5am 44:23

Hate intros. I'm not introing the pod anymore. Well, that's gonna be weird because I'm not doing it either. I'm Jordan. I'm Alex. And we're not introing anymore. This is Mean Girl Pod. Episode two. Two! Only two! Feels like it's been 17 years. Literally, I feel like we've been doing this our entire lives.

Or we were just born two weeks ago. We were. We were reincarnated. The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now because she's dead. Ooh. 5 a.m.

What time was the sunrise? Not then. It was still dark. It was still dark. I think it's like a 610 sunrise here in New York. Alex and I had a lovely evening on Saturday. We had so much fun. New York. Oh, Friday. Friday and Saturday. That's technically both. We had 12 hours of fun. I don't know if you guys remember last episode when Jordan said she wanted me to take her to a diner on Saturday morning. That's just what I did. We checked off all the boxes. We did everything we wanted to do. We had three goals. It was...

Jordan, kiss a boy. Go to a diner on Saturday and have a great night out on Friday. Because it's our freshman year. But we're not going to disclose if we completed those goals until we're like deeper into the podcast. But...

I mean, we are going to answer whether or not that happened. Just one call. Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. So, obvious... Should we say obviously again? Obviously. Think how many obviously's I can fit into one sentence. The Mean Girl Pod is all about Jordan and I's freshman year at Barstool Sports. Yeah. And we were freshmen on Friday night. It was... New York is...

I'm going to go ahead and say, and this is going to make everybody in California mad, but it's the most fun city in the world. New York is the best place in the universe. Everyone's so nice. The air is electric. I love New York. Mark my words. I'm never moving out of this city. Okay, we'll clip that. Marked. Jordan's going to end up married in the suburbs. No. The suburbs of Texas. If I ever do that.

Seven kids, no job. This is your nightmare. The guy's your age, not even older or younger. You're the breadwinner. I'm getting anxiety thinking about that as a future. Seven children. Oh my God, never, never. If any of that happens, will you just do me a favor and just kill me? Okay. Yeah. I think it's suicide prevention month. Could you not? Is it? I actually believe that it is. Anyways. Also, the question.

Can I just give you like one little tidbit of info each time? Yeah. Oh my God. I would love that. Okay. No ISIS this time. I just, I think it's cool that the queen has been the queen for 70 years. Where do you find this information? My husband tells me every morning. I was going to say, how do I not know anything that's going on in the world? That's just, that's it. We can, we can just glaze right over, but that's the tidbit. Ignorance is bliss. That's, that's the saying you couldn't think of last time. Ignorance is bliss.

Is mother freaking bliss. Yes. That was the saying I couldn't think of. So many people let us know what it was. So thank you for that. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is power. But I like living in the ignorance is bliss type of life.

Would you rather be ignorant? Would you rather have ignorance as bliss and the less you know, the more you feel? Or would you rather be in the state of knowledge is power and know a lot and have to feel through that? The first one. They're going to go with ignorance as bliss. I hate the word ignorant, though. It's just a nasty word. It's just a gross sounding word. You know what's not a nasty word? What? Idiot.

We've been talking about that. What an endearing word. I'm an idiot. Yeah, like, don't you feel loved, though? Instead of when somebody says you're an idiot, I'm like, oh my God, like, you think of me so highly. It's kind of like you saying, babe, babe. It's like, no, you idiot. Yeah, like, you silly little idiot. Like, I actually agree with that. Idiot is kind of a compliment. Like, if a friend calls me an idiot, it's kind of like, oh, thanks. I have never been more flattered. Like, if you could call me pretty, beautiful, or an idiot, I want idiot. All right, that's easy for me to do to you.

It means you have a little spice in your life, right? Ooh. So I think it's a spicy term. I think so. Yeah. Like when you called me an idiot at the holiday party, I was flattered. I said, I'm trying to find that idiot Jordan. Yeah.

And then I was like, what a phenomenal word. I love that. This is the, this is the idiot podcast. Oh, you know what we need to do? What? Think of a word to call people that listen to the mean girl pot. Idiots. I think we could call them. Is that insulting? We let us know if you're insulted by that or flattered. Or if you feel like we just gave you a big hug. Cause I like that. Like, Hey, Hey idiots, what's happening? Hey, yo idiots. And we're also idiots with you is what I think is important to know. Yeah. I'm an idiot every single day, especially Friday and Saturday.

You never want to be the smartest person in the room. No. So how about that? It's just a humbling term. No. Oh my gosh. So you come over to get ready. Oh, we're talking about Friday now? Yes. Oh, okay. I just did a segue without telling you. That was a horrible transition. I decided to just transition on my own and not bring you along with me.

Sorry. We do everything together, Alex. Okay. Hashtag mean girl pod besties. Yes. Okay. Friday night. Friday late afternoon. You come over at three. Always. I always come over at like 3, 3.30. Okay.

