Relationship Roles & Role Play 52:42

I'm getting heated. We're getting off the rails here. Freak it out. The title of this episode is Fuck You, Mom. You screwed up all the boys. Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I'm Alex today. Wow, and I'm Jordan because we've swabbed hair. I still can't get over looking at you. Why do I look younger? Why did I just... Why? You look younger. I look older. You look older. You look 29 now in a good way. Yeah.

I'm 29, so I don't hate on that age. I wasn't going to, but it's two years older than me, so... No, you just look, like, mature, and your hair looks fresh, and the color... Like, you have a good face. I can see your face so much more now. Yeah, that was the problem with long hair, is it really weighed on me, and it was just hiding so much of my face.

Like when I got it done yesterday, the first thing I said was, I look so mature. And he was like, ah, no, I'm like, no, I like that. I look mature. Yeah. We want to grow up. Yeah. Growing up is cool. But it freaks me out because you look like you're so young. I don't know what I don't know what happened. I feel like I just went back to college. You look like a sorority president. Yes. Yes. I'm like, oh, here we are. Also, I've never met someone in my entire life who changes so drastically with their hairstyles.

Yeah, it's bad. I will method act with the according hairstyle. Like does Graham get freaked out?

But he married this version of you. Yes. Graham likes long hair. Okay. When I cut my hair short, though, he was like, wow, I love the short hair. But typically, Graham's a long hair person, so this works. But, yeah, hair's interesting because it's, I think, okay, so I think it's the largest change you can possibly make. If you do it drastically enough. Not a trim, but a color or a cut. 100%. I was blonde for two years. Yeah.

And you look like a completely different person if you change it. Whole different personality. Like your, your whole vibe changes with your hair too. Yeah. It's funny. Yeah. Yours looks so good though. Thank you. I love yours. Thank you. It just freaks me out. Cause this is how I met Alex.

And I feel like we became friends when you had short hair. And we started the podcast when you had short hair. So much happened. We started the podcast like the two days after I cut my hair. Yeah. Now you have long hair. It's like, hi, nice to meet you. Yeah, I know. I know everyone today will accept the guys. That's what I love about boys. Some of the guys who were like verbatim.

Billy football in the kitchen. Why are you dressed up today? I said, technically I'm not, I'm in biker shorts and a tank top. And he's like, but you look different. And I'm like, give me your best guess. And he's like lipstick. Oh no, no, no. Like 12 inches of hair. But guys, that's what I love about guys. Yeah. They don't, they don't even know. No, not one person has noticed my hair, but it's also because I feel like when you have Brown hair, it's harder to notice too. It's so true. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Your, to me is so obvious. Um,

from a female's eyes also though you've been wearing your hair up a lot that's what i was gonna say too with you too since with rough and rowdy you were getting your hair's always in french braids that maybe people just they saw in those short braids and they assumed that was the length they're like okay yeah no it's true all right you guys before we get into this episode i have this massive question for alex bennett what so now the rough and rowdy's done you were not drinking for what two three weeks a month a month um

Are you going to be drinking again? And what's going to be your drink of choice if you decide to? Well, I, yes, I'm going to be drinking again and I'm going straight for the vodka, which will be AKA Pink Whitney, my beloved sponsor at Rough and Rowdy. Give it a little clap, a little clap.

And it's, you know what? It's shoot your shot summer. Go to the bar, buy a shot for somebody. But also we're taking, we're taking shoot your shot right into fall. Hell yeah. It's shoot your shot season, baby. I've been putting on all my friends to Pink Whitney. Like every time I'm around somebody, I'm like, we got to get Pink Whitney shots. We got to drink Pink Whitney and everyone loves it. They love it. Keep tagging us in your Insta stories. Keep taking Pink Whitney shots. We're going to be doing it. We're going to just change shoot your shot summer or no, shot girl summer to shot girl fall. Roll right into it. Yeah. Pink.

Whitney's not going anywhere. We're going to be shooting shots. We're going to be taking shots and shooting shots all year round, baby. Are we grounded for not shooting our shot? I did. I shot my shot. Okay, well, what was it? Well, I have two, but I can't say one. I talked to a boy that I like, okay? Okay. Very cute. Yeah, but my shooting my shot was I cut my hair off. Yeah, that's good. I love that.

my shoot your shot reverse I'm not allowing myself to go to the gym and that's been nice how do you thank you amazing yeah this is what it is it's post rough and rowdy because that was kind of a sprint for us it was a time of our lives that wasn't that was a tornado and it was a beautiful tornado that turned into a rainbow yes oh it did have a rainbow afterwards yeah

And now we're like back. Football season's going to start. Football season at Barstool is the equivalent of like school starting because everyone's back in the office. Yeah. We truly do school like we do football and then we do summer. Yeah. No, we truly are like a school year. Yeah. And so we're about to go back to school. Yeah. Speaking of Ruff and Rowdy though, since that was so much of your life, how are you feeling now that it's over? I have to be honest, like I'm struggling. Yeah. Talk us through that. I... Okay. So you know how you put...

You know how you put all of your eggs in one basket in life? Yeah. And you have something that gives you so much purpose. Maybe you're about to get married or maybe your kids are about to leave for college. But all of your life, like you were a mom or all of your life, you were in high school. For me, the past two months, I put every single thing into Rough and Rowdy and it was who I was. Like it gave me purpose. Yeah.

But I have to tell you this. I knew I wanted to do it, and I knew I wanted to challenge myself. But it wasn't until Thursday night before the fight that I figured out why it was. Oh. Isn't that weird? I didn't think you told me this. I didn't. I didn't tell you yet. Okay. Okay. So growing up, I always wanted to be tough in a way.

And I never felt like I was like worthy of having grit because I didn't have that story. Like, you know, I didn't grow up with my dad incarcerated. My parents never struggled to put food on the table. So I guess you call it hashtag blessed, right? So...

