Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater? 01:06:38

So I'm on his laptop in the family room and he has his text on this laptop and she texts him hi. But you know how you don't text people hi unless you have a really good rapport with them? Usually it's like, hey, what's up? I have a question for you or something. He gets a hi text message. This dumbass forgets his text messages are on his laptop. So he picks up his phone and responds back hi.

And you're watching it. I'm sitting, I'm just, you know, getting all this waiting. Sitting beside his dad. And so I say, Graham, who just texted you? I could literally see you, your devil horns just like sticking up like, I got him. I'm like, this is going to end terribly. All right. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I'm Jordan. I'm Alex. And we have a loaded episode today. We get into everything.

We I have to read off the list because there's so many. So I'm going to read off the list. Do it. Read off your list. It's we have we talk about in no particular order. So you have to listen to the whole episode to hear everything. Sorry. Should a guy always pay on a first date? Our thoughts on short king season. How to let somebody down easy. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And is there a soulmate for everybody? Is there one soulmate for everybody?

Is there? I know. Dun, dun, dun. And then we dive into our weekend, obvi. But yeah. All right, AB, hit us with the current events. Okay, so Will Smith. I'm just kidding. I was like, wait, we're going to talk about it? Can we not talk about that? Yeah, I know. I think we've heard about that. Okay, Elon Musk, yet again. Oh, we love him. We love Elon. Okay, so he's giving serious thought to building his own social media platform. Okay.

which I think is cool because he says given that Twitter serves as the de facto public town square but it fails to adhere to the free principles fundamentally of like freedom of speech

He's like, we need a new social media platform. So he did a Twitter poll and he asked the people if they thought that Twitter was good and adhered to the freedom of speech principles. And two million people voted and 70 percent said no, that they don't think that Twitter does a good job of it. So Elon's like, I think I'm really going to build my own social media platform. And I'm like, you gave Wi-Fi to Russia.

And now you're just going to build us another social media platform. Well, and I feel like out of all the social media platforms, Twitter is the one that gives us the most freedom of speech. Entirely. It's just your words. But I think he thinks it's too regulated.

I mean, everything is getting so strict. So many community guidelines. Like, it's insane. Do you think if Elon started his own social media platform and then the government was like, I'm going to come in and regulate it, he could like out-regulate them? Like, he's smart enough that he could be like, no. Probably it's Elon Musk. What can't he do? He becomes more and more impressive. Would you go on a date with Elon? Wait, how old is he? I think he has like 11 kids or something.

But that doesn't mean there's a certain name or age. Sure, why not? I mean, we probably could have a lot of fun in life. Do you think he... I think he has a girlfriend, though. No, they broke up. Grimes? Oh, yeah, they did just break up. I always get him and Jeff Bezos confused. Why? Both rich men. Both rich men.

Both rich white men. Wow. Elon's older than I thought he was. How old do you think he is? Now that you said that, maybe like 52? 50. I thought he was like 43. I would have before guessed 45. Now I'm, yeah, wow. Okay. Do you think he has the three sixes? Pre being rich? No, but I'm sure now that he is rich, he somehow has gotten them. If it's fake, you never know. Fake penis? Like prosthetic penis.

We're getting six foot two. Really? What? Yeah, getting six two on the inter wide web. Is Jeff Bezos the short one then? Let me see why you want to go. No, I get these two mixed up all the time in my head. Five foot seven. Okay, yes. And that's roster. That's exactly what I thought. That's the roster height. He's probably a solid five five. Elon or Jeff? Jeff. Elon.

Elon, I bet, is like actually 6'1". Wow. So he's above six feet. He obviously makes more than six figures. And he for sure is six, more than six inches down there. And if he, because like with his money, I'm sure he figured out a way to make that happen. Do you believe in the, wow. Do you believe in the size of your foot is the size downstairs? Like,

For men? I think it's a hand correlation. You think so? Yeah. Really? If I was a man, I would have a big dick. Okay. Can we? Okay. No. Okay. Okay. Let me see your hand. You're always posting that you have these giant hands. Jordan, it's not lined up on the bottom. It is. No, it's not. That's like a move guys do when they're trying to make their hands seem huge. She's moving her hands up.

If you're going to win the competition, win it fair and square. They're not that much bigger than mine. You're cute and little. Mine just looks massive. No, you have nice hands. It just looks like proportionate to your body. It looks like your size. It looks fine. But you're taller than me. I have little hands. You do. They're cute. Thank you. I call them paws. What do you call yours? Claws. Claws.

and claws. Every paw needs a claw. That's why we're simpatico. Even our nails kind of fit like your paws and claws. True. Like your square eye of almond. Those are almond shaped nails. That's funny. But yeah, anyways. Hold on. I think it poses the question. Tell us your thoughts about a short king season. Oh, yes. Yeah, Alex is all about that. No, I think because I think it gives people under six foot a shot.

And you know what, Alex? We'll get into it, but I recently did give someone under six feet a shot. Oh, okay, good. So are you in for short king season? Honestly? You mad about it? I'm not mad about it. I mean, we'll dive, unless we just want to start at the top with that instead. Just get into it. With your date that you're alluding to? Yeah. Oh, he's a short king. He was...

So Hinge said 5'10", but we all know if you say 5'10". Roster height. Subtract two. He was probably like 5'8", 5'8 1⁄2". What are you for the people? On a good day, 5'8", but government height is 5'7 3⁄4". Wait, and his government height's 5'8"? What does that mean? I've never heard anything like that.

Government height. Medical height. Like actually you're in the doctor's office. Yeah. But they write down. Well, okay. So once upon a time ago, a doctor told me I was 5'8 and I stuck to that and I was so proud of that height. And then my other doctor told me and showed me that I'm not 5'8, but I'm sticking to 5'8. I'm 5'7 and three quarters. You're 5'8 then. Yeah. How tall are you, Alex? 5'9. A true, sometimes I teeter to the 10, but I'm a pretty true 5'9. How tall are you? I'm 5'4.

No. I noticed that we were walking out of the restaurant yesterday. I noticed it sitting beside you. I felt massive yesterday. I have pretty good posture traditionally, and I was preferring to slump because you were sitting beside me. I was like, what is happening?

Like, I knew you were small, but I felt massive. But Alana kind of has big dick energy. So I like, I mean, I've been working with you for a little, almost six months now. When I first met you, I thought that, but then getting to know you, I think of you as taller, like five feet. I know, I get that a lot. Like, as I approach people, like, what the fuck? Why are you so small? No, Graham yesterday was asking me how old you were. And I was like, she just turned 26. And he was like, in my head, I had her like 31. So I think you just come off taller.

Yeah, I get that a lot. Older? When I first met you, I thought you were like 30. Yeah. Wait, can you be 30? No. No, it was like the way you spoke. Yeah. When I first started working here, I was right out of college. People thought I was like my age now. Really? Yeah. You just come off mature. But to me, I can't notice a difference these days between like 23 and like 30. Yeah, totally. I'm like, how old are you? Especially 25 and 30. No.

No difference. I don't care. Yeah. Also, can you imagine Graham next to Alana? No. Why? Is he super tall? He is a 6'6". Oh, he's 6'6"? No, and he's not the kind that's like lying about that. Really? No. It's the real height. Well, my ex-boyfriend was 6'3". So. Wow. Yeah. Weird. Do you think you should save tall men for tall women? Yeah. Oh, I love that. Thank you. Yeah.