Like why can't we just do like a 7 p.m. get ready session and we're like it's noon it's 5 o'clock in London so we're gonna get ready now. But I will say to our defense we got some great content. Like we were working. We're always yeah we're taking like TikToks doing questions. We always like to go IG live except we didn't we forgot.

We were getting to know one another. We're bonding. Yeah, we were. If we don't bond, we don't have a podcast. Exactly. So one thing that you stuck... Okay, so Jordan and I have this new thing. We have a shared note. And anytime anything happens, we type it in the shared note. Then we open up the shared note before we record and we eliminate things that we find irrelevant. One of the things that I wrote down about Jordan while she was over was...

This guy popped up on your Instagram He was one of your ex-boyfriends? No, not boyfriend Ex-thing Oh, okay, an ex-fling Thing An ex-thing? You know how people are like, you have a thing with that person? Oh, okay, so you had a thing with this guy Yeah What's his alias?

Oh, gosh. Roxy? Roxy? It's kind of girly, like kind of feminine. Sure. Okay. I'll dig it. I dig it. Okay, so Roxy pops up on your Instagram and you go, oh, he has a girlfriend now, unfollow. Yeah. I don't need to see that. I don't need to see you throwing that in my face. Is that the philosophy? If somebody gets a new girlfriend, you unfollow? Yeah, because why would I want to follow you if you have a girlfriend? The people I follow on Instagram, it's so strategic. Like I follow guys for specific reasons, unless I work with you, obviously, like...

I'll follow you because like we're friends we're co-workers but if you're not in that category like I strategic who I follow okay so what was the point of continuing to follow Roxy while he was single though did you think there was like a chance you'd get back together no but you know how like you always have those guys that are just kind of like on your list of potentials like not I mean no we were never gonna get back together okay but like if I'm ever in the same place as him like I would definitely text him like hey what's up

Oh okay but now that he's got a girlfriend it's like yeah it's like you get him off yeah get him off all right so then then you want to follow Roxy I did and then we go and then I told myself oh what'd you say that if I don't kiss a boy I'm going to freak out well I said that before too but I said even more to myself in that moment when you saw Roxy had a new girlfriend and you pressed unfollow you said in your head Jordan you'll make out with somebody tonight yes and

So then that's the kind of, that's the level of energy Jordan's taken into the night. It's kind of like my new thing. When I go out in New York city, I will have, I have to kiss boy every single time. Oh man, I'm going to be the, I need to get a shirt that I need to get a sweatshirt made that says wing woman. It's fun. It's, I mean, yeah, I don't know. I love kissing boys. I do.

And that's it because I have like commitment issues and all that. So it's like I kiss the boy and I'm done. I'm damaged. I'm a damaged good. Guys are going to listen to this and then see you out and be like, oh, damaged. Or they're going to be like, oh, time to kiss Jordan. She needs to make out with somebody tonight. So hey, what's up? If anyone ever says that to me, though, oh, actually, it depends what you look like. I'd maybe consider it. That's actually, this might be a really cool thing if you're out in New York and you see you and they just, a guy's like, oh, I would like to make out with somebody too. They just pick you.

If he's hot, he can pick me all day long. What if he's nice? Have you thought about that? Not in this scenario. Okay, so he has to be cute. Yeah. What if it's a girl? Well, I don't swing that direction. Okay. But I mean, if I guess she's super hot, I would consider it. I've never really thought about it. If it's Addie and Mark's night, maybe you would. Okay. Maybe she looks like Madison Beer. I don't know who that is, but I'm just playing devil's advocate. Yeah.

Oh Pop culture Yeah Get it off the pod Sorry Let's go over the blacklist Topics that we do not discuss Pop culture Space Death Yes Kim as My mom But we can talk about Kim But we can't talk about your mom Okay Interrupting Zoom calls No zoom calls That's it That's the blacklist That's the blacklist Alright Then we go to catch To eat dinner We

We go there at 545. Yes. Because again, better early than late. We also were getting ready to leave it all of a sudden. Alex, I go, crap, we have not done the live that we promised we were going to do. Let's go to catch and do it. So we went to catch and we went, we went and sat at the bar. We had some Sauvignon Blancs. Because hashtag butt wine. Butt wine. Yeah. And we did the IG live. That was fun. It went okay because we've set the phone on the register to print the receipts. Yeah.

And so every time somebody ordered a drink at Catch, which is all the time, the printer was like... And then we sat down. We had more wine. I think we had like just two bottles there. Yeah, but there was four of us. Yeah, there was four of us. We had two bottles of wine, lots of sushi. It was so great. It was delicious. The security guard or bouncer...

