Barstool Holiday Party - Bonus Episode 41:10

What is up everybody welcome back to mean girl pod bonus episode 1.5 i'm jordan

I'm Alex. Wow, you have quite the radio voice. Oh my god. What is up everybody? I've been practicing. Do you practice in the mirror? I mean, yeah, but I also practice in my room every day when I do my little TikToks. Powerful. Is there a mirror in your room? No. It's kind of kinky if there is. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, you're not. No, I'm definitely not kidding. Alex, what are we talking about today? How...

I was laughing this morning. I'm like, two really important things happened yesterday. Like, we caught the leader of ISIS and the barstool holiday party happened. We did? Yeah. And then I was like, leaving today, and I'm like, there's some really cool stuff happening in the world. Like, go America. But anyways, Jordan and I are going to go in on the day we have off to talk about the holiday party. I did not know we caught the leader of ISIS. Dude, that's the world we live in. We just listen to stuff that doesn't talk about it.

Interesting. I actually don't listen to the news. I'm oblivious. What's that saying? I'm obliviously. No. Oblivious to all evil? Well, I like that. But no, it's like a saying where it's like fine to be naive because if you know too much, it's just like overwhelming. Yeah, I don't know. But it sounds like how I feel about the news as well. Oh, never watch it. But that's like something that we should know. Yes. I'm glad you told me. But now you know and then I know because my husband told me when I was leaving this morning.

And I thought to myself, off I go to cover the holiday party. What a night we had. The real work of the world. Yeah, we did. We got to get into it. We have to let the people know all the tea that happened last night. Okay, where do you want? Well, we should start with the fact that we actually hung out and got ready together. Yes, we need to start in the beginning. Well, the party was at six. You came over at four. That's because you told me to, and I do whatever you say. Dude, that's not going to age well.

I'll never forget that. Oh, God. I'll clip that. You have like this weird power. Like, not a lot of people can tell me what to do, but when Alex tells me what to do, I'm like, she's like my voice of reason. Oh, wow. So I just do it. Thank you for that power. I'll never forget it. Okay, but let's start. So yesterday was Wednesday. Today's Thursday. February 2nd. Beautiful. What a night to remember. Yeah.

I think it's fun because, okay, so Jordan and I are freshmen. We're in our freshman year here at Barstool. So you have to realize us going, the holiday party obviously should have been in December. COVID was crazy. So that's why it was February 2nd because we had to push it back. And what perfect timing that it happened after our podcast started. Mean Girl Pod. So we could cover the important news of the world, including but not limited to the Barstool holiday party. Yes.

And it was like, first, I just want to make a disclaimer. I should have started with this. I don't feel well today. I was just about to say Jordan's clear. I mean, I'm hungover as well, but at one point you listen, everybody has an Adderall and margarita night. You had yours last night. I had an Addy and margarita night and we'll get into that because I legit like legitimately did no figuratively and

Why don't you use less and less big words today? Why don't you stop with the, the, whatever the, I don't even know. Just keep it two syllables. I feel shaky right now. Like I'm not well. Yeah.

I just think between the two of us, I've obviously had more not well nights. However, that wasn't my night last night. That was your night. Which is good because we needed one of us on our A game to get all the tea. Like Alex has, if you're watching this on YouTube, a notebook of literally all the tea that we saw last night. Somebody had to remember what happened. So I went ahead and said, I'll do that tonight. Yes.

Coach put me in. I'll be the memory. You can go full send. Yes. And I had, I did go full send. We, so we started for you come over, we get ready. We did some Instagram lives. Jordan throws up a tweet at 5. PM that says I'm drunk. I'm wine drunk. Yeah. Because you fed me a bottle of wine. 5. PM, 5. PM Alex. Right. When I get there, Alex goes, let's open a bottle. And I was like, all right. And next thing you know, we're just chugging the whole bottle.

That sounded dramatic. It's the truth. We were just, you know, casually. I was fine. And then I checked Twitter and I'm like, what? You are? You're wine drunk right now?

The thing with wine, it's like one glass and it just turns my world upside down. As you're saying, goes but wine. But wine. But wine. So then we go Instagram live. That was fun. And if you want to – so Jordan and I have personal Instagrams, obviously. But go –

Forgive me for this god-awful plug, but go follow the Mean Girl pod because that's where we're going to do most of our stuff. Yeah, we need to get to 300K by Sunday. 300K by Sunday. That's really ambitious. 3K. Settle down. Settle down. We're on the low end of the totem pole. There are no zeros. Oh my god, I can't even see. 3K by Sunday.

