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many things we don't think about, we don't talk about because we just glamorize one night stands. I know. And they suck. They do suck. Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to another episode. Obviously, this one looks a little different because it's just me and Alana. Alex is still out, but don't worry, guys. She'll be back next week. So don't cry. But since Alex is gone, we're going to talk about being a hoe because...
because there's only one of those in the room right now. Nice. Just kidding. But since summer is around the corner, I feel like that's the best time for people to embrace that ho period. But honestly, I hate calling it a ho phase or a ho period. Can we have a new name for it? It almost reminds me of Mean Girl Pod. Yeah. It's like you're owning this title that someone's giving you. Yeah. I will say I feel like
back in the day being called like a slut or a hoe was so bad but now I feel like we use those terms so casually yeah like no one really gets called I think the c-word is really the only one that still matters like if someone calls you that it's like that hurts that hurts yeah like even when I joke around my friends I'm like
Oh, I don't even know if I want to say it. No, no, no, no. I never do. No, but I'm like, you're a little slut. Yeah. You're a little hoe. Whore is still a little iffy for me, too. I don't like that word. Yeah. The R is like harsh. Yeah, no. But since summer is literally around the corner, I feel like so many people pick that season to start their season.
We'll say spicy phase. I like that better. They're like they're spicy season, spicy phase. I've had plenty. Well, actually, no, I really haven't had much of a like spicy phase because I was in a relationship for five years that we've discussed. And then from 20, let me think, 24 to 25, I had a little bit of that. But then COVID hit and that kind of took away like the prime years of my life.
My hoe phase. Maybe you're in it right now. I am, but I'm so, it's like a roller coaster. I'll have like three weeks where I'm just going crazy and then I'll have three weeks where I kind of buckle back down and I need to just embrace it and just like get out there. It's getting warmer.
I know More skin showing You said that before I know It's definitely The vibes are gonna change I know And I need to Be more consistent Like I said last week I need more of like flings So like the guys I meet I need to like keep up with And not be like Oh I need a relationship With them I need a little A little fling with them Mm-hmm
The biggest thing for me when I was in a five-year relationship was I always had in the back of my head that I'm going to regret never being single because I started dating someone when I was 18. I dated them from 18 to 23. And I just stayed in that relationship because it seemed like the thing to do because that's all I knew. I was very comfortable. I just want to preface, literally one of the most amazing human beings in the world. Nothing against him. We just wanted different things.
But always at the end of the day, I always thought, am I going to regret being with the same person for the rest of my life? Because I've never experienced anyone else besides my college boyfriend or my high school boyfriends. And I feel like until you get that out of your system, you can't like have that partner you want to spend the rest of your life with. I know. I'm actually like really, I guess, confused about the people that
I was like, well, this is not the time to say that. I'm confused with people like no hate. Just I'm genuinely confused. The people that marry their high school sweethearts. Same. And like had never broken up and like ran off, got back to like, how do you know? How do you know that they're not horrible at sex? It's kind of like the way I think about it is if I was gay,
like actually a lesbian and no like
And I've been having sex with guys my whole life. And I'm like, I don't like it, but I feel like we're just not supposed to like sex. Then I have sex with a girl and it's like mind blowing. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. And you're like, oh, I was I was lesbian. Yeah. I just wasn't with the right person. Yeah. Because I used to think that, too. I for a long time didn't like sex. And I was like, I'm just not a sexual person. I don't have a good libido. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I am extremely sexual. I'm very horny. I just wasn't with the right person who met my needs. Right. Right.
So that's like so valid. I know. It's like scary. It's so scary. And for me, I love being alone or I don't love me. I shouldn't say I love being alone. I love being single. And I don't think I could get in a relationship with someone until I feel like my like I said, I hate saying whole face like my my phase is like over and fulfilled because even though I've been single for a very long time, I've only had probably like
six months total of being kind of like a slutty Jordan. Yeah, you were COVID single. So it's like not the same. Exactly. And even before that, I had... My year after my relationship, I was just kind of lost. I was young. I didn't know exactly how to be a hoe. And then after that, I was like, okay, this is fun. How did you transition from being wifey to hoe? Wifey to hoe. So it was not a clean transition. It was...
So remember last week how I was telling you about the one time I was psycho? Yeah. That was the first guy I was kind of like a hoe with. And obviously my brain still had like the girlfriend brain on. Because I was like, oh, we've had sex once. We've gone on one date. We're going to be a boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, he likes me. Yeah. No, that's not how it works. So I feel like too, it took me a full like six months to a year to even like figure out how to be a hoe. And how did you? Well, so...