So hot. He looked like Elfie from Emily in Paris. But he gave us two free shots. They tasted like matcha lattes in a shot glass. They were delicious. So that got our night started. And it was only 8 p.m. Yeah. So it's 8 p.m. And then we're like, where should we go next? And we're in the great state of New York. We're in the meatpacking district. And we chose Common Ground. Because we work at Barstool. Best bar ever.

So this is a typical freshman year move that Jordan and I, there's this, okay, so if you don't live in New York, just know that Common Ground's a very popular bar. A lot of people that work here often go. Yeah. But Jordan and I, freshmen from the Midwest, we've never been. No, but we hear people talk about it all the time. Like, it's on my list.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be a fine bar. It was so fun. It is current standing place of my favorite place in New York City. We were like a kid in a candy store there. We were having so much fun. And when we get there, I think it was like 8.45, so there was nobody there yet, but we popped down and we got a table only because there was nobody there, not because of anything special. Yeah, the deal was when the guy got there who had the table, we had to get out and leave. Yeah. Humbling moment because he arrived at 11. Yes. So we had the table for a few hours. Yeah.

We made some friends. Should I dive deep into how we made some friends? Yeah, and then we got to talk about how we got on the stage. Oh, yeah, yeah. But first. But first, wine. We were sitting at this point. I think we've had like two tequila sodas or something. I don't even know the count by then. But there was this group of girls and guys next to us at a table, and they just looked so fun. There was this one man who, just hot. Yeah.

I have no words. He's so fucking hot.

This is from a married lens also. Objectively speaking, this is a very cute man. I mean, he's super cute. Yeah. We'll call him Chandler Bing because he looks like young Chandler Bing. If you saw the Insta story yesterday, we straight up put up a photo of him. Yeah. Alex made that mistake. We won't be doing that anymore. It's not a mistake. It wasn't a mistake. But anyways, I spot him. He's so hot, but he's not giving anybody the time of day. So I look to the guy next to him, also very cute. What?

The poor guy next to him is going to listen to this. I'm sorry, but when you have a friend who looks like that, you just get it. Just know that you're a sturdy second place. It's just we all have that friend. Wear that title. Be second. I have a friend like that. We all have that friend where you just know you're in second place and you just live with it. But anyways, he was sitting next to him. We gravitate towards one another. As I'm beginning a conversation with him, Alex likes to...

Plug right in. And he wanted to interrogate him with some questions. Well, I take my job as wing woman very seriously. You're great at it. I wanted to ask him. I think we'll just call him second place. Second base. Second place. He did not get the second base. We need to get a famous second place Olympian and just call him that. But yeah, so I asked him, as any logical person would do in the middle of this club, if you could have dinner with anybody dead or alive, who would it be and why? What'd he say?

Typical stoolie move. He hits us with a Tom Brady. Also, we're going to get to this, but we did not know that they were Barstool fans. Yeah.

Yeah, so yeah, there's no degree of separation in New York, it turns out. Not at Common Bar. Or Common Ground. Common Ground. So he goes, he's like Tom Brady. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, what a good answer. I think he said Tiger Woods would be a second place person. And then I said, what's one piece of life advice you would like to offer to the people? And he said, fake it till you make it. Smart man.

Smart man. And then he even, I think he went on to say, like, think about Tom who was drafted like what? 199th. He faked it till he made it. And it was just a groundbreaking conversation in the middle of this raging club. But anyways, gave you the approval. Yeah. So we proceeded to hang out with them, um, or him. And then we went to the stage. We hung out there, went to the stage. And, um, one of our friends was like, get off the stage. You're going to end up on Reddit. Yeah.

And I have to say, I checked this morning. We're not on Reddit yet. We're not on Reddit. Alex and I stayed on the stage the whole time. That's Alex. What? That's why we have all the bruises because we kept falling, getting on and off the stage. Well, because it's not. No, I know why we have the bruises. It's not a regular stage. It's like a stage with stairs. Let's preface. It's not a stage. It's just a staircase. It's like a tiered audience stage.

Auditorium Yeah It's like a tier It's like risers But like It's like the width of this table Like that's One of the stairs Yeah it's very It's like It's like impossible And there's people everywhere It's almost like you're like Climbing on a wall And people are like Throwing people

People It's an obstacle course Think of What's the movie What's the show Green light Red light Oh Squid games Yes It's kind of like The squid games For drunk people Trying to stand On this stage So yeah We were over there We were hanging out Having a great time I had a few more drinks It was fun New York is Electric And the problem is

I had in my brain that you wanted to go to breakfast with me. Yes. And I thought, what better thing to do than just get it out of the way? Oh, are we going to skip the whole part of the night where I did something? Are we going to talk about that before we move on to breakfast? What did you do? You have to ask me. What did you do? Oh my gosh! What is wrong with me? What?

Oh, you can tell this is only our third time. Yeah, we're new here. No, Jordan, how did it end up with the second base placeman? We kiss. Was it? I watched it. Was it a kiss or a make out? I think we made up multiple times. How tall is he?

