“I Hate that You Joined this Club” ft. Alexa Garcia 56:46

- No, I got these at the Nike outlet. - I had someone tell me the other day that Golden Goose are choogy now. - Okay, what the hell is choogy? - I guess it means like out of style or like it's like cringe, but I like them. - I always thought it was chaggy.

No, stop. It's not Cheggie. It's Cheugie. The fact that you thought it was Cheggie makes you Cheugie. Oh my God. I hate it. But I like them. Like I'm like, whenever I don't know what shoe to throw on, I'll throw on a Nike or I'll throw on. I always have Golden Goose. Well, and now the first time I ever met you, you were wearing Golden Goose and you complimented mine. And I was like, okay, so now every time someone's like, don't wear those. I'm like, Savannah Chrisley wears them. Until Savannah Chrisley stops wearing them. Like I'm wearing mine. I'm done.

Well, before we get going, guys, I have Alexa on today. She's my publicist, but she's also become such a good friend. And honestly, knowing you is the greatest thing ever. Well, thank you. It really is. I know. I had thought the same thing about you. No, at first you thought it was going to be difficult. I didn't think you were going to be difficult. I respected your like...

You were like, I don't mess with you. And I was like, okay. Like, I always tell people that. But I think I have more respect for that than someone's like, oh, my God, I love you. Yeah, because you don't know who to trust in situations. Literally, you, like, looked me up and down. You're like, hi. Hi, nice to meet you. It wasn't mean. It was just like you were like, I don't mess with you. I don't mess with you. That's amazing. Yeah. Okay, so how

long ago was it that we met it was a I was thinking about it it was a year ago last month no it was like October 1st yeah that is crazy and then you just moved to Nashville I did back in August okay and I like it it's it's so interesting so I'm from Arkansas so I don't feel like and my dad lived in Memphis forever so we're in Arkansas Little Rock so I wonder how far that is from Tyler

Because you know, Tyler, my hair. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I know. Well, we talked about this and I can't remember. I think it's like an hour and a half. Okay. So, I mean, Arkansans, you like to surround yourself with Arkansans. But yeah, so I wasn't like new to Tennessee, but I like it. I think it's fun. It never sleeps though. I've learned that. It never, like on Sundays, I'm like, I want to refresh. I want to get. Oh, no, that's Sunday fun day. No, people are like, what are you doing? You want to go get a cocktail? I'm like, bro, I'm trying to like.

grocery shop and like set my week up. I can't, I did it. Well, I did a Sunday with you. Yes. And then I paid for it all day Monday. And then I've like had other people try to do it. And I'm just like, when do you all sleep here? That was also the funny thing was because you had just moved to Nashville and I was like, let's go do something fun. I'll show you different parts. So we went to Franklin and you, who was,

who was it? You and Tyler. Tyler. Y'all were in the car with me and y'all were like, you were like, I, I think I heard a new octave of Tyler's voice. He's like, Savannah, Savannah, Savannah.

to be finally like I just stopped yeah I just I just prayed my way through it I feel like that was my official like Nashville initiation like that Sunday it was pretty great because you saw places that probably you wouldn't have gone oh well I went it was Leaper's Fork right yeah and like I went back there with someone else they were scouting for like a thing they had to do and I was like I've been here they were like you just moved here when have you been here I was like what

Savannah. So yeah. That's amazing. Okay so with being jumping into being a publicist when did you start? I started back gosh I feel like with like the pandemic and stuff I have lost track of time. I think it was like 2017. Okay. 2018. I'd been I did like journalism and like PR in college and stuff and I thought I wanted to be in front of the camera and then I was like no thank you. I want to be behind which I

I don't mind it, but it really helped because I like learned what journalists need and things like that. So that's one little compliment I get from a lot of people I work with. They're like, you actually care what we need. I'm like, yeah, like it's a partnership. Exactly. So I started back then I was doing product PR. So like I was, I was pitching interviews.

for, you know, placements for that. Then I started kind of dabbling into working with reality stars and things like that because I was bored. I was like, I need to know everything. I need to know, like, I think I've dabbled in pretty much everything. I haven't touched sports, which I don't think I ever will. I mean, why? I think it can be fun, but it's just like,

I don't know. I say I never will. I'll never say never. I probably would love to. But I love all PR. But I think the big thing is I like working with people that are like, there's a good story to tell. And because I'm the bridge. So like I'm the one on the day that something is going live. Like I'm probably more excited than the person that it's like going live about. Cause I'm like, wow.

I know. Well, it's like we did what? Those phoners that day? Yeah, I was pumped. I was like sitting over there like. Pumped. And I was like, oh shoot, I'm so sorry. I forgot I'm in the grocery store. That was probably one of my favorite moments. Like anytime I ever have a client that's like, I can't do it. I'm like, listen, I had someone do one in the grocery store. Yes, you can. Like you're like sitting there. You're like, I'm so sorry. I know this sounds weird, but I'm like checking out at the grocery store. Like it was the best opener ever.