I would talk to my therapist and I'd be like, I'm going to get in this ring. And like, when it gets tough, do I have what it takes? And like, that's what I wanted to find out about myself was that I was tough enough to do it. And she was like, grit isn't, doesn't care about the circumstance. Like just because you,

you were born into a family that, you know, was blessed doesn't mean that you don't get to possess the feelings of grit. And she said, grit is facing every single feeling that makes you uncomfortable, but all of them. So including this one and going like 100%. And I was like, that's what I want to be able to do when I get in this ring is prove to myself that I have grit. But I never thought for 29 years, like I never thought I was worthy as the person that was like from the other side of the tracks. Yeah. But it never mattered. No, I, I'm,

I wish you would have said something to me on Thursday because that's so impactful, but I'm glad you didn't because I feel like you figured it out on your own, which you needed to do. But that's so true because I think with anything like grit or trauma or this or that, people feel like they need to go through something specific to earn that. And it's not true. Like through therapy, I always felt like I didn't deserve to go to therapy because I didn't have that trauma that you need to go. That's it, yeah. And my therapist used to always say, like, trauma does not, like, what's the word I'm looking for? It doesn't, um...

Discriminate? Yes. It doesn't discriminate. Like if you even were called stupid in high school or in middle school back then, I think that's trauma. Anything that affects you negatively is trauma. It's a massive scale. And same with grit. It's a massive scale. Like you don't have to go through something specific to earn that

or feeling. Right. Like how you, I guess that that's good. It sort of means like your feelings. And I know everyone always says this, but your feelings are valid. Yeah. Like I would watch Mike Tyson's documentary and like his dad had died and his mom and all of these things happen. And I'm like, that's why he's tough. Like he did something that made him tough, but it's like, maybe you don't have that.

So it's like I wanted to box to make sure I was tough. And it's like, you can just be tough. You are hella tough. Thank you. But you know what? I kept being like, why am I doing this? And then it was Thursday night. I was reading my notes and I'm like, I'm doing it because I want to prove myself this. But I could have had it forever. It sounds like you had imposter syndrome the whole time you were training for Rough and Rowdy until the Thursday before. I still...

have it you really kind of okay do you this is what i did learn on imposter syndrome yeah because friday morning i was like you got to figure it out like we had a rough and rowdy yes okay i woke up the day of the fight and i'm like you got to figure it out and i'm like how do i win this fight the only way i could win it was confidence

And I had to power through the imposter syndrome. And I literally had to look in the mirror and be like, you are a boxer that can beat her. Like, you are better only if you believe you're better. So, like, the only person that could make or break myself was me. Like, don't you feel like that's imposter syndrome is, like, lacking literal confidence? Yeah, or just...

deciding in your head that you don't deserve something because you aren't good enough to deserve it. Does that ever happen to you with this job? That happens to me in every aspect of life. I've had imposter syndrome my whole life, mainly as soon as I graduated college, like old job and this job. Why? Why when you graduated? Like, what was it? I don't know. I just always I never thought I was good enough.

to be in the roles that I was in, to get that promotion, to have this job, to be paid this amount, to start a barstool, to have a podcast, to have a platform. I just had never associated myself with being good enough. I feel like I never earned it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I always wondered if we had the top of the top on here, Steve Jobs, if he was alive. And we were like, did you ever feel like you deserved it?

I feel like nobody actually thinks they do. It's just the ones that are like, you know what? I'm going to power through this. Because if none of us thought we could do it, nobody would do it. So some people showed up and they were like, I'm going to get some confidence. And I think you and I are doing that more and more. Being like, we can provide value. But it's so crazy to be like, the only difference is if I just had a little bit of confidence, I could do so much more. Yeah, I feel like imposter syndrome too, for me, it comes from...

since I don't have like I don't check these boxes I don't deserve it like I didn't go to an Ivy League school I didn't get straight A so why do I deserve that really good corporate job with that high paying salary but it's like

made up these rules once again that you need to check these boxes to earn this role. Right. Like, you got there for a reason. No one just picked you off randomly from the street and was like, you, you today will be working at Barstool. Yes. And you know what else I'm realizing, too, is like, it's never going to be easy. No, nothing good is ever easy. Not, I'm like, it's, okay, so it's going to be a little harder than we all thought. Yeah.

Yeah. But the thing that keeps me going, and let me know if you think this too, but we talk a lot about intention. But like if I'm doing anything and I'm doing it superficially, I can have no confidence. But if I'm doing it with a sense of like depth and authenticity, then I can find, I can channel that inner confidence. Yeah. If you...

You trained through rough and rowdy, and everything came easy to you, and you were just like, yeah, it's so easy, blah, blah, blah, and you want to be like, all right, Alex, cool. But I saw you work your butt off. I saw you start from the bottom, go to the top. I saw you cry. I saw you get hit in the nose and bleed. You had anxiety. Like, I saw you through everything where you truly deserved to win and to be a boxer. Like, you went through it all. Yeah, that's actually funny to say because...

I guess now I'm thinking why did, why I didn't do it for the money. I didn't do it for anything other than I was seriously trying to tell myself if I could, I was trying to find grit the whole time. So if I was doing it because I wanted money and I got punched in the face, I don't think you can power through that.

No, no, no, no. I think you have to be like, why am I doing it? Like, why... I think it boils down to, like, people's jobs, too. You have to say, like, why do you do what you do? Yeah. And then I think you can get rid of imposter syndrome if you're like, I do it because I love it. Yeah. Also, too, like, with Rough and Rowdy and through a lot of things in life, like...