I think he was probably my height with boots on. So maybe like a 5'10 or a 5'11. I thought he was like a 5'11er. Yeah. And you're like a 5'7er. Yeah. But I had high heel or I had a high heel boots on that probably put me at like 5'10. Yes. Yeah. What was your favorite quality about him?

He had a nice smile. He did have a very nice smile. Yeah. I thought he was sweet. He was so sweet. Intellectual. Intellectual. He was a thinker. We had what a conversation we had in between makeouts.

Do you feel like if I put up five photos of people, you could pick him out of a lineup? I know you could pick out the first one out of the lineup. Only because we stalked him heavily on Instagram afterwards. Yeah, we did find all of their Instagrams. But what about... So he doesn't live here. No, he does not. So it's a long distance relationship. It is no relationship at all. So you're breaking up with him. I am. Okay, so here's what's going to happen. So you're breaking up with him.

The second place man lives in California. Why do you think California? I don't know where he lives. I'm just putting everybody in California. I'm not going to say where he lives, but it's the Midwest. Jordan would find a Midwest man at a bar in California.

So the first So the guy That we're gonna call Chandler Bing Who was his friend That you initially Thought was hot So hot We are gonna DM him This link to the podcast And Chandler Bing Would you please Go on a date with Jordan Yeah I just wanna go On a date with you Probably make out with you But that's it This is a formal invitation Yeah like I don't I don't want a relationship I don't want anything like that I just want One night Nothing serious She's damaged She just wants to make out And go to dinner Yeah

Valentine's Day is in like a week so no there's just a thought that day that might be a really good day oh you could take um you could invite him to our gathering we're doing on that day um okay Chandler if you want to come to the gathering Jordan and I are gonna hang out on Valentine's Day we are because that's what one does um so make out can I get a big check mark

Check. Check. I'm going to make all the guy every time we go out. Mark my words. They're marked. They're marked. Consider them...

We won't do the sig count yet. Okay, so then do we want to move on from departing from the bar? Yeah. Leaving Common Ground. I tackled you. Literally, so... I'm a linebacker. Alex's other friend came to Common Ground, so Alex was going to stay a little bit longer. Because that would be a good idea. I was dead. It was like 3 o'clock. I was so tired. I was like, I got to go. Not 3. I think it was like 2.45. I was like, I got to go home. So Alex is...

with her other friend. I'm out there so close to getting an Uber. Like, my Uber is 30 seconds away and all of a sudden someone just tackles me and it's Alex Bennett. And she goes, I was like, Alex,

I was like, Alex, I'm going home. What are you doing? She goes, you're not going home. We're going to a diner. We had to go to breakfast. Jordan told me she wanted to go to breakfast. I was so hungry. And I thought, what better time to go break bread with my co-host than at 3 a.m. With literal bread. Literal bread to a random diner in Chelsea. And it was such a good diner. So we were there. It's a 24-7 diner, which they're the best. Well, we got in the Uber and we didn't know the name of a diner. So we just said, take us to a diner. And he did.

He took us to a great diner. Great diner. So we get to the diner. Alex orders an omelet with hash browns. I order two eggs with hash browns. And when the food comes out. When the food comes, Alex immediately takes her fork, scoops up one of my eggs, eats it. And then I'm like in shock. I don't even know what to say. And then she takes my other egg, scoops it up with her fork, and starts dicing it.

plates. You're like scrambling my eggs. And then you ate my eggs and then you ate my hash browns. You out ordered me. Turns out I didn't want the omelet. I wanted the egg. Oh no, you still ate your omelet too. I know. Thank you. It's not a fat girl joke. You ate my food, your food. I got toast. Well, you're welcome. I also got toast. I mean, I probably clocked like 1500 calories at the diner. And I had apple juice. I don't even drink apple juice and I ordered it.

I've had apple juice since I was 12 and the guy goes do you want anything to drink and I go I'll have apple juice why why why is right you had coffee I know because I wanted to stay away I'm crying laughing because I was starving and you're eating my food and I can't say no to you you just let me eat it

And then when we're eating, this is like not important, but there was a mouse scurrying on the ground in the diner. To be a fly on the wall for our diner conversation. Well, okay. So the next morning, this guy DMs me.

And he's like, yo, were you at the Chelsea Inn Diner last night? I'm like, yeah. Why? And he's like, I was at the table next to you. And I'm like, can we not? Like, why does everyone know who we were, who we are? Or just like, why is it such a small world? Such a small world. New York is such a small world. Like, we're not going to get into it, but like the guys that we met know people who we know.

Yeah. Everyone's friends. Everyone's friends. That's why, that's what makes it fun too though. It's not safe anywhere. It's not. But that's like the best part about New York I think is that it's a small big town. It is. So then we leave the diner. Oh yeah. So. Why?

