Hot Guys Aren't Hot 47:03

So what we're learning right now is I don't have trusted men. You have math. You don't even trust me. She's abandonment issues. Every time I text her, she's like, are you quitting? I'm like, bro, I just wanted to see where you are.

R-A-A-B. Hit us with the Elon Musk. Musk? Must? Musk? You've got to know. Please tell me you know. Elon Musk. Okay, thank God. You're an event. Okay, so Elon's back like he never left because he hasn't left yet. So he still wants to buy Tinder, obviously. Tinder? Sorry.

News, breaking news, Elon Musk is buying Tinder. Tinder does come into play here. He still wants to buy Twitter. Who can blame him? He now, last time he had, he did a $48 billion offer, $43 billion offer, but we didn't know if he had the cash. Okay, it's confirmed he has the cash. I know. I asked. Wait, can you repeat that number? 43 bees. Billion. So he's got it.

Because we know Elon's worth like around $200 billion, but he doesn't actually have that in his bank account. Yeah. So somehow, I don't know what he's done. He's gotten the $43 billion. Anyways, he wants to do a Tinder offer to the Twitter shareholders basically saying, okay, because the board's annoying.

So at this point, he's like, I'm going to go to the shareholders and I'm going to say, here's what I'll pay. Are you guys in or are you guys out? And if they say, which I think they will, if they say, yeah, we're in, and then the board blocks that, okay, that would be a shitty scenario where literally Tinder would be blood and Carl Icahn would be circling above as a shark, I would think. So...

Also, Jack Dorsey, who's the founder of Twitter, he's being cryptic. He's a board member, so he can't hate the board, but he's liking Elon's tweets. Elon's tweeting Elvis songs. Elon's fucking with everybody. It's a mess. Elon is back to couch surfing. He sold his house. It's couch surfing. He owns a 375-square-foot...

in Austin, Texas that he paid $50,000 for room. This is what this man's doing.

Don't you love him even more though? I'm madly in love with him. He's couch surfing. He's so down to earth and humble. And he's just like, I want to buy Twitter for the greater good of the people. We need an edit button, freedom of speech. I'm going to get it. I'm going to go to the shareholders. And I'm also going to smoke pot. Yeah, I'm going to go around the board. And it's just like Elon. I love him. I know. So we love Elon nonetheless. What a sweet, sweet man. Right? He makes me really happy. Doesn't, isn't he just like inspiring? He makes you want to buy a Tesla.

Tesla's earnings report came out and analysts were literally shocked. It was like $3.3 billion for like a, it was their highest quarterly earning yet. But that goes to show it's like people don't buy products. They like the product. They buy product because they like the person behind the product. He's an inspiration. He is also like his marketing tactics and him just in general is genius. And he's couch surfing. Right.

What would Elon do? That's my new motto. That's genius. WWED. WWED, baby. Also, something I just want to say is it feels so good to say good morning. I haven't said it yet, but it's nice that we can say good morning to everyone. Oh my gosh, it's Monday morning! Monday morning! I forgot! I know! I am so happy. So, obviously, you guys, when you're listening to this, it's Monday morning because Alex, Elana, and I just had a revelation. We're like, why don't we... What the fuck are we doing? Literally, I'm like...

We're like, wait, why are we putting it out on Monday nights? Why do we make ourselves come to the office Monday morning to record, to put it out Monday? What kind of an idea was that? Not an Elon idea. We were not working smarter. We were working harder. Like, 100%. Also, Monday morning, why do I want that to be my most hectic day of the week? That's when we should be in your ears. Exactly. That should be our most...

Not relaxing, but most fun. I don't even know. It's a coveted moment because it can be scary, but if you have this podcast, I think it's better. Yes. So now you can listen to us while you're getting ready, while you're driving to work, while you're taking the subway to work, while you're working out, during the day, lunch break. Make your Monday better by listening to Mean Girl Pod. Yeah, if you hate your job.

That's where I do it. Most of us do. I used to do that all the time back in the day. I would literally listen to podcasts in my ear as I would work and they would get me through my entire day. Really? Mm-hmm. Do you think finance bros do that? See, it's hard to say because I feel like finance bros are so... You think so? Yeah, I don't think they... I don't... Literally...

I feel like all I picture for finance bros is them yelling on the phone, doing cocaine, and freaking out and yelling at people. Have you seen The Wolf of Wall Street or did you just ironically do that? I literally, that's all I, when I think finance bro, I think of Wolf of Wall Street. Leonardo. Jordan Belfort. Oh, what a, he was kind of iconic.

Something about him was so inspirational yet again. He's like back on social media. I follow him. He is a very, very motivated, motivational man. Is he actually a motivational speaker? I believe now he is. Yeah. What a turnaround from what were those quaaludes? Were those pills they took? Quaaludes. Quaaludes. From quaaludes to motivational speaking. Oh, what a turnaround. What did we do last night? Oh, boy. Well, we did a few things last night.

We decided to start this new project, which is going to be so much fun. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun.

We're going to go around to different bars in New York City and rate them based off of different things about how good it is to meet or how great it is to meet guys. Not good, but great. But great. You caught yourself. I know. How great, fabulous, and phenomenal it is for you to meet boys. Yes. Guys. Sorry. I don't even know. Have we titled it?

