I was hanging out with a few. I was hanging out with some guys and they were all pissing me off. So when my brother came to visit, I remember like placing the glasses perfectly so I could see his hand and you could tell it was a guy. And I would like take a picture. So it looked like I was on a date with a guy and I would post it to my Instagram story to piss off other guys. And I was like, I'm soft launching my brother right now to piss off other guys. Did it work? I did have a few guys.

Not like, it was more so like it worked with my friends. You'd be like, who is that? The guys are like, I'm not talking to her. She's got somebody. And then I'm like, it's my brother. And the guys I wanted to make jealous, it obviously didn't work because they're not in my life anymore. But I don't do that anymore. That was when I was toxic before the podcast. This was like back in October. A lot of times you'll say that people think you have like a roster of guys, but we're like, that's not true. No.

And you know, with little things like the soft launch of your brother's hand might make them. Okay. I feel like I sometimes talk a big game, but I never have a roster. I don't think I've ever had a roster in my entire life living in New York. When I say those guys, it was like the one time I had sex with a guy and I'm like, I'm obsessed with them. But now they won't talk to me. Have I told you I love you? No.

What's the fastest you've told a guy that you love them and then been like, I'm so sorry. I have to take that back. Never. Oh, no, I've never told a guy I love them first.

Let it slip out after you have sex with them. No. You're like, I love you. No. I think I love you. I have, like, an actual problem that I'm working on where I cannot verbalize my emotions towards the male species. Where, like, that's why my five-year relationship, we got in a lot of fights because I couldn't tell him how I felt. Never. Someone would be like, my friends used to be like, I love you. And I'd be like, bleh.

I couldn't say back. Even to my friends. I fixed that. But, like, it's an actual issue of mine. Do you say I love you to your parents? Yeah. Okay. All the time. Sometimes if you don't say I love you to your parents, I think that, like, stems from it. But if you're, like, used to it, it's funny. I don't know why. You've never told a guy I love you first? No.

Well, I mean, like after the fact. No, no. He's always said, I love you first. And then you reciprocate it. You've never been like, hey, I love you first before he says that's correct. But I also I mean, I've only said it to like a few guys, like four guys. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. Right. I'll hear me like, I love you.

I only had like three relationships. Two in high school. Yeah, so you're not throwing the L word around. No, no, no, no, no, no. If a guy never said to me, I would never say it to him. And you just beg, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like the older I'm getting, the L word is so intense. You can't just throw that around. It means so much. So much more now. Because, you know, if you ever think about all your exes.

Do you ever think, like, have I actually truly ever... I mean, it's different for you guys because you're in relationships, but before Mike and Graham, like, did you ever think, like, was I ever actually in love or did I just love them? Because you love a lot of people, but how many people have you actually been in love with? This is the... That's the very basis of, like, why I think people should be so nice. Not so nice to their exes, but...

Like, you know how they say never regret something that once made you smile? Like, when I see my exes, I'm always like, you one time. No, at one point they served you. That was really nice. Right? It's sweet. And you're like, never regret something that once made you smile. That actually, like, warmed my heart up for a lot of people I dislike. Yeah, because you're like, at one point you were a lot to me. Yeah. And I liked you. And we had that. That's really sweet. Yeah, you probably had something in common with them. Yeah. And so it's like...

I do think there's a space where it's like it's not healthy to talk to them. Like I do. There's always that like messed up stuff happens, blah, blah, blah. Like there's that. But if it was just like we broke up and moved on and we're both like married now, like you at one point were special. But like, do you think like did you ever think about that? Like pre-Graham or maybe like after you and Graham broke up the first time? Like you're like, did I ever how many times have I actually been in love? You know what I mean?

Maybe not? No. Okay, so I said it to two people, two and a half people, but two. How is there a half person? It was like I never said it, but we were tiptoeing around saying we never said it. There was two people...

No, one person that I said I love you to. And I don't think because I think love takes time and it develops. So it's like I think you could love that person and you're already throwing around the word. But as time goes on, you're like, yes, this is love. OK, now this is love. And you like keep loving them and it gets stronger. But at the point where I said it, yeah, I think I felt love towards them. Yeah. Do you think that?