Once again, we're leaving the diner. I have an Uber. Alex isn't used to Ubers because she doesn't have Uber. I don't have the Uber app. I'm banned. I'm not banned. I'm logged. I'm forever logged out. Perpetually logged out of Uber. But anyway, so she doesn't have the Uber app. I go, Alex, our Uber's almost here. And you're like, I'm not waiting. And you literally get into a taxi. I pulled over.

pull you out because there's our Uber. I wanted to make moves. Right next door. I go, Alex, our Uber that I already paid for is here. So we go to my Uber. We go to your apartment first because you live closer than I do. And we get to your apartment and I go, Alex, like, well, first off, this is where the coffee kicks in. I wanted to stay awake. Well, no, we're going to, we're going to backtrack just like two minutes. Alex had an Addie Marks type of night.

Because she took a nap. But I'm a napper. You're a napper. I'm just like... Addie and Margs aside, because it was only Margs. Yes. I just am a...

I mean, ever since college, I just, I am not afraid of a cat nap. No, and Uber too. My body knows though when I have a friend in the Uber and I'm like, I can take it. It's a safe place to take a nap. They'll wake me up. Yeah, you were like with, you were next to me. I was watching you. But we get to your apartment. I go, Alex, wake up. Like, you got to go home. And you're like, I'm not going home. And I'm like, Alex, get out. Like, go home. And you're like, like, I don't want this night dead. I'm not going home. I was having too much fun. So then I was like, okay, do you want to come to my apartment? And you're like, yep.

So we go to my apartment. Which is like 35 blocks. Like 50 blocks. At least three miles from you. Yeah. We live far from each other. Very far. I can't subway. I go to Alex's quite often now. I don't subway. I have to take a stupid taxi to get to your place. Ridiculous. That's how far it is. Yeah. We do not live close. No. So we get to my apartment. We get out of the Uber. We walk up the door. And you're like, no, I'm not going in. I'm leaving. I'm like, what?

I thought we were about to have a sleepover. I needed to go home and sleep with my boy. Yeah, you did. So also to preface, like I went home alone that night. Everyone was like, oh, Jordan, 5 a.m. Who'd you bring home? No one.

that well me well you but like everyone was like oh you brought the guy home and I was like no I did not bring the guy home that's like not really your thing no I don't have casual sex casual makeouts so you don't have casual sex we can't just really like glaze right over that no that's like actually like more of like a serious conversation I'm feeling so serious today um in 2020 I decided I'm no longer gonna do that what changed I

I just like got sick of, so like, you know, when you're talking to a guy and you like, guys suck as it is. And then I just started to realize like when they ghost me, it hurts so much more if you have a deep physical connection. So I realized getting ghosted without having sex is like not that big of a deal. Like I get over it faster. But if someone ghosts me and we've already had sex, I'm like, wait, is it like me? There were so many factors. I was like, was it me? Was it like?

I mean, the sex obviously wasn't bad, but I mean, it wasn't that. I mean, I know I'm pretty good at that, but I was like, it was just so much more intense. Yeah.

This is kind of novel. Okay, so it's a defense mechanism? Yeah, well, I mean, I've gotten ghosted my fair share of times. Like, multiple times. And I just started to realize, I was like, to be less hurt, I just won't have sex with them. So you'll make out with them. But then what has to happen for you to have sex with them? Like, a couple dates? Like, you have to trust them? Oh, gosh. It's...

I would say like probably like three, maybe three or four dates. That's kind of my real three or four dates. So, so you would, this is where you draw the line. Like you're not going to go out, meet somebody and then take them home. But if they were like, if you went out, met somebody and then they texted you and like, can we do dinner? And then you did dinner again. Then you're kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say you entered to like a safe zone. Yeah. Like I've gone home with guys in New York city and I just like won't have sex with them. I'm like, I'll sleep over, but you're not getting below the belt. Right. Okay. Oh,

Oh, wait, that's cool. Yeah. Did you get second place, second basis? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's like, he was so cute. Just call him Bear. Bear. He liked your Bear's jacket. Yeah, I had a Bear's jacket on, so I was going to call him Bear. Did you like Bear, or did you get Bear's phone number? Yeah, but I didn't text him back. Okay. Is that because he doesn't live here, or just like you're over it? I just didn't, I didn't want to. Well, you have to stay single for the pod. Yeah, yeah. My rule I made with Alex is that I have to stay single for at least a year.