Uh, no. Why would we ever be so organized to title the new segment that we put out? That would be absurd. I guess it's just like Mean Girl Pod Stamp of Approval on Best Bars in New York City to Meet Guys. That's such an easy title. Say that again. Do you even remember what you picked? Mean Girl Pod Stamp of Approval on Best Bars to Meet Guys in New York City. Okay, do the acronym for it. MGP. MGP.

S A Stamp Of Approval Do you do the of? No Okay S A M G Meet guys N Y C NYC Okay Okay Okay wow yeah We're not titling it that

The name's a work in progress, but you guys get the gist of what the scale is. The problem is, last night, we thought the best idea in the world would be to use the 666 scale. You know, like, because there's the 666. Jordan, say your 666s. Yeah, so 666 is, it's the ideal guy, which is if you're over six feet, you make more than six figures, and if you have a six-inch dick or bigger. Okay.

Totally applicable in that scenario. Terrible for bar ratings. Terrible for ratings in general because we were rating like four to six people were like, that's so low. And we're like, it's actually like an eight out of 10. But if you look at it, you're like, oh, wow, that looks really low. And if you don't know what the six is like, the three sixes are, then you think we're like into the devil. And it's just like, it's just not a good idea. So I forget about that.

As we always do, we're going to rescale it. Moving forward, we're going to be on a scale of 10. You know how most people do trial and error behind the scenes? We do trial and error up front in front of everybody. We think out loud. Yes. On Instagram and TikTok. We say something and we immediately do it. This is coming from the two girls that used to go on dates and live tweet it. Photos of people. I don't know.

I mean, how's that for thinking out loud? You pivot. So yeah, so we have a scale. It's three tens. The first ten is going to be the girl to guy ratio. So if you go to a bar, is there going to be a good amount of guys for a girl to actually go up and talk to? The next is going to be attractiveness, how hot the guys are. And then the third is going to be like a flirtiness vibe of if you actually have a chance to talk to these guys and potentially go home with one of them.

Let's do it for last night. Okay, so we went to Fidei. We can say the name, right? Totally. We went to PJ Clark's in Fidei. What's Fidei? Oh, sorry. The financial district. So it's literally right off of Wall Street. Um...

That's like the best way to describe it, right? Yeah, it's kind of like we were there last night and it was cool because we were saying everyone knows what Wall Street is. And to be at the bar right by it where all the guys that work on Wall Street, all the guys and girls that work on Wall Street go to right afterwards. Like you can't do that anywhere else. It was cool. It was cool. And also, I mean, I don't care who you are. Everyone thinks the finance bro looks hot. Is there something about the suit? What's the deal? The Navy suit, the slim cut Navy suit. Oh my God.

I'm just thinking about it. I'm like, whoa. Were you foaming at the mouth? I literally was. That one guy that we all know who I'm talking about. Ooh. Ooh. He looked good. Actually, let's talk about that guy. Yeah. He was very, he was tall, dark, and handsome. He had a great suit on. Yeah. When he walked by the first time, I thought I saw a wedding ring. Then he did this thing. He walked by two more times and he had his left hand in his pocket. Yeah.

Interesting. I wonder if that was strategy or just coincidence. He kept looking over at you, so I'm going to call it strategy. I think so, too. And it's funny because back in Minnesota, that's the first thing I always did was I always looked at the guy's finger because people in Minnesota get married all the time early on. But in New York, a lot of people aren't married, so I didn't even think of that. So when you thought of that, I was like,

Alex, thank God, because I would have wasted my time on him. 100%. He would have let you waste his time on him. I know. He was down, but you wouldn't have known. I wouldn't have known because of a little trick. Or like Alana's boyfriend, Mike, came to hang out with us for a bit last night, and he was saying like one time he was out and a guy took off his ring. Like guys are full of tricks. Those rings are not glued on. No, they are. Ladies and gentlemen. That's why you get tattooed. They can't be tattooed on. Yeah.

So just gotta be careful of that. Correct. But yeah, like overall, I... Oh, oh, oh!

I interrupted. I stopped myself. I'm so sorry. It's our golden rule. The only thing we have done from start to finish is keep that rule. That's true. Wait, what were you going to say though? I just, I wanted, I wanted you to rate it. Yes. Okay. So we kind of come up with new ratings because last night we did 666. Forget last night's video. Yeah. So I would say, okay, so the first one is... Ratio. Ratio. Literally...

A thousand to one. There was, what, four girls there and three of them were us three? You guys, everyone was in black or navy. There was one girl wearing a pink suit. Yeah. Was there? She looked fire. See, that's the problem, though. You guys both saw the one girl in the pink suit. And we literally... We stuck out like sore thumbs. We also were not wearing the correct attire. We weren't even close to the correct attire. Everyone's wearing suits and...

It's like worth going to if you're in New York just to see this. The amount of men. Because it's actually like, what would you say? 97% guys? Yeah. That bar was 97% guys. Yeah. All in suits. Yeah. So ratio wise, I would say honestly a 9 out of 10. I mean, there was literally four girls there. Okay. Yeah. That's valid. Okay. Attractiveness. Okay. So last night was kind of weird because...

