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Leonard's New Hobby

Publish Date: 2023/1/23
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Hello everyone. Before we get into this week's episode, I want to direct you all to the content warnings in our show notes. This episode in particular has themes of stalking and kidnapping, but you can find content warnings on all of our episodes. If you feel like we missed a tag, please reach out and let us know. Also, this officially marks the halfway mark of our first season. Thank you so much for tuning into the show, and remember to share. Without further ado, this week's episode. We are the Watchers.

Observers of the strange, paranormal, occult, unwelcome, unspiritual, horrifying, mystical, secret, transcendent, repulsive, captivating, unwelcome, appalling, gruesome, unseen, magic, weird, revolting, horrifying, unseen.

Welcome to the Mayfair Watchers Society.

Almost there. Almost there. Honey? Stay calm. What's happening? It's gonna be okay. Where are you taking me? To meet a friend of mine. What? Why do you have that camera?

Because I want to remember this. What is that? It's an elevator shaft. An elevator shaft. I don't understand. It's where my friend lives. Friend? Well, work colleague, maybe. This is one of the buildings I guard. It was going to be a new mall until the construction company ran out of money.

Now the bank owns this land and until they sell it off, this place would be more expensive to tear down than to keep up. Jesus Christ, Lenny! Yes, Susan? My back feels wet and I can't get up. It hurts. That's because I broke your spine. What? I used an electric bolt gun I bought on Amazon. Don't worry. It was all very precise.

I got free delivery too. But why? Can't have you running away, can I? Lenny, don't lie to me like that. I've lied to you enough these last few months. Here, I promise you complete and total honesty suits. Now, how about you give the camera a nice big... It's how I want to remember you.

Get me the fuck out of here now! It's a little too late for that now. I'm sorry, Zeus, but it's already started. This isn't you. I wouldn't cry if I were you. Crying just excites it. Here we go. Here we go! Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, what the fuck is this?

She sure had some pipes on her. But I don't think I'll do the spine thing again. It's not as good when they don't kick their legs around. I'm watching the playback on this new monitor I bought. A little pricey, sure, but for 4K Ultra HD, it's really worth the expense.

Best Buy was doing a special offer, too, so I couldn't resist. Oh, oh, listen to this part here. Oh, it's my favorite. Classic. So, as of today, it's officially been a week since I took Susan to the Hollinger building. All good news since then, thankfully. There have been missing person reports on TV, but a lot of people go missing in Mayfair.

And I'm only responsible for, what, eight of them? So, I'm not feeling the heat. What I am, however, feeling is this nagging sense that I'm not optimizing my workflow. We're talking an average of three months working these girls over for around ten to fifteen minutes of footage each time. Clearly.

I'm doing something wrong here, because that work-to-output ratio is all out of whack. Even for high-quality footage, you know. So, I've been mulling it over, and I think I have a solution. When you watch porn, you don't just fast-forward to the money shot, right? You need to build to that. There's an art to it. Narrative art.

The beginning and middle that makes the end feel so gratifying. My problem is that thus far I've only recorded the money shot. That's why this time, as a kind of experiment, it's my intention to film and document the entire process beginning to end.

That way, when I look back, I can enjoy and relive the whole journey for a more satisfying, holistic experience. Seems like a pretty neat idea, don't you think? There you are, beautiful. Look at her. Isn't she gorgeous? I've got a weakness for redheads. It's something that he and I have in common, thankfully.

She's in a local cafe right now. Josie's. Shit coffee, in my experience, but some pretty nice homemade cupcakes. Right now, though, it looks like she's eating one of their medium-sized chocolate chip cookies and looking at her phone. She's pretty in that kind of aloof way that drives guys like me wild.

She's got no idea, of course. This isn't the first time I've seen her. She and I both shop at Target. I see her there all the time. Who can argue with those deals? I'm a good-and-gather addict. Never made eye contact with her, of course. I've read that people can find that off-putting. But she's always been there, just waiting to be discovered.