I started going on the dating app like immediately. So, okay, I'll be honest with you. I gave myself like a good few months to,
to like just chill like yeah no I didn't go crazy right after I know people are like just rip the bandaid off and go I was in a relationship for five months I didn't know how to speak to another five years sorry I didn't know how to speak to another guy right so I just kind of like took time and then I moved closer to the city in Minnesota and I like got on the dating apps something honestly just clicked in me and I realized it wasn't that serious and I started going on the apps and literally I
pretty much like going on any date like I remember one time it was like a Saturday night and my friend ditched me and I was like fuck it I'm just gonna go on that and see if a guy wants to go on a date so I would just go on a date and my first experience I kind of ripped the band-aid off was I went on a date in Minnesota the date was horrible one of the most boring guys I've ever met in my entire life but he was so hot so I syndrome literally hot guy syndrome and I
The date was like an hour and I made up a lie and I was like, I'm so sorry, but like I actually have to get going. My friends are having a birthday party and I said I would meet them out later tonight. So I go out, I meet...
my friends and I start talking to this random guy and I bring him home. And that was my first one night stand I ever had. Um, thankfully I didn't like the guy a ton, so I didn't have it in the back of my head and be like, Oh, we're going to keep seeing each other. But that was like kind of like the rip of the bandaid that started the whole face. And after that, I just started going on on dates at the bar. I would go and talk to guys. I would bring them home. And I just did that for a while. Um,
And as soon as I was like getting ramped in my, like getting ramped up, like kind of becoming an expert in the area of COVID. Expert hoe. Literally like literally then COVID hit. All right. Two questions. How many one night stands have you had in your life? So when you say one night, like, so there's to me, there's like two one night stands. There's the person that like you have sex with and you really never speak to again. Or there's the one night stand where you have sex once and you kind of chat a little afterwards, but you just, it's like literally one and done.
Both, I guess. If I reveal that, it might be too much information. More than one hand. Okay. Okay, it's not crazy. No. Less than two hands. Oh, less than two hands. Okay. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. Because what happens to me, a lot of times with me, what happens is kind of what happened with, we'll use Ted for example, like I meet a guy and
We hook up. I usually do like them, but they just don't like me back. So then he chooses never to talk to me again. I have a lot of those type of one night ignorances. I've actually never had a one night stand in my life. Wait, really? Yeah. Have you had like a one night hook or like not hook up like doing stuff like one night make out or one night make out? Yeah. Yeah.
like a diff mo like dance floor make out love a good diff mo yeah but I've never had I've never like I've never gone home with I've never someone's never I've never touched someone's pee pee for the first time and never again I've not heard someone say pee pee and since I worked at a preschool that's why I said it wow yeah are you okay with that yeah because I I don't like
I think for me, like part of sex is like emotional. Like I like the buildup. Yeah. I was going to say, honestly, like you're not missing out. Like do how, okay. Another question. How many times in a one night stand have you come? Uh, zero. Yeah. Zero. Right. Yeah. That's what I always thought. I, I completely agree with you. I feel like sex is so emotional. Like the only time I ever have good sex with someone is if I really like them.
So, there's like three guys I can think of that I'm like, I really enjoyed having sex with you. But those are guys I was in some type of a relationship with. I don't care what people say. Maybe when I hit 30 and I start having sex with older guys, it'll be different because we're all more... Like, we all know what we're doing a little bit more, but...
I've never hooked up with a guy in one night and been like, wow, you rocked my world. Yeah. I came four times. This is amazing. I'm usually like, this was uncomfortable. I know. I think it takes, honestly, I think it takes time for guys to become like attracted to making girls. Yeah.
Like, they're like, oh, this is fun and this is part of it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, young guys don't give a shit. We glamorize one night stands so much because of the movies and TV shows. Yeah, they make it seem so hot. But I feel like it's like, I did feel bad about it in college maybe. I was like, oh, I kind of want to do this, but I can't get myself to. And I had a boyfriend for a while. And then I realized one of my friends, like, all she ever did was have one night stands. Yeah.
And she, so she was having sex a lot. And she said something that like alluded to the idea that she never had an orgasm before.
And the rest of us were like, whoa, what did you just say? I don't remember exactly what she said, but it became clear that she never had, right? And then I was like, oh, so it sucks. It's actually the worst. Yeah. Because that's crazy. She was having sex all the time. Literally, I was always kind of jealous. Yeah. Because it looked so fun. And in the morning, you would have your little...
recap combos and everyone's like, Oh my God, like he was hot. But then I realized like, Oh my God, like you're probably having the worst sex ever.
ever well in one night stands like I don't think they're fun like I would much rather have like one night makeouts like I love making out why is that so much fun it's because like there's no baggage that comes along with it that is like the theme of the summer I feel like I drunk bar makeouts drunk bar makeout summer because when I moved to New York I remember in the beginning of the podcast I said I don't do casual sex anymore because it's not fun like I
I think of the baggage you have to deal with. I'm not on birth control. So I have to think, Oh, did we use a condom that birth control? I'm not. So we can get into that, but I get that goes into, okay. That goes into, um, you should always have safe, safe sex. And now you're like, well, do I have to go get tested? And two, um,
Did you use a condom? Because I'm not on birth control. Do you tell people that? So... Well, I also think you should just be wearing a condom with a stranger anyway. Always. But when you're blackout, who thinks of that? Yeah, totally. That's the thing. That's why I like...
more like committed sex because you guys can we can be smart yeah because I don't want to have to wake up and spend fifty dollars on plan b because I don't remember what happened last night it's not fun like would you send a venmo request no really I no I have not
I should. Well, I'm also I'm also over like I don't the times I've had sex in New York. I I didn't go like I didn't want this sounds bad, but I didn't like want to. It was just like we were both drinking and it happened. You know what I mean? It wasn't like I want to have sex with you so bad. I've been so content with like a make out. Yeah. Oh, that sucks when you take plan B for no reason. Yeah. What was the first time you ever took plan B?
