Savannah and Chadd Reunite (feat. Chadd Bryant) [Part 1] 41:15

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with Unlocked and the past two weeks have been our Prison Diaries series, which has been an emotional freaking roller coaster. So you're welcome. I'm just going to apologize now for taking you through that because I have had so many people call me and they're like, Savannah, I was in tears. I was sobbing. I so I'm

it made a lot of people feel good because it gave them insight as to what was going on, how mom's doing, all those things. So in true Savannah fashion, why not keep the emotional roller coaster going? And so on today's episode, we have Chad back.

I know. So y'all, every time, so on social media, like it doesn't from the dead. Yes, you have. You really have. Cause y'all, he was dead. I've done buried him, you know, all of it. He's gone. Um, but, and vice versa. But,

Anytime I post a photo of like me and any friend, it doesn't matter who it is. Me and Tyler, me and whoever. Everybody's like, where's Chad? Where's Chad? What happened? What happened? And well, we'd like. They did it to my stuff too, just so y'all know. Yeah. Well, yeah. I see people all the time. Where's Savannah? Where's Savannah? What's happening? People inbox me all the time. What happened? What happened? I just didn't entertain any of it.

So, and there's a, I feel like, well, first off too, so much time has passed. First off, and Chad and I have already talked a little bit about what has kind of happened. Right. But at the same time, so much time has passed. I feel like it just got to a point where it's like even, like,

- It happened. - Right. - And so we wanted to kind of talk through it because also too, if we're going through this, I know other people are going through like losing a friendship or wanting to repair a friendship, not knowing how to do so. And I don't know, I think it's just like a healthy setting to do it. - Yeah, perfect. - Jaddy said- - We know y'all got questions. So we trying to give y'all some answers so y'all will leave us alone on the socials.

- I'm just kidding. - And two, with Chad being here, we also have Aaron because we have to have like a little moderator, you know? - Right, 'cause you never know with me and Sassy. - Lord knows you'll need it. - Yeah.

We can get a little... Y'all can say some stuff you can't take back. It's kind of y'all's thing. Yeah. I think so. A little more similar than y'all remember sometimes, I think. Yeah. So do I get to say my rules now? Because I got rules. I'm a real moderator today. Okay. Let's hear them. I'm like debate style. Okay. This is going to probably be emotional convo at some points. Maybe y'all are both too hardened to have any emotions at this point. I really don't know. But...

If there is, because it could be emotional, y'all cannot interrupt each other. Even if someone's saying something, you're like, that's not how I saw it. That was not my reality. You got to let them finish because you are going to start pissing each other off.

That's the first one. The second one is that the only thing that's really on the table is y'all. And if other people came into it because they affected y'all's relationship, then just keep it about y'all. Yeah. So like, obviously your parents are going to come up Savannah. There may be some people involved, but like not about what happened as it relates to them, but just how it affected y'all. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

- I have a very first question then I'm gonna let y'all take it, but I may like interject and just stop you if y'all are getting off track. - Okay. - You're making me nervous. - Start with how you- - I'm not gonna have a fingernail left after this. - Y'all got one of those bells ringing, ding, ding, ding. - Savannah, you're probably gonna be in a presidential debate in 2028, so you gotta get ready. - Yeah. - Hey, you know, I'll take it. - Start with how you guys became friends. - Do you remember? - No. - How we first met? - No. - I do. So I had been cutting Todd and Grayson's hair

I just started cutting their hair. And, and just so everybody knows before I was actually on the show, we were friends for a longer time, even before I was very first on the show. So people always thought when I first came on the show, that's when we first became friends, but we've been friends for a really long time, long time, like six, seven years or maybe longer. I can't remember. I got Alzheimer's. Yeah. I'm like 47. But anyway, I,

I had met her once in the garage when I was cutting her dad's hair and her brother's hair. And then the second time she came back and I was cutting their hair again or I came back, I was in their house and there was a mirror across. I could see her in the mirror. And so she came up and she was like, hey, oh my God, so good to see you. And when she hugged me behind my back to her dad, she was like, who is this? And I was like...

