Better Now (feat. Jimmie Allen) 01:08:40

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Enough to head over to McDonald's. Enough to make you really wish this commercial were scratch and sniff. And if you're a sausage person, now get two satisfyingly savory sausage McGriddles, sausage biscuits, or sausage burritos for just $3.33. Or mix and match. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Single item at regular price. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Welcome back to Unlocked. We've got Jimmy Allen. Welcome. Well, good thanks for being here. Okay, so...

Do you remember when you and I went to Bonefish Grill? Bonefish Grill, yes. And Brentwood. Dear God, how long ago was that? That was before I got a record deal. That might have been like 2012, 2011. No, it wasn't that. No, because I didn't move. When did I move to Nashville? 25th? I think I was like 14 in 2011. What year was it? Shut up. I'm trying to think. I think it was 20... I was in a... 16. 2015. Because I had a...

Was I working at Bonefish Grill then? Or was I about to start working there? Or did I used to work there? Because I worked at that same restaurant at some point. So I don't know if I was working there when we went, about to work there, or just quit. Yeah, I'm terrible with time frames. If it was 2016, I might have just quit because I was like, yeah, I got a pub deal. Okay. Yeah. Did I pay? Probably not. I don't think so.

Did I pay? No, I don't think so. You probably paid. Cause you were balling. Yeah. And it's not like it was a date date. It was just like hanging. Yeah. You probably totally paid. Yeah. You totally paid. And I'm okay with that. Equality. Like. Oh yeah. Equality when it works for y'all. Cause I, listen, if I didn't have it, if you paid, yeah. Cause it was like a, it was like a friend hanging. I forgot how we met. Was it at the gym? Maybe. Was it through Cortland?

- Oh, maybe Cortland. - I'm trying to remember. I was trying to remember that the other day. - Yeah, I really don't remember. - I can't think. - No, but it has been so fun watching you from me paying at Bonefish Grill to like you actually making it. - Yeah, it's been fun. That's when you had that black car with the tinted windows. What car was that? - Oh yeah, that AMG. - It was a matte black, right? - Yeah, AMG S63. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that was a fun car. Yeah, that was after I totaled the one before that.

Yeah. Sheesh. You told it. Was it your fault in an accident or somebody else's? Depends on who you ask. I think it was the road conditions fault. It was the roads fault. It wasn't my fault. It's never my fault. Yeah. Accidents are no joke. I can, I've never been in like a car accident, but I fell off a motorcycle twice. That's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore. Yeah, no, I hate motorcycles. I hate them. I don't ride those anymore. I hate them. Don't, don't ride one please. No. Okay. So jumping into it.

obviously, well, you grew up, you grew up in a very like church setting, what your... - Yeah, so my mom was... - Shut the fuck up over there. I'm kidding.

So my mom, growing up, my mom was huge in the church. She had us there, you know, every, every, every, every Saturday. So my mom was grew up seven day Adventist. And when my dad, my dad grew up AME, whenever he went, you know, he, I think he went to church one day a year. If that, he told me one time, he said, I ain't been to church so long. I forgot what day of the week it falls on. So all my dad wanted to do was fish.

hunt, drive his truck. And all he listened to was country music. Like that was it. That's awesome. And my mother, all she listened to was like Christian music. So she'd go from Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir to Bill Gaither Vocal Band to the Oak Ridge Boys to Fred Heyman. So it was like

Kind of like all over the place. And this town we grew up in, Milton, Delaware, was small. Like, I didn't realize Milton, Delaware was a small town until I got older and started traveling. I thought every town smelled like Kalmanor. I really did. Like, because King Cole Farm was right at the end of Cave Neck Road. So once you made that right on Cave Neck Road, you smelled like we're about home.

- For how long? - Yeah, I thought the world was like that until I started traveling and realized it wasn't. - And so that was the kind of setting that you grew up in, real like church type setting. And then when, what did you want to be when you were little? Like when you were growing up, what in your mind, you were like, all right, this is what I want to be. - Well, when I had two things I've always wanted to do. I wanted to be an entertainer, which included musician,

TV host, radio show, everything in the entertainment business I wanted to do. But yet I wanted to play basketball because there was a point in time. You really don't have the height for it though. Here's the thing.

There's a point in time where I was told I was going to be like 6'6", like 6'5", 6'6". Oh, you are lying to me right now. I'm dead serious because like my grandma was grand. I'm the shortest one. My one cousin Mike is 6'5". The other cousin is 6'6". I got a cousin that's 6'9". You got the short end of the stick. Yes, I literally did. Yeah. So I'm thinking like through middle school and I was telling everybody else, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm about to keep growing. Stop growing. So I had to come to realization that the hoop dream,

And I didn't really love basketball enough to want to put the extra work in it takes to be great. Yeah. But I always wanted to do that for music. So I got into like musical theater, um, band, but I still did ROTC at the same time. Cause my dad was like, yo, this will really help you with like discipline and stuff like that. Um,

was in a rock band, was in a Christian group, was in an R&B group, was in a country band, was in another rock band. So just, I was all over the place with music because I loved so many different genres of music. And just slowly found a way to like take what I love from each genre and kind of like create my own sound. And what was your big break? When did you finally like get the opportunity to go full force? It was 2018.

I played at Puckett's Grocery Store in Franklin and Ash Bowers was there. He was a guy that signed me to a pub deal and then became my manager. And he saw me playing at Puckett's because we ended up playing around together. So that's kind of what really, you know, what really started the whole, I could quit my job. Yeah. Because I mean, I worked everywhere. In Delaware, I had every job you could think of. Worked at Bonefish here. I worked at Bonefish Grill here. You know.