Oh, I have definitely loved all of my exes, but I always, I try to really think about it. And I'm like, was I ever, have I ever genuinely been in love? That's what I always think. I think about it a lot. Okay. I think immediately, I think if you don't know for sure, it's no. If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Yeah. I think on that one, you know, like. I loved it.

my boyfriend of five years like take I would take a bullet for that kid still to this day like it's like the nicest human being in the world but I always think about it I'm like I don't know if I if we were genuinely in love because like for me I kind of believe like I kind of believe there's like one person for everyone we've already had that conversation but I'm like if I was really in love with him I feel like I would still be with him I don't know maybe that's very narrow-minded but no I don't think it's narrow-minded I think it's I think it's like

I think that's fine. Wait, say it again. Maybe you were in love, but you fell out of love with him. Well, I loved him. Like, I loved him as a person, but I don't know if I was in love with him. Like, I loved being around him, but like, I don't know.

I feel like being in love is just so different than loving someone. Like, I love you guys. I love my parents. I love my friends. But there's nobody I'm in love with. In love is very different. But it gets so much stronger over time, too. Yeah. Like, I think about it now. I'm like, I'm fully 100... Just so in love with Graham, right? But then I think back now that we're talking about these exes, and I'm like, okay...

It was a totally, I'm okay saying, yeah, I think I did probably love him at the time because the love I'm talking about with Graham is like light years different. Yeah. So I'm like, I can't even compare the two, but could I say at the time I did, I love the kid? Probably. Can't eat, can't sleep, shoot for the stars. Is that what it is? Can't eat, can't sleep, shoot for the stars kind of love from Mary Kay and Ashley takes two. Oh, oh wow. I actually never watched those movies. Oh,

You two with the lack of movies. I only have brothers. It was just me out there. So my mom never bought the movies, those kinds of movies. No, in the movie, the one I think was Mary Hitter, Ashley, whatever one was playing the role at the time, she was like asking, I think Diane or whatever, probably getting these people's names wrong, how you know they're the one. And she's like,

can't sleep, can't eat, shoot for the stars kind of love. And I was like, wow, that's really cute. That's probably the kind of love I felt with the first people. The can't eat, can't, those are, that sounds like the can't eat, can't sleep, shoot for the, I mean, that's like the butterfly-y. Is that bad love? No, it's how it starts. So you felt that with the two people? Oh, I felt it with Graham at the beginning. Two people goes away, like I can eat now, you know, like I, I was so confused. I was like, what? No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I think being able to talk about your exes in, like, a positive way is, like, so mature. Isn't it? So we were talking about this the other day. Isn't it crazy how, friends, too, you have these people who are such monumental figures in your life, and then one day they're just gone? Yes. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, like...

One day they're here and they've impacted you so much and then you break up and then one day they're not. The ambiguous loss that you speak of. Yeah. And we never mourn those losses. We have to treat ambiguous losses as real losses, but it's hard for us because in our heads we know they're alive still. Right. An ambiguous loss is just your mourning the death of somebody.

a live person. And that's so, it's so crazy. Like, I'm a cold turkey person. Like, when I break up with someone, they're out of my life immediately. When I end a friendship, they're out of my life immediately. I don't, like, drag it on. Like, I dated someone for five years. We broke up, never spoke again.

Like one day they're here, the next day they're not. Like a real death. Right. Right. Yeah. Also like if somebody, you know, like has dementia or something, it's the same thing. But I think that would be a little easier because that would be like for a reason where if you do it with a relationship or like a person, it's just like differences. Yeah. And it's better to draw that hard line in the sand. I had one because I didn't really know it, but I've heard you talk about it. So I was Googling it this morning. I was like, what is an ambiguous loss? And I've had one.

And I think I've maybe told you this on here, but I read a book where I had to write that person a letter and like say all the things that I was grateful for them for and then say all the things that I was sorry for and all the things I forgave them for. And I have not thought about that person since then. Because you mourned the death. What? What? What? Nothing. No. No, nothing. No. No, wait. What? Put it out if you don't like it. I just got like a sexual text. I'm not going to read it out loud. Oh, okay, okay. From Mike? Yeah. Yeah.

She does not have to read that text aloud. I love the like midday sexy text. You guys, when I'm a girlfriend again, I'm going to be a little freak. Nice. You should be. You should be. Be your freak self, Jordan. Yeah, life is too short not to be a freak. You know how you said that I've helped your sex lives? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm regretting saying it. I wouldn't say you. Thank you. Thank you. We're like the environment of like Mean Girl Pod. But thanks, Jordan. Yeah. You guys, you're making me to become this awesome, really cool girlfriend. Good. It reminds me of John Tucker Must Die.