I forgot what I was doing that day. But whenever I do everything by myself, I'm like, well, I have to work. I have to go to the grocery store. I have to take care of the kids, whatever. So that was, that was pretty great. I love that mentality though. I'm like one, I've been like moving before and I've had my laptop like on a random like box desk that I've built. I'm like telling people to like move stuff around and I'm sending a pitch at the same time. Well, cause you always, that's my thing is when you have no other choice and too, it's like,

there's 24 hours in a day yeah so you gotta do it you've got to do it 100 so all right also too before we get going too far into it i need to clear up something oh gosh so everyone when that whole tmz which when that whole tmz article hit of me and robert at the zach bryan concert yeah

People are like, oh, do you guys not know? Celebrities plant these people there to get them. Like, she totally did this. Please clarify that. What happened when that broke? Which, it's funny. People do, but you didn't do that. No. And it's very... People don't do it as much as they used to. Yeah. Because now there's people everywhere. Like, so you literally text me. You're like, hey, who sent this? And I text my guy at TMZ and I'm like, hey...

what the heck like usually they're pretty good about like reaching out right before he was like I don't know let me find out and it was just submitted I think that's like I think people

I think people get excited about that too. Like TMZ, they're like, oh, I see someone. So someone probably saw you and was like, oh, I'm going to take a picture. What's funny is the person probably, the person that did it probably was like Savannah and like said something to you first and then waited until you turned around and did it. And two, I see the video and it's like, I'm looking right at the, I'm just like turned around and they're just videoing at the perfect time. Yeah. Because I was like, wait, I, cause I still wanted to like respect some like privacy and

who the heck did this? And I started thinking, I'm like, is it someone that I know that did it? Was it? I was like, we need to figure out who it was. And it was just like an anonymous source through their website. So I did not call TMZ on myself, nor did I call TMZ at the airport. Yeah. Which I don't think we've never called TMZ on you. No, I've never, never. I've like, I'm not, I,

Which also it's funny because I'm like, if we were going to do that, like not that you didn't look great, but I would have like done it up a little bit more. Like I would have been like, okay, lighting. Okay, cool. Let's make sure Zach Bryan's like directly in the back. Like let's get up. Cause also I would be like, let's get a better picture of Robert. Let's clear up the like the stored photo that everyone has of Robert. Yes, please. That kills me. He literally says all the time. He's like, what?

why do they insist on using my Falcons rookie photo? It's so bad. Of like, what, 10 years ago? I don't think you understand the part of me because I usually don't like go in comment sections and say anything because I feel like that's just like against everything. But every time I see someone being like, oh my gosh, he's so young. Like, what is she doing? I want to be like, this is old. This is old. They think you went to like the most like random young person was like, I'm going to date you.

Here we go. It's insane. Literally. I'm like, could you not? Now, luckily, there's a better picture of him walking through the airport. Thank God. That whole thing. I have that, literally, that picture in a Google Flutter on my laptop. And every time I'm like, you're going to write about her? Here you go. Here's this. Use this one. Because that whole thing. Well, I called you right after. I was dying.

You FaceTimed me and you were like... Because Robert's in the floorboard of the car. Because I was like, okay, who the hell keeps texting me? They have to be on my... Okay, so I have people on my favorites and it's the only time it vibrates. That's why I have no favorites. No one can get me when I'm on D&D. Yeah. What's... Okay. What did... I want you to read your favorites out loud. My favorites? Oh, I don't know. Meet your close friends. My favorites? Oh, gosh. My favorites...

Mom, dad, which don't need that anymore. Grayson, Nanny Faye, Nanny Pam, Papa Harvey, Chase, Chad, Chloe, Aaron. I guess you do need people to get through to you at sometimes. I have no one on my favorites. Mine is like the kids. That's really my biggest thing is the kids making sure that like, all right, it always rings. But yeah, no. So that the whole airport thing at LAX.

So first off, we weren't gonna fly together to LA. You remember that? Before that, you were like, you were like, I'm going to LA and Robert's coming, but I don't think it'll be an issue. And I'm like, uh-huh, okay. Yeah. And then...

He ended up flying to Nashville before. And we were like, oh, whatever. We'll just fly there. And like, I thought we were in the clear because like the LAX terminals had all changed. It was new. So I was like, oh, we're fine. And we're going down. And I immediately see someone with a camera. And like, I'm standing in front of him. And he had like his arm around me. And I was like, oh, I saw the photo. It looks like I went like literally. I said, you go right. I go left. Literally.

And he did. And luckily the TMZ guy like didn't see his hands on me, I guess. And so he was like, oh, who is that? I was like, I don't know. Just someone I met on the plane. It was so funny. Have you ever seen that like gif of the little boy that's like, like looking around? Like that was you. That was you in that interview. You were like, I don't know. I don't.

He was like, you want me to get his number for you? And literally followed me all the way to the car. And I was like, I'm good. But the best part of the whole thing was, and it goes to show you that Robert has no idea about this world. He gets my bags off of the baggage carousel. So I'm standing there waiting for my back to backs to come down as a TMZ guys talking. And I'm like, well, my bags are now gone. That's when you're like, he looks cute. He's a gentleman too. I'll have to meet him outside the airport. Yeah.

I was so shocked by that. I, those photos were hilarious of him. Like, like that's a ride or die. He's like literally laying in the, he's such a good sport though. I will say that like there has, he's been such a good sport about it, but we need a new photo. Yeah, we do. We need a new photo. Like you have enough kids. We don't need you to like have another. Yeah.

Because I'm like, guys, it's 10 years ago. He is 38 years old. He is not a child. Like I'm going up in age. I'm not going down. Not going down. Well, technically I'm kind of making my way down, but it's fine. It's fine. Okay. So we've cleared that up. Being a publicist, what is your favorite thing? And what's your least favorite thing?