Shout out to Bonefish. Their bang bang shrimp is great. It is, man. And their sashimi, amazing. I worked at... What's it I work here? I worked at Walmart here. Overnight stop. You worked at Wally World? Yeah, I did. I did work at Wally World. I worked at Prairie Life Fitness. Dude, Walmart is the only place I've ever seen someone walk a cat on a leash with no shoes on. People walk cats? Dude, I...

you see things in Walmart that you just can't make up. - My mom loves Walmart. Like her free time, when she gets free, I was like, "Mom, we about to go out. "I'm just gonna go to Walmart and walk around." Why? - Hey, no, I'm not hating on Walmart, 'cause if you need anything, you can find it at Walmart. - Absolutely. - If you need anything. - Walmart has great value. - Those great value gummies, not gonna lie, are so good. I like those better than any name brand gummies. - I haven't had them.

Oh, I'll send them to you. They got any great value Reese cups? I love Reese cups. Dude, I don't know. But yeah, so shout out to Walmart. So you worked at Walmart and then when music came about, I mean...

let's just cut to the chase it had to have been hard as a black absolutely getting into country music absolutely because the only person that did that before you what you had charlie pride first and then darius came over in 2008 with his first single and then you know you had before bailey back in the day but you figured social media wasn't a thing when darius and charlie did it yeah so you could literally have charlie doing his thing in montana or whatever and someone two states over wouldn't know who he was because

He wasn't on TV. He just had radio and you can't tell what somebody looks like through radio. So, but you had DeFord Bailey. He was actually the first black opera member. So you had him doing his thing. You had Reese Palmer. Darius came over in 2008. Cause I remember I moved here in 2007. And then I went and saw Darius when he played the Grammy block party, downtown Nashville. Okay. And I wanted to meet him. So I remember I literally snuck backstage and,

Because I was the only black guy at the event and I always said, just look like you're supposed to be where you're being about. So I had my black cowboy boots on, black jeans, a black t-shirt and a leather jacket. And I just walked backstage because people assumed. Like you looked the part. Yeah, they assumed I was with Darius. So I walked backstage, I knocked on his tour bus. They just assumed one black guy was with the other? Yep.

Absolutely. That happened multiple times. That's how I snuck into the Grand Ole Opry because Darius was playing. Stop it. So I knocked on Darius' tour bus and some guy came to the door. I said, Darius here? He said, yeah. So Darius peeped his head around and said, hey man, come on up. So we just started talking and just been cool ever since. Stop. That's amazing. That was before I got a record deal. But he didn't know who you were? No. No.

He just looked like he just saw another black guy in need. Hey, come on up here, man. I know it's rough out there. Come on. Come on up here. Tell him you got that by yourself, buddy. So we just stayed friends. And I was able to kind of see how he transitioned from being in the band, hooting the blowfish to country. And then I started really doing my research on, I knew who Charlie Pratt was because of my father and watching how Charlie did it as well, because you figure, man,

Man, when Charlie first came out, his first album, they didn't have his picture on there. They just used his name. It was Smart Marketing. I forgot what show it was, but there was people that came to see him play. And he walked out on stage, had no idea he was black. And then, so he was able to win people over. Because I tell people all the time, people hear with their eyes, right? So if you hear someone...

you're gonna assume that they fit whatever physical characteristics you want them to fit. - Yeah. - But when you see someone before you hear them, you're gonna tell yourself what type of music they do, where they're from, who they are. And I even tested that theory. - Judging a book by its cover. - Absolutely. And I tested that theory one time. So I purposely went in and recorded a song, right?

that was a ripoff of Florida Georgia Line. And then I had a white friend of mine record the same song and we played it for people. And when he played it, it was like, man, that sounds just like

Florida George Law when I played it for people they said man it sounds a little bit like Darius Rucker and it sounds nothing like Darius Rucker really yes people have this it's a it's a weird thing so what I started doing was understanding that life in this music business isn't about how you perceive yourself it's about how people perceive you and once you're honest with how people view you and the boxes that they automatically put you in then you're able to figure out okay how you need to move where you need to go in order to be successful but

With that, would you not say that, okay, yes, that's smart. That's smart when it comes to business. But when it comes to your own self and mental health, that has to be a disservice to you. It is frustrating. But the one thing you learn to do, that's what I love about my dad being in the military. Like he really taught me self-belief and mentally being okay with who you are. So where...

When you go in these situations and you realize that certain people view you a certain way, you're able to tap into certain things about yourself that you love.

That they might love, right? To where you look for commonalities, right? Instead of, because there's a lot of people that might not like if you're into this or might not like that you're from here, right? But once you start to understand how people view you, then you take the time back to study who it is that you're going to do this business with, who you're trying to reach here, who you're trying to reach there. Then you find parts of yourself that connects with them. So instead of sitting back waiting for people to connect with me,

I would typically find ways to connect with them. - Yeah. - Right? - But in situations like that, you're having to pick out different things that speak to different groups of people. You know, like you're having to be a different person with each person. - I feel like it's the same, I'm the same. You can be the same person, but what you do is like, for instance, are you into football?

I mean, it's just really attractive men wearing tight pants, tackling each other. So what's your sport you're into? If you had to choose. If I had to choose, I mean, probably basketball. Are you into bowling at all?