Like when, when like all the girls come together and they're like giving pieces of themselves to like each other. Like I feel like I'm gonna be like a little freak, but really like, I've always been like a great girlfriend, but I probably was like, I haven't been a girlfriend in so many years. I was like, I feel like it was always kind of like boring, like our sex life. Okay. I feel like it's going to be like a good freaky sex life. When we first started this. Girl. She's a real freaky girl. When we first started this podcast, when I was having sex, I felt awkward, like kind of like, cause

because I was like, oh my God, like I think about or I talk about on this podcast and we're like doing it, blah, blah, blah. Then I got over that hump and it was so fun. Yeah. Because talking about sex should be so normal with your friends. No, you guys, you have no idea. I cannot wait to have sober sex with a guy. Like,

I'm just going to go balls to the walls. Because, like, drunk sex, I'm going to be honest, like, it's never going to be good. No, it's not. It's never going to be good. But when I have sober sex, I mean, like, no alcohol in the system. It is not morning. It's past 3 p.m. No alcohol in the system. That's going to be a great fucking day. Yeah, it's going to be good. So excited. Yeah.

For you, for when it happened. Yay. I just have to figure that out. But Alex, you were telling us about... Yeah, back to what you were saying. You wrote a letter to someone to help maybe get over an ambiguous loss. Who was this person? Was this a boyfriend, a friend? It was a friend. And it's like, when you ask me that, it spurs this thought in my head. Because if I...

I'm wearing a baggy cut off with no bra. She's almost nip slipped like 20 times. I was bold. Yeah, I just like a super bold. Super freaky. The thing is she'll wear that to work.

But since you're married, you can get away with it. Yeah, and everyone's like, oh, she's just wearing a shirt. Like, cute. Yeah, if you do it, they're like, whoa. Literally, they're like, oh my God, but you do it because you're married. They're like, cute. Dress code violation from Jordan. Like, nobody notices that I'm wearing anything. Okay, if I, like, lost a friend...

that died and you asked me who it was, I would be like, oh my gosh, they're my best friend and here's all the things. Like, I would tell you about it. When you asked me about the ambiguous loss, I'm like, it's nothing to report. Like, it's gone. Was it a friend? It was a friend, yes. But I'm like, and that's it. Like, why would I waste my energy telling you? But do you think it's because you warned it so properly?

Like you, you seem like you got closure and you got everything figured out and you didn't leave anything left unsaid because you, even if you didn't send the letter, you wrote a letter. Like I feel like you tied it up in a really nice bow and like put it away. That's true. Before the letter. Okay. So I was reading this book and it made it feel so normal and it just was a chapter in there. Like I wasn't searching for ambiguous loss info at all. And it was just in there. It was like, you probably have a person in your life that you've cut out of your life and maybe you feel some type of way about that. They probably do too. Um,

oh, in the letter you wish them well. I like that. And that's what made it. And after that, seriously, I really took my time and I wrote like a front and back page letter. And I think the biggest part about it was like what I'm sorry for and what I forgive them for. And like since that day, I'm like, I put it to rest. It's buried. Have you done that? No, because I don't like to write. You know that. That would be a pivotal part. Actually, though, I feel like the detail is like ridiculous. Exactly.

I hate writing. Right. No, I would never do that because I'm not writing. I will say, though, lately I have been writing because we went to that wellness event. I had to write there. When it was the Lions Portal, I wrote for that. For therapy, she makes me write. And it definitely does great things for me. I just don't like to do it. But I...

I feel like I might have when I was really mad at an ex, I might have written a letter and then ripped it up or like burned it or something. I think I did. I just, I try to forget.

