The Summer Of 69 48:07

Okay, we're officially declaring it the summer of 69 because like Jordan said, if you're gonna give head, which is valid, you deserve to get it. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a fan of it, but she is, so I'll go with it.

Wow, you guys, we are back. Mean Girl Pod is back, literally officially back. No more game shows, we're not leaving. I've had it. It was exhausting and it was sad and I felt alone. Also, like, the planning. You're gone for two weeks, I'm gone for a week, but technically two weeks, Memorial Weekend. Good thing you're type A enough to plan. Literally. Literally. It, like, freaks me out sometimes. Yeah.

with people who are not type A. Do I freak you out all the time? Your lifestyle does a bit. It's a little chaotic, but I appreciate it because it balances me out. Yeah, I think it's good for you. I think if we were both type A, it would suck.

Like we'd be at each other's throats. We wouldn't be friends. No, we would not be friends. I also don't think like in a business partner setting, you should ever have two type A people. It's not good. No. That would be terrible. One thing I was type A with is planning your birthday party, which is this week. I know. I'm so excited. I hate to be that girl who's like, I hate my birthday, but I do. I don't like planning. And it's not from like the stance of...

Oh, I don't want it to be all about me. I don't like it because I'm stressed and anxious because I like to plan. Right. I'm so excited about it. I'm really excited too. I also love that it's like kind of Mean Girl themed. I think it is. It's our new merch theme. It's ironic that the merch drops today and your birthday cake might look like that. I don't know. Shut up. I don't know. Stop. Maybe it has part of it on there. Maybe not. Maybe I forgot to get you a cake knowing me. No, you didn't. Because you already told me you had to pick something up.

Anyways, the merch. I'm so excited. Okay, so the merch is dropping today. Alex has a hat on. Alana has a hat near her. We got the sweatshirt. We have t-shirts, totes, phone cases. Can we do a shout out to the phone cases? They're so sick. I'm not kidding you guys. Also, the phone case is so great because I've been on a few dates and I just lay my phone here and then they'll be like, what's that? Ooh, spicy. And I'm like, ah.

that I do. This is what I do for work. But like, and then when you take mirror selfies, it's like easy to just like show. Love.

I don't know. Also, if you're not watching or listening to us on YouTube or watching us on YouTube, you probably should switch over because we're showing all the merch. Or you can go to our link in our bio. Or go to Instagram. I'm sure we've plastered it everywhere by this time. Yes. Oh, I'm so excited for this merch. I've never loved something so much and wanted to wear it every day. It's the...

The logo, Alana drew the logo. Guys, it is such a vibe. Just look at it. You can't take it all in. No. Also, no. Alana, just like one day casually was like, hey, I whipped something up on my iPad. Can I show you? No, that's artwork. I was nervous to look at it, too, because I'm pretty picky when it comes to clothes. I was like, shit, this is going to be annoying because I'm going to have to send her back changes.

Not one thing. Yeah. I was like, oh, that's like so much cooler than I could have ever thought of. No, it's so cool. And it's very, it's very all encompassing, I think. Yeah. Things that are like, oh, that's cute. It's a vibe. It's our vibe, right? Well, and the reason why I love it too is because it has meaning behind it. I mean, like we live in New York. Alex and I both have butterfly tattoos. Like the ring is because you're married. Right.

She's giving the middle finger because like being a mean girl is like kind of like, fuck you. I'm going to do me. Do yourself. We love martinis. We ironically became obsessed with martinis at the same time that Alana Drew worked out. Yeah. So it's like it truly encompasses all of our like our whole journey throughout our freshman year of Mean Girl. Totally. So it's very special. And everyone's come on this journey with us. Like I feel like our listeners truly understand that.

Like, when they see this, and even if you just follow us on Instagram, I think they're going to be like, oh my god, that logo is literally perfect. Literally. And I swear to god, if I ever see anyone wearing the merch, I'm going to jump them. Like, in the most...

Casual way possible So if you want to go on a date with Jordan Buy the Mean Girl merch and then go out where she goes out And then she'll jump you If I saw a guy wearing our merch at the bar I would melt Don't forget, we made it in mind for guys too Yes, Alana's boyfriend had it on today And it looked really nice If you found a guy out at What's that bar you like? The Spaniard I'm giving you guys a hint And they were wearing a Mean Girl shirt Would you take them home?

Can we get a guarantee on that? If you could just say yes, I think we could sell a lot more. Yeah. I'll take them home. Jordan, we'll take you home if you buy our merch. I will literally go up and hug you. Like, I'm not kidding you. I would cry if I saw somebody, especially because, like, I mean, obviously girls too, but if a guy was wearing a big, oh my God. Guarantee the make out. I feel like this hat is for guys. Guarantee it. Yeah. Totally for guys. I can't really put it on over the thing.