There were a lot of attractive guys, but not a lot of guys that I wanted to approach attractiveness-wise. Does that make sense? Yes. Like, society-wise, they're looked at as attractive, but they weren't necessarily, like, our types, maybe? Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, that does make sense. Totally agree. Yeah. Do you think, how do you think, like, a finance person,

Bro has sex. Another way to put that would be, how does a finance bro fuck? But I think I want to go more of like, how do they have intercourse? Okay, so finance bros are so interesting to me because...

They're almost like robots. They literally, they go, they work all day. They leave work and drink or do drugs usually. Not to stereotype, but let's be real. Do they? Because they want to turn off their minds. I mean, think about they're in the most high stress. One of the most high stress jobs is to work on Wall Street. So after work, they just want to consume things that makes them forget for five minutes the stress that they just went under. Yeah.

And then they do it all over again You're saying how Nobody was there to flirt Okay so let's finish the last rating So the last rating is the flirtiness Okay so first Attractiveness probably like a 7 out of 10

Okay, that's a little higher than I thought you were going to go. What do you think? I don't know because think about how many guys there that you thought were worthy of going up and talking. I mean, there was... Four out of ten? Yeah, there was a ton of guys there. Were they well-dressed? Yes. But overall attractiveness? What did you really think? That's actually true. The well-dressedness kind of blinded me, so probably four out of ten. I think that's accurate. But flirtiness-wise, I would give it a one out of ten because none of those guys wanted...

Anything to do with a girl They literally You could tell Were just like I just want to drink And forget about Everything that I just did For the past eight hours They were hardcore Okay this is a specific bar I've never really been To a specific bar I mean you go out a lot And then you just Everyone's there To have a good time You're sitting at the bar Etc This bar's purpose Is for these guys To decompress 100% So like yes The guys were there But

but not to mingle not to mingle like they're they have one task after work and it is to forget about their day so what's your rating on flirty energy one out of ten okay so let's give an example of a good let's give an example of flirty energy is that okay here's here's what i want to dive into right now okay all right did you go talk to a guy no what time of day were we at the bar

We were there from... Half an hour. Yeah, like five to seven. Yeah. I will say, though, I think that the vibes would have been different if it was nice out. That's true. Because the bar's outside and on the water. You think that's more flirty energy? I think 100%. The sun brings out everyone's flirtiness. Yeah. For sure. It was gloomy. Yeah. No one wants to flirt in gloomy. Also, day of the week, it's like Finance Bro's like, I still have one more day of work. Like, I'll fuck you on Friday. That's actually...

I'll fuck you tomorrow. Literally. Literally, he's like, I'll fuck you on Friday because then I can at least sleep in on Saturday. You should go back tonight and see. You should go put that power move into play. Finance pros fuck on Fridays. Only. But how do you think they fuck? So...

I don't know. I don't want to stereotype and be mean, but I feel like they're not that good in bed. Why? Or they're psychotic in bed. It's like zero to 100 with these guys. Like, you're either going to find the guy who's, like, coked up, like, ready to get psychotic with you, or a guy who is so hot he's never had a try in his life, so he just sits there and lets you do everything. Mm-hmm.

Okay. What do you think, though, about the guy that there's specific problem? The energy has to go somewhere from work. So if he's like super, he's like an analyst or something like that, don't you think he'll be really like determined in bed or not? Oh, my God, Alex. What? That's actually such a valid point. These guys are so competitive. They're highly competitive. They're driven by numbers and they're like task oriented. I think that I think they would like, they're like your brains out. Kind of literally they're like, okay, driven by numbers. How long is it going to take for me to make her come?

How good is her orgasm going to be on a one to ten? Like I can literally. How fast can I do it or how long will it last? How long can I last? I think you're giving too much credit. Really? Yeah. I think I don't think they care about you.

Were we describing the C-suite only? I don't think they give a fuck about your experience. And I also think that they're like, when is this over? Because I have to go check my email. Yes. I think they only care about their experience. Oh, a thousand percent. Juicy. Alana always brings us back down to earth. Yeah. We go, we're like, we do. We give everyone a lot of credit. You're like, he wants to make me come five times. Like, Jordan, he doesn't even know where your clit is. He doesn't care. Literally, he doesn't even remember my name. Yeah.

That's actually so valid. Like they have so much going on in their head, but they're like, okay, when can I be done with this? Because I can just jack myself off in the shower tonight. Like, I don't care about you. Oh gosh, I'm torn. I want to take a side now. Like I want to pick.

I mean, we have to ignore, like, what I'm envisioning is Leonardo DiCaprio and Wolf of Wall Street. Like, but he had Margot Robbie, okay? He didn't even care about her. Well, he didn't. Yeah, you're right. He didn't. He just cared about his Quail-oids. He stopped caring about her. If you can't care about Margot Robbie, can you care about anybody? No. Nobody cared about us at the bar last night. No. Okay, so that comes up with another valid point. Like, these guys are probably, on a scale from 1 to 10 confidence-wise, the most confident guys.

Like they're probably eight and nines. Like confidence wise. Yeah. And I feel like confident guys don't talk to girls because they don't need one. They don't need to because usually people approach them because they are attractive and you can feel their confidence. And two, they just don't care that they don't care. And then do they need to care? Because no.