It sounds cliche, but my favorite thing is the connections. Like I have met some of the best people through being a publicist. Like I think back to when I started to now and like, even though I always say to be a publicist, you have to love it or else you're a glutton for punishment. Like, because you don't stop. Like you, like I can never turn my brain off. And so yeah,

I think the people are like what make it great because when I like make something come to fruition or like the day we did, even though we were talking about like nothing that like just the show, like when you went on the show, I was like, you go girl. Like I was so excited about it because, or like anytime like you're able to tell your story, like that stuff makes me so excited. I worked with like, I also work with like restaurants in Texas and like some of their stories, like being able to tell those, that makes me excited. My least favorite part about PR, I think is,

I don't know if there's like a part that I truly, truly dislike. I think there's a lot of misconceptions about it. And so like I am consistently struggling to like educate people on it because there's so that's what it is. Because there's so many people in the industry that just take people's money and they don't care about the people's stories. They don't care about like what they're doing with it. So it makes it hard for the people that do.

because they don't care if it's the truth or not. They don't care if it's the truth. They don't care if it looks good. They don't care if they're doing it ethically. Well, we've talked about that before because like even when I was doing interviews, like I even myself called someone out for like not being

Getting every side and not putting the truth out there and not, and that's the hardest part is like reading these things and you're like, okay, this isn't the truth, but people that read it. Oh, they believe every word of it. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, especially like a headline, like people half the time read a headline and don't click into the story. My favorite thing are not all heroes wear capes, but the heroes are the ones in the comments that'll be like, take,

they'll go like in a segment and they'll take it out and they'll put it in there in the comments of like, this is what the story actually says. So the people, they don't go into the actual link. It's still under there. People still don't read, but I know people really don't. And they just take it for what it is. And I'm like, it frustrates the heck out of me. Yeah. Like, and would you say, I'm trying to figure out the best way to word it. Would,

Do you ever get caught between like a rock and a hard place when someone, when a client wants you to do something that, you know, like, uh, I probably shouldn't do this. Yes. But the one thing I've,

Basically, like when I meet with a client before I even take them on, I say I will not do anything unethical. Yeah, I was and I'm very upfront. Like even if someone came like, OK, I was excited to work with you. But like even if you came to me and you were like, Alexa, I want you to do this, this and this. I would tell you I'm not your publicist. And not everyone operates that way. But like I just I.

personally cannot. So like if someone were to come to me and ask me to blatantly like submit information that's not true. Yeah. You can bend the truth but like

like blatantly not true. I couldn't do it. Well, because it hurts people at the end of the day. Well, and also too, like you have to think about as a publicist, your career and not every publicist would agree with this, but let's say I'm working with a journalist and I'm giving them a lie. I'm putting their job on the line technically, because like if I'm telling them this is correct and then they were to publish it and then someone were to sue them,

And then I want to go down two years down the line. I'm not working with that person anymore. And I want to work with them. That writer is not going to want to work with me again. And too though, but I've also said that,

So you have publicists that do that, that are just, that will straight up lie just to create a narrative. But then you also have journalists who I say journalism isn't journalism anymore. No, it's not. I just did a podcast with Julie Chen Moonves and she said the exact same thing. Like back in the day when she started, she was like, journalism was journalism. And now...

I mean, it's journalism just isn't journalism anymore. No one's held accountable for anything that they say or do. And I even said, I was like, there needs to be like laws in place for these people. So they can't just go out here and put straight up lies out in the media because all that does is create a public issue.

misconception and opinion on something that isn't true. Yeah, it's crazy. And that's a part that I think a lot of people don't understand. There's a lot of times where my hands are tied and I record all my interviews with my clients. So if anyone were to come back and be like,

hey she said this I'm like no she didn't here's the recording so you know it's a weird give and take I try to too also work with I can't always but I try to work with journalists that I believe are on the same moral wavelength that I am and the ones that aren't I'm friendly with them but

but I also will call them on it. I'm like, there's been multiple times where via text, I've been like, you know, that's not true. And they're like, oh, I know. And I'm like- I feel like there was something that came out, me one time, and we were like- And you said this all the time. Yeah, and you're like, that's like, you know, that's not true. Yeah, I like, well, I told a writer one time, I was like, you make my job so hard. And they were like, I know. And I'm like, why? Like, how do you sleep at night? Like, why? This episode of Unlocked is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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Yeah. I mean, all the time, like I had someone recently reach out to me and they were like, is Savannah pregnant? And I was like, no. And they were like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, she's not. I was like, and even if she was like...

it's none of your business. Like, why are we writing about that? Like, it's just weird and it gets disgusting. And I just like, I know that's my thing too. Also, let's just say like, if I was like, I would put it out there. Yeah. Like, you're pretty upfront. Yeah. Like I would put it out there and too, because to me, I'm like, that's nothing to hide. Like why hide it when it's like one of the greatest gifts in the world. I'm like, no, if I was y'all would know about it every step of the way. Yeah, exactly. Like, and yeah, trust me, I've got,

enough kids running in my circle right now. I am good. I mean, you're dating a youngin, so we don't need any more. We're going to love that because I don't even think he knows that people think he's a youngin. They literally think you're robbing the cradle.

And I've had like people like because that's another thing that's hard as a publicist, too, is like I tried. I also try to stay very like like when my clients tell me something, it's not like the conversation at my next girl's night. Like people try. And I'm like, yeah, no, like not going to talk about it. But like people will be like, oh, my God, he's so young. I'm like, did you not click the damn article? Like, come on. Like I'm like, he's not. But there's no other pictures of him. And I literally like not anywhere.

