PEEK 35:48

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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot...

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer. Hey, it's Trevor again. Thank you for listening to this episode of Mayfair.

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Observers of the strange, paranormal, occult, unwelcome, unspiritual, horrifying, mystical, secret, transcendent, repulsive, captivating, unwelcome, appalling, gruesome, unseen, magic, weird, revolting, horrifying, unseen.

Welcome to Mayfair Watchers Society. Hey! How's studying? Almost over. That's what matters. How's unpacking? Well, the evidence is currently on camera. Still, looks like you can make a pretty sweet box fort in there. Oh yeah, so much room for activities. I can't wait to come help out and start cooking at home again. I'm in instant ramen hell right now. Baby! Baby!

Oh my god, breathe! Breathe! I'm okay.

You're okay. Lift with your knees, please. If you're gonna throw your bag out, I'm not gonna be there to carry you to bed. Oh yeah, that's why I plan to throw it out on Friday and take the weekend off. Don't even joke. You are moving in on Friday, though, right? Knock on wood. You're too superstitious, you know that? I don't want to tempt fate. We're so close. I just... I feel like fate has better things to do.

Okay. Okay.

Didn't you live there for like 18 years? 18 years of being freaked out. It was a blessing to finally move. Well, not quite. Still got a few days. Don't attempt fate, right? Have any trouble getting the keys? Um, it's complicated. Oh no. I'll lead in with the goodness. The complex is pretty nice. Well lit. Airy. No roaches. Yet. I'll bring the raid, just in case.

But the landlord... It's always the fucking landlord. Okay, he might be the building manager. I can't tell the difference. But the dude is a total psycho. For real. What an asshole. What'd he do? So I went to fill in the last of the paperwork. Make sure our deposit was secured, grab the keys. But get this, right? As I try to leave, he grabs my fucking wrist. No! What the fuck? Right? Right?

He grabs my wrist, he looks me right in the eye, and he says, we better not try to leave early and violate the lease, because the last tenant did that, and he got reamed in civil court for it. Jesus. Yeah, the less I see of that creep, the better. But everything else is good so far. Neighbors seem friendly. Oh, have you met some of them already? Not face to face, but someone left me a note. What did it say? Let me get it, one sec.

Ready for a dramatic reading? Sure. Right? After that prick of a landlord, I was worried we moved into asshole heights.

This is gonna sound stupid, but you don't think he's got any secret cameras or microphones in there, do you? You know what? I hope so. I'd sue the shit out of him and buy a house. Hey, hey! Hi! One final down, two to go. Cheers to that. Please don't unpack anything heavy while you're drinking. Or breakable. What?

You don't think I can hold my $3 Chardonnay? No, I don't think you can hold a heavy box after drinking it. Touche. So, how do you think you did? Can't say. It'll jinx it. I can light one of my magic candles for you. Oh, God. No naked flames and alcohol while I'm still 80 miles away, please. Jesus Christ, Nora. Chill. I'm not gonna burn the apartment down.

Still, might be worth it to see the look on that shitbag landlord's face. Oh no, more trouble with him already? It's gonna be 16 months. But hey, it's not my fault he's so fucking aggro about everything. What was it this time? I was getting a head start on unpacking earlier, at like 4pm, and suddenly he's hammering down the front door, telling me that downstairs tenants have noise complaints and I need to cut out the racket.

Thanks, mom. Oh.

Any other horror stories for me? Just with finals and everything, I feel like I'm sleeping too well lately. Well, if my run-in with our charming landlord is anything to go by, seems like we've got wafer-thin walls. So, if we plan on doing anything naughty, we may need to keep it ASMR. We'll Amazon some of that soundproofing foam. See if that does the trick. Oh, yeah. And it'll be a great excuse to finally record that Screamo LP I've been putting off.

Have you met any of the neighbors yet? Not really. Everyone here seems to keep to themselves. I saw this one lady in the laundry room. Older Hispanic woman, like 50s maybe. And when I said hi, she turned around with a really friendly smile, but it just sort of melted off as soon as she saw me. And then she just left. Didn't even stop to grab her clothes. Fucking rude. And bizarre.

You weren't, like, wearing a satanic t-shirt or something, were you? What? Is Madonna satanic? Depends on how Catholic you are, I guess. But yeah, other than that, I haven't seen anybody. It's weird. It's a big building. I just feel like... I kind of feel like every time I leave the room, everyone else hides. Do you think they've got a secret group chat that we're not invited to? Fuck knows. You know, small-town people...

