Humor, Humility and Frozen Eggs (feat. Kaitlyn Bristowe) 01:06:17

Welcome back to Unlocked, guys. I'm so excited today. I mean, I say that every episode, but I have Caitlin Bristow on and she lives here in Nashville. You may know her from The Bachelorette season 11. Yep. Welcome. Thank you. I'm honestly, okay, I'm not going to lie. I'm like excited for this, but I was so nervous about it. What? Because I felt like such an asshole when I did your podcast. Why? Because I never posted about it and

And the reason I never posted about it was because I said something I wish I wouldn't have said. What? Really? Yes. And I felt like I've been so embarrassed. And so, like, I am so sorry. Oh, my gosh. First of all, I'm sorry. You can always just tell me if you wanted something taken out and I would have taken it right out. Well, it was...

It was like when I was in the middle of like my whole relationship thing with my ex and called off my engagement, all that. We were like back and forth. And I had said something about us at that time that made me remember. I just know it was something about the relationship part.

And I think in a way I was kind of trying to make it work with him, but I maybe told you like, no, I'm done. Oh, shoot. Yeah. So it was something of that nature. And then I just never posted about it. And I felt like such an asshole. No, you're forgiven. That's, it takes a lot to piss me off. And I don't think I even noticed you didn't post. So don't worry about it. Yeah.

But I get that. I felt so bad. There's so many times now where I look at the clip that I want to post to promote my podcast. Yeah. And I go, oh, they probably wouldn't want to repost that. And then I like try and like put something in where they would want to repost it. Because it's true. When I, when I'm an open book all the time, I say dumb things all the time where I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. And then they always use that as a clip. And I'm like, well, I don't want to share it. Yeah. No, you're like, no, I'm fine.

So I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. I have to clear the air about that because I was literally mortified. Oh my gosh, you're sweet. No. I was like, she's probably not going to want to do. I was like, oh, I had all these scenarios in my head. Nope. Didn't even realize you didn't do it and you're forgiven. Thank you. Okay. We've now since we're past that. Yeah, we're good. Okay. So Bachelorette. Yes. On season 11.

And we just said before we came on, I did. There was a time tour, like, I watched it religiously, like everyone else, I feel like. Yeah. And then it kind of just died off. Yeah. But who was on your season? Like, who was, like, the final? Ben Higgins. Okay. Yes. Nick Vile. Sean Booth. Yes. And Jared Haven. And you ended up with Sean. Yes. Okay. So how did that go down? Well, first of all, I...

It's so funny that those are the four guys because I'm like, I'm still friends with most of them. Who are you friends with? I'm friends with Ben, like really good friends with Ben. I'm friends with Nick. I'm friends with Jared. Well, also, I've got a bone to pick with Nick because he turned down my podcast. What? Yeah. Why? Exactly. Oh, that's interesting. Well...

That's okay. Yeah. He's a controversial guy, and I think that's okay. I consider myself to be controversial sometimes, too. But I wonder why. Did you call him out? Did you ask why? I haven't yet. Let's look him in the eyes right now. Yes. Why? Why, Nick? Why? Why did you? I don't know.

Well, you're still responsible for your team. Well, my team asks me all the time. Yes. And if I can't do it, there's a reason. But I don't, I usually don't just flat out say no unless I don't like someone. Yes, exactly. And I'm like, I don't know you. So if you don't like me, it's for a reason. Well, let's figure it out. Exactly. I know.

Okay, continue. So you're friends with Ben. Yes. Nick. Yes. And Jared. I'm friends with a lot of guys from my season. Clearly not Sean. Clearly not Sean. At this point, I probably would be just because so much time has passed. And I've now for the first time, I didn't see him for four years and we both live in Nashville. Which is crazy. Crazy. And now I've run into him a couple of times, but we still have yet to like say hello or anything. Really? Yeah. Did it end poorly?

Yeah. Yeah, it did. It was because you were engaged. Yeah, we were engaged. It was really too bad how it all went down because we you know, it just I felt like this guy does not want to marry me like that.

No, I didn't feel like it at all. And we just both were a little toxy and it just got to a point where I was like, this is unhealthy. And we decided to break up. And when we did, he moved out. And then at that point we were broken up. And so I was talking to Jason, but when I first talked to Jason and so many people that listen to my podcast are like, we know the story, Caitlin, but maybe I have new listeners here. But when we first started talking, it was,

He was actually like, he wanted to respect the boundaries and time that had passed. And I was like, I didn't even know he had a crush on me, to be honest with you at first. We were just talking as friends. And then we just kept talking and kept talking. And then Sean found out we were talking and was so mad at me. And I'm like, but we're broken up. So I know it sucks. But like at this point, you could honestly be talking to someone else too. And then two days later, he was all over the news with some girl in New York. And I was like, see?

it sucks but you can do it see that's the thing is I feel like I went through that same thing with my ex and it was like just because mine's maybe more public or maybe just because you know about mine yeah does it make

It's worse than you doing it silently. Right. Yeah. That's... I was... I wasn't even really like... I had not even crossed a line with Jason. Yeah. And we were... Sean and I were broken up. So for him to then go to New York and like publicly be with this girl and I was like, oh... Is he still with her? No, no, no, no, no. That was like a two week... So it wasn't even a good one. No, it was a two week thing. So... Oh, God. But again, this was all like four years ago. Yeah. And I...

I know people say this. They're like, I hope he's happy. I genuinely cared about him so much that I actually hope he's happy. No, 100%. I say that same thing. It's like, if I loved you, I will always love you. Now...

It doesn't mean I'm in love with you. Right. But if I loved you, I will always love you. Absolutely. It doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter. Like, we all screw up. We can all be toxic. Yeah. We can... But, like, I'll always love you. All my ex-boyfriends, all, like, 40 of them at this point, being the bachelorette. But I honestly, like, can feel some sort of gratitude for them in all types of ways. So when you say you knew he didn't want to marry you, what...