Even his Instagram. Oh my. There's not even. No. It's always like, like it's photos of his kids or it's from him, like him from behind. And I'm like, could you not have posted a good photo? I remember the morning that like that story broke and it was the picture of him. I was like, my heart dropped to my butt. Like I was like, oh my God, she's going to be mad. And I'm like, wait, it has no other photos. This is what we have to work with. I think I said.

I texted you and I was like, the photo is unfortunate, but we're going to deal with it. I was like, oh, that was a little harsh. No, he even Grayson, like my Grayson, dies laughing because he's like, I'm going to have his falcons.

like rookie photo put on a t-shirt and why was he not that for halloween that's what i want to know oh missed opportunity literally missed opportunity i'm like that trust me there were some funny ideas floating around for halloween but i feel like they all would have landed us in hot water so just like never mind thank goodness thank goodness no we're just not going to oh my gosh yeah so see people are finally getting like an inside to the world of pr and hollywood because there's

people think like y'all first off i do like a little bit of privacy it's like i'm not gonna call people on myself if something gets out it gets out but like i'm just not that type and too my thing is if i want something out there i'm just gonna put it on my own social media like why would i not why would i give a article like the views when i could get them myself that's one thing i personally really love about you i i think and i mean that's a good approach like i always tell people though too like

the truth is going to make you feel so much more free. And I get there's some stuff that people want to keep private, but like just being upfront about it, we can control the narrative. And I say that in a way like control the narrative, like highlight the good things. Cause I think that term also has a bad rap. Like controlling narrative isn't always bad. It's more like, let's put some good out there instead of like the one thing that like, anytime that I'm always telling people with you, like, yeah, you've got your relationship, you've got these other things, but you're also doing so many amazing things like business wise that I'm always like, can we focus

on this for like 90% of the thing because I think about it too. Like younger girls, like reading these things, like let's, let's boost them with some like business stuff instead of just like, she's dating this person and nothing is that, but I'm like, I don't know. I try it. That's the stuff I get excited about. Like I want to put the right stuff into the media. 100%. And that's for me. It's like, that's the hard part is because I hate, honestly, it's like a love hate relationship with the media because I

Another thing that happened. And you remember I was texting you and I was like, dear God, can they not change the headlines of when Nick passed away? And it was Savannah Chrisley's ex. And I straight up said like, this is not okay. Like call him by his name. But like even that whole thing, I got so much hate and I'm like, I can't control it. I didn't write these.

that was probably my hardest moment with you and you and I haven't talked about this, but like, I wanted to defend you so bad because I was like, you were calling me. Like I knew what kind of like state you were in. And then people are saying, they're acting like you're over there in your house, just like masterminding. Like, Oh, I'm going to make sure that this is the headline. And I'm like,

You're disgusting. It is. The whole thing. And even like me, first off, you know the world of PR. I was damned if I do, damned if I don't with posting about Nick. Like it was either which way it would go. I was...

I would have been screwed either way. Like I would have, I would have been the bad person either way. Yeah. But then for me personally, like what a lot of people don't know, which maybe Nick and I did talk about it publicly at one point, but like social media was one of our biggest arguments. Oh really? One of our biggest arguments. And we both use social media in a way to like get back at the other, because we had an up and down relationship, but it was always, well, like,

We're not posting enough. We're not. So I laughed because in a way it was a joke between he and I, I was like, hell would freeze over before I did not post about him. You know, like it was our personal thing. And the fact that the media turns something so tragic into this big thing and

And not even calling him by his name. I was like, this is so screwed up. And if I was his family, I would be pissed off. Like he had a life outside of...

And so that was the hardest part too, that I'm like, this is so wrong. And I'm not sitting over here masterminding, trying to get clicks. I mean, other people spoke about it that had nothing to do with it just to get people to listen to it. And I'm like, I'm not, this was my life for five years. - Well, and I think too, those moments are hard because people forget you're human. Let's say that you have no publicity. You're not who you are and an ex of yours passes away.

You're going to post like you see it on Facebook all the time. That was the thing was like he and I had both moved on. Like we had both moved on. Yeah. But the fact that like it doesn't take away from five years. Right. It doesn't take away from we experienced major life changing moments together. And so and of course, you're going to. This is why I tell people all the time now after this, like.

Regrets are real. And when something happens to someone, it's going to come up and you're going to say, I wish I would have done this differently. I wish I would have done that differently. Like it happens. So be careful in the moment of like how you react to things. Right. But that whole thing, I was just, that's it. It solidified my hatred for media. It was, it was rough, which was funny though, because I was getting a lot of texts from people like,

saying like, please send my condolences. And then some people actually really loved that you, we didn't release a statement. You posted it on your Instagram because it came directly from you. So, I mean, even though they didn't post it, I did get texts of people saying that. I was like, thanks. Can you incorporate that into your article? Yeah.

it's all a business they're trying to get clicks like that's literally what and it's become even more now where it's like even more cutthroat because like I feel so bad for my journalist friends because people are getting laid off like mass layoffs because their articles aren't performing it's just like it's cutthroat it's sad yeah it's not fun the whole thing is sad but now okay so transition because now I feel like people have an idea yeah PR yeah and how it works and that we're not planting people at Zach Bryant we are not hell if we went

someone I would have gone to the Zach Bryan concert, but like put on a wig, been like, I don't know her. Let me submit this. - Yeah, like let me get a photo or two. It's just so crazy. But now going to like a personal level, 'cause it is something that we talked about. Like your life, besides being a great,

person in PR like you really are great at what you do but you're an awesome person well thank you and I feel like through watching your social media like there's so many times that I will like look at your stories and I learned so much well thank you about just like how to be as a person and how to respond to things and how not to respond to things yeah and

