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Okay, welcome back to an emergency episode of Mean Girls.
I'm Jordan. I'm Alex. We're gonna hop right into it because we're only gonna have this rolling for 20 minutes. Yeah and I feel a little shaken. I'm shaken to my core. Because you went on a date last night. I did and it got so intense and had the craziest ending which we'll get into that Alex and I were like we need to talk about it now instead of Sunday. Yeah we felt like we would lose the steam and honestly like strike while the iron's hot so here we are. Yeah and the steam is boiling. Does the steam boil? Um
No, but water boils and I think creates steam. Yeah, that's how I feel. Oh, okay. So, all right. So let's start from the beginning. Take it from, yeah, we'll take it from the very top. Yeah. But I think it's important.
It's important to give him, we know this guy is a lawyer and I think we should go ahead and give him, we gave him an alias already and it's Harvey Specter. Yes. I think we can just refer to him as Harvey. Yes. Suits is one of my favorite shows. It's about lawyers. Um, so he's Harvey Specter. So how did you meet Harvey?
on hinge well so you met him on hinge so if you guys don't know alex says my pimping she i matched with all the guys on hinge alex does all the arrangements and that's how we met this guy was super cool he was clearly older he's 35 he is a lawyer um so sick what i can't handle you say lawyer what is what do you say lawyer lawyer oh lawyer lawyer y'all hey y'all i also say that
Um, so he is a lawyer. Yes. So usually date night's Thursday night, but he travels tonight. So he wanted to move it to Wednesday. Totally fine. Yeah. Busy man. Busy man. Picks a really nice spot. So nice on the Upper East Side. At a hotel. Yes. Which I love.
Love the Upper East Side. I was so into it. Totally fine. We have to dress up. Yes. Yes. I felt underdressed at this place. It was so nice. Like I wasn't expecting to go on a first date at a place this nice. Never. It's never happened to me. I will say kind of. So you were there before him because your toxic trait is not that you're on time, but in fact, you're early. Yes.
And I have to go with you so we can get you situated in a place that's close enough to see me, but far enough so he doesn't see your chaoticness. Yes. Yeah. I had a unibrow. Yeah. So we get there and the vibe I got from the hotel was because when you said his name, Harvey, he said his real name. We both got the vibe. This man is a regular at this spot.
Yeah, because they said, what's the reservation under? I said his real name. And they were like, oh, yes, Mr. Then they said his last name. Specter. Yep. And then they brought us to a seat. Or me a seat. We pushed you in the bar. To his table. We're like, get out of here. I go to the bar.
So the date was at 7? Yes. He arrives at 7.05? Yes. And he came in a sweat. Like, I could tell this man was rushed. First off, I don't know why he thought we needed to have the date at 7. Like, I'm okay with 8 o'clock. Mm-hmm.
But I don't know if he got that like vibe from me, but he was rushed. Like he was running out the door from work straight to the date. He, yeah. So he knew he was late. Obviously. And he apologized. Any gentleman's like, oh, I don't want to be late. And she's already there. Not a big deal. He, I mean, it is. I mean, I'm pissed, but it's fine. The,
roster, aka his hinge profile says he's 6'2". He is a solid 5'11". Yeah, he was not 6'2". Not 6'2". That's the roster height. Not a big deal though because he is as handsome as handsome could be. Yes. Did you agree? Yes.
He's very cute. I don't know if I already said this, but Jordan and I haven't offlined a lot about this date. So this is truly the first time we're talking about it. Yeah. You keep ignoring my phone calls and you're like, nope, we're going to talk about it on the podcast, which is good. That's because I lose my steam and it's not as exciting. Like where I talked about, I'd be like, like we wouldn't have like the true like emotions behind it. Yeah. We have the real chemistry. But no, I'm like giggling because he's that cute.
I kept saying, I kept tweeting me, he's just that hot. Probably one of the most attractive people I've been on a date with. Seen in person. Oh, wow.
Did you think? Yes, Rudy. I have a question. Yes. Oh, Rudy's back, by the way. Yeah, Rudy's back. I am back. Well, describe his fit. Do a fit breakdown for me. Oh, so he came right from work. So he had on a... I feel like suit is a very, like, hard, like, really intense word. Is that what you call guys, what they wear these days? Like, where it's like...