How did you know? What were the feelings? What would happen? Because I guarantee you there are a lot of people listening that have felt that way. Like, I want to be with this person, but I really don't.

think they want to be with me. Yeah. I started becoming like kind of, um, like really immature in the relationship where I was like having tantrums and feeling like almost desperate. And I was like, ew, what? Who am I? Why am I acting this way? And I realized it's because I was not getting something. And I was like, I don't know. I was acting like a child that was terrible. Um, and I realized it because I have a lot of tools in the belt. Um, and I was like, I need to go

see that family and people that ground me. So I went home to Canada and, uh, at a certain point I was like, I need you to come to Canada if we're going to work this out. Yeah. And he just wouldn't come. Really? Yeah. And I was like, okay, well he doesn't want to, you know, be here and he doesn't want to come see me or my family. And it was just too much of it. I don't want to fly out there and I don't want to do it. It just, it was just like kind of

Yeah. But I don't know. It just felt like everything I did annoyed him. It just felt, I don't know. It just, you could just tell. You can tell. And that's the thing. It's like when someone does kind things for you and they show up, you're like, okay, they really love me. Totally. So then when they're not doing those things, you're like, okay, maybe something's up. Something's not right with this. And I'm sure a lot of people can, maybe they don't want to admit it, but they can.

can say it to themselves that when you are in that position, you start to become a shell of yourself and you start to act like maybe your childlike self and resort to this like kind of behavior that you're not proud of. And I did that for way too long in another relationship. And so this time I was like, no, I don't deserve this. Yeah. I got to get out. Well, yeah. Cause I will say like, we've all been in that, whether it's

Heck, I know I resorted to like, okay, I'm going to like Instastalk all the people that like you followed or that. Like I'm going to go down the rabbit hole. And when you do that, you're robbing yourself of anything good. Yeah, exactly. You're just, you know, that that's, it's gone too far. There's obviously something wrong. Yeah. Figure it out for yourself. Dear God. So, okay. So y'all live in the same city and you've yet to speak. Would you? No.

Like bury the hatchet. If totally. Yeah. So why haven't you, if you've seen him, why haven't you gone up to it? It's just not the like, right. Um, I don't know. Scenario or environment. Like, I feel like.

He was at a restaurant that I was at. Yeah. He was like, I think he was on a date, I think. Oh. And I was with Jason and our friends. And, you know, at this point, too, because people even sent a message to Jason the other day saying, like, how do you feel that Caitlin's always talking about her exes on a podcast? And he's like, well, it's kind of the world she came from. And if I was The Bachelor, I'd have to talk about all my exes, too. Like, that's just, it is part of my life. Yeah. And especially...

people who know who I am know exactly who he is because we ended up together and now we live in the same city and people want to know what happened still. And so it's like, it's kind of just natural conversation, but it's just never been the right environment to be like, Hey, you want to talk about this? Like, I don't know. Can we bury the hatchet? I don't even know what I would say. Cause it,

I just want to be like, how's your dog? He's a cute golden dog. Oh my gosh. That's amazing. Well, and two,

Talking about your exes, that's been something that like if the person you're with raises a red flag about that. Right. That's like a red flag to me. Right. Because it shows that you're insecure. Yes. That you don't believe in this relationship as much as you should. Right. And we all get to where we're at because of our past experiences. I mean, Jason was on The Bachelorette. What season of The Bachelorette was he on? He was, oh, I don't even remember. Who was The Bachelorette? Becca Kufrin. Becca Kufrin.

Yes. Yeah. And he was like in her top three and he was like in love with her. And I mean, we talk about her all the time. We hang out with her all the time. Like we love her. Ever get in a healthy...

Yeah. And now someone that you know slept with the person you went with? They didn't sleep together. She sent him home before the fantasy suite. Oh, okay. But they definitely would have, and that still wouldn't have bothered me because I've been in that situation and I know what it's like. I know. And again, like 10 years ago, I wouldn't be able to say that. I've just done so much therapy.

And I just understand the weird and sexual world that is the Bachelor franchise. Yeah. That it doesn't, it really doesn't bother me. And I think I saw that that kind of blew up my relationship with Sean where like he couldn't get over things. And I'm like, it's just, you got to let those things go if you're going to have a healthy relationship. And I, we both let it go. Oh. Yeah. And too, so he's like in finance. Yeah. He's like-

In the smart world. Oh, he's a genius. He's so smart. Okay. And so does he live here in Nashville? Yeah, we live together. Okay. Yeah. And we kind of talked a little bit before. You're just kind of like taking your time with wedding stuff. Yeah. It's so bad because I have so many different thoughts on this. Yeah. On one side, I like get so...

kind of frustrated if it's a troll being like, clearly he doesn't want to marry you or you don't want to marry him or I get annoyed. But if it's genuine fans that have been just so, you know, invested in our relationship, I actually do feel bad because I'm like, I've opened up my world to them. They're just excited. And then, so when I say things like,

Yeah, we both are putting our careers first. And that might sound scary to some people or you might be like, oh, gosh, that's a red flag to us. We're like, well, we just haven't gotten there. And like it works for you. In our opinion, we probably will. And if we don't, that's really sad. But like, we probably will. Yeah. And so.

We, yeah, you know, I've thought about eloping. Jason's more of like a traditional wants a wedding. Yeah. But the more that we talk about it, the more we get asked, the more we look at wedding budgets. Yeah. The more we're like, maybe we do elope. It really is. It is. And it's really for everyone else. Yeah. And I just bought a Bronco, so I'm poor. Oh.