And like if I saw a guy like with Mean Girl on I'd be like that's such a vibe. Yeah. I'd be like what does that mean? I don't get it. Also guys it's a great like pick up line. Wear it around and a girl like imagine if a girl like listens to Mean Girl and they saw you wearing Mean Girl. Like you guys would definitely go home together. 100%. Guaranteed. Oh wow we're so nice. We're setting up hookups via merch. And girls if you're wearing it I mean guys will come up to you and be like oh Barstool. Love Barstool. Yeah well I like Barstool. Is that a Barstool podcast? Yeah. Yeah. You have something in common. Yeah.

mcgobber so nice we're connectors pretty much we are setting you guys all up for the summary so you're welcome head over to store.barstoolsports.com to buy now um want to update me on your life miss mrs was gone for a week what happened a lot happened oh my god what this was probably one of the most uh chaotic weeks of my life guy wise um

The week you were gone without your phone? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So I was in the woods for a game show called Barstool's Most Dangerous Games. It will drop at the end of July, so I can't talk about it until then. But if you go on Twitter, I mean, you can see who was on it. And it was a great time, but I was truly in the woods without my phone, without, I couldn't talk to these two for a week. I literally felt like I was isolated from the world. So when I came back,

I was a little rowdy because I was like, I felt like a kid in a candy shop again. I was like, boys, alcohol, drinking, partying, sex. Jordan goes to the woods for a week and comes back and it's sex and drugs and alcohol. That's awesome. So when I came back from the woods, I was a little...

All I'll say is I might have some trauma from the woods. And when I came back, I wasn't thinking straight. Oh, so it's woods' fault. The woods' fault. So just tell us everything because we're not going to blame you. Yeah, so I literally, like, I mean, if you guys think your life is in shambles, I took Plan B back-to-back last weekend. Why? Times? Yeah. Yeah.

Shut up. Shut up. Two different guys or super paranoid about one guy? Oh, no. Two different guys. Two different guys in one week. I hooked up with... And I... When I... I'm saying this with a grain of salt. I mean this to my core. I have never hooked up with more than one guy in one week. I hooked up with three guys in one week. Three different guys. Let's not forget. Let's just...

rewind about what was it? Six episodes ago when I think I asked you how many times you'd had sex and the answer was twice in two years. Where are we at now? What's the body count? Give us the body count. Twelve? Ten? It is... It's double digits. It is a lot more. That's all I'll say. Is it double digits? No, I'm not going to tell you guys my body count. Tell us your body count. I'll tell you off camera my body count. I'll tell you guys your body count. I'll just Instagram it. I'll just get on the IG story. Secretly recording her. No, but I have...

But, like, I promise. I... Nothing... Also, nothing wrong with hooking up with multiple guys in one week. I just never have done that before in my life. Like, I truly was a kid in a candy shop. No, it's summer in the city. Yes. That's what it is. It's summer in the city. Also, I'm not kidding you guys. Like, through this podcast, I'll say it again. My confidence is so much stronger than it used to be. Like...

It is insane. If you believe you're confident, you can get any guy you want. Like, it's insane. Okay, wait, hold on. Can we dive into that a little bit? Yeah. Where's that coming from, like, do you think? Like, what's the thought process that's giving you this new sense of confidence? Well, I think one, to be honest, like, I'm not, and not that I wasn't back in Minnesota, but I'm truly surrounded by people, like, especially you two, like, people, girls who, like, lift me up every day and, like, show me my worth. Like,

You complimenting me. You guys being nice and complimenting. That's so rare. I don't think people understand how rare it is to have girls in your life who are like, you look beautiful today. You have a hot body. Show some skin. Show some skin. Hearing you guys say that to me helps a ton. I think too... I don't know. I think just learning and seeing it firsthand. You guys are both very confident people. Some are surrounded by confident people. Also...

I don't know. Like, there's a lot to it. I feel like you have, and on that note, we're sitting up straight. Yep. I feel like you have no reason to not be confident. I just don't think you ever thought of it. Like, really, if you think about it, it's like you have a million reasons to be confident. Like, you're young, you're fun, you're very smart, you're driven, you're absolutely beautiful, and you've got a cute body, which we've been showing. Yeah.

I love that in the Insta stories. But I feel like the guys, too, that follow the podcast, my DMs are flooded with, like, wait, so Jordan's really single, like, I'll totally date her. How can you not be confident with that? That's true. This podcast has definitely helped, which, I mean, is incredible, guys and girl-wise. Totally. Like, working at a company, too, that everyone loves helps a ton. Being in New York, where people are so much more welcoming...

Like, I know that sounds weird, but people are so much more inclusive in New York. People, New York's people get a bad rap, right? Because people say, oh my God, they're assholes. Nobody's going to say hi to you on the streets. It's the complete opposite of that. They're not necessarily like, hey, how are you when you're walking by? But if you're out at a bar or if you meet somebody like the intellect here, people really want to sit and talk and get to know you.

And would you not admit this? To live here is a grind. So if you're meeting somebody that lives here, they're on the same grind as you. 100%. Also, I think too, just like practice makes perfect. Like when I tell you guys I've been shooting my shot, I have been rejected more times than I can count. But I'm getting to the point where I'm like, I don't care. Like life's short. I could die tomorrow. Might as well just do it. Yeah. I've been rejected a lot. Like I want, I'm not just saying that like I would have been probably rejected more than I have been accepted.

Yeah. No, I would say that's true for you. But you're also not liking these guys. Have we talked about Jordan's ick she gets? Because she calls it getting the ick and it usually happens date two or three and you don't like them anymore. Which I think is nice because you don't waste your time. And I'm very upfront about the ick. Like I never leave people on. That's a goal. Or yeah, a goal. Do you... A value. A value.

That's a pillar of Jordan? Yes. I never lead people on. You're very good about that. Is there a guy recently or currently that you're going to break things off with? Give us the guy update. I think there's... And we're not glazing over plan B, but do the guys first. Yeah, so I have... There's a couple guys that I'm chatting with at the moment. Um...

I think it's the aspect, though, of them being emotionally unavailable.