Okay, this bitch does not remember who I am. So I was like, so I kind of called her out on it. And it kind of was how we started our friendship because, you know, we just kind of kept it real from kind of that moment forward. That is hilarious. I remember that. Y'all, I do that all the time. You know, people come up to me and hug me and be like, oh my God, so good to see you. And I'm like, who is that? Like, I don't know who this is, but I'm going to pretend like I know who this is.

do because I feel so bad. Yeah. Stop. That is how we became friends. Yeah. And then I think just over the years we, I mean. Well, here's the thing. Your dad, I think was really grateful that we were friends because A, I'm a gay man. I'm not a threat to you, but I'm kind of not a gay man. I will fight somebody, you know, like not that gay people don't fight, but I will throw down. I mean, I've been kicked in the head by like horses and bulls and shit on the rodeo team. So,

I think he felt like I would be protective of her, but I'm not a threat to her. You know what I mean? But I've always said you're the straightest gay guy I know. Right. Like ever, that I've ever met in my entire life. Right. And so I think that it just, we became closer and closer because...

You know, I think it was easy for you to see that I was trustworthy and I was, you know, loyal and I was a friend. And again, I think you felt safe with me. You were some, and I'm just the type of person where I want to help people. I want to protect people. That's just who I am. Yeah. So it just kind of worked out for us in our friendship. Oh, for sure. And I think over the years too, it's like we went through a lot of shit together. We went through a lot of stuff. I mean, even just us going on trips together could be a...

you know, really long, like six, seven true detective crime series, potentially. 100% without a doubt. Like the stuff that we did, but also like through relationships and through like so much life stuff that happened that it's like, I, you know me, I don't really have like friends, like friends. And I, as Aaron laughs, but

that I do have are so close though that they're like family. You know, like I don't have like a, I don't know. Like if I invest time, you're family. Yeah. I think that you have had friends that,

In the past that have turned out to not be your friends or have hurt you. So your friend group is very small. Yeah. And very close knit. 100%. Without a doubt. So, yeah, I guess that's kind of like over the years, our friendship has,

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And then we were just together all the time. And then it just, it just transpired from, you know, us being friends all the time to eventually us living together. Once your relation fell apart, my relationship fell apart. You're like, you're in that house by yourself. I'm in this house by myself. Let's move in together. I was like, all right, cool. But also too, now that I look at it, that was kind of probably the worst decision ever because it was like trauma bonding.

Yeah, it was trauma bonding. And it really was. Codependent. Very. It was super codependent. And then it was also...

just, you know, there's a reason why people say, oh, we were best friends until we lived together and then we didn't. Not that there was ever any drama or trauma with us in the house. It was just a super serious codependency. And then with everything going on behind the scenes with your parents and stuff, I think we leaned on each other even a little bit more. Yeah. And it just became super, so intense that there was just no...

there weren't healthy boundaries or separation between our friendship. Not that we should have had it, but for certain scenarios, you have to have it. You always have to have boundaries and you have to have your own space, your non-negotiable things and your own space. Cause people still, they're like, all right, well, what happened? Like they're listening to this and they're like, well, you're sitting here saying nothing happened, but something clearly happened. I think for me, where I went wrong was obviously I'm like,

I don't have that many people in my life. So the people that I do have, like there are people that I'm like, all right, I can vent to. We've all gotten pissed off at someone or a friend or whatever it may be. And we vented, but like in my situation, hell, y'all, I don't care. I vented to family members and then they turned around and twisted things or made it sound like I said things in certain ways that I didn't. - Right.

It caused drama. And instead of us, and I heard things from people, you heard things from people. Right. And instead of us coming to each other. Right. We were just like, it just kept going. It just kept going further apart. Yeah. And can I say this of why it became a separated situation in the first place? Yeah. Because I want to take accountability for myself. Um, I am the type of person, you know, this about me. Um,

I will do anything for people even when they don't ask me to do it. Yeah. I would get on to you all the time. I know. Even when they don't ask me. So I overdo stuff and then I build up resentment when really I'm just mad at myself because nobody really even ever asked me for anything, but it's just who I am as a person. And I don't have healthy boundaries when it comes to that. I will take care of everybody but myself. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's kind of what happened with the situation. You know, once your parents went away, I wanted to be as helpful as I could, but I was also drowning emotionally and feeling like I didn't have a life, but I wasn't communicating it because I didn't want to add another problem to your life.