Yes. Bronco, which I am so jealous of because I have wanted it for years. Me too. It's been on my vision board since 2011. Wow.

That is amazing. Congratulations. You should print out a picture and put it in your mirror so you can see it every day. And then one day you'll have it and you'll be like, I'm broke too now. I'm broke too now. Yeah, literally. Literally. That's amazing. People actually, a couple of people got mad at me for flaunting a Bronco in this, you know, in this time in the world. And I was like, you know what? Yeah.

I am allowed to buy myself something nice. I am so frugal. Yeah. And...

You wouldn't get mad if I was flaunting a million dollar wedding if we, you know, but it's something I did for myself and I feel really proud of it. And too, as a woman and having a career of your own and being able to do that, it's like you shouldn't, I'm sorry, but you don't hold yourself back for anyone. No. And not to justify it even more, but I, my house was dirt cheap when I bought it and I'm like,

proud of how I've handled my finances. And so that was like a treat yourself, Caitlin. Yeah. And two, it's really, I'm sorry. It's an investment. It is. It's an investment. It's not one of those cars you drive off the lot and it goes down and it goes up. Yeah, it is. And it's just, you should never be made to feel bad about, that's my thing. It's like, if people are making you feel bad, that's their insecurity. There's like literally one person that made me feel bad. So many people were like, I'm so happy for you. So I need to shut up. It's the one comment that sticks though, which is sad, but it's the one comment that sticks. It's the worst.

Oh my gosh. Okay. So that is, you're just kind of like coasting your careers, which is awesome though. I do understand that that is kind of a problem. If you're not planning a wedding, it's just more like, I, it almost feels like we're children and we're like,

We're not going to do it then if everybody's going to ask about it. That's how it feels sometimes. I don't know. I love him. He loves me. We have a very good relationship. And yeah, I don't know. We've just been engaged for a hot minute. How long has it been? A year and a half. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's a hot minute. We have done little things for wedding planning here and there. Yeah.

I was really into it. We were really into wedding planning at the beginning. And I honestly think we were just a little turned off by people taking advantage of slapping the term wedding on something and then bumping up the price. And Jason plays so fair. And I think we just got annoyed. For sure. And too, the Bachelor franchise as a whole does not make that process easy. I don't feel like. Or like mentally, emotionally, just...

Because the majority of them don't last. Yeah. You know, so it's like there has to be a lot of pressure associated with that. Yeah. And so there was the other day, there was, or I guess like a week or two ago, there was an article that came out stating Caitlin Bristow, hence she and fiance Jason, I don't know how to say his last name. Tardik. Tardik, have uncomfortable conversations to prioritize growth. Yeah, we do.

That was a headline? Yes. No way. It was. I wonder where that came from. Does it say? Let's see. I'm trying to think of if it was from my podcast. You wrote on Instagram. Oh, that. On February 17th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy couples aren't just the ones posting kissing selfies. They're the ones having uncomfortable conversations, helping each other overcome trauma and ugly crying to save their relationship. Yeah. I really felt that because...

I'm not like, it's actually too bad. I'm really not a super affectionate person. I show love in many other ways and I'm just not kissy all over. Like I'm just not, I wish I was a little more. Does. Okay. And I say this out of my own personal experience. Yeah. I have not been that way because of my own trauma. Yeah.

So I've, I've looked into that. I did a whole week, um, in California at a inner child retreat where for seven days I did 13 to 15 hours of therapy a day and no phone, no computer, no books. So kind of like guys, what I've talked about with

On-site. Yeah. Have you gone on-site? Oh my gosh. Yes. It's like that, but I think a little heavier. Okay. So I have learned so much about myself and I don't

it's anything trauma for me. I think I just, well, okay. I should, I shouldn't lie. A small part of it probably is because I'm always scared I'm going to lose somebody. And the more I show love, the more I'm like letting myself be vulnerable and open. And the more chance I have of getting hurt. Yes. That is a small part. Yeah. Um, but I'm also just not an affectionate person. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So I think it's a little bit of both probably. Do you have you like, do you go out of your way to make yourself feel uncomfortable? Probably. To do it so that you get what I'm saying? Like, yeah. So that I can at least show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will find myself being like, gosh, I really should because Jason loves physical touch. So I should do

go out of my way to do that. And it's not like I'm like, to do it. Like, I'm just like, I have to remind myself to do it. It's not something that comes naturally. Yeah. Like I love showing him in so many other ways. That's what I was about to say. Whether it's like, give me a chance.

gift giving or acts of service. It's definitely acts of service. I love cooking for him, his favorite meals. I love, and we both do this for each other, waking up and like bringing the other person coffee in the morning. Like total, I love showing love in that way. I love writing. Like if I could write him a note or a card, um, I'm much better with

Actually, I'm terrible with words, saying them out loud, but I'm really good at writing them down. Yeah. And yeah, just stuff like, we're really thoughtful to each other. Okay. Yeah. But I'm just, yeah, I have a tough time being, so with that post and with us, I don't know, I guess I'm always kind of,

open about relationships not being perfect or me having ups and downs, anxiety, depression, happy times, sad times. So everyone was like speculating a breakup. And again, I get it because I don't post all the time. He's not posting all the time. We both have our own things going on. We're not planning a wedding. And so I was like, I get it. But I wanted to let people know, like, just because we're not making out on Instagram and doing like really cute kissing selfies, I'm

Doesn't mean we're not prioritizing our relationship in some way. We can still prioritize our work and we can prioritize ourselves and we can prioritize each other. And that's what we're doing. We're really working on ourselves and we are ugly crying through hard things and we are trying to like make things work because we want to. Exactly. And to that kind of like hits home for me in another area. Cause I remember with my ex,

I would get so pissed off. Yeah. Because we'd be like in the middle of like the worst fight ever. And then he would post some photo of us on Instagram and be all lovey-dovey. And I'm like, where the hell did this come from? I refuse to do that. Yeah. I was literally like...

where the hell did this come from? Like, we're not even speaking in person, but there's photos being posted. Yeah. See, and that's when, when, uh, Sean and I broke up, they're like, but look at all these photos. And I'm like, that doesn't mean that didn't happen. We didn't post them in our lowest moments. We posted them when we were feeling in love and those were real moments and that isn't fake. And same with like, that's,

With me and Jason, we don't. If we are in an argument and not feeling good, we're not going to go and post just because people are speculating. Yeah. We're going to post when we're in a good place. We're going to... I talk about on my podcast when we're not in a good place. Yeah. Like, it's just... I'm just... I like...