Well, they say you are what you eat. And if I'm attracting emotionally unavailable people, I'm learning that I probably am very emotionally unavailable because I seem to like guys who don't live here because they're not here. So it's easy to like. I think because I know there's a guy right now that you like that doesn't live here. That is correct. I'm telling you, if that guy lived here, you'd be like, gross. You would hate him. Hate. Literally, he's like ugly and he's not fun. Yeah, I know. And I even.

asked you, I go, what do you like about this guy? And you're like, uh, did I tell you he doesn't live here? And I was like, okay. No. Well, I mean, I can't answer that because he's not here. So, I don't know. And yet, Jordan's like, I'm obsessed with him. I'm like, what? You don't know him that well. I know, that's my problem. But, I mean, that's like, in my blood, I'm always obsessed off the bat. Tell us about the... Oh, yeah. So, there is a... I'm seeing a guy and...

Like, he's a great guy overall, but I...

I don't want to settle down anytime soon, but I'm very futuristic about dating. I'm not going to date somebody who has a different life plan than me. I just don't think that's going to work. I did that for five years, and one day I thought we were going to have the exact same life plan, and it never came to be. So the person I've been on a few dates with wants to settle down soon, wants to have a family, kids, move out to New York. I don't want kids. People think that's going to change, maybe, but at this point in my life, at 26, almost 27, I do not want kids.

I do not want to leave New York City. Like when I see my future, I see myself living in a beautiful condo overlooking Central Park or one of the rivers with my hot husband and we're going to travel the world together. That's my life. Yeah. So when I hear somebody wants kids, I'm going to tell them straight up and be like, you're not going to get that from me.

I think that's respectful though. Yeah. Okay, so there's a guy right now that you're dating or going on dates with. Going on dates, please. Seeing. Be careful with that. Yeah, not dating. Jordan is absolutely not dating anybody. Very single. How do you define dating? What do you think that you could call someone like you're dating them? If I'm dating somebody, I would say you probably got at least like four or five dates, but you're not exclusive. Probably.

Probably like you see them consistently, like weekly. So you're over the hump of the first two dates and then you don't have the ick yet. And so you're still talking and seeing them. You'd say we're like dating. Yes. But you're, but in that scenario, you're like allowed to still date other people. Cause you want to have a single summer. Oh, a hundred percent. No one will be tying me down this summer. Nobody's going to tie me down. Nobody. Okay. So this guy's got a different life plan than you. Are you texting him this or telling him in person? I'm going to tell him in person.

Fuck it. I'm a fraud and I texted him. I did not tell him in person I'm a fraud, you guys. I got scared and I just texted him. Why? Why? Why? Because I am terrified of conversations. Would you read us the message? Would you summarize the message? Live read. Live read. At least summarize. And did he respond?

So I texted him that I just didn't feel the connection that I'm looking for. Sorry, Austin Butler is staring at me on that billboard. He's talking like, oh my God. Austin Butler is cute.

Wasn't aware he existed. And he responded in the nicest, most mature way ever, which was so sweet. And you'll remember that forever. If she ever runs into him, you'll have nothing but respect for him. I have nothing but amazing things to say for him, say about him, because he is such a sweet person. He's not my person. So if the girl has the audacity and the...

the kindness to end it with you'd be a nice fact. Yes. Right? Because you'll never forget that. And like maybe you would set him up with a friend or something. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. And the new girl would be lucky. I mean, he's awesome. That's cute, Alex. That's a good thought. Like don't let it be a shock to your ego instead of like Yeah, it's just like you're not just for me. Yeah. That's cute. Yeah, nice.

Be nice and mean. Be nice and mean this summer. But we don't want to break character, but be nice. Be nice. Be nice to the boys. Be nice to the boys. Well, two plan B's in. Two plan B's. So I have this issue where I decide to only have sex when I'm ovulating. Smart, I know. That's one of the better ideas people have had. Is that a tip we're going to give? No, don't have sex when you're ovulating. Only have sex when you're ovulating. It's hard, though, because I think we're the horniest as females when we're ovulating, right? Well,

No question. Uncontested. So what happens is like, I'll go out to a bar and be so okay making out with the guy, but when I'm ovulating, I'm like, I want to go home and have sex with you. And then you're like, who's buying the plan B, you or them? And are you telling them you're taking it?

I'm buying it. They have no idea I'm taking it. But they do know... I always tell guys before we have sex that I'm not on birth control. And you know what? You think that that would make them hesitate. It doesn't. I wouldn't think that would make them hesitate, sadly. I don't know why. But you're a condom girl. Yes. And then, like, that's the thing. It's like...

So did you not wear condoms? Well, we always start with a condom. Oh. Yeah. We just don't end with a condom. You know what they say about those condoms? It just doesn't feel as good. It does not feel as good. It's just not the same. But that's the thing that sucks. So no, I ended up buying Plan B. I spent $80 on Plan B this weekend, which really sucked. It's not cheap. Cheaper than other things. Cheaper than, well, and cheaper than a child. Cheaper than a child.

I have a question that I've been pondering about these boys. How many strikes would it take for one to be out? I know you asked me that question the other day and I was thinking about it and I think it's, it's very biased. Like if I had been on two dates with a guy, one strike and I'm like, hell yeah, I have an excuse to kick you out. But if I'm like obsessed with a guy, they, I hate to admit this, but they could do me dirty for months and I would let them stay around. Yeah.