Like, comment, subscribe, send this podcast to a friend. Give us a five-star rating. Oh, Jesus. All right. Am I going to have to put this team on my back for this podcast? Yeah. Okay, all right. So then we go to the party. Yeah. My mom comes over to go with us. She's having a mamitas. You know, Kim, my mom Kim, she's also feeling the liquid courage. Jordan decides to open up the conversation with my mom by saying, so Kim, do you think there's any hot guys in the office? My mom's been married for 33 years, but she just goes on ahead and says Dana Beers. Yeah.

She also said a few other names, too. I think she threw out Rudy, obviously. Obviously. Obviously. Yeah, she's like, Rudy. She just went for it, though. I was proud of her. Yeah, I love your mom. Yeah, I was like, okay. She was just like, she gives no fucks. None. There are none to be given. None to be given. So we go to the party. Yeah. It was at the Jane Hotel. What a bougie place. What a fabulous location for a barstool Christmas party in February. It was gorgeous. Awesome. Awesome.

The thing I noticed right off the bat, because we didn't eat dinner before, so I was looking for the food. So I just want to point out that it was biscuits with fried chicken in the middle. And what a power play. I had three of those. Power play. And then around like 10, pizza came. Mind you, the party started at 6 p.m., so 8 p.m. felt like midnight. 9 p.m. felt like 1 a.m. 10 p.m. felt like 2 a.m.

It's like starting to come back to me. I think I, I don't want to say blacked out last night, but I definitely browned out. I think. Okay. So people made bets on who would be the drunkest at the party as you would expect for barstool sports to do. Yeah. I put my money on Kelly Keegs who I knew was not, she was not going to be the drunkest girl at the party. She wasn't. She tweeted this morning that she was hung over, but Kelly's like fabulous always and always holds her alcohol fine. Um,

So this morning when I woke up, I said I would just like to say the drunkest person at the party was Jordan Woodruff, which you don't think is true. No, I don't think it's – no, it's not true. What'd you tweet? I wasn't the drunkest person at the party at Erica Nardini. And what'd she say? She said keep aiming high. Keep aiming – I love that. I do too. Keep aiming high, Jordan. Keep aiming high. But I feel like I came in heavily buzzed, but I did not leave that party –

drunk the first person we saw is the ceo erica and what did you say what was the genius uplifting motivational inspiring words out of your mouth so erica was talking to kim and alex and myself and like kim and alex just keep this great composure talking to ceo erica goes jordan how are you and i go i need a drink i was like that's good this is like a perfect what a start

Keep aiming high. When I drink wine, I can't, what is going on in my head comes out loud. Like I have no filter when I drink wine. You're a one glass wonder when it comes to wine. One glass wonder. I say things that I heavily regret in the morning. So it was an open bar and Jordan looks at me like five minutes and she's like, the drinks are free. And I'm like, it's a holiday party. What did you think? Like, did you think you needed to bring your wallet to buy your drink?

No. But now, you also said your... These are your exact words. My dreams came true last night. Yes, because... So, I love tequila. I've always wanted to try 1942. I never have. But the other...

tequila I've always wanted to try, which is like a step above 1942, is the bottle that's like blue and white. And they gave it to me last night. I got one shot of it and it was the best moment of my life. Did it taste great? It tasted... Oh, it went down so smooth. Do you feel hungover from that? Or no, you were mixing. It was all the other things. Well, I don't get hungover. Oh, that's... Wow. I actually don't. Okay, so you feel fine. I feel... So the only reason why I don't feel fine right now is because...

The lack of food I've intaked today. Intaked. Intake. The lack of intake of food. What have you eaten today? Granola bar. That's it? Yeah. It's like 11.15. I don't have an appetite. Not to brag, but I brought an Eggo with an egg on it to work. I don't have anyone to make me food. I made it.

Wait, what? Wait, because I'm married. I have somebody that makes me food. Yeah, we all know. Dude. That's the truth. It's not hard to pop an Eggo in the toaster and throw an egg on top. It's not a groundbreaking play. I.

Don't think very well today. I have not been thinking well today. But you don't get hungover. I don't. Well, what's happening? I don't know. What? Okay, okay. So, I also want to say about the holiday party, I think every single girl, girl, girl, girl, every single girl wore, she wore leather pants. Every single girl wore leather pants. I love that.