This is why I was talking about the times earlier. Five to seven is a hard mingle time. But once, especially on a Friday and a Saturday or a Sunday, if you're going out, once you cross over that point where people are starting to get drunk, those cute, confident guys, people approach them. Girls will start to, like, they don't have to do that much legwork. Yeah, because, like, when I think about all the guys I've spoken to at the bar, the guys that I'm interested in, I usually approach them.

Why is that? Why can guys not approach the girls? Or why is it the uglier ones are so confident and have the confidence to approach girls? Like, every girl says it. Like, why is it the ugly ones who are so confident and who, like, always approach you but the hot ones never do? It's like, because the... I hate saying ugly. The less attractive. It's because they've, like, built a personality. They, like...

have to do it. It's like, that's why the hot models are never fun because they don't have a personality because they never had to work for it. Oh, so you think hot people don't have to work for things and are just, they get to be hot. Yeah, they just have to be hot. Okay, and so then you're saying everybody else has the charisma. That's why you never want the hottest guy at the bar. You want like the middle guy because they usually have the best personality.

Okay, when we were in Aspen, Jordan said, she specifically, and it's burned into my brain, there was this guy that looked, it was me, Jordan, and my husband, Graham, and he caught all three of our attention. He also caught a guy's. We were like, he was a model. Movie star looks. Oh my God. That's when you know. Yeah. Tall, dark, handsome, all of it. And Jordan immediately was like, oh, hell no. Yeah. And we were like, wait, what?

I agree. Yeah, you don't want the hottest guy at the bar. I don't like hot guys. Because one, you don't want to go out with them and have every girl loving on them. You don't want to go to the bathroom and come back and have three girls talking to your boyfriend. You know what I mean? But isn't that on him?

I mean, these days people will just do whatever they feel like. Yeah. Like, I don't want to walk into a room with my boyfriend and have everyone stare at him. That's mine. That's valid. I don't think it's about that. I think it's about him. Oh. How he acts. Yeah, I care more about him, his personality, and how he acts. So what we're learning right now is I don't have trusted men. You have math. You don't even trust me. She has abandonment issues. Every time I text her, she's like, are you quitting? I'm like,

I'm like, bro, I just wanted to see where you were. It was 1028 when I walked in. Today we're recording at 1030 and I didn't see Alana or Alex. I go, oh my God, they're not coming. And I go, wait, it's not even 1030. We're like, wait, what? Alex was already here and I'm pretty sure Alana was already here too. Just weren't like specifically here in this room. Okay, wait, Alana, right when we brought up the hot guy thing, you said I don't like hot guys, but

But you meant you. So there's a chance that you could like this guy, but you still wouldn't want to go for him because of other perception. But you're saying in general, you typically don't like like a hot pretty boy guy. I know. Like, oh, no, I never like when a hot pretty boy model walks into a bar like I actually don't give a fuck. If anything, I look away. Yeah. I'm a very personality driven girl. OK, same. Like that's to me. That is what's hot.

100%. I could become attracted to someone. That's why I like organic relationships because most guys I've ever really liked are not the hottest guys, but their personality is so amazing that over time I become obsessed with them because I'm like, you're so nice. You're so funny. Like, you're so great, but you might not be that good looking. Mm-hmm.

You'd rather have that, okay, I love this conversation, because any day of the week you want the personality. Now, I do think there are instances where that hot guy also is just like the life of the party. They've got to be a late bloomer, though. Yeah. They peaked in college, like Jack Harlow. Yeah, okay. He says it himself. He's like, I'm not out here. I'm out here getting cuter. I didn't peak in high school. Yeah.

You guys know what I'm talking about. I don't. So I think that's why it threw me off guard. I was like, why'd you pick Jack Harlow? But I guess if he talks about it, okay, okay, fair. But I do agree on the peaking later in life. Like, for example, um,

Like, I was so, I was ugly in high school. Wait, no, you weren't, were you? Yes, I was. I was ugly in high school. For example, I was ugly in high school. I hope a photo's flashing. We need a picture. I will show you. Okay, you guys, so just to paint you a picture, I had to get my two teeth removed. So for most of high school, I didn't have my two side teeth. I had braces for almost all of high school. I was not cute. Oh, Cam, wasn't that ugly? Yeah.

These two are like disgusting right now. You have no teeth? You have no teeth? Wait, did you just have like gophers? No, I

You had nothing. Sorry, you just had these two? Not even a retainer with fake teeth on it? Just holes. I had braces, big metal braces that covered it up a little bit. Where'd they cover it? How? You just had two front teeth and no side teeth. What the fuck? I'll show you guys a picture. I should have came prepared. Obviously. So I was not the cutest girl ever. You didn't have false teeth?

It was only like a year, Alex.

But I had braces for 36 months. So I was a metal mouth for the most of my high school. Your teeth, we laugh because you're hot now and your teeth are beautiful. That was you in high school? That was me in high school. Okay. I mean, so I would say like, I don't look at myself and I'm like, oh, I'm so attractive. But I would say I definitely am a late bloomer. I peaked, I would say I peaked like at 23 even, like 24. Yeah.