So if we talk, I would just leave bowling out. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Because our commonality is basketball. We both love basketball. We both understand it. Me bringing in bowling to this situation, this conversation does nothing for either of us. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So that's kind of what that is. It's like, cause I have so many different interests.

from theater to bowling to... Yeah, you got really serious about bowling for a while. I was like, is he okay? Oh, I'm into it now. I'm a professional bowler now, I can say that. Dude, that is wild. Wild. Shout out to Cortland, got me into it. Really? Yeah. I just saw him the other day at the gym. Yeah, I was at his house the other day playing Roro in NBA and Madden. Roro be cheating. Dude, at what age do y'all stop playing damn video games? Never. Never.

You know why? Because here's the thing. How we grew up with video games, right? We could ask women the same thing. At what age did y'all stop putting on makeup? You know what I mean? Fair point. So it's like things that, it's whatever you do as a kid. Because like we grew up, my era grew up playing video games, right? Foul on the play, bro. Yeah, one job, bro. One, one. Let's see. So we, so growing up,

We grew up playing video games, right? So it's like a hobby we love. How people have hobbies that they love. Video games is for a lot of men. So what you do is now, I feel like it becomes a problem when you're playing video games more than you're doing your responsibility as a man. But like anyone, like say a female has a hobby that she does more than her responsibilities of being a woman, of being an adult. So it's the same thing. We love video games. And so now back to...

your career and being, like you said, kind of having to navigate the people you're around, how to act, how to

I know to put it into perspective of like you know in my own situation for instance I remember being so frustrated at how like our show it was on three different networks it was the only show to ever be on USA, E and Bravo and it got to be a bidding war and finally NBC stepped in and was like it's going on all three so it'll air on USA rerun on E and Bravo

And so I remember like being on three major channels and being on social media and like I'm comparing myself to like Kylie Jenner and Kardashians and all these things. And I'm like, well shit, like if I just showed my body,

more like I would get a heck of a lot more followers like if but then I knew I'm like, all right, that's not me. Like, that's not me. It's not I'm not going to conform to kind of what the world is wanting right now. And that's what I mean about finding things that you already love about yourself. That is you. Yeah. And give it to those people because that whole mindset I had isn't about changing who I am at all. It's not about

becoming someone else. It's about understanding that this is who I am, right? If I look at everything I am and I look at the different outlets that I need to go to, what about me that's already real can I share with each group that might connect with different people? And I understand that. I can't imagine being in your situation with the TV stuff you had to deal with like right off the bat. Oh yeah. Because I feel like as a musician I had an advantage to where

I get to put music out first. You get to kind of play a part. Yeah. You get to like be just a musician. Like it's just about your music. It's kind of like people say, like, which I don't necessarily agree with, but they're like, oh, keep your politics to yourself. Like you're a musician. You don't like, no, it doesn't work that way. People only say that when they don't agree with what you say. Exactly. But I think, you know, being on TV was really tough, but I also, um,

This past, what, two years of my life almost, like, full-on canceled. Like, didn't matter. Like, your parents are...

felons you've done this that whatever and i'm like okay guys you know what at this point but you know why you're not canceled i don't believe that because your supporters are still supporting you yes there are there are but you also when it comes to like the money makers and the deals and all of that all of the for a year all of that was canceled like took tons of money from what i was used to and unfortunately you i mean have felt you know

- Same thing. - Yeah, you felt the same thing the past, what, year or two years of your life? - Yeah, year and a half. - You were on a high because when was like your first big, what was your first big song? - "Best Shot." - Yeah. - It came out in 20, went number one into 2018. - Okay. And Antu, I think you were coming up too on a time to where

I think Nashville country music was trying to reach that equality side of things that, you know, I feel like, did you feel really accepted at the beginning or no? Did you feel like you still had to? - No, never did. I still don't. Because what happens is I'm really good at internalizing things, right? To where, again, it comes back to my father. My dad was like, no matter where you are,

what you have to deal with. If there's something you want to do with your life, you just got to suck it up and deal with it. So I understood that there's a lot of people in this business that might not want me here because of my skin color. I've heard it. I've read it in emails and some people had the balls to say it to my face. Right? So, but just because there might be adversity,

Doesn't mean the goal you're chasing isn't worth it. So at some point, it literally clicked in my brain to where I can shut off all the negativity, right? And focus on the positive. That's why I started performing with sunglasses on because it was symbolism for me

shutting out the noise right so i got that idea from my for my grandmother and then the the y brim tan hat i wear yeah my dad used to wear the same thing and then the bandana i wear is because my grandma my grandma betty every time she went fishing and every day she wore it so it's like the more i started tapping into them the more i shut out all the negativity that people were saying because i heard it all the time i remember one time i uh

uh people didn't think i was in the room next to where they were talking about me right and you hear yeah that anyone needs to just learn how to follow instructions he needs to learn how to do this because what happens is people are afraid of what they can't control they're afraid of what they don't know right and a lot of people are used to yes men not artists to where i'm the type of person if you say hey you should do this why how does this help me reach my goal

What's the pros? What's the cons? I'm not just going to say yes to everything just because someone thinks it's a good idea. Because I'm like, if everything, every person from industry, label, whatever, thought it was a good idea, you wouldn't have 30 artists on a roster and only three successful. Exactly. So it comes down to...

The label working with the artist, but the artist knowing who the artist is first. So that way, when things are brought to them, they can channel and cipher out and filter through what works for them, what doesn't. Okay, what's the importance? I might not want to do this, but if it's really good for my career and I don't have to sacrifice my integrity, I'll do it. So that's kind of how I got through that.