If you pee in your pants in this podcast room, I will take a video of it. I was going to say I'll leave and never come back, but it would be the greatest moment ever. I will 100%. That was actually hilarious. I legitimately almost peed my pants. Have you ever peed your pants? Yeah. From laughing. Oh. I pee actually. I've peed my pants a few times from laughing. Really? Yeah. Who are you giving out the drunkest award to? Oh, my God. Who did I decide? Oh, me.

See, I don't remember anything. Let me look in my notes. Oh, duh. Oh, my God. So the drunkest person I've seen. Tell us. I think KB.

Oh, that's right. Because you said he wasn't talking. So KB just like mysteriously walked into the... So K, first off, KB has this new look to him. KB does, and he looks great. He does. He wears glasses now, and he like parts his hair differently. And he's like very cleanly, cleanly shaven, cleanly shaven. Yes. So he just truly has swag now. He is KB swag. KB yes swag. Yes. KB pro swag. KB pro swag. Just slides into the party last night by himself.

Which is, which the level of confidence that it takes to go to a party by yourself. Yes, sir. Yes. So he slides in and he's, KP doesn't really talk a lot in general, but last night he just had a look to him where I was like, you're fucked up, bro. Like he's how you felt. You were, you were looking at him through those wine wonder eyes and you were like, I'm looking at a fucked up guy. Yes. He was hanging out at the bar the whole time. He was drinking a lot.

So he's my number one. Okay. There was a room. There was a large ballroom that had the photo booth. Photo booth in it, man. This is hard. So there was a big ballroom with the photo booth and the chicken sandwiches and the pizza. And then there was the bar room and the bar room was heavily more crowded as you would expect.

Yes. It's weird though working here and like because a lot of people are in content like we see these people all the time and then it was really weird taking all of them and putting them into a social setting. Yeah I didn't love it. I felt mentally exhausted afterwards. It's just going out with content people is a very weird phenomenon. Yeah it's fun. It's fun. It's just

It felt, I felt like a freshman. Yeah. That's all I can say. It felt like my first year of college and I'm like, I haven't digested it at all yet. Like our first frat party. That's right. It was our first frat party. It actually, yes, it was our first frat party. Did you diff Moe?

What's that? Dance floor makeout? No, I wish. No, you didn't because, oh my God, probably perhaps the most groundbreaking problem of the night was that Jordan's office crush wasn't there. He was not. Which you kept saying. I know. So I, there's one, sometimes more, but there's one man in particular that I like. There is one that is leaps and bounds above the others. Yes. We'll call him Chad.

Chad was not there last night. We're not going to call him Chad. But then we decided on Chad. No. Why not? For some reason, I've got this ISIS thing in my head and I was thinking Hiroshima. We are not calling him that. We have to think. We can't call him Chad. But Chad's funny because no one in this office is named Chad and Chad's just like a douchey name.

All right, Chad. Chad. I don't like Chad for the record, but okay. It's my crush, not yours. But I have to talk about him and hear about him. That's true. You hear about him all the time. You would come up to me and be like, Chad's not here. And I'd be like, no, I know. And then you would leave and say hi to somebody else and you'd come right back and be like, did you know Chad's not here? I never did that. And I was like, you wouldn't know? You're going to really say you never did that?

Yeah. At one point you came up to Gaz and I, who Gaz runs social if you don't know. Gaz is like the third employee here. Yeah. Like you should know. Yeah. Gaz has been here forever. Gaz is at the party and Jordan comes up to us. She's like, my crush isn't here. I said that? Yeah. And Gaz is like, wait, what? Am I telling you something you don't know? I do not remember telling Gaz that my crush, I didn't say his name, did I?

No. And then, and then Gaz was like, well, of course your crush isn't here. And I go, well, no, he works at Barstow and Gaz goes, oh no, no, no, no, no. Do not tell me. Dude. I don't remember that. I just, I don't, I don't want to like argue with you. I just want to say, that's why you also don't remember telling me that Chad wasn't there.

I know. I believe everything you're saying. I'm just like, geez. See, that's the thing with wine. I say things. I have no filter. I will tell someone my deep. I'll tell them my social security number when I drink wine. You come up to me and you're like, what's your social security number? I'll tell you. If I tell this podcast, your social security number, if I 440, I wait. No, hold on. It's almost like I don't want to paint this picture the wrong way.

One glass Wonder Jordan is the best thing ever. It's a blast. I love that you'll tell people your social security number. I love all of this that's happening. Yeah, no, it's bad. So like when I drink wine, I can drink other alcohol and be fine. But wine does this weird thing to me where I like become this person.

