Down In The DMs Ft. Rudy 01:05:19

I also like I don't know I guess I've never thought about using Instagram as a way to... What? I don't know. That is fucking ludicrous. Which is also because guys have reached out to me on Instagram and I've... That's all it's for. Alright everybody welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Alex is looking a little different today. Yeah I'm Alex Bennett I went through a transition.

We have Rudy back on the pod. Back on. A friend of me. A friend of the pod. Yep. Rudy, we're happy that you're back. Thank you. Appreciate it. You guys, Alex is still gone. We promise next Monday she'll be back. She's thriving at Barstool vs. America. She's a busy, busy gal. We barely even chatted with her. Right, Alana? It's hard to get a hold of her. It's hard to get a hold of her. We called her. Rudy, are you jealous of me right now? Yeah, this is weird. Are you? Oh, I forgot. Yeah, I was like, how does it feel?

How does it feel seeing Alana sitting in your spot? This was my master plan all along. Yeah. I know. This is not the first time this has happened to me and Rudy, too. Yeah, we have a nice little racket. We always trade, like, projects. Wait, really? Yeah, we have a nice little pipeline. I step in and I produce a pod for, like, four episodes. And I'm like, hey, Alana. Hey, Alana's pretty good. Well, I edited BFFs for three or four episodes.

What? Yeah, and then I actually – they were like, we can't find anybody. And I was like, oh, I can help out. I can do it. And I was like, you know, Alana – they were like, the production team was like, we can't find anybody that's good. And Gaz said that I'd be good for it, so I did it for a bit. And then I said – I was like, you know, Alana is wildly talented. I can edit, but I can't do the graphics. You can do – you're a five-tool weapon. Yes, she is. You can do everything. In terms of cutting, I can do that, but I can't do the full –

I can't do the whole thing. And I was like, Alana was great for it. And so, yeah, now I just give it to Alana. And then it happened again with Mean Girls. Alana is great. It was like in a month span, too. Well, and it's funny, too, because you guys are good friends. Yeah. If you guys don't know, Mike and Rudy used to be roommates, right? Yeah, I live with Alana. We basically went through the pandemic together. We did, yeah.

She was our third roommate. She was great, though. Yeah. I'm not even saying that because we're face-to-face. I would tell you if you were annoying. But during the pandemic, you were actually nice to have around. Remember, I would cook for you. Yeah, you're not the annoying roommate's girlfriend. You're really actually annoying. Oh, really? You actually lived with them? No. You would do like three days on, three days off. Yeah. Actually, I thought I was being annoying. No. Really? No. I don't think you... You're not someone who can get annoying. Yeah, you're a very pleasant person. Oh, thank you. You are your wife.

I thought my space, like my person might have been annoying, you know? Yes. I mean, do you think that when someone has their girlfriend over too much? Do you think if your roommate had their boyfriend over all the time, would you be annoyed? I'm going to be honest with you. I've never had a roommate with a boyfriend since college. Oh.

Oh, wow. Yeah, and in college I had a boyfriend, so I couldn't really judge because I was like, okay, he's over, so I can't really be mad at you if your boyfriend's over. Yeah. Since then, I've only had single roommates, which I prefer, but I feel like if I liked the boyfriend, it would be fine. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I think the big thing is when they start eating all your food and they're always in the bathroom and you're like, you're in my face.

Yeah. Well, I mean, Alana would cook, so that was nice. And then also in the pandemic, we had no social lives in the beginning, like in the very beginning. So you being over was kind of. It was like fun. It was fun because like me and Mike can talk a lot, but like at a certain point, it's just us two. So when you had a third, it was actually kind of like socially like the pandemic made it. Isn't that so sad? Yeah. Kind of makes me feel sick thinking about.

Yeah. Those dark days. Yeah. It was so dark. That spring 2020 was grim. PTSD. Yeah. I remember washing a box of Ritz crackers in your kitchen. Remember that period of time where you thought that you had to like wash your groceries? Yeah. I had like, I would go, I remember I used to wear gloves. Yes. Oh my God. Oh my God. COVID episode. Yeah. Let's stop. I'm getting like chills. I'm sick. I'm like, I don't really want to talk about this. Yeah, I'm getting the chills. We're starting everyone's Monday off really dark. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that pandemic? Like,

Remember the worst time of your life ever? Yeah. But yeah, so Rudy, how does it feel being back? Feels good. It's been a while. It's been a while, yeah. What, three months? Yeah. No, two months. I don't know. I have no fucking concept of time. Yeah, same. I have zero. It could have been two years ago for all I know. Someone asked me the other day in this office, they go, so are you and Rudy still beefing? And I'm like,

No? No. I don't think we ever were beefing. No, we never really did beef, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah, we never really did beef. No. It was just a... I don't know. I mean, like, I don't really beef with people, but it was just a situation where it was like... I don't know. It wasn't a healthy relationship. Yeah, it wasn't a healthy relationship. Yeah.

We decided to part ways so we could continue a healthy friendship. Yeah. But I think since people don't see you, Alex, and I talking all the time, everyone just assumes. They're like, oh, they hate each other. But it's like, you don't really talk to many people in the office. You only talk to people you sit next to or you do content with. No, I'm still cool with you guys. Yeah. Yeah. That's why he's back today. Because we need a male's perspective. I'm that guy. On a burning question. Yeah. So...

I guess it'll be about a week since I put up the Instagram story, but...

Well, last week's episode, Alana and I were talking about one night stands and how I was saying I don't like them, but everyone on TikTok was getting the notion that I do like them. And that's why I don't get any guys because I give it up too easy. So the comments were horrible. They were like, Jesus, they were slut shaming like crazy. So I then went out there to say, it doesn't matter when you give it up because of the box theory. Yeah.

And if you guys don't know what the box series is, I'm actually going to like read it. Tinks came out with it like in 2020. I feel like that was the first one of her first like things that made her like seem like a

I don't know, like... A personality? Kind of like a lifestyle influencer. Like a relationship. Yeah, I remember seeing that. I was like, who is this? I remember seeing that video and I always think it's funny when a video starts with, I have a theory. And I'm like, oh, we're about to hear some fucking bullshit. But it like...

It literally blew up and it's one of those theories though that I... So I have a theory. But like, it's like a good theory. It is. It's almost a theory that we all knew but we didn't know how to put it into words. Yes. So pretty much, I'm just trying to figure out... So I have a theory. Men are trash. The end. Okay, so pretty much what Tinks is saying is that when a guy first meets a girl, he puts you in a box. That box can be like one night stand, girlfriend box, whatever.

Wife box. I'm glad you cleared that up because I thought she meant physically puts you in a box Yeah puts you in a kennel Finally I thought I was the only one to be clear Rudy does not put girlfriends in literal box I do not they put they put me in a kennel So she was saying when a guy first meets you but do in a box depending on what he wants out of that relationship so for example

This is what Tink says. If he if he meets you and he he's like, I want to date this girl. You could literally puke on his shoes and sleep with him on the first night and it wouldn't matter if he meets you and he just wants to hook up. You could literally wait three months to sleep with him and it's not going to change anything. So, Rudy, is that true? Like when you meet a girl and you initially first put her in a box.

No. I disagree. I actually disagree with the box. Of course, one guy. Yeah, I disagree with the box theory, to be honest with you. Okay. Can we hear why? Because I think that it's not...