I know. That surprises me for you. I know. Because the scenario of why I asked the question was this. There was a guy that we had met out and he was really cute and you went home with him. You really liked him. Yeah. And then he texted you asking about your job.

Yes. You tweeted about this. You said, when somebody... The little's my job. I think I never want to speak to them again. Yeah. And so he had asked you just simply, what do you do? Do content people have to work that hard? Yeah. And you were like, yeah, it's a lot more than people would think. And then he didn't reply. And you were like, what the fuck? And so at this point, this guy had one strike and he was out. Yeah. In your mind, he was out. Yeah. But then the next day, he texted you and was like, that's amazing. I never thought of it. It's like this really nice text message.

And it's like we're removing the strike and he's back in the game. I know. Yeah. There's no rule to it. No, it's truly because I think I love coming up with excuses not to like people. It's just easier that way. But if I like really like a guy which I have... And I mean like a guy that more so like...

college-y days where you meet people organically and you hang out with them. And you get to know them. They could have five strikes and I'd keep them around. That so doesn't seem like you to me because it's funny, you're pretty quick to write off. You're decisive. Not when it's a true organic connection though. Okay, when you like-like somebody. Which I have not liked someone in a long time so I don't need to worry about this. It's like a pattern I have. When I first meet a guy, I become really obsessed with them.

And everyone's like, Jordan, you're being like kind of weirdly obsessed. But then I let two weeks pass and I'm like, what about X, Y, and Z? I'm like, who?

No, seriously. It's like a total pattern of mine. We went to lunch yesterday and I asked you about a guy and you're like, huh? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I haven't talked to him. And I was like, oh, I thought we really liked him, but I guess not. I know. It's an issue. I think it's just because I think deep down I need to realize I'm very emotionally unavailable. And I haven't accepted that because I thought I was emotionally available. But I know I think deep down I'm not.

So I think it just plays into that. Like, I need to go back to therapy. What... Oh.

You out of therapy right now? I've been in therapy for a long time. Yeah, since you broke up with yours back in the day. That's when I broke up with mine. I got a new one. I know you did, but the day you broke up with yours was when... I remember you texting me saying, I'm breaking up with my therapist. I was like, same. I hate mine. Yeah. We need therapists. Yes. We really do. I have a name. I think I'm going to do some researching. We could be each other's therapists. Well, this is kind of like my therapy. Right now, I think it's good. It's just the only problem is...

the actual advice that you probably need to hear. Well, and the thing is with me, I'm very contradicting. So I say one thing and I talk to talk, but I don't walk the walk.

Yeah, but I think you're doing a good job in life. I have to tell you that. Thank you. I appreciate that. And you're having a lot of fun. Yeah. And it's birthday week, so let's not take it too seriously. So that's my update. Now I need to hear about yours because Miami looked phenomenal. We're going to go to Miami on a Mean Girl trip. I can't remember a time, honeymoon included, that Graham and I went on a vacation, just the two of us, that I have had that much fun. Wait, where'd you go for your honeymoon?

Bora Bora. I've never looked at someone's vacation and like, I need to be there now. I've never been on a vacation like the one I just went on. I don't know. It was so fun. And when you talk about it, you like light up. I'm like, I need to go. I'm obsessed with Miami. And I just like the energy there. And I met this girl beside me. Okay. I started manifesting love, which sounds like no, I, Ellie,

Alex, one, one, one manifest your dreams into reality. You are a manifester, big manifester tattoo even. Yeah. Yeah. You're into it. Okay. That's so true. I'm in good company. I hear it. And I think hokey vibes, right? I'm like, okay, okay. Not you. I love that you welcome it. Thank you very much. So I made a, I made a thing in my head. I was like for seven days, I'm going to manifest. Right. And I was in the middle of it while I was there. And one thing I've always wanted to do on vacation is meet a friend.

The girl beside me at the pool, she was like, hey, what's up? I was like, hey. And I was like, where do you live? And she was like, New York. She gave me the cross streets. We literally live a five block walk from each other. She has...

She's like started a wellness app about manifesting. Like, I don't know. I was just like, wow. And now I have a friend and we stayed out till 4 a.m. with them. Wait, that's so crazy. I know. I have a question. What? So how, because obviously Graham doesn't drink. Right. And you're, you like to drink. I love, I have fun. How does, like, how does that work? Like that dynamic? Like, can Graham also stay out till 4 a.m. or is he kind of like...

Bye. You hang out with your girlfriends now. Okay. He, I think it's because he used to be so wild that he like knows how to have a good time and he knows how much fun I have like going out and it's not even that I need to go out with other people. Him and I can go out and have a blast. That's fun. And it's fun because it'll just be the two of us sitting at the bar and I will not stop talking and I think he enjoys it. So he just knows for me it's fun and he's like, I want to do stuff too.

Only difference is, honestly, he just feels great the next day. I love that. I love that, like, Graham doesn't let drinking stop him from having fun. Because a lot of people do. When they become sober, they don't do anything anymore. Yeah, like, if we did, like, a sober month, I wonder if we would be as social. I don't think we would. Well, I did, and I wasn't. I, um...

I don't think I would either at this age. You wouldn't stay out as late. Hell no. The only way I can stay out late is if I'm literally drinking tequila mixed with another alcohol. Spread 95 espresso martinis to wake us up. Literally. Literally. That's the only way I can stay up. I couldn't stay up till 4am sober. I know. Yeah. I don't know how he does it, but he has a blast doing it. And then he hung out with the other couples too and you guys all had a great time. Love the guy. Yeah, it was a nice match. It was perfect. Fine.