I don't know. I don't know. I just become this person that says everything that I've always wanted to say. Good. And I go on my phone and I'm like, I have Twitter fingers. I have Instagram fingers. I have text fingers. I have call fingers. I literally will call every single...

Sorry to interrupt you. That's one of our rules is no interrupting. No, I'll just like text and call. Like I become boy crazy. Did you call Chad? No, I'm sorry. We should not do this hungover. It almost just came out of my mouth. I swear to God, Alex. It's not gonna, but it was close. If you do, I would actually murder you. That would be good for the pod. This tape will be destroyed. No, if you if I accidentally say his name, you have permission to do what?

Will you answer some questions about him? What do I have permission to do? Well, like you could say if I ever said his name out loud, you could do something to me. Like I would get punished by you. You would have to pay me. Okay. Actual money? Yeah. How much are you charging me? I don't know. You have a lot of money. No. No, I don't. Billionaire Bennett, you're going to pay me $50. Oh, okay.

I'm contemplating saying it. No, don't, please. I'm not going to. Okay, ask me a question. Okay, all right. Is he, is Chad, I think it's not fair to assume, would you like to say Chad's gender? Male. Okay, I just don't think it's obvious. Oh, that's a good point. He's a boy. He's a man. So you like men. I do like men. Let's get that out there. Okay, would you say that Chad is like,

sales or corporate side of Barstool? Is he more like production content? Like would we know him? Production content, second floor. So second floor for those listening means like that's where the content people, the non-corporate computer people sit. Okay.

Would you say that he is married or not married? Not married, not in a relationship. I do not fall in love with people who are taken. That's good. Thank you. Oh, I'm not in love either. Oh my God. Oh, is it love? How long have you liked this person? I don't know. I've only been at barstool like what? Four months. So, so four months. No. Three, two and a half.

I feel like probably like actually liked them like maybe two. Okay. Yeah. Two. All right. Okay. So here's the thing. I just want to point out that Rudy is not here today. No, he was not at the party. You mean? That's how bad my head hurts. Rudy was not at the party.

Maybe Rudy's on the list. I don't know. Well, no, we don't know. It's just... Just... Just let that linger. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of people in the DMs... Also, get in the DMs. Please. Because we are having a lot of fun responding to the DMs. We're renting Jordan out. Now, Jordan does have an office crush on chat. However...

Chad didn't go to the party. I don't think Chad knows. And you say you don't want to date a coworker. Yeah, I would never date a coworker. So I am fully open to Alex pimping me out to the outside world. I'm 100% going to make you date a coworker and or go on a date with a coworker. But I did. I do have an album on my phone where people are submitting. Okay, so here's the here's the way to win a date with Jordan. One, you got to you got to rate the podcast five stars. Send us a screenshot.

Yeah. Number two, I'm going to ask you for a video that's 30 to 45 seconds long pitching why you would make a great date for Jordan. These videos are phenomenal. I have 11 of them. Jesus. No, I'll, I'll, we'll do them on Sunday. They are so good. Somebody told me their salary is,

Because you know what I like. Okay. Also, last night at the party, Jordan, I'm not kidding you. We're talking. It's me, Jordan, and Gaz again. Gaz and I have kind of gone off and we're in our own little world talking. Jordan's eyes were closed for a moment. She opens her eyes and this is what comes out. I just want to date a guy that's rich. That's the words out of her mouth. And Gaz and I just look at each other.

Gaz is like, okay, well, what? So he actually had a great question for you. Yeah. He said, what's the age? You said 30 to 35. However, you told me previously it was 30 to 50. I in no world would date a 50 year old. Okay. So what's the age range? Um, probably like, let's say, I mean, you can make money any age. I would say like 28 to 36.

Okay, so 36 is the top. Yeah. So then Gaz says, if the person's 30 to 35... Gaz is like into this at this point. He's like, okay, well, I'm just thinking out loud. If he's 30 to 35, he probably doesn't have the amount of money that you're talking about unless he's in crypto. And in my drunk mind, I'm like, that's a phenomenal point. There's no other way. And then I say, or if you are like Alex Bennett and you marry into money. And then I'm like, Jordan! I don't know what to say to that. I mean...

You have a, Alex had a good point. Like when you marry into money, usually the people suck, but Alex is married to the most amazing person ever. So there is hope to marry into money and have a good marriage.