As long as you wear heels and there's still a height difference, that's all. My boyfriend now is like 5'11", 5'10". And there's still a huge height difference. When I stand next to my ex-boyfriend sometimes, I'm like, Jesus Christ. How did you do that? I actually don't know. Save the six foot and above-ers for the five, seven and above-ers. Well, I think for me, the biggest thing with height is...

one, it'd be nice to wear heels that I like. Like going on dates recently, I've been wearing tennis shoes because I don't want to be taller than these guys. And two, like I just want to seem and feel smaller than the guy I'm dating. That,

That's what it is. You know what? I think that's the thing. It is the thing. We don't need to save heights, I guess, but you just want to feel tiny. Yes, I just want a man to make me feel small. And safe. And safe. Like, I can hug you and it's going to be okay. Or let him walk down the street. If someone tries to mug me, they can, like, take control. Like, I don't want a 5'8 guy, like, trying to, like, come to my defense. You don't want to have to go to your own defense. Exactly. Yeah.

So yeah, I'm open to shorter kings now though. Okay. It's short king season. I thought, wow, what a world. Okay, so we have like two potential segues there. Yeah. One, we go to your date or two, we go to, is there more than one person for you? Because we kind of opened up both cans of worms. Date first, date first. Okay, because I,

Okay. So obviously you guys know I've been going on dates and the hardest thing about my dates is I can't tell Alex or Alana about them because obviously I want them to have like the shock value during the podcast, but it sucks because like after something happens, I'm like, I want to text them so bad. Did you see the review that was like, um, if mean girl podcast has taught me anything, it's patience. Yes, I did. Yes. Same honey. Same here. Cause I can't tell anyone. And it like,

You guys are the closest to me when it comes to like dating. So it's like I could tell other people, but they don't know the full story because you guys know exactly what's going on. So it's been hard. Okay. So first off, the date was very good. I don't know what's been going on, but these first dates have been actually going well.

Okay. Like the last two, I'm like, wow, these were great dates. What was the word she gave us last night? Intriguing. One word to describe. The date. And Jordan chose intriguing, which, I mean, where do you go? That was such a good word. Oh, you'll know why. I'm sensing a faith in humanity from you, though, when you're saying these first dates are going good. It's weird. I've never gone on a first date up until last week where I was like, wow, I actually want to. I want to go on a second date.

Do you know what I think it is? What? A shift in mentality. Because before that, you were... And I think people do this a lot. They're like...

You weren't closed off to dating, but after Aspen, you said, I want to find a companion, and then you started having better first dates. I think it's your mentality. I told the universe, and the universe listened. Put it out there. Well, actually, the universe has kind of given me a little karma for how I treated people, considering the last first date I went on, the guy just ghosted me. But you enjoyed it. That was a step in the right direction. Yeah. So to break down the date, I went on a date last Wednesday. He...

Was I pretty sure 5'8". But that didn't bother me. He was very cute. He was like 32. We went to a wine bar. Love. Speaking my language. And he chose it? He picked the place. So he planned the date. He paid for the date.

So he completed... I'll tell you if he completed the last P at the end. But he completed the first P's. Let's review the P's really quick. Oh, he... The three P's are planning the date, paying for the date, and then prompting like a second date or like prompting they're going to see you again in some capacity. Okay. Paint the picture of the whole night. Okay. So... Picasso. He...

I'm trying to think it happened really fast. We started talking on a Sunday and then he asked me out like that night, which is ideal. Like he didn't mess around. He was like a few back and forth. Okay. What are you doing this weekend? Let's grab a drink. So we planned for Wednesday, um, eight o'clock. We went to a wine bar. He got there first, which you guys know me in time. Wait, wait, wait. Is he the first day to get there first?

in my lifetime, yeah. I don't think I've ever beaten a date. I'm not kidding. I don't think I've ever beaten a date. He must have been there 30 minutes early because we all know you were 10 early. No, I, okay, so I actually like hung out on the corner. Oh my God. And waited because I was 10 minutes early. I was like, I'm not going to do that. She did that yesterday too. She was early. She was hiding like in between two plants. Like trying not to be 20 minutes early to the social hangout. Literally. Did he text you the day of?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, we were actually already texting. Okay. Yeah, but he did. He did confirm it, which was great. So, yeah, he already had a plate. He was already sitting down at the bar when I got there. We were sitting at the bar, which I'm not like a big sit at the bar type of person, but the last two dates we've done that. Okay. I just like, you know what bar seats are? You just like feel slouched and it's uncomfortable. Yeah.

Yes. I don't want to interrupt you, but I have a question. Did you know when you got there, did he stand up and he hugged you and you're like, you're 5'8"? Or was this found out later? No. Well, no. So he did stand up and hug me. And it happened so quickly where I was kind of taken aback. Like, maybe he's 5'8", maybe he's 5'10".

it just kind of like you know when something happens so quickly you're like wait i don't know so we'll give it i found out at the end when we were walking out okay my height so you didn't go to the date thinking he was your height you didn't think about it at all not really um and he was so cute and like i i i was keeping open mind so we started the day in the beginning it was not like awkward but i could tell he was nervous and we didn't have a lot of like back and forth banter um but as the

The first glass of wine came to an end. I could tell he was getting more comfortable. Okay. And, like, it was going really well. We got a second glass. And, like, the banter started to, like, happen. It was one of those dates where, like, at first I was like, there's no chance I'm going to see this guy again. And then throughout the day I was like, wow, I really like him. Like, he's interesting. He has a cool background. He has a very cool job, which I'm not going to disclose. But, yeah.

She's like really cool, interesting things about him. And yes, sorry. Two questions. One, did he ever, did he ask you what you did? And does he know that you host a podcast? Yes. So right away he asked me what I did for a job and I just told him digital media and he goes, well, what company? Smart man. Okay. Actually, that brings up a good point. I feel like he might've known going into the date because he was like, where do you, what do you do for a job? And I was like sports. I think it's like sports, digital media. But he was like, okay.

okay where like it was kind of a way the way he asked was kind of weird and I was like barstool and he was just like okay cool and then asked me a few questions about it okay um oh it's always fun it's always fun to think about is he listening um so yeah I just like briefly got it I was like I do a podcast pop culture um tiktok and but he asked me a lot of questions about myself okay so the conversation was two-sided okay and what did he wear

Oh, gosh. I'm kind of like blacking out now. Not because I drank too much because, you know, it's like an interview. You go into it and you kind of forget what you did. Totally. I think he had jeans and a half zip on. I think. Okay. Love. It didn't catch your eye, but it kind of like net zero. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Also something I loved is that, like I said, he was in his, I think he was 32 or 33. I can't remember. But he had like this older man look to him, which I love. I think that's why I like old, older men because I love that. Just like older man look. Okay. And he had that. He had it. So you're physically attracted to this man. Yeah. And he had a little bit of like a, an accent from where he was from. And I was like, I'm dying. I love it. Oh, I wonder where he's from. I guess I can say Long Island. Okay. Like a Long Island, a little Long Island accent, which I love. Could you, could you do it?