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?

Are you in the Mile High Club? I am. You are not. No, you're fucking not. Yeah. Tell the story immediately. I've always wanted to join it and I don't know how. What? Yeah. I thought this was like a folks tale that people just like joked about. So did I because I kept wondering how to do it. Yeah, it was on a private jet. Oh. That's why. But also how bougie. Yeah, it was pretty sick. That is bougie. Wait, were there other people there? Yeah. Are you not worried about the pilot sink? No, the pilot knew. Yeah.

It was weird, actually. That is odd. Were you in the bathroom? Yeah, they were encouraging it. Wait, was this a barstool private jet? No.

No, we were with DJs. Wait, okay, hold on. What? Did I start over? Yeah, what? So they're telling you? So... Are these swingers? Maybe three years ago, Mike randomly met out the Loud Luxury guys. Okay. We've since become very good friends with them. But then, it was a Friday night and they were like, tomorrow we're flying to Vegas on a private jet. They have a residency there. You should come with us.

So we weren't even dating yet. Yeah, it was crazy. We weren't even dating yet. And he was like, do you want to come? And I was like, yeah, let's fucking go. So we went. It was like there was probably like six people on the plane. And the flight attendant was so funny. She was like she was like an actress kind of. She was like an older woman. She was like 60 and she could like sing. It was so weird. She was like singing and talking and she was like encouraging everyone to do it.

We were like, okay. But it was one of those things. Did you take turns? There was another couple on there. And then other single people. What? This is incredible. So you would just go in the bathroom. Did you feel a lot of pressure? It was a lot of pressure. It definitely wasn't... The best sex. It was to do it to say we did it. It wasn't like... How big was the bathroom?

Bigger or smaller than a commercial? It was bigger than commercial, yeah. It was like a standard bathroom size, probably. That's incredible. Did you moan? Maybe, maybe a little bit. It wasn't like that. Because it was sort of planned, it didn't have that ecstasy behind it. It was just like, let's go have sex in the bathroom so we could say we did it. Yes, exactly. I'd be like, we just have to do this. Yeah, we just have to go do it. Were you drinking?

We were drinking, yeah. I would have had to. It was a flight to Vegas. It was, what, five hours? Oh, shit. I would have had to have been drinking. Yeah, it was a little embarrassing. I felt like it was kind of like high school, kind of. You walk out of the bathroom, and they're like, oh, you just made out. Yeah. We're done. And scene. And bow. Yeah. We're in the Mile High Club. It's a small club.

Yeah. I don't think you could do it commercial. I mean, you could do it in commercial flights. I guess people do it. But like, that's very stressful to me. I don't know how you could do it though. Yeah. Because I feel like when you come out, you don't know if someone was waiting in the line. It's just embarrassing. And dirty too. So small. It's like two by two in there. Yeah. And just like the announcements. I'd be freaking out. Somebody noticed. And like, you could never walk out if they noticed. Oh yeah. I'd be mortified. I think you could in like a...

So when I went to Australia, our plane was massive and the bathrooms were massive. So I feel like in a plane ride like that, you could, because like when everyone's sleeping, you could go to the massive bathroom. It's got to be in the back bathroom too, I think. But there was like a big bathroom where you could like actually physically change, like bring a suitcase in there. Really? Yeah, it was big. And I feel like if that's like the only time I could think of maybe doing it. You could do it there probably. I've never been on a plane like that, but that sounds like, because people obviously are in the Mile High Club. I'm like, when? When?

Yeah, yeah. I'm a PJs. They're on PJs. Okay, you said something that sparked, would you be a swinger? Wait, don't you want to know what are the craziest places I've had sex? Sure do. And then I want to know if you'd be a swinger. I literally have had sex in no crazy places. None? No. Not one? I think like the craziest places. Most random? Like a car?

What? The backseat of the car? Yeah, like in Minnesota, your ex-boyfriend has a truck. You bring it to a cornfield. You lay on the side of the truck in a cornfield. And you have sex. Literally, yeah, a car. That's probably my sex life. Most randomest? Yeah. Everything else has been in, like, rooms. Like, bedrooms. Sex in the back of a car is not easy. No. It's not. Especially if the seats aren't down. If you leave the seats up, it's horribly hard. What about you?

Probably, I love balconies at hotels. Oh, I love that. You know, because it's kind of like, we're not supposed to be doing this. No one can see you. And if they do, whatever. Yeah. And then like, I wouldn't be mad. And then kind of like risque. That's like my favorite thing to do. I love that. I don't know the craziest place. Like, I wish I had the story where I was like, okay, we were at a wedding and there was the janitor closet and like, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I don't have that.

Every guy I randomly meet, I'm not hot and heavy with. The guys I'm hot and heavy with are the ones I have that sexual... Oh, actually, I know the craziest place I've ever... Where? Tell us. I can't say it. I have one I can't say either, and I'm keeping it in the back of the office. Why? It's the place I... Come on. I just wonder if... I can't legally can't say it. I legally can't. I can't once.

please please i hope everyone gets that and it wasn't even like full sex it was just hooking up come on listeners tell us think think about it and that's your clue um i've done more oral sex in crazier places than like okay that counts i think sex oh that counts yeah oh i've done oral in a lot of places yeah oh yeah poor pizza parlor back in oklahoma city

a quick side note. Are you going to tell us? No, I don't know my in-laws. Listen, I don't think they do, but I don't want to run their lives. Okay. Okay. I like, right. Keep the relationship. I'm going to, this is like, I know we're going to talk about stringers, but like this is a quick hot take. I am so back on the blowjob train. Mm.