My hands are so tied, Rick, responding to this. Wait, did I just meet Alex Bennett in an argument? Okay, we'll take it. Let's go. I'm not arguing. I don't have a rebuttal because I'm like on one token, I'm like, I have no money. But on the other token, then I just end up getting roasted. It's a lose, lose, lose, literal lose for me. Yes. So, but the consensus is I need to find somebody who has new money.

I just thought this is what I wonder about crypto though. What's the longevity on that? Do we know enough? Is it sustainable? Crypto? Are they investing in the right places? See, that stresses me out because crypto in general, I just get overwhelmed because it's not tangible. It's like, so like it just floats in space.

Don't say the S word. Okay, so we have three blackout topics that we don't talk about. First one is pop culture. Space. Space. Nobody say space. And then the last one is death. Yeah. Oh, and Zoom. No Zoom. No Zooming. No Zooming. So don't say Zoom. Don't say space. Don't say death. Don't say pop culture. Moving right along. Yes. I think you should date somebody that's an oil. Or insurance. Insurance. An insurance salesman. All right. Medical sales? All right, Alex Bennett. Yes.

I worked in corporate insurance for four years. I'm not going to go back to insurance. I'm not asking you to go apply for a job. I'm saying you could date somebody. Also, oil. I lived in North Dakota for four years. They have a lot of oil there. Yeah. You're just bringing up my past. What's wrong? What's wrong with it? I'm just throwing out some industries that could have. I think ideally I would like to date somebody in finance because finances do stress me out. And if I could date somebody who can handle that for me, I would be in love.

Would you sacrifice like emotional connection for money? No. Okay. I'm such a fricking romantic at the end of the day. What do you think is the best way to meet a guy besides at the office holiday party? The guy that named Chad that you already love.

Honestly, I feel like it's so hard to meet people these days. I feel like the best way in my mind is like a friend of a friend. So like if I was hanging out with you and Graham and Graham brought his friend or like you and your brother and your brother brought a friend. Or you just like date Rudy. He's a coworker.

Technically he is. So you're opposed to dating a coworker. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. Let's put it on the record. Yeah. Okay. Even after one glass of wine, if Chad was there and Chad was like, I want to kiss you, would you kiss Chad back? Oh yeah. There's a big difference between dating and just hanging out. Rudy's nodding his head in agreement. He's like, uh-huh. Okay. So you, he wouldn't be your boyfriend though. No, he wouldn't be my boyfriend. My boyfriend.

Okay, what are we going to do this weekend? Because you and I... So Jordan and I are trying to bond, right? Because we're podcast co-hosts now. Yeah. And we got thrown into the fire with Dave, and that's a great way to bond. So that's how we figured out we liked each other. But now we're like...

I liked you before that. Don't look at me like that. But I now we have to hang out. So we're going to go out tonight and tomorrow and probably Saturday because all we have are good ideas. Great. We're full of good ideas. Wait, we need to spill some more tea. OK, tell me what.

So, first off, we got to talk about the substances that some of us did last night. Dude, two people offered me cocaine. Yeah, that's crazy. I said no to both those people. Good for you. That's an easy no for me. We did say yes to a substance similar to cocaine, which is Adderall. And let me tell you, had an Alex Bennett, Addie, and Mark night, because the weirdest thing happened. So, obviously, you guys all know, like, Alex took Adderall with alcohol, and she, like, passed out. I literally fell asleep.

dead asleep on the bar so the weirdest thing happened last night I took Adderall I passed out I am like it was paralyzing how tired I got all of a sudden I took it we got to the next bar I couldn't keep my eyes open do you feel sorry for me now do you know what I'm talking about Addie and Mark Addie and Mark Addie and Mark is supposed to be a recipe for the best night ever and so much fun wait margaritas have tequila in them

I drank tequila last night. So tequila and margarine don't mix. Or tequila and Adderall don't mix. No, because tequila is an upper. Adderall is a... Upper. So two uppers, double negative, equal downer. Okay, I don't want to poke holes in this theory. But I also drank tequila and took the Adderall. And I stayed up until 3 a.m. solving the world's problems with my husband, who was on the receiving end of somebody that would not shut up. I feel like...

But maybe it's the amount of tequila you have. Let's try to like perfect the concoction. Yes. Because you had eight margaritas. What? Oh, the night I passed out. I was like, I didn't have any margaritas last night. Yeah. Yeah. Give or take. I had three shots of tequila last night. Seven bottles of wine. Two, but two tequila sodas. Okay. So that's five shots.