That part of my life. There's like friend cheating. Yeah. You know, like the same feeling. Like feeling betrayed, kind of. Backstabbed. Like emotional cheating. Yeah. Oh, what you just said was good. Yeah, like the betrayal. Yeah, like, oh yeah, for me, that's like, I'm never going to talk to you again. Yeah. Yeah. Like, do you guys think that it's worse if you were physically or emotionally cheated on? By a, we'll go back to boyfriends or significant others for this one.

okay i thought about this all morning but before we get into that juicy topic let's get into an ad alex please because you know i hate reading out loud doesn't read doesn't write i'm dyslexic no okay i'm leah michelle can't read but yeah but you did yo you were like read you own your only young once is yolo and then i was like that's yo-yo and you stopped me from tweeting it i

I let you have that in the group text. I'm like, I'm going to let it slide. Oh, yeah. At least not. But okay. Who were we? Oh, you're texting Bella, the intern Bella. And then you tweeted it. And I was like, now I have to tell her. Because everyone in the comments was like, who's going to tell her? And I'm like, I'll tell her. I literally was talking about YOLO. And then all of a sudden I was like, you're only young once. I'm like, oh my God, that's the same acronym. And no one responded in the text. And then I tweeted it. And I was like, okay, that's YOLO. And you're like, I'm dyslexic. And I wanted to be like...

L isn't, it's not backwards. It's the letters aren't in there. That's why we love you. I'm so smart, but sometimes I have my moments. That's right. That's better. Oh, oh my gosh. Would you rather be emotionally smart

Or book smart. Emotionally. An EQ is so much more important than an IQ in my book. You think so? One million percent. Mainly because I am not book smart, but I'm very street smart. I feel like, I personally think I have the EQ of a fucking doctor. But my IQ I have of a fourth grader. Like, I can't even do six times four. Right, you can't right now. You don't know it. But I can like, six times four, no seriously. Twenty-four.

32. 20? 28. 6 times 4. 4, 8, 12, 24. 24. 32. 24. 6 times 4 is 24. Yes. Yes. But I can like... I can like...

feel people's emotions and I'm a very aware human being and like I like in an emotional level sometimes life is hard for me because it's like so heightened so you'd rather have that than you would be like I'm book smart I can recall a date I'm a genius yes okay cool what about you um emotional do you know that sorry side tangent um I think I read this somewhere but my therapist said that like

We all have like the ability to be emotionally more intelligent, but the majority of the world chooses not to because it's easier to be unaware than aware. Have you ever experienced going deeper in your emotions? Yes. Wanting to murder yourself? Every day. Yeah. You've seen every guy I've ever liked. Even like challenging yourself though. Yeah. Like if somebody said to you, you want to do the greatest thing you've ever done. I'm like, an ad? Give it to me. Give it to me.

It's a therapy ad now. I literally look at Albie. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Wait, what? You have to finish. You have to tell them. Yeah, please. If somebody said to you, do you want to do the greatest thing you've ever done, but it's going to be hard as fuck, would you still do it? Yes. Yeah, same. I want big things out of life. But I'm emotionally aware. A lot of people, it's so scary. Think about every time you've grown. It hurts so bad. That's true.

It's addicting once you start it. Yeah. I know something must have opened up like all of us when we were very young to it because it like us three are very unique where I mean, I haven't met a lot of people in my life that have that. You know what I mean? Right. It was difficult to get there, though. Very difficult. So I'm wondering, like, what opened that early on?

I was like never satisfied with going. I was always afraid to go 100% and I was like satisfied with 80, but it never felt good enough. Yeah. And so it was always like the pain of not doing it was way worse. Like, like having to live with knowing you wouldn't get uncomfortable was way worse than living with just like doing it. Yeah. I think mine stemmed from my, I, um, I always have this fear of,

dying with regret. And I never wanted to live a life I regretted. And I was always afraid of death. So I am. So I was always worried that I was going to die one day and regret the life I lived. So that was like my goal. Never to like create a life I wasn't going to regret if I were to die the next day. Are you afraid of like death because like life is over? Or are you afraid of how you're going to die? Oh, sorry. Sorry. The ad. Please. Please.

I'm going to spiral. I was just like edging for like five minutes. I'm going to spiral. Do the ad. Okay, the ad. Speaking of getting uncomfortable, I'm so excited because today we're sponsored by the, it's called Live Pure and I trained with Rough and Rowdy for it. And that was a very uncomfortable time. I tried it yesterday. It was really good.

Live Pure? Yeah. The orange drink thing. I think you would hydrate. I'd hydrate. Yeah. I do energize before I work out. It's incredible. It has amino acids, less sugar, less sodium. It's vegan, gluten-free, and it actually tastes good. You put yours in your water bottle and you were like, whoa, this is good. It tasted like an orange dreamsicle. Yes. That's what you said. Yeah. They're so good. So hydrate is for rapid hydration. Energy, it's the, I can't stress this enough about the energy one. It's jitter-free.