And the best part? She's blissfully unaware. Just like all the others. That's right. Sip your mediocre coffee, Nine. You've got no idea what's rattling down the tracks towards you. But you'll find out soon enough. They all do. No evidence of the rest.

I keep rewatching the footage. It's like I'm obsessed. I just keep playing it and playing it and playing it. The way she moves. So unselfconscious. Like she's in a world of her own. A classic movie star without a camera. I'm printing off a few of my favorite stills from the videos. I even bought that glossy photo paper from Staples.

So they're gonna come out real nice. I'm on shift at the Hollinger building again tomorrow. I'll show these to my friend and see if he approves of this little venture. I can't see it being a problem, though. I've given him worse. And it all goes down the same. I can't wait to know your name.

I bet it just rolls off the tongue. When the time comes, oh, I'm gonna get to know you inside. Here we are, the big night. I don't know about you, but I'm on the edge of my seat. I say that like someone's watching this. Hell, maybe someday they are.

And if that's you, well, I hope you're enjoying the show. You probably knew what you were getting into here. I make no excuses or apologies. Some people like to watch UFC or cooking shows or those snooty Scandinavian crime dramas you always see on Netflix. I like to watch this. I'm sure we all have our

Since we're being honest with each other here, and I'm intent on recording a full and comprehensive document of my processes, let's do some introductions, since it's still early days here. My name is Leonard Eckhart. I'm 41 years old. I live alone.

I work nights as a security guard for Atlas Property Protection Services here in Mayfair, which gives me plenty of time during the day to pursue my passions. Really, that's all there is to know. I'm a pretty normal guy. Statistically average. That being said, I was dying of boredom before I got reassigned to the Hollinger Building.

My first night here, it seemed almost funny that they even hired a security guard for this place. No copper wiring to strip, no leftover furniture to steal or break, not even any graffiti. Didn't take me long to find out that it was because this place has the world's most efficient living security system. An actual, genuine monster.

hiding out in an empty elevator shaft. Naturally, we became fast friends. Hello? Come on out. I brought you something. I think you're gonna like it. I found a new toy for us. She's redhead. Just like the last one. See? Isn't she... beautiful?

I knew you'd like her! I knew you'd like her too. You need to be patient. The longer you wait, the better it'll taste. I'm not a caveman. I'm not just gonna bash her over the head and drag her back here. It's a process.

It's a process. I need to get her to trust me. To feel safe around me. That way, when I bring her up here and she realizes what's going on, just that little bit too late to do anything about it, it'll be special. Don't worry, okay? You'll get your meal.

You'll get your needs... There's work to be done. You do your part, and I'll do mine. I'll... We're asking anyone with information concerning the whereabouts of Susan Albright to step forward and assist in the investigation. So far, the search... I just got coffee from Gino's. Objectively, the best coffee place in Mayfair.

They're the only one around here that uses Arabica beans. And let me tell you, you can taste the difference. Delicious. I've decided to follow Nine's car today. Don't worry. I'm not being obvious about it. I'm currently two cars behind, but I'm keeping tabs. This is a game of delicacy.

A lot of people don't appreciate the nuances. She gets Wednesdays off. That's nice. Every other day, save for weekends, she works at the Wells Fargo in town. Same route every day. That's a no-no, Nine. An oversight like that could get you hurt, you know. Mmm, damn good coffee. Arabica, I tell you, it's the future!

People will only settle for dishwater until they've tasted the alternative. When it gets widely adopted, it's gonna change the game. Geno's is just ahead of the curve. They also serve great cake pops there. They're a little more expensive than the ones you can get at Starbucks, but worth the extra money. In my opinion, better quality ingredients make for a better overall experience.

Nine's a busy woman, one weekday off, and she fills it with errands. Cleaning, laundromat, car wash. I know where she lives now, nice little place in the suburbs. She must be a big wheel at the bank if she's making house money in this town. But she saves her grocery shopping for the weekends, just like me. You have to appreciate that kind of consistency in this day and age.