A suit jacket and pants? He had on a full-blown blue suit. Yeah. Dark navy. It was hot. Yes, it was. With like a white button-up shirt. And it was like unbuttoned with the first two. He either didn't wear a tie to work or took off the tie and unbuttoned a few. Yeah. Yeah. He went into nighttime mode with the suit. Yeah, but like I said, he came just from work. So he had a full-blown suit on. Suit? Yeah.
He's a lawyer. He clearly came from work though. Like that, that was obvious. Yeah. Um, okay. So a good question. Yeah. Great question. So you guys sit down. Yeah. He sits down. He does not give you a hug. No, but like, it wasn't in an awkward way. Like I wasn't offended. It was one of those things where he was so rushed where he was like, you could just tell this man was in a panic.
You know what I like? What? Is that he clearly, this was his, like, this is his table. I think he sat at the same table every time. So it's so easy for him. He doesn't have to have the awkward walk into the restaurant and be like, shit, which girl am I on the date with? Because it's dark in there. He knew immediately, came right over, sat right down. Oh, so he brings all his dates there. Thanks, Alex. Well, no, no, it's not that, but you could just tell, like, it was ironic. He zigzagged, boom. Yeah, he knew, he knew. Also, I mean, he knows what I looked like.
on hinge. Like we have pictures of each other. Yeah. But it was so dark in there. A lot of times you're still like looking around, I feel like. And he didn't have any of that. He bypassed it. And see, I didn't even pay attention to that. Cause I'm like on my phone, like just avoiding the door at all costs, but you can see. Oh, I watched him and I was like, is this him? And I was like, whoa. Also, can we just please quick talk about who you were? So we gave Alex alias of Barbara Sue last night with the fricking white,
afro, unibrow, hot pink jumpsuit, sitting at one of the nicest places I've ever been. Chaos. I had a lot of friends at the bar. You said that people were complimenting you all night. They were like, great hair, and then I would turn and they'd take them a second, and then they'd be like, that's a unibrow, and then they'd be like, but it's drawn on. And I was like, I'm just here by myself. Loved the bartender. I had a great time. Yeah. I actually had a blast. My husband did not attend this date. No, Graham was not there. He was busy, but I...
But he was like rooting us on. Like I left that date with a few texts from him like, I hope it's going well. Like Alex has said it's going well. He was rooting me on from afar, which I appreciate. I appreciate that too. It's a supportive man. Yes. So you guys order your drinks, obviously. You had your traditional white wine, Sauvignon Blanc, I assume. Well, last night they didn't have a Sauvignon Blanc, so I had a Sincerre, which is like... Isn't that a Sauvignon Blanc?
No. Sancerre is from Italy. Savion Blanc is not from Italy. Why are you laughing? It's just a funny thing that you're like, excuse me, I was having a Sancerre. Yeah.
No, it's not. Okay, I don't know. It's from a different region. It's a sweeter wine. Oh, okay, so they're different? Yes. Yeah, okay. Sav Blanc is like a much drier wine. Oh, so you actually do know, but you're making fun of me. No, I just, I think that's why I thought it was funny, because you just like checked your ass. But at the end of the day, it's all just white wine. No. No, no, no. No.
Peace me. Yeah, so I had a sincer. Okay. He had an old-fashioned. He had an old-fashioned, and he also had pasta and french fries. Yeah. People on Twitter are like, are we carb-loading? Which I don't know why that's such a big deal. I mean, like I said, I don't eat on first dates, so I did not eat, but he was obviously starving. I know.
I got home and the first thing Graham, my husband, said was, there's no way he actually ordered pasta and fries. First thing the guys this morning, they're like, there's no way. And I'm like, no, that's what he ordered. I think to his defense, he got the fries because he was like, oh, maybe Jordan will have some and we can share them. The pasta was his main dish, but he was thinking of me because I feel like guys are like, okay, she said she's not going to eat, but she's going to eat my food type of thing. And I did have some fries.