So the first time I ever took Plan B was before COVID. I hooked up with one of my coworkers. No. On a work trip. No. Wait, that's actually awesome. Yeah, it was so much fun. That? Wait, did you expense it? That would have been a good idea. But I was on birth control at the time, but we didn't use a condom because once again, we were drunk.
So just to be safe because I'm a psychopath. Like literally. Oh, wow. That is a little like psychopath. With my first boyfriend, I literally was on birth control. We wore a condom and I made him pull out. I was psycho. Wait, oh my God. Because I don't want kids. I don't want kids. Yeah. So I was like, I'm not. Just the pill you're on? Yeah. I had the IUD for a bit too. Wait, I want to hear that story though. Like with your coworker. Having sex with my coworker. Yeah. So this was like...
When I was ramping up my phase, I was, like, getting good at it. And I was getting more comfortable talking to guys and not getting, like, emotionally connected to them. I went on a work trip. There was, like... It was, like, a...
Like a trip where... So I was in sales and what happened was every year they would hire a new group of kids that were part of this like sales school where they would teach us how to like be in sales. And they were all like... We were all anywhere from 21 to like 30. It's kind of like barstool. Yeah. So we would all go on a week-long retreat essentially together and just learn the basics of selling, what products we were going to sell. So it was me and...
10, 15 other girls and guys my age, and you would go out every night. You would drink. The next day, you would go to class. That's so funny. I can't imagine you in sales class, but okay, continue. Were you cold calling? Yeah. I was full-blown sales, corporate insurance. Wait, my friend does that. Guy Carpenter? Oh, my God. They're more of the property and casualty side or...
Yeah. Yeah. That just sounds like the most boring sentence. Yeah. But I do know, I do know Guy Carpenter. Actually, Guy goes to me for that. Worked at Guy Carpenter. Oh, really? Yeah. Back in Minnesota. Fuck him. From New York too. If you're listening, I hate you. Just kidding. So,
So anyways, we were there. Most of the people there were in a relationship. But you know when you kind of enter a room for the first time, everyone browses and picks their roster of who they think is cute, who they start to fantasize. I don't know about you, but I'm like...
Yeah. Like even when I started at Barstool, I did that. Like we all do it subconsciously. Like these are the guys we think are cute. These are the guys that I'm like, Ooh, I wonder what, I wonder what you're packing. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. So that happened. There was this one guy I sat next to the first day and I didn't really think much of it. He was just kind of like a flirt.
really smart, but I was like, whatever. And then as the week went on, we just kind of formed a group. It was like me and a few other people. We were just hanging out. And then I truly don't know how it happened, but because I like, I never thought anything happened. We went out that night to celebrate the end of like our little graduation. And next thing I know, we're making out at the bar. Our coworkers are around us. But when I say coworkers, I mean like all,
Like, all 23-year-olds. It's not... But is this... Are these people in your office? No, no, no. All across the country. Okay, I love that. There was nobody from Minnesota there. Okay. There was no higher-ups. It was literally all us, like, 20-year-olds. Right. Having a blast. What did they think was going to happen? They probably want that to happen. Oh. So you have, like, a good, like, rapport across the country. You know what I mean? Dude, corporate insurance is a...
Corporate America is a dirty industry. Let me just tell you that. Everyone has stories. Yeah, yeah. It's probably worse than here. A hundred percent. So that happens. We're drinking, making out. And the next thing you know, I'm going back to his hotel room. We're all in the same hotel, too. And we had sex. Woke up the next day. Everything was fine. Honestly, like we were planning on seeing each other again. I actually bought plane tickets to go visit him to where he's from. But then COVID hit.
wow i kind of forgot that that's kind of hot i know it was so exciting like i literally bought plane tickets to visit him and i was gonna visit him for like a weekend and i don't know what was gonna happen but then yeah covid happened we canceled our flight we talked a little bit like on and off for like six months and then no for like a year but then and then i left now he's like
What? Leap out my, the company name. I love my old company. And now he, he's also left. Well, that's cool that he was like not in the office. Only way I would have done. I would never have done it with someone. I actually was going into the office with every single day. What do you think about office relationships? So like inter office and watch yourself.
I know. I know because you're dating someone from this office. I know. I'm kind of like torn because I think what I experienced was so much fun, but he wasn't in my office. He was literally in a different state. I don't know. I feel like that's perfect. That sounds like really fun. It was so fun. And also like we would like slack each other. That's so cute.
Yeah. And we also were like a little competitive with one another because we were in sales. So it was fun. But I don't know. Office relationships are hard because it's dangerous if you get involved with someone who's higher up than you. That can just end very badly. I think like a lateral hookup is fine. But you just have to deal with if things go south, like you're going to see this person every single day. Yeah. Like.
You and Mike are in a relationship and you were co-workers. Yeah. We shared a desk. Which I think is actually so cute. It was kind of crazy at first. But you were in the same position. We were in the same department. I guess same title. Totally different. Wouldn't work together. He wasn't your superior at all. No. Yeah. I think that's fair.
fine no yeah so it was good because we never had to work together we were in meetings together all the time and he like won't sit next to me in meetings still yeah that's so funny like not even me yeah everyone knows yeah i mean like we live together we have a dog like we've been dating for like three years at first it was it was probably gossip but also everyone i hate to say this word ship
Everyone like shipped us before we like, like, I think people like put it in our heads that we were like in love. You know what I mean? Like we were just friends. Yeah. We were really like best friends. And then everyone was like, oh no, there's something going on there. And then eventually something did go on, but I don't think anyone was, so I don't think anyone was like shocked. Also the office is way smaller than. Yeah. Um, obviously when we moved to this office, they put us on opposite ends of the room. Yeah. Yeah.