Yes. Oh, the accent? I mean, it's just like coffee, like a little Italian Long Island accent. You say, okay, so wait, just really quickly, since we often dispute our accents, say this of my hair, the what of my hair. Root? Root. Yeah. I say root.

No, another. Oh, also say the name Greg. Greg. So my I was saying Greg the other day. My friend was like, you say Greg so weird. And I'm like, Greg, Greg, you say Greg, Greg, Greg. Love. Love. I love the accent differentiations. But yeah, he's from Long Island.

Long Island. Long Island. From Long Island. So yeah, the date went great. How long? Two and a half hours. Dude. Just like last time. You used to sit down and say, I'll be here an hour, hour and a half max. Yes.

It's so hard to end dates though But did you want this one Dana or were you enjoying yourself I was enjoying myself but also like I don't want a first date To go too long because you want them wanting To like come back wanting more you know So usually hour and a half is like Ideal two hours is a little pushing it Two and a half hours I was like alright we gotta go I gotta leave So then we left the date Oh boy and then he was like

It was great seeing you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. We did not kiss Alex. I know what you're thinking. But he was like, I'll talk to you tomorrow, which I was like, that's sweet. Like, thank you. Wait, love that. So he prompted, I guess, more communication. But then the next day, he texted me at like 1030 in the morning and was like,

a paragraph came my way and my heart sank. So I was like, Oh great. He like found footage of something I said in mean girl pod or something with bar stool. I was like, I'm, I feel like it's Clifford all over again. The six, six, six. It's just sent to you. But it did not say that. It said that he just didn't have a connection with me and it didn't think I was his person and he didn't want to see me again. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Hold on. And wow.

that is so mature I know I know that's what I was gonna say initially I wanted to flip the table because I thought what she was gonna say is he didn't freaking text her and we haven't heard from him nope then I'm thinking he's heard about the podcast and we can navigate those waters but this what's his name again oh my god what is his name I know his name but my brain was just I was like did I delete his text

Wait, I'm not that upset about this. So, I mean, like, you can see how long the paragraph is. Wow. Yeah. Oh, man. I know. It has spaces, too. I know. That's old. So, a few things. Super old. So, he was pretty much all, like, summarize the text. It was like, you seem like a great person. I enjoyed meeting you. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling the connection I was looking for. Best luck, blah, blah, blah.

And I actually texted him back and I was like, I really did like seeing you. So if your mind changes, I would love to go on a second date with you, which I would usually never do. But I was like, I actually didn't enjoy his company. Fuck it. I don't care. Like what? What's the worst that's going to happen? But a few things. One love that he texted me that like a lot of people are like, oh, ghosting is better. It's your feelings don't hurt. No, just tell me.

Tell someone if you don't like them. You know what I mean? Yes. I think he... This is so 32-year-old energy happening from him right now. But like, it made me like him even more. I was like, crap, I like you more now. What a nice thing to do. 10.30 a.m. Yeah. Perfect time and just like, hey, I didn't feel a connection. Yeah. But also a few things too is...

So to me, it sounds like he's looking for his next person, which I feel like you should be a little bit more open-minded. Like a first date, how are you supposed to figure out if there's...

You can't like, I mean, we'll get into it, but you don't, you didn't feel a connection after the first date. I feel like if you're looking for like your next person, you give it one more date. You know what I mean? Okay. I'm thinking about this. But the reason why I say that is because Alex, if you could have saw us on the date, you'd have been like, there was a connection. Really? Yeah. Wait, do you think a part of him could be like afraid? Okay. So here's my next thought.

I think what happened, and this is also my ego just getting in the way, I think what happens is that they go home from the date, they look me up, and they get very scared of what they see. I even asked a few other people about this, and one of them was a guy, and he was like, I'll be honest with you, if I went on a first date with you, looked you up and saw everything, I wouldn't go on a second date with you. Really? Mm-hmm.

But he did say he goes, but that's just me. He's like, there'll be someone out there that will be okay with it. And that will be your person. But he's like, a lot of guys just aren't okay with it. You know, it might end up being like an actual quality you have to look for. Yeah. For instance, my friend that you're going to go on a date with, he clearly doesn't care. I mean, there's going to be guys out there that are like, that's fine with me. I don't really care. Yeah. I guess that could just not be his MO. Well, and there's like a few guys, honestly, mostly like...

Guys that I have gotten to know organically, they're okay with it. It's the guys that I initially meet because I feel like for them, it's like, what's the point type of thing? I mean, I just met you. I don't need to deal with this where people I know organically, they're like, wait, I don't actually like her personality and I know she's a normal human being. So I'm thinking with this type of job, it's going to have to be more of an organic get to know you or the guy's just going to be very confident.

I think you're right. Highly confident, but I'm also wondering this. So, like, you used to have these rules. And I can feel you're, like, you're not softening, but you're having more fun now. Yeah. And you're like, I could stay two and a half hours. Yeah. I think you would even eat all day.

On a first date, maybe one day. Also, in the past, I would never have dated, this sounds horrible, but dated like someone my height. But I'm like, fuck it, he was really cute and nice. You're way more open-minded about it. So I think if you go on these dates with this guy and he would be skeptical about the podcast maybe, but he's like, I had a really good connection with you, like that's how people change.

yeah like i think love is like a good way to change and so you're like if he started to really fall for you like on sunday he might be thinking back to the date he's like i did love talking to her like we did have chemistry he's like maybe i can get through this yeah that would be cool and don't you think it's kind of weird how he left the date and was like i had a great time i'll talk to you tomorrow well he did isn't that just kind of a weird thing to say that's actually a really good point so like

Because they say your first instinct is usually the right one. So he clearly enjoyed it and was like, I'll totally text her tomorrow. Yeah. Also, I felt like I was getting implications that... So we were talking a lot about restaurants that he liked. And I was like, I'll have to try it. I'll have to try it. And I felt like he was about to say, on a second date, we can go there. But I kind of cut it off because I just get really awkward about that stuff. And the way he ended it was like, I'll talk to you tomorrow. And then all of a sudden, 10.30? Yeah.

why at 10 30 hold on i have what did you what exactly did you say back before um i was like i really appreciate your honesty totally respected thank you for letting me know i had a great time meeting you as well and if anything changes i would love to see you again but for now i wish you nothing but the best have a great weekend oh that's a great text yeah yeah you know what's weird is he texted me again after about like truck like i'm not i don't want to disclose too much but he was like i was like are you trying to continue the conversation i just heard his message

The classic. Whoever created that. Okay, that's a different... Man, leave it to you. You're not going to give us a scenario twice. No, I was shocked. I literally... Because last week I was like, I don't think anything fun is going to come out of this date where it will be juicy. And then all of a sudden I got that text. I was like, well...

Okay. We have a story. So you've... And there we go. True. So you've liked the last two dates. Yeah, and you know what sucks? It sucks is in the past, usually I've always been the person who never wants to pursue a second date. And now I'm finally finding guys I will go on second dates with that they don't want to pursue with me. Pissing me off. But it's karma. I think it's a little karma. And you have to get through... I think you have to go through this time and then, you know, like the world ebbs and flows. I truly think, though, it has to do with my job. Because...

I, and maybe I, they like truly didn't like me, but based off of the first two dates, like you can just tell when somebody's into you. It's kind of hard to fake that. And I was like, no, like we're vibing a lot. Okay. Wait, between the two of them. So there's the second one. The most recent one. Yeah. You liked him more. Yeah. More so from...