And so when you had like your first hit, you were kind of on this high. What tours were you on? What did that high look like? Because we need to describe that high high to understand the low low. So my first tour, Toby Keefe took me out. Love Toby, man. Rest in peace, Toby. And then...

When I was Scotty McCurry. I met Scotty. We actually met on American Idol in 2010. Okay. Yeah. See, I thought you were on. Yeah. The Scotty tour. And then my next single was Make Me Want To. And then we was doing a bunch of festivals that year. Toured at Rascal Flatts that year. Yeah. And then my next single was This Is Us. And then the next single was Down Home. And around that time, we had toured with Chris Young, Brad Paisley.

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Like when I tell you, I literally...

purposely kept 98% of the music industry at arm's length. - Which is better, because no one wants you to do better than they're doing. No one, like everything is such a competition. - So I'm cool with everyone, right? I have no problem with any artist and I don't see any artist as competition. I never did because I was like, they can't do what I do.

I can't do what they do. If they try to do what I do, they'll get smoked. Because that's who I am. And if I try to do what they do, they'll get smoked. I'll get smoked. So it was like, I see Chris and I was cool with him, say hi. I would see other artists, cool with him, say hi. Cool with Brad, cool with Gary LaVox, but I would consider Gary LaVox a friend. So you have certain artists that once you meet them,

you can feel someone's energy, right? You either connect or you don't. Yep. And you can tell when someone's putting the effort in for Jimmy Allen, the artist, or James Allen, the person. And that's what I felt with Gary. Like Gary's been there for me from the time we toured together till now. Yeah. So then you have, who else I toured? So I was on the Rascal, Brad Plays Tour and doing Dance with the Stars. Yep. And I was on a book tour at the time.

So me and my partner Emma would be in LA on Sundays and Mondays for the show. Then we'd fly to a city, rehearse, whatever, whatever, play a show. Then some mornings I'd have to get up and go do a book interview or a book meet and greet and then a radio interview. So we did that for eight weeks. It was like a lot. And then I was like...

on every TV thing you can think of, right? - Well, I mean, it's a lot to go from not being known at all to then your face being plastered everywhere. - Oh, absolutely. - Like there's no way that anyone's going to convince me that that doesn't take a toll on you as a person. - Yeah, and I would say it definitely took a toll on me as far as physically. Like I never changed as far as a person, felt like I was too good for people 'cause the same friends I grew up with,

are the same friends i hang out with now every year i have a buddy of mine whose birthday is close to mine we go on a fishing trip we've been doing that since we were 15 years old and i've canceled shows and tv appearances to still make that official trip so for me you know i was it didn't take a toll on me as far as me changing it took a physical toll on me it took a physical but can you really say that it never took a mental toll on you

Mental as far as... Mental as in like your mental health. Oh, my mental health. Absolutely. It's exhausting. It is. It will have you... Having to play a part for all these different people. Always got to be on. Yeah. No matter where you are.

No matter if you're the one that needs help or needs a break, if you gotta, you know, you gotta do this because this person says it's important or you gotta do this because you know, if you do this, it's going to help pay the bills for your band or the bills for your crew or pay your manager or pay your booking agency or whatever. And I think it becomes easier when you realize that, I think it took me a really long time to get to this place. But the moment I realized that,

producers, networks, production companies, management companies, they really don't care about you. Like as much as they like to say they care about you, they don't. Like you're a dollar to them. Oh, absolutely. And the moment you are no longer there,

having their pockets, I'm wiping my hands clean, goodbye. And so what, a year and a half ago, so you're like on your high with career, music, everything. And your wife, Lexi, which I know from like all, you know, Nashville's just like,

Somehow when you get involved in like this Nashville circle, everyone meets. I say like Nashville is the most like incestual town. Like everyone sleeps with everyone. And like, it's just the weirdest town. It's so weird. But everyone knows everyone. Yeah. I tell people all the time. I said Nashville is an interesting place where on the surface, it's a love you, praying for you.

Care about you so much. But Nashville's more ruthless than L.A.

Nashville is one of the most. Because at least in LA, you know what you're dealing with. That's what I respect. Because I'm from the Northeast. If I don't like somebody, I will tell you. And if I don't like you, I'm not going to lunch with you. We're not going to have coffee. Oh, here? They will wine and dine you as they're like screwing your boyfriend. Oh, absolutely. Like that's just the town that it is. That's what I, you know, definitely learned about being here. And I didn't expect it at first because, you know, I'm thinking if someone wants to tie in Christianity and God together,

with who they are as a person, there's no way this person could just do you dirty the way they do you in the business sometimes. Right. And I had to learn that the hard way, you know? Cause where would you say, where did the downfall start? Like, cause there's been a lot, as you know, the past few months, like past year, there's been a lot in the press about you, a lot of stories written, a lot of things that,

I know firsthand and for people listening, like a tabloid will take 5% of a story that's the truth. They'll take 5% and then spin this whole narrative and that's a complete and total lie. So you and Lexi, how long were y'all together? - We got together 2019. We got married in 2020 and had the big wedding in 2021.