It's all about determining the proper angle of approach. I'm a security guard. I know a thing or two about exploitable vulnerabilities. But the most important thing to know is that if you try to take advantage of one of those vulnerabilities, and you fuck it up, that door won't stay open. Before I can do anything, I need to know her well and truly know her.

But don't worry. I have my methods. I'm in my favorite corner booth at the Night Owl Diner. Susan and I had dinner here a few times. I always order the steak and eggs. They're good here. But I'm not the only one who likes it here. Not ten minutes ago, Nine was here in a booth not forty feet away. Isn't that funny? Life is full of these little coincidences.

I'm only recording this because the most peculiar thing happened. Nine came in, she ordered a single slice of cheesecake, ate half of it, then went to the bathroom. But when she came back out, her eyes were red and puffy. Had she been crying? That's when she left some cash on the table to cover her check and just left. Waste of a decent cake, if you ask me.

Ugh, the coffee's terrible here. I should have gotten the orange juice. Or at least some more creamer to mask the taste. This is an undeniably interesting development. Public crying. There's something deeper at play here. But what? Nobody cries in a diner bathroom without a good reason. Maybe that reason is my way in. You watch a flower for long enough...

and it's bound to open up. Trevor Henderson here with an ad break. If you'd like to get early and ad-free access to Mayfair Watchers Society, consider supporting us on the Apollo Podcast app. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot...

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer. And now, back to our show. Saturday, and it's such a beautiful day too.

It'd be a crime to spend it indoors. I went grocery shopping this morning, just like Nine. So I made myself a packed lunch. Cheese and cucumber sandwiches. I grated the mature cheddar myself and cut the cucumber slices extra thin for the perfect texture. Days like this are what life is all about.

It must be why Nine always decides to go jogging in this park after grabbing groceries. I'd probably do the same if my knee wasn't still a little stiff from the fall I took guarding that construction site last year. I haven't been much of a runner since then. Still, maybe someday. I worry that my friend at the Hollinger building is getting impatient, but all good things to those who wait.

This one is gonna be something special. I can't even really articulate why. Just a feeling, I guess. But a strong feeling. What's your secret, Nine? What is it that makes you so special? Look out! Nice throw. Good catch. Can I please have my frisbee back?

Sure thing, kid. Go long. Thank you. If she always jogs on the weekends, after she goes grocery shopping, then I have a window. I should make a note of that. It's my night off, so of course I'm here, outside her house. It's currently 11.15. I've been watching her silhouette pass from room to room through the windows, but she'll sleep soon.

She's got work tomorrow. I have it on good authority that she isn't sleeping well. Because these last two weeks I've seen her pick up Ambien at the Target pharmacy. What's keeping you up at night? Tonight's a special night, isn't it? You finally get a name. It's cold out, but you like the fresh air so you leave the kitchen windows slightly ajar. Freshen the place up at night.

But plenty of things can come through an open window, Nine. For your sake, I'll wait until you're asleep. Lights are off. Showtime. Oh, man! Oh, shit! I feel electric right now. That was... insane. Hahaha!

I knew it. I fucking knew it. I knew she was special. I was getting this feeling, this vibe. I knew it was fucking palpable. And now... This is nuts. It's fucking nuts. I can't believe my luck.

Nice kitchen. Real granite counters. High-end spice rack. Premium appliances. She even had those fancy Aikido kitchen knives. The real pricey ones. A whole seven-piece set. Maybe I should look into getting those. Doesn't matter right now. So, a little State of the Union on nine. Well, she's not nine anymore, is she? Mm-hmm.

She's Gwen. Gwendolyn Albright. I wonder which name she likes to go by. Either way, she leaves her wallet on the countertop, so it was easy enough to check out her driver's license on the way out. She was pulling an awkward face in her little photo, and I don't blame her for that. They never let you smile in those things. She didn't notice me. Stayed fast asleep. Thank you, Ambien. I can't waste any time.