So they both had great personalities. I just appreciated more like the maturity. I also think in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, okay, one person blew me off to go drink at a bar with his friends and didn't tell me the other one straight up told me didn't have a connection with me and didn't ghost me. Like that's what's sitting in my head.

You know what I mean? So maybe if there's guys listening and you didn't have the best date, I don't know the answer to this, but you're saying you would totally appreciate that text. Always. And that's something I always do too is I've never, I shouldn't say never. I try never to ghost because I know how it feels. And I always send those texts and like my friends always be like, oh, I can't believe you do that. Oh my God. And I'm like, but they, like at the end of the day, yeah, it sucks initially, but they'll appreciate it long term because they don't sit there wondering what if.

Yeah, that's such a nice way to think about it. And maybe you could always pretend, sometimes I do this, because the world works in weird ways. In one year's time, you're sitting in an interview and he's interviewing you. How would you have wished you handled the scenario? Exactly. Also, as we all know, New York is a very small place. We live near each other. What if we ran into a bar? I don't want it to be awkward. If this place gets any smaller, let me tell you, maybe my largest takeaway from freshman year might be this.

It's the smallest, and we're from Oklahoma and Minnesota. This place is small. I've ran into more people in New York City going out than I did in Minneapolis when I lived there. Any day of the week. Like, I never used to here. I'm like, oh, Jesus, I can't go places without running into somebody I know. Wait, okay, so I guess on that note, other than your date on Wednesday, how was your weekend? So one quick thing I want to add to the date. Okay.

Because a lot of people have asked me, they're like, well, how do you keep going with dating? I truly believe that the universe has a... Oh, this is going to segue into a different segment. I was going to say the universe has a plan, like there's a person out there for me. So this is just the universe being like, he just wasn't your person. But we're going to put you on this date so you can learn something that will help you meet your person. Because I have learned stuff. You've learned a ton. I also appreciate...

Your optimism around dating, like I would assume a good amount of single people listen to this. And we don't know the answers to life. But one thing I've noticed just from you, just like being an observer, observer, observer, good burger, was that you at the beginning, you had a good mentality around it, but you weren't like excited about the dates. I think you were like viewing him as a chore almost. You didn't have nearly as much fun as you are now. Maybe it's the guys, but.

More so that's probably like a shift in the way you're looking at it. Yeah. Well, I also think too, like these past two dates, like I actually liked the guys. So that's been really nice. Also, I just, I just keep learning more about what I want in a person. We're collecting Intel. Collecting Intel for when my person approaches me in the future. Okay. So would you still want the three sixes?

I mean, because that's tough. I'm leaning on the third, but I really. So like I said, the guy was five, eight. It would be really nice. I think we already talked about this. Just having somebody who makes me feel a little bit smaller and someone who makes me feel safer. So I really would like above six feet. But that's not a deal breaker for a second date. Not a deal breaker. Not a deal breaker in life. Like it would just be really nice. Okay. All right. I like it. I would really appreciate it.

No, I'm fine with two out of three, but I wish it was three out of three. Yeah. We don't need to get into the money thing, but I'm sticking with that one too. That's all right. Just here to ask you. Do we want to get into the weekend? I just want to know a little bit about your freshman year update. Give me a little update. Okay. So let's get into weekends. What do you want to know about my weekend? I want to know an overview of your weekend. I feel like we haven't talked about the freshman year in a little bit. How's it going at work? Just give us a little update.

Well, that's a loaded question. So I feel like it's just been a roller coaster. You have your ups, you have your downs. Lately, it's been more downs and ups. But I don't know. I mean, like, I had a good weekend. I'm still... I don't know. I don't really have anything to say to that, actually. Okay. I don't know. I don't think you have anything to say, don't say it. Yeah, I don't know how to answer that question. Do you, Alex? I would say...

I would say freshman year for us, like, recently since this podcast started, it started very quickly. And I think we both really felt that. And now I think we've pivoted. And I feel that, too. Like, I like this new thing we're doing where, like, it's going out on dates. Like, less about the office, really. Like...

So I like that new thing we're doing. I also feel like since I went home and pressed reset, I have kind of just like been in a shell, which I'm enjoying right now. Like I had a friend in town this weekend and they were like, let's go like hang out and get dinner. And I was like, literally like, like I can't socialize. Yeah. Like socializing for me last night with you guys, like the three of us went to dinner. That was like,

That was like a lot for me. Like that's the most I've done in three or four weeks. And it felt nice to do. But I'm like, that's kind of all I have to give right now. So that'd be my update as I'm in a shell. Yeah, I... Happily. Feel like you totally have to. Like that's kind of what I've told myself. Because we went from spending like every day together to really not spending that much time together at all. But I...

Literally, the way I thought about it was like, I feel like Alex is in a shell and it's just going to take some time to break out of it. But I feel like you're doing it in a healthy way because before you were very zero to 100 in two seconds. And now you're going zero to 20 to 40. And you'll get back to your socialization. But I feel like you're doing it in a really good, healthy way. That's nice. Yeah. I think you and I were talking about this, how...

We're like Sometimes we find ourselves saying I have no idea What the answer is to anything Like Sometimes it feels like It's one foot in front of the other Like It's not even day by day Sometimes like the first half of the day By the second half of the day Yeah Especially in this job I really feel that But I think like

Just not knowing what even next weekend looks like and like not making these rules. You know what yours looks like for me. I know what the next two months look like. I'm like, I don't have a clue, but I like that. Yeah, I'm enjoying that right now. It's just different. I also, I guess in regards to now that I'm thinking about it for freshman year, I feel like I'm finally kind of settling in. Okay. Only taken.

six months but with as regards to mean girl pot I mean we're almost on episode we're on episode nine so what nine weeks in I'm finally settling in but um like this weekend for example all of my friends it was one of those weekends where all of your friends are out of the city and I pushed myself to still make new friends which is really hard for me because I actually am very introverted and the idea of

meeting like making new friends makes me want to throw up but I did I pushed myself I hung off a new group of girls I had so much fun I was very proud of myself for that so like that's kind of something I'm still working on it's like it's okay to still meet people like I get so settled and stuck in my ways after a few weeks and I've met incredible people in New York but I was like I'm set I'm set but then this week it happened I was like wait my four friends are all gone so what am I gonna do oh I should probably still like try to push myself make more friends I like that how did you do that

Um, so actually one of the girls from upstairs, um,

Well, say Alex, because we all met with Alex. She asked me to get lunch a few weeks ago and she was just like talking about her and her friend group and like things that she likes to do. And we were just honestly, we just like vibed. And she has like a really good outlook on friends and personality. And she was so inclusive. And she was like, me and all my friends are going out to watch the game. We're going to go to dinner. Do you want to come? And I was like, yeah, which honestly, that's like really hard for me to say because it's painful.

painful for me to like hang out through people I've never met before. Like think about that. Like going to a group of like 10 people you've never met, being the new person, it's horrible. But she was so inclusive. Her friends were so amazing. Like I could just tell they were a very inclusive group and I had so much fun. I was very proud of myself for doing that. Good job. And you and looking back on it, you're like, I'm so happy I did it. Yeah. And also like if you live in a city and you know there's like a new person, being inclusive is so nice.