For content purposes. 365 of me wingmanning you. Yes. Yes. I mean, you can take me on dates all you want, but I can't get a boyfriend for at least until 2023. If you went on a date, could I come and sit at the table next to it? Kimmy and Graham go sit beside you? What do you think we're going to do when we go on these, like...

dates that I've won yeah like I'm not going alone okay okay good yeah that's true that's that's not safe yes but um yeah so anyways I don't do casual sex I just think it's like why put yourself through that pain you know what I mean like why I can I mean like I can wait a few dates you know what I mean no I think that's genius it is I didn't know what you were gonna say as to why oh yeah yeah that's a great reason yeah I just and also like

Like... It's a respect... Like, I... You do you. Like, if you want to have sex on a first date, go for it. I've been there. I've done that. But, like, it's never made me feel better. You know what I mean? I've never, like, left being like, I like this person more now. So, you did a cost-benefit analysis and turns out you don't really need to do it. Yeah. No, I don't. Like... Make out. Make out. Okay. Okay. I respect that. So...

Speaking of boys I'm now segwaying out of our Friday night I have another question for you Okay Have you seen Chad your office crush lately? Wait Oh my gosh Alex You were going to tell me something though And then we were laughing before we started Because you wouldn't Quick how did you get home?

Oh, yeah, because I don't have the Uber app. And so Alex wouldn't tell me before we recorded. She's like, I have to wait until we get it to the pod. Well, okay, so I take home the cab. Oh, wait, a cab? Yeah, so I get in a cab, but I sometimes travel without my wallet as well because I'm a genius. And so I tell the guy, I'm like, I just am going to Venmo you. And he's like, I don't take Venmo.

And I'm like, and he's like, do you, you really don't have your wallet? Like he starts getting mad because I'm already in the cab. And I'm like, well, what are my options here? And he's like, I only accept bank wiring. And I'm like, well, I, you know, I can't wire you. I'm like, well, how much do I owe you? I had to call my husband at 4 30 AM to wire the cab driver money. Your husband is a saint, a literal angel.

God's gift to earth. I can't stop laughing. Yeah, I know. He's like, he's been so sweet and he's going through the freshman year in stride with me. Like he understands new, new, new to New York, new to the new job, a lot of news happening. And I just notoriously like to have fun. Um, and he is like the four 30 bank wiring is a new one, Alex. I'm like, may that be the last time he's like, download Uber, get a new email lift. Oh, right. I haven't thought about lift.

Things that come out of your mouth sometimes Next one would be like phone, keys, wallet, Lyft Any app, any writing app, anywhere, please Alex might be older than me and married But sometimes I think I might be the more responsible Oh, absolutely, yeah Anybody can out-responsible me I had more key cards to get into this building made In a matter of one month Than I think Brandon Walker had in a year Is the stat that I heard And I still have to let you in on every Sunday Yeah, I know, it's a mess

But yeah, Chad. You had a question about Chad. Okay. So, yes. So, Chad, office crush of Jordan, who people think they know. Yeah. People... A lot of guesses. We have so many guesses, which is so fascinating to me that, like, I'm assuming people have put things together from what they've watched me do content-wise. But I'm fascinated with all the guesses because we have, like, 10 guesses. Oh, a lot of guesses. There's a lot of options. And... Yes. Oh, sorry. Okay.

I mean, school? Yes. Yes, sir. I think we could go ahead and address that right now. We're going to put Chad aside for one second, and we're going to talk about... Rudy. Rudy. And or lack thereof. Yeah. So the Super Bowl is...

Next Sunday. It's like Sunday. People are acting like it's a big deal. Yeah, and Rudy ditched us for the Super Bowl. Rudy went to Los Angeles. The city that he loves, apparently. He's been there like one day and he's like in love with it. Rudy... We FaceTimed him before this and he pissed us off. Rudy was like, I went to a rave last night. We said, Rudy, what's your cig count? Because he put up a photo of him smoking a cig. That was a great photo. It was a good photo. You know what's weird? What? I will...

I would never date a guy who smokes regularly. Like I can't say just smokes anymore because like I can't judge. But like I've never dated someone who smokes regularly. But man, when I see a man smoking, it is so attractive. Is it like bad boy status? I don't know. But all the guys smoke here and every time they do, I watch them and I'm like, Jesus, you guys look hot when you do that. This is going to be a loaded question. Does Chad smoke?

Don't answer that, actually. Yeah, I was like, I can't answer that. Because we just said that Rudy smoked. Yeah.

was evil it was wasn't it oh so rudy's sick counts 20 what's yours yeah he's rudy's in a pack he said he's in the dozen range yeah i think it's dozens um i had no cigarettes this weekend i did vape um but that's for anxiety purposes that's because i need it it's my medical uh vape that my doctor prescribed to me wait really no oh a lie i was like wow don't do that

You do do it. I do do it, but my doctor did not prescribe a vape for anxiety. Oh, right. Jordan prescribed herself a vape. Yeah. Vape. So I vaped a lot yesterday by myself. Okay, so sig count zero. Sig count zero. Rudy, sig count a thousand. A half of... A full pack. Which is 20. Yeah. So that's crazy. Okay. But...

