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Welcome back to Unlocked. What a day. Whatever day you're listening to this on, I hope you're having a great morning, afternoon, night, whatever it is. But you guys have been asking for a solo episode, an update, kind of debrief you on everything, bring you up to speed. So that's what we're doing because, well, frankly, there is a lot of things to bring you up to speed on. But I
I do want to touch on the podcast with Kimberly Shannon Murphy was a huge, huge hit. I mean, everyone's loving it on social channels and asking a lot of questions, also sharing your stories. So for that, I'm super grateful because I want to have episodes that touch people's lives. I want to have episodes that cause you to think and really question and figure out what
how you feel, why you feel that way, and help you maybe work through some things that's going on in your life. And I feel like that's what that episode did. So if you have not heard it yet, go listen to the episode with Kimberly Shannon Murphy. It was amazing. It changed my life and I feel like it changed a lot of yours. So I'm really grateful for that. But for updates, oh gosh, when it comes to the appeal, we still have not heard anything from
Welcome to how our judicial system works. It is very, very slow. I hope and pray we hear something by August. The reason I throw that date out there is because that's when the clerks switch over. So I'm hoping the judges want the clerks to finish writing the opinion before they switch.
Who knows? So all I can do is hope and pray that we get the result that we want and it comes sooner rather than later. But if it doesn't,
happen the way we want it to happen. It's okay. There are multiple other plans in place to hopefully get mom and dad home. So for that, I'm super grateful. Last weekend, I actually went and spent time with dad for Father's Day. I was there Saturday and Sunday, and it was awesome. It was just me. So we got a lot of time to catch up. It was
It was really awesome. I love my one-on-one time, but also we get to have really intentional conversations. And I find myself just kind of reflecting on a lot of things in life and just things as a kid and
We just get to have conversations that I feel like we've needed to have for a really long time. And, you know, I liked, I used to say, I think it would get easier as time goes on, but I really think that's a lie. I think I was lying to myself to make myself feel better because it does get harder. It gets harder each time you leave and you know, you're leaving them behind. But then also, you know, when I went and saw mom, I went and saw mom, um,
on Juneteenth because it's a federal holiday. So I was able to go and see her. And that was really tough because I was sitting in that visitation room and there was one family and you could tell that the young teenage kids were just struggling a lot. And they ended up, you know, screaming at their mom and leaving in tears. The mom was in tears. They were in tears. The whole thing was just
so heartbreaking. And then you had another family who they were like so happy and hugging and laughing because it was their last visit. It was their last visit before she went home. And that was really tough to see. Both situations were tough to see because number one, the effects that the system has on a family as a whole is just can be detrimental at times. What it does to kids' mental health and
how they process it and deal with it. I mean, it truly does just break a lot of families and a lot of families don't have the resources to maybe get the help that they so desperately need or that they're searching for, or they may not have the guidance. And then the family that was leaving, we were so happy for them. I mean, so happy. This daughter was like ecstatic. She had her little girl who was a year old, I think.
And she's brought her like every weekend to visit her mom. And this was her time to go home. But it also sucks because you look at it and you're like, well, my time's not coming soon. Like it's not. So you see people leaving while you're still there. And that's really tough.
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It was also tough too, because, you know, in the visitation room, thank goodness there's air conditioning, but outside the visitation room, there is zero air conditioning. And the heat index was 105, 110. And that's what mom's living in is in conditions like that with absolutely no air. And it can be a hundred degrees inside the building. And she literally said that she got
physically sick because she got so hot. So you have these women who are suffering from heat exhaustion and they're passing out, but yet, you know, they're service dogs that have air conditioning. It's none of it makes sense to me. It is so beyond inhumane that you cannot even make it up. And it's tough. You know, mom was super excited for visitation because she got to be in an air conditioned room.
it makes me realize how much we take for granted, like how we just walk in a place and it's air conditioned. And like, that's the normal. Unfortunately, for these men and women, it's just not. And that's really tough to hear those struggles. And yeah, the whole prison system as a whole is so broken, not only at dad's place, but at mom's as well. And
I actually had had a letter sent to me by a guy that was or is at dad's facility. And I just wanted to read it to you so you could get an idea of kind of
How they operate. As a veteran of the United States Marines, I am astonished with the actions as well as reactions of the federal prison camp in Pensacola. On my first day arriving here at FPC Pensacola, I informed the case manager as well as the chief psychologist, Dr. Ramsey, of a serious trauma that happened to me while serving in the United States Marine Corps.
that resulted in severe traumatic stress disorder coming from constant and consistent treatment
well documented with the Veterans Administration to no treatment at all with what is an open door policy, which I deem to be completely ineffective because the psychology office is closed, locked, lights off, and empty. Dr. Ramsey is too busy chasing inmates around the prison, berating, yelling, and degrading them for not having their shirts tucked in their pants and beds not made up military style.