I was off of it for so long and I forgot how much I love them. You have so much power. I like it for the power, not because I actually like putting something in my mouth. The power you get behind a blowjob. It's incredible. Okay, can I say the only way I'm doing the blowjob is if we're 69ing, which I've recently become. What? Wait, what? What?

You can say you like blowjobs and I can't say that 69's better. It's still a blowjob. But I know who you're 69ing with. Wait, are you back on the 69 trick? I don't think I ever left it. What's wrong with that? Wait, why do you guys not? I love it. Because guys don't know how to eat out properly, so it's not enjoyable. The guys I've been with. Not, I know one that knows.

Wait, if you're on the blowjob train, how could you not hop to the 69 train? It's better.

I think it's because If I had a guy who knew what he was doing down there I would welcome it all day All day every day baby But I haven't been with a guy who knows what they're doing down there in a long time Okay that must be it That's gotta be the problem 100% You would say it's better You're not buying it It's very uncomfortable for me I end up just standing I'm like you know what I'm done with this I can't reach It's gonna be Alana and her boyfriend

What was that called? The planking challenge? Yes, the plank challenge. What's that called? The plank challenge. Oh my God. Yeah, I end up just sitting up and being like, get to it a little. Yeah, one second. Yeah, I'm very jealous of you though. Holy crap, I love you. I think if you're back, you and Grant probably have a...

A very similar height difference? We're super compatible in the height department. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I think it just works out. But I'm thinking if you're going to... If you love giving them a blowjob, why not multitask? The reason why I love giving blowjobs is not because...

of putting it in the mouth or feeling anything back it's purely the power dynamic you hold so much power of giving him yes that's all the power and how do you think sometimes you you differentiate between being in control and a guy being like oh she gave me a head like she's a slut do you know what i mean i think it's the type of head you give like elaborate do you know what i mean i think you know you gave me that like you know what i mean

Elaborate. We need to know with that. What kind of head are you giving? Sorry. Show us. Like, I think if you're a girl and if you're bad at giving head, like,

No shame. Like, we all need to learn. I just had a boyfriend for five years, so you learn. You know what I mean? Like, people don't feel bad if you're not good at it. Like, you truly learn how to do things when you're in a long-term relationship. And I feel like if you give bad head, a guy's like, oh, yeah, she just gave me head. It was whatever. Or if they, like, pull you up from it type of thing. Do you know what I mean? But if you, like...

if you give like a specific type of blow job and you can like tell based off what the guy's doing with their body like they like the legs you literally rule the world they shake like you rule the world um and you just got like there's like i'm not gonna sit here and teach people how to give blow jobs like i feel like that's so right we're done but um i also don't have a gag reflex uh

So that works in my favor. I got my tonsils out and ever since then I just don't have one. Are you going deep or side? So you gotta go deep. Yeah, that's why I agree with that. The one thing I will say is you just gotta go deep. Alex, being a married couple, I know you don't want to share all your secrets, but if you could give a blowjob tip out there, what would you say? What does Graham love? I do

Do the blowjob thing Because I love that we get to 69 while doing it I love that you love that I love it Oh it's definitely my favorite thing right now Then martinis in 69 and you're like You had a fun time in Miami Very high on my list But I think you have to I don't love giving a blowjob I don't love the power That's not it for me It's kind of a pain I am team like you do have to do the deep throat thing My only tip is If you breathe through your nose

You won't gag. And if you hold your thumb, I'm sorry, I forgot the other part. I hold my thumb like that. And then it softens the gag. It like gets rid of the gag reflex. We...

so like for me you tell me this i do have a gag reflex but if you hold your thumb like that it's something about like it distracts your brain and then like while you're doing it you won't be like oh i feel like i'm gonna throw up oh interesting yeah so hold the hold that and they'll help yeah my tip well like i said i don't know if this is like in my head or not but only because i don't have tonsils that's why i don't have a gag reflex ever lucky ever since i got rid of them i like i even like have tried to make myself i've

I've tried to make myself throw up in the past. Like, when I was really drunk, this was a while ago. Like, bad times. But I couldn't because I had no gag reflex. Like, it's truly like a tonsil issue. So, I would say the deep throw. And then also, you have to play with the balls. Yeah. Gotta move in the mouth and suck on them. Yeah. Yeah, another thing Graham told me. Oh, what? Speaking of that, like, while you're doing it, because you can't... Sometimes you can't get your mouth, obviously, all the way down. Yeah. If you can, like...

Put your hand around, like, the... And do, like, the bottom part and, like, meet it, like, and make it part of, like, the mouth. Like, they love that because that's, like, the sensitive part. Yeah. I just did that. Did you? Did he love it? I think so, based off of his reaction. Were the legs moving? That's how I can tell. He was, like, shaking. He was shaking. He was shaking.

He's going to call you again, this guy. No, he probably won't. Nope, okay. Still exciting. If you knew which guy it was, you'd be like, nah. Oh, I'm going to ask you immediately after this. Yes.

I have a question that kind of got brought up right there. So you said you had a boyfriend for five years. So what about somebody teaching you how to do things they like? Like if you don't know how to give head, there's no, and like if somebody's listening to this and they're like, wait, I'm not that good at it and I'm talking to guys that I'm never going to learn, like what am I going to watch YouTube? I think we should normalize people being like, hey, can you just tell me what you like? How can I give you a better blow job?