I mean, I think people are just in different phases. Like, they just have a box for themselves. Like, usually when people come into a relationship, they're like, I'm not looking for this. It's like more like... Because, like, even women, everyone does it. It's like, right now I'm in this certain phase of my life where I'm more focused on my career. I'm not looking for a relationship. I got to travel a bunch. Or they're like, you know what? Like, things are going... I'm pretty settled right now. I know what I want. So I think people box themselves. And that just... You could also rephrase that as expectations. Like, I don't think...

I guess by some ways, maybe how someone portrays themselves, especially with social media now, you could maybe make the argument that someone's like, oh, if she portrays herself. Some girls do look like relationship girls on social media. Some don't. But honestly, I don't think that that matters once you meet somebody. I think that people just have an idea of what they want regardless of the person at a given moment. Wait, that's actually so valid. I feel like maybe the box is more of what's in your head versus...

The person. Yeah, you box yourself. It's kind of like what we were saying last week about guys and the time when they fall for someone. It's just like, oh, they were just looking for a wife and it was just the first person that was there, kind of. Because I guess for me...

I am not looking for a committed relationship, so I'm putting myself into a box of not wanting that. And I don't think any guy I would meet would change that right now for me. You know what I mean? Yeah, but that's the classic. That's how everyone ends up in a relationship. So then the box theory would be kind of right because if the right guy came along, you'd be going to a different box. I think that these theories...

Women have, like, an amazing ability to create these, like, fantastical, like, theories and hypotheses and all these, like, rules and tricks. I think that that's silly. I have a very hands-off approach to dating where I don't really have...

many expectations, many rules. Like I don't think about it in a way where it's like, this has to happen at this juncture. Like we got to move in this specific manner. I just look at it as sort of just like you meet somebody, you get to know them and then you sort of see where the chips fall as it goes. So when you meet someone, you've never initially been like, and there's going to be a hookup or like, Oh, I can see them as my girlfriend one day.

I mean, this is going to sound super fucking corny and pick me, but like I anybody that I see a minute as anybody that I am romantically involved when involved with, I would consider someone I would date. Like, I don't like I don't like view it that way. Like anybody that I hook up with, I think that you should just anyone you hook up with, you should at some point be like willing to date. OK. And I also view like hooking up with someone dating. Like, I guess I always have a fucked up view of dating. Like a one night stand.

Yeah, I guess not. But like that's not a planned thing. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? Like you don't go into it being like one night stand time. Okay, so if you had a one night stand with the girl, you would not automatically be like, I am not going to date them. Like that wouldn't change you potentially wanting to see them again. What's that again? If a girl had sex with you on the first night, like that's, is that going to change your perception of her if you're willing to date her in the future or not? No. No.

Thank you. I appreciate that. No, and it go, I've, I've had it tons of different ways. I've had times where we've, we've hung out for a month without having sex. And then there's times where it happens on the first time you hang out. So like,

I'm personally always more of a fan. This is going to sound so pick me again. I'm personally more of a fan of waiting in general because it's just, I think it's just always for whatever reason that tends to trend better. Well, and the sexual tension is the sexual tension is always better too. Right? Exactly. So, um,

But yeah, no, I don't think it really affects that. Like if you hook up on the first night, I don't think that that like the notion of like, oh, dude, you hooked up on the first night. He's never going to take you seriously. Like, I think that's ridiculous. Do you think age plays a factor? Like when you were because I are you 27? Yeah. So when you were 22, what? I'm not 29. Oh, OK. I was like, why is that so funny? That's why I looked at Alana. I was like, is she going to check me on this? Wait, this is even better. OK, you're 29. Yeah, I was like, did you just fucking lie on camera? Yeah.

So when you were 22, did that change? Like when you were 22, were you like, ah, if I hook up with a girl, they're definitely not girlfriend material. No. Because that's another thing. A lot of people are saying it all depends on age, which I don't believe because my five-year relationship when I was 18 started as a one-night stand and we did it for five years. So I have a question about that. Like what kind of one-night stand? Like you guys went out and went home together or were you on a date? No, no, no. We met at a party. Oh, okay. And I went back to his dorm. Nice. Yeah, we hooked up. Nice.

We didn't go all the way, but we went far. You were rounding third? I was 18, yeah. Yeah. And then the home base coach was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, it was a specific time of the month, which prevented me. But I don't think it would have changed if it wasn't because we literally –

dated for five years after that really yeah we lived together and everything yeah no i don't think age has really anything to do with it i mean that's just my personal experience i'm sure there's dudes out there that that when they're like a kid they just want to go have fun but like i i didn't really ever have any expectations like if i find you attractive i'm gonna try to have sex with you and get to know you yeah it's pretty simple so i think it's like we're forgetting what the box theory is a little bit like you decide that before you have sex with them

So you know what I mean? Like, yeah, it doesn't matter what happens after the first like decision. You already made the decision. Yeah. Like, I guess for me, when I meet a guy, I kind of have like a thought of where we envision our whole future. Yeah. And a lot of the times that like doesn't change. Yeah. But it's even it doesn't sex doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I have sex with him or not. Like, there's plenty of guys I've hooked up with and I've continued to see. So her her the whole box theory thing is that you can't.

You can't move between boxes. That's the whole theory, right? So like women are always trying to be like, oh, I'm trying to like fix this guy. So her idea is supposed to be like a form of providing freedom for women where it's like, listen, you're typecast. You know what I mean? You're typecast. You're typecast as the Joker and you're never going to be, you're never going to get a different role. Yeah. I disagree with that.

Oh. Yeah, I don't think that's the case whatsoever. I think that there's tons of people that have just started hooking up and the guy views her as just a friend with benefits or it's not serious and then it just continuously blooms and then they become girlfriend or boyfriend. See, that's never happened for me. Every guy that I like... I know, but every guy that I've had a decently long relationship with

I've like had a different type of connection with them off the bat. You know what I mean? Like there's no guy that I was kind of iffy about in the beginning and then I liked him more as we got to hanging out. Part of me feels like it's not liking more. It's more of like not respect either. Just like where are you going to fit into my life? Like are you going to... Did I just have a stroke? No.

Like you can't change like someone like someone can never become a wife in your mind or like your husband in your mind. Like if you're dating like a fuck boy, you guys have a good relationship and you like spending time together, but you would never marry him. Do you know what I'm saying? I think that I do. I mean, I'm kind of disagreeing with what they do, even if they're there. Yeah, I've been in relationships where there's certain people where it's like,

There's no there's there probably is no way that this is going to go that far. Yeah. But I would continue to date them because it's a fun thing to do. Yeah. But you'll never let it grow, though. It could. But like you can like you said, you can kind of tell, you know, but like I said, those are the famous last words. Like a lot of people, a lot of people, when they end up in a committed relationship, I think a lot like 50 percent of the time.

at the beginning they probably didn't think it was going to go there. Like very rarely I feel like it doesn't happen where you're like oh man this girl this is going to be my girlfriend and I'm going to pursue her and then she becomes your girlfriend and then it's like happily ever after. I don't think that really... I thought that. No. I mean it could happen that way but it's just I don't know. It's always what you don't expect. That's what I've realized. Yeah. Like whoever your crush is or whoever it's not going to be them. Because Instagram was like crazy so I put this on Instagram as a poll and like

90% of people said that they agree with the box theory. And I put it on Twitter too and it was like 70% of people thought that the box theory was good. I think it's because it's probably comforting. Like it's one of those things where you're like, oh, well, you know what? Like it's the box theory. I can, you know, there's nothing I can do and then whatever. Like I think that that sort of, there's comfort in like...

some other entity where it's like oh the box theory exists like it wasn't me it wasn't me you know what i mean yeah and i think too like for me example like you meet all these guys and nothing's clicking and they aren't texting you back and you're just like oh it's because i was in the wrong box yeah you're right it's a total comfort thing yes exactly that is a way to deflect like like personal responsibility about the way you treat people

Yeah. Well, you know, I never saw her as a girlfriend. Yeah. You know, I feel like a lot of girls, especially around all three of our ages, like I don't know. I feel like mid 20s, such a weird time to meet people because we're also confused. So a lot of our DMs are always like, I meet all these guys and they never want to like hang out with me again or talk to me again. And they try to figure out why. But it's like, I don't know. I have no answer because I'm in the same boat.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe this is just me, but I always view it as like a 50-50 thing. Like, I usually will wait for the other person to, like, show more interest. So, like, usually I'll not text first or, like, I'm pretty bad about that, actually. Yeah, I won't, like. Wait, we have to get into this. This is interesting.