Then we filed for divorce publicly April 2023. Okay. And what, in your heart and mind, what led to that? Oh, it was me. Okay. Absolutely. We keep it in a bucket. It was me. Because I tell people all the time, man, a lot of people, I know me, I can speak for myself, I struggled with, and I still struggle sometimes with, not as much, but

being who I am 100% and being what other people want you to be, right? And I think at the time when me and Lex met and when we got together, like everything about who she is, right, made me fall in love with her, right? Made me want to marry her. But at the same time, I want that. You can sometimes meet the person you want to marry, but not be ready at that time.

to be married, right? And I found myself in a place where I wanted to be married, I wanted her, but I didn't want to not be with her or not commit to her because I didn't want a chance of losing her if it took me three or four years to get ready, right? So I got into a relationship when I knew I was at a place in my life where I still wanted my career to be first, right? I still chose to, if I felt like hooking up with other women, I could, right?

Right? And it's selfishness if we're being honest. Well, unfortunately, she was a casualty to your own war. Absolutely. Absolutely, man. And what sucks is I feel like the sooner we can be honest with ourself, right?

then we can be a better version of ourself for our future spouse, for our kids, for our friends. Because I feel like there's a lot of people every day that

Okay, this person needs me to be this person, so I'll be that person. Okay, this person needs me to be this person. - Changing who you are for someone else. - Exactly. - That leaves you lost and confused and not knowing. - And what sucks is, you know, I, 'cause she didn't propose to me, I proposed to her. You know what I'm saying? Was I wrong? Hell yeah, I was wrong. I can say that, absolutely. Can I look back and say, yeah, I committed to her and I cheated on her? Yeah. Do I feel bad for it? Absolutely. Do I, have I apologized? Multiple times. I still do, and I feel bad.

But also the one thing I learned through therapy and help is you can't sit there and just wallow in fear.

And your past mistakes, because you find yourself just there and not growing. You can accept accountability for your actions, apologize, but then you spend every day trying to be better. So if, as a baby, if you're in a relationship and you want to work it out, then, you know, try. If you're struggling with fidelity, right? If you're struggling with putting that person first, be honest with them, right? And then let that person you're with be able to make a decision if they want to be with you or not, not this false facade that you put up.

Yeah. And to just because I think something too, that's important is a lot of women, because for the most part, I mean, you'd hear like, it's a ton of a lot of times it's men cheating. But you a lot of women look at it, and they're so angry and bitter towards it and grin it like I've been in that boat before. Like, yeah, of course, you're angry and bitter. But

As women, we have to get to a place like not condoning the behavior, not saying that the behavior is okay, but getting to a place of if someone is taking accountability, saying, I'm sorry, doing all the right things, like you shouldn't have to suffer for the rest of your life for mistakes that you've made. And I think that's a really tough place. You know, I keep looking at Aaron because we kind of,

You know what I'm saying? Like you just because you've made a mistake, like you are not your mistake. Yeah. And I, my therapist said one time, imagine if the same people held other people for their mistakes, got help for all theirs as well. Yep. You know what I mean? Because it's, it's really easy to, you know, get caught up in, well, this person did this to me and I'm hurt. Okay. Well, how long are you gonna be hurt for?

Right. And at one point, if you're going to be hurt, that person shouldn't be in your life anymore. If you can't get past it, whether it's a friend that hurts you, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, whatever. I was like, literally podcast before this, Kimberly, she said, you can't heal around the same people who broke you. You know, like you, you just, sometimes it's just, even if it's a family unit, even if it's something, if you,

you can only do so much healing if the people that are around you aren't healing as well. Like if they've chosen not to heal, you can't heal around them. - Absolutely. - And so, and I think a big part of what you're doing, like you said, you take full accountability, full responsibility. Doesn't mean, oh, it was right, but,

you can't hold people, you can't nail people to the cross forever for mistakes that were made. And so at one point it came out that you guys were reconciling, right? - No, that was a, what do you call it? Misinformation. - Misinformation. Where did the misinformation come from? - We don't know. - Really? - We don't know. And the crazy thing is like we,

I think there was a time to where she was wearing her ring, then wasn't, then wearing it again, right? Yeah, and we never even talked about the whole ring situation. I feel like there's a lot of things where people put too much emphasis. The world's full of people that have too much time on their hands. And they try to read into things that ain't that deep. So whether or not how she wore her ring, we wouldn't think about that. I wasn't either. But I know after...

The divorce was filed. And then after my allegations lawsuit came out, right? We had went to therapy, right? And it was, and at the time it was like, is this a us working out therapy or is this us learning how to coexist to co-parent therapy?

You know what I mean? And did I think about wanting to work it out? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Did she think about wanting to work it out? Absolutely. Y'all had at this time two kids together. Was she pregnant with the third? Yeah, she was pregnant with the third. And I can say in my mind there was times where I did want to work it out, right? And then there was times where I didn't. It was a constant internal battle for me. Okay, yes, I want to fix this. I don't want to fix it. I want to fix it. I don't want to fix it, right? And then I think for her, I think she had wanted to

but I think her wanting to do it was based on... It's more for the family unit? I think either that or I think her wanting to do it, I think she wanted to fix it, right? But I think her wanting to fix it and actually making the steps to do it was based on my effort, right? And that's how it should have been. I had to show her that, hey, this is actually what I want to be committed to. And then I had to be honest with myself and realize, you know...

a committed relationship for me at that at that point in time is not what I wanted

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And there had to be, she at some point, I guarantee you had to step back and look and say like, I have to have enough respect for myself. Yeah. To want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me or who, you know, and I don't want to speak for her cause she's not here. But so that you guys went to therapy and you,