you kind of lost an identity and your purpose because that was your purpose for so long. Because I think about that all the time. Something I try to teach myself is never have all your eggs in one basket because I always think, like, if that was removed, what would you do with your life? And I always think, like, if I lost Mean Girl Pod tomorrow, I would be a mess because I have a lot of eggs, but that's, like, my biggest egg. You know what I mean? And it's something that truly makes me panic because it's a scary thought to have everything –

in one all your eggs in one basket so with rough and rowdy I feel like that was your biggest egg for the past two months and now it's

gone in a way yeah you you had paralleled it to somebody that broke up with like a boyfriend yeah and I would think about it like if you lived with them yeah and then like you moved out and you woke up one day and you were like it was all I knew yeah well like in the Midwest I'll change the story up a little bit but if in the Midwest people their whole life is their relationship and if you're married to someone and you're that's everything like blood sweat and tears of that relationship and you get divorced one day out of the blue they're like I don't want to be with you anymore and

you're going to start panicking because you're going to be like, I don't, I don't have friends anymore. I don't have a career. I love like you were my everything. But for all you know, that other person could have been having so many other things in their life that fulfilled them. Yes. Entirely. Yeah. Now I'm asking myself, I'm like, what do you want to, what do you want to do? Who do you want to be? Yeah. And I'm like, I just, I reading and that's all I know to do. You know, like I'm not allowing myself to go to the gym. I'm like, you have to, you, the boat, the boat was steady. The boat's rocked. And now I'm like, we have to study it again. Yeah. It's just crazy. Cause it's like,

That's going to happen throughout our entire life. Like, you think it will end after high school and then college. And then once you get your full job or once you get married, you think it's going to end. It's like, no. If you're doing life right, it's never going to end. Because you're going to be challenging yourself and doing these crazy big things throughout your entire life that most likely won't last your entire life. No, never. No, we're full of changes here. But we've been talking. And I think...

This is helping you create some really cool ideas for Mean Girl Pod for the future. Yes, I am excited about that. Yeah. I'm excited too. And we won't tease you guys. We will tell you eventually. Yes, we will. The brain's getting afloat. Flooded with good ideas. Flooded. Yeah, that's the word. Afloat. Getting a period flow. Oh, speaking of that, have you got your period? Dude, no. No.

And it's not because she's pregnant. Everyone's like, oh, we're going to do the announcement. No, guys, I have a highly irregular period. I took my wedding diet too seriously. And my body's been messed up ever since. But it's funny because it's not funny. It's serious. No part of it's funny. What happens is Alex will be like, I'm getting my period on the 19th. But it's always like two weeks after. But you go through all of those horrible period symptoms for those next two weeks. And it gets worse every day. It's kind of like after I took Plan B,

From that point on until I got my period, I was a wreck. It's horrible. It's awful for these bodies. I'm like, God, here we are. Oh, God. I have a question for you. What? That's the only way I know how to transition sometimes. And I'm going to do it in every episode. Yeah, you are. Okay. So now that... So a lot of change has been happening in your life. You're not doing rough and rowdy. You're not boxing. So you have a little bit more time on your hands. Graham is working full time. So he has more time on his hands.

How is that? What's going on in the marriage category? Well, Graham wants to fight me. Not really. Graham wants to do R&R 19 against me. I would pay big bucks for that. Yeah, me too. Okay, we know he didn't give me a birthday present because I didn't want one. I'm still shocked by that. Me too.

Shocked. Okay, we'll let it fly. So he's like, I'm going to get you something for rough and rowdy, like afterwards. And I'm like, you don't have to, but that would be nice. And he's like, okay, doesn't happen. So I have a story for you. Oh boy. So I go and get these extensions yesterday and I come back.

And he's like, huh, looks like the credit card charge comes through. And he's like, well, how long are those going to last? And I'm like, it's my present to myself for boxing. Because you were going to give me one and then you didn't. So then I got myself one. And he was like, well, okay. Yeah, I guess that works. And I was like, you said you were going to give me a present. Why didn't you give me a present? He's like, you said that I didn't have to. And I'm like, okay, fine.

When a girl says that you don't have to, like, what am I going to say? Yes, please give me the present. No, I'm just going to say you don't have to, but you should go ahead and get it. Graham Bennett. I know. I'm like, come on, give it like, and I don't want to be like, I want something. It's okay if you do, but it would be nice. It's like the same thing as flowers. Like you don't,

I don't want the flowers once I ask you for the flowers because it's the intention. Yeah. You don't want the physical present. You want him to thought to want to get you a present. Does he listen to this podcast? I don't get why they don't understand that. They don't get it. It's all about the intention of a gift. Yes. Yeah. You think that they would learn by now? I mean, we've been doing this for years. Ladies have been pulling this trick for years.

I guess when I say to him, well, I don't even tell him when I'm going to get him a present. I just get it. Yeah. Because I don't even want to go through the combo of like, would you or would you not? We actually got home from Rough and Rowdy and there was like a box and he opened it up and it was like this pink cause piece of art. And it was bright pink. And so I thought, oh, that's my present. And he said, these words came out of his mouth. He's like, can you believe I got it? I was like, what?

He's like, this is such a cool piece of art. And like goes and sets it on the coffee table and walks off. And I'm like, okay, I have a story for you. Okay, what? It's not that crazy of a story. But when we were road tripping to Rough and Rowdy and we all went to the gas station, you were in the bathroom, I believe. And I went up to Graham and I go, Graham, we need to get Alex a gift for when she wins Rough and Rowdy. What are we going to do? And he was like, no. No?

And I was like, should we get her champagne or something? And he was like, no, we'll plan something, get something when it's all over. Where is it, Graham? We won't. We will not be doing that.

He just, like... Now that I think of it, he was so unfazed. I was like... He, like, shut you down, actually. I know. I was like, we need to get her a gift. And he's like, no. And it doesn't... It's not ill. It's definitely not ill. Like, it's the far... No. I'm like, it just doesn't... Because Graham is the nicest human being in the world. He's so sweet. I'm like, so you're telling me, truly, it doesn't register. And it truly doesn't. Like, he...

I bought enough bananas. I bought five bananas and five yogurts for my week. Oh, God. And then he would eat them. Sounds like when I lived with my boyfriend. You're like, those are my yogurts. And then you want to know what he says?