Yeah. So a lot of the times maybe there's like girls out there that I've I've been involved with that are like, why is it like, why is the need text me? But I'm I'm of the belief that if you want to talk to me, like I'm kind of like a female in that way, traditionally, where it's like I feel like I need to be pursued equally. The pursuit, I feel like needs to be like 50 50 in my mind. So there's probably a lot of relationships I've had that just like didn't end up doing anything because I was just waiting and not doing anything. And they were probably waiting to.

Wait, so you know like the saying, girls are always like, if you wanted to, he would. Yes. Do guys think that if she wanted to, she would? That's how I feel about it. Wait, that's interesting. Because it's funny, there's a guy that I met, so there's a boy that I'm semi-interested in and I keep thinking like if he wanted to, he would, but I'm also like, what if he's thinking that about me? That's how I feel. Because he has seen out of me last.

So? What's what I mean? No, so I'm saying like... What do you mean he has to hang out with you last? No, no, no. So now it's kind of your... So he asked me to hang out last. Oh, yeah. There definitely has to be like an exchange. No, so I'm saying maybe it's on me now. I think so. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, that's how I feel.

See, I think that's like my biggest fault in life when it comes to dating is I rely on guys too much to make the decision of the relationship. It's 2022, Jordan. I know. And I do. I have been shooting my shot and like you don't worry about it then. But I feel like you have to make sure you shoot your shot in every single shot.

that you're interested in. Also, I mean, it probably has something to do with, like, there's certain guys, unfortunately, like, if you're not as desirable, you probably have to try a lot harder. Yeah. So I guess I understand that I'm kind of lucky where, like, at least I'm at a point in my life where at least I get pursued. So it sounds bad, but, like, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm just saying. I knew you were going to say that. And I just couldn't believe it. No, it's fair. I'm just trying to be honest because there could be a guy listening to this who's like, well, that's great advice, Rudy, but I'm in a different situation than you. Yeah. It's different if you know people are going to hit you up. Right. If Tommy was in this room, he would be like, well, that's how it works for you, Rudy. And I'm like, okay, I got to understand that not everyone is created equal. I feel like the Tommy smokes right now then. Yeah, not everyone's created equal. But I always view it, I just view it as 50-50. Yeah.

and I typically will need to be pursued equal amounts as I pursue you. I was, uh, I woke up this morning and I was in a little bit of a panic just cause every once in a while, you know, you panic about being alone forever. And I was literally, you panic about that. Um,

I more so panic every so often, like once a month, I'll just panic like I'm never going to find somebody. But it's weird because I don't want to find somebody now. It's more of like I just don't want to die alone. Yeah. That's what I panic about. Man, I honestly have never thought about that. That is not going to happen. Are you single? No. That's why. I wouldn't worry about that too if I wasn't single. Yeah, but you're in your 20s. Yeah, I know. But I think it's a thing of girls just freak out about it. You know what I mean? But I was doing the math of like...

how many guys I've talked to and how many guys it's like worked out with. And I was like, okay, when you break it down, you're like, it's 50-50, so things are decent. But I was like, it just can never get below 50%. Those are good odds. Yeah, I was like, the odds are in my favor at the moment. I've always found that whatever you're trying to get

Or like you're trying to achieve like a certain thing, like you don't want to be alone, you want a relationship, you want a boyfriend. The more that you pursue it and the more tightly you squeeze it, the further away it gets from you. Yeah. Well, I mean, but the thing is, like, I don't even want a boyfriend anymore.

So why do you need to be scared? I think it's like an ego thing. Because when you get rejected so many times, you're just kind of like, all right. Yeah, I fucking am terrible with rejection. I know. I think that's everyone's biggest fear. Yeah. I'm terrible with rejection. As a guy, is that something that they worry about all the time? Oh, yeah. Big, big time. Yeah, big time. I mean, nowadays it's a little bit different because, like I said, it's more...

for the women or like a woman to make a first move. Yeah. So that alleviates a lot of the pressure. But back in the day, you know, even like 10 years ago, I think it was much more the guy had to make the first move and that's pretty fucking scary. Yeah. I actually was just telling my friend that the other day. I was like, I think rejection is what holds everyone back or what holds people back the most. It's like very rare to find someone. That's probably why you like won't text the guy and ask him to hang out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but I have. True.

It's such a shitty feeling to be rejected. I've done it too. It hurts. It hurts bad. Especially when you think you got it. Yeah. That's the worst one. Like there's ones where you side up, you like pull up from half court and you're like, this might go in. But when you think you got one, you're like, this is going to work. And then it's just nothing. Yeah.

Well, the thing is with rejection too, it doesn't get easier over time. It's the one motion that does not get easier over time. It hurts the same every time. Yeah, and I think that I would imagine that for girls that probably – if I were to put myself in the shoes of a woman, it would probably feel worse as a girl. Like guys –

It's much more socially acceptable to be like, oh, yeah, I was just firing. You know what I mean? I was just a volume shooter. I was launching DMs. I was trying my best. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No one's going to really give you a tough time for that. Whereas a girl, I feel like there's probably a little bit more shame in that because you're like, I really put myself out there as the girl. Well, it's because society teaches us not to do it. Right, exactly. But there should really be no shame in it if you want to try something. You've got to shoot your shot. Do you ever DM like...

people that are like way out of your league? I have never DM someone before. What? Other than like a celebrity. That's like a before, but before Barstool. Since I've been working at Barstool, I've never DM'd a guy. You've never, you've never DM'd a guy first. That's fucking crazy. No, I. Green loves the DM. Yeah. I feel like,

I don't know. You've never replied to a story? Like a guy you think is good looking and he thinks you're good looking, like you guys follow each other and you don't reply to his story first? Like every time I get a blue check mark? Anybody. Anybody you find attractive. You've never DM'd like a guy that you were into first? Not first. Whoa. No, I haven't. That's crazy. Think about all the chances you could have had.

I don't know. I guess. That's so true. I think I have like, I have weird confidence issues apparently. I'm all I'm learning here. I'm trying to think like. I'm, well, to make you feel better, I'm the same way. Wait, do we have to mutually follow one another? No, you don't have to. I'm just saying it's crazy that you've never DM'd anybody. No, I've DM'd people, but like it's after we've chatted in a different way. Oh no, I've never slid in first. That's crazy. Um.