I loved it. I loved his order. I thought it was phenomenal. Yeah. So you guys start talking and the date's going great. It looks like. Is that true? Oh, 100%. Okay, so you're into it. Very into it. You seemed so into it that I was, this was not the type of place to send you a tequila shot. No, God, no. I would have slapped you. Yeah, so I sent you a glass of wine. Probably your Sancerre.
I don't know what it was. I just told the waitress whatever you were drinking. It was not a sincerity. It wasn't? No, I think it was a different white wine. I still drank it, but it was not the wine I was normally drinking. I said, send her whatever she's drinking from a guy at the bar.
because I wanted to see how the guy handled it. Yeah. How Harvey handled it. He handled it well. He definitely looked around, but he didn't seem shaken by it? No. Or what did you think? No, he didn't seem faked at all. But it also is one of those things where it's like, we're not going to dive into it because it's kind of awkward. So he was just like, okay. And then we continued with our conversation. He just was like, okay. Okay, I kind of like that.
Confident man. Very confident man who, ironic or not, goes to the bathroom right afterwards. Yes. Yeah, I just think he was so rushed where he probably was like eating. Everything was like hitting him. His body was finally like coming back and he was like, wow, I actually am starving. I have to go to the bathroom all the whole nine yards. Do you think he took a shit?
I hope so. I hope he did. He wasn't gone that long. I don't know how long it takes, guys. Some people poop fast. I poop fast. Harvey, if you're listening to this, it's okay to pick 8 o'clock for the date next time. You can go home, take a load off, eat some food, roll back in. So while he's in the bathroom, you shot me a text of three thumbs up. Yeah, because the date was going well. Because I wanted you to know that
like what you were tweeting can be positive things because it's going very well what was your favorite part about him like conversationally I just like that for the first time in my life he was asking me the questions you were talking a ton I was I have never talked that much on a date was he asking like genuine questions yes like we had I mean we'll get into it but like we learned a lot about one another okay which also we can talk about later on but
Now that I'm thinking about it, we learned too much about one another on the first date. Like you shouldn't be asking that type of questions to someone on the first date, but we can get into that. So you appreciated him asking you questions, but turns out they were maybe too deep. Yeah. Okay. So then he comes back.
And from what I could tell, something's happening on his phone a lot. And I do see him, in fact, flip it over. Are they text or are they calls? Yeah, no, it was so weird. So when we were sitting there, his phone, someone like called and he just like denied it. And then he kept getting texts, like multiple texts, multiple texts.
where his phone was just lighting up, so he just flipped it over. Didn't address it. Like, it was one of those things where you're just, like, declined by, like, keeping eye contact, and then, like, you can see out of your, like, peripheral vision that it's, like, blowing up, and he just, like, flipped the phone. Okay, so he flips it over. Flipped the phone. Okay. But it was... Something was happening to it. Yeah. It was going off a lot. Okay. But the conversation remains fine during this point? I mean...
I could tell something was going off on because like he just like you can tell when you're talking to someone that are distracted. That's what was happening. Okay. Like I could tell something was going like he was trying to have a conversation with me, but like.
I didn't have his full gauge anymore. Got it. Got it. Okay. So then his phone rang again. Yeah. And he gets up to answer it. Yeah. It started ringing again. He was just like, I'm sorry. Like, I have to take this. And then he got up and took the phone call. Which...
In that moment, I didn't think it was weird because like maybe there was an emergency happening. Like, I don't know, maybe someone's in the hospital or maybe someone at something at work happened. Like it needed to be like something needed to happen because it was just going off too much. This is my so I'm cool with it, too. Yeah. Especially if it's work or family. But did he say like this is a work call? I have to take it. Or was he just like one second?
No, he did not explain to me what the call was about. He was just like, I apologize. I have to take it serious. And then he gets up and walks off. Yeah. At this point, you text me that he's divorced. Yeah. Followed by heart eye emojis to which the people are like, is it a good thing?
So now the pro. We love a divorced man. You, okay, so I know this, but you got to explain, like, you love a divorced man. Yeah. Major pro. It's because I don't know if, like, I ever want to get married. I don't want kids. And so it's like, if they already could handle that in their first marriage, I don't have to deal with that, like, in my relationship. So you're thinking all thumbs up. All thumbs up. I mean, you have no flag at this moment. No. Like, great, you're divorced. I love this. Okay.