mean zero no no yes of course like yeah no but rudy said that he was gonna come back with so he was like make predictions of like who you think like what you think people are gonna get into in la and we're like making jokes and he like made a comment about maybe he was gonna get a girlfriend and not come back which is not funny no he said a famous girlfriend a famous hot girlfriend

There will be no famous hot girlfriends in this house. Yeah, Rudy and Jordan will stay single for 365 days. Yeah, Rudy has the same single too. Rudy? Just for speculation purposes. He can go on dates. Not that him and I are going to get into anything. You are going to take that foot, put it in that mouth. I know.

the thing is like everyone's always like Jordan you say so much on the pot I'm like you do realize like Alex and I are smarter than we look like we say things a lot for certain reasons because we want people to speculate yes but we're open to speculation we're not open to your opinions though but everyone freaking gives them to us everyone lately has been like I got some thoughts on the mean girl and you know what we don't want them what did I tweet the other day I don't want your unsolicited opinions opinions

Opinions We don't want your unsolicited opinions Literally it No I don't want to hear I don't want your advice I don't want to hear anything come out of your mouth I don't want any of it I don't want it She's saying no It's the Yeah we do say things though For to open it up to speculation Now Oh yeah We have to get the people thinking Like I want people to think certain narratives I mean Just like Think Okay so we're gonna think about Chad Did you see him last week? Oh um

Yes But Not very much And I won't Going forward For a while Because like All And this is easy to say Because every man In this office Is going to LA Is Chad going to LA Is that what you just said Yeah They all are Okay so Chad Is going to LA That's a hint I think he is Okay he is I do happen to know No I mean I know he is But now I'm thinking I'm like No there's a lot of people Yes It's safe to say That Chad's going to LA Because the whole office Is going to LA Okay so But I'm not going to say when

Do not say when. No, but he will be in L.A. at least one day. And we don't know if he smokes or not. Okay. Okay. So now, since we're renting you out to date, and hey, you know what? To all the guys that are applying today, Jordan, what good news for you because you know she's down to make out. Yeah, I won't have sex with you, but I'll make out with you. So I've got two finalists.

that i'm going to we have a third but well the third is this is uh what are they being chandler being chandler being please where do you want to go to dinner with them oh i don't plan the first date they have to plan it another hint for him okay uh this is a dating application for uh jordan hold on i need we should like give some context can i see the faces yeah you can see faces i i'm such a voice person alex and i already can tell i'm not gonna like him

Let him down slowly He might have something really good to say Okay so a lot of DMs To apply to date I actually ended up with 18 videos That's Wow I'm flattered I know That's really nice And a lot of people are Not wanting to make the videos But want to date you But you got to make the video You have to put like a little effort in Okay so this is This is the first guy Can I see his face first Oh yeah he's cute Yeah he's really cute Sorry I didn't mean to make fun of your voice I wasn't making fun of your voice I'm just so critical of voices Okay

Give him a shot. Okay. Hello. This is a dating application for Jordan. Warren, I just got to say you're absolutely drop dead gorgeous. That is why I'm kind of pursuing this. So like I talked about, I'm super rich. Make

and i'm famous so this is the thing i'm famous on twitter i have almost 7 000 followers um you don't want to be dating some guy that no one knows that's not famous that doesn't have a podcast that isn't a celebrity like yourself so i think we're a great match i would love to take you out sometime in the city most expensive restaurant wherever you want to go doesn't matter love your pod love your content again you're drop dead gorgeous so let's go out sometime i'm brian

Look at my Instagram. His name is Brian. So his name is Brian, which is really funny. That's funny. I did some follow-up. So he said he has 7,000 followers on Twitter. I checked. He has 5,388. Fine. Still famous. Liar. So he's a liar. What if he smokes? He might smoke. I wonder how much money he makes. I asked that. I said I need a figure. How many figures? 75K. Okay.

Kevin is producing for us instead of Rudy and his hand is over his mouth. 75K. Alrighty. Okay, now this next one is the one I want you to go out with. What's his name? Can I see his face? Sawyer. Sawyer or Sawyer? Well, I'm going to say Sawyer and you're going to say Sawyer. Is it S-A-W-Y-E-R? Yeah. Sawyer. Sawyer. Saw. S-A-W-Saw. Let me see the face. Saw. Can I just like see his face?

Okay.

And to end it off, I like mean girls, and you guys are mean girls, so why would I not want to go on a date with you? Okay, first off, how tall are these men? Well, you said that everyone had to be above six foot, and some people were DMing saying that they didn't quite hit that requirement, so I lowered it to 5'9", roster height 5'9". So they could actually be 5'8". I had to do it. Everyone...