That's huge. Don't you love that? I hate when you take a pre-workout and it feels like you have a bunch of needles poking in you. Yes, and you're like, you need to go run to get it out of you. I would literally go to the gym and be like, scraping my head because I hated that feeling. Yeah, this is like natural energy. It's beautiful. Recovery helps ease muscle soreness. I drank that all the time when I was training. They have whey protein and vegan protein. Oh, vegan protein. That's good. Okay, so I have to say this too. Like the quality...

And having quality nutrient products was so crucial when I was training because if I would have something like that, even like coffee while I was training or something just did not feel right. Yeah.

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All right, Alex. So back to physical versus emotional cheating. I know you have been cheated on in your life, but kind of take that aside. Like, would you rather be physically or emotionally cheated on? Okay. Okay. This is, I had to, I had to remember the point that I thought of.

At first, it's immediately emotional, right? Because you're like, I would assume, did everyone think immediately that you would rather be? No, that emotionally cheating is worse. Yes. Okay. Then I was talking to Graham about this this morning. He's like, imagine you come to me and you're like, I slept with another guy. He's like, we're getting divorced. It's over. But if you come to me and you're like, I've been texting another guy. He's like, it's so funny because at that point, I think we have a shot of getting through it. Wait, wait.

Oh my God. That's so valid. If you're honest about it. Yes. If you're like, these are my text messages. This is what I've been doing. And then he'll say, have you kissed him? Have you touched him? And you say, no. He's like, I would think we could get through that. So, wow. You just mind blown me. You mind blown me. I blew you. You blew me. Wow. Oh, I should have mind orgasm. Wow. No, like that's so true. I feel like emotional cheating hurts more, but it's easier to work through. Physical cheating hurts.

hurts less but like you can't work you if yeah if my significant other slept with someone I'd be like fuck off I know but then okay but what now what about this though what if he's like I twisted off like you know what that means like I just like got fucked up when I was in Vegas with the boys I slept with the stripper I felt nothing towards her I've never spoken to her like

What do you think about that? I mean, that as opposed to like, I've been texting for five months, this girl and we texted her high every morning. And I say, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, that would hurt. It would kill me. Yeah. Yeah. So then I'm like, don't destroy me.

That to me would hurt. Maybe it's like, how did you, did you find out on your own or did they tell you? Because I think that's the difference. If they're telling me in any capacity, we got a shot. Yeah. If I find out. If you find out, which one is worse? The emotional, for sure. The thing though, too, that would make, I think would kind of like mind fuck me is like,

With the physical, I would be like, okay, well, why'd you do it? You're missing something, blah, blah, blah. But with emotional, you'd be aware that you're missing something. Like, I would know that

I would put some blame on myself. Like, you obviously are reaching out to this person because there's something in the relationship that I'm not giving you. But with physical, it's kind of blindsiding because I'm like, I had no idea that you... Like, you cheat because you're missing something. Like, you don't... No one just cheats, I don't think, personally. Like, I feel like people cheat because they have a void or they're missing something or they're unhappy. So with me, I'd be like, why'd you do it? And he'd be like, I don't know. I'd be like, no, there is a reason why. I need to know why. Yes. And you know how we were just talking about how...

It's hard to grow, basically. I think it's equally, not equally, but I also think it's hard to say when times get tough or maybe you get a little unfulfilled in like your relationship or your marriage to be like, this is what love is. No one said love would be easy. So during these times, how can I fulfill myself? Instead of taking the easy route, which is like, oh, I'll just cheat or something like that. Being like, how do I say, no, I love this person. This is what love's about. And like,

digging a little deeper. I think it's harder at the moment, but better in the long run. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like, if Graham... When Graham cheated on you, would you have preferred that he had, like, rather just had an emotional relationship with this girl versus just, like, a one-time kiss? No, I think... I actually think it was easier... I just chalked it up. I was like, dude, you're being, like, a complete fuckboy who just thinks they're invincible. Not...

you're not like having in-depth conversations with these people. That would have hurt. Also, wait, also one, this is kind of interesting. One thing Graham said to me, he was like,