So when Chloe got out of school, I thought, okay, I'm going to take a break and go away. But I don't think I handled it properly or communicated it properly. So when I did separate, you know, I'm sure you probably felt abandoned by me. Oh, for sure. You know, because I'd always been there. And the only person that you really, truly could trust behind the scenes and just was there. Oh, without a doubt.

That was the toughest thing. Cause I would never forget. I was in the pantry. I was cleaning out the pantry and you were like, Hey, so I'm going to move out. And I was like, what the, where the hell, where the hell is this coming from? For you? It was built up for me. It was like, I had already lost and where I went wrong was like, you know me, I don't deal with my emotions right off the bat. Like at all. I was kind of in that mom and dad left. All right, now I got to fix everything. So like, let's just keep moving forward. Let's deal with what we have to deal with.

I wasn't focused on my emotions at all. - Right, neither one of us were. - No. - Well, y'all didn't have room to be. Like y'all were both in survival mode. Y'all both grew up a lot of your life in survival mode. So you're used to being on that setting of like cruise control, gotta get it done, put your head down, don't worry about it. And then when any, like when the flood gates are open, someone says something that makes you sad, mad, or you have one second of like silence, like cleaning out. I mean, I know that you're talking about Chad moving out. Like if you were cleaning the pantry or doing something like,

like it doesn't require a lot of brain power, then all of a sudden, any kind of break, it's coming right back. - Oh, for sure. And I think the hardest part was, was like you were there through all of it, like all of it. So I always knew that like, all right, Chad's gonna be there. And I really had no one. Like I love my family, but my family wasn't there for me. Like they just weren't. Like Chase, my grandparents, no one.

And so and that could have been a little bit my fault, too, because I was so there for you that they may have thought, well, they're they got this. I'm not I'm not saying one way or another, but for me to just kind of leave and in my mind think, well, her family's here. So they they've got her. You know what I mean? Regardless, I want to say that I didn't communicate anything.

throughout the process that I was not okay. Yeah. And then I just was in a survival flight mode of, I've got to get out of here and take care of myself because I didn't communicate it properly to you. But I was, you know, I was, I was overwhelmed mentally and emotionally because I wanted to be helpful to you. Yeah. But I was drowning in

with everything. And again, not even stuff that you were asking me to do. I would even call you and be like, I'm going to call you today. I'm going to do this. You wouldn't even call me to do stuff. I would just volunteer. Cause that's just who I am. And instead of just me pulling the reins back and trying to focus on myself, I thought you're doing so much cause you're working on, you know, the stuff with the attorneys and, you know, just figuring out life things of, of,

you know, finances and how to get. Yeah. Right. So I didn't want to add another stress, but I didn't realize when I left that that would add another stress. And when I left, you're right. Like there were things that naturally you would vent to your family. Yeah. But they would call and tell me about it. And then it was super hurtful for me. So then I would just, when I feel like this is what happens, you know this about me. Yeah.

Even in relationships, in any relationship romantically that I've been in, even with some of my family members, if I feel like it's going to be drama and there's going to be something that's going to happen and it's going to spiral out of control and it's going to cause a situation for there never to be a chance for me to be around this person again, I will cut ties and run. I will block. I will delete. Yeah, you did that. And that's with everything. Block, delete from social media. Because instead of me communicating and saying and maybe clarifying it,

because it was people that were close to you, I felt like it was hurtful to me, but I should have communicated. I just think that we both...