Yeah. And you can be that too for people. Yeah. Like they probably loved meeting you just as much as you loved meeting them. Yeah. And like in a year when I'm more established, if there's a new person that comes along, I'm going to like remind myself like, Hey, let's try to go out of your way to include people. I think there's a shift happening. I always feel it actually when the cold ends, spring starts and summer's about to start, people get excited. Yeah. They start to feel social, but I think people get prepared for like a shift to like,

Especially after COVID, new job, people are like, I'm down for a new friend. Like, I think everybody's really open to that idea. So I think it's sort of fun to go out and be like, okay, I'll meet a new friend. Be the new friend. Yes. Put yourself out there. Exactly. So this weekend was the perfect mix of like going out, but then also like Saturday, I just hung out by myself all day and it was so nice. And then I saw you guys on Sunday, so it was perfect. Yeah. It was a really good weekend. Good.

Yeah. It's nice to have an insight into the weekend. And I think there was an undeniable shift in Mean Girl that we addressed once, but also now I feel like we've got back into our rhythm. So I feel like it's nice to address it again. Like it used to be a highly chaotic podcast where we were talking about, it was like so dramatic. And now this is something that I feel like is so much more sustainable. Yes. And fun for us, fun for people to listen to. Also, there's like nothing that makes me feel better than getting a DM where someone's like,

hearing you guys talk about your experience, like this girl DM'd us and it was the sweetest thing ever. She was saying that she ended things with her boyfriend but listening to us made her realize like she shouldn't settle in life and that there's someone better out there for her and everything's going to be okay and listening to us made her feel that way. I was like, wow, I guess this is why I want to keep doing this podcast. God,

God's work on the podcast. Oh my God. I like the ones where people say you sound like my best friend in the ear. I'm like, all I want to be is just because that's all really if you can feel loved and like you have friendship, like that's kind of what we all want. Like that's what you're saying when you're like, I don't want to go out with the group of 10. It's because you're afraid of it being awkward or rejection or something like that. Rejection.

Everyone's just like that's the way we all operate is like simply out of fear of rejection in some capacity. So it's like if you can just have a little best friend in your ear, we don't feel it. Yeah, exactly. Can I ask you a question? Yes. So you prompted on the Instagram a few times last week if you feel like you can have a connection with someone in the first 10 minutes. And that got me thinking because I still don't know the answer to that. Do you what do you think? And like, do you believe in soulmates? And is Graham Bennett your soulmate?

It's a lot of questions. It's a lot. I've been thinking a lot about this. I'm like, I have to ask Alex. Okay, okay. So do I think you can tell everything about a person in the first 10 minutes? I mean, apparently this guy went on a date with probably thought that. See, that's why I think the answer is no. Because every time I've seen somebody...

and talked to them for 10 minutes and thought, I love that person. Like, that's my new best friend. Or back in the day, if I was like, I'm going to date that person, most of the time that was wrong. Yes. It's you. It's the people. It's flipped. It's completely flipped. I didn't like Graham at the get-go. It took me a long time to get to know him. I really didn't know what to make of you when I first met you and you with me. And so it's like, I think the first 10 minutes...

No, that's actually so valid. Everyone I am thinking of

Where I like them initially, I don't, I'm not friends with them anymore. But the people that I like, I'm always like, oh, I hated you to my best friends. And I love them. You know that people you meet out or you meet at work or something and it's like firecrackers initially. And you're like in your boat just like throwing things at each other. And you're like there's so much chemistry. Most of the time that ends in a complete eruption. Have you not noticed? One trillion percent. I'm trying to think of like anyone in my life where I felt like that initially and I don't have anyone.

Yeah. It's the ones where you're like, oh, it took me time getting to know him or her. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that's actually a good point. I feel like I'm kind of trying or starting to change my mentality because like a few weeks ago, I've been like, no, I know right away. If I don't feel it, I'm not going on a second date. But now I'm realizing like every organic relationship with a guy that I've had, I never liked them in the beginning. I think longevity is established in a long way. Like, you know what I mean? So no, right at

first when I kept asking that question because I myself I was like I don't know how I feel and like yeah I'm sure some people think in the first 10 minutes it tells you everything you need to know about a person but really when I like applied it to my life I was like no okay the answer is no then we're gonna go with no in our opinion yeah I think in our opinion the answer is no both of us agree in our opinion in our oh opinion what I just said it opinion that's what you say is opinion I say opinion oh I was saying the way you say I just said

way no Graham and I have started saying opinion it is opinion it's opinion okay is Graham your soulmate okay no well yes he's yeah no the answer to that no he's not no Graham oh do you talk about Graham that way no Graham is absolutely my soulmate but that's not your question right

No, my question is more so, do you believe in soulmates and is there one person for every single person out there? All right. So this mind fucked me over. And I want to ask you because you're married. Yeah. To an amazing person. So I call him and I'm like, all right, here's what we're going to hash out. So we start and we Jordan knows this about Graham and I, but we will oftentimes either be on opposite ends of an argument and like we won't come together and we're just like agree to disagree or sometimes we'll like talk it out and then we'll see. So we start with this one.

My favorite analogy was, you know, the person that the couple that's in love and they're married and then tragically one dies and then that person gets remarried. Yeah. And they're like, oh, my gosh, I've loved two people in my life. OK, I think that that is that's where I base my argument on.

There's more than one person for all of us in the world. What are the odds that Graham and I are both from Oklahoma City? Like, could I be completely compatible with somebody who lives in a small town in Europe? I would like to say probably. I also think being compatible with people, like, you kind of ebb and flow and you can learn to work with somebody. So I think that's very valid.

My mother once told me, like, you're going to go through shit with whoever you marry. So you might as well pick one that you can go through shit with and just like love the shit out of that person. He was good advice. And that really hit home because I'm like, are we really going to say there's one person out of however many billion people there are on the planet? Probably not. But is there a way to pick a good one?

I would say absolutely. Yeah. So I think the answer is no, I don't know that. Or yes, there is such thing as a soulmate, but there's definitely such thing as like multiple soulmates. Yeah. That makes sense. What do you think? That's what I think. I used to back in the day before I had heartbreak in my life, I was like, there's one soulmate out there for everyone. But now I'm learning. I feel like there's each person has multiple soulmates for different parts of their life. Like I dated someone for five years. He put me in.

To where I need to be. Like if I didn't date him. I wouldn't probably be here today. You know what I mean? And then I dated someone after him for a bit. And I feel like that taught me so much. Like I feel like every part of my life. There's been somebody who's meant to be in it. I do kind of think.

Like, the way I think of it is kind of like a hierarchy. Like, you have, like, a list of people that, like, are your soulmates, but there's that one person that just kind of, like, is a little bit higher than everyone else that you should try to end up with. But everyone's path is different. For example...

Maybe you decided not to get back together with Graham. You could have found someone else that was really amazing, but he just would never have been Graham Bennett. I do think I agree with the path thing. In my path, I was supposed to end up with Graham. I do very much feel that.