I don't usually do it either. I have a confidence thing too where it's like a power trip. Unless I'm really trying, I won't DM first ever. Also because I typically never works. Like it almost never works when you're the first one. I also like, I don't know, I guess I've never thought about using Instagram as a way to... What? I don't know.

That is fucking ludicrous. Which is so sweet because guys have reached out to me on Instagram and I've hung out with them. That's all it's for. I don't know. I think it's because... Am I crazy? I don't know. I think I'm crazy. Well, okay. I think you love using Instagram as a dating app. Yes. So you love it. Yes. I think...

And you like you not using it at all. It's also the polar opposite. Like I think there's a middle between you guys. Like don't you guys have DM me and we've it's worked out like I've I've met up with guys that have DM me before. I've just never slid in first. You should. You have a good Instagram account. You've a hot you've hot pics yourself. I don't know anyone who I'd want to.

I there's no way. Yeah. How do you find your victims? Yeah. Like how do you even I don't even know where you drug bar make out. Where do you even where do you even find people in the marketplace of dating? Yeah. Honestly, that's crazy. There's a certain bar in West Village that I every week and I go hunting grounds. No, I guys reach out to me and I have I have met up with them. I've DM them back. Yes. I'm just saying I've never first slid in and I'm

That I can remember. I would encourage you to try that. I think you should totally try that. Yeah, 100%. Who do I do it on? You'll just know when you see it. Yeah, whoever you fancy.

That's crazy. You're fancy. I don't know. Yeah, maybe it's because I'm still trying to get used to this world and I like forget that that's like a thing I can do. Yeah, you absolutely can do it. You just, yeah. I mean, here's, I'll give you the, I'll give you the playbook right here. Yeah, please, please. You got, you find someone you find attractive on Instagram, follow them. Hopefully they follow you back. How'd you find them? Yeah. How do I find them?

I feel like every guy I think has like a literally famous. You gotta, you gotta, I don't know, on TikTok, I don't know, or like Hinge, like a lot of people have their Instagram on their Hinge, Explore page maybe, I don't know. They just sort of fall to you, I don't know. Yeah. I guess my,

It's probably harder to find guys though, I think. Yeah. Guys don't really post. Yeah, guys. That's the other thing too, is guys don't post. Yeah, and they're all private. Guys, make your Instagram... Okay, I will say, I keep meaning to say this on the podcast every single week. There's so many guys who slide into my DMs that look cute in their little circle, but they're private. Yeah.

If you were public and I could stalk you, I would DM you back. But I'm not going to DM a private person back. Yeah, private does make it tough. Go public, please. Go public. Yeah, but here's what you do. Say you have someone that you're attracted to. You follow each other on Instagram. You just lay and wait. You wait for a story to go up. Okay, but a lot of guys don't post stories.

Yeah. A lot of guys don't read it. I know. I know. I know. But hopefully they do. Maybe wait like a few days if they don't post a story. Then you can go in.

In that case, it is easier for the guys because girls post way more. Yeah. So there's like a... You have much more of an opportunity to reply to a story. I think replying to the story is just... I post like 50 stories a day. A lot of people can reply. Replying to the story is the best option, but not always available. And then in that case, you can just make like a comment about like one of their photos or something. You can reply and be like, this is whatever. Yeah. It's just hard though because the guys... There's some guys...

Who have not posted since 2017 on Instagram. Yeah, I know. Yeah, guys are hilarious in that way. Like none of my homies post. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. Ever. I'm trying to think if there's any guys that I've seen. And Instagram is dying. It is. Like no one's going to start now. Big time dying. Yeah. It's the worst app. Yeah. No dudes are going to start spontaneously posting if they weren't.

Already. Wait, you guys think Instagram's dying? Hell yeah. Big time. What's taking over? TikTok. TikTok is just so much more gas. It's crazy. Yeah, my TikTok. Instagram should have stuck to what they were. I think that stories are still very much a thing. Like stories are still very much where it goes down in terms of people. Like people our age are very much used to posting stories. So they're more comfortable in that arena. Yeah.

And but people just don't post on Instagram as much just because there's not as much action on it. Yeah. But I still feel like people use Instagram as like the badge of fame. Yeah. And also like identification. Yeah. I don't know someone as I always like on Instagram to find them. I would never go to TikTok.

Yeah, exactly. Like I would never message anyone on TikTok. No, like I validate Instagram followers more than any other apps followers. Yeah, they're hard to get these days. That's what I mean, because it's so hard to get that. Yeah, but overall, I think Instagram is like big dying for sure. Sad. Yeah, or it's just like at least in a state of non-growth. Like it won't, I don't think it's going to, I don't think it's going to be the number one thing anymore. Like people spend the majority of their time on TikTok. And the funny thing about it is that

especially on TikTok, like you'll see a lot of new stuff just because of the algorithm and like new people, especially in your area, like NYC for sure. And then...

You see someone on TikTok and then you'll link their Instagram and then you go to their Instagram and then you go and talk to them there. It's sort of weird, but that's sort of the more comfortable route. I don't know why. That's what you do? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, but here's the other thing you probably run into is just, dude, just don't be posting that much on TikTok. Dude, just don't be posting. That's what I was going to say. And if they are posting all too much, sometimes it's like... It is weird. Yeah. I also... You have to remember, my whole TikTok is pop culture, so I'm not really running into men. Yeah.

Yeah. On the daily basis on my For You page. Yeah, I think it's crazy. I would like to give a piece of advice to the men out there. I think it's crazy that you guys don't post. I understand that you probably don't want to do it, but if you want to meet new women... Facts. Post on your stories. And be public. Yeah, at least stories. Put up some funny stories, things that are capable of being responded to. Wait, wait. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I feel like I fucking perfected that game a year or two ago. No, you're excellent at it, but you literally...

You just spoke facts because the guy I'm talking about, I've been like waiting. He doesn't post anything, but I was waiting for him to post a story. So I was like, that's an easy slide in because I didn't want to text him first. I was literally thinking about that. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. I actually, a guy that I've already chatted with a few times posted a story yesterday and I slid right in. But we already were chatting on Instagram before that.

I've had times where I've actually like had a girl, this is in the past, but I had a girl where I was like wanting to DM her and she just wouldn't post a story. And eventually I just DM'd her. I was like, I'm patiently waiting for you to post. That's funny.

That's funny. Yeah. You just got to find an angle. And the angle is easier if there's a story because then you can make a joke off the story. You can say something witty or you can just not sound like a fucking psychopath and be like, I like you. You know what I mean? But like if at a certain point you just have to find an angle. Yeah. If they post content, you have an angle. Whereas if they don't post any content, then you're just like – you're kind of like – you feel like a stand-up comedian. You're like just sitting up there like trying to think of like –

create a conversation out of nothing. Yeah. I also will say there's times I've posted stories specifically for certain guys to respond to. Oh yeah. And usually it works. Another one I used to do, this is so, I'm going to sound like such a fucking fuck boy in this, but I used to, at least you're honest. Yeah. If a girl used to, if they posted a thirst trap, I would reply and be like, I am just letting you know that I am not falling for this.

And then that's like very obviously ironic way to be like, I'm falling for it. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Like I would respond to that. Yeah. Yeah. Just let me, I'm not falling for it. Nice try. Idiot. So I think with, these are good tips. So it's like guys need to become public, post a story and maybe even a picture.