But yeah, I think we're really good about it. I think people know just because they know and it's something that maybe comes up in conversation like, oh, their date. Like, you know what I mean? But we don't talk at work when we get lunch. We were we meet downstairs like we don't wait for each other in the lobby. Yeah. You know what I mean? We come in at different times. You're very mature about it. Yeah. We try really hard not to like we don't talk at work like unless we need something from each other. Yeah.
You would never know unless I would never know unless I knew you. Yeah. And like that was something I never thought like I would do. But yeah, it just kind of happened. We were together like all the time. Like and I kind of know realize something was like simmering there because I would like when everyone from work would go out like I would only care if he was there kind of thing and we would just sit in the corner and then I was like, oh.
At first, it was kind of crazy. Yeah. And obviously, when you first start a relationship with someone, you're just horny all the time. Yeah. So it was weird at work. We would just stare at each other and text from across the table. The table was as wide as the one you're sitting at. I feel like the sexual tension would be so intense. I don't want to...
Like, yeah, because I'm, like, we're at work right now. Like, I don't want to, like, say. The saying, like, you never should shit where you eat is so true. But I feel like you guys did it so, you were so smart about it because you and Mike were truly very good friends before you started dating. Yeah, and also we didn't, like, tell anyone for months. Like, we didn't, like, come out and, like, people would know just because, like, we would go out with people from work and stuff. But we never, like, shared it with, like, officially for probably, like, seven months. Yeah.
Wow. Because like we just want to make sure. Yeah. That's the thing too. I think sometimes people might jump the gun a little bit with an office relationship and you can't take that back.
people will talk office relationships are fine but you really have to like weigh the pro and cons and realize like there are going to be consequences if it doesn't end well and you'll be prepared for that right like i think you have to do you only should do like you have your type which just sounds so fun and awesome and like can just like live in your memory no one has to know yeah but then like the the relationship thing i think you have to wait until you know it's like gonna work it
it'll work you know yeah at least for for a few years like it can't be like a six-month relationship because that could like it sucks it could tarnish your reputation no one will forget that and every time you're in a meeting together people will think oh is there tension there you know what i mean it's just like it's like high school it's like it's high school if you break up like you're gonna have to see their face every day and it's like do you are you willing to deal with that emotional trauma yeah in your place of work so you can't leave it it's like an added layer of like
She's drama. Yeah, drama. But it makes work fun. Like, I feel like office crushes are the best thing. Yeah. Because, like...
I have so many office crushes that come and go. Will I ever do anything about them? No. But it makes work fun. And like when I see them, it just makes like, it's just like more fun. It's like, it gives you a reason to dress up. Yeah. You have a little pep in your step. Yeah. Most of the office crushes I've never spoken to in my life. They're just people I've seen from afar. So it's just like, it's just, it's all like, truly it's all fantasy. They probably don't even know who I am. But like the thing with me is I, I,
I have like this weird two week timeline in my head where every single guy I like lasts for two weeks and then it fizzles away. If like nothing's done about it. Like it happens with every single, even with the guys I like meet at the bar and hook up with, I'll be obsessed with them. Like psychotically obsessed. My friends are like, you need to chill. And then two weeks will go by and they'll bring them up. And I'm like, who?
Because I'm such a zero to 100 personality. So I'm like, all right, in two weeks, the crush will change. But it's fun. Okay, guys. We have super exciting news. Mean Girl Pod has their first ever ad.
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whole phase story but i wanted to talk about orgasms because friend you were saying has sex a lot but she's never really experienced an orgasm would you rather okay have sex with any guys you wanted but never or have like like fine sex with any guy you wanted but never have an orgasm or have sex with one guy for the rest of your life and have an orgasm
The second. Yeah. Well, also, I think I like I said, I never had a one night stand. So maybe my answer is a little biased, but I think that's a clear that's that's the easy answer. Yeah. Like it sounds dumb.
But it's also something we're all, it's like something you battle with because a lot of people, like for example, someone in a relationship, they might look at someone like me and be like, I'm jealous. I wish I could do that. But it's like, if you're having good sex and you're having orgasms, you're a lucky girl. Like, so if you hook up with someone and they don't, like they finish and you don't, what do you do in that situation? Do you say something?
Well, it depends on the situation. So I have not had sober sex in a long time. Okay.
So with a new person, I wouldn't say anything. Like, I just don't feel comfortable doing that. But with my past partners, like guys I was in relationships with, I would be like, no, no, no, no, we're not done yet. Or also when I got comfortable with a partner, I knew how to like make myself orgasm. Yeah. So I would know like what position to do. So if he was getting close, I could be like, okay, now I know what to do. So I can come and then you can come or we can come together. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like you need to... He needs to do you first. Yeah. Like, you have to, like... Coming together is fun, though. Right. But I don't think that's... I feel like that's not likely for, like, one-night stands. I haven't... That's the thing. It's like, with one-night stand, too, it's so messy because it's, like, usually you're drunk. You don't, like... It's just, like... I feel like you have to coerce him to, like, do... To, like, go down on you first or something. I don't know if I want a one-night stand to go down on me. Okay. So, funny you said that. I...