But what if something happened that day where you were just in an extra bad mood and you decided you didn't feel like giving, like getting back together with him? You know what I mean? That's probably the ultimate check, I think, of knowing if you're with the right person. Like if this was before I had married Graham and somebody said like, what would you do if on the day you got back together, it happened to actually be him and I both boarding the same airplane. Like if I happen to have not, and then I look back on my life and I think, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's crazy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't just skim over that. What the hell? Boarded the same flight as Graham. Please tell this story. What? So Graham and I both grew up in Oklahoma City and knew of each other. Yeah. And would talk very casually occasionally. Lots of mutual friends, though. Can you tell the whole story? Your guys' story makes me want to actually cry. It's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Oh, that's really nice. I almost cried at the diner when you told me.

Okay. We have time. Okay. All right. So in high school, Graham and I, different high schools, a lot of mutual friends. Oftentimes people would try to set us up. And I was like, absolutely. I am doing, I have want nothing to do with this. Like,

Say it. Private school prick. I just completely stereotyped him. And he would like text me some, but like we could just never figure it out. All right. So then he goes to the University of San Diego for college. I went to Oklahoma University, stayed in Oklahoma. So did you ever like talk in person in high school? Yeah, we talked in person. We ironically both ended up

In Miami at the same time on senior year spring break and like saw each other at the heat thunder game, which was just ironic. Yeah. And we would text a little bit when we saw each other, but like that was it. Did you ever hook up? No. Okay. Never hooked up. And then not even kiss. Okay.

never kissed sorry i've seen all these no it's good it's good to ask it's an important question four questions my junior year and his sophomore year he's a grade below me but six months older than college of college correct we were both invited to a wedding of this girl who kept trying to set us up in high school she invited us to her brother's wedding and sat us beside each other okay so we both show up and like we kept talking the whole night like

I was kind of dancing with another guy, but like, yes. How long was it from the last time you saw him? Probably a year and a half, two years. Okay. He was a long time. He was really out in San Diego, like playing football, like didn't want any part of Oklahoma. And I was like, so loving college, like very, we were in two different worlds. Okay. I never thought of the kid. Okay. He walks in and I was like, oh my God, you invited both of us. And she's like, yep, sure did.

So we sit by each other. This woman? Oh my gosh. Totally. Katie Heinen. Thank you. So we sit by each other. Next morning, I wake up not in his bed or anything. I'm at my friend's house and he texts me and he's like, let me take you to get your car. So I'm like, okay. Wait. Did you guys like dance together at the wedding? Did you do anything at the wedding? I kind of like was talking to another guy. Like,

Because Graham and I could never make it work. Like, we have tried this a thousand times, and I'm like, we're on different paths. It's just not going to happen. But the next morning, he buzzes on my phone, and I'm like, well, that's interesting. And he's like, let me take you to get your car. So I'm like, fine. So he comes and gets me. It's like a 20-minute drive to get my car. And the whole time, we're just chatting, like, okay.

I was like, oh my God, I have the biggest crush on this kid. We went to brunch together afterwards. Your favorite. Oh, I love it. To a diner. He took me to a diner. The best. The best. Like the key to my heart and the key to his heart. We've always had that in common. And so he was home for Christmas break. Yeah.

His 21st birthday was going to be like a week later. All of his San Diego friends flew into Oklahoma and he like had a big party that I went to and like met his friends, blah, blah, blah, that he goes. He's going back out to San Diego for school, but he's like, I want to be your girlfriend or I want to be your girlfriend, Alex. He wanted me to be his girlfriend. So he asked me to date him before he went back to school. Wait, how long were you guys like chit-chatting? Like two weeks. You guys kiss yet?

The day he left. That was your first kiss? Yeah. And he asked you to be his girlfriend? Yeah. Wait, that was your first kiss? Yes. How did it feel? Wait, not my first kiss ever. No. Oh, damn. Yeah, oh, it was like sparks. Did you feel everything? Completely felt everything. And I was like so...

But you're so like, you're not even thinking of marriage or anything. You're just like, yeah, I could date this person. You're signing up for long distance. That's true. So that's a heavy sign up. But I was a junior in college. So at this point, really, I had dated some guys at OU. All I wanted was just like to hang out with my friends. So it kind of worked out perfectly. Yeah. So he went out to San Diego. I stayed in Oklahoma and we did the long distance thing. First time he told me he loved me, he was at Coachella. Drunker.

more messed up than anybody in the world like i love you this is a trend in this room alana when you told me that yesterday i was like i've so been there yeah let's just put it out there it's so not romantic but this is what i'm saying of like it's more real it's so real this is like not a recipe for marriage what i'm describing early on but you're like he's getting trashed i love you alex can't even hear me over beyonce exactly click and i'm like

Is that to me or the other girl that he's probably talking to? Like, wait, who do you love? I'm like crying in Oklahoma, trying to call him back. It's a night. It was a nightmare at the beginning, but it was like so beautiful. Cause you're like, you wouldn't trade it for the world. Yeah. Um,

So yeah, that's what happened. Wait, can we get into the rest? Yeah, all of it. What do you want to know? Like when he wrote you notes every day. That part makes me want to legitimately cry. So yeah, so it was fun, fast, and furious until it wasn't. Oh, he's going to kill me for this. I'm on his laptop one day. And you know how your text messages are sunk to your laptop? We're in his family room.

And it's Was his family there? Yes I just got chills I'll never forget His dad is sitting beside me And I'm on Graham's laptop Googling something Oh man Oh I feel sick And So there was always This blonde girl Out in San Diego That was his best friend I can't even think of her name We'll call her

And I always was like, what's going on with Katie? And he's like, Katie's dating somebody else. And I'm like, okay, but like Katie, I think has a crush on you. And he's like, literally like, you know, he hates her. So I'm on his laptop in the family room and he has his text on this laptop and she texts him. Hi.

But you know how you don't text people hi unless you have a really good rapport with them? Mm-hmm. You know, usually it's like, hey, what's up? I have a question for you or something. He gets a hi text message. This dumbass forgets his text messages are on his laptop. So he picks up his phone and responds back, hi.

And you're watching it. I'm sitting. I'm just, you know, getting all this waiting. Sitting beside his dad. And so I say, Graham, who just texted you? I could literally see you, your devil horns just like sticking up like I got him. I'm like, this is going to end terribly. So he gets the text. Hi. Responds back. Hi. He's laying on the floor. I'm on the couch. Dad beside me. I say, Graham, who just texted you? One of his best friends name is Richard. And he's like, Richard. I shut the laptop.

I put it down and I get up and I say, you and me in your bedroom, we can do it here or we can talk about it in your bedroom. And he's like,

still doesn't get it. So he's like bedroom and his dad, his dad was so cool. He's like, they'll do their thing. So we go in there. You're so scary. I can totally picture this. Oh my God. And I'm like, your text messages are on the laptop. And he's like, so? And I was like, well, Katie texted you high and he's like, Oh, you're not going to be that girl. And I was like, I'm going to be that girl because guess, let me tell you the worst part about the whole problem. I said, it's not the high and it's not the fact that you responded high back because anybody can get over that. When

When I asked you about it, what did you say? You said Richard. And he was like, oh. And I said, so why? If we had nothing to hide, what are we lying about? He's shitting my pants. Why would we lie about this? He ironically had just gotten, ironically, I swear to God, his phone had like auto locked him out and the screen had cracked and he had just gotten a new phone like three days prior to this. But he still had the old phone.