Not to generalize, but I did live there for 18 years. Some people there can be a little close-minded. Maybe they've got a problem with us. Well, I mean, it's not like they've seen us together, right? But both our names are on the lease. People talk, you know? Look, so I know at least some of the people in this building are pricks. We'll upgrade that to homophobic pricks if and when we see the evidence.

I just... I don't want to feel unsafe in my own apartment until something gives me a good reason to, okay? Jesus Christ! It's like ten at night. Who the hell could that be? Oh God, oh no, I bet it's the landlord. I knew he had cameras. Just a sec. Ellie? Who is it, Ellie? Oh, thank God. You had me palpitating. What was that? There was nobody out there. Just another note slid under the door. At ten? Yeah. One sec. Let me read it.

Okay, okay. Sorry I haven't come by to say a proper hello yet. I've been so busy with work. Maybe sometime soon we can get to know each other properly. I can bring over a bottle of wine. It's the least I could do to welcome you to the building. Signed, your new neighbor. Finally, someone on my wavelength. Should I be jealous? I don't know. I guess we'll see how good the wine is. Oh, don't make that face.

Unless anonymous neighbor turns out to be Charlize Theron, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm always going to find something to worry about. Well, how about we do some unpacking to take your mind off it? Ellie, you are way too many drinks deep for that. Fine. I'm fine. I think being drunk actually makes me a more cautious decorator. Trevor Henderson here with an ad break. If you'd like to get early and ad-free access to Mayfair Watchers Society, consider supporting us on the Apollo Podcast app.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot, Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer. And now back to our show.

Hey, what's up? Those messages you sent earlier were a little worrying. It's just... It's been a day. How are finals going? About the same. We don't need to talk about it. What's been happening, Elle? It's the people in this fucking building. You lived here. Is everyone in Mayfair like this, or do I just bring it out on people? Like what? Just fucking weird. You know, standoffish. Bad vibes. Baby, what happened?

Okay, so like, a couple things. There was this incident in the elevator earlier today. These two guys, maybe about our age, they were talking and laughing when the door opened, but I swear to God, the second they saw me, they just climbed up. Stone-faced. I said hi, tried to be friendly, told them I was new to the building. Nothing. Maybe like a nod at most.

Well, maybe it wasn't you. Maybe they were talking about something private, or... Okay, if it was just the one thing, I might believe that. But it wasn't just the elevator. Somebody was fucking with our mailbox. Holy shit, what? Did you see them? No, but there was this sticker. None of the other mailboxes had one. This big, creepy, cartoon eyeball sticker.

It took me 15 minutes to scrape the fucker off with my key. Maybe some kid was just screwing around. No. I get that you're trying to help, but no. It was like a good quality vinyl sticker. The kind people get for their cars. Something meant to stay. I know this sounds insane, but it felt like we were being singled out. Ellie, honey, take it from a chronic worrier. I get being freaked out by all this, but there is a good chance these are all coincidental events.

Either that, or it's just the asshole landlord talking shit. No way there'd be some building-wide conspiracy against us, right? Are you asking me or telling me? Well, I'm not there yet. All I have to go by is what you're telling me. And isn't that enough? Our minds can draw weird connections sometimes. I'm a psych major, I know all about this. I just don't get why you're not more bothered by this. You're always the one who gets bothered by stuff. No offense.

Maybe I'm just too knee-deep in finals right now. I'm using up all my worrying space. Plus, my GAD ends at my own borders. I can look at your problems like a normal person. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish I had paranoid Nora right now. She'd get me. I do get you, which is exactly why I'm trying to talk you down. We don't want to ruin this next step for ourselves until we know we have a good reason to. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Did I tell you about the hallway? What about it? I've been hearing things out there. What kind of things? Do you promise you'll let me tell you the whole thing before you start throwing rationalizations at me? Okay. So, I swear, every now and then I'll hear footsteps coming down the hall towards our apartment. And they'll come to a stop right near our door. But when I go to open the door, there's nobody there. Explain that, Nora. Okay, okay.

Before I tell you what I think, I want to ask what you think is happening here. I don't know, but it seems like everyone in this building knows something I don't, and I'm getting pretty fucking sick of it. I get it, I really do. Mayfair can be kind of a weird town. I know I saw something I couldn't explain back at home, but at some point you just have to accept that there always is an explanation. You just might not know it at the time. What's your explanation for the hallway thing, then?