I said, what, what this year? So in October it was 10 years since your mom passed away and you posted about it. And I just remember I was having just like a crappy day. And I was like, okay. I was like, really? My life's not that bad. You know, and not to compare. I know people have this big thing about comparing people's trauma and stuff.

seeing other people's for me it puts into perspective mine yeah you know and I was like at least I still get to like speak to my mom yeah I get to even though she's not here I still get to speak to her well seen it's funny you say that because like I compare it where like in the time where sometimes and not everyone agrees with me on this and anytime I ever mention it people like roast me in my DMs and I'm like come on now yeah but like

what you're going through would be harder for me because my, like you're living in the gray every single day. Like you have someone that you, you love and it's, it's your parents and they're, they're here, but they're not mine. It's like, and I've, I've spent all 10 years or I guess like eight of those years in therapy. Like I, I,

she's gone and it's like a period on it and I can like work on my healing. I always say to like, my heart goes out to people who their parents have like cancer and it's, they're literally sitting there. You're grieving them slowly. Yeah. There was a girl on tech talk and she was actually in Austin and her mom was, was about to die and she had cancer and she was talking about how she was grieving literally up until she died. I'm getting chills talking about it, but like it, I,

I saw that and I was like, oh no. But I remember when my mom died, cause my mom died in a car accident. I was like, this is the worst way to ever lose someone. And I think now something that like I've learned since then is like, there are other ways, but then people play that comparison game. I think the thing that's interesting with the comparison though, is it brings people together because it's like able, like when you said that it was interesting. Cause I was like, oh, okay. Like God's using me to kind of like shine some light on that. And I was like, okay, cool.

cool like because that was another thing whenever I lost my mom is I was like my faith grew a lot it was hard for the first year but it grew a lot and people were like how I remember I got a comment and they were like how can you say God is good if he just took your mom and I was like I don't look at it that way I think like things happen yeah and God gives me the strength to get through it but would you say you've

did you go through an anger phase? - Oh yeah. - 'Cause that's what I say with mom and dad. Like I went through a really angry phase. - Well, it was hard. So like my mom was, and I've been very open about this. My mom was an alcoholic. And so the night that she died, she was drinking. She had checked herself. She was trying to check herself into rehab and she got spooked and she pulled the car out and then pulled out onto interstate and it was raining and she hit another car. And I remember being, when I got the call,

How old were you? I was 22. I just turned 22. Okay. So I got the call and at the point my mom and I were kind of in this, which it's so funny to me because at 22 I was sitting there telling my mom like, like, I don't think I can have you in my kids lives. And I have kids. I'm sitting here still at now like 32 and I'm like, I don't,

I don't have kids yet, but I was like so dead on that right then. And it sucks because the last thing I said to my mom on the phone was call me when you check yourself into rehab. And so I was very angry because I was like, that's last. We talk about regrets like that was the last thing I said. And I remember

the police officers called me from my mom's phone and I answered and they were like, hi, your mom has been in an accident. She's okay. Which I was angry about that because she said she was okay, but she died on impact. They were like, she's okay. And we just need you to come to the hospital. And so I, my dad and I went and I saw them carrying around a bag with her stuff in it. And I just knew I was like,

Okay. So I, after that, I did go through an anger phase. I remember that right after she died, I said, I won't make it a year. I didn't think I would make it a year. So making it 10 years, I was, and I never told anyone that when I was going through it, I remember I would never told anyone that I was like, I'm so depressed. I don't think I can do this. Yeah. And then I made,

So on the 10 years I was, and it was funny 'cause 10 years, I tell people, 'cause people reach out to me about grief all the time. - I'm like over here trying not to cry. - People like talk about grief all the time. It's not linear. Like there's been some years where I've been so sad. There's been some years where I've been okay. On the 10 years, I was like, I was fine. Like I was celebrating my mom that day.

And so I wasn't sad. Like I went out. My big thing was we used to go get coffee all the time. So I always go out to her. She was cremated. And so I always go out to her little, I called her locker, but it's like the thing, like the wall. I don't know what it's called. Like a mausoleum. Yes. And so I go out there and I have coffee and I sit there and I talk to her and then it's like five minutes and then I go. And like, that's the thing. But I have my things with her, but I did go through an anger phase. I remember I

I was angry with her for leaving me because like her, which there were so many crazy things like a month before she died.

here in the car when you're talking about if someone were to die she's like I want to be cremated and I want my organs donated and I was like no I'm not doing that that's insane because I think it'd be cool if like my eyes got donated I was like I don't think they can do that well a month after she died I got called and well two weeks after she got called and her toxic toxicology report she was at 1.43 which is like so high but it's it spells out like I love you and I was like

What the hell? I'm so mad. Like you shouldn't have left me. And then a month after I get a call and they're like, hi, like they were like, we wanted to call and let you know what organs were donated. And I was like, okay, like not thinking. And I was having a crappy day that day. The only things they could donate were her irises and like a graph. So her eyes got donated. So the one thing she wanted got donated.