Those tequila sodas definitely were doubles. Okay, so nine. So I think if you have more than eight shots of tequila and you mix it with Adderall, you pass out. I also think there's something to be said for the timing of the Adderall intake. Yes, 100%. Now my mom can't listen to this episode. Remind me to text her because she does not approve of Adderall in alcohol. Same with my mom. Stop listening. Addie and Margs. Addie and Margs.

But it's a vibe if you do it right. Exactly. And you didn't do it right the Yak Live show. I didn't do it right last night. I got my Uber and I passed out. You guys, I never pass out. Ever. So weird. Like, I couldn't keep my eyes open. I was in the Uber and in my head I go, please keep driving because I just want to stay asleep.

You were that tired? I was so tired. I walk up to my room at my apartment, and I'm like a psychotic person when it comes to washing your face before bed. Like, skincare, all the things. Last night, I almost didn't wash my face. Whoa, you almost didn't wash your face? Yeah. I was so tired. I've never been that tired in my entire life. Let's make merch. I almost didn't wash my face. Almost. But wait, hold on. This is what we need to know. Did you wash it? I did wash my face. Oh, my God.

She washed it. I can't. I spend a lot of money on my skin, okay? No, dude. Skin is like your most valuable asset. It is. It's all I got. It's like, oh, did you just wink? Jordan just winked at a camera. If you're on YouTube, lucky you. I can't wink, but I'm going to try to perfect that. She's out here throwing out winks. No. So, yeah, I had an Addie Marks night. Congratulations. I also smoked another cig. That's a horrible habit that I'm developing. Yeah.

That'll get you. Yeah. That'll make the skin work backwards. I know. I'm in on it for you. I mean, I don't care. Just let me know. It's because whenever I hang out with Joey, freaking Joey. Joey works here. He hosts the Out and About podcast. Yeah. He always has a

pack of cigs let me just say this let me just let's just do this let's just make this a thing would you mind every episode giving us your cig count sure okay so what's your cig count one like in from the night before no no from the week oh from the most previous recording in this case that would be uh sunday are we only talking about like hardcore cigarettes are we talking about like uh vaping too can you count vaping i don't think so like can you okay so so rudy's giving us the hardcore cig count all right give us the cig count one

One. Yeah, I only had one. Great. Well, we were not a chain smoker. Well, sometimes it might be five. Sometimes it might be zero. I that's another thing. When I drink, I just want to smoke. That's that's what I would never pick up. I would never pick up a cigarette sober. You wouldn't never say never. Never say never. OK, Sig counts. I'd be a new thing. One, which is so disgusting. Who wants to date someone who fucking smokes? I don't. I don't smoke. I'm not a smoker.

I'm going to put it on the record. Can you say you're not a smoker if you smoke a cigarette? Hold on. That's like saying, let's just think this through. I think you can. Like what constitutes a smoker? You know what I mean? Like you buy a pack of cigs. I've never bought a pack of cigs. I think that's good. Yeah. I don't know though because if you say you're not a drinker, straight up not a drinker, if you have a glass of wine, I mean you did drink.

You're making valid points. Well, I know I don't have this worked out in my head yet. I'm trying to decide like what I think. I don't think I'm a, I don't think I am because I've never bought in a pack of cigarettes. You're not a smoker. I agree with that. And I only smoke when I'm drunk. So I own, I'm just equating it all to drinking. I only drink when I'm stressed out.

I, like I said, when I drink wine, I just do things that Sober Jordan would never do, like smoking cigarettes. Do you believe that Sober Jordan and Drunk Jordan are the same person or not? Yeah, so I feel like Drunk Jordan is everything I want to be, but I can't be when I'm sober. But I feel like as time goes on with this new job, I'm allowing myself to be. So I think Drunk Jordan is my true personality. I just can't.

fully push it out there when I'm sober. Let me ask you this. People do weird things when they're blacked out. So sometimes like, let's say one of our best friends called us a bitch when we, they were completely blacked out. Okay. The next morning, if they're like, I am so sorry. I was completely blacked out. Do you think them calling you a bitch is like a little part in their soul or not at all? Do you completely give them a pass? No. Are you, there's a say, here's me with the sayings again, but there's a saying where it's like,

Like drunk you tells like, is like what? Drunken words are sober thoughts. Drunken words are sober thoughts. So yeah. Like, but do you believe that? Yes. 1 million percent. Okay. A hundred percent. Like when people tell me stuff drunk, I take it more personally than if they were sober. See, I have to have to say this from personal experience. There was some times in college where I would say something and like my, my best friends would be like, this is what you said last night, idiot. And I would be like, no part of me thinks that.