It could be a couple of things. You said yourself that we're dealing with thin walls and ceilings here. It could have been someone on the floor above or below. But... Or, given that the footsteps seem to stop near our apartment, it could just be our neighbors in the place next door. Do you know who lives there? No, but I guess I could look into it. Moving in alone has just been more stressful than I thought. I'm sorry you're taking this on by yourself. Just a couple more days and I'll be there.

Why don't you take an early night? Get some good sleep? You deserve it. Listen to some of those chill-hop playlists you like. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Handpacking can wait till tomorrow. Mind if I bring you in with me? I don't want to keep you up too late. I just don't want to end the call on a weird note. Of course, babe. It's not even that late. You're fine. Thanks. Okay. Okay.

Up, up, and away. Oh, actually, let me tell you a funny story. So earlier today, I was in this exam hall, and I shit you not, this dude three seats down from me had a- What the fuck? There's something on the fucking bed. I didn't put this here. What is it? Looks like a- it's like a- a little bag? Is this candy? Strawberry bonbons. What? Oh, fuck. Shit. Shit.

There's a fucking note. How the hell did this get in here, Nora? What does the note say? Ellie, it's been so nice to have you here. Your presence has really brightened up the building. I'm so sorry we still haven't been able to meet face to face. I promise you, the day will come. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the candy. It's sweet, just like you. Lots of love, your new neighbor. What the fuck? Okay. One...

How the fuck did he get in here? Two, how the fuck does he know my name? That is so fucking inappropriate. I don't, I just... I feel sick. No, no. I'm getting the fuck out of this place. No fucking way. Ellie, wait. A fucking stranger got in here, Nora. He knows my name. Whoever he is. How do I even know he left? I'm gonna wait it out in my car. I'll call you back.

Jesus Christ, Ellie, don't do that to me. I almost had a heart attack. I'm sorry. I just couldn't spend another second in there. I'm in my car in the building's private parking lot. Are you safe? Safer than I would be in there. I know that much. God, I'm so fucking sorry I can't come down there any earlier. Do you think you want to come up and spend the next few days here? No. I know what you're like when I'm all fucked up.

If I go up there, you won't be able to study, and then we're both screwed. Fuck studying. I don't want to leave you in the crosshairs of some creep. Fuck studying? Nora, you've worked your ass off for years on this. No way am I letting this creep ruin that, too. I'll call the police in the morning to sweep the place. And get that shitbag landlord to change our locks. Even if I have to grab him by his stupid lapels. Are you sure? I'm positive. So you're just gonna sleep in your car tonight?

If I can sleep. There's just something that's bothering me. Other than the obvious. I passed the fucking landlord in the hallway on my way out. And he didn't say shit to me. Isn't that a good thing? Any other time, maybe. But, Nora, I got my ass handed to me for moving boxes in the middle of the day. But I can scream bloody murder at midnight and nothing? Not a word? What?

So you're back in the apartment. What's the latest? I'm pleased to report it's mainly been a day of wins. Oh, thank God. I had the police over this morning. I told them everything. Took all the notes I've had so far and the candies. They said they're going to dust them for fingerprints and talk to the other residents to see if anyone saw anything.

Good, good. Also, I took shitbag to task. I screamed, literally screamed at this motherfucker until he agreed to call a locksmith this morning. Now we've got a brand new lock, and only he and I have keys, so he can't try shit without me knowing about it. Hell yeah. I can't believe I almost forgot. Let me introduce you to my new friend. Holy shit, is that a baseball bat? Yup. I ever tell you I did minor league back in high school?

My batting arm is mint. So how are finals going? I'll save you some.

Yeah, uh, by the way, I've been meaning to ask, what was that funny thing you saw in the exam hall yesterday? Oh, right. God, that was fucking hilarious. Okay, so I was midway through a question on the effects of gamma-aminobutyric acid in the prefrontal cortex for my biopsych final when I hear this sound, right? Kind of like a soft tinkling noise, like sleigh bells and- Oh my fucking god, again? Shit, the stalker? No, no, no. It's our neighbors.