Maybe even a picture. I don't even think you need to post a picture. No, I think just a story. It's almost like Snapchatting everyone without the pressure of it being weird. Yeah. You know what I mean? I find it wild that people still post Snapchat stories. No, Snapchat stories, that's weird. Yeah, I don't even use Snapchat. I actually, you know what's weird? My friends that are my age, I have a few of them that still post Snapchat stories. I'm like,

what the fuck is going on? I'm like, why aren't you posting on Instagram stories? Yeah, post on Instagram stories. That's actually valid. It's like, what is it, 2014? It's weird. Snapchat's weird. People are weird about Instagram stories. Like, a lot of people jokingly come at me because I post too many Instagram stories, but I'm like, you're watching them. Like, it's obviously working. Like, people want to know what you're doing in your life. You know what I mean? Also, it's your job. It's a little bit different. Yeah. Like, you're trying to, you're trying to, like,

make something happen. But no, that's actually true. Like there's a few guys I know that will post on Snapchat, but they don't post on Instagram. Like post that onto Instagram.

Get rid of the Snapchat. Yeah, Snapchat's weird. You don't use that. Yeah, it's bizarre to me, but... I only use Snapchat for, like, groups. Yeah, exactly. And to keep, like, your friends that live back home updated with your life. Yes, yes. Or, like, one of my friends has a private Snapchat story only, and it's just to keep all of us girls in the loop. Yeah. But, like, no one else uses it. Yeah. No, it's weird. I feel like we got some good information. I feel like we have to quick sum up everything. Okay. Because there's a lot. Okay, so one...

Does it like a one night stand does not determine the fate of a person? No. So if you want to. What if it was really bad? Yes. Okay. But like then don't you think there's just no connection there and you probably. Yeah. That's why to have waiting to have sex is good too so you can establish a connection. Right. Well if you want to you do you. That's all I got to say. Yeah. Um.

The box theory. Where are we going with this? I'm calling bullshit on it. Yeah, me too. It's a way to shift blame. I swayed you. I've gained another soldier. I will say I think the box theory is more on yourself rather than the person. Yes. Where you're at in life versus the person. Timing seems to be everything. Yeah. Timing is colossal. Timing is everything. Yeah. Yeah.

Instagram is a great way to meet people. Yeah. Guys, public. Girls, too. I think girls should be... Everyone should be public on Instagram. Yeah. Personally. Right. One of my girlfriends actually was just here. She was private. I'm like, if you're public, guys, we slide in your DMs. But right now, they're sliding into mine asking about you, and that's not my job. Yeah. I agree. And don't be scared if your girl will slide in. Yes. I'm actually... You know what? I'm going to...

Find somebody. I don't know who yet. You're going to launch? I think so. You're going to punch in the nuclear codes and put up a missile? I think the only person I've ever slid into their DMs is legitimately like an actual extremely famous. Did they answer? Like a Logan Paul. No. But it wasn't in terms of pop culture stuff. It was like actually trying to... See, I respect that. But this is before... I've launched... I've definitely launched a couple into the void where it's like, what if? Yeah, what if? This was pre-Barstool. This was pre-TikTok days for me though. This was like 2019. Yeah.

Where I was just didn't know what was going on. But yeah, I think Logan Paul is actually the only person I've ever slid into this DMs for. Yeah. But that was probably 2019. Yeah. Oh, no. A few TikTokers too. Griffin Johnson, I did. And the list just keeps growing. What else? Who else? Like I said, the very famous people. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think those are the only two people. Yeah. Trying to think. Anything else? No. I think the Instagram tips. That was big. Instagram tips, Fox Theory. Yeah.

We went over timing. Yeah. So it's perfect. Yeah. Rudy, thanks for coming on. You gave some solid advice for the females out there and the guys. Appreciate it. Also, oh, I like that you said it's on both people to reciprocate that next hangout. Definitely, yeah. I think it just creates a much healthier relationship. I'm going to...

text somebody later today. I've inspired you. That's nice. You have. All right, Rudy. Well, thank you. You're always welcome on the pod. It was good to be back. We're so happy that you're here and everyone knows that we're not beefing. Yeah. And now we're going to jump into a little Q&A with Alex, who's back. All right, you guys. Welcome to...

Our first ever Q&A for Mean Girl Pod. Dun, dun, dun. You can sit with us. Yes. So when we were trying to get to Tenkan Instagram, we asked everyone what they wanted us to do if we got there. And everyone said that they would like us to do a Q&A. So this is it. We're doing a Q&A. We're answering all your questions. Ask and you shall receive. Don't get used to it, though.

So I think we should just dive right into it because we have a lot of questions. Fire. Fire in the hole. The first one, everyone wants to know what Mean Girl means and why we named our podcast Mean Girl. Well, we named the podcast Mean Girl because we were dubbed Mean Girl by Dave. Yes. It's very obvious in our face title for the podcast. So I think now it's more of like what Mean Girl means to us because I feel like a lot of people are like, you guys aren't actually mean. Why do you keep saying Mean Girl?

Yeah. I, okay. So like, what does being a mean girl mean to you? Being a mean girl to me, what me, it's been a long time. What being a mean girl means to me is just like knowing your truth and then standing in it and not like not being a people pleaser or not doing like short term gains or like going with the flow. It's just like, yo, I am showing up.

as you are and then just being like take it or leave it but I have standards for myself doesn't mean I'm mean just means I have standards I love that showing up as you are yeah just being you you said it perfectly the only thing yeah I mean I would just say not taking shit from anyone sticking up for yourself and also like at the end of the day always being kind but you don't necessarily need to be nice to everyone no like you don't owe anyone anything but you should always be a respectful human totally so yeah so just like

Sticking up for yourself Yes Not being a people pleaser But little things like Being nice to the wait staff Like things like that Yeah Those are Those are nice girl things That you do But it's not like Soft nice people pleaser All doing It's not doormat Yeah not letting people Walk all over you Yeah It's that energy Yes Don't let the mean person At work walk all over you But be nice to the waiter At happy hour Totally

That's being a mean girl. Yeah. Sticking up for yourself. And it's ironic because a lot of times girls that stick up for themselves and people are like, you're mean. Yeah. It's like, bro, I'm the same as you. Just a girl. Also following your own timeline. Yes. Doing. Yes. I love that. You doing you. Yeah. You doing you is what a mean girl is all about. That's right. Mean girl energy. If that's mean, you don't want to be nice.

Love that. All right. Question number two, which apparently is going to be difficult for Alex. When did you lose your virginity and how? No one's going to believe me.

They're going to be like, you liar. You know when you lost your virginity. I don't. That's so weird. I know it's weird. I don't even believe me. I don't judge you a lot, but I'm judging you for not knowing. I'll say this. There was a guy in high school that I very much so wanted to sleep with, but it was going to be me losing my virginity and I was scared to death. And I know I didn't do it with him, but then I'm like, of course you definitely did it after that. Like, when was it? The guy who lost his virginity to you is going to hear this and be like,

That hurts. I know. He's so embarrassed. Can you just DM? Not don't DM me. You probably have my number. Can you text me? Just say it was me. Just so I know. Oh my.

Alex. I know. So tell me the year, the age. I know I was in high school. I think it might've been the summer. I know my best friend, Sydney will know. And I'm going to text her and ask her. Okay. You can give us like a thought of when it was. Was it before 16 or after 16? I think it was after 16. No, I was after 16, but not far after. Okay. What about you? Um, mine was, I was 15. Who's my boyfriend of two years. Oh,

And, yeah, it was an interesting experience. But, yeah, nothing crazy. We were dating. My high school, love of my life. Did you have braces? Oh, I need to find that picture still. Yeah, I think I did. Yeah. Yeah, I did. I did. I did. Yeah, I did. Yep, 2009 grade. How? Okay. Since you remember losing your virginity, like, were you scared? Did it feel good? Did it hurt? Like, talk about it. So...