Honest. Transparency. And there is a line as well because some things should be kept private and some things people don't need to know. But what I want to share, I'm going to share. Exactly. And that line is hard to... It's very, yeah. Because you want to have respect for your relationship, but also your job is to be open and honest and vulnerable. So how do you find that happy balance? I think I've got it. Yeah.

I just find it by being very present in what's happening in my life and, and knowing when to share and when to not share. Yeah. Having communication with Jason about where we're at and if we're comfortable, like sharing things on social media. Yeah. Um, I just think it's about communication and, and just,

having a lot of self-awareness. Yeah. Yeah. And that's hard. Yeah. Cause a lot of times you don't find that self-awareness after you've screwed up. That's true. I'm very self-aware and even like, I'll be having a meltdown and I'm like, Oh, I'm having a meltdown. I'm like an out of body experience. I'm a child right now. Okay. I got to get out of it. Like I'm so, so aware. Yeah.

Okay. That's what I need. Some of that. So gosh, we'll just, you're, if you're already doing therapy and you're going to onsite and you're thinking, how old are you? 25. I was gonna say 25. Yeah. Think about, I'm 37. Think about where you're going to be in 10 years. If you're working on yourself the way you are right now. Yeah. I would at 25, I was, uh,

degenerate like I was like blacking out at nightclubs and like serving at restaurants and like not giving a shit about anyone but myself it was terrible well but look it can't you know where you're at today yeah that's yeah great I'll do it again exactly you'll have fun again

Yeah, it was bad. But if you're on a good path. Yeah, I'm trying. I'm trying. You are. You're going to be freaking incredible at 35. Hey, I hope so. You will. That's my goal. You will. And two, I'm learning to more and more every day, like even relationship wise. Like I don't have a type first off. Great. Like no type whatsoever. None.

It's my dad laughs about it. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, we never know who's fans going to be with today. Like never know. But I'm learning too that like a relationship is so much more

Then just like all this stuff that's preached to us, you know, it's just like, oh, you want to be Instagram cute and famous and this and that. And I'm like, no, I want the tough conversations. I want someone who's going to show up for me when I don't ask them to, you know, when they just know, hey, I need to show up like that for me. I'm like, that's the most attractive thing. Yeah. And screw what anyone else thinks. Have you guys heard of Tree Hut?

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slash unlocked 60 and use code unlocked 60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Again, go to green chef.com slash unlocked 60 and use my code unlock 60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. I do really believe that I have that. Yeah. Like Jason is an incredible partner. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. What would you say has been y'all's hardest thing to overcome?

we've been kind of lucky with not having like any huge things to overcome. Like, and that's like, we're really lucky for that. There has not been like a really rock bottom overcome moment for us. But I would say, honestly, probably trying to figure out like, what are we doing? Like, why aren't we prioritizing this wedding? Has probably been the hardest thing and we're kind of in it, but also it's not, it hasn't been like,

We just have honest, really open communication about it. We did an eight-hour therapy one day. Wow.

And got to talk so candidly and from such a vulnerable place. And we got so far in those eight hours of, and that was like probably the most thing we've had to overcome was just being in a place where we're like, what's going on with us? And then doing eight hours of therapy helped us. Yeah. And helped us overcome it. So I can never preach therapy enough. I've just, my gosh. I know. That's the thing. It's like-

And that's the scary part about therapy though, especially as a couple is you're either going to leave together or you're going to leave separated. Yeah. Like it's one or the other. Yeah. Because it's so you're in such a, like you feel that you're in a safe place to just throw it all out there. And you've got someone that's sitting there that's going to

Kind of be the navigator of the whole situation. Yeah. Actually, now that I think about it, one of the things that we have to overcome is how open I am and how he's more private. Yes. Because he thinks I should protect more of the relationship where I'm like...

But I'm so open and I want to talk about things. And I also love when somebody at home can take away something from it and understand that they go through this too. And that I'm a human and they're human. And that's kind of been hard to overcome too. See, that's where I am. Cause I'm a very open person and it's like my family members are like, could you not? Like you want to keep a little, you know, and I'm just like, it's,

When I see the impact that it has, I'm like, you know what? It's worth it. If me going through what I've gone through makes it easier on someone else and helps them, then I'm willing to go through it. Yeah, I agree. But I'm the same way. I'm just like word vomit. I like that about you, though. Yeah. Anything, everything. Sorry, I'll apologize later. Samesies. That's amazing. Okay, so...

Bachelor, Bachelorette, the whole franchise as a whole. Obviously, Chris Harrison, no longer a part of it. Yeah. And I'm just going to say it makes me sad. Yeah. Because like... He was incredible. He was incredible. Yeah. He made the show. Yeah. Like he... So I haven't watched it really since. Yeah. I watched a little bit whenever you were co-hosting. Yeah. And that was awesome. Yeah, it was fun. But you know, it's just...