Okay. So Kat, our friend Catherine, tweeted a red flag to everyone else. Green. All Jordan C's are green flags. Why is that a red flag? It's not at all. It's totally like depends. It's situational. He's also 35. It's not weird to be divorced at 35. Not at all. No, I'm all in for it. I did text you back and say kids, which you kept not answering. So does the man have kids or not? Do you know? I mean, not to my knowledge. He said no, but he could be lying. But you asked.
course I did. Okay. And he said no. I mean, it wouldn't have affected me as long as they're old enough right on to take care of them. Okay. I just don't want my own children. But he did say no. Correct. He did say no. Yeah. Which doesn't surprise me. 35. That's young. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Check. No. This is what I want to know. How long was he married? Do you know? Yeah. So he got married when he was 25. He claims that he got divorced.
Like the start of the divorce a year ago, but that like it just went through a few months ago. Okay. So he takes the phone call. He comes back. That's what I mean. That's why the conversation now that I'm thinking of it, we just like I shouldn't know all this information after a first date. Right. This is a lot. I do appreciate knowing that he's divorced because I feel like that is kind of like something you should have in the back of your mind. But now I'm like, I know a lot about this guy.
I always know too much about the men. He must have felt... I think knowing he's divorced and knowing he doesn't have kids is like totally normal. Yeah. Okay, so we'll just see where we go. Yeah. So then you text me because originally on your date, you say, I'm going to stay an hour and a half. However, on this one, you texted that you're going to break the rule and stay a little longer, I assume because you're having so much fun.
That, and I was just so fascinated. I was like, I have to know this man's story. It's so different than anyone else I've ever dated. And you were enjoying yourself, it looks like. Yeah. Oh, my God. What a catch. Great. Okay, so you text me that you're going to stay a little longer. And then abruptly, like 10 minutes later, all I can see is that the check comes. And it's one of those things where the check came and the waiter didn't walk off. He already had his card and put it down. Yeah. Okay, what happened? That, to me, was weird. This is like...
this is the part of the date that just angers me okay where where things went south as they clearly did yeah where we flipped the script we went zero to a hundred okay um yeah so his he started getting more texts and then all of a sudden like the waiter came came by and he was like do you want the check and he was just like yeah let's go and then the waiter came back and he gave him the card it happened so quickly and the next thing you know we were walking out the door so
So he didn't say anything to you like, we're going to go, like, we're going to leave? He just like, yeah, let's get the check? Yes. And his phone's like ringing or is it texts? No, it was texts at this point, but like I could tell something was wrong. Like he was so like shaken where it was just like a –
I, like, blacked out. Like, all of a sudden, I was like, not from the wine, from, like, the confusion. I was like, wait, what's happening? Because, like, next thing I know, we went from conversation to the check arrives to we're leaving. Because it's weird because timeline-wise, he leaves with a phone call, comes back, everything's clearly fine. Fine, but, like, I can tell something's going... Like, it's not the same...
vibe than it was before the call. But it's when you send the text that you're going to stay longer. So it seems like things are okay-ish. And then he's like, check. Yes. And then he like pays immediately. Well, and also at that point I was like, I have some competition. Like the vibe's off. I need to. Oh, you,
So now we're feeling competitive. Well, yeah, because I was like, I want this date to end on a good note, not a bad note. Respect it. Okay. So then he pays like very quickly and then you immediately get up. Yeah. Okay. Typically on dates, here's what happens. Jordan leaves and then quote unquote walks home, but actually circles back in and comes into the bar with me. Yes. Not this time, which I was expecting. Yeah. So what happens when you go outside? All of a sudden he's like, let me get you an Uber.
Oh, we got you an Uber Black. Okay, so he's like, what's your address? Types it in. Yeah, yeah. Like literally, which now that I'm thinking about it, I probably shouldn't have done that either, giving him my address. It does seem like things are happening very quickly, though.