I regret how... So some of his friends are starting to get married and they'll have these combos and they'll talk about how they regret being such shitheads in high school or even college and being mean to their girlfriends. Not mean to their girlfriends, but just kind of like they weren't the best boyfriend ever. And he was like, I want to apologize to them. But he talked to his therapist about it and his therapist was like, listen...

apologizing now is kind of like inappropriate but what you can do is pay it forward now and like treat the girl you're with how you wish you would have always treated that person and like channel all that good energy to who you're with now it's like you're sorry about that you like everybody had that phase I don't think that there's anything that they should be sorry about because if they weren't shitheads they wouldn't be the men they are today that's a very good point I I I was treated very poorly when I was in high school but

I don't hate my high school boyfriend for that. I'm glad he did because now he's probably with a girl he's treating with respect. You know, that's a good point. Like most guys were kind of, if they're not assholes, like they're never going to learn. Never going to learn. And if they're really good, then they kind of like have to get it out of their system at some point. And you don't want to be there for when that happens. Y'all got to take one for the team. I mean, I'm sure the guy that I marry one day treated a girl like crap and I'm going to thank her.

For being the punching bag. Because I was the punching bag for somebody else. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there were times I wasn't the best either. And I'm like, now I just get to hold myself accountable for you. Forgot about us. Yeah. We were kind of assholes too. I mean, I got the psycho girl out of my system early on. Did you? Oh, yeah. I was crazy back in the day. Yeah, same. I was like obsessive. Yeah. Sorry. Back to the emotional versus physical.

cheating. I like that, though. That was a good topic. What do you think is worse? Oh, um, I don't know. I don't know if I'd rather be emotionally... I feel like it depends on the situation. Maybe if I was married, I'd rather have it be emotional, but in a...

I thought we discussed this. I thought if we were married, we could work through it if it was emotional. We could, but then there was the other scenario. Listen, whichever one you picked, I was going to say really too. I don't know. I don't know. I've been emotionally cheated on before. I've never been physically cheated on. And the emotional part was too hard for me. But we were only dating. We were in high school, too. So I was like 15. What was he doing? Like texting someone else? Yeah, he was like always texting another girl. And they never hung out, though. Like they never like.

Well, not that I know of, but it hurt. I was like, you're texting another girl when I'm your girlfriend. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, that's hard. But I was also 15. Now, if someone did that to me, I'd be like, goodbye. But then again, I also have an issue with I don't really want to give people second, like, I'm not somebody, like, if someone hurts me, I'm very, it's easy for me to write them off. Well, yeah, cheating is bad.

bad no matter what you do and that will be very hard to like come back from but I think cheating is selfish the most I just I don't understand if you want to break up with someone just do it I don't think these people want to break up with the person that's what I mean that's why it's selfish so it's like oh you're just going to keep them around but then you can't have your cake and eat it too they're trying to like fill a little a little wild hair I think that comes up or a little wandering eye you've heard of a wild hair no wild hair wild hair

That's a lot of money or hair. Well, I actually don't know exactly what it means. Wild hair. You ever get a wild hair? No. Like an errant hair, like a wild pubic hair. No hair. Maybe it's a chin hair. I think it just means you you got a little like, you know, a guy's like, I got to go to Vegas. Like they kind of get a little, you know, something. Sorry. This is just bring up so many things like, no, you know what? What? Wild hairs are why I'm scared of commitment.

Why? Because I'm afraid that if I get into a relationship, I'm going to want those wild hairs are going to pop up all the time. You need to know if it's a hair or a hair. Yeah, I don't know. That's true. Hair or hair? Hair. H-A-R-E or H-A-I-R. Oh, but you know what I mean? Like, that's why I think I am afraid of commitment, though, because I'm afraid that those are going to pop up. OK, I used to be like that.

Then you met the right person and it all went away? No, it was hard, though. It was very hard at the beginning. Like, so he obviously struggled with it and cheated on me. Yeah. He had those wild hairs and then, like, succumbed to them. He let them get the best of them. He had to learn the hard way. I would have them come up, too, and then I was like, okay, I can either work through this or, okay, you know how we had somebody text us the other day and they were like, my ex is flirting with other people.