I feel the same way. I actually feel like giving someone head or them giving you head is way more intimate than... For relationships. That's way more intimate than having sex, right? You know what's so weird? I was literally thinking about this this morning. Because eyes open. Literally as I was getting ready because I was thinking...
When I'm hooking up with someone, I know some people have the mindset of, oh, I want to rock their world so they can remember me. But I'm also like, why would I want to give a guy I'm just randomly hooking up with the best sex of their life? Like they want that they can treat me like a queen and date me and then I'll give it to them. Yeah. Like you kind of have to save something for. Yeah. For like when you guys are together, I guess. I don't know. Like I'm not going to give anyone a blowjob until I'm like seeing them.
Like, it doesn't need to be my boyfriend, but, like, seeing them regularly. Yeah, like, why the fuck would you do that? I don't... Why would I put your dick in my mouth? Really? I don't know you! I don't know you! You could put it in, you know, but, like... You could put it in other holes. It's way... I think that's way more intimate. And kind of, like, you don't want to give them the satisfaction. I also don't want... Like, I guess a guy could finger me, but I don't want him eating me out. Yeah. Like, also, do you... What do you like more? Yeah.
Like, do you prefer eating out or getting fingered more? I'm odd and I prefer fingers. That's an interesting question. I feel like it's because I've never had a great experience. I feel like a lot of guys don't know how to eat girls out. Yeah. Like, I truly don't think they know how. You have to do both at the same time. Yeah, but how many guys have done that?
guys don't I think you have to verbally tell them they're not like right I don't know I feel like there's so many crash courses on how to give a good blow job but nobody knows how to eat a girl out appropriately that's so true I don't I don't know and I feel like vaginas are also different too where it's like dicks are pretty much like yeah every vagina is different yeah yeah and but like I I'm not I'm not coming from getting eaten out really yeah never never ever
Never ever? Never ever. I know it's like kind of sad, but I don't think I've had like great sex in my lifetime, which is so sad to think about. Wait, so when you're talking about getting fingered, you mean like internally? Yeah. That's so funny because I, for my whole life, was like, oh, I'll never, never come that way. And like now I do. Yeah. I never, I was like, because you know some people are like, oh, like you need, like they're...
internally or externally like stimulated like yeah i was like oh that's me i'm more active i'm the right partner with long fingers i guess well when alex was talking about like vibrators i'm more external than internal when it comes to that yeah but with a guy i like know exactly really that's like i was actually talking to some of my girlfriends like a month ago and they were like i've never i've never come that way from a vibe from getting fingered like
Like I'm not. No, no. Sorry. Sorry. I've never come from just getting fingered. Oh, sorry. No, I should. That's what I asked. Yeah. I just prefer that over getting eaten out. Oh, OK. Yeah. Because like you never you've never I've never. Oh, maybe I have. I shouldn't say I never have. But I when I think about how I orgasm, it's a certain sex position. Yeah. With a dick inside me. Yeah. OK. Yeah.
That's like, that's, that is how I remember. Okay. But I haven't, I haven't in so long. Yeah. That's why I think you had to say something. You just stand up for your rights. You can't let these guys push you around. I know. I know. But I need to have sober sex first. Yeah. I also need to have sex with someone I have like a connection with. Maybe less, but like more sober. Like two glasses of wine. Yeah. That's the perfect. Yeah. 30. 30.
Because, you know, you say, like, when both people drink, like, everything just becomes drier. Yeah. Like, that's another thing. Like, that's why drunk one-night stands aren't fun because, like, your body's not working the way it needs to work. Totally. Like, there's so many things we don't think about and we don't talk about because we just glamorize one-night stands. I know. And they suck. They do suck. Well, I don't know. I just, from an outside perspective. No, they do. They look like, they seem like they suck. Because then you have to wake up the next morning and you're like, okay, is this?
do I leave? Like, do I stay? Do you usually go to their house or have them at your? No, they usually come to mine. That stresses me out because like, what if you want them to leave? Well, that's what I mean. I'm like, are you going to leave? Yeah. And then, but also that it's like, if they leave too quickly, you're like, oh, that hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Like stay the appropriate amount of time. Yeah. But like, what is the appropriate amount of time? Coffee?
Or no? Is that too much? Well, that's the thing. It's like if I like them maybe, but I have never really liked. Like you don't care enough? No. I also haven't like, I don't remember. Would you do it in the morning with them? No. Really? I feel like morning sex is so intimate. Yeah. Don't you think? Because it's like you have like bad breath, like you have no makeup on. No, right. That's. You're a little smelly. That's vile. Yeah. Vile. Like a stranger. I know.
But, like, remember, I've only had sex twice in New York, so I don't, like, have a lot of experience. But I love a good dance for makeup because it's no baggage. No, yeah, that's the vibe, I think. Yeah. Or, like, my favorite is you're, like, having a dance for makeup, but then, like, you guys go to different bars together and you go to, like, more of a loungy bar and you're just kind of, like, sitting near each other getting all touchy. And, like, that's, yeah, that's, like, the night. But they don't need to come home and we don't need to have sex. You can sit in a booth somewhere and make out again. Yeah.