I'm starting to like, I should have done some of the things I did. Hindsight on this date. But you know when something happens so quickly that it just all of a sudden you're like, what the fuck is going on? And then you just continue with it. Yeah, I wouldn't have thought a thing of it. It was like a moment of panic. So yeah, he literally was like, let me get you an Uber. Put in your address. Next thing I know. I mean, like the Uber is here. Stat. I get in the Uber. He pieces off in a different Uber. And then...
Okay, so then I... You text me and you're like, I'm not coming back in. He got me an Uber. So I'm like, what on earth is happening? So I call you, which you don't answer, and you text me, which this... I'm on the phone with him. What did he call you to say? So I was this close to telling the Uber to turn back to the hotel because I lost or I forgot something. But then all of a sudden...
I get the phone call from him and he called me and he was just like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for like what happened, blah, blah, blah. Which also I'm like, why couldn't you have said this when we were out there? But he was like, my ex, that was like, it was the one who kept calling. That was, so it was his ex. Yeah. And I need to deal with the situation and he wouldn't give me any other details.
But he was like, I had, it was, it was the weirdest phone call I've ever had. And then he was like, and it, like I said, it's almost to the point where I'm like blacking out. I'm like, did this actually happen to me? Wait, so let's call her Nicole. So Nicole is, it's not Nicole. Like let's be, it's not. I don't know her name. Neither of us know her name. So I'm just naming her. It could be Nicole.
be Nicole yeah I'm just naming her so Nicole keeps calling Harvey's phone that the whole entire time and he I would assume he got up to answer her phone call yeah and then all he said on the phone call was just that he needed to deal with his ex yeah he was like I I'm gonna be honest with you that was my ex who was contacting me the whole time at the the restaurant was her yeah okay I apologize and I just need to deal with the situation that involves her do you know if they live together or not like
Okay, I know nothing, but you want to know what I do think now? What? I think the man's still married. I think he's still married, for sure. There's no way. I know divorce takes a long time for it to finalize because he claims he's been separated for a year, but the divorce was just finalized a few months ago. No way. Why would there still be issues after the fact?
I think the most extreme version of it is they still live together. The divorce isn't finalized. He's on hinge and being a little fuck boy. She somehow found out or sniffed it out and kept calling being like, or maybe they're trying to save the marriage. And he's like, already knows he doesn't want to, but hasn't communicated that to her clearly enough. And she's freaking out. Yeah. I have two theories. It's either like you said it perfectly, but it's that or.
Or they're separated and she's, I don't want to play the crazy card, but maybe she's crazy and she's, but he's ready to move on. Or they're still full-blown together. Yeah. I think they're still full-blown together because if she's just crazy, I feel like he'd be like, okay, this is kind of insane. He could brush it off. That's true. He seemed flustered. Yeah, that's actually a very valid point. See, I'm blindsided by him. And then he calls you. Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. Yeah. So you'll never hear from this man again or will you take a bet? If he's going on dates and he's married, I'm sure I will. Like what's going to stop him? But I'm not dealing with that. No, but you're taking the side that you do think he texts you. Probably. I mean, I'm sure he will. Like why wouldn't he? Yeah, he kind of seems like the kind that might even go as far as a phone call. I hope not. Harvey. But no, I want to make it clear. This is not the baggage I need in my life right now.
We don't deal with married men on this podcast or in general. Even ones with boyfriends. Or ones with boyfriends or girlfriends. So I will not be pursuing this man. But it sucks because...
I liked him. I was going to say everything aside, like the first 75% of the date. Yeah. You, you would, you say you like Harvey. He was a 10. I a hundred percent. Wow. But now I'm, now that I'm like thinking about it, I'm like this man kind of like, I feel like love bombed a bit during the, the date, like gave me so much information about him. Like I felt connected, you know, the whole shebang. And now I'm like just a narcissist in a nutshell. Yep. Wow. Yeah. Any questions, Rudy?
No, I think I just think you ultimatum his ass. Oh, what's that? What do you mean? You'd be like, dude, bro, you want to go out with me again? Show me some papers. I'm so down for that. Yeah, no, I am, too. But I don't want to deal with the crazy acts, even if they are divorced. Like, let's say they are. If she if she is a crazy ex, then like you, you'll know that she's gone.