It just came to be just like we need to figure out how to coexist and co-parent. And it was like, and I think even some parts of therapy, it was still of, hey, let's try to work this out, right? Whether it was something that we said every day or something we just thought about. But the one thing that I think that therapy was really, really good for, if anything, it really showed me parts of me that I didn't know existed. Right.

and her parts of her that she didn't know existed. And we were able to, I feel like, really see and understand each other for the first time. Right? And I feel like that was the biggest gain for that. But also at the same time, would you not say there was a little bit of

of hurt associated with that, of finally getting to a place of being able to see each other that maybe you wished, like if you would have seen that at the beginning, it wouldn't have ended where it did. And I feel like too, that takes people being

Again, the whole being honest with yourself about who you are and there's no way to know who you are until you dig, actually dig into who you are as a person from your childhood to your adult life to see, okay, what happened here that made you view this this way, right? What happened here that hurts you to the point where you just shut that part of you off completely?

where you're not well you have to face your trauma head-on absolutely because your trauma has a way of changing the trajectory of your life if you don't confront it if you don't confront like the generational curses if you don't confront all of these things you just run the rat race yeah like over and over and over again and again it's not an excuse

I say like, cause there's, there's been a point in my life to where I used trauma as an excuse to act in certain ways. Like, but it was for me as an adult, I was like, all right, I realized that. So now it's my responsibility to put a stop to it. And that's where it took therapy and tough work and truly getting into, you know, the weeds of it all. And so now I,

where would so and then it's one point during all this you found out you were having twins twins yeah and like not just hey I'm having a baby but I'm having twins and it created yeah twins was like really running in my family to begin with so it was in 2022 you know me and Lexa got to this point where it's like okay you know we're done yeah

I hooked up with someone, you know, that I was friends with for a while or whatever. Yeah, because there was rumors swirling. Was it someone you were friends with or was it a fan? Someone I was friends with. Okay. Yeah. And I saw that, the whole, that daily male nonsense. I was like, Jimmy, really? A fan? Come on. Let me tell you something. Listen, that was one of the most frustrating things because it just like,

it pissed me off because we even told the person when they reached out about it hey this is what it is yeah her and jimmy been friends jimmy became jim before jimmy became jimmy allen yeah this is this and they still run with this whole super fan article and all the pictures in the world that we have taken together they use the one with the radio backdrop on the back i said that's exactly why

I tell people all the time, I don't trust none of these media outlets, bro. No. I don't trust them at all. Why do you think I say it's smarter for you to share your story than to allow someone else to share? Yeah, because they run this whole story talking about Jamie's baby was super fan and da-da-da. Wait, what? And that pissed me off even more because I was like, yo, we just told them. Yeah. My team just had a conversation with these people, gave them all the information they needed. But

that don't sell people would rather watch you fall off a mountain than climb to the top people love to build you up just to watch you fall absolutely so yeah I even though me and my wife weren't divorced on paper like we okay we said we were done right and the crazy thing is the older you get after you talk and after you have I guess conversations right I can honestly say that

we were still married on paper yeah we're still legally married so she didn't have done it right but at the same time I mean I don't necessarily that is such an old school view of things that's where I feel like to me it's still a confusing thing to where I felt like because I'm I'm the type of person like when we were in that situation right and we said we were done when we say we're done we're done

I'm a take you at your word type person. I say, if you have filed for divorce. But we didn't file at that time. She got pregnant before we filed. Do you know what I'm saying? I was trying to help you. I feel that, but we keep it in the book. All right, I was trying to help you. So we said we were done. Okay. Right? We said we were not together anymore. So then I hooked up with a friend of mine. And did you not know how babies were made? Man, listen. I mean, I would have thought after three years.

I know how they're made for sure. But the crazy thing is you don't, you're not even, don't think about that in the moment. And you know, it's, I didn't. Welcome to the mind of a guy where only one head's working at the time. You didn't, I didn't, I did not think about that because it was like, yeah, yo, you're still you. I love that. The mind of a guy. I mean, because it's like, it's so like,

a double thing to where it's like, yeah, divorce wasn't filed, but yet, okay, boom, we say we're not together. And then even after that, the crazy thing is after that, we still didn't know if we would actually get divorced or not get divorced. Really? So how did she respond? Were you able to tell her before she found out through the media or? Well, she heard about it.

Not through the media, though. Yeah, but did she hear about it from you? Yeah, I told her when she asked me. Got it. So, but she knew about it. How men communicate? Yeah, I told her about it when she asked me about it. Yeah. How did she find out about it? So she heard through someone, right? Yeah.

And this was before it came out. Like it wasn't even out in public and stuff. The public didn't know about the twins until I posted them on my own Instagram. Yeah. And Lex knew before. Okay. Before that. So, yeah, man, it's so crazy. Like looking back on everything. Yeah. Cause now it's like a whole world. Hindsight is 2020 for sure. Right.

So now at this point in time and today, are you like, are you divorced? We're still going through the divorce. You're still going through the divorce. You've got all the kids, right? I've got six kids. Three boys, three girls. All right. I would assume you're done.

With kids? Yeah. Yeah, I'm finished. Yeah, that's probably a smart move for you. It's a wrap. It's done. Good, smart decision. You should probably make that a permanent decision, if you know what I mean. Just to be safe. Let's just do it, like, friend me, you know, just to be safe. So...

With all of that and obviously in the midst of all of this, like we said, canceled, like everyone dropped you. And in that moment, what were you feeling? Man, it was a mix of frustration, being pissed off, a feel of regret for sure for my actions because it went from, yes, I was committed to Lex and then I did that to her, right?