Listen to this. Yeah, I'll have what they're having. Jesus Christ. It started earlier today. Another wonderful thing I have to look forward to. Guess you were right about the scary footsteps in the hallway, at least. Just rowdy, ramby neighbors. Scooby-Doo never prepares you for this growing up. I swear to God. They're going at it like Olympians in there. I think I've heard all I need to.

Okay, just wanted to share. Hey, at least now we know some people in this building are capable of having a good time. And in like two days, that'll be us. Mmm, I don't know. Maybe I have a little more consideration for our neighbors. How- Jesus Christ! What is that? There's someone outside. Go away or I'm calling the cops! One second. Don't- What the fuck? Ellie! What's happening?

*Gasp*

Oh god. What? Nora, there was another note in the door. No, fuck! Oh Jesus. What does it say? I tried to be courteous. I tried to be generous. I tried to be kind. You took my kindness and discarded it like it meant nothing. I have to say, Ellie, I'm hurt. Deeply. I thought you were special, but you're just like all the others.

Just remember, I didn't want it to end like this. I'm so sorry for what you've made me do. I'm coming down there. My professor will understand. This is way past mitigating circumstances. You're not staying there by yourself. Fuck that. Grab the bat and don't leave the fucking room, okay? Nora. Okay? Please be quick. Hello? Who is this? Yeah, hi, this is Ellie in 212. Oh, it's you. Yeah, you're goddamn right it is.

Somebody has been harassing me in your fucking building and you need to do something about it. What the hell is going on? Look lady, this is a job for the police. If your faucet starts leaking or you can't get your heater to work, that's a me problem. I changed your fucking locks just this morning. He's here. For fuck's sakes, he's in the building right now.

Didn't you hear him trying to hammer my goddamn door down? I just got in. Then ask my neighbors. The ones in 213. I know for a fact that they're in because I've had to listen to them humping like animals all fucking day. What? You want me to come down there and draw you a diagram? No, wait, listen. That's impossible. Nobody's written 213. What? One sec. Don't you dare, Ham. I'm not done with you. Hello? Hello?

Am I speaking to a Miss Ellie Preston of 212 Rouge Heights? Yeah, that's me. Is everything okay? I'm just following up about a call the other day. We took some items from your home to test for fingerprints. Oh, uh, okay. So, do we know anything? Largely inconclusive results, I'm afraid. It didn't flag anything from our database. Honestly, they were among the stranger fingerprints I've seen in my career.

What do you mean? Well, for starters, they were just too long. The computer didn't even know what to do with them. Oh. Well, I'm glad you called anyway, because the harassment is getting worse. I got another note about an hour ago, and this one is actively threatening. Do you believe you're currently in danger? I don't even know. Well, stay put in your apartment, ma'am. We'll dispatch a squad car as soon as possible. Thank you. God, thank you.

What the fuck are you talking about? What? Hey!

Come on, Ellie. Come on, come on, come on. For fuck's sake, Ellie, pick the fuck up. Nora? Nora, are you there? Yes! Yes, oh God, thank fuck, I'm almost there. Only about two miles away. What's happening? I tried calling you four times. Nora, something's going wrong. Signals all weird. None of my messages are sending...

I swear to fuck, I can hear someone in the hallway again. Just stay put, okay? Hold on to that bat and do not leave the fucking room until I get there. Understand? Babe, you really don't need to tell me that. Just, please come quickly. Stay on the line. I can see the building. I'll park right out front and run in. I don't give a fuck if I get told right now. Please hurry. I'm almost there. Stay put. Shit, shit, shit. Oh, no. Oh, no.

I'm here. I'll take the stairs. No time to wait for the elevator. Fuck off! I'm almost there, baby. Jesus fucking Christ. It's raffling the new law. Just leave me alone. I'm here. I'm here. 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211.

Nora? 2:13? Where the fuck is 2:12? Ellie, where the fuck is the door? Nora, I'm here. Hey, honey! Simon. You? For? Listening? Neighbor. Mayfair Watchers Society is based on the works of Trevor Henderson. Peak was written by Addison Peacock and Henry Gally. Ellie was played by Kale Brown. Nora was played by Rice Tirado. The landlord was played by Jesse Hall.

Officer D'Amato was played by Stephen Idrisano. The dialogue editor was Daisy McNamara. The sound designer was Brad Colbrook. Music by Matt Royberger. The showrunner is Pacific S. Obadiah. The creative director is me, Trevor Henderson. And it's produced by Tom Owen and Brad Miska. A Bloody FM Show.