Sawyer's above six foot. I think you should go to a Nets game with him and sit on the third row. I'm trying to be nice. How much money does he make? Sawyer's an entrepreneur, which does not mean unemployed in this case. I checked. He actually does have a startup. A real one. I'll give you three rules. What were they? Rich. Rich.

six foot or higher or five nine in a beautiful voice sawyer had a beautiful voice they both did i mean i'm not being like i don't want to be mean like i'm not i don't want to judge like that's mean i don't mean um no they were both the mean girl pod also does he know does he know who i'm friends with like a basketball game is not going to intrigue me oh wow she just went there okay good so jordan left her filter at home so which one between the two are you going on a date with you got to go on the date with one of them i don't learn

I'm choosing Chandler. She's Jordan's not budging on this guy from common ground. If you saw his face, you wouldn't budge. Well, we'll put his face back up on the Insta story. Yeah, he's I don't think he was six foot. No, he's probably like five. I would say like 511. Yeah, I think he was 511.

So Sawyer and you will go Sawyer. No. Yeah, you guys will go to a Nets game. No, we're going to powwow and discuss this. I'm going to maybe look at the other contestants too because there's 18. Yeah, one guy could dance. We're going to put, let's put on the Instagram. All the contestants. Yes. And we'll have the people vote. Yeah, all the people.

Oh my god fun okay we'll do that we'll put all the guys In the Instagram you guys Can vote let us know who you want me to go on a date with Also thank you for everyone who Put an application that's extremely sweet I'm not trying to be mean right now No no you're not being mean you're just being honest Yes and Yes and I'm very flattered Like anyone even put in a request Oh plenty of people did they're still coming in I couldn't even find them all Rudy has an opportunity Rudy

No, not to go on a date with me. Oh, I was like, send in your video. For a girl to send in a video to go on a date with him. When Rudy's back from the Super Bowl, we will be renting Rudy out for a date. Yeah, we're going to rent Rudy out. Rent the Rudy. Rent Rudy. Rent the Rudy. I like that. Because that would be fun. That would be fun. And what else do we have to look forward to in life? Like, you know...

The Super Bowl, which you don't know who's playing in. No, I don't. Yeah. Who is playing? The Bengals versus the Rams. Cincinnati. The Bengals? Bengals. Where do they live? Cincinnati. And then the Rams? Los Angeles. Oh, duh. Home turf. I thought you couldn't play where you live. You can. Yeah. Yeah.

Now sometimes if there's like bowl games and things like that Like for colleges they'll do like a common That's real I guess because LA it was like planned Yeah so they like it's like the all-star game I guess Yeah

They pick a destination. Okay. So we're going to watch the Super Bowl. We got Valentine's Day, a bunch of stuff coming up. Oh, yeah. Her and I were going to spend Valentine's Day together, so that will be really fun. It'll be great. The Thunder play the Knicks on Valentine's Day. Yes. And we're going to go to that. Wait, the Knicks. MSG? Yep. Oh, heck yeah. Where else did you think they were going to play? Brooklyn. Oh, yeah. Nope. Just played there. Yeah.

I love MSG. I love the next. No, I love basketball games. Nets? Knicks. Knicks. Jesus. I love basketball games. Go sports! I'm trying to think. Are we forgetting anything? I don't think so. We've talked about everything on my list. I feel like we're forgetting something. We love New York. We love Tom Brady. We love our freshman year.

It's not that serious. It's not that serious. Nothing is that serious. No, we woke up on Saturday. Well, we didn't really wake up on Saturday. We woke up from a nap on Saturday. Yeah. And we had a little bit of anxiety. And Alex and I just kept telling each other it's not that serious. Because life isn't that serious.

No, and there's nothing wrong with going out and having fun. And that's why this podcast is so fun because we don't care what we say. We have no filter. No, we just want to make sure we're nice, which is so contradictory to the name. Yeah. And we have fun and we just talk about it. The freshman year chronicles. The freshman year chronicles. Of Jordan and Alex. And the next year will be sophomore year. And that will be cool. Senior year will be sad. Um...

I can't... That makes me really sad. Yeah, you know, like senior year is always sad. But it won't even really be our senior year because then we'll just have like a fifth year and then a sixth year. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll just keep staying at college. Exactly. So also, we do have a huge request for everyone. Please, if you haven't already, go to our podcast,

To follow or subscribe Rate us five stars Leave us a comment Then go over to YouTube Subscribe, comment Hit that thumbs up button And then go to Instagram And follow And just send it to a friend Send the podcast to a friend Yes, yes Send it to your best friend That you want to have A freshman year with Yeah, I mean this is This is Monday morning When you guys are listening To this So I'm sure a lot of people Are having just like The scaries The depressing episodes The loneliness The anxiety This will make everything better

everything better this will make it better and and send it to even your um fun married friend yeah mean girl monday um and if you ever have anxiety just think about the things that alex and i said then we have to face our co-workers who listen to what we say about them like rudy listening to this podcast that's right and all the other people we're gonna send it to yes okay we're signing off okay i'm leaving i'm bye