We share everything. No, we don't. We do until we don't. He goes, what's yours is mine. No, no, no, no, no. What's yours is mine, but what mine is not yours, honey. Correct. I'm like, you don't. That's not a fair statement. No. They don't get it. And also the food. Don't touch my food.

do not touch. But, okay, but would you touch his? Yes! Same. But they buy fun food. I'm really bad about that. I'm like, I would touch his food, but he wouldn't touch my food. But that's because guys buy, like, fun food that has, like, so much. Like, girls buy, like, individual portions. Guys buy, like, bags of chips, and, like, girls buy, like, one yogurt. Like, that yogurt's for Monday. And they're like, I don't know why

wanted. And no, it never fails when there's only one left. I'm like, so you had no problem taking the last one and not like alerting the troops? No. When they take the last of the liquid...

Oh, that drives me up a wall. You just kept the carton in the fridge empty. Put it back in there. This is why I can't live with the significant other. It is like it is no matter how old the boy is. I do feel like there's just a child. Yeah, he makes yogurt or he makes overnight oats in mason jars. And we've been putting the dirty mason jars back in the refrigerator. Honest to God. I think one he will reuse them.

Or two, I think he just thinks it's easier than leaving the dish out. Like, I won't notice if he puts it back in the refrigerator. The man has been putting the dirty. Empty. Don't you have a dishwasher? Yes, he's been putting them back in the fridge. Here are their crusted oats on the side of it. You have to let oats soak for like 20 minutes before you wash. Why are men okay with accepting that for themselves? For the filth? Do you know what I mean? They're okay with accepting to live in filth.

Just do dirty things. Yes, and that's the problem. When I walk in the kitchen and it's dirty, he doesn't think I'm going to clean it. He just truly doesn't care. Right. That's my line all the time. Why is this level acceptable for you? This level of cleanliness. Do you want to know why? Why are you okay with accepting that? Do you want to know why? Why? Because they had someone their whole life do it for them. We've got to break that cycle. Yes, mom would do it for them. Yes, literally. That's my brother.

I fucking hate when I see my mom letting my brothers get away with stuff. Dude, I learned how to do laundry when I was like two years old. My brother still doesn't know how to do laundry and he's 29. I, okay, speaking of laundry, I have a question. Yes. I'm getting heated. We're getting off the rails here. Freaking out. The title of this episode is Fuck You, Mom. You Screwed Up All the Boys.

Content Kim is not going to be happy with that. She's not going to like that one. She did it to my brother. If the person in the relationship is chief of laundry, which would be Graham in this scenario. He's head of laundry. He's good at it. He doesn't mind doing it. I'm not going to do it. But there are weeks where the laundry bin starts to overflow. Do I have the right to say anything to him or do I just have to say...

All good. I have a question. What? So do you guys have specific roles? Like, if he does laundry, do you always cook type of role? Yes. So...

In my past relationship, I was the cleaner, he was the cooker. Okay. So if the food, like if we wanted to eat, I would always be like, hey, are you going to eat? But like for laundry, I did that as well. And if he was like, hey, are you going to do that? It didn't bother me because I knew he was going to do that. But if he like out of pocket was like, hey, are you going to grow shop? I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Buddy, that is not my role, honey. You do the cooking and I do the cleaning, which laundry is in that subcategory. Okay.

Okay, so wait. So yes or no, I have the right to say something. So Laundrie's his role and he hasn't touched it? Yeah, and I know he will, but let's say it was overflowing. Are you fulfilling your role every day? Yes. 100% say something. Okay, but now there are days I miss.

Like I'm human. If I leave late, the bed's not made and maybe the kitchen's not clean. Oh. And I'm on a pinch. Yeah, that's true. Would it make you mad if he said something to you and was like, Alex, can you do that? Or would you be like, why didn't you just do it then? Okay, I guess if it happened like twice in a row and he'd be like, maybe the wording would be, I know you always do it.

And it's your role. I'm just saying. Yeah. Could you pick it up a little bit? Well, it depends like how overflowing are we talking about? Like it's one thing if it's like full, but if clothes like falling out, I would be like, bro. Go to the laundry. Like, bro, what are you? But also it's hard because he's a working man now. I know. It's a huge reality shift when you start working because you're like, wait, I have no more time to like do chores. Correct. Correct.

And for a while, I... Correct. Correct. When he was just a student, he would student from home, and I took full advantage of him and made him do all the chores. Can I say something? Yes. I feel like, and this is a good lesson for anyone, boy, girl, doesn't matter if this could be any situation, but I feel like that must be a very hard transition from going with someone who didn't have a full-time job to a full-time job because your entire relationship rules is going to change. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Because, okay, when we first got married, the best advice I got was what you do at the beginning, you will do at the end. Yeah. So you start doing the dishes, they're going to get used to you doing the dishes. That can happen forever. Totally. Yeah. So we kind of got into that because when Graham and I first got married, we had two totally different corporate jobs. Then we both quit those jobs. COVID hit. We were both at home constantly doing chores. Then I start coming to work here, but he's a student at home. He did everything. Cooked, cleaned, all of it.

And then when he went back to work, it was like, oh my God, I was so spoiled. Yeah. He stopped. He totally stopped doing everything. But I was like, I don't have the right anymore to be like, yo, can you? Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard. Like, I feel like you guys are just going to sit down and talk about the new role. You're going to have to have new roles assigned to you guys. Yes, totally. But also it's not an excuse either for Graham. Like, everyone else still has a job and gets their roles done. But we need to give him a little bit of a grace period because it's a hard adjustment. I remember my first corporate job, I was like, I don't even have time to grocery shop. What do people come to?

clean? When do people do that? And now it's like, I know every Sunday I need to do X, Y, and Z every Monday night. You know what I mean? Remember when the weekends were so fun and now it's like, I need, I need that Sunday to do any, to, to possibly function as like an adult, to not sacrifice Monday. I need Sunday. You know, what's really sad. What? It's like, you know, you're getting older when you're, when you beg for your weekends to be empty with

Nothing. Because your to-do list is so long that if you don't complete it, you're going to freak out. And you actually want to return that pile. Yeah. You know? Oh, after Ruff and Rowdy, I returned a pile and it felt great. Yeah. Why were you shopping before Ruff and Rowdy? What were you? I was stressed. Okay. Are you a stress shopper? Yes. I'm either a stress eater or a stress shopper. And so if I, it goes back and forth. I'll either eat the kitchen or I'll spend the bank account.