My trauma clearly involved the flight wing, and they sent me to work at Unicor. Ironically, 100 yards from where military jets take off and land all day long. So close that it shakes the windows of the Unicor warehouse where I work.
After speaking with the staff about this several times and being told to suck it up or at best we will take care of you but they kept me at the unicorn job for three additional months. It grew on me daily the added stress of having this huge extra anxiety all day with me until one day a fellow inmate found me huddled up under a large desk taking cover.
The next day I found myself back under the large desk again. I knew it was time for me to do something and get off Eglin Air Force Base. So the next day I was able to get off work. I stake out Dr. Ramsey's office for the open door policy. I was able to meet with Dr. Ramsey and I mentioned to her the lack of giving an F about any veterans and their individual mental health issues.
I told Dr. Ramsey that I was a United States Marine before being a felon and that I would be contacting a lawyer to handle the next step. The very next day, I was removed from the Unicor work detail. After being removed from the detail, I was punished for three days to hard labor with other inmates who were actually being punished for violations.
In no way did I violate any rules, but they took a few days of pay away from me. What really gets me is the way they put us on a bus without AC, locked in, and trapped without any windows to open for extended periods of time.
Drive to Eglin Air Force Base, one hour and 30 minutes. We get on the bus at 5:20 a.m. and we depart FPC Pensacola between 6:00 and 6:15. We arrive between 7:45 and 8:00 a.m., hot and sweating,
already drained of energy. We work in an asbestos and dust filled hot warehouse, then back on the bus at between 1:45 to 2:00 PM, sit there in the parking lot in an extremely hot bus in the sun.
We drive back to FPC Pensacola. With all the traffic, we get back between 4.15 and 4.30 p.m., where we are forced to stay in this dangerously hot bus sometimes for an additional hour. I have experienced heat exhaustion several times and severe headaches.
During the entire summer of record heat temperatures and no outside work, Black Flag Days, we had to work and sit in a hot bus. For people that don't know, Black Flag Days are where the Navy actually shuts down and tells everyone to go inside because it's dangerously hot. Too dangerous for them to be outside working. But yet these men who are in custody are forced to go out there and work.
No matter how hot it is. The last piece I want to mention is the food that is prepared the day before, then removed from the refrigerator at 3.30 a.m. and put on a cart, loaded into a cooler slash ice chest at 5.10 a.m. and put in a hot bus. The food is removed from the hot bus and placed in a hot warehouse until it is served at 11 a.m. This and back...
in a hot warehouse until it is served at 11 a.m. This is done with no ice or refrigeration. This is a complete health violation and a bacteria growth nightmare. I got sick so many times that I stopped eating the food. This is not right and not the punishment the judge sentenced me to serve.
I'm lucky to be leaving as my time here at FPC Pensacola is done. However, these men need help to protect their life and health so that they can leave this place one day. That right there. I'm lucky to be leaving as my time here at FPC Pensacola is done. However, these men need help to protect their life and health so that they too can leave this place one day.
This man has now served his time. He's a former veteran. He fought for our country. He endured so much. He had PTSD from a very traumatic event that happened to him by the hands of a higher up. And yet this is how he's treated. This is how these men are treated. This is how, this is what your taxpayer dollars are going to pay for.
It's going to pay for abuse instead of rehabilitation. It's going to pay for abuse instead of offering love to these individuals. I mean, that letter right there, when I read it, it truly shook me to my core because first off, yeah, my dad is there. My dad is having to endure some of these same things. But also...
I am a huge advocate for our military, for the men and women who sacrifice their lives so that we can do what we do, so that I can come record a podcast and that I can freely just walk out on the streets. We don't, I can't freely walk out on the streets because of me. I can do it because the men and women that fight for us and this is how we treat them.
And that's heartbreaking to me. It's also heartbreaking that this man endured such trauma at FPC Pensacola that he's begging me to help the men that are still there so that they don't die there. And when I got that, I just knew I had to read that to you guys because that right there just that says all that we needed to say.
So that there's so many other ones that I have that have been sent to me that I've now turned over to the proper people and I'm doing what I can to protect these men and women. It's it's hard to find people to listen. But I think now.
I have the right person within OIA, OIG to actually listen and take these allegations seriously. So that's what I'm working on right now is trying to make a difference for the men and women that are in custody and to hopefully save lives because these men and women are suicidal. They're also being treated in a way that could kill them. So...