I'm sorry. You remember yours. I say that like my mom listens. So it was when my parents were on vacation and I'm a really good kid. I never had like people over or parties or anything with my parents but they left me alone because they trusted me and I had my boyfriend come over and hang out and...

And we tried to do it then and it was one of those things where it's like it goes in and then it's like immediately goes out and we're like, all right, that was fun. That was it. I mean, I think we did it a few times, but then I was like scared I was going to get pregnant. It was a whole thing. Oh, that was it. The fear of God was embedded in you. Because I wasn't on birth control yet. Okay. So that's the skinny. Yeah. But then we like started having sex regularly soon after. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Was it his first time too? Yeah. Because he was younger than me. I wonder if that's better. Yeah, probably. Because then it could be awkward for both of you. Yeah, you don't, neither of you know what to do. It would not be fun if one knew. Yeah. Okay. I think it was like May of my sophomore year of high school. So I was about to turn 16. Yeah. Because you're a June baby. I'm a June baby. Okay. Yeah. I like that story. Yeah. It's wholesome. That's like an appropriate, like, that's good. Okay. What did you do before Barstool?

Okay. Before Barstool. All right. My very first, I think my very first job out of college is more notable than what I did before this. Before this, I was working at a CBD company doing marketing in Newport Beach, which I loved, but I really loved my job right after college. I worked at an interior design firm called Jennifer Welch Designs. And she, for me, was like an inspiration, like a role model of like women empowerment. Like,

Like, she was like a hell of a first boss because she taught me work ethic. Like, we worked all the time. But, like, we had fun. She... I don't know how old she is now, but she's older than me. She has kids. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding. But, like, we very much so... I don't know. I learned a ton from her. Can you talk about...

Your reality show? Yeah, I was on it. So many people ask. They ask all the time. Okay, I was on a show called... Can I just say something quick? What? People DM me telling me. I'm like, you don't think I... Wait, I've never heard this before. Wait, well, okay. Are you serious? Yeah, she'll get it. But people will DM me and be like, did you know that Alex was on X, Y, and Z? I'm like, what?

What? No shit Like you think I don't know? Yeah I'll let you explain I don't Yeah it's just like Alex is a reality star I was on Bravo I'm just kidding No it was part of the job Like So I worked for this Interior design firm Her name was Jennifer In LA right? No in Oklahoma City Right right right And she was found By a casting agency Because she's this like Larger than life personality She has like these Liberal views And the bible belt And they were like We want to start covering Second tier cities And Oklahoma City Is one of those

And we want to, we want to feature, we want to pick one second tier. I'm trying to tell the story, right? Second tier city and have a show on it. Anyways, she had a call with the producer. They end up picking her. She would get this 10 times out of 10 because of the way she carries herself, who she is. Her designs are sick. Like she's awesome. So they make it at first. They made it just to show about her and some friends. And then the sec, and I wasn't on that season, but I worked for her.

The second season, they made it about her and our projects. So we did a 16, I think it was 16 episodes, all about flipping these homes in Oklahoma City. What was it called? Sweet Home Oklahoma. When? Um...

2018 maybe? What? Yeah. Isn't it crazy? And it was so much fun. I learned so much. I loved working for her. Like I wasn't the main character or anything. I was her employee. But we had so much fun. Like it was a blast. Is that what kind of made you want to get into content creation? Not at all. Like-

I just look back on that with like fondness and as part of the job. And then I moved on and I still did marketing. It made me want to do marketing. Interesting. And then, yeah, switch just flipped. And I was like, I want to do my own thing. But it's people. If I put up a questionnaire, it's the most people like talk about Sweet Home Oklahoma. And I'm like, for me, it's just a fun past job. Like it was a fun stage of my life, but I don't even. Wow.

Wow. I know. That's really, really funny. I think that's so cool. It's crazy you haven't talked about it either because it's such a, like people are obsessed with knowing. I know. I remember when I found out, I was like, what? Yeah. I'm just like, okay, I'll tell you. That's so funny. Mine is not that exciting. I just worked in corporate insurance and sales for four years. Okay. But it's kind of, didn't you move to New York before Barstool? Correct. Correct.

Oh yeah. I always forget about that. So I did corporate insurance. Uh, I was in sales for four years and then June of 2021, I like legitimately had an epiphany midlife crisis. I literally remember I was listening to Lana Del Rey in my car crying and I was like, I have to change my life. I'm so fucking miserable. I cry every single day. And I was like, fuck it. I moved to New York. I've always wanted to move there. I'm just going to do it. So then I'm, um, networked and I'm from through a friend of a friend through a friend, um,

I got a job at a digital marketing agency in New York that was remote, moved to New York. And in that process, I happened to interview with Barstool and got the job. Worked out very well. Yeah. That's crazy. And then I got my job at Barstool, which is another question. People want to know how we got our jobs here. Over the summer of 2020, it was July, Barstool held a TikTok talent search where they literally were like, post your TikToks with this hashtag, Barstool talent search. And

If you guys don't know, I do pop culture. So I make like eight videos a day. I was just throwing them out there with like Barstool TikTok talent search, Barstool TikTok talent search. And I guess one of them caught their eye and I got an email to interview. I met with Gaz and then I didn't really...

From that, I didn't really hear from them until the middle of August, but I remember they followed me on TikTok and I flipped shit. I literally freaked out because I was like, oh my God, this means I'm in the running. They followed me on TikTok. Oh my God. Yeah. It was legitimately the coolest moment of my life. I like screenshotted. I freaked out. And then, so that was like three weeks after they initially held the competition because I was like, okay,

It takes a while. I'm not going to get discouraged. But then I realized they only followed a few people. And I was like, I bet we're all the top contenders. Yeah. And then they interviewed me. Didn't hear from them for like a week or so. But I was so busy moving to New York in that process. So I didn't care too much. And then Gaz emailed me again. And he was like, hey, can we do another interview with you? And I was like, this is weird. But I actually live in New York now. I moved already. And he was like, what? What?

So then I came into the office, interviewed, and then three weeks later I got the job. And it all happened so perfectly. I honestly don't know if they would have picked me if I didn't live in New York. Right. Because, like, that could have been the reason why I got the job. Because they were like, oh, it's easy. She lives in New York. Yeah.

And yeah, that's how I got my job. Wow. It's crazy that you already moved here though. And you came and interviewed in person. That's cool. Right? I was already here. Yeah. Um, but I've been doing Tik TOK for a year at that point. So, um, I was a full year into my like content on the side journey. Timing was on your side. It was. And I've always wanted to work at bar. So I want to work at Barstow since like 2018. Um, so this was like a dream come true. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, totally. What about you? How did you get your job here? Okay. So Dave put out a tweet, uh,

June of 2021 And he was like We've now produced Like the top two Wait Exact same time When I had my epiphany Really? Yeah That's funny June of 2021 Okay yeah It's the exact same time You put out I don't know if you guys Remember the tweet Last June Yeah Last June That's crazy Last June He was like We've now produced It was when Alex Cooper Had just left He's like We've now produced Two of the highest paid Female podcasters

in the history of podcasting, um, not bad for a sexist company as a joke. And they said, who's next? So I saw that tweet and I was like, Oh my gosh, I was like, I'll do it. I want to apply response back on Twitter. Me. No. So I took, I took my mom. I was like, how can I set myself apart? And I was like my mom. So I made a pitch as a joke and I called it, call your mommy. And I made an intro video of my mom and I was like five minutes long

And I showed, I had been making TikToks of her for like three months. We were new, but I called it my digital resume. And I was like, I really want to work here. You guys don't have a mom like.