And I said, do you want her? Like, do you want her? Yes. Like, or are you just, are your ears perked up because other people are getting her? And he's like, I don't want her. Right? So it's like, you have to ask, do you, you want the person that you're with, right? Like, do you really want to go do all this stupid wild stuff? Like, no, I always say structure is the foundation for spontaneity. It's like, you have to have the, like, the structure is being a good person, like,

The structure is ignoring those wild hairs and then doing them like with that person. Like you have to, you have to rechannel the energy. Yeah. And I guess too, hopefully when I get into a relationship, I'll like the person so much where I'll want to do those, like you said, those crazy things with them. I will say this though.

And it's probably, I'm not going to sit here and say, like, you don't ever have wild hairs at the beginning where you're like, I could just go out and be crazy. You know, they do pop up. Yeah. But the person's worth it enough to get through it. And then you realize, you know what you realize? It's so much better if the person's the right person. Being with them and being a good person feels so much better than doing the wild things. Yeah.

I love that because I think a lot of single people assume that they just need to get out of their system. But I don't think it ever actually leaves your system. I feel like the wild hair... It's hair, by the way, as in head of hair. Okay. H-A-I-R. Yeah, H-A-I-R. Like, if it keeps coming back, it's something deeper. Mm-hmm. Like, with the same person. Mm-hmm.

If it keeps coming back and there's some people like we can probably all think of our parents, friends, and there's some guys or some girls and you're like, God, they've just like never gotten it together. Like those relationships exist. And I could think of some. Yeah. And then it's like, I think in people, some, some people might be tormented or tortured with it worse. But I do think, I think when you're in college, right?

When you're right out of college, like we all, we all have those crazy thoughts and like everyone's still twisting off and you're like, I want to be wild. Everyone's kind of crazy. Yeah. And then, and then we're 20s too. Yep. We're at that point too. There comes a time when people start to grow up, like the saying grow up or life will pass you by. Like you start, you have to start like arriving to the party a bit, you know, and it does come with time. You're right. I agree with that completely. And you have to, you have to succumb to it sometimes from the early days. It's natural or you'll do it later. Yeah. You don't want that.

But I wasn't meaning like, by wild hair, I wasn't meaning like, break up, go hook up with somebody. You meant like that itch to like, go out and party really hard. Yes. But I guess it comes in different ways. Yeah. Graham's wild hair was obviously, go make out with somebody. Yeah, my wild hair was like, literally fall in love with a Coke dealer. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes you have to do that to know that you don't want to do it anymore. You gotta do it once. Yeah. And sometimes wild hairs prevent you from wanting to commit and have a relationship. They do. Yeah. But we have to go through all of it.

One of my friends was talking about like a hard time her sister was going through and I was like, you got to just go. The only way out is through. Like you have to go through it. And it's all about finding the right person to go through it with. Yes. One day it'll be worth it. Wow. You guys always get me thinking. Same. Well, on that note, should we end with our, we have a new little tip for men. Oh, yeah. We were talking about this earlier. Girls too. This works for girls too. A little bit different rules.

But just as good, probably. Just as good. The way to get to a girl is how? Through her best friend. Yeah, so... But you have to be very, very strategic about it because...

We never want, like it were, it should be through your married best friend. Yes. And let me clarify this as well. Stop DMing me about Jordan. That's not what we're talking about. I was like, I can see the DMs are piling up. Oh my God, they're rolling in. Hey Alex, how are you? And I'm like, can you say what that person said the other day though? They're like, well to get to Jordan.

Can we say that? Like to get to Jordan, I would just talk to you. Oh yeah. I was, I was talking to a guy at work and he was using it for himself, but he's like, I mean, it's so obvious, Alex, if I wanted to hook up with Jordan, I would just like be your best friend. Yeah. I was like, wait, what? Oh yeah. That is the obvious way to do it. But if you were single, it wouldn't work because we would just assume that he liked you. And then that would be an issue. I feel like though, if roles are reversed,

If I'm trying to get, like, when I like a guy, I always become very close with their best guy friend because I feel like if your best guy friend likes a girl, you're all in. Yes. But I don't feel like that guy needs to be taken. It just needs, like, because with guys, no, like, if their guy friend likes a girl, like, that's.