So he didn't have really any of his text messages. So I couldn't read previous text messages. I said, I'm never going to read your phone unless you give me a reason to. You just gave me a reason to. So I need to see all the text messages with Katie over the past year. And he's like, well, they're on my phone. And I was like, well, Apple's smarter than that. So guess what you and I are going to do? We're going to go to the Apple store. We're going to unlock this phone and we're going to read them all.

And then, I mean, he's like, oh, oh. And I said, or I'll give you one more option. You can sit on the bed and you can tell me everything, but I'm not an idiot. So do not tell me that this is your friend. I was like, you're going to dig really deep and you're going to look me in the eyes and you're going to tell me all of it with Katie. So let me just spare you the details and fast forward to Graham Bennett and Alex at the time Hodges. We break up. We are totally broken up. And it is like...

Let me just tell you what doesn't end well. So we totally break up for about told you at this point. I'm 20 give or take four. Oh, okay. After college. You're not in college.

I had just graduated. He has one semester left. Oh, so it's so long distance. So he's about to go back. Was he cheating on you? Yes. Wow. He wasn't cheating on me with one person. He had made out with two people. Okay. So that's a little bit. Was Katie one of them?

Yes. So you're, you're fucking smart. Yeah. Oh, so, and then, you know, we had, I think a good way if you're, if you're in this scenario and it gets to where you need to get something out of somebody, tell them to tell you, this is what I said. I said, now he said, I've told you everything. I said, okay, there's always one more thing. There's that thing buried in the back of your mind that you're like, I swear to God, I'm never going to tell her and I'm going to take it to the grave. I said, if you want to marry me, you got to tell me that one. And there was, there was one more. And I was like, and now,

And now we can move on. When did that happen? When you guys got back together? No, when we're having the conversation of breaking up. I'm like, we're broken up either way. But do us both a solid and let's get it all out. I need to know all of it. And so he tells me. And then I say, and I know there's one more buried back there that you're holding on to with everything. And it's not going to feel good for you later. Like you're going to have to live with this forever. But we break up either way. So get it. So he tells me. So we break up.

Give it like a month. This is what Jordan was alluding to earlier. I was working at an interior design firm for a girl named Jennifer who also was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She's 20 years older than me, but we were very close and this is what bonded us. Every morning I would show up to that office with a breakfast wrapped because I eat the same thing every morning and a very long note on top of it.

Every single morning. Wait, was it immediate or do you say a month went by and then you started receiving them? A month went by and then I started receiving it because he didn't go back to school yet. He was there the whole summer and he went back to school like a month late. So every single morning I would come to work

without fail on the weekends it would come to my parents house he took my parents out he he went down to Dallas saw my best friend like this boy I don't know what happened but he started doing like the change you want to see you know the saying you can walk him to the water but you can't make him drink I didn't even really walk him to the water I just kind of like went stood over by the water and then left and he didn't miss a day did not miss one day of this breakfast and when I left there was one too and how long did he do it for

I have every single one of them. It's somewhere like four months.

Can you imagine? Every day. So ladies, if he wanted to, he would. Okay. That's the thing. This is, I think this is my only point. I always say we don't know much about relationships, but I do know this. If you have broken up with somebody and you're going to get back together with them, they will leave you with no doubt, no doubt in your mind that you should get back together with them. And that's what he did. I mean, at this point it was like, I was like, I have the letters, him writing the letters walked me through the change that was happening in him as a person and

And of course, when we got back together, I was scared to death for the next two years. Scared to death, but he knew that. And he never made me feel bad about it. And every time, sometimes I would just like start crying and I'd be like, I'm just so scared, like you're gonna hurt me again. And he would just be like, that's totally valid.

It's okay. Here's all the reasons I'm not going to. And it really like we both grew as a person. But I used to say, because a lot of people say once a cheater, always a cheater. And I mean, I was so positive that was true. And like, I was like this motherfucker wants a cheater, always a cheater. My boss at the time though, she told me there are no rules.

Like she was like, you make your own rule book. She was like, I don't believe in once a cheater, always a cheater. And you're going to have to decide for yourself if you believe that or not in your whole life. You're going to have to listen to people say once a cheater, always a cheater. I promised you like people, people feel passionately about that one. I used to too. I used to too until you told me this story. Now I do not believe it. Now I sit here and I'm like, I got second chances. I'm like, I don't know how I feel about anything. So I always like to say when it comes to love, I don't think there's a rule book except for the one you write for yourself. Okay. Now you're missing a really big part about the plane.

Okay, I know. I glazed... The plane was like way at the beginning where...

Oh, you was playing in some bowl game in Alabama or they're playing in New Orleans. And we both had boarded the same flight to go to, you know, that we were saying, whoa, Graham, you're on my flight. It was when he sent me this hail Mary of a text message. And it's this very long one. And it's like, right as the plane is taking off and I'm about to have to go on airplane mode. And he's like, I'm putting it all out there. Like we've tried this so many times, but like, this is going to be the last time I try. But like, Alex, I really think you and I could work. And he's basically asking me to give him a chance.

I'm confused. Is this after the notes? Right after the wedding. It was way, way, way, way early on. Okay, got it, got it. Yeah. So that's my, that was so long-winded, but that's the story. That's the best story in the world.

Yeah. And now he's like, it's funny because right now there's been so many ups and downs at Barstool. He has been like my most solid rock ever. Like sometimes I'm like, you're what got me through this moment. And it's funny because he's like, this is always the man I wanted to be, but I had to go through some shit to get there. Like you can't be rock solid unless you really fucked up. Yeah. No, literally like, and this, this sounds so cheesy, but like,

I know there's a person out there for me and there's two people in my life, you and Graham. And then my, one of my best friends, Morgan and her husband, Sam were like, out of everyone I know, no offense to my other friends and relationships there, you guys are like the two people I'm like, wow, they have found their person, like their soulmate. I'm like, it's worth waiting for. Like totally so worth waiting for.

That's why they say don't settle. No, exactly. I think you're right. Like settling is a short term, nice little five year glimpse. Yeah. But if you wait a few extra months right now and think about forever. Yeah. And my friend just texted me the other day and she goes, why do she's struggling right now of like not being able to find anyone either. And she's like, why do people settle? I go, people settle because they're afraid to be alone. That's it. That's why people settle. That's why entirely. Yeah.

And they think, they start to think, I can make this work. Yeah. If we get married, of course it'll work. It's better than being alone every day. Yeah. And then when you get married, you're like, maybe if I just have a kid, that'll work. And it's like, change jobs, that will work. Move, that will work. No, it won't. It won't work. But yeah, you and Graham legitimately give me hope. I love your relationship so much. That's very sweet. Thank you. I've put him through the ringer these past six months, but rock solid, baby. I love that. Okay. Should we get into our questions? Yes, let's do it. Okay. Okay.

So it's episode five hours. It's an hour. It's only been an hour. I know. It doesn't feel like we've been in here all day. Yes. So we have a new segment. He used to be Ask the Mean Girls Anything, but Alex didn't like that name. So now we change it to You Can Sit With Us because we're sitting at the lunch table right now. And we asked you guys for some questions you had and there was two that stood out to us. So we're going to go through them. Okay. So.

The first question is, so on dating apps, how do you just start a conversation with someone? I think just saying hi or hey is boring. So I think initially the question is like, how do you make a dating app conversation last and be like, not spicy, but like entertaining in the beginning? Because you get hazed a lot and a lot of people don't respond to a hey. Yeah.