I love a booth makeout. Mm-hmm. When I'm really drunk. Me too.
I don't know when this happened, but I used to hate PDA. Now I'm like, fuck it. I don't care. When you're drunk, it's fun for sure. So fun. It's like, who cares? Who cares? Yeah. It's a one night scenes are weird. Yeah. This summer. I don't foresee myself. Like I said, I would like to have sex, but with someone I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like you want to make out with a lot of people. That's like a more realistic, like fun angle to the whole phase. A hundred percent. Yeah. But like,
Like, cause I don't care how drunk I am. If you are kissing the right person, like, you know how to kiss no matter what when you're drunk. Like you just, your tongue is just so like, with like fluid, I guess. Oh, are you a big tongue person with makeouts? Yeah. Oh no, no, no. I, I'm not. I, I like tongue. I was just wondering, but like not too much tongue, but I do like tongue.
Are you a biter? No. I hate when people bite me. Do you really? Yeah. Because I, or like a sucker. You know how some people suck on your lips? Oh, yeah, yeah. It has to be very gentle. Not gentle, but when it's over the top like a vacuum. It's like, okay, I've made out with people who bite my lips. And I'm like, if you don't fucking stop biting my lip, I'm going to punch you in the face. Yeah. It shouldn't be a bite. It should be like the way you bite. Yeah. I don't know. Like a Kit Kat?
Like a little light sucking Not like a Something hard Like a carrot Do you know what I mean Yes I know exactly what you mean You're taking a bite out of something that's gentle You don't need force Now I'm starting to think about making out Stop it's just us two in the room
I know. I feel like I love making out so much. Like, I think it's so fun. And also, I feel like you get to know someone's personality so well through it. Yeah. I actually think it's like more telling than sex. 100%. Is that crazy? No. I feel like it's like it's another language. Yeah. Because there's people that you wouldn't expect to be good at making out. And you make out with them and you're like, holy shit. Have you ever made out with someone that you were like so excited for and then they were like the worst kisser ever? Yes. Yeah.
That like sucks. More times than I'd like to admit. That sucks. That's why when like you make out with someone and like out of all the guys I made out with, I know exactly who my top three are. Like I will remember them as being the best kissers until someone takes their place.
And I don't even know how you teach making out. I don't think you could be taught it. No. It's something you're born with. And it's also just like the rhythm has to just go together. Yeah. Like when you're not simpatico. Yes. That's worse. That's why I think making out shows compatibility. Because if you're not... Like I said...
I'm more of a top and bottom now with my lips. But before, I was fully a bottom. But what if I'm also making out with someone who's fully a bottom? It's not going to work out. Who's going to be the top to your bottom this summer, Jordan? Well, I need three guys. I have some dates for next week, though. Oh, really fun. It's been a while. It's been a while, and I have two dates. Are you – anyone you're excited about in particular? So they're friends of friends. Oh, I love that. That's so, like, realistic. Yes. So I think –
I mean, I've been on dates with friends of friends and they've never necessarily gotten better or worse, but I'm more comfortable going into them. Yeah. Also, they know they're vetted. Yes. And they also know my job and what I do and they're OK with it. Oh, good. So I'll keep you guys posted on that in a few weeks. I think they're both next week. One is for sure next week. The other one might have to be the week after because that's two dates in one week is exhausting. But I think it'll be fun.
But yeah. Also, I have a question for you. Okay. So there's some thoughts that have been running in my head that I need to, that I was like, wow. Like, you remember how you'll just be chatting with your friend and you're like, wow, that's like a really interesting take I never thought of, but it's so true. So I was having dinner with one of my friends the other day and she was talking about how... I hate the rowdy. I know. It's like... I'm like...
It always just cock blocks us. Yeah. Can they hear it? I don't know. Yeah, for sure. Can you guys hear the radiator? Yeah, I can see it coming through on the... Whatever. So what was the question? She was saying how... Because we were just talking about how guys in New York, like, they want to settle down more in their, like, late 30s versus guys in Minnesota are willing to settle down when they're, like, 23. Right. And she was saying how it doesn't matter...
Who the girl is. Like, when a guy's ready to settle down, the first girl he looks at will be his wife. I could not agree with that more. It's not about the person. It's about the time in their life. Yes. Like, sometimes I think, like, girls pick guys. Like, they look for their soulmates and guys just, like, find their girls based off timing. Yeah. It's like, okay, I want a girlfriend. I'm ready. Like, she'll do. Yeah. That's why I think so many people are always like, how did this guy and girl get together? It's like, right time, right place with these two. Mm-hmm. Like...