I'm 26, by the way. So it's only been two years. So I feel like I've developed a good person. You know, I think I have a great personality. I've developed a good personality. I've learned how to be funny. You know what I mean? So it's like late bloomers and guys are great too because they also had to develop that.

Okay, speaking of, let's go back to your past a little bit because it's interesting that you're... Yeah, I'd like to go backwards. Yeah, so you can't just drop the no teeth in high school thing and then we're going to be like, okay, so anyways. No, so Jordan. Okay, hold on because you kind of have an interesting past.

But you started, you, you would say you started because I think you're still peaking. I actually think you like have started peaking coming into your own recently. Personally. Yeah, I would agree with that. Okay. So what happened to you? You taught me a word ambiguous loss. What happened to you in your past? Talk about that for a second.

So I had a boyfriend for five years. We dated all throughout high school. Well, no, we did not. We did it all throughout college. And then we lived together for a year. And then we broke up after five years. And an ambiguous loss is you're losing somebody who's still alive.

Okay, wait, how was the relationship to you? Because divorce got brought up last night. And we were saying like, if you're 30 and divorced, are you really even divorced? Or is it just more like you're kind of, you're like reborn? I also feel like with divorce, I hate that we're saying divorce so much. I feel like you have to be married at least three years for it to count. You know what I mean? It's like a trial period in the beginning. Yeah, I don't know why. I just think...

It's almost like I think people put so much pressure on it. You're divorced. And it's like, is it? That's not bad. That's just like saying I just wanted to restart. 50% of the population gets divorced. 100%. I think we need to normalize it. 100%. Like that. I mean, they say if you're with somebody for seven years, you're legally married. I almost was legally married. Me too.

Yeah, you too. Wow. We were almost legally married. Me, my other good friend from home in the same boat as me, we call ourselves divorced. Yeah, I mean, I literally had a rebirth after five years. You know what I mean? Like, I became a new person. I'm living my second life. You are living your second life because it's... It's my third. I think it's a tough subject because it's like, you don't want to...

like for me we don't downplay divorce like it's a it's like a very traumatic thing highly traumatic and terrible i think it's a touchy subject because like we're not actually divorced but i just don't think it needs to be like nobody should feel bad about it no ever also like if you want to get divorced get divorced i hate when people are like we have we're married we have to work for it it's like you don't if you're not fucking happy just end it yeah it's tough i don't know i feel i feel tough about it like

Because you don't ever want to get there. No. Ever. And you don't ever even... I don't even think like that. But I do think you have to put yourself in other's shoes and say there's so many scenarios where, of course, that happens. And that's not a bad thing by any means because you give yourself a chance at a second life. I think it's beautiful. 100%. And it's like, why do we have to make... One time, I don't remember where this was, but someone was like,

I was on a podcast I was listening to. They were like, okay, when a girl, when someone breaks up with someone, people downplay their emotions. But when people get divorced, they're like, oh my God, are you okay? But it's like, it's the same thing. Why do we have to make divorce seem so much more serious than, like, why is my five-year relationship ending less serious than a year marriage ending? So true. I think it's, I will say, I think it's the whole thing around the marriage. Yeah. I really do. Like, once you go through it, kind of this, like, commitment rings out.

Restructuring of your life Like I do think That's an added element I mean I lived with my boyfriend though We shared everything I know I think there's something To be said though About like inviting If you have that kind of a wedding Yeah You know your parents Let's say if your parents Do throw it for you I do think there is Kind of that And then there is this name We put on it That I definitely think Is like an added thing But I do believe like I'm here for the argument Of like

Are you considered divorced? Yeah. But also like society just puts that, like that label on it. Absolutely. And that's another thing that like, I can't work through my brain out loud, but I do think that plays into it. A hundred percent. So yeah. So I feel like society makes people feel bad about divorce or even like long-term breakups. Cause I remember for me, people, I was the bad guy when I ended my five-year relationship. Cause after five years, society teaches us like, you need to just stick it out and they need to be your person forever. Um,

You feel like you have something you really want to say? No, no, keep going. I'm thinking of something. Oh, so I feel like society just puts all these unrealistic things and thoughts into our head that we're supposed to obey, but they don't make us happy. Right. I think that's, I think on the five-year thing, that's that added pressure. Mm-hmm.

I think we should acknowledge this probably is more relevant in the Midwest just because of history and like what people have done before you. If you've been in a relationship for five years, people start to ask the guy. They're just like, okay, so when you pop in the question, and maybe part of them's like, I don't even know if I want to. With this person, like, and I think you start to feel boxed in maybe. And even with

Even with you and Graham, like, you've been together three – married three years. People are always like, when's the baby coming? And you're like, I'm not even 30 yet. Right? I'm like, what if I love my career and I might want to move again? And what if Graham wants to get a – like, there's so many unknowns. And I'm like, I don't feel that yet. Yeah, like, there's so many timelines that – I don't know when they began. Back in the day that we're still abiding by, I feel like slowly –

it's getting better. And based off where you live, like back in North Dakota, Minnesota, it's, it's not better, but here it's like a little better, but society has so many unrealistic and so many strict timelines for us to follow.