And I was that it gives me chills. Yeah. So I mean, like, so I was angry, but there were things like that, that like gave you signs. Yes. And so I just grew from that. I also like through social media, I've been very open about my grief journey. It's funny. I have so many supportive people, but like,

people are uncomfortable with grief. So anytime I share, I've always shared the good, bad, ugly on my socials. And some people are like, are you sure you want to share that? But the messages I have gotten, I got a message two weeks ago and someone was like,

my mom just died and I have watched your social media since your mom died and I didn't understand it and now I get it she's like I don't know how you did this and she was like please just give me something like some words of wisdom I said you're gonna get through it I said you don't want to hear that right now but you will and I think that's the thing like I say my mom had her demons I don't think and I told my best friend this last week my mom had her demons I don't think

we would have had a relationship had she stayed the whole time. I think God made me her daughter saying, Hey, I'm going to give you her for 22 years. And then after that, you're going to use this. What is it? They say, make your breaking your breakthrough or something like that. Like your mess, your message. Like I have done so much work to just like spread that awareness and also in like mental health. Like, I think that's a big thing too. So I,

A lot of people hate that I said that, but I think things happen the way it was supposed to. And the minute I realized that... I say that and I say, it's like you said, the month before she died, like she had said these things. This is what I would want. And...

I feel like God puts it on your heart and your spirit like not saying that you know you're going to die right but something comes over you and you just start acting in certain ways and doing certain things like I even said that about Nick like just things I had found out after that he had said or done like a week prior just what he had said to his orthodontist and like it was things that have come out that I'm like I feel

Like he knew. Yeah. There's, I think I was telling someone recently, a friend, cause we were talking about God and relationships with God. And, and I, it's funny, my relationship with God, I want to work on it better when things are going well, but when they're going bad, that's when I, my strength is there the most. Like that's where my faith is. Cause I'm like,

I couldn't get through it without him. Like, I mean, obviously like therapy and friends and all that stuff. But like, I, I have those moments where things happen or like that text you sent me of the friend that had, it was the crepes. And you shared that on your Instagram. I don't know. And not judging people who don't believe, but like, I don't know how you can see things like that and not think there's a God. Like those are those things. Don't just like when you sent that the morning, I was like, okay, good. Like you're, you're getting them. Like, so I think I did have those anger moments, but yeah,

I've learned so much since then. And it's weird. I took my, something a friend told me after her mom died, like six months before she was like, your relationship changes with their like spirit. And I have such a strong relationship with my mom now. And that probably sounds so weird, but being older, I do things that she did. Like my mom used to say like sweet girl all the time. And I'll be like, I'll be like, Oh, sweet girl.

of your like little little kids and I'm like my mom like yeah things like that or like I'll make a I'll make a face and I'm like oh that was my mom like different things and I've learned to appreciate that so it's grown it's grown deeper well yeah and like you said grief people are so uncomfortable with so uncomfortable so uncomfortable with and it's just even

And I think because, you know, I always want to respect like Nick and his family and those things. But like, I also have my own feelings that I'm dealing with and trying to do it the right way. And I look back and I'm like...

I really wish I, and if this is like advice to anyone right now, it's like, I look back with Nick and I'm like, I wish I wouldn't have said this, this, and this on my podcast. I wish I wouldn't have, you know, I wish I would have kept my feelings to myself. But unfortunately we all go through very immature phases of hurt. And we're like, oh, well, we just want our truth to be known or we want to fight back or whatever it may be. And then I was like, you know what? Once I,

I mean, I found out and I was on a flight like when I found out and I was devastated. Now my process in it is like even now I'm like, I don't even want to believe that he's gone. Like I'm in a phase where it's like stuff will happen. I'll be like what? Like the other day I saw someone walking and it looked just like Nick from behind, just like him. And I was like, it put me in such a funk that day because I was like,

your mind plays tricks on you and like I say grief is like the worst thing ever and I've never had to deal with like losing someone so close to me right and trying to figure out how to deal with it and how to navigate it there is no perfect way to do it no there there's not one and something that works for me I tell people may not work for someone else like and also to the thing about saying things before doing these before I

no one's perfect. Like there were so many mean things I said to my mom right before she died. So many things. But then right after, like, I didn't say it going, oh,

she's gonna die i mean i think it's a lesson to think about how we treat people but i also think it's a lesson of giving people grace because you you don't know and and i think that's that's the moment is when you get after the fact and you realize you're like i wish i hadn't said that i wish i'd done that i think that's the moment people need to pay attention to not crucifying people for what they said before

So that's what I say is giving people grace. Like people act out of hurt all the time. We never think anything's going to happen. Right. We just think like people live forever and it's, it's the old people that pass away. Like it's not the young ones. Right. When, and then when it happens to you, you're like, Oh wow. Yeah. Like this, like I looked at it and I was like, Whoa, I was like, I need to, and love Nick to death. And he was like so organized. So it was like,

He had everything in place that he needed to have in place. But like... And it made me laugh too because you have to find humor in things. Oh, yeah. And like... He was so anal about everything. And I'm like, I need to be more organized like Nick. You know? Like, I need to do this. I... And I just... It's grief. I'm like, it sucks. And so when I watch like your social media and things that you say, I'm like, all right. That helps. Yeah. You know, it helps. Because I could... I mean...

It's yeah. Yeah. It's it's hard. And I think I always tell people when they reach out, I'm like, I hate that you've joined this club, but I'm here if you need to talk like I would never wish someone into it. But when it happens, I'm like, OK, like I feel like people understand me more and understand how I move better when they go through it. But I hate that they have to go through it.