And lately I've been trying to eat healthier. So I've been spending money up the wazoo. Shopping a lot, but you went and returned it. I did. Because I have a rough variety. I was like, nothing even looks cute. These are ugly. My God, I tried to return stuff to Aritzia yesterday. 10 day return policy. I had no idea. What? And the way she told me was like so fucking rude. Like I was trying to return something from last season. She was like-

She said my name too. She's like, oh my God, Alana, I'm so sorry. We have a 10-day return policy. It's been 21 days or something. Okay, it needs to be 30. It needs to be 30. 22 days ago. Actually, it needs to be like 60. Come on. Then I was like, can I get a store credit? She's like, I couldn't believe this, actually. I'm like... She's like, 21 days is our store credit policy. It's been 22 days. Can you fucking believe...

She's like, then I start being like, girl, like that's crazy. She was like, if you, if you exchange something right now, I'll let you do an exchange in the store. I don't want any of your stupid clothes at this store. Everything's overpriced and not that cute.

Override it. Oh, it's one day. Override it. 10-day return policy for your money back. Dude, I'd flip shit. Isn't that outrageous? Yeah. I'm so over Ritzia. They suck. I've only bought one thing from there and I won't. They're closed not that cute, overpriced, not great quality. Yeah. And their clerks are rude. Yeah, the 10's a little much. We have 14. Yeah, who do you guys think you are? My favorite thing about us three is watching each of us go on a tangent because they're all so different. Yeah.

Our tangent process is so different and like what we go on tangents about. Like Alana's like, or Red Seeker's like bananas. Mine's like, someone didn't check this off the to-do list. We're so different, but it's hilarious. It kills me, but I would be livid, Alana. So rude. And you have every right to your emotions. Thank you. Your emotions are valid. Don't forget that. You're welcome.

Fuck em. Fuck em. Moms and Aritzia. Those are on the hit list of the day. Own your emotions. Own em. Own it. Own it. Own it.

okay do you think like when you see it speaking like speaking of graham starting to work when you see like a guy in his this would be this would be a question for you because i know i just did stop laughing it doesn't apply to me but yeah wait is graham wearing a suit it does apply to you oh that's true yeah like what's he wait ask the question when you start to see a guy in his work environment do you find that attractive or are you just like okay anyways

like it depends on the work environment i think it's isn't crazy how like a job can make or break a person i can't have this conversation you have to have it it's a good thought what's the problem that i feel like we're hitting a nerve no he's gonna cramp in my stomach um no it's amazing because it's so crazy how a job can shape a human being like even from for us for example like

I've had people say, oh, once I saw you in a clip, I found you attractive. Because it's like you're in your place of work doing business, you know what I mean? So if you just meet a regular Joe Schmo on the street, but then you realize they work in finance and you see them all dressed up, you're like,

damn, like you clean up nicely. Or it's kind of like a guy and a girl are best friends and the guy sees the girl dress up for the first time and like maybe she's at like, she's presenting at a work function. She's all dressed up. They're like, damn, her and her environment. She looks hot in her environment.

Yeah, it's funny. Like we, it's so funny. Girls are always like, we're girl bosses. But it's like when I see a guy in a suit or a guy in his work environment or owning his craft, I find it so hot because I'm like, that's them dominating. And then I'm like in the bedroom. I feel like we all want the same thing. We're like, just be alpha. And it's like, what? Dude.

And we're like, no, we're alpha. And then it's like, no, you go ahead. You be alpha. There's nothing hotter than seeing a man at it, like getting his shit done. Like in the world. You know what I mean? Like, is it like, do you find it hot when you see like Mike just like editing? Maybe not. Yeah.

I would. I feel like I would if I was dating a producer and I was like watching them create something. I'd be like, damn, that's hot. I'm just imagining Mike at his computer and I'm like, take your shirt off. Or like Graham. I remember in different ways, not the editing part. That's really funny that you said that. Do you think I look hot when I edit?

at it with a humpback. Yes. No, I think it's the other things. It's more like. It's having the opinion. It's when you have like your opinion. Yeah. I remember like in my old corporate job, I would see guys like run business meetings and I was like, damn, I never thought you were hot until I saw you. Commanding a room on Wednesday. Yes. Or like picking the restaurant or when a guy like taking charge. Yeah. Even being like, I'll get the door for you. I'll call your Uber. All things like

that. It's like, okay, do you feel like though a guy is his job? Like they, okay, take a doctor, take a trainer. For example, if you met, if you met one guy at a bar, he's dressed in normal clothes and then you say, what do you do? And he says, doctor, did your opinion just change of him? Yeah, a hundred percent. Like, I feel like we all try to be like, we're not our jobs, but as soon as you find out what someone does, your whole perception of them changes. You get all these like

ideas of them. You just assume these things about them based off their job. Like the job changes everything. Like I'm be honest, I see another Joe Schmo on the street and he is the CEO of a startup. I'm going to be like, I need to talk to you all night long.

Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah. So the job to you, maybe we don't know if they are their job, but it does make like a massive difference to you in how you view them. Yeah. Being your job is more of like. It's another combo. It's like, it's a personality trait. Totally. Especially jobs that fulfill you. Like, I feel like our, one of our large personality traits is our job. That's because we're, have you heard of Dharma? No. Like doing, taking your special talent and using it to change the world. Oh, I love that.

Alex's quote of the day. Then I said it too. I don't even try. I just go, I love that. Wait, I love that. Oh my God. It's so funny. Like no one even notices too. It's like clockwork. Sorry.