I know. And it's like, what are they all for? Like who, what do they do for us? Because you start, unless you consciously rewire your brain or come up for air, I don't even think you would realize you were following one. Literally says, I feel like these timelines that society gives us just makes us feel bad about ourselves. Like I was talking to one of my good friends the other day and she was like,

saying how she's happy but also unhappy because she feels like she should be in a different place in her life. And I go, that's because that's only based off of what society has told you. Like, you should not be here because of what the world is telling you. Like, the universe has a plan for you and there's no such thing as a timeline where you are. It doesn't matter, like, where you think you need to be. Like, you are where you should be.

Yeah, I think that's like the secret sauce is if you can, I don't know because this hasn't been happening for me lately, but if you did like an internal check-in and you were like, holy shit, I'm truly happy. Yeah. Like there are so many people our age that did get married and then do have kids and like being a mom is truly their calling in life. There's people that are like, I'm going to move like seven more times. I'm going to do some startups. I'm going to fucking bail on my face. And then there's people that are like, I'm going to do both at the same time. Yeah. And it's like,

If you throw the recipe out the window and you're like, I'm just going to do me, I feel like that's where it's like there's some ump to it. You don't look back with regret because the worst thing you could do is get to a certain age and be like, holy shit, I've wasted time because time's the one thing we don't get back. 100%. And it's funny too because I feel like when I was in my five-year relationship, I never felt...

this stress of that I'm not or I never was like oh I'm not doing things right I always felt I was because I was literally living by society's timeline and standards and I only started worrying about a timeline once I got out of a relationship and I lived in a more unconventional life like for a year straight I had on my background for my phone was there's no such thing as a timeline I

I love that. Because it was something that stressed me out so much. Do you feel like at 26, you should be dating somebody or not? Like, do you feel like you're right where you're supposed to be? I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be, but I didn't feel like that overnight. The dating thing, I, for some reason, like, I'm totally fine not being with somebody. You should be. Maybe when I'm like 36, I'll start to worry a little bit, but I don't even know. Like, I don't know. I feel...

fine with where I'm at in life. Like I'm happy where I'm at in life. Yeah. I, you know what I love more than anything is a 30 year old single empowered, confident person. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Because why not? I think that's the one, the one, the only thing social media did well for us was I feel like over COVID so many people started following their passions at different ages. And there's so many people who started blowing up like mid thirties or

Where we think The only way to be successful Is if you blow up When you're In your early 20s Or when you're a teenager But it's like You have all these creators Who are like 35 and thriving Totally We You know what did happen During COVID Is that timeline got pushed forward And it's that overnight success But people think like Uber was built in a day Oh

And it wasn't. These were like these long, I mean, he was young, but it's these long drawn out things. And somebody glorified overnight success. And I think it's dangerous. What's the saying? If it was built overnight, it can fail overnight. Or what is it? That would be good. I mean, I like Rome wasn't built in a day, but yeah. No, there's like this super powerful quote where it was like, if it...

blew up overnight it can be burned overnight or something if it blew up overnight it could blow up overnight I don't know I need to look it up um because it's something that I I don't even remember but I'm like I live by it it's my mantra does anybody know what it is um I'm gonna be overnight success quote I'm like I gotta know um

Oh, gosh. I'll find it and I'll post it. I'm sure so many people will literally DM me and be like, this is what I'm supposed to say. Yeah, the internet will tell you. But yeah, we forget about how much work... Even podcasts at Barstool who are so successful, they're thriving. We're like...

They did overnight. It's like, no, they've been doing this for five years. Right? They've been putting their blood, sweat, and tears in this since 2016. Yeah. And you know what? I think with summer coming up, I think it's a fun time to like, if you kind of have this itch to do something different. Because you and I both did. Jordan and I have no advice. We laugh a lot. And we're like, I literally don't even know what I'm doing, much less would I ever tell anybody else what to do. But one thing you and I did do was kind of like reroute our lives. That's how we ended up here. A hundred percent.

And I do kind of like that energy. Sorry, I'm like on a one brain tangent of finding this quote. It's going to piss me off. That's fair. But I'm not going to post it when you find it. Yeah, I'll post on Mean Girl Pop when I find it. Don't you think the summer maybe could be a fun time to if you wanted to mix things up a little or try something new? Like, why not? The summer makes me want to try new things all the time. Every day. All day, every day. I literally feel like...

I feel like I've said this too much now. You could die tomorrow, live your life like it's... Like, it sounds very extreme, but live each day like it's your last. Yeah, I think that's what we're... What we are going to go into the summer with. We're going to get you, like, multiple boyfriends. Because that's something you should try. I decided on the three that I want. Oh, what are... Tell us. Okay, so I want a rich zaddy. Zaddy. I don't even know why people call them zaddies. Do we know? Yeah, why? So I want, like, a rich...

like older man. I'm kind of talking like forties. Like I kind of want to experience that. The rich guy, the rich zaddy's older. Yeah. I want to like have a 40 year old fling love. Um, and then I want one younger than you, than me respect. Alex made a valid point yesterday. I'll on an Alex were saying how the guys I like tend to look a little older and they're not necessarily attracted to that look yet. Um,

But then I was like, but every once in a while, a young guy comes along and I'm obsessed. And you made a good point. You're like, because they bring that like fun energy that older guys don't always have. Yeah. You want to, you either like to feel like protected and like secure because you have the abandonment things. That's the older guy. But then you love to have fun. So that's the younger guy. Yeah. And then, um, then like one guy who's more of like a friend. Oh, like someone I can like hang out with. Like, like, yeah. Well, like.