Instead of communicating and handling it, we just kept listening to everybody else and kept getting further and further apart. And there was really no way for you to communicate with me because I blocked you. Yeah, I deleted you. But I do that. Here's let me tell you why I do this. Also, y'all look, I told y'all my name. I'm already three nails. I'm already nails down. But here's the thing. In my mind, when I do that, I think if we don't get to a place where we fight nasty and we fight dirty, we're

and time can go by and we can let things settle, then we can come back around just like we are right now. Yeah. And we can get out of our own feelings because when you, when you are emotionally at such a level of,

Where I know how you can fight dirty and I know how I can fight dirty. It would have ended horrifically probably. And there would probably have never been a chance. We've actually never had a horrible fight, but I felt like it was around the corner. If, if I didn't do something drastic, that's why I deleted and blocked and I disappeared. And that's what I do. And it's not healthy. And I know that. And I got to work on that shit. Okay. So don't be blowing me up in my inbox, but unless you're a therapist, that's,

But I knew that I needed to, I knew that I needed to do something to protect myself. And in the long run, I thought, well, I'm protecting her too, because I don't ever want to say anything that's hurtful to you because I did care about you. I care about your family and, you know, and stuff like that. So I just basically disappeared and there was no way for anybody to get in touch with me. Oh yeah. So,

really gonna go down what happened so I when you blocked me when it got really dirty was when you Nick posted a photo of you two and here's the thing you didn't know in that moment because as I'm actually thinking about it when I'm calm now you didn't know in that moment that I already knew things you were saying to your family and

Because you were hurt and felt abandoned by them. I already knew all those things and you didn't know that I knew those things. Yeah. So when you messaged me that text message, when you saw me with Nick and I, we just, we did not go together. We actually just ran into each other. Sit on your damn hands or something. What? Sit on your hands. Sorry. You know, I look like a crack out over here. It's bad, dude.

Sorry. Phone and hands need to go under your ass. But I've got my phone out for a reason. Okay. Yeah. When I ran into Nick, he took a picture and posted it. Okay. Well, I've had...

two drinks time six probably okay because i was at two boots and i was dancing like i was not gonna live tomorrow and you texted me that text probably being joking you know loyalty at its finest or whatever i don't know i don't know if you are or not i was not joking i was so i was so you were your feelings because i had just like lost you and that was like oh so now you're hanging out

you're hanging out with Nick. But I really was it at that moment. We were Nick and I were not hanging out. I just happened to run into him and he took a picture, but I was still cutting his hair and stuff, but we weren't hanging out, hanging out. You know what I mean? Also too, it's like, that was very immature of me because like as an adult, you don't get to have a relationship with someone. And then when you're done with them, expect everyone else to be done with them. Like, and two, I'm like so grateful that you and Nick are,

Like got to become friends and have that relationship. Now looking back on it. But when I sent you that and then you sent me a text back. Oh Jesus. It was real long drawn out. We ain't gonna go there. We ain't gonna go into the details of it. We got a little nasty with each other there. We did. But then

I said, because for me, for anyone that knows me, if I've said something about somebody, right. You tell me what I've said and I either said it or I didn't, but I'm not going to run from it. Right. But I did say, I would love for you to get me face to face with anyone who said I've talked shit about you. Get me face to face. If I ever said anything about you, then I've said it to you. I don't run from it. I've always loved you. And that has not, and that has not and will not ever change. But you had already blocked me by that point. I don't even see it. Oh yeah.

You didn't even see that. And then, so that was July 1st. Then July 16th, I text you again and said, life is too short. I love you. Right. Of course, still blocked. But you didn't know you were blocked.

I knew I was blocked because it went through his green. Yeah. And we all, me and her already, we've talked about this. And then July 30th, I sent you another text and said, I love you. Would love to get together for lunch next week if you're available. Like, and then the next time we spoke was when Nick, Nick died. Yeah. So here's the thing again. And I reached out Instagram too multiple times because I'm,

I had you restricted because so I didn't even see the messages on Instagram until I unrestricted you and unblocked you just so you know. It's going to make me seem like and a lot of my exes will say when it first happened, not that we ever were romantic, but they will say you're very cold. Well, I don't know why you did that. But later on, they'll thank me because it can get nasty and breakups can happen.

you know, if there, whether it's a friendship or whatever can get really dirty if you stay connected. And I just didn't want it to ever go there. That's why I did what I did. And once the emotions settled down, you can remember why you appreciated and love that person in the first place. And maybe think about what happened.