I could not agree more. And I feel like some people are more okay with it once you're in a relationship. Like, why is it so taboo to, like, say that to someone you're just hooking up with? Yeah, like, hey, tell me what you like. Or, like, if a guy's, like, fingering you and you're like, I don't like to be fingered, just tell them that. Yeah, but I'm not a fingering person. I think they're going to be okay if they don't have to finger you. Yeah, exactly.

If a guy was like, oh, I don't like handjobs, I'd be like, thank you, because I don't want to ever give... I haven't given a handjob since I was like 18. But you know what I mean? I don't need to give one for my satisfaction. Right. But if somebody was into something, or they love being kissed on the neck, or they don't, don't you just want them to tell you? Yes. We communicated about it. And then, honestly, I think you would like the person more. 100%, because you'd be more physically attracted to them. And then, okay, if you told a guy what you liked...

And then he knew exactly how to hook up with you. And then you were like out at a bar or something. You could text him and be like, that would be a great person to hook up with. Because you would know that he knew how to do it with you. Yeah. That's a good idea. When did you and Graham start telling each other what you like to do? We were like, it took us a long time actually. I wish I would have done it earlier. Because it changed everything when we started doing it. We probably didn't start doing it until we got married.

Wow. Yeah. We waited a really long time. Do you mean like in gross detail? No, like I didn't know, like for example, I would kiss his neck because I thought it like turned him on and it not until like six months of being married. He was like, I hate when people touch my neck. I know. I was like,

No, I was like, wait, I never. What a huge secret. Yeah, and I didn't like do it that often, but it was like something you told me. Also, I think it's important to tell people because like, for example, all I, a few years ago, all I knew was what my ex-boyfriend of five years liked. So most likely the next guy isn't going to like what he likes. But in my head, we just assume like the neck thing. You just assume. Asking like, I don't like my neck kissed. Right. Like I have no feel. I literally have no feeling on my neck.

So, okay, that's interesting. Why don't we... I think I literally... I truly think it's from being a girl over the years, having your neck burned by your hair after, like, straightening and stuff. Oh, you just hate it. I just hate it. But you wouldn't... Nobody would know that unless you told them. No one would know. Interesting. I guess the only way to infer would be, like, if somebody was kissing your neck and you did like it and you were, like, making noises, you could know that they did like that. Yeah. There's no way to know that they don't. Yeah, or, like, for example, my ex-boyfriend loved when his ear was kissed and then...

so I just assumed every guy liked the ear kiss and I've been with guys who are like, please don't. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I appreciate them telling me because like, I don't want to just be sitting here making out with the ear and you like deep down think this is so gross. Do you think you're being so hot and they're like, I mean like squirm. They're like,

And they're like, please stop, please stop, please stop. And then they might not want to like... Hook up again. Yeah. I think we should... Maybe the next time everyone's hooking up with your significant other... No. Somebody you're dating. I think I like it with a one night stander. I want somebody, you're going to have to do this, to be like, tell me what you like. You can say it in a sexy way. Yeah. Yeah.

It has to be like a sober one night stand because like I've done that when I'm drinking and like we all know drinking sex isn't that great. Can't remember what they said. Don't care what they said. Well how do you think they should tell you they don't like it? I think they can just be like I don't

this, but you know what I really love. Or maybe they should just tell you what they like. Like, I love this position. Yeah, I guess you don't have to be like, I don't like when you kiss my neck, but if they're kissing your neck, you could be like, I love when people kiss my ear. Yeah, or just like move. Yeah. And then I'm sure they'll move to the ear. Happily. Okay, we're officially declaring it the summer of 69 because like Jordan said, if you're gonna give head, which is valid, you deserve to get it. Yeah! Yeah!

I mean, I'm not a fan of it, but she is, so I'll go with it. And Jordan's going to try it. But if you're... It's the summer of 69, because you're going to... You got to... Also, if I try it, I have to find a guy who's taller than me. Yeah, you do have to find somebody that's, like, compatible height-wise. But also, I think you have to tell them what you like. Like, say, that doesn't feel good. That does feel good. Like, be open about it. Yeah. You know what? The next guy...

I spend time with, I'm going to be open with, and maybe I'll try 69. Try 69 and then tell them, say, this is what I like, this is what I don't like. I'm like, that felt really good. Because it's the summer of 69!

Now I need to know. Would you guys... More so to you because you're married. Would you be a swinger? Absolutely not. I've been... You can say yes. I was like, wow. No, I've been thinking about... Because I follow your... I know we don't talk about pop culture. Yeah. I do follow... I've been following your stories on these mom... The Mormon mom swingers. Yeah. That are like my age. Yeah. So I'm like putting... I'm like trying to think about it. And I'm like in no... In no world can I even imagine it. I can't even get my brain to go there. Can you guys like...

I'm thinking about it. For you or to see Graham do it? Okay, I... For both. I could never even be like, that's a... I think it starts like this. Like, that's a hot couple. I could never imagine...

I'm so comfortable now, like, with Graham. I can't imagine being like, and I'm going to go hook up with that guy knowing you're hooking up with that girl. It makes me just want to, like, burst into tears. Like, I don't know. I can't even get my brain to, like... Yeah. So, I could be completely wrong because I don't know the brain of every swinger. But I feel like...