It's one of those things that like you don't know until you go through it. No, I mean, before I lost my mom, I genuinely like people would do things. I'm like, why are they doing that? Like, I wouldn't understand. And then now I'm like, okay, I get it. I also have learned that people like we've said, like people go through it differently. So I learned to not judge people during that. And then also too, I've learned anytime I have someone lose someone, I'm usually a little bit like,

not the one to like jump first and talk to them because I wait till the dust settles. Because I remember my best friend and I had like a falling out before my mom died. Like, and she was there for me, like when the dust settled. And I remember that was when I needed, like, I was so thankful for the people that were there for the funeral and whatever, but it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then it's quiet. And you, during that time, did you really see, um,

Because I know for me, when everything happened with Nick, I saw there were people that shocked me that like didn't show up for me. That it really hurt when the dust settled. It really hurt. Yeah. And then there were people who showed up for me that I was like, wow. Yeah. I think you see people's true colors. I think there's also a point where I've learned that some people just don't know what to say. Yeah.

And, but I've learned it now. Like my favorite thing is like when it's like the day that my mom's passed on like the anniversary, I have some people that reach out every year. I never talk to them during the year. They'll send me one text. It's like a heart or something. It means so much. And I think like, that's the stuff. So like during that process, I did have people show up, but then there's also the people that show up just for the fact that something tragic is happening and they want to attach to it. I never fully understand those people, but then it's,

It's the people I can tell really, really care and they're trying to make it better. And I also really love people that will come to me and they're like, I don't know what to say, but I just want you to know I'm here. That I'm like, you don't have to have the right words. I think that's what catches people up is a lot of people are afraid they're going to say the wrong thing, which for me, I don't know about you, but like if someone...

anyone that told me at that point to be strong or that she's in a better place yeah I wanted to punch them like I was just like that's not don't say that to people like at that point it's okay if you're not strong like it's okay if you're crying it's okay be strong that is that people mean well yeah but I'm like no and I'm the and I've had some people be upset with me before because they'll say that someone and I'm like and I'm like no they don't have to be strong right now like so

stop. Yeah. That's not, no, that's the toughest part is the be strong. Now it's like in my whole process, I was like, I was watching the world around me and I'm like, I was like, Nick is looking down and he is like, what in the heck is going on? You know? Because I knew, I think because I'm so strong in my face that I'm like,

he's in a way better place than any of us right yeah you know but a lot of people aren't in that place like yeah they don't want to hear it no and i think if you come to that conclusion on your own i think that's great whenever someone's like when you feel like you've had something robbed from you and then they're saying that the place that that person is is better you're like but wait i want them here with me yeah so that part i remember that day though robert called me and he's like

"What do we do for Savannah?" I'm trying to figure out, I'm like, "I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out." We'll test out, I was like, "I've never been through something with her like this, but we'll figure it out." - One, that was a big thing too was

I think really when like me and Robert's relationship took a turn was that event. Oh yeah. And that was the thing was people were like, and that's what I mean by like Nick and I had both moved on. Like he was dating people. Like I was dating someone and the way that he handled that, I was just like, wow, like that is a man. That's...

Yeah. Because he immediately reached out to you. Yeah. Oh, he was like, I remember I was in Austin. I was taking a nap. My phone starts going off and I'm like, what is going on? Like texts, everything. And then he calls and I was like, I don't know, but we'll figure it out. Like, but I think that's too, you also, I think get a deeper level of appreciation for some people during those times because you see a different side because I think we all know that people

people can act not so great during those times too. Oh yeah. And I think the biggest thing I will never forget because I had found out on my flight and luckily I was the one that got to tell dad. Yeah. Like he found out from me because I was going to visit him. And when I got there, like, I mean, I was in tears, like I was a mess and dad automatically, he was like, what's wrong? What's wrong? And I got to tell him, but then Robert that day was like,

That night he was like, I want you to know, like, I love you. I'm here for you. However, you need me to be here for you. Like, if you don't want me here for you. Great. Yeah. If you do great. If it's if I need to send you food, if I need to do like it was anything. And I.

He made sure, like, I mean, I will never, I'm like, it's those moments that you're like, whoa, that like that Sunday he came and got me from visiting dad and like took me and the kids home, made sure we got home safe and then left. Oh, I said he was a good one. Like when he called me and he was like, I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Just let me know. I was like, I got a phone. I was like, that's a good one. Okay, cool.

And that was the thing. And I was like, the fact that you can respect. And he even said to me, he was like, I, all I want to do, like, I just want to pray for Nick. I want to pray for his family. I want to pray for you. And I was like, that is someone you want to be with. And the fact that you can respect that,

The five years that I had with him and him as a person. And he even told me, he was like, Hey, I wasn't your first love. You weren't mine. Like it's, it's, I get it. And I was like, Oh, whoa, that's a man. Yeah. Like it's too hot to die. That has gone like viral. Oh, I know. I know. John Chris, like sent me a screenshot of the views on his thing. And he was like,

thank you thank you and that was hilarious and that was another thing too it's like I some people are like oh my god why would you say that I'm like guys it's a joke calm down like I use humor at times that like maybe I shouldn't iconic slide in so the people that think that that's bad like they need something in their life exactly they do okay also too before we wrap up yeah

for people that have followed you on social media because you have a good social media following yeah for people that have followed you they've been through like your ups and downs too relationship wise yeah so now like you're happy in a relationship and it's great yeah but for people that like you said you're 32 yeah and so for people that are like oh my god it's too late or like I'm already in my 30s I'm not gonna find anyone how do you like what's your response I'm