And then I have these new twins. And then the frustration from, you know, how the world wanted to paint this narrative. Yeah. Of how the twins came about. And once it's out there, it's out there. Like you cannot, once your reputation is shot, it takes a thousand times more work to make it back. And what's so crazy to me is I'm sitting here watching all these people drop me.

- Right. - After two, you've made them- - A lot of money. - Yeah. - And who I know- - Are doing the same things behind closed doors. - Exactly. The exact same thing. I'm sitting here and I see that this person doesn't work with me no more. This person doesn't work with me or this person won't speak to me and this person won't speak to me. And I'm sitting here like- - This is ironic. - It really shows you that

And no matter how many times someone tells you that they got your back, a lot of people care more about themselves for you and will throw you under a bus in a heartbeat to keep the heat off of what they're doing.

And I'm not saying that's everyone that works with me. Now, there were some people that worked with me and said, listen, they hit me up personally and said, I want you to know I love you. I care about you. But I had no other choice. But this company that I have has these brand sponsorships who they're not saying we have to. Because not everybody dropped me. Some people just say, hey, we're going to take a break. There's a huge difference between coming to me as a man and talking to me about this situation and saying, okay, boom, for a minute. Because you're going to understand it.

Absolutely. But then you have some people that'll just drop you and not talk to you. Yeah. And you're just like, trust me, I know. I know it all too well. Yeah. I was supposed to film the next day and I got no explanation from anyone. Yeah. It's a, it's a, but the one thing I can say is during all this, I was able to see who really cares about me. Yeah.

Who reached out? Like you remember who reached out when no one else was. Oh, absolutely. You remember who reached out when everyone else does. You remember people you thought that wouldn't go. I mean, people that I have been there for privately and publicly when they were going through certain things, right. That just completely gone. Yeah. And I'm like,

Yeah. I mean, people that I've invested my own personal money into their career. Yeah. You know, multiple artists gone. But that's also that's a blessing because it makes space for people to really show up. No, listen, I'm the type of person, man. I can love you from a distance. I can care about you, but I appreciate you showing me who you are.

I wish you the best in life. Yeah. You stay there. I'll stay here. Yeah. Because I feel like just cause someone's year has always been a friend just cause someone's family doesn't mean you have to keep them in your life. If they're not good for your life, there's been family members. I've cut off. Wait, literally just discuss this. You have to man, because it's family is what you make. Like I will say, you can't choose blood. No, unfortunately, dear God, if I could, Oh my God, I'd be rich.

Tom Brady would be my dad and we'd be good. We'd be good. - You know who my dad would be? - Who? If you could pick. - Denzel Washington. - Dude, I love him. - Denzel would be my dad. Will Smith would be my brother. - That's a pretty sick family. - Solid, right? - Yeah. - You know, I would say, who else if I could pick? Oh, Shaq would be my uncle.

Then you'd hopefully get the height. Kevin Hart would be my little brother. Yeah. Oh my God. I love Kevin. Do you know Chloe for a career day? I feel like I should throw some white people in there too. So let's see. Julia Roberts would be my aunt.

Oh my God. I love her. This is hilarious. Okay. So your chosen family, that's what I've said. Like this past year, like my chosen family, like I've cut out real family and like my chosen family are friends who showed up in the darkest of times who literally picked me up off my shower floor who like, those are, that's family to me.

And that's like the importance of it. People realizing like, all right, you get to pick your family. You don't have to be, you know, you don't have to be blood with people to call them family. And I think so now, right, I guess right now you're on your comeback.

I, you know, I guess some people do call it a comeback. I mean, I like to say like your setbacks set you up for a greater comeback. Absolutely. And I feel like what makes it great is the vantage point. You now have to see everyone stands that's outside of you, where you stand mentally, where you want to go, you know, seeing that. And you no longer have to abandon.

abide by the rules that people put in place for you. Like you can, I know for me, I am now able to stand up for what I believe in. I'm able to not be silenced. I'm able to truly live in my true self without other people hindering them. And so do you feel like that's kind of where you're at? - I do. You know, I feel like that,

Creatively. Like I've spent the last year writing some of the best songs I think I've done in my entire life. And I did it home in Delaware, you know, where I'm hanging out with people that knew me when I spelled Jimmy with a Y, you know, to where most of my days are spent with

either hanging with the kids, bowling, fishing, writing songs, recording songs. I got a new band. I got one guy from my old band still in it, Nate. Me and Nate been playing music together since 2007. - That's awesome. - But I got some family members in my band now. Got three black guys in my band. You know what I'm saying? My band needs some color. - I'm done. - My band was too pale before and I need some color in my band. - Well, I love that. So what's next?

Um, next for me is just trying to continue to, first of all, be a good father, um, a good co-parent because like me and Lex are in a really good place right now. I love that. You know, where I realized communication is a big thing where we really had a conversation about everything after everything was over. And I really got a chance to talk about

My side. She really got a chance to talk about her side. I felt like we really understood each other and respect each other. Yeah. And next is creating music that I love playing shows when I want to, where I want to try to find ways to the TV thing without having to do the TV thing. Mm hmm.

Bowling. Bowling? Bowling's for life. I can't wait to see that. Shout out to the PBA. I'm going to give some of my bowlers a shout out right now. Shout out to EJ Tackett, Sean Rash, Ronnie Russell, Kyle True. You have taken on this bowling thing as like a real identity. Shout out to Anthony Simonson.