Chris Harrison leaving COVID hitting. Yeah. It was not the same. Well, I always said that that show wouldn't be the same without him even before everything went down because there was going to be a time where he was going to retire. He wanted to retire in his forties. He's I think 46 or seven now, like he would have retired anyways. And I do think, I do think Jesse Palmer does a really good job, um, at being the host, but yeah, it's,

Anyone that comes in after Chris Harrison is kind of set up for failure because he was there from the beginning. Yeah. I always say he's the face of the franchise. He is. Yeah. He is. People love consistency and he was the consistency in that show. Yeah. And it was, yeah, it was, I mean, I am such good friends with both of them.

Both of them, Rachel Lindsay and Chris Harrison. And when that all went down... What was it exactly? Well, he basically had an interview with Rachel Lindsay where they were talking about some racism that was happening on the show. And Chris took the wrong side. It was the photo. It wasn't a photo of one of the girls at a college plantation party or something. And...

Chris was taking the wrong side. Okay. And it did leave a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. And I was like, oh my, I can't believe he just put Rachel in that position. And like, it just was really sad overall. Yeah. And so it was in like the height of cancel culture. And then...

With him being canceled and that show going into like having to do a quarantine season. Yeah. It's just, yeah. I mean, the ratings show it. It definitely dropped. Yeah. And how did he handle...

Because he was like immediately, I just remember him being like immediately canceled. Yeah. But I don't think it came from a place of... Well, he's not a bad human. No. He's not. I think he got caught up in some personal emotions. Yeah. And I mean, I can't speak for him, but I think that's what it is. And I think he has deep regret about it. Yeah. From what I've heard, he does. So yeah, it was just a really...

unfortunate situation. That sucks. He definitely didn't handle it the right way. And he knows that like he would say that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Cause it just, so now the show though, it's still going on. Yeah. Now, I don't know. It just kind of, you know, who knows? Maybe I'll be the next bachelorette. No. Oh my gosh. That would be amazing. Wait. I

Would you do it? Girl, no. I could not. What if they paid you like good money? Okay. Well, then we'll maybe talk about it. I've got a good entertainment lawyer. You can negotiate. That would be awesome. Here's the thing. I truly love the Bachelor franchise. I do. Like when I was part of that family and –

hosting slash mentoring, whatever they said I was, I was like, I want to be here and I want to like help the leads. And I just love being part of that family. And I love interviewing people from the franchise. Um, but what they don't do properly is PR because they should be bringing in people, you know, we've,

We all know everyone's there for Instagram anyways. Bringing people who already have an Instagram following, make them the lead, like spice it up a little. Have everybody come on my podcast, Nick's podcast, like any Bachelor podcast. Don't be like, no, they have to get approval. Like let it go crazy. Let the PR go nuts. They try to contain it too much. Yes. And let it go rogue and let people get the show talking. Like you like drama, not you, but the show. Look at what's happening right now with Vanderpump Girls. Yes.

Guess what? I've never watched an episode of Vanderpump and I can't wait to tune in for the next season. Exactly. Make it messy. It's just going completely. Yeah. The whole thing. Yeah. I wish they would like that. I always have to wait for approvals to get guests and, oh, well, we don't like what you said on this episode. So we might not have, you know, we'll wait to see. We'll see what we can do. And I'm like,

Get people talking. Exactly. It's going to help your show. No one wants this picture perfect image. Let them speak. Let them state their truth instead of this contrived, like, we need it to look this way, that way, whatever it may be. Yeah. And I love the show so much. I want them to do well. I want them to get back up to the numbers they used to have. And there is a way of doing that. And it's not what's happening now. It's just letting people go rogue. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah. No. I just think, honestly...

I would be terrible on a show like that because that is just a lot of drama. Like, I feel like I would look at some of these men and be like, but that's good. We need a bachelorette that would just cut it off. Yeah. You know, like no, but also too, that's gotta be challenging. Like having that many people, because I do believe that it's possible to have feelings that,

For multiple people at one time. It definitely is. It definitely is possible, especially in that situation. So like, what do you do? You know? You enjoy it. Yeah.

It's like, okay, let's hope this can go on forever and I don't ever have to make a decision. That's why it was the hardest thing ever is because I was enjoying it and I was also hurting people's feelings and that crushed me. So I'm like, well, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And this is the format of the show. And I can't just send people home because I know who it's going to be. You have to continue the show.

Yeah. And I would, I mean, it's everyone knows that listens to my podcast or that follows me. I've lost so much hair. I was like a mess of a person because I was just so, I felt so much shame. Yeah. That I was hurting people's feelings. See, so when it came to like the overnight date. Yeah. Who were your people? Ben, Nick and Sean. Oh gosh. I know. Okay. And like.

Is it truly like a night? Like, do you... Like, how does that happen? It's a night and then you have a night in between and then the next night and then a night in between. Okay. Yeah. And it's... I mean, it's really just... To be completely honest, it is the most important time of the whole show. It is when you actually get to know somebody. It's not just like bang town all night. Like, it's truly like, what are your political beliefs? What are your religious beliefs? Like, what...

What are your debts? Like it's like real nitty gritty conversation for hours. So between those three, which one did you like immediately X out and were like, okay, based off conversations, connections, something, this isn't going to work. Honestly, I don't,

I was so confused because I knew it was going to be Sean, but I was confused between Ben and Nick because I knew how much Sean hated Nick, that I wanted to let him go. But I knew Ben just felt more of a friend to me. Yeah. But they really loved the Nick and Sean drama. So it was kind of hard. So which one did you let go? Ben. Ben.

Oh, so it got down to Nick and Sean. Plus they wanted Ben to be the bachelor. So. Okay. Yeah. Which I did too. I was like, he should be the bachelor. He should. He should. He's sweet. He should. He's the best. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I know. They called him the perfect Ben. The perfect.

He's, yeah, that guy. And that was so much pressure for him to live up to. I felt so bad for him. Yeah. A perfect Ben. So when you... So how does it work? Obviously, the guy's the one proposing. Yeah. So like, how do you...