Can you do a mom-daughter duo? And I emailed it. I like upgraded to LinkedIn premium for a month. Got everybody at Barstool's email addresses I could find. I emailed like 21 people. I sent them the link. And then Gaz emailed me back like a week later and was like, let's set up a Zoom call. Do you shit your pants? There's a video of me. I was like screaming. I was so excited. That's so cute. I was so excited. Then we had the Zoom call.

Next day he texted me. He's like, yo, can you FaceTime with Dave in 30 minutes? Oh my gosh. I woke up from a nap with 10 minutes of that time left. And I was like, and I was like, yes. So then I just like FaceTimed with them and then they were like, email me and we'll like get it set up. So I like, I lived in LA at this time. I uprooted everything. It was like move within like two weeks. It was wild. It was so fun. I wouldn't change it for the world. It was crazy, but it was a blast.

That's so it's also so crazy how this happened for us pretty much at the same time because you only started you've been here like too much two months longer than me but like our process of getting started happened at the same time. Yeah because we didn't start our podcast till like when you came.

Yeah. Oh, because I said so, you mean? Yes. Yes. But then I see what you're saying. We didn't start like our process of applying. Yeah. Sorry. That's what I mean. Our process of applying happened at the same time. Yeah. That's crazy. I remember I was a fan of Alex's before I started here because I saw you. You came across my For You page on TikTok and I was like, this is crazy.

This little bitch works at Barstool. How did she get my dream job? She has my job. I was so... I followed you out of jealousy. Obviously, I thought you were hilarious, but I was like, I'm so jealous. She has this job that I want. And you lived in hotels. Yeah. And I thought that was so weird, but I thought it was so entertaining. So...

When I first interviewed at Barstool, I walked past Alex on the street. I told you this. You were getting Starbucks. Oh. Yeah. And you walked... I was leaving the office and you were walking into the office. Oh, my gosh. And I was like, oh, my God. That's Alex. There she is. That's Alex.

Oh my god I know I was like what the I was like this is crazy But yeah I remember I followed you because I was like She works at Barstool and I want to work there so bad It's such it's a this I will say this This place is a blast It's crazy It's crazy it's but I love that we started though And just didn't like each other Okay we that's a question a lot of people ask too Someone said would you guys have Would you guys have been friends in high school Or in like your past life You know what do you think

I think we would have been not first ring friends, but right on the outside. I think we would have been on the outside too. Yeah. I don't think I would have known what to make of you and you would have known what to make of me. Yeah. Cause I feel like both of us don't like go out of our way to become close with people. We got put in a situation that forced us to.

Like, I feel like we're very compatible, but you and I don't, like, go out of our way to just randomly expose our whole life to a person we barely know. No, and we're both... We're very different, but we are highly compatible. But we have to be... It has to be, like, number one. Yeah. Or it's like, I can't even deal with it. Yeah. Like, I feel like business partner...

Turned relationship was our best bet because we're so compatible as like a business partner, but we're also compatible as a friendship, but we wouldn't have seen the friendship, but we didn't have the business first. We never would have. Yeah. No shot. I also feel like I wouldn't have been that close to you because I,

I mean, actually, maybe because you are married. A lot of my friends are married back home. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. The podcast first couldn't have worked out better. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. But that's a lot of people ask like, would they would you guys have been friends with podcasts? I'm like, well, we wouldn't if me girl didn't start. We probably would have just kept going our separate ways. I swear. I don't think we'd be friends. No, we wouldn't. Yeah, we would. I would have been like a passing like, hey, Alex, I think you're great. That would be it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's so funny. It's hilarious. It's so crazy to think how our life has just unfolded. You can't draw it. Oh, my God. Okay, next question. What's the most psychotic thing you've done to a guy? Have you ever been a psycho girl? Have you? Would you like to go first? I want you to go first because of that face. What if yours is not that psycho and mine's crazy amounts of psycho? Oh, I'll go first because mine's not that crazy. Okay. Mine's not either. Okay.

So I've been a psycho girl like three times in my life, but I'll just talk about the one because it's more relatable. So after I ended things with my five-year relationship, I like started to get – putting myself out there, like not like sleep around, but like hook up with guys.

And I still had that like relationship mentality in my brain. So I was like acting casual, but like was relationship minded. So there's this one guy that I was like my one of my first one night stands and I actually liked him. I was like, crap, like I'm not supposed to like anyone yet. I'm supposed to have fun, but I actually liked him. He was a total fuck boy. Like he knew what he was doing. And I remember after our first date, this is so embarrassing. I literally was like, so what are we?

After our first date and I got like, I became psycho because he was like, what the fuck? Like, what do you mean? What are we like? He wanted nothing to do with me relationship wise. And I like legitimately turned into a psycho girl. I was like, I didn't like freak out, but I was getting like,

Okay, that's so funny. I don't see that from you. Right? And then I would like text him all the time and be like, can we hang out? Can we hang out? And I was just psycho. Oh my gosh. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, but also like he was a fuck boy. Right, right. He's okay. You're better because of it. And you wonder why I have commitment issues. Yeah, this probably stemmed from this guy. Okay, when I was in, I think I was a sophomore in high school. I had a boyfriend and my friend's... Sorry, s***.

Yeah. You don't need to go down with me on this. Can we bleep her? Okay. We both had boyfriends and I, you know, I was mischievous. So I, so I texted her and I'm like, I got this idea cause it was summer and we know how I feel about, you know, when the weather gets hot, I was like, here's what we're going to do. We're going to have, we're going to see who can kiss the most boys that aren't our boyfriend. Okay.

Or do things that are absurd and we're going to keep tallies. Did you have a boyfriend at the time? Yes, we both did. And then we're going to report back our numbers. I won and I'm not proud of it.

And that's crazy. How did you get away with... I don't want to say cheating on your boyfriend that many times. Yeah, then I felt... It was a good idea for a week, and then I was bawling, crying, and had to tell him. How old were you? I think I was a sophomore in high school. That doesn't really count. No. It doesn't really count. How did you keep it from him? Well, because... Well, okay, so...

It just like different groups. There's so many different groups to work with in the summers, right? Like you're at the lake. You're not. I'm small town. Your town was large. Yeah, this is a large town. I was at the lake a lot. But all this is and he wasn't even like a serious boyfriend. But all this to say, like, that's right. When you said I was like, that's crazy. That's hilarious. Yeah, it's more funny. It's crazy in a different way. I like that angle of crazy. Yes. It's like, what was that?

That's funny. Yeah. Another question we had was what relationships we had before... I guess yours would be before grandma and mine would be before I moved to New York. Did you date anyone before Graham? I dated... I had a high school boyfriend. And then in college, I never really...

I dated guys like I don't think I ever dated a guy past like seven dates. Okay. I would go I would like hook up with them or something like that and like be talking to them. But I can't remember ever being like full blown. You're my boyfriend for like six months ever.