Shout out to... Are you just naming your whole bowling team? Nah, these are professional guys that bowl. Shout out to Tom Hess. The list goes on and on. Shout out to Brunswick. Hammer, nothing hits like a hammer. Welcome to Jimmy Allen, ex-country music artist, now pro bowler. Here we go. But the crazy thing is, if... I'll say this. Someone asked me this question last week. Okay.

If I had a billion dollars in my account, what would I chase? And what that did, that helped me put everything in perspective. I can honestly say if I had a billion dollars in my account, I would still write music and put it out. But I would spend 80% of the year hanging with my kids and bowling. I would spend 5% of the year playing shows. Yeah. And I would spend the rest of the time like writing and creating the whole time and just putting music out. Because...

What I realized for me is the more I can spend living, I have things to write about. I have things that I have places to pull when I need to create. Hey, I can give you a shit ton of content over here. I bet. I know you got to fill me in. And then I realized this. Yo, we're on a roll today. I'm just glad it wasn't a black person. I didn't know. Honestly. I love you. I realized that.

My love for music is love for music. It's not love for fame. It's not love for awards. I love music. You know what I mean? So I get just as much enjoyment when I create a song and release it as I do if I was to win an award or not win an award.

You know, and the thing about awards is, you know, unless they're fan voted. It's all. It's all. It's all a joke. Hey, this label calls this label. Hey, you vote for my person. Yeah. And I'll vote for your person. It's cute. It looks nice for television, but. But it means nothing. It's not real. No. Now, the fan voted awards, them will tell you who's really kicking butt. Okay. Exactly. Them fan voted awards will let you know what artists are really doing what. And I tell people all the time is.

It's nothing against the other award shows. I feel like whoever wins those other awards, whoever wins an award, like when I won CMA New Artist of the Year, do I feel like I was the best new artist? No. But what I felt that award was, that was the industry letting me know, hey, you've reached a point in your career that we see you, you're doing good, and keep going. Now, I value the award not because of the award itself,

I valued the award because of it lets me know that the acceptance, right? And that was the biggest thing for me. And when a lot of people will try to turn it into a negative that I

you know, the awards are voted on by the industry. So they vote for your favorites. You can look at that way, but I choose to look at it. Like, you know, if you're an artist coming into this, it lets you know, Hey, there's a lot of people in the industry that respect what you're doing. And that's the biggest part for me. And that's how I had to start looking at whether it was a Grammy, a,

ACM, a CMA, right? That was the biggest thing for me was not saying I'm a CMA winner or an ACM winner. Just knowing that I'm accepted and what I create is respected. And that's what, that's what I started taking from it. That's awesome. So, all right. When's new music coming out? So I got a new song out right now called grits called girls raising sticks. Um, it was so funny too. Like when I put this song out, people just kept commenting. Like when I was teasing it,

you know that's the same name as a brantley gilbert song i was like i know that okay i'm a brantley gilbert fan he put out in 2014 he's such a great and i was like his song grits stands for girls within the south mine's girls within the sticks when i say people there's over a thousand songs out there with the same title literally literally the two different me and brantley song are two different songs yeah it just has the same title exactly um but shout out to brantley gilbert um

So Grits is Girls Raisin' the Sticks. Because I can't say Girls Raisin' the South like he did because I'm not from the South. Yeah. Grits is a global thing. It's a global thing. There's sticks all over. You know what I mean? Sticks are global. Well, I just have to say, I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm proud of you too. Keep doing the hard work.

I'm proud of you, too. Keep doing the hard work. And we'll have to catch up over some bang, bang shrimp. And we need to go bowling. We got to get you in the bowl. Dude, I bowl with bumpers. Just change that. You control where the ball goes. I just throw shit. Like, it, like, goes up in the air and lands. Yo, you just look like your grandma when you do that. What? You look like your grandma when you do that. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Lord, help me. Well...

- Dude, like what? Just because I've like gained weight, my face is not weird? - No, it was the facial expression you did. See that right there? That's gaslighting.

That's gaslighting. I'm going to give you a great example. Are people saying like your face looks popular and I'm like, fuck you. I just said you look like your grandma because that face is special. But when you just, I'm going to point out how, okay, we're going to get into this for a second. I'm going to point out how women gaslight more than men. All right. You ready? I just said, no, hold on. I just said, I know. I just said, you look like your grandma when you did that.

Then you said, what, you said I gained weight or something? That's not what I said. I just said you look like your grandma. Like someone gave this great example. This lady was like, I was watching on TikTok and I really watch TikTok. Okay, I watch TikTok, but I don't watch TikTok, but whatever. This lady said, she said, oh, she said one of her friends asked her husband, hey, do you want to go out to eat tonight? And he said, no, I don't feel like going out tonight.

Then she said her friend responds and said, oh, she don't love me. You don't want to be seen with me in public. Are you ashamed of me? He was like, no, I just said I don't want to go out. Case in point. I just said you look like your grandma. You do have a point. OK, you are right. I'm not here to be right. No, men are always here to be right. I'm here to learn and hang with my friend. Well, thank you for coming on the podcast. I appreciate it.

We have mastered throwing shade.

We are in the business of helping you find and keep your man. And we're here to teach you the fine art of tactful pettiness. Join us each week as we traverse the world of pop culture, chat with our celebrity friends, and show you how to accept yourself without taking life too seriously. Get new episodes of tactful pettiness with me, Cody Rigsby, and me, Andrew Chappelle, every Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and anywhere you get your podcasts.

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