But for me, you know, when Nick and I did hang out that night and that happened and I blocked you, then him and I started hanging out because I didn't really have a whole lot of other people that I was hanging out with consistently either. Yeah. And neither did he, because he was, he was very involved in your family. And so was I. Yeah. We were probably the two most involved in your family hands down. And so he and I just kind of bonded over.

over that like what it was like to be part of your family and and to have the world judge us

you know, whether we were or were not in it and all these things. So he and I became really close and I am grateful for that moment because I would never have known what would have happened. Russ has huge savings on looks that are 100% you. So you can find all the styles that match your vibe from stylish skorts to jersey tees. The trendiest looks of the season will have you saying, it's a yes for me. Plus, they've got shoes to make any fit pop. Be the best dress for less with

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So that is really what happened and how we got to where we were. It was literally y'all, me talking shit to a family member because I was hurt and then that family member going and running their mouth and that, if I can tell you anything. Don't. Don't trust nobody. Don't trust family. Don't trust nobody. Well, and here's the thing.

even when I unblocked her and she said, you get me in front of the people again, I didn't want to, I don't like to say who said what I just, you know, because I don't like to throw people under the bus, but I had said it, you know, and, and I knew it wasn't a lot because it came from family members and it was, I was like, okay. So, you know, but you know, in the, in hindsight, there probably should have been some conversations, um,

But realistically, there shouldn't have been because neither one of us, I know you and you know me, neither one of us were in a mental headspace because we're in such trauma recovery over everything that had happened.

I knew. So as much as it probably was painful, I knew that it needed to happen. The separation needed to happen so that time and space could heal what was happening between us. Oh, for sure. And I think that honestly, looking back though, that probably was the best thing because we

That first little while was fricking traumatic. The whole thing. And there was too something, because one of the things that was said was that I said that like Chad didn't help me or didn't do something or whatever it was. And I'm like that, it made me so mad because I was like to anybody that will listen to me, I'm like, I don't know what I would have done without Chad that first time.

you know, three, four, six, however many months it was. I'm like, I literally don't know what I would have done. Cause like, I didn't have any help other than you. And so that was like, it was just certain things that were said that I was like, I wanted to correct it so fast. So I was like, that's not true. Like I publicly said it, I've said it to anyone that will listen. And so that was so hard, but it's like, I saw something and,

And it was talking about like basically repairing friendships and like how, like you said, sometimes time has to pass, but it's also friendships, relationships. It's so easy to forget like all the good stuff, you know, like right when you're in the midst of it, it's so easy to just say like, oh, well, these are all the shitty things that have been done or said or whatever. But really when you take a second and you look back at like photos or memories or whatever, you're like, okay,

It wasn't. It wasn't bad. No. It wasn't bad until it was. Yeah. And for me, when it got bad, I didn't have anybody to blame but myself, which

which is how it always is. And I'll be really honest, you know, I'm a lot older than you, even though I probably act younger than you sometimes. And I shouldn't, but, um, um, yeah, but I am older and I am, and I get frustrated with myself that I continue to put myself in situations. And again, I'm not saying it's a situation where,

I'm saying I do stuff again that even if people don't ask me, just for instance, you know, sometimes somebody will buy a house for me. I don't do this anymore. So don't come for me, Trek. But, you know, like and they're like, I hate this carpet. I'm like, I know how to put in floors. I'll tear up all your carpet, put floors in if you buy the material. And they're like, really? And I'm like, yeah, I offer. I have some things that have happened before.

when I was younger that I feel like I need to do things for people to like me. Yeah. And I overdo. So I did that, but I really, it was stuff that you wouldn't even ask me to do. And I'd be, I felt like I was smothering, but it was me doing it to me. Does that make sense? Oh, for sure. So, but do you think because of that, like,