Dharma. But if you're using your Dharma and it's your job, you are that person. Like we, we want to be associated as people that work at Barstool and have the mean girl podcast because we're proud of it. So proud. We're using what we're good at to help people. Yeah. Bill Russell, for instance, I feel like in that instance, he's like,

I happen to be 6'9", really athletic, and I am a basketball player. But it's not necessarily like maybe I love charity. You know what I mean? Like I feel like a doctor, for example, it's like do you want to help people or did you think your parents wanted to raise a doctor? I think that's why so many guys are so hesitant. Now that I'm thinking about it, you know how I'm always like, oh, the guy wouldn't even tell me where he worked.

It's like maybe that's why guys are so hesitant to tell people what they do and where they work because they don't want girls to just have this perception of them. Because a lot of guys I meet are very, very hesitant on telling me where they work.

And maybe it's truly because once they say Morgan Stanley or EY, we'll just be like, oh my God, they're top dog at the big four. Oh my God, you're rich. You know what I mean? That goes back to the, I think you play the devil's advocate one day on this, but they don't, guys so badly, I feel like girls never walk around with this.

but guys so badly don't want a gold digger or a girl. They want a girl to truly like them for them. Yeah. But I do feel like a lot of times they shy away from it. Yeah. That actually really opened my eyes because usually you'd piss me off. But now I, I respect that. I get that. Cause I don't tell people where I work when they ask. I just go, I work in a, like I got my haircut and he goes, what do you do? I said, social media. Yeah.

Yeah, sports media company. I say sports media company. I just don't say sports media because then they might ask me sports questions and I'm like, I don't know. I'm on the accounting side of the sports. Yeah, I'm not on the sports part of the sports media. I have no idea. I have another question for you. Okay, so now the whole world knows that Graham doesn't masturbate. The whole world, literally. They didn't like that. They didn't. But I have a question for you. Did your sex life...

a bit with rough and rowdy since you were like, so go, go, go. And you were physically exhausted every single day. Just quick. Yes or no answer. Cause I have some more to talk. No. Okay. Oh, amazing. Yeah. God, I think it got better. My sex life is my sex life is permanently better because of this podcast. I've been trying new things. Love that because you know why I think it is. It's on my mind a lot. And I've opened up like, this is why I think people at home actually should start talking about sex a little bit more. It's a little awkward at first, but,

Yeah. But if you first, if you look at our first episode, we're like, like sex. Ah, we're like, does Graham, no, I'm like, so does Graham masturbate? Yep. Okay, cool. What do you want it to call it? A dick or a cock? Okay, so we're there. Um, but I think if you start talking about it, people start thinking about it more and then,

you just become so much more open with it. It becomes a part, it's just like a part of my life so much more than it was. That's actually true because I remember in the beginning, I would, I was more open to dating more because it made me curious so I could talk about it with you on the podcast. Yeah, it's like when you have a set date each week to talk to somebody about it,

It's like therapy. You're going to think about your feelings more because you know you got to report them. Yeah. Okay, so I was hoping you were going to say yes. Then I could be like, how are you guys making it spicy? But like, what are some new things? Have you guys tried anything new recently? Okay. Since you guys don't masturbate? Okay, let's clarify that. So everyone was saying like, all guys masturbate. He did at one point. But listen, Graham doesn't...

I don't know how to say this. The kid's not short on sexual attention. I don't know when he would masturbate. Right. He, you know, maybe in the shower, like, but when I come home, like he gets, I love to have sex with that kid. So it's like, I don't know. Yeah. That's the,

thing I didn't get about that whole argument. It's like why I get that sometimes yeah, like work trips away for the weekend. I don't know. There's why if you live with your snake and other why would you be why would you why would you masturbate if they're in the other room? I'm gonna be honest. I think a lot of people are in a happy relationships and they don't have a lot of sex like

which is so normal, by the way, that they're angry that you guys have a healthy sex life. Right, like I think people took that out of context, kind of. Yeah, they did. And I kind of blocked it out because it was the same week of the boxing. But when I went on the hack, I kind of did the podcast actually a little bit of a disservice because I was like, what do you want me to do? I was like, of course I know all guys masturbate. I do know that they do, but he just doesn't. And it's not because he's not allowed to. I went home and I asked him, and he's like,

Yeah, we literally have sex at this point every night. Like, when do you want me to masturbate? Well, yeah. I'm like, that's a good point, I guess. Like, work trips, there's going to be... Of course, there's going to be these different scenarios. But I'm just saying right now, like, he... It's not that I don't. It's just that he doesn't. Yeah, I think it just pulled out a lot of people's insecurities. And they were jealous. Because, like, which is totally valid. Like, when I was in a five-year relationship, we rarely had sex. And I would have...

at you too because I would have been envious and jealous. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So it's whatever. But anyways, what are some spicy things that are going on in the relationship? So I asked him yesterday. I said, have we ever role-played? Have we? Because I thought that we had. And he said, well, not technically. And I said, well, you bought me that outfit and I would wear it. And I was like, and I was... The whip. I was like, I was kind of being like a... I miss that.

I'm entertaining myself with the used whip. I was like, oh, you don't touch that? But I was like, it was like a biker girl. And he was like, no, I think role play has to be like you're a nurse dressing up as a nurse. But this is my question about role play. Do I have to talk and be in character or do I just have to be dressed up as the person? I think you got to go full balls to the walls. But I also think it's sometimes not just about playing a character. It's about setting up a scene.

So some people role play and like what they do is they will meet at a spot and act like they just met for the first time because like sometimes that's like spicy, like meeting someone, you know what I mean? And I've seen that in movies a lot where that's like how they keep their sex life special and like spicy. So that's a role play, but then just playing themselves like they've never met. So I would go to a spot. Yeah. And he would go at a different time and you guys would meet for the first time. It's like you're a one night stand. Yeah. That's like one thing. Yeah. Yeah.

And some people act like they're still married. Some people act like they're single. There's so many different ways to play it. So you could be like, hi, I'm Graham Bennett. What's your name? And you'd be like, Alex Hodges. Oh. And then he would buy you a drink and you would truly act like you just met. Alex Hodges! Who is that? Wait, hold on. Do we... Should you try that? Yeah, I'm going to try it, but I'm like, the effort. But that's

That's good. It's fun. No, it's fun. It's funny. I will do it. What's the point? Spicing it up? It's our fetish. Some people want to relive their singlehood and they want to know what it's like to be single again. All these things that you miss out when you're married. Not in a bad way, but you'll never get to relive again. Okay, so then you play like that. Yeah.