Like that, that's where I started to debunk that theory. I don't have, I still don't know what I think, but I, because they would tell me like you said X and I'd be like, I truly don't think that like at all. Any part of me. Interesting. Isn't that weird? Yeah. I'm the opposite. Everything I say, I definitely mean.

When I'm drinking. That's interesting. I'll remember that. Yeah. No, literally. Like, I mean, I also don't like things. I don't do that. Things you said last night. Wants to marry rich. Hashtag mint it. Told a number of employees who I like. You did say Chad's real name. I always do that. Every time we're out with coworkers, I tell. But this time I told girls. I'm going to stop talking now. Rudy, do you know Chad's real name? I do not.

Okay. So not everybody knows. No. I told...

How many people did you tell? I think three. I think we can make it out alive by episode 10 of Mean Girl Pod with nobody knowing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No one will ever know. It's a wild card. You never would guess. Or maybe it's not a wild card. Maybe you already do know. Except you're telling people. I know. I will see. We'll play it by ear. Maybe it's nobody. It's definitely somebody. Yeah, it's definitely somebody. Okay, what's the one thing you want to do this weekend? Like, what's one thing you want to do to bond with me? You're bonding with me. I want to go to breakfast with you.

To a diner. To a diner. I will take you to a diner Saturday morning. You go to the coolest restaurant places or breakfast places. Diners only. It needs to have old school ketchup on the counter and the old school sugar for it to be good. Yes. Otherwise, we're not messing with it. What do you want to do with me? For some reason, I'm really craving sushi. I just want to wear sweatpants and like go to dinner tonight. That's what I want to do tonight. Very badly. Sweatpants. Like I want to wear this outfit out to dinner and just like hang out. Are we allowed to drink?

Yes. Okay. 100% How do you feel about the word 100%? 100%. How do you feel? Are you down with it? I always say that. Do you think that something can go above 100% and be 110%? Can you give 110%? Yeah. You think you can? Yeah. Well, me personally, no. No, yeah. That's not what I meant. I'm just kidding. I do think a lot of... Yes. Wait, you think that it's possible... So what's the limit? The limit does not exist? 200%.

What about if I'm like, I gave 235%. You in? I would. Well, yeah, with you, I would say, okay. Someone else said that to me. I'm like, fuck off. You don't want to cap it at 100? No. I'm like 99% sure that we should.

Wait, what? Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, numbers are difficult. I know. I think we should cap it at 100. I think so, too. Also, I'm just going to quick go through the office tea list we have because we are missing a few things. Jordan wants to air all the things that she thought about the holiday party. Air it. We have to because people are listening for that. Who am I to stop you? Apparently, someone in this office has a massive, can I say it? You're halfway there. Massive dick. Well, not, Rudy's raising his hand. Yeah.

No, we got confirmation on to who it was. Yeah. Someone has a massive dick. So I'm sure multiple people do. Oh, God. Yeah. What? Why say no, God? Oh, because I just remembered something like I talked to a lot of people last night and it's just like it's amazing if you can have a conversation when you're drunk, like you must be the most boring person ever. Call him out by name. No, you won't. Because they're they're not in. They're not in what?

They're not on the content floor, and I don't want to, like, call anyone out that's not in content. Why wouldn't you just shout an alias? Oh. You know, like, Ricky. Ricky. Okay, so Ricky last night. You were trying to have a combo. Yeah. Were you interested in Ricky and thought he was cute and there was no drunk connection? Yes. I think that's a very good point. If there's no drunk connection, it's guaranteed there will be no sober connection. Yeah. Okay. Loosen up a little. Have some fun. All I'm learning from this conversation is I have a mind.

massive roster in this office of who I think is attractive but the list gets shorter every day did that make sense it did so you got a long list but day by day you're scratching them off yeah literally but it's Chad at the top yeah but there's like a close second this is so juicy I know all right we'll keep everyone posted keep going on your list what else you want to um

Oh, people said some things last night that we were not expecting to hear. Give us an example. Like people approached us and gave us their true opinions on how they feel about you and I starting this podcast. Opinion. Oh, fuck off. No. Yeah. Opinion. Oh. Oh. Opinion. No, dude, you're the one that says opinion, not me. See the power you have? You just told me to fuck off for saying your word. You say opinion. Opinion.

Hey, nobody great ever got anywhere without any haters. Exactly. I welcome that. But I just realized, I was like, all right, I see how you feel about you and I. Great. Open that wound. Let's rub some salt in it. So that was fun. That's great.