You know what I... So they... Like, specifically for my season, I was like, please don't let Nick get down on one knee. I don't want to do that to him. Yeah. And they're like, I actually think it's a good idea for you to let him because...

You got to let him have a chance to speak and say what he wants to say. Otherwise, he'll probably hold on to like resentment and he'll want to say. And I was like, okay, sure. See, I don't believe in that. No, they were just doing it for a good TV. They were just doing it for TV. Yeah. Because you have the right mindset of like out of respect and out of love. I don't want him to do that because I know I'm going to say no. Yeah. So it was those, oh gosh, that was so hard to do. But they both propose and then you have to say no or yes. Yeah.

I know. It's terrible. So, and then whenever you called off the engagement with Sean, does the franchise get the ring back? Yes. Oh, actually, no. Sorry. I still have that ring. You still have it? Yeah, I do. But because if you, it's a contract. So if you break up before the two years with the contract, then you have to get the ring back. But we were together for three and a half years. So I got to keep the ring. Oh, so what are you going to do? I have no idea. Yeah.

I want to like donate the money to charity or something. I just, I wanted to turn it into like good juju. That's see, you should. I know. That's a really good idea. I think so. Yeah. Wow. Or like find a really cool story.

Between a couple and like donate it. You know what I mean? Have people submit. I'm such a believer in energy. Do you think that hangs on to bad energy? Um, actually, yes, because I always said that when my fiance and I broke up, like we call it the engagement and then continue to date for three years after. That's wild. Yeah. Wild. I had always said if we were to get engaged again, it could not be with the same ring. No. Like could not.

Like could not be because it just symbolized like brokenness. Right. So I was like, no, it couldn't. Yeah. So I guess you're right on that. Yeah. I want to turn it into something like really good and positive. I like that. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to help you come up with an idea. Okay. That's really good. That's really good. So you don't have to give the ring back if you stay together. Right. For two years. Okay. Well, at least you walked away with something. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I don't know what good it did for me, but...

I walked away with a lot from that. A lot. I learned so much about myself in those years. And then how did you and Jason meet? On my podcast. Really? Yeah. Because he had come off the show. And so I interviewed him. And then I was like, I'll never forget. I was crying.

Before I interviewed him because I was like so sad about Sean. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But he's just, he reminds me of a Canadian guy and like, he's just such a, he's just a good guy. Well, he's from Buffalo, right? Yeah. So he's from Buffalo. It's still like that. Yeah. That like Buffalo boy, like honorary Canadian vibes. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. So how long did y'all date before you got engaged? Um, three years. Oh, that's a long time. Yeah. That's good though. Cause see, I...

I dated... I think it was like 11 months we dated before we got engaged. And that is way too soon. Yeah, it's still like honeymoon-ish. Yeah, you barely know what their favorite cereal is by the way. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's cool. The cool thing about coming off The Bachelor and Bachelorette and the fact that Jason had to, we had...

no shame in our game. Like we just talked right about like what we want out of like marriage, family, kids, money. Like we were so vulnerable with each other and able to just have those conversations because that's what you do on the show. And it's like no games, no time to play games. Like you have to throw it out there. Yeah. Well, see, I think if there was more of that,

There will be less time wasted. Yeah. Because I'm kind of that way. I'm like, hey, okay. So like, do we even align? Yeah. Like I want kids. I want to get married, but hey, I'm not getting married in this timeframe or that. Right. You know, like you have to be completely honest. I think it's great. I think it is so great to like, I'm so over people playing games and,

Like throw it all out there. And if they're going to, I don't know. I'm just like, I don't have time for it. I guess I'm a lot older than two. Like if I ever had to date again, oh my God. No, thank you. I don't think I would. It's awful. Unlocked with Savannah Chrisley is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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off. Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. The process of like from when my ex and I called it off to now. Yeah. It's just...

the dating game too it's like I was on that app Raya Raya yeah yeah yeah that too half the people on there should not even be on there I know like I encountered a restaurant owner he was not a restaurant owner he lied he was an assistant manager at bar taco so bless oh my gosh I know and I was like okay not that that's a bad job I'm just saying like why are you lying I'm like we're starting

this off on a lie, like, okay, like one that's working, I'm like, way to go. Like, at least you've got like a work ethic, willing to do whatever in order to like get by. Yeah. I commend that. Mad respect for it. Yeah. Restaurant industry is, accounts for over 50% of like our workforce. Totally. And it's a tough job. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So own it. Yeah, exactly. But like, you lied. Starting off on a dating app by lying. Literally.

like okay this may be a psycho bro yeah it was so bad and then like went out on a few dates with this guy we call him wall street um okay mr wall street went on a couple dates with him and like great then which i mean i don't blame him in all honesty it was like everything with my parents was happening going down and he was like you know i as much as i'm into you like i can't do this

Because of everything going on in your life. But wait, because of his job or because of what? Obviously everyone's no stranger. Like, oh, my parents are bank fraud, tax evasion, whatever. Right. And he was like, I really don't want to sound like an asshole because I'm really into you. But, and like, I could see this. He was like for the first time, cause he's 40.

He was 40? Yeah. He was like, for the first time, I could actually maybe see myself settling down, doing all these things. And he was like, you're such a breath of fresh air. I love that you're opinionated and you're a hard worker and all these things. He was like, but when I go...

He's got like a VC firm. So he's like, there's all these regulations. He was like, and when you're asking people to give you hundreds of millions of dollars, they're looking into every aspect of your life. Yeah. He was like, they're looking into every aspect of your life. Tell him to leave his job then. Yeah.

Yeah, just leave your job. So quit. Yeah. If you're really into me. Yeah, quit. Quit your job. That brings you in millions of dollars. Just quit it. Screw it. It's for love.