That's where we're at with that when it comes to just the system as a whole and updates and mom and dad. Yeah, it sucks. They're struggling. Dad's most certainly being retaliated against. So is mom. But they're pushing through because if it means that we can create lasting change for our
everyone, then guess what? That's what we're going to do. And there's also, when I say that to so many people love to say, well, you didn't care about this until your parents were in prison. You, you know, you only care about your parents. That is not true at all. Not at all. I actually want to have one of my lawyers on my podcast at some point.
If he'll do it, but pretty sure he will. And for him to truly share his story. But his name's Brett Tolman. He's a former U.S. attorney and also the executive director of Right on Crime. But his background, this was an article that was released about him and kind of just that he wrote detailing his story a little bit. But here we go.
So Brett Tolman, former U.S. attorney and executive director of Right on Crime. Imagine a company that has a nearly 80% failure rate. Would anybody on the left or right call that a success? Because that is the most recent data on
on rearrest rates across this country. The data isn't partisan, and what splits us along party lines is our approach to reform. The criminal justice system has been a part of my life since I was a boy. My dad was a peace officer. Respect for the law was ingrained in us early. When I was 12, my sister, who was in college, was walking home from a dance when three guys in a black Trans Am pulled over and started chasing her.
They kidnapped her and they raped her. Then they drove around discussing what they were going to do with her body. At a stop sign, she managed to kick the seat forward enough to jump out and run for her life. She called my father and the police. And so at 12 years old, I ended up in the backseat of my dad's car as we drove around that night looking for the Trans Am. They were never caught.
I think him being able to prosecute Elizabeth Smart's abductor was maybe, in a roundabout way, getting as much justice for his sister as possible. But it wasn't until this moment happened that he truly saw, like, okay, I want to make a difference. I want to become a lawyer, a prosecutor. I want to be involved in the criminal justice system. It took something so deep
traumatic in his life to make him want to do that. So I think I say that in hopes that you guys maybe give a little grace, give a little grace to me, to other people who maybe get involved in things later on in their life, because something happened that triggered that
feeling in them that they have to do more because now that they now they know better so when you know better you do better and I hope you guys continue to follow along on this journey because there are so many things that I look forward to doing and accomplishing now and when my parents get out of prison
So I think that's a good little update on all the things revolving around criminal justice, mom and dad, and their situations right now.
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Most certainly my weakness. Also, did anyone else see, did y'all see where Dr. Pepper became like the number one soda company? Like beat out, I think Coke.
- Why do you want a sponsorship? You don't have to be desperate about it. - No, I was just like, I was dumbfounded. Leading on to the next thing, you know, I had to take my little Dr. Pepper break. I'm currently giving them free advertising in hopes that they sponsor the rest of my life. Because not only am I obsessed with Dr. Pepper now, but I have gotten multiple kids obsessed with Dr. Pepper now. Sounds, you know, I mean, probably not the healthiest thing in the entire world, but like, hey,
It's 2024. There's worse things people are putting in their bodies than Dr. Pepper. I'll just say that. Back to what I was saying. When it comes to family updates, Nanny Pam is actually, y'all, going to come on the podcast. I think we're going to try to do it sometime next week. You guys have been asking for an update from mom's parents. So Nanny Pam's going to come on and...
I think it'll be pretty awesome because you guys will get to hear a little bit of her backstory, mom growing up, just things that have happened in their life. And then
how she's dealing now with mom being gone. So I'm super excited for that episode. I'm also super grateful for the help of my grandparents, Nanny Faye, Nanny Pam, all of them, because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be able to do some of the things I'm getting to do. So I am so, so, so grateful for that. And I can't wait for you guys to hear Nanny Pam's perspective on a lot of things. But when it comes to Father's Day,
I know many of you have seen this whole photo that Kyle posted on his Instagram story stating, happy Father's Day, Todd Chrisley, even though you won't speak to me. Come on now. I have sat on this. I have taken it in because, of course, then I have one or two people coming at me saying,
stating, you know, he's your brother. You guys need to just let it go. You know, he hasn't done anything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I have sat on it and I have given myself time to process it. I have also spoken to my dad and I do not do well. First off, I will protect and defend my parents till the end of time.
I love them more than life itself. And for everyone that knows my family and they've been following us for a while, they know that my dad and I have probably the strongest relationship out of any of my siblings. And he and I, I mean, before he went to prison, we did everything together and we talked about things that we couldn't talk to anyone else about.