The second I saw that name, I knew. I just knew. I'll be able to confirm my suspicions when I get back. Wish me luck, folks! Bingo. You know, it seemed too good to be true. Then again, Mayfair's a small town. Oh, Gwen. Gwen Albright. Sister of Susan Albright. Who's been missing for going on a month and a half now.

Courtesy of my friend in the Hollinger building. I knew she had that look about her. And the name. So familiar. Of course you're crying, Gwen. You're grieving. You lost your poor, sweet sister. You keep reposting appeals to your Facebook wall, begging for information. Don't worry. I can help with that. Hehehehehehehehe.

Missing sister. That's an angle of vulnerability. I'll need to use a different name, of course. Just in case Susan mentioned Linny in passing. How come she never introduced me to you? Rude. You're a pretty girl. I like to know pretty girls. And so, we move on to the next phase. What a week!

Happy Saturday. Gwyn has just been shopping. I know this because I was shopping too. I even treated myself to a bag of low-fat kettle chips. You know, the nice ones. A little overpriced in my opinion, but I suppose that's an element of the prestige. I'm sitting in my car, not far from her house. Gwyn's a creature of habit.

She's got that in common with my friend and I. It stands to reason that any minute now, she's going to come out of her front door in her workout clothes for her weekly jog. And when she jogs, she wears these form-fitting purple yoga pants. And she doesn't carry a bag. So it stands to reason she leaves her wallet at home.

I'd bet the rest of this bag of overpriced chips that it's on the exact same counter she left it earlier in the week. People are predictable like that. There we go. Off for a nice little jog. That should buy me almost an hour. Plenty of time for a little B&E. People really ought to invest in better security systems. BEEP

No screams. Your sister's stiff competition, Gwen. Driver's license. American Express. No Wells Fargo. Treacherous, Gwen. We've got a couple of credit cards. Target loyalty card. An organ donor card. Shame. Those'll go to waste. Well, not to waste, strictly speaking, but, you know...

Needless to say, the plan is progressing smoothly. I nabbed her wallet and got out without incident. The kitchen looked even nicer in daylight. I really do need to look into that fancy Aikido knife set. Anyway, I've given it a couple hours just to let her simmer. I can't be the knight in shining armor until she feels significantly distressed.

Too long, though, and she'll cancel her cards, making it an empty gesture. It's a delicate balancing act, like playing Jenga. I feel like I could crawl up into the air like a hammock right now. That's always the way. Right before it happens, he has his hungers, and I have mine. Tonight. It all happens tonight. Mr. Sayre!

Hi. Can I help you? Gwendolyn Albright? Yes. It's just Gwen. Gwen. Right. Hi. I'm Peter. I figured you might be looking for this. Oh my goodness. Thank you. Thank you so much. I was just about to call and cancel my cards. You're a lifesaver. It's no trouble. Really. Where did you find this? Laying around in the Target parking lot.

I was just heading in to grab some more diapers and formula for my kid. I got your address from the driver's license. Of course. Of fucking course. Must have fallen out of my bag while I was putting my bags in the car. Hey, don't beat yourself up. It happens to the best of us. This month, it's just been the fucking worst. I don't know where my head's been at. Thank you again. No worries. Hope it turns around for you, Gwen.

Wait, Peter! Hmm? Do you want to come in for a coffee? Oh, thank you. I appreciate it, but it might be a little late for coffee. Tea, then? I'll feel terrible just sending you off. The wife will be expecting me home soon. Ten minutes, I promise. Well, if you insist. This is lovely tea. Thank you. Oh, it's just the good and gather. I knew I recognized the flavor.

You like coffee, too? Some would say a little too much. You should check out Gino's on King Street. Best coffee in town. Oh, yeah? Arabica beans. It'll change your life. It's ruined other coffee for me, honestly. I just want to thank you again for bringing back my wallet. It was just another thing I didn't need right now. I'm always happy to help. It's just, I really have had the month from hell, you know? And it's...