Do you ever think you took it out on me at times? You know what I mean? Potentially, and vice versa. Yeah. And I think that that's what happens. Because me, like, I didn't deal with my emotions. Therefore, I would be angry or I would just be like, I would just... I feel like when you were in such a traumatic place in life, you just...

you're like a zombie. Like you just try to, and then there are times where you say stuff that you're like, I don't even remember saying that. I don't because here's what happens. Again, I don't want to get into anything in my past because none of it is relevant and it's all fine now, but I had to compartmentalize a lot in my life to, um,

and to keep pushing forward. So I don't really deal with stuff. I'm just like, I got to keep going. I got to keep doing this. I got to do this. And there's times where I'm frustrated where I won't communicate it. I'll just kind of act a little...

or like that I'm checked out or something or just tired. We're the same person. Y'all literally are the same. Like y'all both have dealt with times feeling isolated, feeling like you have to compartmentalize to deal with things because you just got to put your head down, which is often why you guys don't recognize when you're allowing your own boundaries to be crossed.

Because you're just in like compartmentalization mode. Get it done. Then it all hits you. So you guys have, I mean, y'all have both been through things in your childhood that didn't give you a choice but to put it in a box and put it away. Yeah.

And I feel like it's hard though as an adult when that's how you were like grew up. It's hard as an adult to change that. Like it's very hard. I mean, at my age is almost impossible. It's not impossible. Nothing's impossible. Yeah. But it just gets harder. Right. And I have gotten better through the years.

But I even felt like, and you know this, and you know this, Aaron, you know, even in relationships, I'll be like a month out of a relationship and already in another one. Oh, dude, you, I've never seen anything like it because you literally like plan their funeral and they are. Right. I cry one day, block, delete, just like everybody else. And then I move on. And then a year later, unblock them. And then we happen. I mean, I'm cordial with all my exes because we never really had like a

huge blow up and said things that we regretted. Same thing here. But I'll say that even when I took the break from you guys for myself, but didn't communicate well, I did really take a break and deal with a lot of stuff emotionally and

And just things, I really beat myself up. And when I get in a very stressful place, I wound up making myself physically ill. So, you know, I was even in the hospital last year, like four times, and

for the weirdest things possible that nobody would ever get. But the doctor eventually was like, I think you're just stressed out. And it was really just me going through stuff of, you know, because I loved you. I love you still and your family. And, you know, it was such a, I was so involved with you guys that,

In such a deep, emotionally connected way that I feel like family, maybe even more than even some of your family. But so when I did take a break or felt like I was taking a break and then things started transpiring and just kept getting further and further apart, then I kind of was like,

who am I really? I almost had like a identity crisis. Right. Of like, who am I without them? Am I anybody without them? And I was, I was somebody before I met y'all and I am somebody. So that's what I've been working on. I've not been in a relationship since I broke up with Jonathan. You know, that is wild.

Which is crazy. I've not been with anybody. So I really do feel like for once in my life, I am trying to work on myself and having healthier boundaries so that I can have healthier friendships and relationships so that I don't lose myself in every single thing that I do. And it's okay to say no and people will still love you. Yeah. And that's the tough part is like, I feel like, well, we're very similar. Like,

Literally everything that you just said is, it's spot on. Yeah. Y'all have spent a lot of time, I think,

Trying to make sure that no one has to feel the way that y'all felt in your darkest day Yeah, so like how alone you guys have felt at certain times not because you don't have mom siblings Family that loves you but because like people are people so sometimes people aren't there for you when you need them because they didn't know Or because they were spread too thin or whatever and we hold people to a standard. That's unrealistic Well, you definitely hold yourself to one. I mean, I don't know if

I don't know how much you expect other people to operate the way you do. I, in fact, don't think that either of you guys expect that. But when you find it, you don't want it to go anywhere because like y'all do for each other what like you've always done for other people.