I think you will. I would say don't force it. I would say that life someone said something. They were like, you're either in love or you're traumatized. One of my clients shared a text and I was like, oh my gosh, you're either in love or you're traumatized. Life is too damn short to be with someone that you're just settling for. Current boyfriend, we literally could not figure it out for like, we've been friends forever and we were just never on the same page. Now that we are on the same page, I am like,

so disgustingly in love with that man that I'm just like it makes sense like it's easy and I think like it's easy but almost to the point where I'm like all the time I'm like are you sure you like me I know but that's because you've gone through so much trauma and that's what I tell people it's like

I've gone through so much trauma that like, even when it's really good, I'm like, are we sure? Are we sure? Right. And I think that's the interesting part. So I think like definitely work on yourself. I know people hate hearing that, but literally work on yourself so that you're so comfortable in your own company that when you have someone else, they're just adding on. They're not because I've been in the relationships where they've been part of me to the point that when they left, I had nothing. And that's an unhealthy place to be. Yes. And so I bet I feel like we've all been.

all been there at some point in our life to where we've allowed someone else to become our identity. And so I think just holding out because then once you get it, it's so sweet. And some people haven't.

have it earlier on and that's fine. And some people don't have it till later and that's fine too. Some people think they have it early on and then as you're like still trying to figure out they're gonna be getting divorced. And I can say that as a divorced person, like, you know, I'm sure when I was getting married at 22, people were like, I want her life. - And so how long were you married at that point? Like you got married at 22. - Yeah, or I got married at 23. I got engaged at 22. I was married for, I filed for divorce on our five year wedding anniversary.

Yeah. So it was, it was a bit, but we were together. We were separated for the last like year of that. So we were married for about four years. And what do you think the biggest, where it went wrong? Um, don't sleep with someone else. Oh yeah. That's, that's perfect. But I mean, no, I wish him the best. Like that's another thing. I wish him the best. He's with the girl that he was, I think he's meant to be with her. So I wish him the best. That's awesome though, that you've gotten to a place and to work.

Getting married... And I say this because I was engaged at 20. Yeah. 21. And like... Or maybe... Yeah, 20, I think. And like being...

- We were babies. - Yes, we were babies. - We were babies. - I think looking back and I've been through a lot of therapy for this and I'm sure his people like watch my stuff. So I'm sure someone will say, I don't mean any ill will, but like he and I had our purpose at that time. I think God brought us together at the time. I hate how it ended because I think it soured something that should have been so good. I wish he had come to me and said, Alexa, I'm not in this anymore. I want a divorce. That's how I wish it had ended. But when I look at it now,

We served our purpose. I've worked through it a lot and I realized he was my first love. I loved him, but we had our time and that's a box and I can cherish those moments. And I'm so thankful that he was there whenever my mom died. I'm so thankful that we were a part of each other's lives. And now I think he has a beautiful family and he's great. And a lot of people are like, how dare you be able to say that? But like, it does be no good hating them. No, and too, it's like that saying that like you're,

Your first love is a person that like you thought was your first love. Yeah. Your second is the one that you were really in love with, but it taught you a lot of lessons. It brought you hurt. It brought you so many different things. And then your third love is like,

That's the one. Yeah. Well, my boyfriend now, he was in our friend group. So had I not been married to him, I would have never met my now boyfriend. And like, so I just think about it that way. Like, I'm like, everything has a purpose. And I worked really hard. And, you know, I did the same thing. I went on a podcast years ago. It said all the bitter things that aired my dirty laundry. And I remember regretting that afterwards. But like, I...

I think it worked out perfectly. We were, I think sometimes you meet people and they serve the moments that they're supposed to. I think sometimes they can in sour obviously, but I'm able to look at it, cherish that time. And it did what did also, I was a baby to get married at 23. Like, yes, I remember one of my best friends, Blaine, when I got engaged, she was like, Savannah, I'm so happy for you. But then once the death settled, she was like, Savannah, you're going to be a completely different person. Yes.

then you are 20, 30, then you were at 25. She was like, you have to be 110% certain that like you can grow with this person that you're going to grow together. That like, because you're going to be a completely different person. And I will never forget that conversation that we had because it is the truth. You need a ride or die.

You do. Like literally, that's another thing I learned from that was just like finding a partner. And that's why I tell people like, don't worry. I know it's so hard. I know it's so hard when you get on Instagram and there's, you know, a promotion or an engagement or a baby or whatever. I get it's hard. But whenever you got your person, all that hard is going to be worth it. Like, yeah, there's too many. There's other thing. I'm such a quote person, but like there's too many ordinary things in life for your love life to not be extraordinary. And like,

wow. I love that. It's it's it's and I live by it because I'm like, why would I settle for something that's like and nothing? I think the people in my past have served their time, but I didn't feel like it was extraordinary. I think it was great at that time. And so now I'm just like, unless it's just like and you go through hard times, I get that. But unless I'm just like really excited to see you, I don't want it. I get excited to see my dog. Like, that's why I have her. Like, I love that. So that's amazing. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for

I literally just felt like this is I was so honored. You DM me and you were like, do you want to be on the podcast? I was like, wait, really? Yeah. I feel like people need a behind the scenes of everyday life, Hollywood, the ups and downs of PR and also life because you have so much to offer, like your story, even just sitting here and talking about grief with you. Like it was like a therapy session. I love it. Love you. You're a gem. Thank you.

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