When people are swingers, it's because there's an issue deep down where they're not satisfied with their partner. These moms, for example, are all very young. They got married when they were very young. They're Mormon. So they haven't had the experience that some people get. Can you tell listeners a story if they don't know? So long story short, there's a group of mom called Mom Talk. They're all on TikTok. They're all in Utah. They're hot.

Hot as can be. They have great bodies. Their husbands are hot. The wives are hot. They have the most beautiful kids. But they're all young and they got married when they were really young. And there's a group of them who are soft swingers, which means they don't go all the way.

But they do things. I'm assuming oral, everything but sex. And the only rule is that their partner has to be in the same room as them when it happens. So like you and Graham, Graham would have to watch, be in the same room as you and another guy. And you guys couldn't have sex, but you could like do everything else. But Graham had to be in the room.

That's fucked up. It's weird. Yeah, because then the next morning I'm imagining us both waking up and going to get our coffee. And then she's like, hey, did you enjoy that? But my theory is it's because they were so young when they got married. They probably want to experience hooking up with other people and what it's like and have so many questions about sexuality. So they're like, yeah, I think they're being swingers for the wrong reasons.

Yes, I was just going to say that. I think their case is different than the average swinger. The swingers who are true swingers, I think it's more of a fetish, watching their partners get on with other people. Yeah, cuckolding. I do think that that's why it's important to sow your oats, your wild oats.

Exactly. Otherwise, you'd be so curious. What is that expression? I know it, but, like, what the fuck does that mean? It means, like, you have to get it out of your system. What oats? Like, I don't know what you're sowing. Remember you said that a few episodes ago. I was like, oats? Sowing? Get your wild...

stuff out you have to get the wild part out of your system so you're not curious like don't feel pent up like I think as humans I think a lot of us are just like we're wild and we're crazy and we're curious and I think everyone has like a different timeline like I think some people could be crazy for a month and then be totally fine being the same person forever but

I might need like a year or two years or three years and then I'll be ready. So it's like, you never know. You just have to like, you know when, you will know, I feel like, you guys can correct me if I'm wrong, when like your craziness has run out and you're ready to sell it out. Oh yeah, you know. Yeah. Like, and I don't feel it that way right now, but I feel like I could maybe in a year, six months. But you're a good example of a timeline that's different because you

You were in a five-year relationship. Like, that... I never did that, right? Like, that time I was, like, doing the wild stuff. So it's so crazy to think about now you're having so much fun and, like, you're dating around. Like, you can sleep with guys. You can take Plan B twice in one week. Like, that's an example of a different timeline. Yeah. You know? And...

Nothing wrong with it. I'm not going to say, like, I'm happier being alone versus with someone. Like, some days I'm, like... Like, last time I was sitting on my couch and I was, like, I would give anything to be, like, cuddling with a guy right now. Like, it was sad. But then I'll have days, like, today where I'm, like, oh, I love being single. I love that I can come on this pod and tell my crazy stories. But then, like, the weekend might hit and I'll be, like, I just want to be with somebody. It ebbs and flows. Yeah. It ebbs and flows. I think you just have to, like, remember when it's ebbing and flowing if it's, like...

Is it because you're bored, lonely, or are you actually ready to settle down? Yeah. So your vibe is single summer, right? Singy for the... Oh, I'm not going to sing for Josh Richards. Singy for the summer. No, full-blown single for the summer. Love it. Yeah. Love it. I'm excited. I'm excited. How many boys are coming to the birthday party? Are any of the talkies? I don't think so. Okay. I just want my birthday to be fun, and I unfortunately still let boys stress me out in like...

dictate my mood which i'm working on and i don't need that on my birthday no you don't you just need to have fun yeah it's gonna be a blast i'm so excited i'm so excited then your birthday's coming birth we're having birthday energy yes in the works of planning alex's um grammy gram doesn't listen anymore i'll say grammy for listening answer your phone text me back um buy the merch yeah buy the merch it's on sale now link in all of our bios um uh yeah

Like, comment, subscribe. Leave a review on Apple and Spotify. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok. And follow us on YouTube. Yeah, we have exciting things coming for every time we follow our milestone. But I think the merch is the best part. I've been wearing it all summer long. I know it gets hot, but who doesn't want to wear a comfortable hoodie in their apartment at night? Also, the phone case. When you look at that, I hope you're inspired to be a mean girl.

Mean Girl Energy. Mean Girl Energy. And if you have the merch on and you see us, you better run up to us. I'm going to give you a big fat hug. You know like when you see people like...

I don't know how to say this, but like, we wouldn't be like, do you want a photo with us? If you're wearing that merch, we're going to be like, we're having a photo shoot. I literally be like, can I take a picture of you? Can I have your photo? Literally, literally. I would, I would fangirl so hard if I saw someone wearing our merch. Same. Just like a hat. I just want to see a guy in a hat walking around. I want to see a guy in a t-shirt walking around. Oh,

Phone cases. Oh, guys, we're excited. I would put my panties in one of their pockets. Yeah. With a shirt. Okay, so if you buy the merch, guarantee underwear. Just put underwear in your purse and walk around with it. I should. I'll just go to Target and buy cheap underwear and just pop it. Just...

Disperse. Love that. All right. Well, Thursday, follow the Instagram. I'm going to block Jordan from the IG story and plan, do all the birthday stuff and then we'll party. Oh, also, and if you buy the merch, please tag us in your, like if you post on Instagram, please tag us. Must. Because we're going to repost all of it and post you to the feed, everything. DM us, let us know. I want to know everyone who bought it. We love you guys. Have a great day. Bye.