I like the going on, like ripping the clothes off type thing. Like I can see that, but I can't see me putting on the nurse outfit and being like, I'm a doctor. There's a wide array of role play. Okay, so you do have to role play by definition. You have to play a character that's different than yourself. Or a character that's like yourself, but in a different time period.

So like when you, before you and ground met. Okay. You know what I mean? So it has to be a different situation than the one I'm in now. Yeah. Or you even could pretend to be a whole different girl, but like yourself, you could just call yourself a different name. You don't have to go, you don't have to go crazy. Hold on. Why do I have to do it? Why can't he be? He can too. He can too. I'm just using you because you're in front of me. But what would be a scenario when a guy was role playing? He could pretend to be a guy you just met, but you're, you're, you're Alex Bennett. You're married Alex Bennett and you meet this hot,

tall man for the first time when Graham is away at a work meeting and you meet him at a bar and you're like, oh my God, Jordan. I know. I know. I'm too single, you guys. I'm too single. I have one more question and then we're going to talk about you being too single.

Why do I... Why am I not, like, biting on the idea? Because that's not a fantasy of yours. Maybe, like, another thing. Like, she's getting deep into this one specific thing. Yeah. It could be anything. Okay, I actually like that a bit more because it's not, like, a different life that I want to live. Yeah. Yeah, it's you. Doing something. Yeah, also... Like, cooking. Yeah, just know that, like... That's cool. It depends on, like, your fantasies, your fetishes, what you're missing out. Like, unfortunately, some people who are married for a long time, like, they need to, like...

relive these crazy scenarios so maybe they don't cheat on their partner. You know what I mean? Yes, I see what you're saying. Everyone's so different. Would you be insulted if somebody came to you and was like, hey, can we role play? I want to fill a void. If they were like, hey, I'm going to cheat on you if we don't, yeah. But if they were like, I just love the idea of re-meeting you, no, I wouldn't be offended. Oh, that's a good way to word that, re-meeting you. Yeah, but if they were like, I want to meet a new girl, I'd be like, what the fuck? Can you play somebody else tonight at the bar? I'd be like, fuck.

Can you play Stacey from across the hall? I'd be like, excuse me? That's in my head. I feel like somebody's saying to me, like, can we do something different? And I'm like, wait, why? Because it ain't broke. Why are we fixing it? But if they were like, I want to relive the night I met you, I'd be like, hell fucking yeah, let's do it. That's fun. That's like wanting to go to college. Yeah, that's cute. That's hot. That is hot. Yes. Love. Okay, you said you're too single. Yeah, I am. I feel like new hair is

Is it new you? Like, what's the status? Because we've got, after this, when this episode airs, we've got one week until we're, Labor Day, like, we're in the fall. Almost back to school after Labor Day. Yeah, so what's, like, the vibe of you and your dating? Yeah, so I'm very single. I haven't gone on a date since, it's, like, pre-Most Dangerous Games, so, like, May. Wow. May, May. Yeah. June, July, August. Four months. Four months.

Is that four months? Three months. Three months? Yeah, three months. Okay. How do you feel? Barely kissed a boy. I kissed one in the fourth, but I don't count that. So I haven't kissed a guy since then either. You know, it's been a lonely summer. Yeah.

No, I've had no interest in dating. This summer has been absolutely insane. It's hot as hell, which I didn't want to date. But lately I've been feeling more like giddy and in the mood to start dating again. Okay. Why? I don't know. I think it's like the fall energy. Everyone's always like cuffing season in the fall. I also feel like the cooler weather, I'm in a better mood. Everyone knows I hate the hot. But also I think too, things are going to be more...

Like, we've had a chaotic summer. Like, Mean Girls pod has been work, like, doing, we've never done, like, a normal day of work. It's like, sometimes we have to do Saturdays, Sundays, late night, you know what I mean? Like, it's never consistent. Dating would have been a too, you couldn't have, it wouldn't be fun to have dated. No, I was exhausted this summer. And I feel like we're going to be going back to, like, more of a regular time where people are working Monday through Friday type of thing. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like I'll have more, I can actually be like, oh no, after work I can get a happy hour with you at seven or eight o'clock. I feel like two things. One, yeah, you're going to be like so free that you're going to want to. But two, you said something yesterday that fascinated me. You're like, okay, on the dating apps, people are starting to be like, oh, Barstool, like, oh, it's the mean girl. So you were saying maybe the way to meet somebody is going to have to be organically? Yeah, I've been having a lot of social anxiety around dating apps lately.

I've actually downloaded it a few times this summer and then I've deleted it because – and this sounds like so like stupid of me to say, but a lot of people would be like, oh, you're that girl from Barstool. And that freaked me out because I never wanted someone to date me once again like based off of my title. So I feel like I can't go on the dating apps anymore because –

Because I don't want these preconceived notions of me. I want to meet people organically. But I was like, when is that ever going to happen? And then you made a really good point. In the fall, we're going to be going out and doing more things. Yeah. I feel like, A, we haven't gone out. We haven't sat at a bar and talked to the person next to us. Which all New York has to offer is guys. I haven't hung out with you outside of work since. Literally. No wonder you haven't met anybody. I haven't met a person. I only can be with you. Yeah. Like, no.

No, the last time I hung out with you, I couldn't even tell you. Right. I'm not short on seeing you, but it's in work. Yeah, it's always work-related. Yeah. I feel like that's funny that you don't want to be associated with the job. I mean, we just talked about that. That's cool. No, let me rephrase that. I don't want people to want to talk to me just because of the job. Like, if someone...

who truly loves mean girl pod and like loved my work that's different but i don't want someone to be like oh she works at bar so i gotta talk to her date her because they think your job's cool yeah yeah you just want the guy that's you just want you just want a normal guy that's like oh yeah that's cool i have heard of that yeah and who respects my job but isn't like have all these like preconceived notions and assumptions about me so at this point if i was like okay well

Do you want to go on like a double date? You're down. So now we're back. I want to kiss a boy so bad. You guys, I've been literally dreaming...