It's just nice to see people can still be kind. Do you want to talk about it? I don't want a burden. No burden. Seriously. I know how much it can help to just say it all out loud. It's this thing with my sister. Thing? We... Well, like, three or four months ago, we had this fight, right? Some fucking stupid thing about money. It didn't matter. Didn't matter at all. But we...

Said some things, and then we weren't on speaking terms. I kept saying to myself, I'll text her today and bury the hatchet and move on. But I kept just putting it off. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow. And then she was gone. No more tomorrows. Gone? I don't even know. That's the worst fucking part, you know? Like, I just wish I knew. Anything's better than not knowing. Do you really believe that, Gwen? What? Is...

Is that a camera? I'm sorry. I just had to get this moment on film. Oh, God. Are you another fucking reporter? No. Oh. I wouldn't advise screaming or running. I have a gun in my coat. Just nod if you understand. Good. Of course, I don't think I need to use that gun. Because you're right, Gwynn.

Anything is better than not knowing, right? And if you behave and come with me, you get to find out exactly what happened to her. That's what I'm offering you. Closure. Who the hell are you? Nobody. So, what'll it be? Come quietly, and I'll give you all the answers about Susan. You have my word on that.

It's cold out. Can I grab my coat? I left it in the kitchen. Hurry baaack. Why are you filming all this? Because I like to watch it later. Did you record Susan? My, my, you are a curious one. I can't complain, you know. You've been incredible. I didn't mean to hit you or drug you or tie you up. So well behaved. All this time I've watched you.

I knew we'd get along. This has been vindicating. Where are we going? To meet a friend of mine. Does this "friend" know what happened? Patience, Gwen. All good things to those who wait. This is one of the buildings I guard. It was gonna- This is the mall that got abandoned, isn't it? Yes, it is. Follow me. I'm excited for you to meet my friend.

I know for a fact he's excited to meet you. He's been waiting longer than usual, you know? Like I always tell him, the longer you wait, the better it feels in the end. What the fuck did you do to my sister? Jesus, Gwen. Do you have no respect for timing? Suspense? Fuck you. Well, here we are. What next? See that elevator shaft over there? Yeah.

We're gonna need to get closer. No way. Fine. Guess you'll never know then. The fact is, you'll be going there either way. Gwen, it's your choice whether you do it while conscious. Good girl. Hello? What? Don't worry. Just calling my friend. You're crazy. What the hell was that? Answers while we still have time.

I brought your sister right here, where you're standing. Except she wasn't standing. Can you see him? Susan did. Jesus fucking Christ! I rang the dinner bell, and down it came. Big and strong and hungry. And then it ate her alive. Tore her to shreds, nice and slow. Oh, and she screamed, Gwen.

screamed up to high heaven. The way it echoed down the elevator shaft. Oh, it was magical. Fucking magical. And I recorded it. Just like I'm gonna record it happening to you. So I could enjoy it again and again and again and again. I hope that answers your... That's for Susan, you piece of shit.

Those fucking keto knives. God damn it, Quinn. Oh, my fucking back. I can't move. Shit, shit. Hello? Somebody help. No, not you. No, no, no. Come on.

I've fed you, and I... We're friends! Please stop! No! Please! Please! Thank you for listening, neighbor. Mayfair Watchers Society is based on the works of Trevor Henderson. Leonard's New Hobby was written by Henry Gowey. Leonard was played by Atticus Jackson. Susan was played by Janine Bower. Glenalyn was played by Ashley Jones.

Kid was played by Maddie Moore. And the reporter was played by Vic Collins. Dialogue editor was Daisy McNamara. Sound designer was Travis McMaster. Music by Matt Royberger. Showrunner, Specific S. Obadiah. The creative director is me, Trevor Henderson. And it's produced by Tom Owen and Brad Miska. A Bloody FM Show.