That's him. I just assume that they know. But I feel like for girls, you just can't go through the single friend. You can't because then they'll think you like her. Yeah, yeah. It's just not an option. And then if there's two single friends, one of them will call dibs on you and it's just like a whole mess. Yeah. But if one's married, absolutely approach her and get her blessing. Yeah. And then she'll start talking you up and then it's smooth sailing. And with the guys too, if the guy friends like you,

You have got it made. Because when times get tough, the guy friends aren't going against you. They're going for you. The biggest tip I can say is if you want an in with the guy you like, you've got to find a way to hang out with him and his friends and show them a good time. Because if you show a guy you like and their friends a good time, it's game over. Then they know that. You know why that's game over? Because then they don't have to sacrifice guy time. They can bring you to guy time. Exactly. And I feel like a lot of guys...

think girls are boring, but it's like, we're not. They think, I think they, yeah, I think, okay, or maybe they initially don't know and you have like one shot and then if you show them you're fun, they're like, holy shit, she's actually fun. Yeah. Like, I know it's the craziest thing. I have a personality. I know, a weirder girl can be fun, crazy. But yeah, I guess the biggest way through to either or, like a guy or a girl, is through their friend's hearts.

If they're married. If they're married or taken. Yeah. If they're single, we have inter-unchartered waters. But taken is iffy because if a guy was being married to Alana, it'd be kind of like, bro, she has a boyfriend. It'd be weird. But since you're married, it's different. It is different. And I have a very large stance on having guy friends. Like,

Back in the day, Graham used to bother him if I had guy friends, but that was because of his own insecurities. Now we're, like, way past that, and I'm like, please have girlfriends and I can have guy friends. Yeah. So I'm like, come one, come all. If, like, the day I start dating, if you guys don't approve, like... God, that'd make me not like someone. Yeah, I mean, like, if I... Absolutely. If I brought a guy home... If you brought a guy home to my apartment... If I brought a guy home to Alex and Graham's, and they... No, like, literally, if we, like, had a double date, and he left...

and you and Graham were like, we don't like him, I would never see him again. Like, I don't know. Like, your guys' opinions mean so much. And I know you guys are good eggs. So I'd be like, wow, if they don't like him. Both! Like, it'd be one thing if one was a little iffy and the other was like, I love him. But if you guys were both like, Jordan, he's a bad seed. We're not a fan. I'd be like, done. Like, I remember one time you told me that you and Graham liked this guy that I thought was cute. And I was like,

Maybe like a little more. Really? Yeah. It's almost more important maybe like the first friend double date than like your first dates. Yeah. Like your, your, I don't know what married friends approvals are huge. And guy code, like you bringing a guy to meet, to see how he does with another guy and like a dinner setting. Yeah. Very important. Like single friends love them, but their approval isn't as strong team because like they're

They're fucked up like me. We're still single. But like when you're married and you don't like a guy that you're single friends dating, I feel like it's it's not petty. Like it's truly like protective. That's so true. What do we have to lose? That's a good point. Because sometimes single friends might be like, I don't like him because like deep down I want you to be single with me. But like, what do you guys have to lose if I date a guy or not? Simply your best interest in mind. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. All right. So get a married friend right now.

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for better lasting sex, I would say that's a no fricking brainer. Okay. Let's get back into it. Um, AB do what you do best. Um, like comment, follow us on Instagram, Tik TOK, Twitter, Facebook, and subscribe to the YouTube page. Watch our vlogs on Thursday. Oh, this, this last week's vlog is going to be fun. Um, in the week coming up, cause we haven't had the wedding. Oh, we didn't even talk about, and we have new lips.

Oh my gosh, the lips are in the... Wait. Show the lips, Lana. You guys look so, so good. Thank you. I was legitimately rattled at first. I know you were. I love it now. I was shaking. I know, I felt like you were like my baby. Oh shit, really? It was like that. I felt like I fucked up.

Now I can't. But now I'm so like, I love it. You look great. Yeah, I can't imagine you guys without them. Me neither. This girl did a very, like a very good job. Nurse Tara. Nurse Tara. She's fucking incredible. Like, I will go back. She's going to do my whole face. Be real? No kidding. Oh, jeez. I never got it. Almost like a joke. Are you sure? You guys, I never got to be real. What the heck? Sorry, Jordan. What? What?

Is B-Real different times? No. For some people. I don't know. Maybe like you have bad Wi-Fi right now. Yeah, like mine didn't even take and I just took it. But yeah, it was awesome. She was great and I definitely will be going back and maybe even getting more next time. I love that. A little bit more. Go big or go home. Happy Monday. Have a great week. We love you guys and we will see you next week.