It doesn't matter. That's why girls need to stop trying to change guys because it doesn't matter who you are. It literally matters on the timing for the man. Right. It's almost like you have to leave and come back in five years and then he'll change and you'll be just there. Exactly. And he'll be like, oh, I chose you. Exactly. I know. And now that I think of it, I feel like a lot of the guys that I've seen are just not in the...
this headspace. So I need to stop beating myself up. It's not me. It's not a me problem. It's a timing problem. Yeah. Cause like, I truly think even for me, if I met the guy in my dreams, I don't think I could settle down. Yeah. I'm not ready to, I haven't, I haven't like gotten,
the whole my whole like whole phase out of my body I think I'm like 50% through it but I don't know when the 50% is gonna like leave you know what I mean yeah like labor day yeah but I do I don't think I'm gonna like look and be like he's the one I think I'll still search yeah okay yeah it's not just like the only person in the room yeah I'll like I'll like definitely search but I'm saying like even if I met a guy of my dreams right now I'd be like sorry I don't think I
I can date you. Yeah. Commit. Like, I don't think I can commit to you a hundred percent. Um, that's fair. I like that. Yeah. It's very mature. Yes. I'm, I'm very, I might have a lot of crazy thoughts, but I'm very self-aware, which is all that matters. Yeah. Like you could do anything and you'd be like the craziest person ever, but as long as you're self-aware, it's like, it's okay. Exactly. I know. I'm, I know a lot of things I say that come out of my mouth are psychotic, but I'm like, I'm aware of it. Um, and then another thing is I have,
A tip for... I guess single guys to more so for the ladies. The best way to accomplish like finding a fling this summer. Oh, love that. What is it? So...
I know it's so much fun to go out with like a group of girls. But the larger number of girls you go out with, the less likely you're going to talk to a guy. Okay. Because I've thought, I always think like, when have I found a guy to make out with? Or when have I found a guy to like bring home or talk to? It's always been when I go out with one other girlfriend. Yeah.
Mm hmm. And like I think I was thinking about I'm like, why is that? Because when you're out with a group of girls, it's very intimidating. No guy is going to approach a group of girls because it's like, OK, I'm not going to be rejected by one. I'll be rejected by the whole party. Yes. You know what I mean? Girls are intimidating. We scare the shit out of guys. I'm intimidated. I'm intimidated. You wouldn't go up to a group of 10 guys.
But you go out to two or three. Like with Ted Lasso, he was pretty much standing by himself. That's why I approached him at the time. And he just so happened to be with a group, right? Yes. But like the group wasn't tied to his hip. So it's like two, it's a girl, the group of girlfriends and me like divide and conquer. Um, but I'm realizing like go out with one other girlfriend and be each other's wing women in a sense and like work together to find a
like one like one guy at a time yeah almost sell yourself as like a like yeah you can come up to and talk to us and we'll accept you kind of thing yeah yeah like more guys will approach you because you're less intimidating uh-huh you also look like you're more available totally and also you're more likely to get free drinks because the guy's not gonna buy a drink for six girls but he'll buy a drink for me like one maybe two girls yeah
So I was just thinking about that. Wait, that makes a lot of sense. And I feel like people don't do that often. Well, maybe they do, but you don't go to like a club or like a bar, like a, like a real bar. Yeah. With one person very often. Cause it's like a lot of commotion, like power in numbers, I guess, but it is working against you probably. Yeah. I've been going, I think that's why I've been like getting, getting these like random hookups.
happening every... Like, all of a sudden, because I've been going off, like... I've been going off the group of my friends, but me and one other friend, like, usually we'll divide through the night. And it always ends up being me and one other girl. Mm-hmm. And... And that's when you get approached? That's when I get approached. I don't like that. Like, one of my best friends is coming into town this weekend, and...
Like, we'll go out on Friday, just us two. I mean, anyone else can join, but, like, we'll probably just go out, us two, and I feel like that's when I'll thrive in my environment. Like, it's just what you got to do. It might not be that fun, but, like, ladies, if you're serious about finding a man. Yeah, I mean, like, I always say that to my girlfriends from home because we always go out with our guy friends. Always. It's, like, so annoying. Yeah.
I mean, no, they're the best, but like, of course, not one guy is going to come up and approach any of you if we're surrounded by 10 guys. Like, of course not. Yeah.
I mean, I don't have this issue because I'm still working on getting guy friends, but I'm sorry. If you go out with your guy friends, say goodbye. Say goodbye. You might as well just stay home. You literally might as well stay home. Like, you have to realize if you go out with your guy friends, like, you're saying goodbye to the opportunity to meet a guy. Yeah. And same with guys. If you go out with your girlfriends, no girl, no girl will approach you if you're with another girl. I disagree. I disagree with that. Really?
If I, like, am very aware that, like, a guy is with a girlfriend or, like, two girlfriends and, like, they're clearly friends, I trust them more. Going back to, like, the... Aren't you scared, though? Of what part? Like, the girl, like, I feel like the worst feeling in the world is when you talk to a guy and, like, his girlfriend, not, like, girl, like, that's, like, a girl that's a friend, like, gives you kind of, like, a look. Like a glare almost. Yeah, I guess I'm giving too much credit that they are nice and, like, want the best for their friend.
Because I know when a girl approaches my guy friends, I'm like, oh, like I, you know, I facilitate this because I want everyone to enjoy themselves. But I don't know. I kind of feel like it, at least maybe from the guy's perspective, if you're trying to get a girl, like go off by your own with a guy. Yeah. Be like, oh, like tell your girlfriend to come over and your your female friend to come over and like vouch for you. I don't know. I don't know. Girls are scared the shit out of me. Yeah. Yeah.