Okay, since I've been on your dating app. I was going to say, Alex, this one's for you. Yesterday it said apps that need to be updated. Hinge. And I'm like, okay, update. I love it when somebody has gone on your profile and found something that you've mentioned and then says it. They either find something in common with it or asks you a question about it.

So that's what I like to do to people. I'll go through it and I'll scroll down and they'll give you something either where they're from or they'll give you like a tagline or something I can't live without and you ask them about that or say same. You said it perfectly. I think there's prompts for a reason and never say hey to someone. This works for guys and girls. Always read their prompts and see if you can take anything from that or instead of liking somebody's picture, like their prompt and start the conversation that way. I think...

Like for me, at least when guys like my prompts or start a conversation for my prompt, I will be more likely to talk to them versus them just liking a picture of mine. Cause I'm like, Oh, they actually took the time to like read my prompts. Yeah. And if you take the time to read the person's prompts, you probably know if you want to talk to him or not. Yeah. Or you could just be like Alex and start off with the,

The crazy questions in the beginning, like dead or alive, who'd you have dinner with? Just throw that question out there first. If you ask somebody who, guys, just in general, start asking like your parents, who do you want to have dinner with? Somebody dead or alive literally prepares you for 20 minutes of conversation. Exactly. And no one's, I feel like if I got that, that'd be hard for me not to answer. I'd be like, even if I don't like you, I'd be like, I kind of, I kind of want to answer. Just, I just need to go ahead and tell you. Literally, literally. So that's how. Okay. Okay.

And then the next question is, this is from, so the first one was from a guy. This one's from a girl. No, the first one was from a girl. This one's from a guy. I believe a guy should always pay for the first date, but when do you think a girl should start paying or offer to split? Second date, third date? You, what do you think?

So I firmly believe that the guy should always pay on the first date. No ands, ifs, or buts. Like that is like a deal breaker for me. If I go on a date and the guy doesn't pay from the first day, I'm done. I think it's just chivalry, like respect. I personally think in a perfect world, by the third date, I'll start splitting. I think it's kind of fun. Like the second day they offer them the third. It's like, okay, we can start splitting. So I say like third or fourth. Yeah.

But I think it should go. I mean, like, I don't want, like, guys to ever think that they have to continue to pay for girls forever because that's very unrealistic, especially in our early 20s. So you're saying, like, pay for the first two and then kind of assess. Yeah. Third, maybe, like, be, like, push a little bit. Like, no, no, no. And then the fourth, like, fine, you can, we can start splitting. Love. Yeah. Okay. By the fourth day, you're pretty established if you're going to keep seeing this person or not. I think guys should always pay for dinner.

Oh, always. No matter unless it's their birthday or something like that. Like, yeah. Mike. Yeah.

Well, so if it's his birthday or celebration, lunch, I'll pay for lunch sometimes. But I think you trade off things like ice cream, coffee, sandwiches, lunch. Yeah. You know? Oh, you mean like when you're going out to like dinner? Oh, I actually like that. I don't think I've ever. Well, unless it's like, this is my treat. It's your birthday. It's like, congrats for this.

I don't think I've ever just paid for a casual dinner. I love, I mean, if I had a boyfriend who did that, I would be smitten. Do you guys, though, is that on principle of like, because it's dinner, or do you guys pretty evenly split things? Have you ever like totaled it up and like, or is it,

What do you mean? Okay, so does he pay for dinner just because it's dinner, or is that because it's, like, the more expensive thing of the day? Like, when it's all said and done, month per month, like, do you know if you and Mike are even on finances, or? Oh, we're definitely not. Okay, okay. I also... Like, we're also not making the same, so, like... That's a good thing. That's a great point to point out. But I told you yesterday, like, he pays for our groceries, but I cook everything. Love that. That's nice. So it's, like, financial trade-off for...

Yeah. Dude, labor equity is real. Yeah. Sweat equity. I don't know Mike that well, but just from listening to podcast episodes, I feel like he was just also raised very well and comes from a really good family who taught him how to respect women. Yes, definitely. It seems like his mom taught him what's up. Yeah. I feel like you balance it out in other ways. Yeah. I'm with you on that. Yeah. I hate when guys are like, oh.

oh, girls want equality, but we have to pay for the bill. Like, dude, what are you talking about? Those are, like, not... I'm down for that. Yeah. Those are two separate topics. Yeah. I mean, my ex-boyfriend, when we were, like, in college to the age of, like, 23, he also paid for every time we went out. We would split... We lived together, so we would split groceries. We would...

Split everything Like you were saying But he also was raised In a really good Family Where his mom Just told him He's like You treat women With respect Like you pay And like it wasn't Even a second It was not It was never even Like a question In his brain He's like No I'm paying Like eventually We dated for five years So like after Two years I'm exaggerating a little Like I'll pay sometimes Like I mostly Always pay for lunch Yeah Coffee Ice cream Yeah that's what we did too Stuff like that But if we're going Out to dinner Like he pays Yeah

Yeah. Okay, hold on. It's still a date, even though he's your boyfriend. I cannot for the life of me figure out really how I feel about this, so I'm just asking you questions. So the date thing is out of respect, but are you picking up the coffees because of fairness? Because you don't want him to have to pay for everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel that. I feel that. I guess that's where the balance comes in. We're dating. We've lived together, but I think dinner is still a date. Love that. Okay, that's a good way to put that. Just because we live together...

You still have to think of it that way or else it's going to get like boring. Yeah. He's still going out on a date. Yeah, totally. It's romantic too that he pays. He's like, I want to take you on a dinner date. Right. Love. If there's a candle and a martini, it's a date and he's paying for it. That's sweet. I also feel like it kind of keeps your relationship alive too and spicy. Yeah. I feel like you guys have great relationships. See these two. I know you never hung out with Mike. I know. I want us to all go out. I know. I'll be the fifth wheel. I want to be the fifth wheel. I feel like you two like

Like that's what you should surround yourself with people who are in great relationships because it will make you never want to settle. That's a good point. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. You guys have good relationships. That's nice.

Thanks. I think that's a great way to end it unless you guys have anything else to say. I think on these things, it's like launching a take. It's nothing but an opinion. Yes. I found it fascinating. I'm like, okay. What do you guys do? We're completely combined into a pod. Well, you're married, so it's one account, right? He always paid, though, when we were dating. Yeah. I love that. My parents used to give my brother money to take his girlfriends out on dates. A larger allowance. And they would tell me the guy should pay for you. Yes. That's amazing.

I love that. I think it'd be fun to get into like more one day, but like we need more ammo because there's a lot of people who are like women should split it. And I would like to be like, here's why I think they shouldn't buy. I don't like I've not fully formed on it. Um, as they make sure to, um, like subscribe, please subscribe to the YouTube channel. If we get, Oh, Alex, I will do something crazy. We just haven't thought of it yet. Dude, you're going to be so mad, but I haven't subscribed. Bye.

I hadn't liked or rated the podcast either. Right. But hey, think about that. One more person's about to subscribe. You do it right now. It's exciting. Yeah. And then make sure to rate us, leave us five stars, the whole shebang. And yeah, we'll see you guys next week. See you next week.