Yeah, but I don't want to deal with that emotional baggage. Like, if we were on a date and she made him get up to leave, like, what's to say, second date? That happens too, you know what I mean? Like, I want to be his sole priority. Well, I mean, you might have to box somebody out. Yeah, I think I'm going to jump to Rudy's side on this one and say... Listen, if he's still married, then you need to hit him with force because what's going to end up happening is that he's going to middle both of you into the oblivion.
Yeah. Yeah. Because like he what my guess is that he's he my hunch is that he is on the outs with his wife. But in the meantime, he's like, well, we're already done with why don't I just go on a few dates? So you're you're caught right now in the demilitarized zone. You know, you're you're in between negotiations.
He was also married for nine years, and he's giving me very much like lost puppy vibes. Yeah, I don't need that in my life. Like, he tried so hard, and he was a good date, but then when shit slightly hit the fan, this dog did not know what to do. I mean, he's like chasing his own tail. He's like calling you once he puts you in the Uber. Like, shit just fell apart before he could even remotely put it back together. He's a lawyer, too. Hit his ass with a fucking, like, slap him a subpoena. Be like, ultimatum. Ooh, I like it. Yeah, ultimatum. Be like, if you're still married...
Peace. If you're not married, we'll go out. I respect both of your guys' opinions. Beat him as own game. But being that, I just don't want to deal with the emotional baggage. I'm like exhausted from one date. Imagine dealing with that on a regular basis. You know what I mean? Well, you wouldn't because he may be like, okay, fair enough where he ghosts you. Now you're going to just stay up at night wondering.
If you really, I think none of this matters unless A, you really did like him, B, he does reach back out. Yeah. Like then I feel like we have to cross the bridge if he resurfaces in a powerful way. Yeah. If not, we put Harvey to bed. We need to show a force. If he reaches back out, show a force. We might just have to send him a link to the podcast. Why can't I just date a normal man? Harvey might be the normal man.
He's just going through stuff. Are your hinge preferences, like, what are they, what is the parameters? 26 to 35. Yo, what? I like older men. What's wrong with that? Fair enough. I was just surprised by it. Fair enough. You fall right into that parameter. I do. Yeah, 26 to 35 isn't that crazy. I'm 26. Yeah, it's good. I just think it's weird that you don't go below your age. Why would I ever go below my age? That's ageism. That's ageism.
You're saying that you can't, there's not a 22 year old that you would, you would connect with? No, I mean, I'm not saying that. I think the way I look at it is when I was 22, I was in a relationship and I wish I would have been single so I could like have lived those years and done my own thing. I don't want to take that away from anyone and then have that person resent me. That's why. Fair enough. That's why.
Fair. I also just like older men. If you like an older man, you like an older man. The old stags. Yeah. And when I say older, they can be 26 too. Like I'm fine. I'm very okay dating someone my age. I think you, I think it's safe to say you liked Harvey. Harvey just had some exterior factors that were huge. They all do.
They all do, Alex. Until they don't. Until they don't. Until they don't. Until they don't. But that's why I like older men because usually they have less baggage, but apparently not. Or at least they can communicate it better. But also, it's not like I'm out here looking for 35-year-olds. Alex and I thought it would just be interesting. Like, oh, maybe we should try to find somebody who's older. No, Harvey was also a great candidate. He was cute. He was responsive on him. Great job. Rich. Yeah. Humble. He was humble, but he had nice banter. There was no reason to not want to go out with him. No, he was great. Besides...
the whole potential marriage whatever that's all about he was one of the best better dates I've ever been on I love that which I'm that's why I'm sad like it sucks yeah and that's very valid yeah it's fourth an emergency podcast which is what this is I'm sad I know I can tell which I'm upset about I'm defeated that's that's a good word yeah I'm defeated well you've got one week to get back on the horse I know because we have a date for next week
week he's trouble he is trouble this this has been your emergency podcast yes and don't forget you guys we will have our regular scheduled podcast on sunday like comment subscribe and send it to your worst date ever and i'm gonna go cry we love you