I guess I'm imagining like a sweet girl. Yeah. Some girls could be really mean. You said people in Minnesota, girls in Minnesota are mean. I feel like they're just territorial. Yeah. Okay. Like I do feel like the girls here have actually been pretty pleasant about their guy friends, but I also feel like here, like they're like truly girl and guy friends. Like back home. I feel like the girls always have like secret crushes on their guy friends. I just feel like I've had like the best things in my life with just one other person.
you're so right because you get into shenanigans you do yeah it's hard to worry about like six people yeah and like though like your one girlfriend that you're with will just like wing woman you and follow you like vice versa if they find somebody yeah this is fun that way i like that plan yeah that's gonna be how you guys start shooting your shots and it's easier to shoot your shot this summer too when it's
When it's just you and one other person. And then your whole group of friends don't see you getting rejected. It's just your one friend seeing it. You don't come back from that. No, you don't come back from that. Do you have any sober activity? For sober activities, yes. I have two. So one, I'm going out to dinner tonight and I'm being good. I'm not drinking because I'm trying to teach myself you don't need a drink just because you go out to dinner with your girlfriends. Do you feel like waiters and waitresses pressure you to order a drink? And they're kind of annoyed if you don't order a cocktail? Oh, I guess I've never not ordered one. So I don't know.
I more so feel pressure. Not that my friends have ever said anything, but I don't want to be like the lame one, even though they would never think that. Yeah. That's definitely in your head. Yeah. But I'm trying to teach myself like, okay, I don't need to have it unless we have plans to go out after. I don't need to have a drink. I feel like it's a habit. And like, sometimes I don't even like drink the drink I just ordered. I just got it. Cause like I'm out to dinner. Right. Yeah. Um, and that's, but my sober activity I'm doing is I'm going to go to a psychic this weekend. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah.
gonna get my life figured out a random one or like one you picked out i haven't found one yet my friend that's visiting we always do psychics together it's just like something that's so cool i know and we haven't done one in so long and i feel like there's so much going on in my life it'd be interesting to see so if you have any recommendations or if any i guess uh this is already long past so i can't get your recommendations but if
Do you have any, Alana? I don't know if I believe in them. But I do think it's, like, cool. Like, I like it. So I'll be honest. I've been to a lot, and none of my – nothing's come true. Do they tell you contradictory things? Yes. Okay. Very. There is one thing, though, that sticks out. One time I went to a psychic, and they said I would meet my soulmate when I'm 29, and I'm kind of holding on to that. Because it's the only thing that's, like – I like that. Yeah, when I went 10 years ago, they told me I would meet my soulmate when I was 16. And I was like, you're just – because I was, like, probably 13 at the time. Like –
yeah did you be mike no i met mike when i was like 22 what is your sober activity for the um i've been literally obsessed with pilates oh yeah like i'm obsessed with it honestly this is so lame but it's like changed my life really yeah that's amazing like i go i'm trying to go like to the reformer class like with the machine not just like floor yeah the machine like two three times a week and it's like
I just love it. Like, I don't know. I've never like loved working out like this before. See people like I, I love working on. So a lot of people always ask me like Jordan, how do you stay motivated? It's not, it's all about finding the workout that you like to do. A thousand percent. Like I like enjoy, I don't see it as like a chore, you know? Yeah. Like I love it.
I wouldn't, I hate yoga. So I, if I had to do yoga every day, I would never work out. Uh-huh. Oh, you don't like yoga? No. I just feel like you would like plies. I want you to come with me. I want to go so bad. Okay. And I feel like too, like you're, I've seen like physical changes on you and I'm like, I need that. Really? Yes.
your body looks fantastic especially when you were like the crop tops i was like damn thank you i see your line i'll keep going now keep going yes your your abdominal oh my god in that one one podcast episode where you had a crop top on you were laughing you could literally see your abdominal line i was like oh my god alana it's you don't see changes on yourself you know yes exactly and it takes especially since like um i don't see you every day too
like and i also never see you without a shirt on but when you wore a crop top i was like damn on yeah it was like the winter before too yeah but like not even like that i just like love going that's good it's so good like i like it's so good and important to find like a workout you like yeah people always say that i'm like dude shut up like you're annoying now i feel like that annoying person that's like oh i love like crossfit or yeah and also too if you're in new ordea city it's a great place way to meet friends yeah i mean i
friends wait really yeah yeah so I have to tell if it's a new instructor I have to tell them in the beginning oh I have like a leg thing broke my leg whatever and they're like oh okay I'll keep an eye on you like we could do a modify and I was sitting I was on the machine next to a girl that was like oh my god I I have a back injury I broke my back and lies is like the only thing that's like helping me like
physical therapy wise I'm like me too and then we walk together we got a smoothie wait stop yeah that is so fun it was really it was so like oh I just made a friend wait I love that that's another great way to meet friends in in a new place is join a workout class yeah especially one that's like communal based like this the place I go it's like very like people have like memberships and they like they always are like talking to the instructors the instructors know you kind of thing I love that yeah
okay i want to go with you though i think plaudits would be a lot of fun yeah um but yeah anyways guys i hope you have a great rest of your monday hope you guys are enjoying the monday morning drops make sure to follow on instagram tiktok twitter subscribe to the youtube channel leave us a review on apple and spotify and have a great rest of your day