That's like how I fall asleep is I'll like just pick someone and like imagine like a scenario and then go to bed. Oh, wait, really? I have dreams about people every night and they're the most random people in my life. You have like suppressed it. Yeah. You had to. There was so much going on. Yeah. But now I'm excited for you because I feel like you're clear minded and you're like, I'm open. I've got the time. Let's do it. I haven't had sex in years.

It's not even a year. It's been a few months. Yeah. You know what? I haven't been touched by a man in a long time. I haven't even hugged. I haven't even hugged anybody. It probably feels good to be, like, fully ready, though. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, I have new hair. I'm starting to eat healthy again. I joined a different gym, so I feel like I'm getting a better workout in. Like, I feel like the fall is going to be, like, a little bit of a glow-up. Okay. Ooh, I love a glow-up. Yeah. You'll feel confident, and you'll be dating. Yes. Oh, I can't wait...

you'll go on a second date with somebody maybe maybe i'll meet someone this weekend you you seriously could oh wow i would totally vlog that moment oh i have to i i can't leave so alex and i are going to the hamptons for like uh yay rough around he's over let's have one more celebration before school starts and if i don't kiss a boy

I'm throwing hands. If you don't kiss a boy, we did something wrong. Yeah. Seriously, don't even come back. I'm the worst wingman in the world and we've completely failed at the Hamptons. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way. But no, I'm ready. I think fall will be a lot of fun. I'm excited. I'm very excited for you. Me too. Yay. It can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem-solving mode when faced with a challenge in life. But...

But when you learn how to find your own solutions, there's no better feeling. A therapist can help you become a better problem solver, making it easier to accomplish your goals no matter how big or small. I personally have been using therapy for years, and I know that you have too. Yes. So what was it that inspired you to do therapy? Um...

I hit a breaking point in my life and I was having panic attacks and I didn't want to leave my apartment. I was in the lowest I've ever been in. I was to the point where I didn't know what else to do. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people post-COVID especially can relate to that. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, accessible, affordable, and entirely online. Get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch therapists at any time throughout the process.

When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash mean girl today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash mean girl. Beautiful. All right. Should we get into a listener question? Yes, ma'am. Opinions on your boyfriend going to a strip club. And let's change that to boyfriend, partner, spouse, husband, anything. Okay.

I say let them go. Why not? And trust them. Like bachelor parties, we're going to strip clubs. I mean, there is no issue. And be a good boy, whatever that definition is that fits you. Yeah, I don't have an issue with that at all. I personally love strip clubs. I truly think if you have a problem, it might be because you don't trust your partner. Also, I view strip club as like a place of entertainment where...

The people who are stripping are doing their job. Like, they're not just going to be on your boyfriend making out with him. I mean, I don't know if that's a problem then. But you know what I mean? Like, when I think of strip clubs, I'm like, yeah, get the lap dance. Like, that's part of the entertainment of the show. Yeah, and just know how to do it tastefully. Yeah. Like, if you're...

significant others with a group of guys and they're all going out to the strip club, your man should be able to go handle his own and just like know the appropriate actions where everybody else. This is the example I always use. If you've got a single friend in the group and he's looking at you, he should be like, I, okay, I'm not afraid to get in a relationship because I can still have fun. I can be like that. And I can just know, like, if you feel good about your actions, you should be fine at a strip club. Yeah. Like if you're someone in a relationship, don't act like,

pay for a lap dance for yourself, but if someone pays for you to get one, accept it. You know what I always think the go-to is? What? Because I think bachelor, I think guy strips are where these come up the most. If you're the guy, you go, first things first, go up, pay for the person to get one. Yeah. You've already interacted. What do you think about bachelor parties? Like,

I think it's a little weird how people treat their own bachelor party, bachelorette party like it's a last hurrah, like they're single. I think that's weird. I feel like some people take it overboard. I think if you're doing that, you probably aren't marrying the right person. Yes, I don't think I know anyone that's done that, but I'm like, if that's your... I feel like people use that as a cop out. They're like, oh, last night before I...

hooked to the ball and chain the rest of us like that you're not marrying the right person you should be excited and you don't view that as the last thing to freedom because like being married should not remove freedom from your life well and that would be the worst feeling in the world yeah like then you get to go home to your person you're gonna marry it's like you probably feel like shit yeah but I feel like okay you know how if you if you start to stop somebody from doing something like if I was like never do anything

Yeah. You'd be like, you want to do it now? Yeah. I feel like that's what it is with strip clubs. If you're like, you won't go. Yeah. The guys are like, and everyone hates, I mean, you just, you can't. Yeah. So I think overall, it's like,

We think that it's totally okay. And if you don't, maybe reassess your relationship and your trust in that person. Yeah, it's fine. It's supposed to be fun. Yeah. Relationships are supposed to be fun. They're so fun to go to with a group. They're so much fun. I love going with my girlfriends. It's so much fun. They usually have the cheapest drinks. Have you ever gone with Graham? Yes. Totally gone. So fun. NOLA. The strip clubs are pristine there. Do we have strip clubs in New York? Sapphire? We do. What's NOLA? New Orleans. Ah, I got it.

Let's go to Shirt Club. Yeah, I think like 60th Street. It's called Sapphire. Is that cool? It is cool. You know what else? I love that they're open late. Oh, yeah. Yes. Love that. I love that we all agree on that. I do, too. All right. Well, A.B., do you want to do what you do best? Like, comment, subscribe. Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat.

leave us a review and subscribe to the YouTube channel. Yes, and also, if you guys didn't know, every Thursday we're coming on vlogs, which is going to be a day in our life behind the scenes. So if you guys want to see more of Mean Girl, make sure to watch our vlogs that drop every Thursday. And then the episodes obviously come out every Monday.