And so I get protective. And when I see things that are just false, it really pisses me off. I have no other way to say it. And when I saw that, I was like, all right. And then, of course, you know, there's articles that start to get written. And then people, Kyle and his wife, whoever, start giving statements. People will do anything for a little bit of fame and attention. And what I don't do well at all.
with is or what I don't process well is having Kyle play the victim to life circumstances that he has created. I don't do well with someone who has abused people his entire life.
now trying to play victim, trying to get people to feel bad for him. And that's something that I do not do well with. So yes, my father has not spoken to him. And that is because now we are all at a place to where we don't have to be abused any further. We are allowed to create boundaries for ourselves. As adults, you're allowed, and even as children,
You are allowed to create boundaries for yourself. And a lot of children don't understand boundaries. They don't understand how they work. But as a child, you're allowed to have boundaries too. And unfortunately, up until maybe the past few years, I don't think children have been taught that. I don't think they've been taught that they're allowed to have boundaries because that's just not how it used to be. It's always been, oh, I'm the parent. I get to tell you what to do. I get to be this, this, and this. And you're not supposed to have any feelings.
But that is not true. So children are allowed to have boundaries as well. But especially as adults, we are allowed to create boundaries and stick to those. And one thing that I have learned is that the people that get pissed off about having boundaries are the same people that benefited from you not having any. So of course, Kyle's going to get angry at the fact that my dad has created a boundary.
he's angry because now he can no longer benefit from it and the whole victim mentality i don't do well with and i think i'm going to leave that right there and not elaborate any further but just know that my dad has every reason to not speak to kyle every single reason and just because
it's your child, doesn't mean you have to accept abuse. It doesn't mean that you have to accept manipulation and hate and all these things. You don't have to just because it's your parent, just because it's your child, your sibling, it does not matter.
You're still allowed to walk away when you feel that it is no longer in the best interest of your mental health. Hotels.com knows that planning your book club's annual trip can get chaotic. Self-improvement Steve needs a hotel gym and horror Harriet ghosted the group chat about budget. Collaborate, vote on your favorites, and book all in the app. Find your perfect somewhere with Hotels.com.
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Like, wow.
That right there. If a truth burns down a relationship, a family, a community, or a society, it was only ever held together by lies. And to that I say, let it burn. I never want to live in a world where our need for comfort supersedes our need to stand on a foundation only the truth can provide.
And that quote is by a guy that I follow by the name of Mark Groves. Mark, his Instagram is create the love. And there are so many things that he posts that truly do resonate with me. So the caption to his quote is actually even better than the quote itself. I like to think I just saw the caption. So I'm going to read it and try to comprehend it as I'm reading it to you guys. But
Relationships so often dance around the elephant in the room. Disconnection, lies, betrayal, distance, hurt, pain, discomfort, all of it gets swept under the rug and traded in for the illusion of connection and safety.
Families, societies, businesses, cultures, religions, and a lot of them often function with the collective agreement that we won't talk about that thing or those things. But whether you talk about the truth, the truth always lives and lingers in the ether and hiding from it causes it.
and hiding from it comes out in shadow-based coping mechanisms and attempting to escape from the reality that integrity had to leave the table for us to sit at it.
But the reality is that when we have to participate in a lie to hold any human system afloat, we have to trade in a part of ourselves. Now granted, I will add the caveat that sometimes we don't bring the truth forward for our own survival and or the survival of our children.
And I'm not here to be the judge of what is right to hold and what is not. What I do know is the only person whose opinion matters is our opinion about ourselves and what is right for us in those circumstances.
The truth always sets us free. And in a relationship, if it liberates one person, it liberates the other. They just don't know it yet. When we were conditioned to participate in human systems that normalize hiding from the truth, being invited towards it and accepting that invitation can often be too confronting. But the choice isn't really a choice. It's hide from the truth or suffer from lies.
Holy cow. That is absolutely insane. Like that quote and the caption that follows it. I know that right now, Mark on Create the Love, he says, in my new community, we're going to kick off with a 30-day challenge. And this challenge will be about getting aligned the truths we've not fully confronted about creating a life that feels amazing to wake up to.
So guys, go follow him. Create the love. I've actually, I've gone back with him a few times on social media, but I've never met him. And I hope and pray I get to meet this guy and have him on the podcast because his words are so profound. And that quote and caption, honestly, I feel like there's no better way to end this podcast than and to realize that
Just once again, it's a reminder that you're allowed to create boundaries. You don't have to live in a lie. You can break the generational curses of living a lie and having relationship with family that was built off of a lie. You don't have to do it anymore. You're not that little kid that was forced to do it. Or you're not that little kid that felt like this is just what families do.
You no longer have to live a lie and you no longer have to participate in it. You can live your truth, whatever that looks like for you. Just live it. And I hope that you can give yourself some grace for maybe where you're at in life. I know that for me, I have...
I'm able to see people for who they are. And I will always stand up for the people that I love and that have always stood up for me. And I will have an unconditional love for the people that I love. I will no longer allow people to manipulate and abuse and think that they just get away with it. So that's where I'm at with that. But I hope you guys have a great week.
And just know that you're loved. And I will see you next time. Hopefully with my grandmother.
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