Honestly, though, I had so much respect for him for being that open and honest about it. And I understood it. I'm like, this is your livelihood. This, it sucks. Like I could have seen this going somewhere, but I have mad respect for you for communicating that like as much as you would love to do this, you just can't. You know why Savannah? Because he's 40. Yeah. Yeah.

See, and that's the thing. It's like, I love an older man. Hey, actually Jason's four years younger than me. I shouldn't say that, but he's ahead of his time.

I'm done. Yeah. That's amazing. But that's, I mean, Jason actually had to leave his corporate America job because of my podcast and how open and crazy I was. And I like talked about, I don't know how dirty we can get on this. Okay. Go for it. I talked about dry humping him on my period and how he picked my nose and he was like, yeah, his boss was like, we can't have headlines about you like this. Stop. Yeah. Yeah. See, and that's,

But Jason's an entrepreneur. Like he was just fine leaving that job. And like, obviously had so much other things to do. He's going to figure it out. And that's the thing. It was, it kind of sucked. Cause like this guy, like he had flown here. We met on Raya. Yeah. And how do you say it? Raya? Raya? I have no idea. It's R-A-Y-A. I've heard both. So I'm not sure. Okay. So Aaron, you say Raya, but Raya would be R-Y-A. Raya would be R-Y-A. What? R-Y-A.

Like the spelling. If you said Raya, it would be R-Y-A. Raya. M-A-Y-A. Maya. Oh. Oh. Touche. Touche. Touche. It's Raya. But no, Raya. Raya. Screw it, y'all. Oh.

I met him on this app and like he flew, he took the initiative to like fly here, get a hotel, which it's sad that I was like, oh wow, that's amazing. You know, cause like expectations. Oh yeah, your bar is in hell. Yeah. Like bar is in hell. Cause I'm used to people thinking like, oh, they're going to like stay with me. And I'm like, okay, wow. Okay. He got a hotel. He like came, got a car service, picked me up.

Like we had the best time. I did bring my friends though. Cause I was like, I gotta make sure this guy's not going to kill me. Oh, perfect. So I was like, first we'll do drinks with everyone. Yeah. And he like was great with my friends, bought all of our stuff. Oh, I hate this for you. I know. Right. Yeah. That's too bad. And then, so like, it was like a few weekends that he had come here to like hang out, do dinner, whatever. Was this before everything happened or during? No, it was like during. Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. So he came in knowing. Yeah. He came... That was the thing that sucked was like he came in knowing or maybe... Honestly, I don't know. I think that just shows he really liked you though because he probably came in thinking, oh, this could be just fun and then was like, oh shit, I have feelings. Yeah. And so then he was just like, I feel like such an asshole saying this to you. Like...

He was like, but it's just kind of my world. Like, he was like, they literally, when people are going to give you hundreds of millions of dollars, they're doing, they're looking at everything for your personal life, stuff that you've tweeted, stuff that you've posted. Like they look at everything. And I was just like, you know what? It sucks. It sucks, but I get it. And like, I wish you the best. And like, we're still friends, but I'm just like, it was so dating. Yeah.

In today's day and age sucks, but especially with like that, I was like, who would have ever thought that? I know that's tough for you because now that's something that you have to like deal with. Yeah. Yeah. And so, but dating in today's day and age just sucks in general. I can't even imagine. It's, I. Nobody, everybody is putting their like best picture on. Everybody's giving their best version of themselves and everyone's like,

trying to be better than the other person because they know there's options and it's just like becoming inauthentic. I don't know. I don't like it. It is. It is. So I'm really hoping pray that like you have a wedding soon so you don't ever have to deal with that again. I honestly, if that ever happened, I,

God forbid we broke up. I think I would be single for a, I would like go do, I don't know, like I'd somehow get pregnant just on my own and then just have a baby on my own and be like, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. So do you want, you want kids? Oh yeah. Okay. And could you see yourself having kids before you guys got married? Totally. See, that's what I've said. I'm like the fear

of commitment in a marriage scares me more than like having a child. Yeah. I would, I'm, I do feel like I'm supposed to be a mom. Like I, I don't feel like that because people are telling me like I feel in my soul I'm supposed to be one. Yeah. Yeah. And I've got my eggs frozen, so I've got a little time. Oh, see, that's great. I say, like I say I'm going to do that just because I'm like, it's an insurance policy. You should absolutely. And like yesterday. Yeah. Yeah.

Every year, your egg count goes down. See, and too, I have endometriosis like really bad. Oh, I'm sorry. So my doctor was like, a normal woman, like your eggs decrease by half at 30. Yeah. But since you have endometriosis, it like decreases by another half. Oh my gosh, you should freeze your eggs. Yeah, so I know. So I really need to. But also, I get scared because I have a good friend who, she was in her 30s. She was like, okay, I got to freeze my eggs. She froze her eggs and literally got pregnant like forever.

That's great. But she didn't want to get pregnant. Oh. Yeah. So, okay. Well, when she clearly wasn't using protection then. It's not the egg's fault.

I say your risk of getting pregnant is like a much higher after a retrieval because of all the. Oh, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely, but they told us don't have sex. Yeah. So she should have listened. Yeah. So I'm assuming you did not have sex. No, I waited. I remember being like this. Cause yeah, you're right. I do think that's a fact. Wait, where did you, where were you going with that? I remember being like this. Like I remember, I remember being like, we can't have sex right now.

Because we will get pregnant. And how long was that? I don't remember. I think like three weeks.

Really? Yeah, I think so. Oh, gosh. I could be talking out of my ass right now. This is just... You're just throwing out a number. This was like five years ago, but I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I'm dead. Yeah. Holy cow. Yeah. Okay, yes. I really should definitely freeze my eggs. Because if I... Yeah. If anyone... I know it's so expensive too. Like if you can, you should. Yeah. And that's the thing too. And that's what's sad though is a lot of women who can't afford to do it. I know. It's like, why aren't we doing...