Probably have sex But like I want someone I can actually Like do cool things with Is this a guy That you'd sit on a couch Like Sunday And watch movies with too Yeah Yeah Oh my gosh Between the three Let's fantasize Which one would you Fall in love with

Do you think? For sure the middle one. The younger one? The middle one. The guy my age who I want to have fun with. Oh, he was the last one. Sorry, middle age-wise. Oh, yes. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The last guy I just talked about. Okay, so he's the guy you'd marry, but the other two would make for a very fun summer. Yeah. Like, the older, rich guy...

I get to experience probably like really good sex because he knows what he's doing. We get to go to cool things because he's rich. Trips. The young guy, we can just have fun and do very spontaneous things and stay out till four in the morning and drink and just like have fun blackout nights. And then the guy in the middle age, we can just like enjoy each other's company and I can get that companionship that I'm lacking. I love that. I think this is beautiful. Let's find it. I know. Can you meet guys on Bumble BFF? Yes.

Only if they selected that they want girls and they're a guy as their friend. Yeah. But bumble.

No, organic meeting only. Sorry. Okay, let's go. Okay, so we need to go to like a younger area. What, Lower East Side? Oh, no. No. West Village. West Village. We'll go to West Village. We'll find the younger guy. We'll go up by Central Park to that. I think it's called Billionaire's Row. Yes. Find you the 40-year-old. And then we could probably find both in West Village, the younger guy and the guy that's your best friend. 100%. 100%. Because I don't have like any guy friends here, so I can't like start that with anyone. But I would love to find that.

Those are my three for the summer. I'm so excited. I haven't found any, so we have a lot of work to do. We know that it's not a fine. Maybe it's a fine. It's bro. We'll see. No, no, no. It doesn't matter what the... I'm not going to... I don't care what they do because these are not my boyfriends. My standards will be lower. These are your... You have no standards. I have no standards. I want to be attracted to them and I want them to be nice. Those are my only standards. And funny. There, you heard it there. Yeah.

But I'm excited. Love. Okay, Alex, we need to do a better job on updating everyone on our lives because we have so much that goes on and then we just like record an episode. We forget about everything. We do. So what's the situation? First and foremost, I want to update on the drinking. Like you drank last night with us, which was so fun. But like, how's that going?

So I had a glass of rosé last night. I'm sorry, but that was horrible rosé that you left me with. Did you think so? I didn't like it. It was too sweet for me. So I didn't drink for two months. We counted. It was actually to the day. I didn't drink for two months. And if anybody wants to know how that was, it was incredibly easy. And I didn't put much thought into the first time I drank again. I just was like, I'll have some wine. So fast forward. All I've had is like one glass of wine. Max, I've had two glasses of wine. This morning, I'm like,

I felt like I drank seven bottles of wine last night.

I felt awful. Did you have any at dinner? I ordered a glass and like took one sip of it. And when we left, the guy was eating was like, are you gonna drink your wine? And I was like, no, like, I don't know. So I don't know. That's interesting. I don't know what that means. Maybe your body's becoming like allergic to it. You only had a glass and a half, really. Yeah. And I had it earlier. Like it was like five o'clock. Yeah. You think I would felt fine. I woke up this morning and like had to get like a bready sandwich. No. Yes. No.

So that's interesting. Maybe you're allergic to wine now. Yeah, it doesn't... I don't know what to make of that, right? Wow. Interesting. So maybe you need to try a new alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not putting much... I'm just kind of leaving it there. Did you have any sober moments this week? Like any fun sober activities that you did? Yes. So, okay, I wanted... I'm calling my sober moment...

I cut out coffee on Sunday. Psycho. Jesus. So yeah. She's fucking psycho. This is day six. I used to have terrible anxiety attacks. I haven't had one since I cut it out. So I've been going around trying decaf coffee places and I've been having a blast doing it. What's your favorite place? Well, there's a couple, but it's the below me and I don't know the name of it. Well, you don't need to say it either. Yeah. Don't don't dox yourself. No, because you live there. Yeah. It's called the.

It is what it is. Fuck. Can you ask that again? Maybe we cut that part. Okay. I'll just bleep it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Great. Okay. So we just had to bleep that because Alex just gave everyone her location of where she lives. Which is social security, by the way. Yeah. So I'm just kidding.

Here's my actual address Safety guys We can't tell you So my sober moment Is going to be Going around Trying the decaf places And tea places I've been having A lot of fun doing that I also went to A restaurant I've been dying to try St. Ambrio's Was it good? It was so good I'm calling it My new favorite restaurant In New York I want to go there So bad The West Village one It started raining On Tuesday night And so I was like Let's go now No one will be there We sat at the bar It was fabulous Fun Yes What about you guys?

Oh, for like a sober moment? Or sober moment or your week update. For me, my sober moment was also, so I love trying new coffee places. I do not do decaf. Only losers do. But I love trying new coffee places and I tried a new one this week. You guys probably saw it on my Instagram story. It made me hurt really bad because I think they gave me cream versus oat milk. There's nothing worse. That should be a crime. It was nothing. So it's called About Time Coffee. It's all over TikTok. It was so fun to go to. It was a great experience. But it put me on my deathbed.