- Well, it was like, it was, it's you and I've had this discussion. You've talked about in relationships, like when you date someone and like, they show up for you, like, like no one's ever showed up for you before. But then you're like, at first you're like, no, like don't do that. And then you're like, okay, wait, this is really great. And then you go back to, well, are you just gonna leave? - Yeah. - Are you just gonna like make my life easier and me depend on you and then you just leave? - Yep. - And can I say this? When I left,

didn't handle it the right way when I left. It was very abrupt. It sounds like y'all got a divorce. It literally was like a nasty divorce. He just got the rest of his clothes. Not too long ago. I thought Savannah was going to sell them. Like a few months ago? Yeah, a few months ago. Literally. They almost ended up at Goodwill. They did. They

They almost did. I was scared. I thought that they probably already were on fire. No, I almost texted Chad like, uh... Your shit's about to be on fire, bro. You better go get it. I didn't do it because I was like, I ain't getting in the middle of this marriage, but I thought about it. It was like a nasty divorce. Yeah. So when I left...

I'm just going to say, and this may not be it, but I felt like, again, when it's all happening, you don't have time to think about it because a, again, I have not been this close with somebody else and somebody else's family my whole life either. Yeah. You know what I mean? Um, and so I feel like when I left and I left abruptly, um,

And you did talk, but you talked about it with people that were in your circle. Like that I should have been able to vent to. Right. But when I heard it, I should have known that it probably felt like another one of your people that left. And you probably thought...

that I was talking crap and doing things and da da da da when really I wasn't. I was just trying to survive but you didn't know that. Because I didn't communicate that. Well that's the thing is both of our lack of failure led to even both of our lack of communication led to failure because

We just, it caused really more turmoil. Yeah. When in reality, if you would just not you, but just like people in general, if we would just communicate it and say like, Hey, this really hurt me or this, you know, can we talk about this? I just feel like God has a timing for everything. And I just knew again, and I'm not trying to say that it would have gone down this road, but

If there was not time and space, I think that we would have said things to each other that it would be a lot longer before we'd be sitting here. If at all. Yeah. Because y'all do talk. Y'all can get...

A little crazy, a little angry. And most of your sadness, or most of your anger, Savannah, yours comes from sadness. Chad, I think that's probably the same at its core for you. I think that's true of a lot of people. But when y'all are sad, translating to mad, y'all can say some hurtful stuff. But it's all as a defense mechanism. It's just like... Erin, y'all can say some hurtful stuff. Y'all don't really do it to me. I got banned from Facebook for five years from putting something on somebody's wall publicly. You did.

I was coming across the state line. I'm bringing the shovel and a lantern and they wouldn't find them. And they were like, you have threatened somebody, sir. You got to get off Facebook. I was like, Oh God. But you know, I'm, I'm, I'm just protective. And, and in that moment I knew I would not have been protective. I knew things with conversations we would have had would not have been helpful because you weren't in a head space to deal with it. I definitely wasn't. I knew I wasn't. And so as much as we should have, um,

I think it happened how it was supposed to for us to be here as soon as we are. Yeah. I also think, though, what really hurt me the most, really sitting back thinking on it, is, like, not only did I feel like...

you know, just abandoned. But like there was also Chloe and Gray. And then like mom, you know, she didn't hear from you for a little while. So it was like, but again, you were doing your own healing process. And nobody knew it, but I wasn't communicating. And so I think that's why I got even angrier. Right. And I can see that. Because like, screw how I feel, you know, like I just thought of, I don't know.

know. Right. Well, and I've always been close with Grayson and Chloe. Oh, yeah. You know, I take Grayson to concerts and stuff before this. And, you know, me and Chloe, we went to school almost, you know, in the morning times. And, you know, I made it a party and, you know, I would do her hair and stuff because you don't know how to do her hair sometimes. But, you know, but...

i felt i felt bad but i'm gonna tell you again and and i'm unapologizing because and i i and i want to apologize to them too i did not have it in me to survive mentally to be able to be around because i i i couldn't separate being helpful yeah and having healthy boundaries for my own life and myself and it just

I was in survival mode and I should have communicated it, but it just didn't happen. Clearly we are like going over time. So is it okay if we divide this into two episodes, two parts? Yep. Because I feel like the second part is going to get a little bit more emotional than the first. Yeah. Let's divide it here and then we'll air the next part next week. Okay. Okay. Perfect.

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