Oh, don't get me started on that. Because there are like some big corporations that are great with that, that will actually pay for that. I know. And they should. And they absolutely should. So I want to say maybe Apple is one of them. I think so. Apple pays for it. Except a friend, one of my good friends, her sister works for Apple. Yeah. I think she got it done because they paid for it.

Yeah. That's really cool. I think every company should do that if they can. Yeah. Well, we know there's definitely a difference in men and women in companies. So... What about Unlocked? Will Unlocked just depart? Literally. Literally. I'm dead. I'm dead.

Oh my gosh. I love how we went down like a rabbit hole of literally everything. Everything. We started with an apology, then down the raya, raya, rabbit hole. Bachelor, bachelorette, exes, dating. That's... Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Freeze them if you can. Yeah, we literally went... Maybe we need to go on Dancing with the Stars. Oh,

I have no rhythm. Oh, that's even better. You would learn. People love to root for the underdog. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you know what? I would do it. I would do it. You should. I loved it. It was everything. You were on. I remember that. And you were so good. I won. You were so good. Well, I grew up dancing though. So I was kind of. Well, see, that's not.

But honestly, I had never ballroom danced and that is a whole other beast. Well, and too, isn't the training insane? It's insane. Like, isn't it like emotionally just like, yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. It was, it was actually harder than being the bachelorette. Really? Yeah. And so they can like teach you from the ground up. Yeah. Okay. And they will.

I think I could do that. Yeah, I think you should. I actually think you should. I'm going to text my friend who's the casting director of that. Oh my gosh, I would do it. Because you'd be a good guest on that. A good star. And two, because I just... Actually, holy crap, I'm surprised they haven't come to you for that. There was discussions at one time, but...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And two though, now we're about to start back filming a new show. So that's going to be like, I feel like that could be a good storyline too. It'd be great. Like, okay, we're connecting. Yeah, this is happening. We got to know what your thoughts are. I'm putting it out there. Because I cannot dance. That's great. I love when people can't dance. I can't even sway. And then you say, come on. And then you, what about like if you have a glass of wine? Well, yeah, at that point then like.

You never know what's going to happen. I took a tequila shot once before I went out there and did my dance. Did you? Yeah. See, sometimes you just need it. Like sometimes you're just like, okay, something's got to come over me. I actually have a feeling you're going to go on. Yeah. Okay. I like this feeling. We're putting it into the universe. Yeah. Also too, I do want to touch on your wine. Oh yeah. I brought one for you. Oh yeah. Do you have it? Spade and Sparrows. Yes. I don't know. Oh, there it is.

Yes. So your wine. Spade and Sparrows. It's the cutest packaging, like absolutely amazing. I'm obsessed with it. And it's in Target, right? So it's in Target in Texas and Georgia right now. And we're trying to go national. I told Target, the wine buyer, that I would get a tattoo of the Target logo on me if we went national.

Yeah. That's what got their attention. So then we got into Texas and then we really blew it out of the water because everyone who, I call them my big wine guys or people who listen to the podcast, I call them vinos. They show up.

Yes. I swear. I wish I could pay all of them because they're like my little marketing. I don't know. Like they just go out and market for me and they're amazing and they show up and they support. And so we did bottle signings and, um, hopefully Florida is next. That's amazing. And it's in like local grocery or grocery, um,

like wine shops in Nashville and a couple other spots. And then it's all online as well. You can buy it. That's amazing. And how did this come about? So I worked in the restaurant business for 11 years and I fell in love with winemaking, like the process, learning about it, going to vineyards. And I had to be trained under a sommelier. And then I had to train servers when I became a manager on wine knowledge. And

And so I loved it. And then on Bachelor and Bachelorette, people joked that a wine glass was my accessory. Like girls would have like a bag or like something else. And I'd always have a glass of wine. And so when I came off and had like this wine centric podcast off the vine, I was like, I need to make my own wine label because so many wine brands were coming to me that had really good offers. But I was like, I want to create my own and like be able to stand by it and do what I want and be my own boss there. And so I made my own. That

That is amazing. I love that. Yeah, it's so fun. I'm really proud of it. And too, just like a woman-owned business. Everyone knows I'm a huge advocate for that. It's really fun. Not enough women. I'm telling you, it was way harder than I thought it was going to be. Yeah, it is. People don't realize how hard just starting a business is and creating it from the ground up. Especially when the wine industry is filled by older men who don't understand what we're doing, like what our brand initiative is. They're like, huh?

and so it's been like a grind but it's so fun that's amazing yeah oh my gosh well you know what I'm so proud of you thank you wait to try it thank you we have um Pinot Grigio, Rose, Cab, and a Pinot Noir wow yeah y'all I let me just say I'm just happy we I got my apology out of the way very early on I hate that you're hanging on to that I was I was just like hanging on I was like oh my

She probably hates me. No. Yeah. So thank you for coming on. Thank you. You are freaking awesome. Thanks for having me. No, of course. And y'all, we're going to do a little swap. A little swap-a-rooney. So I'm going to be on Caitlin's podcast, Off the Vine, and God only knows where that is going to lead. Because I have a feeling it's going to be a little more inappropriate. So God help me. Maybe you should crack this wine. I know.

Hey guys, this is Kale Lowry. And this is V Rivera. We're the hosts of Baby Mamas No Drama. Every Tuesday we talk about parenting, co-parenting, lifestyle and sex, pop culture, current events, and pretty much all the things you want in one podcast. So download and subscribe on your favorite podcast app. Listen to us every Tuesday and join us with all the tea.

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