I'm fine with that. What else? I think it'd be a problem if we didn't have haters on the pot. Oh, one million percent. I'd be wondering. See right there. That's a million. That's over 100. That's fine. I don't even realize what I say half the time. Do you have anything else on your list? I have ISIS on my list, which is sad. Hungover. Oh, I'm doing something else. I'm adding something to the blacklist of what we can't talk about. What is it? News.

ISIS was important. I don't care. I don't want to talk about that. You should care. I do care about it in our world. Like, it's a great thing, but like, I don't, that's, that's not like when I hear that, that makes me think. And I don't want to think. Abu Yerahim Al Shami. I wrote down the name. That was me this morning trying to function.

Freshman No I don't I don't have anything else I mean I think my mom Was the potential To be the drunkest At the party Because people kept Giving her shots But she left in ample time My mom did though Call the Uber From the Jane Hotel Back to the Jane Hotel So that was riveting Addie and Mark's At Jordan I wrote that down Yeah

I'm at a mark night. I mean, I'm feeling good about my list. I think we're good. Oh, I do want to say two things because the girl that I wanted to quick talk about just commented on something on Instagram. Casey Smith can hold her alcohol. Casey Smith is a boss in every aspect of life. I literally told – because Alex and I were discussing who got the drunkest last night, and she was saying like she thought Kelly, and I was saying –

did Casey drink and Alex like no she was like blackout I go wow she can hold her alcohol no I don't know if she was blackout but I definitely saw her drinking yeah I'm like she was definitely like having fun and drinking her and Kelly they're so great scary duo oh powerful powerful duo make it move literally like those two are like like they drink you never know you never know

Yeah. It's not lights on no one home. It's like lights on someone's home. Yeah. Literally. It's fine. Literally. Someone's in the kitchen making cookies. So I think Casey and Kelly win the award for the people who can hold their alcohol the best.

I think Paul Golzinski also can. Yeah, that too. That's gas, aka gas. He can. No, everybody in this office can. Yeah. Perhaps besides you and I. We're just like kids in a candy store right now, though. We're just like- We're freshmen. We're freshmen. We're in New York. We're not even 21 yet. We're straight up from the Midwest. We're underage drinking. People can't even identify where we're from on a map. Literally, by our voices.

And we come to New York, get a job here. We're just having fun. Literally. Like we're literally underage kids in a alcohol shop. Yes. Yeah. We're 19. We are 19. It's our freshman year of college. Like we just left the nest. Yeah. We don't know how to do laundry yet. No. I don't know how to cook apparently. You don't know how to pop an Eggo in a toaster. Freshmen don't even have toaster in their dorm rooms. That's true. Let's be roommates.

Oh, I'm moving in. Freshman year roommates. Freshman year roommates. Hell yeah. Okay, this is fun. I feel like...

I was just about to say something. You were too. What? You go first. You go first. Well, what I was going to say is we got a lot of productive feedback last night also, which is why don't you go ahead and let people know where this podcast is going? And with that, I think we should tell them it's going to be literally the diaries of our freshman year at Barstool. Yes, and that's perfect. So I was going to say this is a good time to wrap up also because I feel like I'm going to die right now. This is a phenomenal time to stop talking.

Um, yeah, you, you go explain where this is going. The mean girl podcast is going to be about Jordan and I, and everything that happens at barstool, our freshman year at barstool living in New York, like us getting to know each other. We're going to, we're just going to be like your best friends in your ear. Literally. We're going to get into a lot of trouble together, bro. Let's try to get fired. Just kidding. I don't want me there. We love our job. All right, let's, let's, let's wrap it up. Anyways. Um,

You need to like that. You need to go to Apple and you need to go to Spotify separately. Go to both. Do them both. And you need to go there. You need to rate this podcast five stars. You need to leave a comment. It can be mean. I don't care. Just leave a comment. And you need to subscribe. Follow. You need to also go to YouTube and you need to subscribe. You got to also go to YouTube and like our video. You also have to go to Instagram and follow. You also have to go to Twitter and hit follow. You have to go to TikTok and hit follow. Just do all of those things. You do all really quickly.

Listen, everybody, everyone, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'll go on a date with you. Maybe. If Alex approves. Yeah, send us a video. I think, yeah, we're going to continue to...

Whore Jordan out for the hashtag for the pod. Pimp. Pimp. Pimp my ride. And on Monday, we're going to be releasing the guys that are in the running to go on a date with me. Yeah, that'll be that episode. Also, it'll be about our weekend. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to go. We GTG.