Did you have like Besides your high school boyfriend Another person That you called your boyfriend Before Graham Gosh not like seriously No Okay Not anybody One guy met my parents Other than that Not Nothing like that Isn't it crazy How serious the term boyfriend is Yes Like the older you get The scarier it becomes How many boyfriends have you had Um

three. Like significant ones? That have been... I've only called three people my boyfriend. Okay, that's a good number. Yeah. I had two in high school. One was two years, the other was a year, and then my college boyfriend was for five years. Yeah, that's a long one. Yeah, and then after that, I...

have talked to guys um for like a longer period of time but I've never called anyone my boyfriend yeah it actually is nice to act to have the term because it's real talking you do a lot yeah yeah and like it's hard though because I am so which summer fling thing is going to be hard because I'm so it's so hard for me to talk to multiple guys at once so all these guys who weren't my boyfriends were like exclusive in my head but they know I wasn't necessarily like exclusive to them right because I wouldn't call my boyfriend um

But yeah, so like I would talk to guys and I'm like, they pretty much were my boyfriend because I was not talking to any other guy. Yeah, they filled the thing. That makes sense. Yeah, the cup. But yeah, that was my dating life. Wow. I know. Love. Yeah. Okay. How to be confident when you're average looking? Okay. What do you think? I think the biggest thing is...

So confidence is 99% of life. Fake it till you make it. That's the key to success. Is this fake fire drill going to... Yeah. Oh, I didn't even hear about it. I'm going to shut that down. Yeah. We're pausing, guys, because there's a fake fire drill going on at the office and it's interrupting our episode. Thank you, Alex. I feel like...

Well, one, I would hope you have a good personality. If you have a good personality and you're funny, like you should have all the confidence in the world. I know easier said than done because like I struggle with things. I struggle with confidence. I obviously have the funniest personality ever. I'm just kidding. It's hard. Confidence is like a truly a trait you have to develop a skill. It's a skill actually. Correct. Like you're so confident. How do you, what do you think?

I know. I think for the guys, I, I not to echo exactly what you just said, but it's confidence. You said it though. No, like that's what you said, but it's confidence. Like you're just said confidence. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm like, it is. That's the answer. She said, how are you? Yeah. How are you confident? I thought you were asking the guys, like, how are you confident? Like, how are you? I feel like.

I mean, one, it's all about how you stand and your posture. Yes. Says everything about you. But it's like the energy you bring. That's nice. Why? Where's that coming from? We have a fake fire drill going on. Where's the light coming from? Is it right there? Oh, yeah. You can't see it. Yeah, there's a fire. I'm blinded. I wonder if they can hear. It's all right. Do you think YouTube cares? Okay. No, they don't think it's funny. Yeah, I mean, I feel like... So I'm trying to think of a few guys I've talked to who aren't like the cutest. But the thing is, it's like...

They approached me in a very confident way, very calm, confident way, in a very, like,

Smooth way It's all about the smoothness Because there's nothing worse Than a guy approaching And just being like Holy Oh my god But it's like They're very like Smooth with it I think they You know what else I think Okay because I've been out with you When you've been like That guy is so confident He's hot Like his confidence is hot I've heard you say that Multiple times But also Okay In a previous episode We talk about this I think When you call yourself Not that good looking You're not that good looking

Just know not a lot of people want the hottest guy. Yeah. Like, I don't think the competition's as stiff. Like, don't downplay yourself like that. Like, I bet you're good to go. Like, okay, think about your visualize yourself at your favorite bar and there's people walking through the door.

You see extremely hot people walk through the door. You see them extremely, or like average looking people walk through the door. The people that catch my eye are the people that like have this vibe of unbelievably, unbelievable confidence. Like I was just at a bar the other week and there was attractive people walking through the door and there was some like really pretty girls walking through, but they were slouched over. They just, you could tell they didn't like have a lot of self-esteem. And then there was like more average looking girls walking through the door who were so unbelievably confident. I was like,

Like, I was like, damn, if I was a guy, I would want to talk to you. Yes. Like, you can smell confidence from a mile away. Yeah. You know, those guys you've seen, you're like, man, if he just dressed better or like he'd be cuter. The same thing goes the other way, where it's like if he was just a little more confident, like you'd be really hot. Yeah. I also think, OK, so put yourself in the mentality of what a gold digger means. Right. Somebody that's like wants to find somebody that's rich. OK, that's.

That is terrible. But I'm talking like how these billionaire guys are dating really hot people. Like an 8-year-old man dating a 25-year-old. We could probably assume what's happening. In some scenarios, if he's literally...

Like the richest man in the world. Yeah, and he's like 90. Okay, so there's that level of thing. But take that mentality and apply it to a lot of people aren't drawn to looks, but they're drawn to something. And a lot of times I think that's confidence, kindness, and compatibility. Yeah. And I think that takes care of itself and people will sacrifice looks all day long for that. An average looking guy who's dressed the part and has an unbelievable amount of confidence is the same as a extremely hot guy with...

lack of like no personality and lack of confidence I think they're the exact same for a day and then and then the guy with confidence just like wins like I always think about when I was in high school like I said I was not cute and one of my good friends was stunning she was like girl that like every guy got or every girl no every guy wanted every guy wanted and I wasn't cute and I had to literally create a good personality and her personality like wasn't the strongest um

And I remember like I would sometimes guys would talk to me. I'm like, it's solely because I have a good personality and I'm fun. Right. Like and at the end of the day, like that's that stays forever. The looks the looks will fade. Like just get like that good personality. How do you describe confidence? Like what things have confident people done in a bar that makes you be like, oh, that's that. That's it. Well spoken. Very straight to the point.

Like they'll go up to you and be like, hey, do you want a drink? And they don't question themselves. Like, would you want a drink? They go, no, no, no, no, no, no. They don't say, hey, do you want a drink? They go, what can I get you to drink? That's confident. And you will notice yourself like catching that, like even talking to another, like a guy. I've said a few times, like instead of being like, when do you want to hang out? I go, let's hang out.

I love that. Yeah. It's being more assertive. I also think everybody has something to say, but confident people usually say it. Yeah. So I think if they have an opinion or they have something to ask you about, even just asking you a question like, where are you from? That takes confidence. Yeah. Not just like, oh, you're cute. Like, OK, tell me about you. That's a that's a confident approach. It's different. Yes. I like that. I like that, too. So, yeah, just like we have any takeaways for this question. Comfort, literal confidence. Yeah. Just dress good.

You know how to dress. Buy those commission slim Lulu's or ABC pants. Yes. You just put me on the commission slims. They are it. They are incredible. I didn't know what they were until you and I was like, oh, hot damn. Right. Okay. Okay. Last question. Where we're from. Yeah. So I'm from a small town outside of Minnesota.

I'm from Minnesota. I'm from a small town outside of Minneapolis, St. Paul. It's about 45 minutes south of the Twin Cities. It was about 20,000 people. What's it called? It's called Northfield, Minnesota. Northfield. Okay. Yeah. And you're born there, raised there, high school there. Yeah. Born there, raised there. And then I went to college in North Dakota, North Dakota State University. And then I moved back to Minnesota. And then now I live in New York. Cool. How about you?

Born and raised in Oklahoma City, Edmond, Oklahoma. Went to the University of Oklahoma for college and then moved out to Newport Beach for two years with Graham and then lived in L.A. for a year and then moved to New York. Love it. That's it. A little timeline. All right. That was the Q&A. I hope you guys enjoyed a little short Q&A ep. Yep. Happy Monday. Make sure to subscribe everywhere you guys know the drill. We love you. Have a great rest of your Monday.