I was ill afterwards. Other than that, I don't really have many other updates. I am not talking to any guys right now. You're not talking to Ted still? Oh, no, no, we're not talking. So Ted, Ted Lasso and you, it's over. The young guy that you made and made out and slept with. We're over. We broke up. Bye, Ted. I'm officially not talking to any guy right now. Love it. Which honestly is where I'm my happiest. So I

I'm so excited for when I come back from this two-week Barstool vs. America trip to see if you have a love update. A love date. Oh, I have some dates planned for the future. That's all I'll say, though. I'm so excited. Okay, yay. But yeah, other than that, I don't really... That's about as far as my life... Or like update-wise. That's it? Okay. That's about it. That's it. Alana, did you do anything? Did you do anything sober? Well, my kickball league started. Yeah. That's a great sober activity. It was really fun.

Yeah, we were so bad, though. My friends and I were so bad. And you need at least four girls to play. Oh. So...

But the other team's girls were really good. Like, it was bad. And I'm obviously, I have my leg thing. Like, I still can't run. And two of my friends just got in an ATV accident. So they weren't able to play, two of the girls. So like, yeah, our team's really bad. But it was really fun. And then after there was like a happy hour for all the teams. Oh, that's a nice way to meet people. It was fun. But we were getting like Christian youth group vibes from it a little bit. I don't know why. I couldn't explain it. But we were like, guys, are we getting like...

What's the word? Like, oh my God. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know the vibe. They're like trying to bring you to their side. But it was really fun doing like something, like an organized thing that was like completely like sober. Yeah.

Yeah. Like it was really I'm excited for it. Good. Yeah. I like that. So moments are fun and they're they're they're harder to find than people think they are. I very hard. OK. You know what else I think about that, though, is there are hard to find, but they're even harder to like attend.

Yes. You know, it's like, it's a good idea in theory. And then you're like, I could also just literally watch a show. Exactly. I know. I feel like that's like people's mindset. It's like, well, if I'm not going to drink, why don't I just sit on my couch and watch TV then? It's like, no, that shouldn't be your mindset. Yeah. It's nice to go out and do things. It's also so nice staying out with your friends sober because you actually retain the conversations you have and you actually have meaningful conversations. The conversations are beautiful. Like that's why my favorite sober thing in the world to do is go and walk with people because you just, you get learned so much about them.

I'd rather eat glass than walk with somebody Eat glass yes because you don't yeah We know I can't walk you can walk with me though I would go I'd love to go sit and have coffee With I could walk with you yeah yeah yeah but there's also But the people I'm talking that I go and walk with are My people where we if we don't have a conversation We can walk in silence yeah I like silence Is compatibility and Jordan and I can sit We sat on the subway yesterday didn't talk

I went on a friend date this week. Oh, really? I forgot to say that. That was my... Well, we drank. But it was kind of a sober moment. Yeah, so a girl that I've met through mutual people on social media...

She's from the Midwest. I'm from the Midwest. We finally met up. We went and got dinner and then ice cream. And then we walked a little bit. That's really fun. That's like everything... That's like a fun, packed, filled night. Yeah. I forgot about that. Are you going to stay friends? Yeah. She was awesome. Love that. Yeah. She was so cool. And I know that people are probably like, God, Jordan, you just have great luck meeting friends. Yeah. It's not that easy. I've just been very lucky. Also...

Through so like it was through a mutual social media connection. So like usually you like people's mutuals. That's very true. You know what I mean? It wasn't just like random girl. Totally. It helps when you're set up. Yeah. So that was fun. Yeah. So yeah, those are my life updates. Cool. Friend date. No boys. Party. Party. Party. Party. So I think that's, you know, it's a good place to end because now I'm excited. I'm going to go. I'm going to go leave and meet some boys. I'm just kidding. What are you doing next week?

Oh, right, right, right. So, sorry, is it the solo episode next after this, right? Yeah. Because it's Monday. Yeah. Okay, so wait, what do you, what's the episode next week? Yeah, so Alex is leaving me for two weeks. I left today. Yeah, technically she's gone right now. Yeah, it's Monday. Who are you? I'm not here.

So the next week is going to be a solo episode about being single and some other things that I get into. And then you'll be back. And then I'm back. Then you're back. Okay, great. But yeah, so make sure to subscribe. Oh, wait, do you want to do it? You did so good last week. Okay. Like, comment, subscribe to the YouTube channel. Follow us on Instagram. Follow us on TikTok. Follow us on Twitter. And leave a review on Apple and Spotify. Amazing. And stay tuned.

And stay tuned for our bar reviews because we're going to be coming out with a new one every single week. And if any of you guys do go to PJ Clark's or any of the other bars, DM us and let us know your thoughts and feedback. And tag us. And tag us. Please just tag us in all the things you do because we want to repost. Yeah, it's kind of fun for us to talk to you guys that way. It is. And also, Alex is going to be gone and I need friends. So feel free to tag us so I can feel like I have friends for the week Alex is gone. That's nice. DM Jordan. DM me, please. We love you guys. And have a great rest...

of your Monday and week. Ah, beautiful.